If you can't get it yourself, you'll feel lost. How do you overcome the envy and jealousy of others?

1. Appreciate every moment of your life.

If you really see these things, you'll realize that when you're jealous, you're not really living in the moment. You're just trying to survive in a state of fear that you're not good enough, and you're not really living.

You don't know how to live your life because you're always looking at other people and never enjoying the moment. To heal jealousy, you need to tell your inner child, "You are unique. You are shaped by life just the way you are. Enjoy your life. You are enough."

You need to meditate, relax your mind, and get back to a calm state of mind. You need to learn to identify with yourself and accept yourself for who you are.

Above all, make the most of every moment of your precious life.

2. Relax your mind and return to a calm state of being.

Everyone has a bit of a jealous streak. It makes us feel like we're not good enough and that we don't want others to be better than us.

Jealousy gives rise to three derivative emotions: hostility towards the other person, disappointment at being inferior to others, and anger at oneself for being jealous. So when you are jealous, there are two forces within you: disappointment and anger.

There's a deep-rooted belief, often from childhood, that we're not good enough and need to be better than others to be worthy of love. These beliefs are often instilled by our biological families when we're young.

From an early age, we learn to compare ourselves with others, to do better than them, to have something to measure ourselves against. It's as if only by doing better than everyone else can we finally relax and say to ourselves, "You're not bad."

When we feel inferior to others, we start to worry, lose sight of our own goals, and just want to follow and surpass them.

3. Let your inner child shine and embrace the grace in your life.

If you're really struggling with jealousy, try turning your attention back to yourself. When we see others succeed and excel, an inner voice might say, "Look, you're no better than him."

At this time, don't let the negative voice have the final say. Instead, cultivate a voice that can stand by you and speak for you: "He is he, I am me, and what he has may not be what I have." Count the blessings in your life, and this will give you the strength to bless the other person.

4. If you notice that you're feeling jealous, try turning it into something positive for the other person.

If you notice that you have feelings of jealousy, try turning them into blessings for the other person.

The good news is that positive energy attracts positive energy. So, if you're feeling envious of someone else's success and you're projecting negative energy in the form of jealousy, then what you envy won't come to you because your negative energy will repel it. The even better news is that if you project the energy of blessing, then what you envy may be attracted to you.

Hello there, question asker!

It's totally normal to feel envious, jealous, and lost when you see others achieving what you want while you're still struggling. I get it! In fact, most people have this mentality. It's just part of being human, and you don't have to blame yourself too much.

So, our homework is to overcome the "evil" of human nature by improving our moral character. How do we do that?

Let's talk about cognitive upgrades!

You say you feel that others are not working as hard as you are. I'm wondering if that's really true, or if it's just your feeling.

It might just be your feelings, and not the truth. There might be others out there who are secretly cheering you on, even if you can't see them or aren't aware of them.

It's also possible that someone else has found a way to do things more professionally and effectively, and that their approach reflects past efforts. So, it's important to think about why others are succeeding and why you're not, and not get caught up in appearances.

It's okay to accept your emotions.

We all know how it goes. When we work hard but don't get the results we want, it's only natural to feel a bit lost, sad, or even self-blame. And who doesn't feel a little jealous of others sometimes? This is only human nature. As long as these emotions are within a normal range and don't harm ourselves or others, we just need to be aware and accept them.

It's so important to avoid generalizing emotions.

After we experience a loss, it's really important to encourage ourselves with positive comments to avoid spreading negative emotions. While facing the results with an open mind, we should also actively seek solutions to stop the loss in time.

After all, we can't change what's done is done. And while it's okay to feel sad or regretful, dwelling on it won't help. The future is bright and waiting for us!

I really hope this helps you, and I wish you the very best!

Hello, question asker!

I'm Angela Yao, one of your listeners.

Jealousy of others

You feel a little hurt and frustrated. What are your thoughts on this?

What others get so easily, you don't. Is there something wrong with you?

It really bothers you when others are more successful than you.

You tend to be pretty demanding of yourself and strive for perfection. When you make a minor misstep, you tend to label yourself as not being up to par.

Feelings of loss

You're self-aware, which is a great quality!

You said you were grateful to the person who answered, and it made me a little tearful and sad. I feel so sorry for you and sense your urgent desire to change yourself. I'm here if you need anything.

We all need to feel affirmed, needed, and seen.

Find out what makes you beautiful and strong.

Often, we think we don't have any strengths or just a few because we have some wrong ideas about what a strength is. So the first step to discovering your strengths is to clear up any confusion you may have.

You don't have to compare your abilities and values with those of others. An advantage is something you're good at. If you feel excited, a sense of authenticity and ownership when expressing this characteristic, then it is your advantage.

It's important to use your strengths in a way that works for you. You don't have to be strong in every area all the time. For instance, you might be very fair at times, and at other times you don't have to be so strict.

All strengths are equal. Some people are friendly, while others are upright. The world allows the strengths of each personality trait to shine through.

An advantage is different from a talent (like perfect pitch). You can develop an advantage through postnatal intervention (like learning to appreciate music). Major events can also affect your advantages. For example, overcoming major setbacks can lead to greater courage and perseverance.

How do you identify your strengths?

Step 1: Look for proof in your past experiences. Even if you're not sure what your strengths are, you can find a connection to them by looking back at what happened in the past.

Next step: What did you do? How did you feel at the time?

I bet you've already found evidence of a strength in the process of exploring past events, or maybe you've discovered other strengths in yourself and evidence to support it. In addition to introspective exploration, outward communication can often help us improve our understanding of ourselves and is an important way to discover strengths.

Have a chat with a close friend or family member and ask them to help you find evidence of this strength or look for other strengths they see in you. You can also respond to their ideas (e.g., whether you agree with them).

Learning to use your strengths in life can help you become more aware of them.

I hope this is helpful.

Yi Xinli World and I Love You.

Hello! I really hope my answer can help you in some way.

I used to be just like you, and I still sometimes feel this way. I used to envy and be jealous of someone or some people in particular, so much so that I didn't even want to see them. Later, when others praised them, it made me feel a little jealous, wondering why other people liked them. But then I realized something amazing! Behind every emotion there is a need, and every emotion also has a function. The important thing is not which person we are jealous of, but whether we have satisfied certain needs and desires of our own. If our needs and desires have not been met, then there will always be people who make us jealous and envious. But we can choose to be happy instead!

I've got some great advice for you!

I came to understand myself, accept my jealousy, and see what my needs and desires are behind the emotions—and it was a total game-changer!

It's totally normal to feel envious and jealous of others when they get what you want with less effort. It's human nature! But when you never get what you want, it's important to recognize that it's not a good choice to be jealous of others. It'll only make you pay attention to them, afraid that they'll become better, which is uncontrollable. It'll also make you more anxious because your attention is on them and you still haven't taken action yourself. And when you learn about some positive developments in others, it'll generate pressure because you'll be afraid that they'll get it again and you won't. But you can do it!

So, we can allow ourselves to feel jealous and envious! These emotions are a reminder that you have some unmet needs and desires within you. What an amazing opportunity to focus on what you can do now to ultimately satisfy your own needs and desires. And when you start to take action to satisfy your own needs and desires, your jealousy and envy will ease.

2. Let me tell you about myself. I'll show you how I came to understand my own needs and desires through jealousy and envy, and how I gradually moved towards the expected self.

Once, I was especially jealous of someone who could not only take care of the family and children, but also work and earn money to support the family. At that time, I was at home full-time, and I was ready to take on the challenge! It seemed that I had to rely on my husband for everything, but I was excited to learn and grow. I also didn't see the value of taking care of the children full-time, but I was eager to discover my strengths.

So, every time I saw her, I was especially jealous. When I was jealous, I would reject her, not want to see her, and get angry when others said she was good. So, I began to become aware of what desires and needs were behind my jealousy.

I finally discovered that I was jealous of her amazing ability to take care of her family while also developing herself. She not only takes good care of her children, but she also perseveres at work! This is my inner desire, the life I look forward to. In fact, it has nothing to do with her, but rather with my own inner needs.

When I saw this, I let go of my jealousy and envy of her, returned to my own life, and began to work hard to create opportunities for myself to develop while caring for my children and family. After several years of hard work and adjustment, I have been acting and moving firmly in the direction I want to go. And now, I have achieved it! So, at this moment, when I look at her again, I am completely free of jealousy and envy because I have fulfilled my inner needs and desires. I am satisfied and content with myself, and I'm excited to see what the future holds!

3. You can also conquer jealousy by taking action, persevering, letting go of comparisons, focusing on your own growth, and continuing to move towards your ideal self.

Once you've identified your inner needs and desires, and have a clear vision of who you want to become, it's time to take action! Make a plan and start moving towards your goal. If you're jealous of their good grades, study harder and get the grades you want. If you're envious of their possessions, work harder and earn enough money to buy what you want with your own abilities. If you're jealous of their eloquence in public speaking, practice public speaking and become the person who can shine on the stage!

You don't need to focus on them. Comparison only brings anxiety and inferiority. But there's no need to fret! If our deep desires are not seen and fulfilled, jealousy through comparison will always be there. As I just said, when you focus on their actions and thoughts, you will become more anxious because you have no control over their actions and thoughts. However, when you focus on your own actions and thoughts and work hard to fulfill your inner desires and needs, then, as you start to take action and move step by step towards your ideal self, you will no longer be jealous of them.

Well, that's all for now! I really hope it helps. Best wishes!

Dear Question Owner,

It is only natural to feel envious and jealous of others when you perceive that they are achieving their goals with less effort than you are. This can lead to feelings of frustration and a lack of direction.

From your description, it is evident that you feel envious of others who have achieved their goals through their efforts, while you have not. This has led to a sense of loss and inferiority. I empathize with your situation. It is natural to experience this feeling when there is a discrepancy between what you invest and what you receive. In such instances, it is common to resort to self-blame.

The reason for this situation is that we need to reflect on why others can easily achieve their desired outcomes with less effort. This demonstrates that their methods and efficiency are effective, while our learning style or self-confidence may be factors that hinder our success.

How can I manage my feelings of disappointment?

Firstly, it is important to learn to recognise emotions. This involves understanding our own emotional responses and the reasons behind them. We all have different approaches to situations, and if we cannot accept our own state of mind, it can lead to feelings of confusion and uncertainty. It is essential to identify the source of these emotions, understand their cause and learn to express negative emotions in a constructive manner.

② Perform a logical analysis of your own reasons and those of others. It is a universal truth that success requires hard work. It may not be apparent when others are exerting effort, or we may not have mastered their methods and approaches, which means we cannot do something efficiently either. It is inevitable that others will succeed, and the right approach is actually possible.

It is important to avoid allowing disappointment to control your actions. This can lead to a lack of self-esteem and confidence. However, it is essential to understand that there are often multiple factors that contribute to success, and that external circumstances can play a significant role. Factors such as timing, location, and the involvement of other individuals can all have an impact. It is crucial to consider these elements when evaluating outcomes.

Finally, adopt a broad-minded approach, recognise the strengths of others, learn from their methods and approaches, and seek advice from others with an open mind. Adjust your mindset. Success is not a matter of chance; it is the result of hard work, serious intent, and finding a way to succeed.

I hope these suggestions are useful to you.