I'm a high school girl, and I don't like my thoughts about love. How do I change them?

Be kind to that part of you that's feeling conflicted.

First, you are a girl with good self-control and growth potential. It's totally normal for adolescents of both sexes to have high expectations for interactions and romances with the opposite sex. It's part of our physical and mental development. We can't resist it, and we shouldn't try to resist it. We just have to go with the flow!

You're doing a great job!

Second, from the third year of junior high school to high school, it is precisely this stage of youthful confusion. You can relax about other people's comments and how you get along with male classmates. It's okay if you have these thoughts; the other person may not necessarily have the same thoughts.

Third, there are ways to do this! Distract yourself by focusing on your favorite celebrity or sport. Think about what kind of girl you are, what kind of male idol you like, and what kind of love you hope to have. Read novels or write them down. If a boy you don't dislike chases after you or gets close to you, you might as well try to get to know him better! Of course, the most important thing is to know when to stop, to be aware of the situation, to focus on your studies, and not to let it affect your studies.

Don't worry! After the college entrance exam or when you go to university, you'll gradually adapt and get used to it.

Hey there! I'm Qingnian JIA2020, your friendly neighborhood pretentious young man. I'm looking forward to keeping in touch with you!

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I'm in my first year of high school, and I used to feel indifferent to things like love. But I transferred to a junior high school with a particularly strong love culture in my third year of junior high school, and it was a total game-changer! At first, I felt that they were strange, but then I gradually got used to it and couldn't help but start thinking in that direction.

When I got to high school, my classmates were always talking about love and relationships. I feel very uncomfortable being with a member of the opposite sex, and sometimes I wonder if he likes me. I don't like these thoughts, but I'm excited to get rid of them!

Dear questioner,

Hello!

From feeling nothing about love to feeling something about love and paying attention to the opposite sex, you feel that you have been influenced by a "bad atmosphere" and you kind of hate this side of yourself. But don't worry! This is totally normal. It's a natural part of growing up.

I can't help but smile when I see your anxiety!

I want to tell you, my child, you are absolutely amazing!

Your behavior is a normal psychological phenomenon of an adolescent child. Don't be anxious, and don't think that you have become a "bad child"!

Absolutely! The environment can indeed have an impact on a person. At first, you felt indifferent towards love because, firstly, your puberty arrived a bit late, and secondly, you are relatively self-disciplined and have high expectations of yourself, which may have been influenced by your family education. You think you have been influenced by the stronger romantic atmosphere at your new school, but in fact, adolescent boys and girls have already entered a period of confusion, and they begin to be attracted to the opposite sex internally and will also unconsciously attract the opposite sex.

So, don't despise yourself! Don't think that you've been influenced by a "bad trend" or that you've become a "bad boy."

From your behavior, it can be seen that you are a good boy who listens to your parents. Your parents may have taught you not to fall in love at an early age, so you reject or resent the idea of early love. But here's the good news! Although you are entering puberty and your body is developing and your mind and psychology are maturing, early love does have many negative effects, such as affecting your studies, your mental development, and your physical health. But you can avoid these pitfalls by following these three simple tips!

It's totally normal to say that you feel uncomfortable around the opposite sex!

It's totally normal to wonder sometimes if the opposite sex likes you!

Guess what? It's even more normal to like a member of the opposite sex sometimes, or to have a crush on someone of the opposite sex!

These are normal phenomena, so don't beat yourself up or feel guilty. Just face them and embrace them!

So, how can you face it with equanimity? I have three tips for you!

Don't be afraid! The more you fear, the more attention you will pay, and the more energy will be focused on this point, so that the matter of love will instead linger in your mind all day.

It's so simple! Just reduce your attention and treat it as a normal phenomenon. It will become less prominent in your life.

Don't beat yourself up too much! It's totally normal to like looking at the opposite sex or to have a crush on someone of the opposite sex. You don't have to morally condemn yourself!

Your parents did a great job raising you! There's absolutely nothing wrong with the education they gave you, and there's also nothing wrong with your natural psychological reaction to your constantly developing body. You can judge some people of the opposite sex in your heart and observe which types you like. Just remember to keep a sense of proportion and only make judgments. Understand that you prefer a certain type of person based on your own values, and don't let a specific person get into your heart. That would go against your original intentions and really make you fall into deep self-condemnation.

A great way to relax and have fun! Your main task as a student is to study. You know this, and you know that paying attention to the opposite sex and being liked by the opposite sex is a normal thing. When you stop worrying about self-blame, your heart will relax, and you'll be able to focus your attention on your studies!

What attracts the attention of others? A wise child will attract the opposite sex by studying hard and being excellent. A child who gives up on himself will attract the attention of others by constantly creating conflicts and problems. You will undoubtedly choose the former! So, throw yourself into your studies and let your excellence earn you more admiring glances from the opposite sex. Then, you'll be holding your head high with pride and feeling more confident inside!

Come on, cheer for your self-discipline! You can do it!

?

Hello, I'm Nan Mumu.

1️⃣ Young and in love

You seem a little put off by the idea of falling in love. It's normal to be young and in love.

You didn't feel anything before because of circumstances or because you hadn't reached that stage yet.

As kids grow up, they start to understand more about gender. Boys want to be like men, and girls have their own secrets.

This is part of growing up.

It's normal to have someone you like.

2. The Troubles of Young Werther

If you like someone, you worry about losing them. Young Werther was the same. You shouldn't blame yourself.

You're wondering if the other person likes you back. That's normal for your age.

Congratulations! You are entering the most trying and most beautiful time of your life. You may become sensitive and mysterious, and your imagination may run wild.

Don't be afraid. This is normal. You may have tried to change, but it didn't work.

If you can't change it, enjoy it.

You'll look back on this with happy memories.

3️⃣ Don't forget your original goals.

Remember, studying is your top priority.

Studying is a way to relieve stress. When you're studying, you won't have time to think about things you don't like.

In adolescence, use your energy to study.

Give your all to your studies. You'll thank yourself one day.

I hope this helps.

We love the sun and love.