I'm divorced, and now he's asking me for money. I'm actually willing to lend it to him. Am I a masochist?

Hello! I see your question and I'm here to help. Let me answer your question from the following points.

I can see that you feel abused after lending money to your ex-partner. It's understandable! You still hold on to the victim role in that relationship. You feel that he abandoned you so harshly, and that traumatic memory makes you feel that lending money to that person is not worthwhile. But you are a kind and very loving person, so you will choose to help him when he is in trouble. The two forces are struggling with internal depletion.

Second, it's important to remember that the breakdown of a marriage doesn't mean the end of the relationship between the two people. It's possible that you feel the need to prove to him that you're still willing to lend him money, even though he treated you poorly. This could be a way of expressing your dissatisfaction with him. It's also possible that you're using this method to balance the hurt you experienced in that relationship. Whether or not you're a masochist is also a way to balance the hurt inside yourself. Perhaps you're not giving money to your ex, but to the injured part of yourself.

Hello! I'm a heart coach, and I'm here to tell you that life is an amazing journey! It's not about appreciation, but about blooming and flourishing!

From your words, I can see a forgiving and kind woman. He was ruthless and heartless, determined to leave when you got sick, but you, without the premise of marital relations or legal responsibilities, still lent him money. I don't think it's being abused. Even though the two parties are no longer husband and wife, there is still affection in their hearts.

Not all breakups are the result of "if we divorce, don't come back to me."

There's this traditional Chinese concept of marriage that's really fascinating. It's all about cutting ties completely and moving on. Especially when both parties are blaming each other and tearing each other down in front of the kids, it can really lead to a breakdown in the marriage. It can even affect the connection between being a child's father and mother.

There are so many reasons for divorce! Some involve a complete break, others are forced, and some have special reasons. Even if there is no longer an intimate relationship, there is at least the bond of affection!

Even in a marriage, after living together for a long time, passion often turns into affection—and that's a wonderful thing!

You have been divorced for 3.5 years, and when the other person has difficulties, he asks you for money. It is not because you have old feelings for him and fantasize about getting back together, but because you have already regarded him as your own family, which is really great!

In particular, you experienced his "abandonment," and when you saw him in "distress," you were even more understanding and compassionate. Your empathy was at work, and it's so inspiring to see how your "returning kindness for hatred" reflects your incredible growth. As you said, without understanding yourself, you are now more caring, and it's so inspiring to see how you've grown!

There are three fantastic ways to promote our growth: blessings from above, natural disasters, and learning. You have experienced illness, and at your most difficult time you suffered his "abandonment," but you did not regard yourself as a "victim," but instead actively faced the problem and took responsibility.

From this perspective, your ex-husband asking you for money is a great opportunity to test your growth and change! Believe with all your heart that "everything that happens is for my benefit."

2. Look at it from another perspective and remind yourself effectively.

You said, "Whenever he gets into trouble, he comes to me for money." This shows that the other person has already formed this "pattern." And your "cooperation" has helped him strengthen this pattern, which is great because now you can help him change it!

I'm so excited to tell you about this amazing book I've read called "How Others Treat You Is What You Teach Them." It's a game-changer!

It's important to understand the real reason behind his borrowing. Is it for something bad like laziness, gambling, or paying off debts? Or is it an emergency? Depending on the situation, you have the power to refuse to lend him money. Not only will this protect you, but it will also help him grow, change, become more diligent, and learn to cherish.

In interacting with others, we can also see our own patterns! It's so interesting to see how our experiences shape us. So, are you really "abused" as you say? And does he really not pay back the money he borrowed?

Oh my goodness, could he really be using cunning tricks and pretending to be pitiful to trick you into feeling sympathy?

Absolutely! Learning from others' mistakes can help you improve yourself (understand what you have gained and lost). And kindness filled with wisdom can help you have a better life!

I really hope the above is helpful to you! And I just want to say that I love you, the world, and I love you too!

If you want to continue communicating, I highly recommend following my personal homepage, "Heart Exploration Service."

Greetings, My name is Jiang 61.

Firstly, I would like to express my gratitude for entrusting me with your concerns and seeking guidance. You have inquired, "I am divorced, and now he is requesting financial assistance from me. I am willing to provide it. Do I exhibit a proclivity for abuse?"

"After reading your brief introduction and understanding your situation, I would like to discuss this issue with you.

1. Introduction

1. Borrowing Money

You stated, "It has been approximately three and a half years since my divorce from my former spouse. At the time of our separation, it was due to my illness, which my former spouse was adamant about divorcing me over. However, he now frequently seeks financial assistance from me. I am willing to provide it, but I am concerned that I may be susceptible to abuse."

The relationship between the two parties is currently in a state of separation, with a divorce having occurred three and a half years ago. The cause of this divorce was the illness of one party, which resulted in the other party being determined to seek a divorce. It would

The dissolution of your marriage occurred three and a half years ago due to your illness and your ex-husband's desire to end the marriage. It would be beneficial to understand the nature of your illness and its potential impact on your ex-husband's behavior.

The question then becomes whether there is a tendency toward abuse.

You indicated that your former spouse is experiencing financial challenges and has requested financial assistance. You have not only demonstrated understanding and generosity in providing this support but have also expressed reservations about the potential for abuse.

From an alternative standpoint, this issue is perceived as an instance of benevolence and compassion.

2. Love

In a previous statement, you indicated that you currently have a more positive regard for your body and a greater capacity for care and compassion. You further noted that this shift in perspective was not a sudden occurrence, but rather a gradual process.

In the past,

You previously indicated that you were unloving, but that was due to a particular incident that prompted you to recognize your capacity for greater care and assistance towards others.

The subject displays a lack of self-awareness.

Previously, you harbored negative sentiments toward your body. What precipitated this aversion? Presently, you exhibit less disdain for your body and demonstrate greater compassion.

2. The rationale behind this transformation

1. Masochistic tendencies

A proclivity toward maltreatment

The term "masochistic tendencies" is used to describe an individual's psychological inclination towards seeking and deriving satisfaction from situations of physical, psychological, or sexual abuse or control within a sexual or emotional relationship. This inclination may manifest as a desire for domination, oppression, or the act of inflicting or imagining, fantasizing about, or enacting suffering.

It is not possible to ascertain

The reason for your ex-husband's determination to divorce you must be for a justifiable reason. Your assertion is an overgeneralization. Therefore, the fact that he was unable to divorce you and then ask you for money, and you accepted it all, indicates that you are a person with a tendency to be abused.

2. Compassion

The term "compassion" is defined as follows:

The term "compassion" is defined as an individual's awareness of and empathy for another person's feelings, as well as the expression of such feelings. It is important to note that everyone possesses varying degrees of compassion, and that some individuals may be unaware of their capacity for it.

Transformations in one's capacity for change.

The questioner indicated that prior to this transformation, they lacked the capacity to love. However, the shift from a state of lovelessness to one of love has facilitated a sense of life and the awakening of their innate kindness and compassion. This transformation can be identified as the fundamental reason for the questioner's change.

The third aspect to be considered is the expression of love.

The expression of love

It is evident that individuals possess disparate interpretations of love and that their expressions and receptions of it are similarly diverse. Dr. Gary Chapman has classified the ways in which people express and receive love into five distinct "languages of love": "affirming words," "quality time," "gifts," "acts of service," and "physical touch."

Affirming Words

Regardless of the relationship in question, whether it be between friends, colleagues, lovers, or a married couple, the provision of praise and affirmation, coupled with a greater degree of positive feedback, is essential for the deepening of the relationship in question.

Special moments are defined as those occasions when two individuals engage in a ritualistic exchange of gifts or actions that are meaningful to them.

A thoughtful moment is defined as a wonderful moment or memory that is shared between two individuals. This may take the form of a candlelit dinner or engaging in an activity that holds personal significance for both parties. During such moments, it is essential to give one's undivided attention to the other person.

The acceptance of gifts

The exchange of gifts on significant holidays represents a highly ritualized event. This ritual, along with the gift itself, serves to strengthen the bond between the two parties involved.

Service actions

In essence, it entails fulfilling the other person's desires and ensuring their happiness through one's actions. Such acts of service are frequently minor actions in the larger scheme of life.

Physical contact

Physical contact, such as holding hands and hugging, has the potential to intensify feelings of affection and is a form of non-verbal communication that conveys love.

Love in the heart

It is possible that the questioner is unaware that their willingness to lend money to their former spouse and repay it with kindness may be driven by the hope that the other person can improve. Consequently, when their former spouse has a need, they are willing to satisfy it and express their love.

This kind of love is deeply buried in the heart of the questioner, who is unaware of it and believes that they exhibit abusive tendencies.

3. Methodological approach

1. Professional consultation

Should the questioner suspect that they may be prone to abuse, they are encouraged to seek professional counseling. This will enable them to provide a detailed account of their relationship and determine whether they may be at risk of abuse.

2. Understand yourself

It is imperative to gain an understanding of one's own self.

The questioner indicated a lack of self-awareness. An examination of the questioner's introduction revealed the presence of unidentified inner qualities, suggesting a need for further introspection and self-discovery.

The process of self-understanding is an essential component of personal growth and development.

To gain insight into one's own identity, it is essential to begin with an understanding of one's fundamental characteristics, origins, and potential for growth. In order to fully comprehend oneself, it is vital to recognize and comprehend one's own character traits, interests and hobbies, areas of expertise, abilities, strengths, and weaknesses.

Thirdly, it is essential to cultivate self-confidence.

It is advisable to capitalise on one's strengths.

An understanding of the self, particularly of one's deeper inner selves, potential, and consciousness, allows for the development of one's potential and strengths, thereby enabling a stronger, more capable individual to provide assistance to those in need and to love those they love.

It is essential to cultivate self-confidence.

When an individual attains a comprehensive understanding of their own being and becomes fortified internally, they are able to cultivate self-confidence and discern the rationale behind their actions. They are no longer susceptible to doubt and are capable of acting in accordance with their own volition, rather than being compelled to do otherwise by external forces.

The author of the question should inquire of themselves whether they believe themselves to be kind and compassionate. They should then consider that they are capable of expressing themselves only with love. In order to understand themselves, they should endeavour to build themselves up, to do what they want to do, and to be themselves.

The following represents a synthesis of my thoughts on the question.

Ultimately, it is my hope that the questioner will enjoy a fulfilling and joyous existence.

Dear friend, I know your feelings are mixed. Your ex-husband's request for help will make you feel many things. This is a battle of the heart and a journey of self-discovery.

You may still have feelings for him or feel responsible to help him because of past experiences. You may also worry that helping him will hinder your own recovery.

It's normal to have mixed feelings when your ex asks for help. It doesn't mean you're abusive, just that you're kind.

Psychologists call this "emotional dependence" or "emotional entanglement." It means that even after a relationship ends, people may still feel close to their former partner.

Your ex-husband's request for help may make you feel conflicted. You may feel like helping, but also worry it will affect you.

Set clear boundaries to protect yourself.

When dealing with this situation, understand your true feelings. Is it out of compassion or a sense of duty?

Is it about the past or the future? Understand your feelings to make the best decision.

While helping your ex-husband, you must set clear boundaries. You can help in any way you want, but it must not affect your own life and emotional recovery.

If you decide to help, do it because you want to, not because you feel you have to. You can also get help from friends and family or a professional counselor.

While helping others, take care of yourself. Maintain healthy habits and get enough rest.

You're more accepting and loving of your body, which is a good sign. It shows you're growing and accepting yourself more.

Many people have similar feelings after a divorce. You may feel bad, but it's a chance to grow.

Your feelings are valid. Celebrate your growth and progress. Move on, take care of yourself, and let the sky be brighter.

Dear Sir/Madam, From your description, I can appreciate the conflict and helplessness you are experiencing. Kind regards,

As a counselor, I would like to discuss my understanding from a psychological perspective.

The issue at hand is that it has been approximately three and a half years since the dissolution of your marriage.

At the outset, your partner opted to leave because you were ill. Rather than providing support and assistance, he chose to abandon you. This would have been a distressing experience, both physically and emotionally.

However, he now regularly approaches me for financial assistance, and I am inclined to provide it. Do I exhibit a proclivity for being mistreated? Your relationship with your former spouse was characterized by abuse and masochism.

This necessitates an awareness of both parties' character traits and a comprehension of the events that have transpired over the course of the marriage, as well as the established patterns of interaction between the two individuals.

I have gained a greater understanding of myself and my character traits. I am more caring than I was in the past. You have developed the ability to reflect on yourself. When you let go of these traits, you will be able to understand and love yourself. You will then be able to evaluate and observe others, including family, friends, colleagues, and even people who have hurt you.

Please describe your approach to conflict resolution.

First, gain an understanding of your own character traits.

Please describe your relationship with your parents. How do you feel about your husband, and how did you feel during the process of falling out of love and separating?

It is only by being self-aware that you can seek professional psychological counseling to gain a deeper understanding of yourself and the unconscious motivations behind your behaviors.

Secondly, it is important to accept yourself. You have expressed feelings of lack of love and hatred for your body. This may be a deficiency that you have been unable to accept previously. However, through your experience of the dissolution of the marriage relationship, physical illness and internal trauma, you can learn to be more accepting of yourself. You also have many excellent qualities, such as your kindness, strength, optimism, tolerance and persistence. These have shaped you into the person you are today, despite experiencing trauma and suffering. You have the ability to accept your deficiencies and show yourself in order to better complete your internal integration.

Third, it is important to develop a sense of self-worth and self-esteem. What are your interests and hobbies?

What resources do you have at your disposal? When you are tired, distressed, and helpless, you must also learn to express your inner feelings, release the pressure inside, ask for help, pay attention to your own heart, love yourself first, and then love those you can love, including yourself. You are willing to help your ex-husband, and there may still be emotion involved, or perhaps you have let go of yourself. These unconscious expressions are all about accepting yourself from within, and learning to let go of resentment.

It is important to recognize that the world and I love you. In order to achieve personal growth and stability, it is essential to learn to love yourself, understand yourself, accept yourself, feel and experience love and happiness, use love to dissolve resentment, and also learn to abide by boundaries, protect yourself, and grow into a strong and stable person inside. Best of luck!

Good day, My name is June Lai Feng.

Providing financial assistance to your former spouse after the dissolution of your marriage does not inherently indicate a proclivity towards abuse. It could be attributed to a residual emotional bond or a benevolent nature. However, this circumstance may give rise to some concern. It is important to note that your actions are influenced by a multitude of factors from a psychological standpoint.

There may be an emotional factor involved. Despite being divorced, there may still be some degree of emotional connection, which could lead to a willingness to help the other party.

It could be a sense of responsibility or a kind nature. You are a helpful individual with a track record of assisting others, particularly if you believe that your former spouse is facing a challenging situation.

The previous pattern of collaboration may have made you accustomed to providing support when he has needs.

It is possible that the recollection of past experiences and positive memories may evoke feelings towards him.

It is possible that your sense of self-worth will increase as a result of providing assistance, which may lead to a perception of value and a sense of being needed.

Prior to making a decision to borrow, there are several factors that require consideration.

Firstly, it is important to ascertain whether you have fully moved on from this relationship and are no longer susceptible to being hurt again.

Secondly, it is important to assess whether the borrower has the ability and credit rating to repay the loan.

It is important to ensure that lending money does not have a significant impact on your personal or professional life.

Next, establish the terms and conditions for providing financial assistance and maintain a professional distance.

Ultimately, do not disregard your genuine sentiments merely because you believe you are obliged to offer assistance.

From your description, it appears that you have already developed some self-doubt. Going forward, we can work to improve our behavior.

First, establish clear boundaries and recognize that you have already divorced and have your own lives, with distinct boundaries between you.

Second, identify the reasons behind your willingness to lend him money, whether driven by residual feelings or other factors. Determine whether you are prepared to extend financial assistance to your former spouse and the rationale behind this decision.

It is important to consider whether this is compatible with your financial situation and personal values.

Once more, it is essential to prioritize your own interests and feelings.

If you decide to lend money, set a clear amount and a deadline for repayment. It is important to avoid creating financial dependence.

Ultimately, it is essential to prioritize your own needs and interests. If you feel it is inappropriate, learn to decline in a tactful but assertive manner.

Regardless of the decision made, it is essential to ensure that it is a result of your own free will, rather than being influenced by external factors such as pressure or guilt. Additionally, it is crucial to pay attention to your emotional needs.

It is of the utmost importance to respect your own feelings and decisions in this matter. If lending money causes you discomfort or raises any doubts, you may wish to follow your inner intuition.

Additionally, it is important to maintain a healthy level of self-compassion and self-assurance. Each individual's circumstances and approach to a situation is unique. It is essential to ensure that your decision is grounded in a foundation of sound self-boundaries and self-worth, rather than being driven by emotional responses.

I hope you have found this account to be helpful. Best regards, [Name]

It is erroneous to assume that one is susceptible to abuse merely because one is amenable to extending financial assistance to one's former spouse. The willingness to provide aid to others is not inherently problematic. It evinces a capacity for compassion and care, both of which are highly commendable personal attributes.

However, it is also imperative to consider one's own interests and feelings and to refrain from making unwise decisions as a result of past emotional entanglements.

In considering whether to extend credit to one's former spouse, it is essential to ascertain whether the proposed loan will have an adverse impact on one's own financial well-being. If one is in a position to provide assistance and is willing to do so, a loan may be a viable option. However, it is crucial to delineate the terms of the loan, including the amount, repayment period, and method of repayment. A written agreement can serve as a valuable tool to clarify expectations and mitigate potential disputes.

Additionally, it is essential to consider the underlying motives behind the desire to assist your former spouse. This may be driven by a shift in perspective and an enhanced positivity and openness, or it could be a means of maintaining a cordial relationship with your ex-husband, facilitating more effective handling of matters pertaining to the children or other aspects.

Regardless of the rationale, it is imperative to undertake a comprehensive evaluation of one's thoughts and sentiments and to determine a course of action that aligns with one's self-interest.

In conclusion, it is imperative not to allow past experiences to negatively impact one's self-perception. With the passage of time, individuals undergo growth and transformation, and it is encouraging to note that you have become more compassionate and optimistic, which are commendable qualities.

Should further clarification be required or concerns persist, it may be beneficial to seek the guidance of a professional psychologist or counselor. These individuals can assist in gaining a deeper understanding of one's inner world and provide valuable counsel.

It's not a sign that you're prone to abuse if you helped your ex-husband when he was in trouble. It just shows that you're a kind person. Everyone's inner world and emotions are complex and change over time and with experience.

Maybe you've become more caring because you've experienced something that has made you value and care for others more.

It's normal to feel unsure about yourself. Our self-perception is something that evolves over time and with experience, and it takes time to understand ourselves better.

It might help to pay more attention to your feelings and thoughts, and think about your values and life goals. This can help you understand yourself better.

At the same time, you should also look out for your own interests and emotions. If your ex-husband's borrowing money makes you feel uncomfortable or stressed, you can think about communicating with him honestly or seeking advice and support from others.

It's important to respect your own feelings and needs and not let other people's actions affect your own life and happiness. Open communication with your ex-husband can help you better manage your relationship.

Here are a few suggestions:

1. Pick a good time and place. Find a quiet spot without any distractions, and make sure you have enough time to talk.

2. Be open about your feelings. Let your ex-husband know how you're feeling about him borrowing money. You might be feeling confused, unsatisfied, or worried.

3. Listen to his side of the story: Give your ex-husband a chance to explain why he needed the money and what his situation is. Listen carefully to what he has to say and try to understand his perspective.

4. Set your limits: Make sure your ex-husband knows where you stand and what you're willing to do to help.

5. Propose Solutions: Look for other ways to solve the problem together, like encouraging him to seek help or find another solution.

6. Stay calm and respectful. Stay calm during communication, avoid arguments or accusations, and try to communicate in a calm manner.

7. Pay attention to your feelings. If the communication process makes you feel uncomfortable or if you cannot reach a consensus, respect your feelings and consider taking other measures, such as refusing to lend money or seeking external support.

The main thing is that communication is about finding a solution that works for everyone, while also looking out for your own interests and emotions.

It is understandable that you feel a range of complex emotions when your divorced-my-ex-husband-2-years-ago-and-he-has-a-new-love-interest-i-still-want-to-reconcile-but-what-should-i-do-16013.html" target="_blank">ex-husband asks for help. It is not uncommon for feelings to linger after a divorce, particularly if you have shared many experiences during your time together.

Your willingness to lend him money may indicate that you still have some feelings for him deep down, or that you feel responsible for helping him.

With regard to the issue of being "tended to be abused," I feel this term may be somewhat extreme. It is important to remember that everyone's emotions and reactions are complex and cannot be simply defined by a certain label.

It seems that your willingness to help your ex-husband stems from a complex of emotions and a sense of responsibility, rather than from a desire to seek out abuse or suffering.

You mentioned that you are now more caring and don't hate your body as much as you used to. This is a positive change that I'm sure will be beneficial to you. It shows that you are gradually accepting and loving yourself, which is a good improvement.

It is also possible that this may lead to a greater capacity for tolerance and understanding towards others, including your ex-husband.

It would be wise to consider whether this kind of help is beneficial to you. Borrowing money is a sensitive topic, especially when it involves a former spouse.

It would be wise to ensure that your decisions are based on rational thinking and self-protection, rather than being influenced by past emotions.

If I might make one more suggestion, it would be to pay more attention to your own feelings and needs. You can certainly communicate with your ex-husband to understand his difficulties and needs, as well as clarify your bottom line and principles.

You might also find it helpful to speak with a friend or counselor to better understand and deal with these complicated emotions.

Hello! I'm listening with great interest!

You are an amazingly kind and courageous woman who has let go of the past and forgotten old grudges. I admire your bravery so much!

Follow your heart and use kindness wherever you can!

From your description, I can feel that you have love and hate for your ex-husband. When he encountered difficulties, you were willing to lend a helping hand. This is kindness, this is benevolence, and this is attachment. However, you also feel that he treated you badly before, and you hate him and are unwilling to forgive. This has caused you a lot of conflict. You feel that not lending him money does not conform to your definition of kindness to yourself, but lending him money makes you feel a little resentful. This is an opportunity for you to learn and grow!

It's not his intention, so there's no need for you to be kind to him if he's not kind to you!

Absolutely! You can be unkind to him and treat him in the way he treats you.

It's not your fault! So, why do you keep blaming yourself?

It's possible that in your upbringing, you experienced betrayal or bad treatment by others. But here's the good news: in your impression or education, it is said that you should repay evil with good. And guess what? There's an unfinished sentence: the next sentence is to repay evil with good. So, why not embrace kindness?

Embrace the amazing power of being good to yourself! Look to the inspiring examples of those who overcome challenges.

I hope you can accept that you are selfish in some ways, although this is difficult for you to accept at the moment. You may naturally feel that the word selfish has a negative connotation, but it is just an adjective! How can you use it in a positive way? Well, you can replace the word "knowledge" with another noun, which is self-protection, self-respect, and being good to yourself.

Absolutely nothing is wrong with it!

Don't let anyone moral blackmail you!

The great news is that you have so many choices!

You have the power to choose for yourself at any time. It's so admirable that you choose to be kind to yourself at any time. It's all up to you, and there's nothing wrong with it. We just have to take on the part of the responsibility that adults should bear and face the consequences of our choices. I think this is the one thing that needs to be discussed or considered. But what is your topic?

It's all based on your standards!

Hello. It seems that you got divorced from your husband when you were sick, and after the marriage, he asked you for money, and you were willing to lend it to him. In response, you think you have doubts about yourself and think you have a tendency to be abused. However, after listening to this statement, I don't think you have a tendency to be abused. On the contrary, I think you are kind, tolerant, and sunny.

I admire your willingness to speak your mind, even if it challenges traditional Chinese values.

Some people say that a husband and wife, through fate, are united for a reason. It may take a thousand lifetimes of cultivation to be together in the same boat, or to sleep together in the same bed.

Some people say that a husband and wife for a day are bound by a hundred ties of affection. It could be said that to become husband and wife, in addition to fate, there must also be affection.

When you get married, love is often the primary bond between partners. However, after a divorce, it's not uncommon for family ties and friendships to emerge. Many people believe that divorce leads to animosity between former partners, but this is not always the case. In fact, some couples find themselves becoming close friends after a divorce.

It may be worth noting that your subconscious mind did not resist when he asked you for money, but instead wanted to lend it to him. This could be an indication that you may already consider him a family member or friend.

If I might make a suggestion, it would be to ask him about the real purpose of the loan. If there is a genuine need, you may wish to follow your initial inclination. However, if the money is being borrowed for non-essential purposes, it might be worth giving it some further thought.

As the saying goes, "Love your neighbor as yourself." It is commendable that you have the capacity to remain kind and tolerant.

Hello, I'm Ava, the little whale!

First of all, I admire your willingness to help your ex-husband financially after your divorce. It shows that you are a very caring person. And according to your description, the reason for the divorce is that you got sick and your ex-husband insisted on a divorce, but you are still willing to help him, which shows that you are an open-minded person.

Secondly, I would love to analyze my thinking with you! 1. How is your current physical condition? I'm so happy to hear that you don't hate your body as much as you used to! I'm curious, though: are you feeling guilty towards your ex-husband because you are sick? If you are feeling guilty, it is understandable that you did not refuse your ex-husband's request to borrow money from you. 2. What is your current relationship status? What is your ex-husband's current relationship status? Do you still have feelings for your ex-husband? Do you hope to get back married? Do you have any children? Assuming that he has a new family now, would you still be willing to lend him money if he asks you to? 3. Your ex-husband asks you to borrow money whenever he is in trouble. Does he repay you after borrowing? What is his reason for borrowing money? Is he really in trouble when he asks you to borrow money, or is it an excuse to contact you? Does he ask you to borrow money whenever he is in trouble because he is not motivated, or does he have problems with his interpersonal relationships and no one is willing to lend him money, or is he just taking advantage of you? 4.

Have you accepted your body? Absolutely! Has your illness affected your life and work? Of course not! The person who is sick usually feels the most miserable. But psychological factors can also affect physical health. Therefore, if there is nothing

I've got some great advice for you! 1. Love yourself, even if others don't like it. Who cares what they think? You've got to love yourself first! 2. Protect yourself, whether it's your physical safety or your property. As the saying goes, it's better to help a poor person in an emergency than to help a rich one. If someone keeps asking others for money, there must be something wrong with him. You don't owe anyone a thing! Although there was affection in the past, you are no longer obliged to help him now. If you don't want to, you can just refuse. What if he doesn't pay you back? Then you will lose both money and affection. Having compassion is not a bad thing, but compassion should not be taken advantage of by others.

I really hope my answer is helpful to you!

Hi there, I hope you're well. I just wanted to say that I think the highest good is like water. How are you doing?

As the name suggests, you want to be kind and caring, so when your ex-husband asked you for a loan, you were willing to give it to him. You have always held yourself to a very high moral standard, not just with your ex-husband, but perhaps with many people around you. You think you might have a "masochistic tendency." You might be suppressing a lot of grievances and resentment. Let's look into it and understand what is going on with you.

What's the issue here?

"My ex-husband asks for money whenever he's in trouble." It sounds like he's asked you for money more than once. Based on practical considerations, you may have lent him the money or not. But deep down, you're willing to lend him the money, which makes you feel confused and puzzled. You start to examine your own thoughts.

"I'm willing to give" and "Do I have a tendency to be abused?" These two opposing thoughts are causing your inner conflict.

[Surprised that you're still willing to give]

This is your moral standard based on the superego, your consistent code of conduct. The stronger the superego, the more the ego is suppressed. When your self mediates the conflict between the ego and the superego, you will side with the superego and suppress the ego. For example, when you were sick, your ex-husband insisted on divorcing you. The ego hated your ex-husband, but the superego couldn't accept the emotion of hate. Instead, it empathized with your ex-husband's rationality in proposing the divorce, so that you understood your ex-husband and couldn't hate him.

[Wondering if you're prone to abuse]

This is your mind (consciousness) receiving the signal that "whether or not there is a tendency to be abused" is a processed inner voice. The voice in your subconscious mind is "you are abusing yourself by lending him money." But you often can't hear it, because the "ego" always sides with the "superego" and even directly judges the "id" as selfish and bad. This means you've always hated this voice, just as you hated your body in the past.

Your ego hasn't resolved the conflict between the id and the superego, and has always let the superego mistreat the id.

[Love others as you love yourself.]

The way we treat others is usually a reflection of how we treat ourselves. You said that you are "more caring now, and you weren't before," and I think you have already started to love yourself.

You've made some changes. You're aware of your needs, you've accepted your body, you've learned how to care for yourself, and you're learning to distinguish between self-love and selfishness. You're becoming more accepting of yourself, appreciating yourself, and accepting yourself.

I hope this is helpful.

I'm your neighbor, Potato Man, who has grown up with you. Thanks for your attention.

Dear Sir/Madam, I am honored to answer your question and hope that my response will be of assistance to you.

[Behavior is goal-oriented, and self-belief is a prerequisite for attaining one's desired outcome.]

The act of "lending money to your ex-husband" has its own underlying motivations and purposes. Frequently, these are not readily apparent at the conscious level. If feasible, it would be beneficial to take a moment to breathe deeply and listen to the guidance of one's inner wisdom.

One might inquire as to the nature of the thoughts and feelings that could result from providing financial assistance to one's former spouse, and which needs might be fulfilled. To illustrate,

The subject may experience a range of emotions, including feelings of peace, calm, relaxation, nervousness, depression, or distress.

Thoughts: I am capable/I am needed/I am the best choice/Life is good/Other people are trustworthy/I am worthwhile unless I please others/I am worthwhile and I don't need to please others/I am worthwhile even if I do nothing and reject others... (one or more of these)

Inner Needs: The individual may express a desire for recognition, companionship, friendship, affirmation, support, equality, or dignity.

Upon identifying one's needs, it becomes evident that there are multiple potential pathways.

For example, if the need for support and affirmation is identified, alternative avenues for expenditure may include the establishment of one's own business or occupation, personal health and wellbeing, or the creation of a future family unit.

Once an individual becomes aware of their needs and goals, they are presented with a greater range of options.

The notion of "tendency to be abused" is an external judgement, rather than an intrinsic quality. It is therefore imperative not to allow such a judgement to impinge upon one's autonomy.

One must follow their heart completely. Now, what is your opinion on lending money to your former spouse?

[Measuring the health of a relationship]

A healthy relationship is characterized by three fundamental elements: respect, giving, and receiving.

When our contribution is sufficient to meet our own needs and is also valued by the other person and the questioner is respected,

One may then choose to disregard external judgments and expectations.

Conversely, if the relationship does not adhere to the principles of respect, reciprocity, and mutuality, it may be indicative of an unhealthy dynamic.

Ultimately, the answer lies within the individual.

[Regarding boundaries, individuals may have disparate perceptions of safe distances from one another.]

The questioner is currently divorced from her former spouse, and it would be interesting to ascertain her future plans.

"My former spouse frequently requests loans to address financial challenges." What are the intended uses of these funds? Are they earmarked for personal or future endeavors, or are they being utilized for the benefit of another individual?

It is unclear whether the questioner will persist in extending financial assistance to the other individual.

It is often observed that even those in positions of authority and trust, such as honest officials, may find it challenging to resolve disputes and administer justice within their own families. Consequently, it is often suggested that it is more expedient to provide assistance in times of emergency than to offer support to those who are genuinely in need.

It may be beneficial for the questioner to prioritize the creation of their ideal life. Once the three essential elements of one's life—who, where, and what—have been identified,

In accordance with the principle of personal responsibility, one is then at liberty to determine whether or not to extend assistance to others. This decision-making process is likely to foster greater personal accountability and respect for others.

It is possible that lending money is not the most effective means of assisting others. Alternatively, influencing others by acting as a positive role model may also lead to a beneficial outcome for oneself, and potentially even for others.

The individual possesses the inherent right to control their own life. It is therefore imperative to have confidence in oneself, as leading the life one desires is always worthwhile.

This is the extent of my contribution to the discussion. I wish you well. I love the world and you all.