I'm slowly going crazy with the endless repetition and the malicious family...

Hello, child!

From your description, it's clear that your environment is oppressive. You're not feeling well, and your family isn't providing the care you need. Repeating a year is stressful, and your family's nagging has made it worse.

Let's start with a hug. It's tough, but we'll get through it together.

You said you missed 10 points from entering your ideal school, but your score was good enough to get into a good university. You chose to repeat the year, which shows you have dreams, goals, and aspirations. I applaud you for that.

However, regarding this repeat of the exam, it is clear that you feel the ill will of your parents and brother. This ill will is likely largely due to "money," so they use the word "prodigal" to attack you.

Your father asked your mother to supervise you and then report back to him on the results. It seems that your mother's report to your father is still reporting the good news and not the bad news. This makes you feel like you failed the exam twice: first, by not doing well, and then by letting your mother down.

Your brother has a high level of education, and your mother has asked him to keep an eye on you. Your brother is also strange. Instead of helping you, he is fanning the flames and making things worse.

They know you have depression, but they don't understand it. Depression is a very common disease, but because of the backwardness of our country and the lack of publicity and popular science about this disease, everyone is embarrassed to talk about it or feels ashamed and thinks it is just being hypocritical and imagining things. They don't know that this disease is very painful. You happen to live in such a family environment, which is very sympathetic. I hug you again. Here are some suggestions I have for you, and I know they will be helpful:

1. You say that your brother has a high level of education, but from the description it seems that his quality is not very high, and the whole family knows very little about depression. I don't know if you are seeing a psychologist or doing counseling. If so, you should tell your family what to do through the counselor. The care and love of family members for people with depression is very important. Their tolerance and encouragement give you more confidence than any medicine. You should talk to them through the counselor.

2. If there is no counselor, you must communicate with your family. Tell them your thoughts and how hard it is for you. Tell them what you hope they will do. Put some books about depression on the table so that they can understand what depression is. If there is no way to communicate face-to-face, you can also try writing letters. Say what you want to say. Try your best. If your parents understand, it will be good.

Say it out loud. It will make you feel better.

3. Your parents will probably still say you're being pretentious because it's difficult for them to change their minds. Don't let it bother you. Just regulate your emotions, accept their words, block them out, and tell yourself they're wrong and don't have any positive meaning for you. Don't let them influence you.

4. If you are haunted by these negative words, they will affect your revision and even your body. So in addition to the above ways to distance yourself, you must also do the following things actively to help you adjust your mood: run, walk, climb mountains, listen to music, eat chocolate, dried fruit, fruit, etc. If you don't feel well, put on your headphones, listen to music, go outside and take a run, and you will find that your mood will improve a lot.

5. It's great that you have an ideal target school in mind, but don't be too obsessed with it. You can have a few backup plans, so that you will feel more relaxed. Many things are just in case. If we don't get into this school for various reasons this time, we must have other favorite schools as backups. Otherwise, you'll be putting too much pressure on yourself, and that's not good for your health.

6. Most universities require students to live on campus, so the countdown is not a few months until you can leave this negative-energy-filled family. Make a countdown and post it on your desk. This will give you motivation to look at it every day and silently repeat, "So-and-so school, I'm coming, this annoying family, I'm leaving!"

Life is your own. You don't have the financial means to do anything yet, so you have no choice but to listen to your parents. Eliminate these distractions, spend your energy on your studies, get into college, gain the ability to work for yourself and become independent, and then you can leave your parents far behind and create your own value in life. All this boring, unproductive nagging will just blow away in the wind. You can do it!