Hug! You have really been through a lot, and you've come through it all like a champ!
Let's dive right in and go through your story together!
In elementary school, I was bad at sports but good at my studies, which meant I was ridiculed by everyone.
and so you transferred schools twice!
2. Teacher L has repeatedly humiliated you in public, but you're ready to take on the world!
3. You base all your sense of security on your grades, and it's a great feeling!
4. Before the high school graduation break, you attended a meeting where you were told something really inspiring: "We don't have inferiority complexes or anxiety problems. We're healthier than that."
5. All kinds of unfair encounters and blows have made you feel a sense of self-doubt about the wrong trajectory of your life. But you're ready to turn it all around!
6. You're ready to take on these challenges before the college entrance exam! You're excited to find out if you should talk to L and how you can resolve everything.
After reading your story, I am so inspired by your resilience! You have had a hard time, but you are so powerful.
This teacher treats you like this, but your writing calmly recounts objective facts without cursing or swearing at him.
This shows that you are a kind and soft-hearted child at heart, which is so wonderful to see!
You have been treated unfairly, but you haven't let it get to you! You even ask if you should talk to this teacher, and you still have a basic trust in humanity.
Senior year is an amazing opportunity for growth and healing. After so many years and so much pain, you are still actively looking for ways to heal your inner wounds and regain your strength.
You don't give up just because things are difficult. Inside you, you are very tough, and you know it!
These qualities and inner strength are a light!
At the same time, these experiences from childhood and adolescence have made you obsessed with becoming good and maintaining outstanding grades. It's as if, despite what L thinks, as long as your grades are still outstanding, you can confidently tell yourself and others: "No, what he said is not true. I'm good, and I'm proud of it!"
I'm good!
So you need your grades to prove that you are good and that you deserve to be loved!
However, in your third year of high school, you are particularly eager to excel because of the challenging academic workload and the intense competitive pressure. If my grades are not as high as I'd hoped, does that mean I still have room to grow and improve?
I don't want to be like that, and I can't be like that. I have to do well in school, and I'm going to prove that L was wrong!
So, you put a lot of pressure on yourself and are anxious and restless.
But you can do it!
Hug you! You really make people feel sad.
Because the negative voices in the outside world are so loud and persistent, the inner me also somewhat distrusts itself and feels inferior. But there is another voice inside saying, "No, that's not true. I have done some things well, and I'm not bad at all."
But there is another voice inside saying, "No way! I have done some things well, and I'm not bad at all."
To maintain this part, we become anxious. And that's okay! It's all part of the journey.
Low self-esteem and anxiety are inseparable twins, and we can conquer them together!
This internal tug-of-war is bound to make our emotions fluctuate, draining our energy and vitality. But here's the good news: we can win this battle!
So, what can we do?
Now, let's dive into the world of evaluation! This fascinating topic is divided into two main categories: evaluation by others and self-evaluation.
If someone outside us is so critical, just think of all the amazing people in our lives who support us and believe in us!
Absolutely! We can definitely find some affirmation and recognition for ourselves from our loved ones and friends.
*After experiencing so many things, there is still an inexhaustible force within you. So, as you grew up, who warmed you, affirmed you, illuminated you, and gave you strength?
*Relive these people and events in specific and detailed detail, and tell yourself: "Some people say I'm no good, but more people think I'm pretty good."
Write a success list and watch your confidence soar!
On paper, list anything from your childhood and adolescence that makes you feel proud and happy! This could be anything from helping someone, which shows your kind and gentle side, to persisting with a hobby, which shows you are a resilient person, to passing an exam after practising, which shows you are clever and resourceful.
The more, the better! The more detailed, the better!
You can recall the past, and you can start writing down what you have done every day from now on!
For example, today I did five sets of exercises and got a great score! I'm absolutely amazing!
*Make a list of all your amazing strengths and all the things you love doing!
My handwriting is absolutely amazing! I have the best smile. I have incredible taste in clothes and always dress in a very stylish way.
I was praised! I'm very patient. I didn't give up on the last topic, even though I was thinking about it for half an hour.
I'm not short! And I don't have a hunchback!
I'm so lucky not to be far-sighted! And my fingers are quite pretty, too!
I have long legs, and I pay special attention in class!
I have several amazing friends to chat with!
It's sunny today, and I'm absolutely thrilled! I saw a kitten today, and I just know it's going to be a lucky day!
Guess what! I saw a tree with the prettiest leaves today. And the sun was shining on me, making it feel so warm and wonderful!
Guess what? I drank milk tea today!
Every day, I make a point of noticing the little joys in life, celebrating my own little strengths, and celebrating my own small successes!
In this way, little by little, every day I will feel that today has been an amazing day. Today I have done some great things!
In this way, you can find inner peace and tranquility by improving your acceptance of yourself. Then, you can focus your attention on your studies!
Now for the best part!
Low self-esteem means feeling bad about oneself. But there's so much more to it than that!
Anxiety is a fear of being bad. But we can beat it!
Ultimately, it's all about embracing ourselves!
Then, let's do the proof problem again! Let's collect evidence to prove that we are good.
Find the good things about yourself, pay attention to them, amplify them, and stay with this part of yourself continuously. Then, amazingly, our perception of time will be much more pleasant and relaxed!
With this state of mind, facing the college entrance exam, no matter the result, there will probably be no more regrets!
We are so good! We are the best us that we can be. We have worked so hard and done everything we could. So, we can be proud of ourselves and be happy with the result!
We get to define who we are!
Other people, no matter how much they say, are all bullshit—and that's a good thing!
I really hope my answer has been of some help to you!
Comments
I can relate to feeling like your whole world revolves around grades. It's hard when you feel everyone expects so much from you, and it seems like one slipup could ruin everything. Facing Teacher L might be a step towards resolving past issues. Perhaps talking to her could help clear the air.
It sounds incredibly tough to have gone through all that criticism and mockery. Maybe focusing on what you enjoy and excelling in those areas can rebuild your confidence. Reaching out to someone who understands or a counselor might also offer some support.
Your experiences are deeply painful, and it's valid to feel the way you do. Before deciding to talk to Teacher L, consider how a conversation might affect you. Is there a possibility it could provide closure, or would it open old wounds? Sometimes writing a letter, even if you don't send it, can help process these feelings.
It's heartbreaking to hear about the insults and the impact they've had on you. You deserve respect and understanding. As exams approach, try setting small, manageable goals for yourself instead of aiming for perfection. This can take some pressure off and help you see progress.
You've faced a lot of challenges, yet you've managed to find interests beyond academics. That's a strength. For the upcoming exams, perhaps focus on strategies that reduce stress, such as mindfulness or relaxation techniques. Remember, your worth isn't defined by your grades alone.