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In senior high school, safety and security are based on academic achievements, how to confront past psychological traumas?

1. exam anxiety 2. grade reliance 3. teacher criticism 4. emotional regression 5. inferiority complex
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In senior high school, safety and security are based on academic achievements, how to confront past psychological traumas? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

Following on from the previous article "Facing the exam with a calm mind", the afternoon of the question session I regressed severely, crying and slapping myself on the face on the school grounds. Now I'll get to the root of the problem: my experience has made me base all my sense of security on my grades.

I want to know how to deal with the situation cost-effectively as the college entrance exam approaches, and whether I should have a face-to-face conversation with this teacher (referred to as L).

In elementary school, I was mocked by everyone for being good at sports but bad at grades, and I had to change schools twice. In the fifth and sixth grades, the following happened: 1. Teacher L singled me out for criticism whenever I made a mistake in any part of my homework, and it was obvious that she was targeting me; 2. I did poorly on a test in the fifth grade, and Teacher L and some of the other students kept bringing it up. In the sixth grade, I was always first in every test, which made me firmly believe that everyone would laugh at me if I didn't do well; 3. Teacher L was fatter than I was, but she called me a dead pig and a fat pig several times in class.

I have a wide range of interests, but after junior high school, I developed the idea that I was worthless except for my grades. The efforts I made for the physical education exam in the third year of junior high school (just the pursuit of passing) were all in vain.

In my third year of high school (before I dropped out), at a Tsinghua University exchange meeting, I asked "how to deal with inferiority complexes and anxiety," and they replied, "we don't have those problems, we're healthier." This made me think that I was abnormal, and repeatedly gave me the idea that the trajectory of my life was completely wrong.

Ryan Garcia Ryan Garcia A total of 8208 people have been helped

It is understandable that you still feel a bit weighed down by the experiences you have had. The words and actions of one of your teachers have caused you anxiety/how-to-reduce-emotional-distress-at-work-4642.html" target="_blank">distress and made you feel uneasy, which has led to feelings of insecurity. The things she said have caused you pain, which is really heartbreaking.

If it is possible for you, it might be helpful to let it all out. This could help you to clear up the things you have experienced. You might like to try writing them down in your diary. This could include past traumas, including crying on campus, slapping yourself, and being targeted and criticized by name.

It might be helpful to consider that, although it has been a long time since those events happened, you still remember them very clearly. This could be an indication that some of your less-than-positive past memories have had a significant impact on your inner self.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider that the idea of "the only test score is king" may still be affecting you. It's understandable that you might feel uncomfortable when others mention your poor performance on an exam.

Even if one of your teachers were to ridicule you in front of the whole class, making you feel uncomfortable inside and experience what true isolation and disrespect is like, and the condescending attitude of your classmates at the Tsinghua University exchange meeting were also quite offensive.

It's important to remember that low self-esteem and anxiety are normal emotions that anyone can experience. Whether you're from Tsinghua University, Peking University, or Yale University in New York, these are all feelings that many of us have experienced at one point or another. It's not easy to accept our emotions, but it's an important part of healing. I suggest you consider seeking psychological counseling.

Could I ask you a question, ZQ?

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Spencer Spencer A total of 2377 people have been helped

Dear question author, I empathize with your situation and want to reassure you that you are not alone.

1.

In consideration of the high school experience, I reflect on the three challenging years I endured. The overwhelming pressure led me to feel overwhelmed and detached from my own life. Fortunately, maintaining a diary provided a form of catharsis. I believe you will find your own way to cope. Academic life is not without its difficulties. On the one hand, we face the pressure of learning, and on the other, we have to navigate the pressure of public opinion from teachers, parents, and even neighbors. It can feel as if we've reached a dead end. When faced with adversity, it's crucial to recognize that self-harm is not the solution.

One might inquire whether there are any inherent flaws in the human body. It is distressing to observe individuals engaging in self-harm, such as shouting and slapping themselves. Such actions can be perceived as a manifestation of depression.

If you have the opportunity, I would encourage you to read (The Body Knows the Answer). If not, I would suggest listening to it.

In the year preceding the college entrance examination, individuals tend to be more critical of themselves, questioning their abilities and capabilities. They may also experience feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt, questioning their own abilities and wondering why they are not as good as they imagined.

It is challenging to forgive oneself in the face of such a formidable obstacle as the college entrance exam, which can be likened to a high mountain blocking one's heart. The content of high school studies is inherently difficult and extensive, and it is evident that not everyone can readily overcome this significant challenge. In such circumstances, self-doubt can only exacerbate the situation.

3.

If an unremarkable academic record makes the prospect of life seem uninspiring, it is understandable that many would choose the more conventional route. It is reassuring to know that even if one does not excel in school, there are still options available, such as vocational schools. It is also worth noting that there is no single, universally-recognized standard of excellence in higher education. If you have the time, I would encourage you to read or listen to the book "The Power of Self-Growth." It offers valuable insights on personal growth and can help readers re-evaluate their perspectives.

4.

The response indicated that the question regarding the overcoming of inferiority at the meeting was answered with a generalization, suggesting that all forms of health are inherently untenable. Social development is occurring at a rapid pace, and in the context of the fast food era, the pressure is intensifying. This raises the question of how everyone can achieve mental health in such a fast-paced environment.

You are correct in your assessment, and your inquiry is quite astute. It is imperative not to succumb to self-doubt.

5.

The title of elementary school teacher has caused you psychological trauma. Some people have low quality, and engaging in debate with such individuals will likely result in a loss of confidence. Andy Lau has also been criticized for his poor singing, but this has not affected his achievements in the music industry. Instead, he has invited the person who criticized him to attend his concerts, transforming the attack into praise.

6.

Awareness represents the initial stage of change. It is recommended that individuals engage in psychotherapy or counseling when feasible, or alternatively, simply allow themselves to unwind through passive entertainment, such as the popular TV series "Psych," which has been known to facilitate healing. This approach has proven effective for numerous individuals.

7.

Trauma can be conceptualized as a split between consciousness and the body. The key to healing lies in reuniting consciousness and the body and regaining a sense of control over the body. The development of hobbies such as tai chi, mindfulness, yoga, African dance, and martial arts that combine breathing and meditation may facilitate this process.

It is imperative to address the psychological trauma first, as it is never too late to move forward. In the modern age of information, there are numerous opportunities at one's disposal. However, to capitalize on these opportunities, one must be discerning and possess the resilience to persevere. Only then can one truly live in accordance with one's authentic self.

8.

It is important to maintain connections with others. It is beneficial to allocate time reasonably between learning and socializing. Volunteering can also enhance self-confidence and provide a sense of value.

I extend my sincerest congratulations on your success. It is my hope that the information I have shared has been both helpful and inspiring.

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Hazel Fernandez Hazel Fernandez A total of 34 people have been helped

Hello, question asker!

Your two questions made me realize how much the exam affected you. As an adult, it's unacceptable to lose control of yourself like that. Crying on campus and slapping yourself is childish and unprofessional.

You know what? I have this thought now: you are so lucky to have made up your mind to study and be able to do so well. What if someone who has gone through the same as you tries their best to study but still fails to improve their grades?

What if they still can't improve their grades? They live their lives just fine.

You're in your third year of high school and you're still a great student. You know there are people in trouble and struggling, but they've found their way out of the darkness.

I said all of the above because I want you to understand that you are already really good. You are in the top grades, aiming for Qinghua and Peking University. With results like yours, you will definitely outperform many people in the college entrance exam, even if there have been mistakes that you won't tolerate. How enviable is that? With such good results, you can feel secure. You know that only Qinghua and Peking University are universities.

You said that only by getting first place in the exam would you not be ridiculed. I believe that may be the reason for competing for first place that has made you aim for Qinghua and Peking University today. If you don't get into Qinghua or Peking University, you will feel like you've failed. At that time, you were in elementary school, and you were still young and didn't have the strength to protect yourself. But now, after more than ten years of study, you're already in your third year of high school and have become an adult. You already have the strength, and you no longer need to prove yourself so much with your grades to protect your sense of security.

I also noticed one thing. You said that before they dropped out of school, they were in their third year of high school. When you asked students from Peking University about how to face inferiority and anxiety, the answer you got from that university student was that they were very healthy and didn't have problems in that area. You immediately thought that you were abnormal. I think you have also studied politics and dialectical thinking. We have to look at this problem dialectically. It's not because they took the exam and got into Tsinghua University that they are mentally healthy, and we are not, so we are not as healthy as they are. This inference does not hold up!

As the saying goes, "Old scars forget the pain." They have already entered university, and the state they were in during the college entrance exam will also fade into the background. I am certain that as long as they get through this time, they will gradually calm down in the future.

You also mentioned how you're going to get through the next few months. I'd like to share my views based on my personal experience!

First, I noted that you stated this in the last question in parentheses, regardless of the result. I observed your carefulness. In this question and the previous one, you must indicate it and explain it in parentheses. I also discerned from this detail why your learning is excellent.

You said "cut, regardless of the result" last time, and I think you probably thought this subconsciously, but you haven't allowed it to rise to the conscious level. You need to decide whether you have to silently repeat these words every day.

It doesn't matter what the result is.

It doesn't matter what the result is.

Second, we are going to review your mistakes in every exam, regardless of the results. We know that exam mistakes are the areas we need to pay attention to in the future because we have had advance training. In the future, we will learn from our mistakes and see if it is a matter of mentality, a matter of knowledge points, or a matter of what we have not learned. In short, it is to check for leaks and fill in the gaps. Since it is cutting regardless of the results, if we make a mistake, we just need to pay attention in the future. In this way, we should strengthen ourselves.

Second, under the idea of "no matter the result," if you say that you should look at it again, you should go and talk to that teacher. Since we can have the idea of "no matter the result" for the exam, we don't need to dwell on those past things.

It's been 78 years. You haven't worked yet. You don't know what the future holds. You might have a family to support. They might be in a bad mood. They might have psychological problems. We can't pay for their mistakes. We can't let past events define us. We can't let them dictate our future. We have to move on.

Let them all disappear into the long river of history.

I want to be clear: no matter what the result, you must put this on your agenda and make it your motto. You thought up the method, and you're most comfortable using it. I had this idea here, or you can cut with this, no matter what the result. Write your own experience and see why you wrote this in brackets at the time, no matter what the result.

I want you to pay attention to these words in the future. I want you to come up with solutions in the future.

You must value it. I really hope to see you write about this experience.

The great psychologist Carl Jung said that living one's life to the fullest is the most difficult thing to do. He also said that only by living one's life to the fullest can one save oneself. You've figured this out yourself. Put this idea of yours into practice. You will live your life to the fullest. You will make these months not just months of enduring hardship, but months of living your life to the fullest.

You will live your life to the fullest, go to the university of your dreams, and the world will love you!

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Eudora Eudora A total of 3425 people have been helped

Dear question asker,

After carefully reading your description, I would like to offer you some encouragement. It is understandable that facing the pressure of the college entrance examination can lead to feelings of anxiety or self-doubt.

*

It would be interesting to consider why senior high school students are most prone to emotional problems. Could it be that in an air-tight learning environment where grades are the only indicator of our worth, it is difficult to have a sense of value and experience from other sources? This could result in a lack of outlet for our inner identity, which might eventually lead to depression and suffering.

*

The college entrance exam is challenging enough without adding stress to our mental state. In light of your situation, I hope you will find the following views and feelings helpful to consider.

1. With regard to the question of whether to interview teacher L,

I would like to suggest that you have a more in-depth conversation with him. Since you have already found the root cause of the reason for the incident, you may have many questions you would like to ask him face-to-face. Perhaps you could ask him for his honest evaluation and share with him the impact you have suffered as a result.

If you don't do this, you may find it challenging to resolve some of the underlying issues and take the next step in making a change. Instead of speculating about other people's motives, it might be helpful to have a conversation with them. Being open and honest about your thoughts at the time, understanding their perspective, identifying the underlying reasons for their comments, and objectively analyzing the situation could be beneficial.

2. Could you please share your thoughts on how you view other people's comments?

I can appreciate your feelings of a lack of self-identity, as the human brain is not naturally equipped with the ability to identify itself. Our understanding of who we are is shaped by the external world and the way in which others perceive and interact with us. This process is often described by social scientists as "mirroring."

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider that the way others perceive us may shape our perception of ourselves.

As we grow and develop, the way others perceive us can influence our own perception of ourselves.

However, it is important to remember that other people's opinions are not always complete, accurate, or aligned with our own. What someone may perceive as good, for instance, might not necessarily align with our personal values, and what they view as bad could be seen as something else by another individual.

Moreover, there are instances when we may misinterpret the information we receive from others, leading us to form deeply rooted ideas that may not align with the truth.

It would be wise to consider that the opinions of others may not always align with our own. Learning to analyze and judge these opinions, and discerning between truth and falsehood, can help us maintain a healthy perspective. It's important to remember that we don't have to let other people's words control our lives.

3. How might we approach the subject of low self-esteem and anxiety?

Anxiety is a common negative emotion in modern society. It is similar to fear in that it triggers our stress response when faced with a threat, allowing us to adopt rational strategies in dangerous situations, survive, and grow further.

It would be remiss of me not to mention that negative emotions are not necessarily a bad thing. They can, after all, play an important role in our lives, helping us to perceive the world around us.

It is possible to recognize, accept, and understand negative emotions in depth. This may be easier than you think, and the key may be whether or not you want to change your previous patterns. It is important to be careful not to dismiss or suppress negative emotions too forcefully, as this can cause rebound effects and potentially lead to more serious internal damage.

It could be said that negative emotions are often the result of the wounded child within us being activated. This can happen when we are triggered into feeling negative emotions, which can be a way of attracting our attention.

I hope you can find it within yourself to accept it, to treat it as a normal physiological reaction, and to learn to recognize it, understand it, and accept it.

4. Could I perhaps suggest a way to help you to overcome your inferiority complex and anxiety?

It might be helpful to try the mirroring exercise when you feel inferiority and anxiety.

If you would be so kind, please stand in front of a mirror where you can see your whole body. Take a kind, friendly, and concerned attitude towards the person you see in the mirror.

Consider offering a kind compliment to the person in the mirror. You might say something positive about an aspect of your appearance, your character, your achievements, or something else. It's also helpful to cultivate positive thoughts. If a negative thought arises, try to find a positive thought to counter it.

It would be beneficial to be fair to your strengths and weaknesses. Perhaps you could accept yourself as you accept someone you love, experience these feelings and thoughts, keep them in mind over the long term, activate them when you are anxious, and try not to let the vulnerable parts of yourself take over.

I would like to add that the college entrance exam is just one experience in our lives, and the results are only a measure of this experience. While they may not completely determine our future lives, the inner strength we show while experiencing it can help us withstand the future's uncertainties. So, it might be helpful to accept the exam, break through any challenges, and be grateful for the experience.

My name is Cici Ai Cheng, and I'm an 80s passerby who has found some benefit from psychological healing. I hope that what I share can be of some help to you!

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Riley Samson Williams Riley Samson Williams A total of 8893 people have been helped

Hug! You have really been through a lot, and you've come through it all like a champ!

Let's dive right in and go through your story together!

In elementary school, I was bad at sports but good at my studies, which meant I was ridiculed by everyone.

and so you transferred schools twice!

2. Teacher L has repeatedly humiliated you in public, but you're ready to take on the world!

3. You base all your sense of security on your grades, and it's a great feeling!

4. Before the high school graduation break, you attended a meeting where you were told something really inspiring: "We don't have inferiority complexes or anxiety problems. We're healthier than that."

5. All kinds of unfair encounters and blows have made you feel a sense of self-doubt about the wrong trajectory of your life. But you're ready to turn it all around!

6. You're ready to take on these challenges before the college entrance exam! You're excited to find out if you should talk to L and how you can resolve everything.

After reading your story, I am so inspired by your resilience! You have had a hard time, but you are so powerful.

This teacher treats you like this, but your writing calmly recounts objective facts without cursing or swearing at him.

This shows that you are a kind and soft-hearted child at heart, which is so wonderful to see!

You have been treated unfairly, but you haven't let it get to you! You even ask if you should talk to this teacher, and you still have a basic trust in humanity.

Senior year is an amazing opportunity for growth and healing. After so many years and so much pain, you are still actively looking for ways to heal your inner wounds and regain your strength.

You don't give up just because things are difficult. Inside you, you are very tough, and you know it!

These qualities and inner strength are a light!

At the same time, these experiences from childhood and adolescence have made you obsessed with becoming good and maintaining outstanding grades. It's as if, despite what L thinks, as long as your grades are still outstanding, you can confidently tell yourself and others: "No, what he said is not true. I'm good, and I'm proud of it!"

I'm good!

So you need your grades to prove that you are good and that you deserve to be loved!

However, in your third year of high school, you are particularly eager to excel because of the challenging academic workload and the intense competitive pressure. If my grades are not as high as I'd hoped, does that mean I still have room to grow and improve?

I don't want to be like that, and I can't be like that. I have to do well in school, and I'm going to prove that L was wrong!

So, you put a lot of pressure on yourself and are anxious and restless. But you can do it!

Hug you! You really make people feel sad.

Because the negative voices in the outside world are so loud and persistent, the inner me also somewhat distrusts itself and feels inferior. But there is another voice inside saying, "No, that's not true. I have done some things well, and I'm not bad at all."

But there is another voice inside saying, "No way! I have done some things well, and I'm not bad at all."

To maintain this part, we become anxious. And that's okay! It's all part of the journey.

Low self-esteem and anxiety are inseparable twins, and we can conquer them together!

This internal tug-of-war is bound to make our emotions fluctuate, draining our energy and vitality. But here's the good news: we can win this battle!

So, what can we do?

Now, let's dive into the world of evaluation! This fascinating topic is divided into two main categories: evaluation by others and self-evaluation.

If someone outside us is so critical, just think of all the amazing people in our lives who support us and believe in us!

Absolutely! We can definitely find some affirmation and recognition for ourselves from our loved ones and friends.

*After experiencing so many things, there is still an inexhaustible force within you. So, as you grew up, who warmed you, affirmed you, illuminated you, and gave you strength?

*Relive these people and events in specific and detailed detail, and tell yourself: "Some people say I'm no good, but more people think I'm pretty good."

Write a success list and watch your confidence soar!

On paper, list anything from your childhood and adolescence that makes you feel proud and happy! This could be anything from helping someone, which shows your kind and gentle side, to persisting with a hobby, which shows you are a resilient person, to passing an exam after practising, which shows you are clever and resourceful.

The more, the better! The more detailed, the better!

You can recall the past, and you can start writing down what you have done every day from now on!

For example, today I did five sets of exercises and got a great score! I'm absolutely amazing!

*Make a list of all your amazing strengths and all the things you love doing!

My handwriting is absolutely amazing! I have the best smile. I have incredible taste in clothes and always dress in a very stylish way.

I was praised! I'm very patient. I didn't give up on the last topic, even though I was thinking about it for half an hour.

I'm not short! And I don't have a hunchback!

I'm so lucky not to be far-sighted! And my fingers are quite pretty, too!

I have long legs, and I pay special attention in class!

I have several amazing friends to chat with!

It's sunny today, and I'm absolutely thrilled! I saw a kitten today, and I just know it's going to be a lucky day!

Guess what! I saw a tree with the prettiest leaves today. And the sun was shining on me, making it feel so warm and wonderful!

Guess what? I drank milk tea today!

Every day, I make a point of noticing the little joys in life, celebrating my own little strengths, and celebrating my own small successes!

In this way, little by little, every day I will feel that today has been an amazing day. Today I have done some great things!

In this way, you can find inner peace and tranquility by improving your acceptance of yourself. Then, you can focus your attention on your studies!

Now for the best part!

Low self-esteem means feeling bad about oneself. But there's so much more to it than that!

Anxiety is a fear of being bad. But we can beat it!

Ultimately, it's all about embracing ourselves!

Then, let's do the proof problem again! Let's collect evidence to prove that we are good.

Find the good things about yourself, pay attention to them, amplify them, and stay with this part of yourself continuously. Then, amazingly, our perception of time will be much more pleasant and relaxed!

With this state of mind, facing the college entrance exam, no matter the result, there will probably be no more regrets!

We are so good! We are the best us that we can be. We have worked so hard and done everything we could. So, we can be proud of ourselves and be happy with the result!

We get to define who we are!

Other people, no matter how much they say, are all bullshit—and that's a good thing!

I really hope my answer has been of some help to you!

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Indiana Indiana A total of 229 people have been helped

Hello!

Host:

After reading the post, I could feel the anxiety of the poster and his own attacks on himself in the content. But I also noticed something amazing! The poster bravely faced his own thoughts and actively sought help on the platform. This helped the poster better understand and recognize himself, thereby adjusting his understanding of himself and constructing his own internal evaluation.

Now, I'm thrilled to share my observations and thoughts in this post, which I truly believe will help the original poster gain a deeper understanding and appreciation of themselves.

1. And guess what? Sometimes, the majority can be wrong!

After reading the post, I can feel how difficult it was for the poster, and I also feel that the poster himself has a lot of energy. It's so inspiring to see how he's kept going!

He has also been doing his best to become a better person, so give yourself a big hug for being so strong! After reading the original poster's story, it also reminded me of another story that I'm excited to share with you.

In this story, a young boy's way of thinking was delightfully peculiar when writing essays. Many classmates and teachers said he was stupid because they didn't understand. So, after a period of time, he also began to believe that he was stupid.

Later, he transferred to a new school and met a new teacher. This teacher was different. Instead of saying he was stupid, the teacher saw his composition and said his thinking was very peculiar. This teacher was accepting and inclusive.

He began to have the idea of proving or seeing for himself whether he was stupid or not. And guess what? Later, his grades were always very good, and he even got into a top 20 university in the United States!

This story really opened my eyes to the fact that we can learn so much from others, even if their opinions aren't always objective or right. It's all about thinking critically about what they say and whether the standards they set are reasonable.

2. Take a look at your own growth experience from an objective perspective and see how you can make it even better!

In the post, the host mentioned that he had poor sports results and was ridiculed by everyone. Reading this, I can totally appreciate the host's feelings and shame at the time!

What's so funny about just having bad sports results? Maybe these people are just all-rounders!

Guess what! It's okay if you don't do well in sports. You can tell yourself this and try to comfort yourself in this way.

And the teacher's targeting and the teacher's loud voice saying that he is a fat pig. But the original poster also mentioned that L is actually fatter than you, which is pretty hilarious if you think about it!

So when he scolds you, could it be that he's also scolding himself? Is it possible that he's extremely intolerant of himself, so he projects these emotions onto you?

Because your "fat" always makes him think about himself, and this is the part of himself that he can least face and accept. So, do you still have to pay for his mistakes?

L is also just a "poor little thing" who has the opportunity to face herself and change herself.

3. Take the reins and take responsibility for your own life and your own emotions!

Now, let's look at the harm they've caused us objectively. It may be that they can't accept themselves. But at this time, we may feel a little bit of relief!

But the good news is that the harm they have done to us is objective. So, give yourself a big hug!

So we can hate them and attack them! But when such emotions are always inside us, are we really happy and peaceful? Are we really happy? Absolutely!

If you hate, then go ahead and hate! Just don't let it consume you.

Absolutely! We can and should focus most of our energy and time on how to make ourselves happy. I personally always believe that the best "revenge" against others is to live a better life than they do.

How can we live better? We can do it by turning passivity into activity! It is true that we have been hurt, but we have the power to choose whether to continue to be hurt or to stop.

We can't change what happened, but we can change how we think about it! We let go of hatred not to forgive, but so that we can live better and take responsibility for our own lives and our own emotions.

It's time to say goodbye to the past and move on to the future!

4. Learn to care for yourself!

In the post, the host mentioned that after the exam, he had a nervous breakdown, regressed, cried on campus, and slapped himself. I feel a little sorry for the host when I read this, but it's also inspiring to see how he's taking control of his emotions and working through them.

I know it was a big blow to you at the time, but as the host may have discovered, this approach is probably not very helpful for academic performance and personal growth. But don't worry! There are so many other ways to achieve success.

It may even have the opposite effect! Because often the last straw that breaks us is our own cruelty to ourselves. But if we are gentle and caring towards ourselves, it will give us the strength to go further!

So, the original poster should definitely try to care for themselves! How?

The host can imagine what they would do if they had an ideal parent, and how they would comfort themselves. And guess what? We can care for ourselves in that way too!

We should absolutely satisfy our own needs ourselves, rather than expecting others to do so! If others are capable of doing so, I'm sure they would have done it a long time ago. But often, they are not capable of doing it.

The good news is that we can learn to do it ourselves. Self-care will give us the strength to go further!

5. The incredible inverted U-shaped relationship between motivation level and learning effect!

The fascinating theory that motivation levels and learning outcomes form an inverted U-shaped curve has been studied in psychology. They believe that we can achieve our best learning results when we maintain moderate levels of motivation.

And the learning effect is not very good when the motivation is too high or too low.

This is easy to understand. I think the original poster can absolutely adjust their state of mind according to this theory, so that they can absolutely face the exam better!

I really hope these will be a great source of inspiration for the host! Of course, change doesn't happen overnight, so please be patient with yourself.

Mental problems can be overcome with the right approach! I'm Zeng Chen, a psychological coach, and I'm here to help!

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Theobald Phillips Theobald Phillips A total of 9341 people have been helped

Good morning. It is a pleasure to see you in person.

Given your recent tendency to self-harm, I feel compelled to intervene and convey my observation that your actions evoke feelings of sadness in others. Instead of resorting to self-harm, I suggest you consider a more constructive coping mechanism, such as consuming a cup of hot milk tea and a cake at a leisurely pace.

It is important to note that these occurrences are not the result of any fault on the part of the individual. Given the emotional instability that is typical of this age, it is understandable that the subject may experience a certain degree of emotional volatility. However, it is crucial to recognize that self-criticism and self-reproach may inadvertently create a negative feedback loop, leading to a self-perpetuating cycle of negative emotions and behaviors.

If one engages in self-deprecating behavior with regard to one's modest achievements, it is unlikely that the results will improve. It is therefore important to love oneself and to believe in one's own abilities in order to achieve greater heights.

The fundamental issue that must be addressed is that the subject's experience has led to the establishment of a sense of security based on achievements. The objective is to ascertain an effective and cost-efficient approach to the imminent college entrance examination.

At this age, studies are indeed the main focus, but what is most important? It can be argued that the most important aspect is the promotion of life and health.

This encompasses both physical and mental health. It is therefore evident that promoting one's learning and effecting a change in one's mindset will be beneficial.

During this period, it is recommended to engage in regular physical activity, cultivate a tranquil mindset, refrain from excessive self-pressure, and adopt a nonchalant attitude towards outcomes. It is anticipated that significant gains will be achieved.

The Jensen effect: It is recommended that the psychological burden be released and that performance be conducted at the individual's usual level.

In regard to the matter of communicating with L in person, it would be prudent to ascertain whether this is truly the optimal course of action.

It would be beneficial to recall the instance when he singled you out for derision and ridicule. Allow this memory to linger in your heart for an extended period.

It is important to note that not everyone in this world is as kind as we might assume. While meeting him was a valuable learning experience, I do not feel gratitude towards him.

I have had a similar experience. My homeroom teacher in my senior year persistently subjected me to ridicule, derision, and condescension. I documented my negative perceptions of him in my diary. After I was assigned a new teacher and performed well on the college entrance exam, I still harbored negative sentiments toward him.

I empathize with your sentiment, as I initially resisted referring to him as "teacher" as well. I informed him, "I am appreciative of your presence in my life, as it has taught me to avoid emulating your actions."

Subsequent to posting the aforementioned message, I experienced a notable reduction in stress levels. It is unlikely that I will ever forgive him. However, I am capable of choosing not to concern myself with him, as there are numerous positive aspects in our lives that demand our attention.

I am disinclined to meet with him because he has left a profound impact on me, and I simply wish to convey the circumstances and my sentiments. It is imperative not to internalize blame and to recognize that you have already surpassed him considerably.

I believe you have also had the opportunity to learn from numerous excellent instructors.

You have a wide range of interests and can truly engage in them freely during your college years. I am eagerly awaiting to see how you navigate your college experience. The notion that "we don't have these problems, we're healthier" is a fallacy, so there is no need to fret over it.

It is not typical for students in their final year of studies to lack sufficient pressure. It is important to recognise that external influences can impact one's academic performance. Therefore, it is essential to question whether the hard work invested over the course of one's studies should not yield positive outcomes.

I have confidence in your abilities.

I extend my best wishes for a happy life and a rewarding experience in your final months of high school.

I would like to extend my best wishes to you in the hope that fortune may smile upon you.

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Stella Lee Stella Lee A total of 354 people have been helped

From what I can gather, it seems that

You strive to demonstrate your capabilities through your studies and seek recognition and approval.

In our lives, we may encounter individuals who may not have the best intentions.

That person could be a relative, a teacher,

It's possible that he is a friend of a classmate...

Your teacher offers feedback on every aspect of your homework.

Such a teacher can be quite discouraging and overwhelming.

In a recent incident, a teacher made some unfortunate comments in front of the class, which many students found hurtful and inappropriate.

I feel this is a serious violation of professional ethics.

After an unfortunate outcome in the fifth grade examination, this teacher consistently reiterated in subsequent interactions that

Perhaps it would be helpful to mention this to other students?

It appears that you may have been singled out as an example of someone who is not performing well.

And regardless of being first in class for the entire year.

I feel that a teacher like that may not be fully qualified.

I don't believe it's your fault that you were treated this way.

I'm sure you will agree that you were treated rather unfairly during your formative years.

I believe it has had a significant negative impact on you.

I believe that these experiences have made you long for recognition.

I wonder if you might have considered sharing these experiences with someone who could offer you support.

Perhaps there is someone in your life who could offer you an impartial perspective?

It is only natural to highlight your strengths.

If you go to a meeting and ask for ways to overcome low self-esteem and anxiety,

We are often told that we don't have these worries and that we are all mentally healthy.

It may be perceived that people with low self-esteem and anxiety

I would gently suggest that this is not the case.

I would like to suggest that this may not be the case.

It's only natural to feel anxious from time to time.

You are not alone in feeling this way.

When we encounter challenges and difficulties,

It's natural to feel anxious and afraid of failure.

It is understandable.

You find yourself wondering whether it might be helpful to speak with this teacher.

Perhaps it would be helpful to tell him that he has hurt you.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider the following:

Not everyone has the courage to face their mistakes and admit them.

You are facing a challenging situation.

It would be greatly appreciated if an apology could be provided.

It would be greatly appreciated if their efforts could be acknowledged.

And some others.

It is possible that they may take pleasure in causing harm to others.

Perhaps you could go and have a word with that teacher.

Perhaps a gentle scolding would be in order.

It would be beneficial for him to recognize his own mistakes.

Ultimately, though, it's not up to us.

You might consider asking yourself a few questions:

Could I perhaps be perceived as being less than ideal in this regard?

It might be helpful to write down your grades in each subject on a piece of paper.

If you maintain your current scores,

It would be beneficial to consider which university might be a good fit for you.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider whether attending a top university is a realistic goal.

For instance, if you were to attend Tsinghua,

Could that perhaps be a less than optimal path to success?

I wonder if there are people who are not so successful academically.

And end up living a good life?

Perhaps it would be helpful to ask yourself:

I wonder if I should be someone with high exam scores.

Perhaps you could find something you love to do.

It would be beneficial to have a few good friends.

I believe that living a full and fulfilling life is also a good thing.

Could it be that recognition from others is not as important as we often think?

It would seem that others are not overly concerned with my feelings. Might I inquire as to whether I should be concerned with what others think?

And they have been known to resort to name-calling.

I wonder if it would be appropriate to curse back.

If I am unable to respond in a similar manner,

Could I perhaps remind myself that

I don't think it's me.

Could this person perhaps be experiencing some sort of illness?

Perhaps it would be more constructive to consider the following:

I believe that others may not have a positive opinion of me.

For a long time, others have had the perception of me in a less than favorable way.

I believe there may be some truth to what others are saying.

I must admit that I am not as good as I would like to be.

I believe it is important to remember that others do not have the right to judge us.

I am aware that I have shortcomings.

I believe I have more highlights and unique aspects.

It might also be helpful to write down your achievements.

In terms of academic and social achievements,

It might also be helpful to write down the positive things others say about you.

If I may make a suggestion, perhaps you could also include any praise you have received.

It might be helpful to write down the strengths you feel you have.

If you find yourself doubting your abilities next time,

If you would like, you can take it out and read it five times.

Perhaps you could try telling yourself:

I'm not perfect, but I do my best.

I believe I am quite good at this.

I wish you the best of luck in the college entrance exam.

I hope my answer will be of some help to you.

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Comments

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Zeus Jackson Success waits on effort.

I can relate to feeling like your whole world revolves around grades. It's hard when you feel everyone expects so much from you, and it seems like one slipup could ruin everything. Facing Teacher L might be a step towards resolving past issues. Perhaps talking to her could help clear the air.

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Michaelangelo Thomas Growth is a journey of self - liberation from self - imposed limitations.

It sounds incredibly tough to have gone through all that criticism and mockery. Maybe focusing on what you enjoy and excelling in those areas can rebuild your confidence. Reaching out to someone who understands or a counselor might also offer some support.

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Harrison Thomas Growth is a journey of learning to see the value in every experience, good or bad.

Your experiences are deeply painful, and it's valid to feel the way you do. Before deciding to talk to Teacher L, consider how a conversation might affect you. Is there a possibility it could provide closure, or would it open old wounds? Sometimes writing a letter, even if you don't send it, can help process these feelings.

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Rosalie Dean Forgiveness is a way to break the cycle of violence and hatred and replace it with love.

It's heartbreaking to hear about the insults and the impact they've had on you. You deserve respect and understanding. As exams approach, try setting small, manageable goals for yourself instead of aiming for perfection. This can take some pressure off and help you see progress.

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Freda Miller The light of honesty can penetrate the thickest fog of falsehood.

You've faced a lot of challenges, yet you've managed to find interests beyond academics. That's a strength. For the upcoming exams, perhaps focus on strategies that reduce stress, such as mindfulness or relaxation techniques. Remember, your worth isn't defined by your grades alone.

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