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In the second year of junior high school, I am studying at an international school, my interpersonal learning is a mess, and I am especially anxious about what to do.

international school junior high school academic anxiety pressure family expectations
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In the second year of junior high school, I am studying at an international school, my interpersonal learning is a mess, and I am especially anxious about what to do. By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

I'm in the second year of junior high school, 14 years old, and I'm attending an international school. I transferred to an international school in the sixth grade. I didn't study or lay a foundation for the past few years, and now I'm especially anxious and want to do well in school, but I always get distracted in class. Some courses are taught entirely in English, and now I can't keep up at all. All of my classmates are very good at school, either because they come from wealthy families or because their parents have paved the way for them, even if they aren't good at studying. I want to try hard, but I don't know where to start. Every time, for example, I'm late for school and about to be late, I want to ask for leave, but I feel that it's useless. I'm so useless. I can be anxious for a week if I can't answer a question in class, and I keep wondering if my classmates look down on me, if the teacher doesn't like me, and if I'll be caught doing something wrong and ridiculed. I get scared when I hear my name from other people's mouths, and I wonder what they'll say behind my back. I feel like it's all because I didn't do well on my own, and I can't blame it on anyone else. I feel

My parents are both ordinary doctors, but they try their best to send me to the best schools. I feel really sorry for them. Every time they give me pocket money, buy me a new phone or new clothes, I feel a sense of guilt. Now that they are going to study for a postgraduate degree, they can't always accompany me. I also have two younger sisters, and I feel that they are really under a lot of pressure. I shouldn't make them worry anymore. I feel particularly ashamed and anxious. I feel that if I ask to see a psychologist, they will agree, but they will definitely want to know why I want to go. I really don't want to say, and I'm embarrassed to let them know.

Rosalind Knight Rosalind Knight A total of 6533 people have been helped

Hello! I'm thrilled to answer your question. I hope my suggestions will be helpful!

There are two exciting options here!

There are so many ways we can get help! One way is to ask the school's mental health teacher to help us regulate our emotions and state of mind. That way, our parents won't find out. But we can also sort things out with the help of professionals!

The second option is great because we can directly express our needs to our parents, inform them of some of our changes, and hope that they can take us to the hospital for relevant examinations and seek the assistance of professional psychological counseling.

If parents have any doubts about why they want to seek help from a psychologist, we can simply tell them that there is a need for confidentiality in the psychological part of the matter, and that we would prefer to communicate with professionals about it.

Or we can just not tell our parents that we want to see a psychologist, but tell them that there have been some changes in our current situation and that we feel uncomfortable. The good news is that we can then hope that our parents can take us to the hospital for relevant examinations, and then the professionals will explain to our parents that there are confidentiality regulations when it comes to the psychological part.

I'm sure that with the help of professionals, you'll be able to find a way to adjust to your needs and restore your physical and mental health!

The world and I love you!

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Brody Morgan Brody Morgan A total of 6440 people have been helped

I understand. I'm Duo Duo Lian. I hope my reply helps.

At just 14, you're already looking at the big picture. You have poor grades, poor relationships, cost your parents a lot, and are a burden to your sister.

Give yourself a pat on the back for taking responsibility. Many children today are spending their parents' money and asking for things. You have already surpassed many people.

You went to an international school and haven't been motivated. You want to study hard. There is no right or wrong, only growth. All classes are taught in English, and not every child can understand. You feel like you have too many burdens and don't know how to move forward.

Your classmates are very good, and some parents have helped their children. You want to work hard, but you don't have the strength. You worry about your parents' hard work and your future. Thoughts outweigh actions. You are still a child, so how can you afford it?

Your classmates are outstanding, so you can't be bad. You've already surpassed many ordinary families. Your parents have expectations, but you can follow your own pace. Now that you've awakened, just start from the present.

Some parents impose their wishes on their children. They worry that their children will lose out. They need to know that children want to learn and grow up healthy. This is also why many parents send their children to international schools. A good environment is no longer a learning machine. Times are developing too fast. Many industries will be eliminated.

Parents don't want to regret not giving their children the best. A good attitude, the ability to adapt, and a good education are key. Focus on yourself. Take care of yourself, enjoy good food, relax with exercise, and satisfy your needs.

You are worried and afraid, and some people envy you for having good parents, a good school, and so many outstanding classmates.

You're not wrong, but you're carrying too much. Everyone has a different flowering period. You can't do it now, and that's okay. Life is about experiencing. You'll continue to rise after this low point. Your parents are busy with work and your younger sister. Their love for you is not what you want.

Talk to your parents. They can't understand your pressure. Talk to friends too. Even if you get into a good university in China, everyone has their own way of doing things. Work hard and learn to handle pressure and setbacks.

You think of the big picture but are carrying a heavy burden. How can you move forward? You've already hit rock bottom.

We can make progress every day. We can try new things, build our social resources, and follow our own rhythm.

Then you can keep the good.

Keep your boundaries, do your best, relax, and broaden your horizons. Don't disparage yourself. In China, your parents are still respected.

You're lucky your parents let you learn and grow.

Thank your parents for their sacrifices and express your stress and thoughts. Your parents can understand you because your happiness is important, and so is your family. Put aside your distractions, relax, you are still a middle school student, and the future is long.

Life is a marathon. Some people are fast, some are slow. Only those who overcome difficulties and are grateful can go further. Just like you have this quality, adjust your state and take a break when you need to. It's okay.

No one's life is easy. Accept yourself, see what you get, meet your needs, and be your child's age again. Everyone has their own destiny, and we all bear the responsibility for our choices.

You deserve to be happy.

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Juliette Nguyen Juliette Nguyen A total of 9323 people have been helped

My dear child, I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. It's tough at your age to deal with schoolwork and relationships.

However, every difficulty will pass and every effort will not be in vain.

You are not alone. We have all been confused and insecure at some point.

You don't need to feel guilty or ashamed. You're facing your problems head-on, which is commendable.

Studying can be hard, especially if you're taking English courses. But if you work hard, your grades will improve.

Start from the basics and make up for previous deficiencies step by step. Set a small goal every day, such as memorizing 10 new words or understanding a new piece of knowledge.

These small goals are easy to achieve and make you feel good.

Talk to your teachers and classmates. They can help you learn.

Learning is not a battle for one person. The strength of the team is infinite.

I know you may feel uneasy about your relationships. But if you are sincere and respectful, you will be able to gain true friendships.

Here are some suggestions you can try:

1. Make a study plan. Break your tasks into small chunks and focus on one at a time.

Rest and relaxation help you focus better and improve your learning efficiency.

2. Find a study partner. You can help each other, discuss problems, and share experiences.

This will make studying more fun.

3. For English classes, practice your speaking and listening. Find English corners or language exchange partners.

Watching English movies, TV shows, and songs can also help you improve your English.

4. Take the initiative and make friends. Say hello, smile, and join in.

You can also join interest groups or clubs to share your interests with others.

5. Learning to listen and express yourself is also key to building good relationships. When others communicate with you, listen carefully and respond positively.

Be brave enough to express your views and feelings so others understand you.

6. Try relaxation and stress relief methods like deep breathing, meditation, or exercise. They can help you regulate your emotions.

Don't worry about what others think. Everyone is different, and no one is perfect.

Everyone is different, so don't let others make you doubt yourself. Believe in yourself and relax.

Believe in yourself and the future. You have unlimited potential. Work hard and you will achieve your dreams.

We're here for you. Good luck!

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Penelope Penelope A total of 8553 people have been helped

In light of the circumstances you have outlined, it is important to recognise that your feelings are a normal part of the process and that many individuals face similar challenges during their personal and professional growth. I have provided some suggestions below which I hope will assist you in managing your current situation:

1. Accept your imperfections: It is important to recognize that everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. Accepting your current state is the first step towards change. It is crucial not to be overly critical of your shortcomings, but rather to learn from them and grow.

2. Set incremental goals: It is not advisable to attempt to solve all of your problems simultaneously. Instead, begin with smaller tasks, such as focusing on listening to one class per day or learning one new word per day.

As you achieve small successes, your self-confidence will gradually accumulate.

3. **Time management**: Establish a reasonable schedule that incorporates study time, rest time, and leisure. Adherence to a consistent routine can enhance efficiency and mitigate anxiety.

4. Seek assistance from teachers, school counselors, or parents. They can provide learning resources and support to help you better adapt to school life.

5. Improve interpersonal relationships: Attempt to initiate communication with your colleagues, even if it is merely a simple greeting or a discussion about the course content. This can assist in fostering friendships and reducing feelings of isolation.

6. Adopt a positive mindset. When confronted with negative thoughts, attempt to shift your perspective to a more constructive one. Instead of dwelling on limitations, focus on the potential for growth and development.

7. Stress Management: Identify an activity that helps you relax, such as exercise, listening to music, or painting. These activities can help relieve stress.

8. **Professional advice**: Should you experience significant anxiety, we advise you to seek the assistance of a qualified counselor. They can provide expert guidance and treatment options to assist you in effectively managing your emotions and stress.

9. **Communicate with parents**: While it may be preferable to avoid burdening them with concerns, it is nevertheless important to communicate honestly with them about your feelings and difficulties. They may be able to provide unexpected support and understanding.

10. Self-Affirmation: It is beneficial to engage in daily self-affirmation practices, such as repeating positive affirmations like "I'm good enough" and "I'm worthy," to enhance self-confidence.

Please note that change takes time. Do not expect to see dramatic changes overnight. Instead, take small steps towards your goal every day, and you will see progress.

Additionally, it is important to remember that failure is a natural part of the process. Setbacks are inevitable, but it is crucial to learn from them and continue moving forward.

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Comments

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Sergio Anderson The pursuit of knowledge in both practical and theoretical fields is the key to a learned life.

I understand how you feel, and it's okay to feel this way. Everyone has moments where they struggle. Maybe we could start by setting small, achievable goals for yourself. Just focus on one thing at a time, like improving in one subject or staying focused during one class period. You don't have to do everything at once.

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Jesse Jackson Life is a carousel. You have to grab for the brass ring.

It sounds tough, but remember, your value isn't determined by your grades or what others think of you. Try talking to someone you trust about how you're feeling. It doesn't have to be a big conversation; even just hinting at your feelings might open up support from friends or teachers who can relate and offer help.

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Thalia Jackson Learning is a path of continuous evolution.

You're not alone in this. A lot of students go through similar struggles adjusting to new environments. Perhaps reaching out to the school counselor could be helpful. They are there to support you without judgment and can provide strategies to manage stress and anxiety. No need to worry about burdening your parents if professionals are available to assist.

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Kent Thomas Life is a test and this world a place of trial.

Feeling this way is really hard, especially with so much pressure. Consider joining a study group or finding a mentor among older students or teachers. Sometimes seeing others work through similar challenges can inspire you and show that it's possible to improve over time. Your efforts now will make a difference, and it's important to believe in yourself and take it one step at a time.

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