Is it about seeking attention, which makes me feel strange, and I don't understand him?

Hello!

You've known this guy for almost three years, and you know that he has a girlfriend. You're not trying to steal him away from her, and he has no intention of leaving her for you.

You two hang out with mutual friends, and all your friends, including him, know that there's something between you two and that you like him!

Since he knows you like him, he doesn't want to leave his girlfriend to be with you. So what kind of relationship is this with you?

I guess, for a man, this kind of relationship is just 'having a girl who I know likes me'. It's just the feeling of being spoiled and loved – and it's a great feeling!

Both boys and girls love the feeling of being surrounded by the affection of others! It makes them feel great about themselves and gives them a sense of comfort.

But how much does he like you? He has never expressed it, only his physical needs, and he has never expressed emotional needs or given affection.

From the way you are trying so hard to guess his thoughts and understand his actions, it is clear that your feelings for him are genuine. Even someone like me, who is not involved, can sense that you have some feelings or expectations for him, and it's so great to see!

You are so rational about relationships and have such a strong sense of boundaries! You have always restrained your emotions and behavior with reason.

You've set the bar high for yourself, aiming to make a good impression and help him as a friend. This sense of boundaries is working wonders for you!

You use your amazing reasoning and rational thinking skills to draw a clear bottom line for yourself. You are really outstanding among your peers and have a stronger sense of reason than most people.

It's so important to remember that problems with emotions are mutual. You might be feeling some emotions right now, but you're the only one who can change them.

This requires self-awareness and asking yourself questions, rather than seeking outside. If you seek outside others, you will always be swayed by the slightest action or word of others, and they will lead you by the nose. But there's an easier way! You can break out of that vicious circle by seeking self-awareness and asking yourself questions.

We can start with our own thoughts and actions and become aware of what we really need! How much of his needs match our ideal needs, and how much does not?

Even if it meets our needs, we must also distinguish which are just our own projections onto him, and then rationally see how to distinguish and deal with those of our imaginations in reality. In terms of the associated self-needs, it's a great idea to ask yourself: are there also some aspects that are our own associated needs, not our real needs?

It's totally normal to feel confused and ignorant when you're young. It's all part of the journey! Some experiences are necessary stages, and you'll always move through the confused and ignorant self and towards a more lucid self.

If you're still unclear about your needs, don't worry! You can find a listening therapist or heart exploration coach to do some in-depth exploration together. It's a great way to explore your own needs for love and discover what kind of true feelings you really want.

Then, with a clear mind, go after that "him" in the real world and get a real love affair!

The world and I love you, and you can too! Love yourself!

There are several different perspectives from which we can analyze and understand the dilemma you are facing in this complex relationship. First, we need to explore the use and importance of empathy and interpersonal boundaries in this situation.

We will then discuss in depth how to handle and maintain this delicate relationship in a way that is respectful to all parties involved.

1. From an empathetic perspective

From an empathetic perspective, the boy may be seeking emotional comfort or a way to escape the pressures of a relationship. He may find a sense of comfort in you, which may come from your friendship or his emotional dependence on you.

It is important to understand, however, that while it is crucial to comprehend his emotional requirements, it does not entail that you should relinquish your own emotional well-being to fulfill them. Empathy should be a reciprocal process, not one of sacrifice and forbearance on one side.

2. The importance of interpersonal boundaries

It is essential to establish clear interpersonal boundaries in this kind of relationship. Doing so helps you protect your emotional well-being and prevents you from getting involved in situations that could have a negative impact on you.

In your account, it appears that the conduct of this individual has already encroached upon your personal boundaries, particularly given his romantic involvement and continued efforts to establish a degree of intimacy with you. It is essential to assess whether this relationship is genuinely conducive to your well-being.

Does this relationship make you feel comfortable and respected?

3. Self-respect and respect for others

The ability to maintain self-respect and respect for others is essential for navigating these complex interpersonal relationships. While emotional attachment may be present, it is crucial to recognize that a healthy relationship is based on mutual respect and clear boundaries.

If the relationship is causing confusion, discomfort, or is becoming a burden, it is advisable to reassess and consider establishing more stringent boundaries.

4. How to address the issue

1. Communicate clearly: Have an open and honest conversation with the individual in question and express your feelings and concerns. Make it clear where your boundaries lie and how you expect the relationship to develop.

2. Self-Reflection: Take time to consider the implications of the relationship for your long-term happiness and emotional well-being.

3. Seek assistance: Speak with a trusted colleague or family member about how you feel, or consider seeking professional counseling to gain a better understanding of your emotions and needs.

4. Defend your boundaries: Once you have defined your boundaries, you should firmly defend them. It is important to remember that you should not compromise your boundaries for the needs of others, especially if these needs make you feel uncomfortable or disrespected.

In conclusion, when navigating complex interpersonal relationships, it is essential to prioritize the protection of emotional well-being and self-esteem. Demonstrating empathy while establishing and maintaining clear boundaries can foster mutual respect and contribute to a healthy work environment.

Ultimately, select the option that is best for you and remember that you deserve to be respected and valued.

Dear questioner, I am Duoduo Lian. I am here to support you.

You and your friend have been friends for over three years. You enjoy the on-and-off dynamic, and you find it difficult to refuse him. The other person also flirts with you unintentionally to see how you respond and figure you out. When faced with a boy who likes you, you are reluctant to get involved because of his presence. What attracts you?

Your friend tries to assert his presence and superiority in front of you. He has a girlfriend, but he still flirts with other women and tests you, making you lose your way and trying to control you. You keep getting in touch with him, so he keeps getting closer to you.

You've known each other for a long time, so you know why you haven't gotten together. Men need to be adored by women. He's using you to satisfy his sense of worth. He knows you like him, but you're too afraid to act on it because he has a girlfriend.

You're more like buddies, teasing each other and satisfying each other's needs. You can't refuse him, and it seems that you want something to happen. Everyone wants to be recognized and supported. There's a magic about him that attracts you and makes you unable to refuse.

The way you treat others is what shapes their behavior. You've given him chances again and again, making it difficult for him to move on. He's stuck between leaving and staying in a relationship that's dragging on.

If he didn't have a girlfriend, you'd choose him. He'd be your ideal partner if you were to get married.

You need to accept that he is intimate with other people. You need to decide whether you like him and the feelings he gives you. You need to decide whether you want the other person to leave you. You need to continue exploring this.

Take back your power. Don't test anyone. You deserve love and good things.

You've got this!

Hello, I'm a heart exploration coach. I wish you all the best on your journey. Life is a beautiful thing, and it's not just about appreciation, but also about growth.

After hearing your story, I was reminded of the tricky question: is there a purely platonic friendship between a man and a woman? I think there can be, but it's probably pretty tough.

It's not explicitly stated, but it seems there was once love between them, which has transcended the purely platonic relationship.

?1. The ambiguous relationship between you both is enjoyable for both parties.

A three-year friendship may seem a bit distant, but the other person is still very important to you.

It's the kind of relationship where you don't bother each other unless there's a problem, and then you can talk about it directly.

It's because you both have each other in your hearts that you have dreams, expectations, and longings. At the same time, because you respect and trust each other, you also have restraint, a sense of maintaining a distance, and the lingering concern that seeing each other is not as good as remembering.

He's a friend, but not like other friends. When someone else makes a joke, it's just a joke. But when he makes a joke, you take it more seriously and think about it more.

This is the challenge of wanting intimacy while maintaining a sense of distance. You don't want to ruin this pure and innocent relationship. This will make you appreciate each other more, look back on memories more often, and stay connected for longer.

?2. How should you think about this relationship?

You're each other's "backup" and "true love."

Your feelings for him and his feelings for you are both strong, but you're both holding back and not taking the initiative to break the ice because he has a girlfriend.

You can definitely take the offensive and compete with this boyfriend on equal terms, but there's also a sense of inferiority: is he being cynical or does he really have feelings for me?

Treat the relationship with an ordinary heart and no improper thoughts, and you can easily maintain this rare and precious friendship. A girl who deserves respect from boys is one who knows how to respect and love herself. When she does, boys are afraid to blaspheme, even in words.

I hope this is helpful to you, and I wish you all the best.

If you'd like to continue the conversation, you can follow my personal homepage, "Heart Exploration Service."

Hello, I'm the Heart Exploration Coach, Gu Daoxi Fengshou Slender Donkey!

I have to say, as a woman, I admire the questioner so much for being rational, restrained, and clear-headed!

After reading the questioner's description, I actually feel a bit sorry for the questioner. With an unproductive relationship like this, it might be more rational to just end it — and then start fresh with someone who's ready to give you their all!

As someone who has been in a relationship and married, I've learned that it's not a good idea to talk to one person while hanging out with another, especially when there's a conflict with your lover. It's also not something a responsible lover should do because being nice to you but being ambiguous is actually a kind of emotional hurt.

The questioner may imagine what their feelings would be if their boyfriend was still having an affair with someone else. Even if the other person intends to have an affair with the questioner, they may be hurting two women at the same time.

It's a great idea to consider this carefully, as such people may have limited emotional exclusivity.

It's so important to remember that what the other person does may not be that important. Whether the other person is playing with two boats or wants to keep a spare tire, if you don't care, it may no longer matter and have nothing to do with you.

The questioner may need to consider their own feelings more, their own standards for choosing a spouse, the ever-changing outside world, and the fact that I have a fixed point of reference, which will help them stop being confused by the other person's behavior.

I'm so excited to share some personal opinions with you, but please remember they're just that — opinions! They're not meant to be used as decision-making tools.

What are your own criteria for choosing a spouse? When the questioner has their own clear requirements for a romantic partner, they are free to focus on what matters most to them, without being affected by the ambiguous behavior of the other person.

~Can you accept that the person you like is not completely devoted to you? If there is a fair competition, would you be willing to be chosen by the other person?

What are the amazing qualities that the questioner likes about the other person? Does he or she know all the other person's faults?

Or could it be because of some kind of complex?

From a different perspective, if someone you don't like is trying to assert their presence in front of you in this way, what would you be feeling inside? It's an exciting opportunity to look at this matter from a rational perspective and see what the answer is!

From a different perspective, there are two fascinating possibilities here. One is that the other person is involved with two girls at the same time because they don't love you. The other is that they are emotionally uncommitted.

Oh, the possibilities are endless! The question asker may even find themselves accepting such a lover. And who knows, they might even remain faithful after marriage.

The questioner can definitely step outside of their own perspective and objectively look at the person who is trying to assert their presence. The answer will surely become clearer!

I highly recommend reading "If I Knew Before Marriage" and "A Thought Turn." They'll really help you sort out your thoughts!

Wishing you the best!

From what the questioner has said, it seems like he has his own thoughts and knows what's going on. But he's reluctant to firmly reject what he expects from the situation, so he maintains this ambiguous state of an uncertain relationship.

Ambiguity is a kind of relationship where it's not clear who's responsible for what. It's like nothing really happens. Even if something does happen, you can just say "I don't know" or "I forgot." This is what makes the questioner feel strange. Let's say the two are good friends, but the other person's words and deeds often exceed the boundaries of what good friends should say and do. Let's say they are boy and girl friends, but the other person has a girlfriend.

As the saying goes, "the person involved is blind to the situation." The questioner may feel that he's a good friend, but I personally feel that this is only what he thinks, not how he really feels. The questioner may say that he's refused to have a relationship with the other person. Yes, but has he ever thought about why he's refused to have a relationship with him?

Is it because he has a girlfriend, or is there something else going on?

From what the questioner has said, it seems that he is often just going along with things without actively maintaining the boundaries of the relationship. This also shows that he wants to express himself. To find out whether he is brushing his sense of existence, he should ask himself how he feels. I think he will know the answer.

Ultimately, the questioner feels like he can't understand the other person, which is true. Or, the other person doesn't want the questioner to understand them that well. At the same time, the questioner doesn't really want to understand them more. Once the questioner really understands the other person, the current ambiguous state may not continue. This is something both the other person and the questioner need in their hearts. Once the two people's inner needs are in agreement, they can naturally maintain the current relationship status.

It's not hard to let go of a love that has no future. Love the people and things in the world, and you'll find your true love. To love others, hope for and give them happiness. Forgive and accept, and correct mistakes if you can. Everyone has the right to happiness.

People can bring each other joy. Love and accept others and yourself, be kind, and be beneficial to others. If you don't get along with most people, it can lead to negative energy and emotional problems. You have to truly love others and adapt to people and things, and correct your energy field, in order to be more likely to find and have love and suitable relationships and careers.

You can also share what you like with others, including books, movies, music, and so on. At the same time, love life and be content with the little things.

Negative energy can affect your health. Massage your whole body to keep it comfortable and healthy. Massage your head deeply and firmly with your hands, or use a hard massage comb. Don't press your stomach on an empty stomach.

If you feel negative emotions or thoughts, don't feel comfortable or healthy, have a lot of things that don't go your way, or have problems at school or work, it is because you are too self-centered and have accumulated too much negative energy. You need to learn how to truly love others, adapt to people and situations, and improve your energy field. If necessary, you can also help those around you grow and change together.

Perhaps a hug would be a good first step.

I can appreciate how confusing and embarrassing this situation is for you. From what you have described, the boy's behavior is indeed somewhat unclear, and there may be some confusing and contradictory signals. Let's analyze the possible scenarios and his motives together.

1. Your emotions: It's possible that he has some feelings for you, but he may not be sure or may be unwilling to admit it. He may be trying to maintain an ambiguous friendship or a relationship while also trying to maintain his relationship with his girlfriend.

2. Seeking excitement or seeking satisfaction: Some people may seek attention and contact with other people while they are already in a relationship. This behavior may be because they feel a certain dissatisfaction or lack in the current relationship, but they may be unwilling to directly face the problem.

3. Playing with feelings or seeking self-affirmation: Some people may seek self-affirmation or satisfaction through interactions with other people. This behavior may be an attempt to compensate for their own feelings of unease or uncertainty through interactions with you.

It is important to remain clear about your feelings and your bottom line, regardless of his motives. If you feel uncomfortable or confused, it is okay to express this. You can then stick to your bottom line and principles.

You have come to recognize that this relationship may not be the best for you, so it might be helpful to be firm and protect yourself from getting unnecessarily emotionally involved.

If this situation continues to bother you or has a negative impact on you, you might consider having an honest conversation with him. In this conversation, you could express your feelings and position. If he is unable to give you a clear response or respect your feelings, you might consider reducing or ending contact with him. This could help protect your emotional and mental health.

From your description, it is evident that you are experiencing a state of internal conflict and struggle. I offer you a virtual embrace to convey my support and understanding.

Every choice entails a trade-off between gains and losses. A clear understanding of the gains and losses associated with a given choice may facilitate the selection of a relatively optimal decision.

First, it is necessary to adopt an objective perspective. The scenario involves a male partner in a relationship who maintains an ambiguous relationship with a person of the opposite sex.

From a social and moral standpoint, this constitutes infidelity. From a psychological perspective, he exhibits a striking lack of responsibility in his treatment of his own emotions and those of others.

Should we persist in developing a relationship with this individual, there is a significant risk of encountering a series of adverse emotional experiences, including love triangles and betrayal. These represent losses.

Then, it is necessary to adopt a personal perspective. It is known that the other person has a girlfriend, and it is even evident that they display a certain attitude of distance at times and appear to desire only the benefits without any commitment. However, when the other person sends out signals of invitation, it is still challenging to refuse.

Such behavior demonstrates that there are still aspects of the relationship that are desirable. Therefore, it is essential to identify the underlying motivations behind these actions. Is it the desire for care and attention, or something else?

The question thus arises as to whether the feeling of being needed can be obtained exclusively in this relationship with the other person, or whether it can also be obtained in relationships with other people.

These are the key issues that require further investigation.

In the course of our lives, we will encounter a multitude of individuals with whom we will form relationships. These relationships serve as mirrors, reflecting aspects of our own selves. In the majority of cases, our habitual behaviors originate from our subconscious.

Inquiring of oneself inwardly, discerning and corroborating one's needs is to perceive the subconscious. There is no intrinsic quality of good or bad associated with needs; needs must be fulfilled. Selecting an appropriate and reasonable method can facilitate a superior quality of life and a positive emotional experience, whereas an unsuitable method may result in adverse consequences for oneself or others.

"Birds choose good trees to nest in, and people choose good people to be with." It is imperative to recognize that one deserves to be treated well at all times.

As a user of the social media platform Snapchat, I hope that the aforementioned information will assist you in making more informed decisions.

Hello, question asker.

From your description, it's clear that

Your relationship is very ambiguous.

The biggest attraction of ambiguity is the love that is not yet obtained.

The lyrics say it: the unobtainable is forever restless, while the favored are fearless.

If he wants to be friends with you, he should formally propose to go out with you after he breaks up with you. It's obvious that he can tell who is his girlfriend and who is just having an affair with him. This kind of ambiguous relationship gives him a sense of ease and freedom from responsibility. At the same time, he can tease you, making you feel that you like him, which gives him a sense of accomplishment. He gets to indulge his vanity. Just as friends say that because you like him, no boy who likes you has confessed.

He'll always find you attractive as long as he doesn't think he owns you. And if you do get together, he'll still fool around on the side.

He asks you all the time if he can sleep with you.

He doesn't like you, and you don't need to feel feminine in his eyes.

He just thinks you might say yes, and he doesn't want to take responsibility.

You can say that you did it willingly, not that he forced you.

This is just an outburst of male hormones, and he doesn't respect you at all.

A man who doesn't respect you and doesn't want to take responsibility is emotionally pulling you back and forth. If you get caught up in it and devote yourself to him, he'll just maintain a physical relationship with you and not value you much. And the other person has a girlfriend.

I wish you the best. You need to love yourself. You need to respect yourself. You need to make your own judgment. Just as you refused him at the hotel that day, you should distance yourself from him.

Hello, question asker.

From what you've shared about your situation, I can see how your relationship with this friend has become quite complex over the past two years. It's not uncommon for the dynamics between men and women in a relationship to become quite entangled. When we encounter this kind of inner entanglement, it can be challenging to know how to move forward. It's like having a dish that you don't particularly enjoy, but you're reluctant to discard it. I'm sending you my support and encouragement.

You mentioned that you met him when he was already in a relationship, and that you became involved with him. After such a long time together, I feel that "entangled" may not fully capture the nature of your relationship. It could be more accurately described as an on-and-off dynamic. Sometimes, you may not want to end the relationship, but at pivotal moments, you seem to be able to maintain the status quo. I sense that you may be in a more complex situation than he is. He has a girlfriend, but he is still involved with you in this way. I wonder if his character is as straightforward as it seems.

As the saying goes, those in the know are often confused, while outsiders may see things more clearly. As an outsider, I feel that this is what I would say. I would suggest that if you don't make a decision, there will be consequences. When it is really necessary, you may want to consider moving on from this situation, as you feel that he may not be as sincere as you would like. At the very least, he may not be as devoted to you as you would like. Is it really worth being attached to someone who is not devoted to you?

I understand that it's not easy for you to say this. After all, he has already entered your heart, and you just hope that there will be a turning point, so that he can change and have more opportunities to communicate with you. But now it has been almost two years, and the situation is still so confusing. I also feel that you may have more thoughts than he does. He is a guy, and he is prone to loneliness. He is just casually contacting you. So in this situation, I think it would be helpful for you to take the initiative to find a solution.

I believe you came here to gain self-awareness and find a radical solution. Today, while watching the Spring Festival Gala, I saw a cross talk with many ideas. I'm not sure if you've seen it, but I think you might find it helpful to watch it carefully. The director said something that wasn't there and then withdrew it, which led to many ideas. After calling to ask, I learned that he was actually asking for a delivery. It's a simple example, but it shows that there's no need to overthink or make things more complicated than they need to be.

I would like to suggest that you watch that video again carefully. I hope that you will find inspiration in it and that you will be able to use it in your future life. I believe that it will be of some help to your current situation.

I truly believe that you have the ability to find a satisfactory solution to this problem using your own wisdom. I'm confident that you will succeed. The world and I love you!

Hello, It doesn't matter what the boy's intentions are, we girls must learn to protect ourselves in relationships. From what you've told me, it seems that the boy you've known for a long time has a girlfriend. There was once an ambiguous relationship, but no sex. There was almost sex, but you refused. He still appears in your life from time to time.

The reason for his behavior might be that he hasn't clearly expressed his true feelings. He might have some positive feelings towards you but is afraid of being rejected. Or, he might be indecisive, wanting to maintain an ambiguous relationship with you but also afraid of losing the stable relationship with his girlfriend.

It's possible that this guy is trying to make a point through his behavior. By sending you so many messages and acting so intimately, he may be trying to get your attention.

Sometimes this behavior is driven by a psychological need for affirmation or the satisfaction of hitting on another girl.

I can tell you're confused, conflicted, and anxious. You can't control the situation, so you may also feel passive and powerless.

From what you've told me, it seems like this guy doesn't take relationships seriously. I'd advise against going any further.

We'd be wise not to get too invested in this kind of ambiguous relationship, because once we get caught up in it, we'll likely end up hurting ourselves. In this situation, the best thing we can do is to stop the loss in time!

It's important to know how to handle a guy who's making advances. If we just go along with it, we'll end up in a more passive position. If you're unsure about his behaviour, you can set boundaries.

All the best,

Good morning, my name is Coach Yu, and I would be grateful for the opportunity to discuss this topic with you.

Perhaps we could begin by discussing relationships and the self.

In "The Terrific Me," Chen Hai-xian offers the perspective that people are in relationships all the time and that the self is different in different relationships. What often determines our thinking and behavior is not our personality, but the relationships we are in. From this perspective, it's possible that the dimension of our thinking may undergo a significant transformation.

The original poster wrote in the question that he makes me feel a bit strange, and I'm not quite sure if he's just trying to feel important.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider what role we play in this casual friendship. It seems that, despite having known each other for three years, our interactions have largely been limited to drinking and chatting.

I wonder what role I play in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. It's a bit ambiguous, but nothing has happened yet.

I am unsure of my role in this ambiguous relationship. I find it challenging to accept that he is in a relationship, but I am not ready to take the next step.

Perhaps we could also consider what we might want from a relationship as just friends. Is it something more than just getting together occasionally for a drink and a chat?

I wonder what I might want in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. Is it to take the relationship further?

Perhaps he is trying to show his presence?

I wonder what I can expect from an ambiguous relationship. I'm not sure if he truly likes me.

Perhaps he is looking for a replacement for his girlfriend when she is not around.

Perhaps we could also consider the question of sexual satisfaction?

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider what position and role we put ourselves in when we think about letting go of him. Do I accept this position and role?

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider how this situation might be affecting him. What kind of position and role might I be putting myself in by accepting this situation?

If we find ourselves acting in ways that are not in alignment with our true selves, it's not a personal issue, but rather a reflection of the relationship dynamics at play. By understanding our own needs from the perspective of the relationship, we can approach things from a more holistic and constructive standpoint.

Perhaps we could try communicating with him once, facing the relationship, discussing it, expressing our thoughts honestly, listening to his thoughts carefully, and acknowledging the current situation between us. It might be unrealistic to expect to truly understand each other's thoughts or ideas after one communication, and it's not our intention to deliberately change the other person. Our goal is to understand each other and unlock more possibilities, while also releasing our pent-up emotions.

Perhaps we could take a moment to talk about loving yourself.

From the perspective of the current relationship, it seems that our state of mind may be the primary issue. Based on the principle of separating issues, it could be that a voluntary choice is the end goal of a good relationship, once we understand our true inner needs.

It might be helpful to seek support because if this is an issue for you, it can be difficult to overcome it on your own. You might like to think about talking to a family member or friend you trust who has always given you positive support. Alternatively, you could consider speaking to a counselor if you feel the need. It can be beneficial to talk through your emotions to relieve the heaviness and blockage in our hearts.

It would be beneficial for us to empower ourselves, as any change often begins with ourselves. We could consider going out into nature, listening to the frogs, smelling the birds and flowers, and feeling the beauty of life, while letting go of our worries. It might also be helpful for us to maintain an ordinary heart, as we believe that we always have the right to choose.

We would like to suggest the book Amazing Me as a recommended read.

Good day, my name is Jokerev. I empathize with your current distress and confusion.

Your account reveals a complex and subtle emotional entanglement involving friendship, ambiguity, and moral boundaries. His initiative to chat with you and some of his actions at parties have the potential to generate emotional misunderstandings and expectations. However, his actions are also reserved, particularly his maintenance of a certain distance, which is further complicated by the fact that he already has a girlfriend. This has the effect of causing you confusion and distress.

It should be noted that individuals approach relationships in different ways. Some may seek alternative emotional support or companionship while already in a stable relationship for various reasons. This does not indicate a lack of value placed on the original relationship. It may also be the case that they are dealing with their own complex emotions.

Some of his actions, such as limiting your access to his social circle, may be a result of his attempts to avoid presenting you with certain information that could lead to misunderstandings, or to define the nature of the relationship between you. With regard to the bracelet, it may be a means of initiating conversation, or it may be indicative of an attachment to this friendship that is challenging to relinquish.

Despite your decision to terminate the relationship, you continued to respond to his communications, indicating a residual attachment. It is essential to recognize that a healthy relationship is founded on mutual respect and honesty, not conflict or distress for either party.

It is recommended that you first examine your own heart and mind to clarify your true feelings for him and the relationship model you expect. If you decide to terminate the relationship, you must learn to firmly decline requests from this individual to protect yourself from harm and also respect the feelings of others.

In the meantime, it would be beneficial to pursue other interests, expand your social circle, and gradually disengage from this emotionally challenging situation.

Love should not be a burden, but a reassuring and liberating presence. It is important to allow yourself time to heal and to seek out a partner who is truly right for you.

During this process, you may find that true happiness does not come from an ambiguous situation. Instead, it can be found in a relationship where both parties are willing to love each other wholeheartedly and are equally committed to that love.

Dear questioner, I'm Peilü, and I'm here to help!

First of all, I'll give you a big, warm hug ?

Let's talk about interpersonal relationships!

Let's dive into the data together!

The questioner said that he is in a close relationship with a friend of the opposite sex. The other person has a girlfriend, but often takes the initiative to hang out with you and have fun. There was even an occasion when you almost had sex. You don't think this ambiguous relationship is appropriate, but it's hard to resist his initiative. You can't be sure of his attitude, so you feel very distressed. I can understand your uneasy feelings in the face of the other person's ambiguous attitude. It seems that your emotions are swayed by the other person's words and deeds.

Let's take a closer look at the reasons why.

Attitude

"Two months ago, he asked me if he could sleep with me after drinking too much." From this, it's pretty clear that he wants to have sex with you! Your attitude of refusing twice is also very clear: it's best to maintain the status quo, but not to cross the bottom line. Although everything seems to have returned to the starting point, something seems to have changed.

He later blocked your circle of friends, talked about his girlfriend in front of you, and refused to go out and play. It's so great to see that he's accepted the current relationship model and hasn't crossed the line again!

Just a little personal advice:

It's so important to have a sense of boundaries in a relationship.

It can be tricky getting along with the opposite sex! It's like a feeling that is both there and not there. He currently has a girlfriend, and although there have been some minor incidents, in the end you have always maintained a friendly relationship, which is not exactly the result you hoped for.

As for whether he really likes you, I don't think you need a definite answer, sweetie. Unless you are unhappy with the current situation and want to seek other changes, that is.

How you see the relationship

"It's just that I thought our relationship would end directly, but every now and then he makes his presence felt, which makes me think that he likes me, and then it makes me feel that he's resisting me. I know it's wrong, too, because he has a girlfriend, but I feel a bit uncomfortable. It's just that when I want to let go, he comes to chat with me again, and I can't refuse him.

It seems like you have feelings for him that go beyond friendship. It's totally normal to have a good impression of someone, especially after everything that's happened between you. It's not realistic to say that you don't feel anything at all. If you think his attitude is important to you, you should totally take the initiative and ask him directly about his true thoughts and future plans. You'll never know unless you ask!

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I love you, and I think the world would, too!

Hello, question asker!

From what you've told me, I can see you're feeling confused and stuck. But you're also aware of how you feel and you're facing it head on, which is great.

From what you've told me, I can see you're going through a lot. You like him, but he's got a girlfriend. He's flirting with you, but you're not sure what to do.

You know you shouldn't contact him, but your hormones are acting up. You can't just reject him outright, but I want to tell you that you're doing a great job and you're very clear-headed.

From what you've told me, it seems like the guy you like isn't that into you.

He doesn't seem very enthusiastic, especially about replying to messages. It feels like he's stringing you along.

In other words, he'll only come to you when he needs something. If this makes you uncomfortable, I hope you can forgive him.

The thing is, most people like to be admired and like the feeling of being liked. So he'll sometimes give you some ambiguous information.

All problems are our resources. We are experts at solving problems, and in fact, we all have a scale inside. The solution to a problem is just sometimes.

Our stories and hormones might make it tough to make a decision for a moment, but I think you know what you want deep down when you come here.

First of all, I hope you can become more aware of what your emotional feelings are like. What kind of uncomfortable emotions do some of his words bring up in you during your conversations and actions?

What emotions do you feel when he sends you a message? What's the need behind these uncomfortable feelings?

It's important to take some time for yourself to figure out what you really want and need. Once you've done that, you'll be in a better position to make some decisions and choices.

Second, I suggest you try to take your mind off things and think about how you get along with him. You like what he says and does, but you also feel helpless. You're torn between liking him and being rational, but you can't refuse, so my advice is to take your mind off things for now.

Do the things you enjoy, or don't contact him for now. Since he's always reached out, you're in the loop.

You and he have actually developed a habit. You can try to see what it's like when he asks you again, and don't rush to reply to his messages or keep your appointments. Give it a try and see how you feel.

Finally, I want to tell you that since you also feel that his behavior is very strange, it makes you feel very uncomfortable and causes you a lot of distress. My advice is to pay more attention to your feelings.

Take care of yourself. Learn to love yourself, respect your feelings, and protect yourself. As long as you love yourself enough, you'll be able to meet someone who really likes you and makes you happy.