Is it normal to quickly get close to someone and then quickly want to distance yourself?

Good day, question asker.

Many respondents have already provided responses, and I would like to offer a few more in the hope that they will provide some small inspiration.

1. Understand our own patterns of interaction.

You have a good understanding of your own personality and can identify your own characteristics when interacting with others. You can quickly establish a rapport with someone, but then you tend to withdraw again.

It is important to recognise that everyone has a different approach to dealing with people.

It is important to note that everyone has a different perception of what is normal and what is not.

There is no need to doubt your own normality.

Are you familiar with the concept of slow and fast warm-ups?

As a general rule, individuals who require a longer period of time to establish rapport with others tend to accumulate information over time and gradually develop a favorable impression through internal evaluation before they can demonstrate enthusiasm.

Do you find yourself in a different situation?

You are adept at conveying your personality and interests through enthusiasm and a willingness to engage in open communication.

However, such individuals may also experience fatigue more readily, exhibit a decline in enthusiasm, and occasionally demonstrate a lack of follow-through.

Additionally, there are instances where it is initially simple to identify the positive attributes or similarities of another individual, which can foster a sense of comfort.

Over time, you will become aware of the discrepancies between the two individuals, prompting you to maintain a distance.

Or is it due to feelings of insecurity?

Why do we tend to disengage after becoming aware of potential risks?

Is this current pattern of interaction creating issues for you?

Are you able to maintain long-term relationships with others?

Please describe the treatment you receive from others.

You have indicated that you wish to terminate the situation immediately. However, are you truly prepared to do so?

This process will enable us to gain insight into our communication patterns and characteristics.

If this pattern does not align with your preferences, we can implement the necessary adjustments.

2. Remind yourself that you have the ability to make appropriate changes.

2. Remind yourself that you have the ability to make appropriate changes.

If this mode of interaction is not optimal, it is possible to make conscious changes instead of acting on instinct.

As an example, even if there is a perception that there is compatibility and alignment of values, there is the option to adjust the pace at which personal matters are revealed.

As an illustration, if you have disclosed the entirety of your personal information within the initial two-week period, could you limit the disclosure to 50% of the original amount?

Does a certain aspect of your personality reveal itself gradually?

Furthermore, when we observe that other individuals espouse similar perspectives, do we also challenge ourselves to ascertain whether these views align with our own?

It is a fact of life that we all wear masks.

The term has its roots in Greek and originally referred to the mask worn by an actor playing a specific role in a play.

Personality masks enable us to adapt to different environments and interact with a range of individuals effectively.

Take a moment to reflect on your own experience. Do you find that your behavior and approach change over the course of a relationship?

It is important to recognise that everyone has multiple facets to their personality.

This also explains why an individual may exhibit a different behavior in different situations and in front of different people.

It is therefore possible that someone we become familiar with in two weeks may be someone we are familiar with in some ways, but not in others.

As we disclose more about ourselves to one another, we often perceive a growing divergence between our respective perspectives.

Once this concept is grasped, it is possible to adjust expectations regarding social interactions and to allow for a more gradual process of familiarization with others.

It would be beneficial to remind yourself to reveal yourself more slowly, etc.

All relationships are based on a certain degree of mutual understanding and trust.

If you are interested, you can read the article, "What Others Do to You Is What You Teach Them."

Please feel free to share these.

Best regards,

Hello, question asker!

After reading your question, I had a few more questions for you! When did you first notice this pattern? You said "always," so I'm curious, how many people have you been in a relationship with and noticed this pattern? Why do you worry about this situation?

You are a very thoughtful and kind person! You want to make long-term friends and permanent friends when you make friends. You also want to find friends who are kindred spirits. That's why you felt so clear about a friend you thought you knew well after just two weeks. Unfortunately, you felt bad about it because your values don't match. For your kindness and thoughtful nature, I give you a big thumbs-up!

In fact, there's absolutely nothing abnormal about this! Maybe the people you meet at this stage are the ones who have a great relationship with you within two weeks. But after you become close friends, you find that not all of them are that compatible. Isn't there such a great saying?

It's like the waxing and waning of the moon, which shows that if we are at our happiest, we will definitely feel dissatisfied in the future—and that's okay! You are just like the ebb and flow of nature, and you cannot always be at the peak. But that's what makes life exciting!

So I think that this state of yours is perfectly normal. But when you feel too close, you want to distance yourself. I don't know if you've noticed it yourself, but you're saying that some friends, when they distance themselves, distance themselves to a certain extent, but then they feel like getting close again. I think that's what my friends are like. As long as they can maintain a relationship within a flexible limit, I think that's the best kind of friend. It's normal. It's impossible for friends to reach a state of complete satisfaction and maintain that state forever, but that's okay!

I've got some great advice for you! If you make friends in the future, try to get to know them for at least one or two weeks. When you're talking to them, don't reveal everything right away. It's totally fine if you can't do it. Two weeks is a great acquaintance period! Just find your own pace and enjoy life.

I absolutely believe that you will gain so much from making friends! Now, think back to that friend you made. How did they behave differently in different situations? When you became familiar with them, what happened? Some of you, how did you distance yourself from them? After distancing yourself, did you get closer?

Absolutely! All of these experiences are helping us grow!

With all this experience of making friends, I'm sure you'll become an amazing judge of character! You'll know exactly how to keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

I really hope you will make lots of great friends and that you will get along with them perfectly for a long time!

The world and I love you so much!

Hello, question asker! I'm Zi Ding Ya Xiang, and I'm sending you a big, warm hug from across the room.

The issue that the questioner is facing is how people interact with each other.

As the saying goes, "Choose good people to associate with, good books to read, good words to listen to, and good deeds to follow." You will meet many people in life and encounter different stories. No one can be an island, and that's a good thing!

It's so important to have your own principles when you're dealing with others. If you go with the flow and have no direction, it can be really hard to get along with anyone, and it can be tough to have close friends.

When you have accurate principles for making friends, you can get along well with others in the process of making friends.

If you want a long-lasting relationship with someone, I've got three principles for you!

1. It's good to keep some space between you and your partner.

It's so important to maintain an appropriate distance in a long-lasting relationship. That way, you can get along in a balanced way and not easily fall out over minor issues.

Some folks say, "Distance reveals the true character." And it's so true! The longer you spend time with someone, the more you'll see their flaws.

So, when you're first getting to know someone, it's good to keep a little distance. This helps you both stay mysterious and exciting, and it keeps the spark alive. It'll help your relationship grow even stronger!

And another thing! Distance creates beauty. A relationship at a certain distance is less likely to lead to conflicts, and misunderstandings are less likely to arise over trivial matters. This is the kind of friendship that is as clear as water!

Two: Stay humble and keep a low profile.

It's only natural to want to share your good news with those around you. Many people will listen politely, but not everyone is ready or willing to understand.

It's also worth noting that when someone is constantly sharing their happiness, it can sometimes come across as a bit showy. This can make others feel a bit left out or inferior, which is never the intention!

If you can always remain low-key and humble, you'll be able to avoid any people who might try to take advantage of you. You'll also be able to find lots of friendly people who are just like you, who will welcome you with open arms!

So, if you ever feel like you're facing a challenge, you can always take a step back and give yourself some space.

3. Stay confident and independent, my friend!

Remember, you'll never become a burden to your friends if you just stay confident and independent! People who are confident and independent naturally have no shortage of friends.

The wonderful thing about a confident person is that their magnetic field can transmit energy. When life throws us a curveball, it's so important to stay clear-headed but not subservient.

It's so important to have a stable and calm confidence. Try not to be blind, arrogant, self-righteous, or self-deprecating.

It's only natural to feel a little envious when you see your peers shining. But don't let that cloud your judgement! Instead, embrace your own shining qualities and be open and cooperative with others.

Truly confident people are great at making others feel good. They're so confident that they don't have time for putting others down, spreading gossip, or saying anything unkind.

And so they can influence their friends around them.

I hope the questioner will emerge from their confusion soon. It's so important to make friends with yourself and establish your own principles.

Make some true friends!

Hello, host! I'm smiling.

After reading your description, I understand your question better. I want you to know that I'm here for you.

From what you said, it's clear you have ambivalent feelings about relationships. You want to jump into them quickly but are afraid of getting hurt. So, you avoid further development of relationships because you think it will hurt you more. You look for flaws in people as soon as you get to know them so you can use them as excuses to end the relationship.

Look at it from another perspective. Your defense mechanism is affecting you. Let's understand the defense mechanism. It refers to how the self keeps terrible things out of consciousness to reduce or avoid anxiety. In terms of interpersonal relationships, you want to get away quickly to minimize the harm to yourself.

You end this insecure relationship prematurely because you are afraid of being abandoned by others.

I have also summarized some methods to help you alleviate the current situation, and I am confident they will help you to some extent.

(1) Face your fears head-on. Avoidance only leads to further damage.

(2) It is normal for problems to arise when two people get along. As long as they don't involve some issues of principle, they can be resolved through communication. Don't set obstacles for yourself that don't need to be there.

(3) Give yourself the confidence and courage to manage a friendship. Don't give up a friendship because you're afraid of being hurt.

(4) Relax and take things slowly. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. You'll only make things worse for yourself if you do.

(5) Give yourself and others more confidence. Believe that a good friendship will benefit you both.

The world and I love you!

Take care.

Hello!

It's totally normal to feel anxious sometimes.

You shared a way of handling interpersonal relationships, and because this kind of relationship doesn't feel quite right for you, you asked, "Is this normal?"

I can see that you're feeling a little worried about your choice.

I'd really recommend that the questioner watches the latest version of the movie Little Women (the questioner may have already seen it, but I just suddenly associated it with Jo). Jo's pattern of behavior carries your characteristics, and her brightness really makes people feel her deeply proud charm.

It's great that you can socialize with people quickly! It just goes to show that your communication skills are completely fine. And it's totally understandable that you might feel the need to self-disclose. It could be that you didn't receive enough understanding and support in your upbringing, and that your right to speak was suppressed.

There's an inner desire to express oneself, and when they feel that this person can be close to them, they choose to tell their story. When they do, it's a safe, comforting feeling.

It's a great way to let it all out!

But everyone is not a single constant, and they will change. Some will deepen their understanding, while others will feel unable to get close.

It's totally understandable that you felt like you didn't get the understanding and acceptance you were looking for. It can be really hard to face challenges and setbacks when we don't have the tools to overcome them. It's also possible that you didn't have anyone in your family who taught you how to integrate a new magnetic field into your life.

Your writing is so lovely! It's concise, and you have a wonderful sense of freedom and sensitivity.

When it comes to making a decision, you can try putting yourself on hold for a bit. It can be really helpful to go with the flow sometimes, too!

I don't think I need to answer the "normal or not" question anymore, my friend.

We all have our own choices and preferences, and we can just let go of the question of whether something is normal or not.

Treat yourself with kindness and set sail towards the sun!