Is it possible for a person's character to change drastically, so that socializing is no longer tiring and being alone is painful?

Hello, I'm Chen Xiaobin, a listening coach, and I'd be happy to chat with you about this.

I'm curious about what happened in between. I wonder if there has been a change in our perception of socializing. In the past, I spoke little, but I actually had a lot to express inside. However, because I didn't like to talk, I received less attention in crowds and felt a sense of neglect.

I'm not sure what prompted the shift from being antisocial to being social.

I wonder if there are times when you force yourself to express yourself in a situation even if you don't really want to. It can be uncomfortable, but at least you can feel like you're part of a group and distract yourself from the pain you don't want to face.

I'm curious if the socializing you do often these days is a place where people really have common topics to talk about and express themselves from the heart. Or is it more a way to escape the pain of being alone and choose socializing as a way to distract from that pain?

I'm not sure what kind of pain you're referring to.

I believe we can choose to socialize when we feel like it, and if we don't feel like it, we can spend some time developing other interests. When we experience discomfort when we are alone, is this discomfort perhaps a reminder of something that can be adjusted?

Maybe it can help us to face the real us, not because we have to, but because we choose to. Then, whether we're socialising or on our own, we can truly experience inner peace, relaxation and comfort.

Wishing you the best!

Hello. Thank you for your question. I am a quiet student.

You've already identified the conflict in your mind. You want to change, but you're reluctant to do so. You're still affected by past experiences and believe that your previous personality has shaped your current situation.

Secondly, change is a slow process. Give yourself time and a buffer. Don't rush to make a turn all at once. We turn slowly. At the same time, communication is good, but avoid over-communication. Communicate with others, but don't waste time or communicate too often. It will only lead to a whirlpool of communication, wasting time for the sake of communication, while the result is constantly changing.

Finally, being introverted is good. We are introverted, and we embrace it. We prefer to think deeply and seek the essence, which makes us more profound and insightful. The world is colorful, and it needs introverts like us to add different colors. Therefore, being introverted is good.

You also said that you use the excuse of social anxiety as a self-imposed label, which is also a kind of self-denial. Let me put it another way: I am more introverted, and I want to be alone for a while. Do you think that would make you and others feel better?

Even if we are introverts, we crave communication and need friends. We simply don't enjoy spending excessive time on socializing. Therefore, we should occasionally meet up with friends, chat, and identify a few friends with similar temperaments and personalities. We should then engage in deep social interactions. As introverts, we will become tired and frustrated if we make friends with too many people. We will realize that we cannot do so and may even feel inferior to extroverts. However, we should think deeply about hope and realize that deep social interactions can be easier and happier.

OK, thank you for your question. Let me be clear: introverts like to do things alone, and they get tired easily when interacting with others. Then do something that can be accomplished by one person, and you will have a greater sense of accomplishment and competence. Then when you're tired from work, send a message to a few close friends, go on a date, and fully enjoy life. The world and I love you.

Hello! I see that you said your personality used to be introverted, but now it's the opposite. You feel insecure when you're alone, you no longer focus on one thing, you doubt yourself, and you're not sure if you've changed to become extroverted or if you were always extroverted and it's just because of what happened when you were a child that you act introverted. I'd be happy to have a chat with you and discuss your personality.

We all exist in relationships, or in society, and our characters are shaped by the relationships we have with others. You might say that you never liked talking to many people when you were young and you get nervous in these kinds of situations. Then you have been in a relationship since childhood, a family relationship, a relationship with relatives and friends. At this time, your parents had a close and loving relationship, and the family atmosphere was harmonious and peaceful. You grew up healthy, happy and confident. You grew up in this kind of relationship, so you are sunny and cheerful, like to express your inner emotions, and actively face things when they happen. When you meet people, you also happily interact with them. This has shaped your character to be cheerful and outgoing. But when you were young, your behavior was just the opposite. Does this indicate that the environment you grew up in was stressful, that there was no warmth or sense of security in the family relationship, and that you were afraid to face other people and afraid to express yourself, so you developed an introverted and sensitive personality?

Everything is constantly evolving and changing. As you grow up, your inner world becomes richer, your self-confidence grows stronger, and your heart becomes stronger. You realize that communicating with others is meaningful, so you crave attention, are willing to communicate, express your emotions and opinions, and even when you are alone, you will feel anxious and insecure. To sum up, I think you should have been an extrovert in the first place, and it is the environmental impact that makes you feel like an introvert!

I hope your life gets better and better, your heart gets stronger and stronger, and you gradually move towards the light!

I will offer the original poster some consolation.

The questioner's description

Extroverts derive energy from social interaction.

Individuals who are introverted tend to expend a significant amount of energy when engaging in social interactions.

I had previously considered myself to be an introvert.

I remain somewhat skeptical. Over the past two years, I have observed a transformation in my demeanor. Following social interactions that align with my personal norms, I no longer experience fatigue, but rather a sense of well-being.

The questioner's doubts are as follows:

Does one's natural proclivity for extroversion result from childhood experiences, leading to subsequent introversion over time?

Alternatively, will the desire to confide become stronger after a period of prolonged loneliness?

The following are suggestions for the questioner:

It is challenging to make an accurate assessment of an individual based solely on their outward appearance.

The question thus arises as to whether the individual in question is inherently extroverted or introverted, or whether his current state of being has been shaped by the external environment.

From a behavioral perspective, it is a behavioral pattern, not a personality trait.

Some individuals engage in communication with others due to feelings of loneliness and also participate in social activities. However, they may also exhibit introverted tendencies, though to a lesser degree than others. They can be considered moderate introverts.

If one considers the two ends of a scale, with introversion and extroversion as the axes, then kicking the feet may be situated somewhere in the middle.

In essence, regardless of the circumstances, it is preferable for the individual to achieve a state of personal comfort and contentment.

Should one desire communication, one may contact friends. Alternatively, one may choose to remain solitary.

Hello, question asker. I can see you're feeling confused, and I'm here to give you a big hug!

I see you're having a bit of a rough time with people. Don't worry, I'm here for you. Let me give you a big, warm hug.

You used to be very introverted and were particularly afraid of speaking.

It might be because you don't have a lot in common with other people when you talk to them, which can make communication a bit draining.

And in the past two years, you've discovered that you really like to interact with people; it makes you happy!

It's totally normal! We are social animals after all.

And then you realize that you just can't be alone!

Oh, don't you worry, this is totally normal!

I also have 15 to 30 minutes of solitude every day, which I find really helps me reflect on myself.

Now that I've been super busy recently, I've tried to eliminate the time I spend alone, because otherwise I don't have that much time in the day to use it, and I find that it's totally okay!

It really varies from person to person.

If you want to give yourself some time alone every day, that's perfectly okay!

I totally get it! I also find it very hard to be alone. So, you can spend only five to ten minutes alone every day, and that's not a lot.

I really hope the problem you're having gets sorted out soon.

I'm so sorry, but I can only think of these things right now.

I really hope my answer was helpful and inspiring for you! I'm the respondent, and I study hard every day.

Here at Yixinli, we love you and the world loves you too! Wishing you all the best!

Hello, host.

I can relate to this feeling, as I am also more of an introvert. However, being introverted does not necessarily indicate any inherent character flaws. It may be helpful to first accept this aspect of yourself and then observe your inner self.

It might be helpful to try to find a balance between the inside and outside.

When they are alone, they appreciate the peace and quiet that solitude brings.

In their interactions with others, they tend to embrace the current communication atmosphere and find joy in the lively atmosphere it creates.

It could be said that they are focused on the current environment, feeling the present moment, and enjoying the present moment, whether they are alone or in a lively state.

I tend to prefer solitude, as I find it brings a sense of comfort and peace.

I also find great joy in the relaxation and pleasure that communication with family and close friends brings.

It is often thought that most people like extroverts, but it could be argued that there are in fact no absolute extroverts.

It is worth noting that even extroverts experience moments of introversion.

Perhaps it would be more accurate to say that neither extroverts nor introverts are inherently good or bad. What is right for one person may not be right for another.

Everyone is a unique individual. While it is possible to lose your personality, it is not possible to lose yourself.

It might be helpful to remember that there is no such thing as a good or bad personality, only differences. If you can embrace this idea, it might help you to feel less anxious or panicky about your personality.

How might one overcome such emotions?

It might be helpful to view the feeling that you have social phobia as a label that your inner world has given you. This could be your own suggestion that you are afraid of people.

If you feel fear inside, you might find it helpful to take a deep breath and accept the emotion.

You might then like to try to gradually dispel this uneasy feeling and allow your heart to enter a calm state.

Perhaps it would be helpful to become aware of what state you would like to be in.

It might be helpful to remember that everything is a projection of the self. When the mind is calm, it's possible that no howling wind outside can affect you.

It is perfectly fine to be either outgoing or introverted, as long as you are in a state that makes you happy.

I find myself wanting to be lively when I'm lonely, but when things are lively, I find myself wanting to be quiet.

I hope your life is filled with joy and contentment.

I hope this message finds you well. I just wanted to send you a little reminder that I am sending you warm thoughts in June, and I hope that you are having a lovely day.

Hello!

If a person doesn't integrate themselves well during the stage of self-growth and exploration, it can make it tough for them as an adult to connect with the outside world. They might feel more anxiety inside and a sense of dependency might easily arise.

Let me give you a simple example.

If a child with a lively and cheerful personality doesn't learn how to assess their abilities and navigate the world around them during their growth period, they might still seem lively and cheerful as an adult, but it might be because they're lacking a sense of security, not because they're genuinely happy and optimistic.

Let's take the problem description as an example.

It's often said that extroverts gain energy from socializing and that socializing makes them happy. On the other hand, introverts socialize to expend energy and being alone makes them more relaxed. I've always felt that I'm an introvert, and everyone else has thought so since I was a child. I don't say much and I used to expend a lot of energy when socializing, so I feel more relaxed when I'm on my own.

The original personality of the questioner was more introverted (the questioner's subjective self-assessment). This is totally normal! Being alone is more relaxing and enjoyable, while socializing can sometimes make you feel more stressed. So, the questioner can try asking themselves, "How do I feel about myself in social situations? Am I able to express my thoughts and feelings confidently?"

And at the same time, you can gain a clearer understanding of yourself from the feedback of others!

It's totally normal for folks to go through a growth period. It's a time when they can explore themselves and gradually improve their self-understanding through self-observation and self-understanding. When they do that, they can successfully enter the next stage of growth, accept themselves, affirm their self-worth, and clarify what they truly want in their hearts.

Hello there! We've got a great tip for you today. Why not try out some new fields to help you grow and gain a deeper understanding of yourself?

It's often said that extroverts gain energy from socializing and that socializing makes them happy. Introverts, on the other hand, tend to expend energy on socializing and feel more relaxed when they're alone. I've always identified as an introvert, and everyone else has thought so since I was a child. This is because I really do say very little and used to find socializing very draining. I feel more at ease when I'm on my own.

For instance, the questioner has gradually been able to explore themselves, and in the process of continuous experimentation, they have gained a new understanding of themselves. It's totally okay to take your time and don't rush to draw conclusions. Just keep trying different experiences until you are truly convinced of what your heart desires. Maybe the questioner is not defined by an extrovert or introvert personality, but is simply in the process of constantly exploring themselves and the outside world. When they truly find the things and goals they love, their self-worth will be formed, which will deepen their understanding of themselves.

Advice 2: Try to be more tolerant and take responsibility for your emotions.

It's important to remember that "being alone" doesn't mean suffering. It's actually a process of self-healing with a mature mind. We can't always depend on external life, so it's good to "be alone" to re-examine ourselves and unreasonable perceptions. This is a great time to help ourselves find a space to relax while improving our tolerance for pain. This way, we won't act impulsively and pay for the results of our own ill-considered actions.

Tip 3: Have faith in yourself and give yourself a big pat on the back!

Once a person's personality has formed, it's pretty tough to change it later on. So, there's no such thing as a sudden personality change. Whether it's an introvert becoming extroverted or an extrovert becoming introverted, if it's not due to some objective factors or major events, the personality will change somewhat in the process of integrating into the environment. But, it's really hard to completely change.

So, if you notice some changes in your personality, it's totally normal! You can take a moment to re-examine your inner feelings. Why did these changes occur? Do you feel more comfortable with these changes? Use this time to gain a new understanding of your preferences and personality development.

Wishing you all the best!

Good day. I am Yiyashu, the Heart Exploration Coach, and I am pleased to offer my assistance in addressing the challenges you are currently facing.

After reviewing the series of descriptions provided by the questioner, it is evident that the issue of socialization is a significant concern for you. You are seeking to understand the reasons behind your previous apprehension towards socialization and the factors that have contributed to your current inclination towards it.

Indeed, many individuals tend to rely on the relatively simplistic and stereotypical labels of "introvert" and "extrovert" to assess their inclination towards social interaction. This approach, however, fails to provide a comprehensive understanding of the multifaceted nature of human personality.

Indeed, there are a multitude of factors that contribute to an individual's inclination towards socialization.

The conventional meanings of "introvert" and "extrovert" do not align with their psychological definitions. The typical usage of these terms pertains to a person's inclination to engage in verbal communication and their level of activity in social settings. This conventional understanding, however, is not devoid of preconceptions.

For example, individuals may perceive introversion as a mere lack of interest in social interaction, but they may also associate it with negative attributes such as inflexibility, rigidity, and poor interpersonal skills. Conversely, extroversion is often associated with liveliness, friendliness, and popularity.

These are, however, merely prejudices. In reality, the psychological concepts of introversion and extroversion merely represent differences in physiological temperament types, which are solely related to the level of nerve activity in individuals. Some individuals are naturally highly active and require minimal external stimulation, while others are less active and seek interaction with others to prevent boredom.

This is a distinction between the definitions of introversion and extroversion, which can assist the questioner in overcoming certain prejudices regarding their sociability.

The following section will examine whether there are any additional factors that influence the subject's inclination to engage in social interactions.

You previously indicated that you also found social interaction to be a significant source of fatigue, and that you felt more comfortable when you were alone. You also stated that you experience a certain degree of apprehension when you are speaking.

This sentence may prove to be the key to understanding the situation. It seems plausible to suggest that the experience of socializing was perceived as being particularly draining, and that it did not provide the relaxation and happiness that are typically associated with such experiences. In other words, socializing did not have the effect of recharging the individual in question. It is possible that there were a number of concerns, a lack of security, and restrictive beliefs that were affecting the individual when they engaged in socializing, causing them to think a great deal before speaking, which naturally drained them.

People do not engage in activities that do not benefit them. In response to this unfavorable experience, you retreated to your own space and chose to be alone. This does not indicate that you are introverted. The reason you chose to be alone at that time was simply because you were uncomfortable going out and socializing.

Subsequently, one may observe a proclivity towards socialization, rather than an inherent shift towards extroversion. This is due to the fact that solitude is inherently uncomfortable, whereas socialization provides the joy of communication and the company of others, which solitude cannot provide.

This has no bearing on the concepts of introversion or extroversion; rather, it is a matter of personal experience. Individuals are driven to seek out a state of greater comfort and nourishment, and thus they will actively pursue the state that offers them the greatest benefit. To gain a deeper understanding of oneself, it is essential to move beyond the confines of the introversion/extroversion dichotomy.

Same here!

Hello!

The question from the original poster made me think back to my childhood. I was once an introverted child who liked to stay at home alone (hugs~ give a hug to the old me too) and once thought that this was unchangeable. I was just like that...

Based on my own experience and observations, as well as changes I've noticed along the way, I'd like to share some insights with you. :)

First of all, "introverted" and "extroverted" are also over-labelled. For example, introverts are socially anxious, while extroverts are bursting with energy. In fact, this is not the case. Everyone is an independent and unique individual. Different personality factors will become prominent in different situations and stages of life. This is the combined effect of many factors, including social environment, personal experience, personal needs, changes in mentality, etc.

So, you're surprised by this big change, but it's just a normal stage. Go with the flow! The main thing is to be aware (I think you're aware of your own changes and feelings). Enjoy socializing and connecting. What does it mean to be conscious?

As you mentioned, you feel good after socializing, which means your needs have been met. :)

Sometimes we need to spend more time alone to think, get to know ourselves, and heal. Being social allows us to be seen, express ourselves more, interact, and empathize with others. These two will alternate and change as long as you can find a balance. I believe you can definitely enjoy the harmonious coexistence of the two.