Is it really advisable to waste your own time and energy helping others?

Hello, landlord.

First of all, it's always a good idea to help others. I think mutual help and the joy of helping others is a great way to enhance mutual feelings.

Get to know each other, support each other, and make sure they feel secure and at ease.

Since it's not easy to terminate, just keep doing things right. The host may not have the courage to refuse a friend.

It'll damage the relationship and make you look bad. You promised him, but saying no goes against that initial promise.

Just good friends don't need to go to such lengths, but I'm not sure how close this person is to the host. If it's not a close friend or someone not related by blood, just help to the extent possible.

Unless this matter will bring you a lot of honor and benefits, or the host hates rejection more than bearing the pressure.

...You're so busy taking care of everything else that you don't even have time to clear the snow in front of your own door, let alone worry about the other person.

A good friend or relative will stick by you through thick and thin because they know it's worth it.

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People who care about you will understand your struggles, see your commitment and hard work, and won't expect too much from you.

If the other person doesn't recognize your efforts, no matter how much you contribute, it'll just be a joke.

Even if he goes to other colleagues and says that you are cheap labor...

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It's great to help others, but you have to get your own work done first. If you don't have the ability to solve a problem, give the opportunity to someone who is better and more suitable to handle it.

This approach saves you and your colleague time.

You can talk to him about it and see how he reacts. If it's not urgent or if he lets you put it off, then the host doesn't need to worry so much.

Hello,

I see you're confused and powerless. I admire your loyalty to your friend, but you need to assess the situation and your abilities. As the saying goes, "If it is inappropriate, do not make a promise lightly." I think you're now in a bit of a dilemma.

"Honesty is the foundation of all virtues."

You call him a good friend, so I think there is friendship and affection between you. At first, you agreed to help your friend out of affection. If you can resolve things with your efforts, I think your friend will understand. The mountains and water will always be there. I think in the future, if you need help from a good friend, you will ask.

Respect your own feelings. If you've invested too much time and energy, communicate with your friend. He asked for your help, but now you need understanding and support. I don't know what the problem is. Is it a financial or family dispute? If it can be solved with money, free up your time and energy. This is a favor. If your friend comes back, he'll have to invest the same time and energy as you.

If you don't talk to your best friend, it will affect your relationship.

I hope my opinion helps the original poster. I wish him a happy resolution and a good relationship with his friend.

Hello! From your description, I can see that you're facing some challenges. It seems like you want to maintain the friendship, but you're also feeling a bit helpless and confused, and like you don't have much control over the situation.

I'm a psychological counselor, and I'd love to share some insights from a psychological perspective. It's so admirable that you're so helpful to your good friend! It's also a great way to show your own sense of value. You want to prove that friendship is important, and you also want to prove that you're capable!

But if you feel a bit awkward or there's a bit of a conflict between what you need and what others need, you can still make a choice, or you can tell your friends that you did your best! This is a great way to show your friends how much you care about them and help them out, and it can also help you feel less stressed.

I totally get it. My brother, who's a good friend from another city, is struggling to sleep. He's feeling anxious and is really worried about catching the coronavirus at the hospital. I helped him buy the pills and delivered them to him. I've also got things to do on Saturdays and Sundays, but I promised my friend I'd help, so I made time for him. I'm happy to put my own things second. It was so nice to be able to help him out and I'm really happy I was able to put his needs first. He was really grateful and so was his brother.

This is probably the recognition I'd love to get the most, and I can tweak it whenever I'm doing my own thing next.

Your question today depends on how you think about it. If you put friendship first, you can do your best without regrets. You can both gain friendship and feel your own value! It may be a bit troublesome, but you'll be happy you did it when you can be seen and affirmed after doing a good job. And as you have done in your description, you also need support!

We can also do our own thing, and it's so great that the initiative is in our hands! We can also make flexible adjustments. Through thinking and awareness, feel the needs of your heart. But if you blindly give and forget your own needs, excessively care about other people's opinions, and overwork yourself to show off, then you need to weigh up the situation. Perhaps this is also your previous style of doing things, and it needs to be adjusted. Doing your best is the wise choice.

Thank you so much for asking for help today! It has really got me thinking. What we need in a conflict is to think and discuss, and it is only through expression that we can clear our minds and make a more appropriate choice. The world and I love you! You have to learn to love yourself, and then love your friends and family. Come on! The initiative is in your hands, feel with your heart, and do what you can!

Good day. I am the place of peace.

Providing assistance to a close friend requires significant energy and time, in addition to addressing one's own personal matters. The limited availability of resources may lead to feelings of exhaustion and helplessness, particularly when considering the potential termination of support.

The information available from the text is insufficient for a comprehensive understanding of the situation. Additional questions may be necessary to gain further insight, and the researcher may even accompany the subject in their search for answers.

From the description provided, it can be inferred that you are assisting your best friend in navigating family conflicts. However, the specific circumstances remain unclear.

Firstly, it can be reasonably assumed that assisting a friend in resolving familial conflicts is not a straightforward process.

It is unclear what one's response should be when a friend requests assistance. Is it appropriate to offer immediate assistance, or should one hesitate and consider the implications of rejection due to the nature of the friendship?

Alternatively, is it possible that in your subconscious mind, the idea of "rejection" simply does not exist, and are you instead concerned about the potential negative consequences of rejection?

The above represents a hypothesis. If it is inaccurate, please provide the correct information.

Secondly, it would be beneficial to gain a more detailed understanding of the other person's character. It would also be advantageous to ascertain whether the two individuals are able to communicate openly and honestly about their thoughts, feelings, and needs.

Thirdly, the description states that the subject is contemplating the possibility of continuing to provide assistance to the individual in question, as the situation has not yet reached a point where the subject is experiencing personal harm. However, it is evident that a significant amount of energy is being expended on matters pertaining to this individual, which is causing the subject to feel somewhat fatigued.

"I am also somewhat embarrassed to admit that I have terminated the relationship."

From your statements, it is evident that you possess a kind, warmhearted, and sentimental disposition. When a friend sought your assistance, you did not decline. It is reasonable to conclude that you genuinely desire to provide him with aid.

Initially, it is likely that you did not anticipate the extent of the follow-up required, and as time progressed, you became increasingly involved, which also impacted your ability to manage your personal affairs. Presently, you appear to exhibit a sense of being unable to extricate yourself from a complex situation, accompanied by a particular emotional state.

I would like to inquire as to what your genuine thoughts are at this moment. If you persist in providing assistance, what sort of effect will it have on you?

If you were to assign a rating on a scale of 1 to 10, what would be the resulting score?

If you were to cease this process, what difficulties would you anticipate encountering? If you were to rate yourself again on a scale of 1 to 10, what score would you give yourself?

It may be beneficial to find a quiet place, clear one's mind of complex thoughts, and engage in a period of focused introspection. This could involve asking oneself: What are my true thoughts at this moment? What are my needs?

One must consider whether they possess the requisite willingness and courage to express their needs and whether they are capable of assuming responsibility for their decisions.

One's own perspective on one's problems is the most authentic and reliable, as it is shaped by direct experience and emotional investment. Consequently, the solution to one's problems must be found within oneself.

Upon seeking assistance at the platform to gain insight regarding your confusion, it is evident that your self-awareness and inclination towards self-growth have been duly activated. Rather than evading the issue, you have demonstrated a resolute commitment to confronting it directly. This is a commendable approach, and you are a paragon of resilience in navigating life's challenges.

It is possible that, at this juncture, you have already reached a conclusion, yet there may still be a residual degree of uncertainty and concern. It is, after all, inherent to the human experience that life is comprised of uncertainties, and the optimal means of validating these is through action.

Action will yield the requisite answer.

If a decision has been reached, the next step is to take action.

I wish you the best of luck.

Good morning, host. My name is Ma Na, a psychological counselor, and I am writing to share my thoughts with you in the hope that they will be helpful.

Providing assistance to a colleague in need without hesitation demonstrates enthusiasm and commitment. When deciding to assist, it is essential to consider the time and resources required. The decision should be made after weighing all relevant factors.

It is possible that plans may not be able to keep up with changes, that the complexity of things may be beyond your imagination, and that there may be unexpected situations in your real life that require your attention. In light of these considerations, it may be necessary to re-evaluate whether you still have the time and energy to deal with your friend's personal matters in the current external environment.

It is important to note that even close friends cannot handle everything on their friends' behalf. There are still some tasks that require personal attention. As friends, we can only assist with tasks that require immediate attention, but we cannot assume full responsibility for tasks that require significant time and effort.

As your friend, he should not ignore it either. The responsibility for handling this matter lies with him, and you are only offering assistance when needed out of friendship. You should not be burdened with the entire thing.

By modifying the roles of the two parties involved, you should be able to achieve a more relaxed state of mind.

Hello! I'll give you a warm hug from afar first!

I'm so happy I got to read your request for help! I really hope that sharing my experience can give you some support and help. From your description, it's clear that you felt a strong sense of powerlessness and emptiness after enthusiastically offering to help a friend. It's totally normal to feel this way! You were just trying to be seen, understood, and supported, which is a great thing to want.

You may feel exhausted and powerless after helping your friend, but there's a good reason for it! It's because you've chosen to help your friend in a way that's beyond your capabilities. But don't worry! This is a great sign of enthusiasm and kindness. Just remember to take care of yourself first. Once you've taken care of your own life and work, you'll be ready to help your friend in a way that's sustainable for you both.

As adults, we have the amazing ability to assess and judge our abilities and resources when we take the initiative to help and support others. In other words, when you choose to give this friend support and help, you're showing that you're ready to take on more! This is a great sign that you're developing a stronger sense of self in your relationships. When we give help to others, we must first deal with and arrange our own lives. This part of giving help to others will not affect our normal work and life, so you've got this!

Have you ever wondered why you might take the initiative to help others when your abilities and resources may not allow it? It's because you're responding to a certain part of your inner needs that aren't being met through this behavior. For example, you might need to feel needed, valued, and of value to others. So, what's a better way to respond to and satisfy this part of your needs? Try giving strong support and help to friends in need in an area you're good at. And only do so when you've completely arranged your own life and work. This will not only give you a strong sense of accomplishment, value, and satisfaction because you've given strong support and help to others, but it'll also make others feel a strong sense of respect and gratitude towards you!

And you'll feel energized, not drained!

In fact, choosing to blindly give support and help to others beyond your abilities and resources reflects your extreme inferiority complex in relationships and your psychological need to be accepted, seen, valued, cared about, and needed. In other words, this part of your psychological needs was extremely lacking and deficient during your growth process. But now you have the opportunity to heal and grow!

For now, take this sense of inner scarcity and lack with you and heal yourself through active learning and growth. Become a person who is rich enough from the inside out, and then you'll no longer crave external affirmation from others because you'll be internally sure enough of who you are!

And you'll be able to try to be true to yourself in a relationship and guard your own boundaries!

I'm Lily, the little ear of the Q&A Museum! The world and I love you!

Hello, question asker!

From your question, it is clear that helping others is a virtue that deserves recognition.

But in the process of helping, you will undoubtedly encounter the situation you mentioned, which is "tiring."

Here are my analysis and suggestions to help you:

[Understand helping others]

Helping others is an altruistic act. It is a voluntary act of helping others without expecting anything in return.

The questioner is right to say that helping others is a waste of time and energy. It also involves doing a lot of offline things that need to be done.

[It is also good for you.]

Helping others is helping yourself.

The questioner gave up his own time and energy in the process of altruism. In return, he gained a sense of self-worth, the satisfaction of deepening relationships, a sense of accomplishment, and happiness.

Mr. Inamori Kazuo was right when he said, "Living a life with altruistic intentions can enhance one's sense of achievement and happiness, and the ultimate reward will come back to oneself, which is also beneficial."

Altruism is another way to best serve your own interests. You can gain feedback on self-interest from the process of altruism.

[Balance the relationship between the two]

You must strengthen your awareness that helping others is also helping yourself if you want to strike a good balance between self-interest and the interests of others. As the saying goes, "When you give someone a rose, you keep the fragrance in your hands."

It is crucial to maintain boundaries and discernment while helping friends within your limits.

When you are "very overwhelmed" and "a bit tired," as the questioner says, you must fully express this emotional experience to your friend. I am certain that friends facing problems together will find a better solution.

I'm confident this will be helpful.