Is it the right attitude towards marriage and love to be too humble to take the initiative and just wait for fate to strike?

Hello! I'll give you a 360-degree hug.

It's really frustrating when you don't want to engage with people but you're longing for love every day. But we shouldn't expect things to just happen, whether it's work or marriage.

Of course, if you've had a rough experience with men, disregard what I said. This type of person doesn't even need to dress up to attract the attention of the opposite sex.

But the reality is that, even if you have an interesting soul, you can't expect others to discover it through your ordinary appearance. We're all just too busy and too ordinary.

Right now, people who are willing to stand out and show who they are are more likely to get noticed.

This also explains why, in many cases, ugly guys can eventually win over beautiful women. They know they are ugly and need to lower their guard and make the first move. Handsome guys, on the other hand, are mostly a bit proud and are waiting for others to approach them, let alone lower their guard to approach others.

Even if you're a great catch, it's tough to attract others if you don't show yourself.

If you're tired of playing the outgoing role all the time, play it occasionally. Otherwise, just be yourself.

You have to put yourself out there to be seen by others. I don't know your age, but you're taking the initiative to ask a question, which shows you're open to trying something new.

Then you need to think about things a bit differently.

Of course, many people know that they need to go out and take the initiative, but just can't do it. They're afraid of being rejected and of losing face. The truth is, though, that other people don't pay as much attention to us as we think they do. They may laugh, but they'll probably just laugh and forget about it.

Adults aren't idle children who have no time to pay attention to other people's affairs. Don't be misled by TV dramas and novels.

It's unlikely anyone would be interested in playing palace intrigues with us.

I'd recommend you try some exercise, like running or yoga. It'll improve your appearance and help you develop your character, and you can do it on your own.

Then, learn a bit about makeup and dressing, and treat yourself to a little something nice. It's always good to look your best.

You can also talk to a counselor to get a suitable and specific plan.

I'm a counselor who's both Buddhist and pessimistic, but I'm also positive and motivated sometimes. I love the world and I love you.

Hello, question asker!

From your description, I sense that you may be feeling a bit lost and anxious. It's admirable that you've taken the initiative to come here to find someone to talk to and seek answers to your questions. I believe you possess a good sense of awareness and the courage to face problems.

I can relate to your feelings. I'm 32, turning 33 soon, and I experience similar anxieties. It's natural to feel this way, and you're not alone. With time and effort, we can find ways to cope and improve.

Could you tell me what might have happened to make you feel this way? And when do you not feel this way?

If you don't feel this way, could I ask what you're doing and who you're with?

Could I ask what kind of place you mean? I believe that being more aware of these things might help you find feelings that make you feel comfortable and give you strength.

From your description, I can tell that you are a caring and dedicated person, and it seems like you're looking for a partner who is comfortable and accommodating. Is that right?

From your description, it seems that you may be lowering your expectations for what you consider a suitable partner. It's important to remember that what truly belongs to you should not be compromised.

It might be said that marriage really requires fate. I can understand the feeling of being urged to get married by parents, as I was often urged to get married myself. However, it is important to remember that life is our own, and we still need to choose and take responsibility for ourselves.

It's not uncommon to experience feelings of inadequacy in life. I've also faced this challenge. However, it's important to recognize that these feelings are normal and can be overcome.

If you have experienced a miracle and found the right partner, I would like to invite you to reflect on how you would feel if this happened to someone else.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider who might notice your change.

I'm not aware of the specifics of your situation, but I'd like to offer some modest suggestions based on my own experience, in the hope that they might be helpful to you in rebuilding your inner self.

If I might suggest, it could be helpful to adjust your mindset and believe in yourself.

I was deeply touched by your description. I can relate to the feeling of anxiety and confusion that comes with the thought of not getting married. It's a normal emotion, but when I'm in a good mood and feeling confident, it doesn't manifest in the same way. I'm curious if you've experienced something similar?

From this perspective, it is often our perception and emotions that shape our inner feelings. By adjusting our mentality, we can cultivate a sense of courage and strength, which can serve as a valuable source of support. With a positive mentality, we can develop confidence and a sense of self-belief.

It may be helpful to consider that we can adjust our state of mind through self-suggestion, and that decisions are an important aspect of this process.

Secondly, it would be beneficial to learn how to release negative emotions.

When we experience this uncomfortable feeling, it can become increasingly difficult to find a way out. Prolonged feelings like this can drain our energy. It may therefore be helpful to learn to let go of these negative emotions. You might like to try talking to someone, keeping a diary, or letting out your emotions through exercise. During exercise, dopamine is produced, which gives us a sense of pleasure and can be particularly effective for our emotions. You might also like to consider going for a walk and taking a look at the outside world and environment, which could also help your mood and may even bring you some new opportunities.

And then, you might consider that your hobbies could be a way to constantly improve yourself.

During my studies in psychology, my hypnosis teacher often suggested that marriage might be a good option for me. While he wasn't a life saver, he was a valuable source of guidance. I came to realize that it's important to find our own path and shine on our own stage. This helps us gain confidence, relax, and wait for our chance. It also allows us to constantly improve ourselves through hobbies and make our lives wonderful. Then, good things will come to us.

If I might make one more suggestion, it would be to believe together and firmly believe that in the process of constantly improving ourselves and adjusting our state of mind, we will shine on our respective stages. In this way, we can truly be happy.

Hello! It seems like you're a bit uncertain about your love life.

You haven't found the ideal partner yet, which makes you a little unsure of your views on marriage. On the other hand, you don't want to marry just to please your parents. You're torn between these two conflicting feelings. We understand how you feel!

What does marriage mean to you?

It's evident that you have a beautiful vision of marriage. You're seeking a lifelong bond of love, and while you haven't yet met your ideal partner, it's clear that this is your spiritual pursuit.

You're looking for love and a soul mate with the same level and similar thoughts. With this spiritual pursuit, what kind of life do you expect marriage to bring you?

You haven't found your ideal partner yet, and your parents are pushing you to get married. You're thinking about not pursuing love anymore and just getting the marriage done as a task first.

If you see marriage as a task, who gave you this task? What do you think completing this task will bring you?

What kind of life can this marriage for the purpose of completing a task bring you?

No matter what you choose, marriage is the most important thing in your life. Your decision will affect how you spend the rest of your life.

This life is all about you. You're the only one who gets to experience the sweetness and bitterness of it. So when you say that it doesn't matter if it doesn't work out or if you break up, have you really thought about setting such a high risk factor for your future?

How do we balance our vision with reality?

I think you're missing a few key factors here.

You said you want to find someone you can be with through thick and thin until old age. You also said you want to find a soul mate with the same level of thinking and a common mindset. That's a beautiful vision, and there's nothing wrong with it.

You said that if you can't find someone you really like, it's enough to find someone who is upright, kind, honest, reliable, and can take care of each other, respect each other, and support each other. I'm a bit confused because I don't see why someone who is upright, kind, honest, reliable, and can take care of each other, respect each other, and support each other isn't worth liking.

You said that if you can't find someone you really like, it's fine to find someone who is honest, kind, reliable, and can take care of each other, respect each other, and support each other. I'm a bit confused, though, because I don't understand why someone who is honest, kind, reliable, and can take care of each other, respect each other, and support each other isn't worth liking.

It seems like the level you mentioned, with the same mindset, is lacking a bit of concrete content, which makes the search process a bit directionless.

It seems like the level you mentioned, with the same mindset, is lacking a bit of concrete content, which makes the search a bit directionless.

You can link your thoughts to specific factors like personality, character, and abilities to figure out what kind of person you like. This will help you see things more clearly so you don't miss out on the right person when you meet them.

You can link your thoughts to specific factors like personality, character, and abilities to figure out exactly what you're looking for. That way, you'll know what to look for and you'll be able to spot that special person when you meet them.

Marriage and love are two different things. Love is always changing, and no matter how much you love someone, you still need to work at it. In a long-term marriage, it's more important to get along with each other, care for each other, respect each other, and support each other than to simply love each other.

Marriage and love are two different things. Love is always changing, and no matter how much you love someone, it still needs to be worked on. In a long-term marriage, getting along with each other, caring for each other, respecting each other, and supporting each other is more important and a more stable foundation.

Make sure you bring what you want from a marriage into your relationship and then see if it's a good fit.

It's a lifelong process to grow up.

You say that if you can't find a suitable partner, you can focus on improving yourself and becoming strong enough to stand on your own two feet. This kind of thinking is very valuable and worthy of recognition.

But this self-improvement has nothing to do with what kind of partner you find. It's something you have to work on yourself.

Finding a suitable partner means always trying to improve yourself and become a better person. It's important to stay in sync with your partner to keep the relationship strong. If one person stops trying, it can negatively impact the relationship.

You say you feel a bit inferior and are afraid to take the initiative to find your destiny, so you're just waiting around. It seems like your sense of self-worth is a little low, which makes you lack confidence in relationships.

Instead of waiting around, you might want to consider growing as quickly as possible. If you do, you'll attract the right opportunities.

If you focus on improving yourself, you'll have a clearer direction for the future. Your inner strength will give you the courage to pursue what you want, and you'll attract better people to come to your side.

I hope this is helpful. I'm Teng Ying, a psychological counselor. Best of luck to you!

Hello, I'm Strawberry. Thanks for inviting me to answer.

We've all been there, seeing the confessions and troubles of the questioner and feeling the yearning for love. As we grow up, we gradually realize that many situations are not as rosy as they seem. We also have doubts about love in general and are reluctant to take the plunge.

Because of his personality, the questioner is pretty passive when it comes to love. He always waits for the right opportunity to arise. After waiting for many years without success, he began to face pressure from his parents to get married. This changed his views on marriage.

What are your thoughts on marriage?

The questioner's vision of love is to love each other, get married, and grow old together. This kind of marriage is beautiful, but not many people can achieve it. The questioner feels that marriage is sacred and must be based on love. However, many couples can also obtain happiness after marriage if they manage it well, even if they didn't have a relationship before marriage.

So, it's not the question asker's view of marriage that's the issue, but rather that we've learned more as we've grown up and convinced ourselves that a good marriage doesn't necessarily have to be from love to marriage. Even if we change in marriage, it doesn't mean we can just find someone to settle down with.

There's no rule that says we have to get married, have kids, and start a family to be successful. Pursuing different interests means taking different paths in life. When you choose to get married, it just means that the person you meet can still inspire you in some way, creating a future where you can work together.

Stay true to your principles.

We all have our own standards when it comes to choosing a spouse. It's important not to let external factors make us lower our standards against our will. If we discover that the other person's standards are too different from our own, it can lead to a lack of interest and a dulling of the relationship.

The criteria for choosing a spouse also include three views. We know what kind of partner we want to have. The questioner feels that their level of marriage pursuit has been lowered, but it is difficult for many people to care for, respect, and support each other. There is no love in the words, but love is shown everywhere. With dedication, such a married life is not difficult to have.

Stay true to your own inner choice. If you meet the right person on the road to love, maybe taking the initiative can help you achieve happiness more quickly. Whether it's love or marriage, both parties need to work together and take the initiative to maintain it.

Focus on self-improvement and boost your self-confidence.

The questioner has a pretty good idea of what she wants out of life after marriage. She's mentally prepared for whatever comes her way, but it's still just guesswork. It also shows that she's not fully confident in herself, because she doesn't think she has what it takes to run a good marriage.

Try to overcome your inferiority complex. People often change their personalities due to their environment and the people they interact with. You can enrich your life by increasing your hobbies. While doing so, you can also expand your social circle and make more friends with a positive and optimistic attitude. This way, you can learn from each other's strengths.

Keep learning. Knowledge can give us confidence from the inside out. Our appearance will change over time, but inner knowledge will make us more refined. We are always working towards becoming our best selves, and it's never too late to start.

I'd also suggest checking out "You are the Answer" and "The Power of Self-Growth." When we can change ourselves, we naturally also have the ability to achieve happiness.

I hope my answer is helpful to the questioner. Best wishes!

Hello, I am Fly, a heart exploration coach.

Love is a beautiful and timeless topic, and people are full of infinite pursuits and fantasies about it. The tragic endings of "The Butterfly Lovers" and "Romeo and Juliet" only make people yearn for love more. The love between the 100-year-old couple Yang Jiang and Qian Zhongshu, including the love letters written to their loved ones by the beloved Premier Zhou Enlai, all show the undeniable attraction of love to mankind.

The idea of finding love that nourishes and heals and lasts a lifetime is wonderful. But now, in the face of pressure to get married and social pressure, inferiority makes you doubt your beliefs about love and whether you should settle for a shoddy completion of life's lessons.

You have the power to make your own choices in your own life.

You should focus on your own happiness when you fall in love, get married, and have children. Don't worry about fulfilling your parents' wishes, easing their anxiety, or solving any social problems.

We are great, and the world is made up of each of our small selves. We are also very small, but we can take care of our own world.

It's like a clock: the hour, minute, and second hands each have their own trajectory and rhythm. If the second hand blindly pursues the same result as the hour hand, it loses the harmony and accuracy of time. You are the same: you have your own trajectory in life, and you don't have to compare yourself to others completely.

Furthermore, parents' anxiety is the norm. When we were young, they hoped we would grow up. When we had a crush, they worried that it would affect our studies. When we reached adulthood and had no partner, they worried that we would never get married. They will still worry about you when you get married, whether you are doing well or not. Even if your children have children and grandchildren, they will still worry because parents' love and care for their children is involuntary.

Secondly, everyone is inferior, and it also has power.

We all have inferiority complexes, and they help us become better and more powerful. When we are in the process of self-exploration, we will get to know, understand, and accept ourselves. Our inferiority complexes will turn into self-confidence.

I know what I can and cannot do. You can take the initiative to create opportunities to expand your social circle, ask friends and relatives for introductions, and look for dating platforms to participate in matchmaking activities.

Invest in yourself to become better and more brilliant. Don't let people and things around you interfere with your rhythm, judgment, or decisions.

If you don't set off, you'll never arrive. Be brave and be yourself.

Take action. That's the only way to build self-confidence. Create a desire, then put it into practice. In the process, you'll accumulate experience, develop abilities, and become confident, enhance your sense of self-esteem, and love yourself more.

Desire – try – experience – ability (even a thief has the ability to get others' approval) – confidence – self-respect – self-love.

The longing and disappointment of love: when the longing increases and the disappointment decreases, love will naturally follow; if the disappointment increases and the longing decreases, love will quietly go away. Keep your dreams in your heart, because they will come true.

If you want to learn to swim, jump in the water. If you want to learn to dance, step onto the dance floor.

I am confident that the above will be helpful to you. I love you, and so does the world.

If you want to continue communicating, click "Find a coach" in the upper right corner or at the bottom. I will communicate and grow with you one-on-one.