Is it unethical to go to a social gathering when pursued by someone?

Hello. I can see that you have been trying to find reasons to try it with him. He may not be the ideal partner for you, and you may be afraid that you will hold on to his faults and regret it. You may also be afraid to introduce him to your friends. You may not be sure if he is the one for you. From this, it seems that you have a lot of uncertainty about your feelings for this guy. The emotions that need to be convinced to find reasons to try are relatively passive, a bit reluctant to give up, but not enough to love.

You are single and don't seem to have made any definite commitment to a relationship with this guy. From this perspective, it is your freedom to attend the mixer. You are worried about how the guy will react and what impact it will have on your relationship, so it seems that the root of the problem is still with you and this guy.

It might be helpful to take some time to think about what your ideal partner would be like and what kind of intimate relationship you would like to have. Then, you can consider what this guy is like and whether there are ways in which he could improve. Do you think these shortcomings can be made up for through his efforts? What changes would you like him to make? Is he willing and able to cooperate? Also, are there any ideal needs that you feel you are willing to give in/compromise on?

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider whether there is any possibility of narrowing the gap in the future.

At the same time, you feel quite happy spending time with him, and you care about his feelings. You are concerned that not cherishing him enough may cause him to leave. For this part of "care" and "reluctant to let go," you might consider what factors are involved. For example, is it more because he is good to you and has given you a lot, so you are reluctant to let go of the care you already have?

Or could it be that you have been persuading yourself to try it, and you have actually put in a lot of effort?

It might be helpful to consider whether this "care" and "reluctance to part" is more related to the past six months or the future. For instance, it could be that you're concerned about the possibility of losing him in the future, which would be a significant loss. Alternatively, if this is more about the past, it could be a factor of "silent cost." Either way, it's important to understand what's driving your feelings.

Hello, I am a Heart Detective coach, Gu Daoxi Feng Shou Lu.

As a woman, I can relate to the questioner's feelings of insecurity. It would be helpful to understand the environment in which the questioner grew up. Allowing the questioner to experience the natural fear of love and marriage, while also becoming aware of one's own love personality, could potentially help the questioner to better understand their own feelings.

It seems that the questioner is not sure whether they want to continue the relationship or not, but they are not afraid of losing the other person. I believe that this person may be a good choice for marriage, even if they are not the ideal romantic partner. This could be why the questioner feels so torn.

People tend to value the most what they cannot get and what they have lost. It would be helpful to understand whether the questioner is concerned about the other person leaving because of love, or if they are worried that they will not meet someone as warm as him in the future. These two experiences are actually quite different. It may be helpful for the questioner to try to distinguish between them.

If someone has been pursuing you for most of the year and you have not explicitly expressed your rejection, it may lead the questioner to feel a sense of moral pressure and think that it is not a kind thing to go to a networking event. If the questioner has a strong sense of morality, it may induce a sense of guilt and unease in the questioner.

When we feel this sense of uncertainty inside, it may be a better solution to try to face it and solve it. Otherwise, the questioner may always be depressed with this sense of uncertainty and regret. The questioner may wish to consider confessing to the other party or taking him to such an occasion, which will allow the questioner to intuitively feel the difference between him and others.

To love someone is to know all of their flaws, but still be willing to tolerate and stay with them. It is possible that love may not be the appropriate word if you appreciate their good points but cannot tolerate their flaws. It might be helpful for the questioner to consider their own standards for choosing a spouse, how much their partner's performance has met those standards, and whether they are willing to give up all possibilities for their partner. If the answer is no, it might be beneficial for the questioner to think carefully.

It's not always the case that someone goes from being in a relationship to getting married. The questioner may not necessarily feel the need to rush into marriage. If you allow yourself to get married without making comparisons or making a choice, it could potentially lead to feelings of regret. Having observed unhappy marriages, it's understandable that the questioner might feel uneasy about the reliability of relationships. By trying to understand your own feelings, you can help the questioner adjust their relationship personality in a way that feels comfortable for them.

Perhaps it would be helpful to ask yourself whether you would feel regret and remorse if you missed the other person. What might be the reasons for such feelings?

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider how you would feel if you had rejected the other person. Asking yourself what you truly want may help you figure out what you really want.

It is important to remember that attending a mixer does not necessarily mean betrayal. The questioner may not yet have entered into a clear relationship with the other party. Similarly, attending a mixer does not necessarily mean that the questioner is looking for a partner. It can be helpful to remind yourself that learning about different people may help you understand yourself better and see your own heart more clearly, which may in turn help the questioner feel better.

It might be helpful to try to learn to love yourself well before entering a relationship. When we are rich inside, it may help to reduce our sense of unease, and when we have the ability to pay for the results, it may also help to reduce our unease about making decisions.

It might be helpful for the questioner to read "If I Knew Before Marriage" and "How to Hug a Hedgehog." These books may assist the questioner in understanding their desires more clearly.

I wish you the best!

Hello, dear question asker!

I totally get where you're coming from. You're not exactly thrilled, but you're not ready to give up, either.

It's totally normal to worry that you'll make the wrong choice.

It's great that you're being so cautious about your marriage!

Because you value it so much, I know you'll cherish it even more once you choose him. I truly believe that once you do, you'll be devoted to him.

It's totally normal to feel this way! It's just that you don't have much to compare it with. If there were ten people chasing you at the same time and you were most comfortable with him, you'd probably choose him without a second thought. But because there are still other uncertainties, you want to try to find out if there is really a Mr. Right out there.

If he knows you went to a mixer, then just put yourself in his shoes for a second and think about what he would think.

Even though you haven't confirmed the relationship, you've been in an ambiguous relationship for half a year and have developed feelings for each other.

Even if you go, you won't be in a confirmed relationship yet, and he can't say anything to you. But this might also affect your relationship, which is totally understandable!

It's so important to be clear about what you really want, sweetheart.

Let's say you go to the fruit shop to buy fruit. You might initially want to buy bananas, but then you see that the apples are fresh and buy those instead.

Some folks go home after buying bananas without buying anything else.

The truth is, he didn't really want to buy bananas. He was actually looking for fresh fruit!

So, what's really on your mind?

What are the good things about the guy you like?

I'd love to hear about your minefields!

I know it can be hard to think about, but even if you don't choose this guy, will you definitely find your Mr. Right? It's not necessarily so.

It's so hard to say how long it'll take to find true love. Some people are lucky enough to find it, while others never do.

The most important thing is whether you'll regret choosing him. I know it's a tough decision, but I'm here to support you!

I really hope that when all is said and done, the person you choose is someone you'll never regret choosing.