It's painful not being able to let go of a married man. Can anyone help me?

Hello, questioner!

You're suffering so much because you've placed so many expectations and desires in this person or your relationship! You want to be satisfied this time and you want to continue next time. These things have made you transcend the mundane and the moral. These desires are precisely what you need to deal with. Judging from your description, I think this relationship must have fulfilled your deep desires! Perhaps it gave you a deep sense of identity or connection.

That's one way of thinking—and a great way at that!

First, deal with the emotions, then deal with the issues. That is to say, deal with the emotions, let go of them while exploring your desires (needs), understand your complexes, and discover what you need to learn from them!

There are so many ways to deal with emotions! Some are simple and straightforward, while others are more creative and allow you to release pent-up feelings. Writing, hypnosis, and other techniques can all be useful. And remember, this process is iterative, which means you'll have periods of calm and periods of collapse. But that's okay! It's all part of the journey.

But for anyone, you've got to stick it out and face your challenges head-on!

Second, it's time to figure out what you want most! Start with the smaller things in this matter, such as these questions: If he comes back, will you come back too?

Once, twice? And then?

And if he's willing to divorce for you?

What would you do? Absolutely! You can absolutely manage your relationship in the future.

What if he no longer needs you? You can absolutely let go!

And so on. You can absolutely let go! Ask yourself honestly: How do you want things to develop?

How far can you go? The possibilities are endless! While you may be limited by your current perception at first, that's okay. Just take your time and find the answers you're looking for!

Each of us is responsible for ourselves and our own interests (what we value most). He has a family, he has a foothold in society, and he must be thinking and considering what is best for him. Everyone has what they value most, and that's a wonderful thing!

In addition, some of the things you said are actually not very defensible. For example, you respect his relationship with his wife, you don't want to destroy the other person's family, but you want to meet every six months. But I think what it means for you to meet means that you can completely treat the other person as a friend, which is great! When we talk about many things, there are implicit rules that we don't mention, but they exist, and they're there to help us!

For example, for the most part, a person can only love one person at a time, and a person can only have one main partner in society. There are also the social rules I mentioned in the last paragraph, such as cheating, which are in themselves some social pressures.

Absolutely! You can have expectations. But are you aware that you're being pulled along by the other person? Even letting go is passive letting go.

So, let's start by dealing with our own lives and emotions! That's the key to everything.

Wishing you all the best!

Hello!

I understand your pain and confusion. It's hard to accept and let go of an emotional entanglement with a married man who returns to his family.

This is hard, so give yourself a hug!

Now, let's look at why it's hard to accept and let go.

First, you're emotionally attached. You may have developed an attachment to this man.

When your dependence is suddenly interrupted, you will feel pain.

You also find it hard to accept that he is married.

Your relationship ends badly, and you'll miss him.

You've been involved in a project, putting in a lot of time and effort, but it wasn't completed. You find it hard to detach and always think about it, wondering what would have happened if you'd made different choices.

This is how an "unfinished event" affects you psychologically.

Let's look at ways to calm down and get better.

First, accept the reality. He has chosen his family, and your relationship is over.

Accepting this is the first step to recovery.

Second, get support. Talk to friends, family, or a counselor.

They can help you.

Third, try to get busy with new activities or interests. This can help you think less about him.

Fourth, reflect and learn from your experience. This can help you avoid getting into similar situations in the future.

Time is the best healer. You will get over this and return to your previous peaceful life.

Time will heal you. I love you!

Hello, I'm Gu Daoxi, aka Fengshou Skinny Donkey, your Heart Detective coach.

I once read a saying that I think is pretty apt here: meeting the right person at the right time is a kind of fate; meeting the wrong person at the right time is a kind of misfortune; meeting the right person at the wrong time is a kind of helplessness; meeting the wrong person at the wrong time is a kind of cruelty. The topic author's current heartbreak is really heartbreaking. I'm really sorry to hear that. Please allow me to give the topic author a hug.

I'm curious about the questioner's family of origin. If the questioner hasn't been loved or treasured properly in their original family, it's understandable why someone like this would catch the questioner's eye.

From what the OP said, he's great at taking care of me. He always books the best hotels for our trips and is very generous with the details. It's clear that the other person is a very caring person, and such a person will make girls, especially those who haven't been loved well, defenseless. It's perhaps not surprising that the OP will fall in love.

As the old saying goes, "A stranger is like jade, a gentleman is unparalleled in the world." Many people can't resist a warm person's confession. The questioner might be able to tell themselves it's not their fault. But they'll probably try to figure out what's really going on with the other person's love:

A responsible person doesn't hurt two people at once. After hurting OP, the other person said they couldn't leave their family. How much did the other person really love OP?

Sometimes, backing off can be the best way to solve problems. On the one hand, the other person is trying to win the sympathy of the questioner by sharing their difficult situation. This makes it easier for him to withdraw smoothly. On the other hand, he's offering compensation to the questioner. Is there an element of trying to appease the questioner and make the breakup go smoothly?

The two of them just aren't suited to a relationship with a third person involved. The questioner said that he didn't want to ruin the other person's relationship, but maybe the moment he chose the other person was meant for this day to come. Nothing can stop the wind from blowing through a wall. The other person's frequent absences from the family will be discovered sooner or later. The questioner might as well face the truth.

The questioner said that hatred is also love. Is that really the case? There may be some things in the questioner's emotions that she doesn't like, such as the other person's decisive breakup, or the other person provoking the questioner even though they know that the questioner will not divorce. For example, the other person has chosen to return to their family, leaving nothing behind and without any mental burden, but leaving the questioner sad.

If the other person really loved OP, they might not have hurt her so much even though they knew they couldn't be together. OP might try to see things from the other person's perspective and figure out if they're truly happy for her or if they love her.

The questioner may want to take a step back and look at this relationship from a distance. As the saying goes, "the beholder is clearer than the subject." When we step out of our own perspective, we'll be more objective.

Take it easy and give yourself time to heal. We all experience emotional pain on the road to love, but try to turn these experiences into lessons for your growth. Learn from your mistakes and you'll gain strength.

If you're really struggling and can't get through it alone, it might be helpful to speak to a counselor, a listener, or other professionals to help you work through your emotions and recover at your own pace.

"Know Thyself: Why Do We Punish Ourselves for the Mistakes of Others?" explains that we hurt ourselves because of other people's mistakes because of the instinct of emotional catharsis and the wrong way to retaliate.

The questioner might try to shift their focus from the other person to caring for themselves. The other person's actions may not be worth the tears, and no matter how much the questioner hurts themselves, the other person's concern may be out of fear that the questioner will make a scene and affect the stability of their family.

The original poster might want to try developing new interests to take their mind off things.

Forgetting someone and starting a new life really does take a long time. Give yourself the time you need to heal. Recommended reading: "Maybe you should talk to someone" and "When you start loving yourself, the world will come and love you back."

Wishing you the best!

The question from the original poster recalled a similar inquiry from a netizen. She also stated that following the dissolution of the relationship, she found it challenging to move on and could not erase memories of her former partner. She engaged in various activities to enhance her well-being in an attempt to overcome these memories, yet she remained unable to do so. She failed to recognize that her actions were not genuinely aimed at achieving personal fulfillment but rather at suppressing the memory of her former partner.

On the surface, the objective is to achieve personal happiness. However, at a deeper level, there is still a strong emotional bond with the other person, which is constantly being reinforced. Consequently, if one is constantly reminded of this bond, it becomes difficult to move on.

This is also the case with the questioner. He is aware that he should cease indulging in the emotional state associated with the relationship and instead focus on the tangible reality of the situation. However, he is reluctant to accept the sudden loss of the profound pleasure derived from investing a significant amount of emotional energy in the relationship. He continues to fantasize that the other person will change their mind and resume the relationship. This internal conflict between the emotional self and the rational self is a source of significant distress for the questioner.

It is important to recognise that relationships are not a game, nor are they a transaction. When the fun is over, everyone goes their separate ways. The time, energy, and effort invested in a relationship, especially emotional investment, cannot be measured in monetary terms. This is the reason why the questioner is still unable to let go, even though the other person gave the questioner a significant sum of money. The difference is that the questioner invested his emotions in a man with a family, and from the beginning it was destined that the questioner's relationship would end in tragedy.

Some may argue that this is not an appropriate assessment. How can it be considered a tragedy when two individuals are simply seeking happiness? It is accurate to conclude that they are seeking happiness, but the other person is also relinquishing a portion of their responsibility to their wife and family while pursuing happiness with the questioner, and is also being irresponsible to the questioner.

In accepting the other person's declaration of affection, the questioner and the other party relinquished their individual responsibility. Neither party assumed responsibility for themselves. It is implausible that such a relationship, lacking a foundation of responsibility, could continue to develop in a stable and harmonious way without ending in tragedy. When one invests their emotions and efforts, one will expect a return. When expectations are not met, it will lead to pain and disappointment. This is human nature and is not dependent on personal will.

Therefore, rather than attempting to suppress this emotional experience, it is more beneficial to accept it and allow oneself to experience the pain associated with it.

The aforementioned reasons contribute to the questioner's current situation, as does the fact that the questioner's romantic life is not going well. Should the questioner encounter a single male partner who is more suitable and brings the questioner greater happiness, it is likely that the questioner would no longer experience the same level of distress and difficulties.

It is this author's opinion that the questioner may benefit from directing some of his energy toward introspection regarding his desired lifestyle, particularly in regard to relationships. Utilizing an adult perspective to examine one's thoughts and needs may facilitate the discovery of an answer. Additionally, it is important to recognize that both relationships and life necessitate a degree of responsibility. A responsible relationship and life can be conceptualized as an additional layer of protection.

It is sufficient to experience such pain on a single occasion. Should one fail to reflect on the experience and continue in the same manner, the inevitable consequence is that the sole sufferer will be oneself. The aforementioned opinions are personal and offered for the questioner's consideration.

Dear Sir/Madam, I have carefully read your description. It is clear that you are experiencing distress as a result of the recent heartbreak. You have expressed feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, given that you had formed a strong bond with someone who has now departed from your life. I hope you will find the following advice helpful. Best regards, [Name]

He is perceived as almost perfect, and you are in love. However, if circumstances require a separation, you will experience significant distress. Perhaps you believe that his lack of interest will alleviate your pain. His continued involvement may provide a sense of accountability. However, the reality of the situation should have been anticipated. It was evident from the outset that this relationship was not destined to succeed. The eventual separation was inevitable.

The nature of your relationship is one of need. When you are together, he can temporarily put aside the trivial matters of life and enjoy the warmth and romance of being with you. You can also satisfy your inner needs for affection. While a relationship that doesn't involve the daily grind of life is undoubtedly beneficial, it is not meant to be a long-term solution, as life is what matters most.

Your negative feelings towards him are a result of his decisive actions. You demonstrate understanding, yet you are unable to accept his decisions. This causes you distress and internal conflict, as you struggle to balance your id and superego. Additionally, you are dealing with the loss of a loved one and the end of a relationship, as well as the denial of your own abilities and value. You believe you are unable to love again and that you will never meet someone better than him. These are all common stages of a breakup.

The key to letting go is to recognize that you want to forget, but you can't. It's not about finding a quick exit; it's about recognizing that you can get out. To do so, you have to view this relationship as a potential source of growth. Have you ever considered that the pain you're experiencing may not be solely due to the other person's departure? It's possible that your need for a relationship to fulfill you is causing this pain.

If you are overly attached to someone, it indicates an internal deficiency. The individual in question may have appeared and filled a perceived lack in your life. However, if they are willing to end the relationship, you will still be unable to control yourself. This is because you have not addressed your own shortcomings and are seeking compensation in them. You have mistaken the individual for a savior, when in fact, the only one who can help you is yourself. The reason you are affected by this lack and lose yourself is because your emotional resilience is not strong enough.

It is crucial to prioritize self-management and personal growth at this stage. Focus on pursuing education, employment, and enhancing your knowledge base. Nurture your emotional well-being to better embrace future relationships, explore your options, and let go of what is no longer beneficial. Only when you have a comprehensive understanding of yourself can you rely on your own strengths to navigate life's challenges. When facing transitions, such as separation and reunion, you can embrace the change with clarity and ease.

Good day. I am Bai Li Yina, the individual who will respond to your inquiry. It is my hope that my reply will provide you with a sense of warmth and assistance.

The questioner revealed that she had fallen in love with a married man. However, following the discovery of the relationship by his family, he terminated it and returned to his marital home. This turn of events caused her considerable distress, leading her to perceive him as callous and lacking in affection. Despite her efforts to suppress her feelings for him, she found it increasingly challenging to do so. What course of action should she pursue?

[Situation analysis]

Despite initial hesitancy and struggles, you ultimately felt a profound sense of love due to the compatibility and fit in all aspects of the relationship. You attempted to avoid placing demands or restrictions on each other, believing this would allow you to love each other without causing harm to his family, respect his relationship with his wife, and maintain a silent, loving relationship while seeing him once every six months. You did not want to cause the destruction of his family and felt you had done everything you could. However, you were tragically abandoned by him, which caused you immense pain and a sense of horror at his selfishness. How might you begin to heal from this hurt?

[Questions to ponder]

1. Prior to meeting your partner, what were your expectations regarding love and marriage? Did you anticipate that your partner would be devoted to you and love you?

2. When in his presence, do you perceive that his demeanor of gentleness and consideration, his care for you, and his willingness to expend significant resources on you are predicated on the assumption that you are submissive and do not exert pressure on him? You provide him with the positive emotional state associated with love without requesting his commitment to a long-term relationship. If you were not present, would he still exhibit such behaviors?

One might inquire whether his love for her is conditional.

3. Would you be amenable to marrying him, starting a family, and bearing his children if he were willing to divorce for you? Do you anticipate that your role as his wife might lead to concerns about his interactions with other women, potentially resulting in his departure from the marriage and the subsequent responsibility of caring for children?

Do you ever experience feelings of unease when in his presence?

4. Is the love you feel for him based on sexual attraction or emotional intimacy? Is it a short-term or long-term attachment?

Have you previously experienced the pain associated with a romantic relationship dissolution? How did you cope with this situation?

It is recommended that the following method be employed.

All individuals have the right to pursue a romantic interest. Meeting a compatible partner can generate an unstoppable emotion. It is possible that the individual in question believes that this is love, but it is important to ascertain whether the other person shares this sentiment. What is the appropriate course of action when the love one believes they are experiencing is met with exploitation by the other person?

The man in question has two children, is the linchpin of the family unit, is unable to obtain a divorce, his wife is making a scene, and these are all situations he informed you about, not what you observed firsthand. If he no longer loves you and wishes to leave you, these are all the ostensible reasons he has given. From the moment you accepted that he has a family, you relinquished your agency in the relationship.

The experience of falling in love with a man who does not truly love you is inherently painful for anyone. It is natural to perceive him as selfish, but this perception is largely a result of the realization that he does not love you. The tenderness, consideration, and willingness to spend money that he displays are likely a reflection of the emotional, heartfelt, and aesthetic investment you have made in the relationship. It is important to recognize that you are worthy of devotion from any man, yet you have chosen to invest in this particular relationship. This choice has granted him the initiative, and his actions may reflect a transactional dynamic in which your love is a commodity to be exchanged.

The individual in question may be likened to a moth drawn to a flame. Having experienced a love that feels wonderful inside them, they now find themselves in a situation where their dream has been shattered by the actions of the other person. They may then consider whether their feelings are a result of enjoying an exciting relationship and the physical pleasure it affords, or whether they are a genuine expression of love. To further examine this, they may imagine the other person proposing to them in a cruel manner, leaving behind two children and a wife. This prompts the question: would they marry him? Would they be comfortable with this person becoming the father of their children?

If one is willing, it can be inferred that one truly loves the object of one's affections. Conversely, if one hesitates, it may be helpful to consider the underlying reasons for this hesitation.

One might inquire whether the level of love in question is indeed as profound as one believes.

Given the time you have spent with him, it is evident that you have invested your emotional and intellectual capital in this relationship. However, a more objective assessment of your social environment may reveal that you have missed out on numerous opportunities due to your preoccupation with this individual. It is possible that you have misjudged this person's character and the impact of this misjudgment may not be fully rectified. Nevertheless, with time and the accumulation of further experiences, your preferences and aversions are likely to evolve. In the future, even if this person were to plead with you, you may not experience the same emotional distress. The pain associated with this relationship is only transient, and the ability to disengage from it expeditiously can be beneficial for your personal growth.

It is reasonable to conclude that any individual deserves a partner who is capable of loving them wholeheartedly. It is a well-documented phenomenon that two people in love can enjoy passion for only one or two years, after which they will no longer be able to satisfy the individual's need for love. It is therefore important to consider what kind of love is being sought. This will inform the choice of partner in the next relationship.

It is my hope that the aforementioned methods will prove beneficial to you.

It is important to note that change often requires time and patience. It is also crucial to understand that many individuals have experienced or are currently experiencing similar challenges.

You are not alone in this endeavour. It is my sincere hope that you will soon find resolution to the issues that have caused you distress and achieve a state of inner peace and comfort.

I would like to express my gratitude to those who have expressed approval and provided feedback. I extend my best wishes for peace and joy.

Hello. From your description, it seems you have a strong bond and a history of love. However, you are currently facing the challenge of being separated. It can be difficult to move on from a relationship that has such a strong emotional impact, both positive and negative. While you reflect on the past, you may also have feelings of resentment towards your partner for being unfaithful. This can make it difficult to move forward.

I would like to examine ways in which we can reconnect with our true selves.

You were colleagues at the time, and you had a personal interest in him, but you were still able to maintain your professional boundaries. This demonstrates your ability to think rationally and act with discretion.

When you accept each other's love, it demonstrates your commitment and devotion, which is a testament to the depth of your giving.

It could be said that when a rational person can completely and selflessly devote themselves to love, this happiness may be an immersive, drowning, selfless, and self-forgetting existence.

Even if two people are completely in love, it is likely that the love they give and the love they feel will differ in some way. This raises an interesting question: who do you think gives more true, more complete, and more abundant love?

Could I perhaps ask who among you is more immersed and selfless in the river of love?

Love is a river that two people bathe in together. Could it be that they are bathing in different rivers of love? If so, why do the levels of feeling differ?

We respectfully propose the idea that two people in love may be able to experience the river of love simultaneously, though not necessarily in the same way. The river of love is a personal experience that each individual creates and then immerses themselves in.

Some people are more reserved, allowing themselves to navigate the river of love while still maintaining a sense of autonomy. Others embrace the river wholeheartedly, submerging themselves in it and finding joy in the experience.

It might be said that we are either "swimming in it" or "enjoying the immersion," but it is we who create it. In other words, we are immersed in our own world, and we don't need the presence of others.

We are not ruled by our emotions, nor are we bound by others. We just drown in our own world. As long as we keep feeling the pain, our subconscious mind may believe that the relationship has not disappeared.

Perhaps it would be helpful to ask ourselves a question: if we really went back a year ago, could we have really prevented this love from happening? Do we really want to erase the unforgettable memories from our life?

We can see the good things that happened, but now we are erasing them with pain. Perhaps what we should really do is accept the good things that happened, be grateful for the efforts we made, and be grateful that we loved so hard.

It might be helpful to consider that there could be a number of reasons for this, some of which may be difficult to identify. For instance, you may feel a sense of resentment towards yourself for having invested so much, which could be preventing you from moving on from the pain.

For instance, you may find it challenging to embrace happiness because you tend to dwell on past events and hold a grudge against the other person. Similarly, you might have difficulty loving yourself fully because you feel unworthy of love and acceptance.

...

No matter which explanation is correct, when we can truly respect the past, see the gains that the relationship has brought us, and bid that experience a respectful farewell, we can welcome a new beginning.

We gently suggest that a simple analysis may not fully address the complexity of the situation. We believe that seeking the guidance of a counselor who can provide a more comprehensive perspective could be beneficial in moving forward. It is possible that, with the help of a counselor, you may gain insights that could lead to a positive transformation.

At Yixinli, we extend our love and support to you.

Hi there!

From what you've said, it's clear you like this married man a lot. What makes him so attractive to you?

This guy always does things that make you feel really good. If we're not careful, we'll be easily influenced and accept others at face value. It's a normal situation that most people will experience.

From a logical standpoint, a married man having such feelings for a woman may not want to get married as a result. Rather, he may want to get close to you in the name of love and pursue a relationship with you. There is no right or wrong in relationships. The key is that such feelings will not lead to a happy ending. Men are realistic and will not leave their wives and children. They have a wife at home and a mistress on the side. They don't want to take responsibility but just enjoy themselves. This is the advantage that many men want to take. So it is impossible for us to have a long-term relationship. Even if we want to enjoy a short-term relationship for a while, we will be morally condemned and scolded by others. So to ensure that we don't have to endure the pain, I think it is the most correct choice not to take such a step.

Love is an instinct, loyalty is a choice. What you can't have will always be a source of turmoil, and our hearts will make us think that what we can't have is the best. But when you get it, it won't always be good. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. When we face the real other person, the novelty will pass, and the weaknesses will be exposed. Then the test of human nature has just begun.

I'd suggest you go for a psychological consultation. You can use the counselor to figure out what you need, whether you need the love of others, and whether you can love yourself. Think about how you'd feel if you were the other person's wife.

It's true that relationships are complicated. But we can also take control of and understand ourselves, make the right choices, avoid being controlled by our emotions, and believe that we can become better and more independent. If you bloom, the butterflies will come.

I hope this is helpful to you.

Hello, I'm Xintan Coach Fei Yun. Life is a journey for growth.

This relationship is wrong and should end.

He's your type and you're a perfect match.

When you're alone together, you can enjoy the romance without worrying about the outside world. Once you return to reality, your wife, children, work, etc. become less important.

Life is not a vacuum. Without moral constraints, everyone could be carefree.

Everyone is mortal. In the end, we must return to life. It's the same with any beautiful woman: she has to poop just like everyone else.

If you can let go, do it. If you can't, don't.

It doesn't mean he's tired of you, heartless, or without love. It means he's returned to reason and life earlier than you.

Paying you 200,000 yuan isn't about buying your past year with money. It shows he feels guilty and is just as reluctant to let go as you are.

Love means letting go, not controlling.

You have had wonderful memories together. It is rare to have a special place in each other's hearts.

Who can guarantee that marriage and family won't end in tears? Cherish the time you have together.

If you need to let go, do it.

What if you can't let go? Think of it as an open-ended agreement.

Have a dream and be hopeful.

I hope this helps. I love you.

To continue the exchange, follow my personal homepage, "Heart Exploration Service."

Dear Question Asker, I have carefully reviewed your text and can discern that you have a complex relationship with a married man. It is evident that this individual aligns with your expectations of a partner, exhibiting qualities such as gentleness, consideration, and physical compatibility.

It is unfortunate that you met the right person at the wrong time. However, you have decided to break free from moral constraints and accept the relationship because you love him so much.

Furthermore, you attempted to avoid placing undue pressure on the individual in question and to refrain from interfering in their familial affairs. I can comprehend the internal conflict you experienced between moral principles and romantic feelings.

Despite your best efforts to maintain the relationship and the considerable investment of time and energy, the crisis that ensued upon the discovery by the other party's spouse led to a significant emotional toll. The abrupt termination of the relationship left you with the impression that your partner did not value your feelings.

I empathize with your situation. Despite your best efforts, you did not receive the desired outcome.

From a psychological standpoint, individuals often unconsciously replicate the experiences of their childhood. I am interested in learning more about your upbringing and family dynamics.

Could you please describe the relationship between your parents and how they treated you?

Could you please describe your relationship with them, particularly with your father?

It is often the case that our views on relationships are derived from our experiences as parent-child relationships in childhood. Could you please elaborate on why you like this type of man?

Why, despite being aware of the potential risks, did you decide to pursue this relationship? The answer may lie in your childhood experiences.

To gain clarity on the future direction, it is essential to undertake a comprehensive self-examination and personal growth. Understanding your origins provides a valuable compass for navigating the path ahead.

I wish you the best of luck. I hope you can overcome this challenging period soon and that the future will bring positive results.

Hello, question asker

This man is everything you want in a partner: kind, generous, brave, and proactive. You are colleagues, and it sounds like you are equally matched in your careers. He is married, but everything else is what you expect from a boyfriend, so you love him very much. However, you are especially upset that he left you for his family. You feel like you have been fooled. You are especially miserable and angry when you think about how he started to flirt with you, but then just walked away. You doubt yourself, hate him, but love him at the same time.

This man doesn't love you. He never intended to leave his family. His desire for you was sexual. His consideration and generosity were for dating.

His reputation, children, and wife are more important than you.

You're not his most important or special person. This is sad, but true.

You said this man is selfish. When you satisfy his desires, he's good to you. But if you threaten him, he'll leave. By transferring 200,000 yuan to you, it's clear he thinks he can end the relationship with compensation. He doesn't understand your feelings, but you're trapped.

Looking back, were you like any other couple, except for sex?

Does he care about you?

Can he take you out in public?

Can you talk about him with your friends?

Is it just a secret, passionate affair? The more forbidden it is, the more exciting it is.

You know.

A man can learn to treat a woman well. The more women he's been with, the better he knows how to please them. You can see a man's true heart in how he spends his time and money.

Time is fair. Does he spend all his holidays with you? Most likely, he's with his family.

When you need care, will he come to you? Or just give you a video?

He has a family. Even if you're together, he'll still have to spend a lot of time with his kids and he might still be involved with his ex. Plus, he doesn't want a divorce.

You need love, and this man can't give it to you. Good luck!

Give the original poster a hug. You got to experience being in love with someone you like and being taken care of in a thoughtful and considerate way. You were in a state of complete physical and mental sweetness. If he wasn't married, you could be considered a good couple.

You resent him because it seems like the marriage and family chose to abandon you. You feel like he's not responsible for you, gave you the good things, and finally deprived you of its existence and made you understand him. If you had known this, why did you do it in the first place?

But isn't this also proof of your love for him?

The key thing is to be sure you really want to leave the relationship. Ask yourself, do you truly want to move on?

Take a moment to think about what it is that you can't let go of.

Have you ever considered that this amazing experience might not be real? What's holding you back? Is it his thoughtfulness, the happiness he brings you, or the feeling of being loved?

It's more accurate to say that you can't let go of that experience than to say that you can't let go of him. You may feel as if only he can bring you that kind of happiness.

But at the same time, he's hurt you and hasn't taken responsibility for you or for this love. You might not know what love really is in this situation or whether you should be generous and not blame him for his choice because you love him so much. With all these contradictions, you have a deep resentment and attachment to him. I don't know what you've experienced in your earlier life that makes you unable to choose to love yourself more powerfully when you're completely hurt. You might know that if you choose again, you'll still be deeply hurt. It seems like you have a kind of difficulty believing that if you leave each other, you'll encounter a better experience and someone who's more worthy of you to love and who'll cherish you more.

In short, whether or not you let go of someone depends on your willingness to move on without looking back, as well as your belief that you deserve to be loved better and to love yourself better. I wish you the best of luck in finding your Mr. Right, someone who respects and loves you.

Good day. I understand that you are unable to move on from a married man, despite your strong feelings for him. It seems that his marital status is also a factor in your inability to let go. His confession to you appears to have escalated the situation. Let's examine why you are unable to move on from him.

1. Your affinity for him stems from his ability to provide for you and your shared sense of harmony, which is driving your growing feelings of love. Many women may lose themselves when they encounter a man who exemplifies love, but why do we gravitate towards a man who is so adept at providing for others?

Could this be a result of a lack of positive reinforcement during your upbringing? If you had received sufficient support and guidance, would you still be so fixated on this particular trait of his?

2. I understand you to say that he could be so decisive, so why did he provoke you in the first place? I understand you to use the word "provoke," so I take it to mean that when he started this relationship, his inner thoughts were based on the premise of not destroying the marriage. As long as he touched on the marriage, he immediately backed off. However, he was still able to compensate you for this relationship. However, you are not seeking compensation, but an unobtainable love. As a result, compensation cannot alleviate your current pain.

If a separation is unavoidable, financial compensation alone is an inadequate solution. What form of remuneration would be more acceptable?

3. Despite the challenges you're facing, I commend your rational approach to moving on from this situation. Resisting these emotions can often intensify them. If you allow yourself to miss him, spend two hours a day thinking about him, and maintain this practice. Spend two hours a day thinking about him, regardless of whether you're experiencing resentment or hatred, and dedicate those two hours to your relationship and past.

Please utilize your time in other productive ways. After a few months, re-evaluate your progress.

Hello. It seems like you fell in love with a married man, and he had to end things with you to keep his family happy. You're hurting and want to move on, but you can't. You fell for someone you shouldn't have, and while there are lots of good memories, it also brought you a lot of pain.

This guy might just be looking for a bit of excitement and doesn't want to put in too much effort for an affair. Now that he's realised the affair has affected his family, he's decided to give up.

This guy is so irresponsible, he's made you feel so miserable, and he doesn't deserve your love.

Don't dwell on it. This person doesn't deserve to see you this way. You need to be strong. Try to distract yourself by doing something else to enrich yourself. Time will heal all wounds.

You might want to try letting go of this relationship. It'll help to adjust your mentality, accept the breakup, and then try to distract yourself by doing something you're interested in. Give yourself time to heal, and see if there are other people of the opposite sex you can get to know better. You might find the one who truly belongs to you without even noticing.

You can plan for your future, think about what kind of life you want, and work hard to start anew. It's important to clarify your goals and direction, work hard towards them, face life positively, and be brave in meeting challenges.

You've still got a long life ahead of you, and you'll meet plenty of people who'll be worth your time.

I hope you can get over this hurt soon and find the happiness that is truly yours! I hope you can meet someone in the future who truly loves you, respects you, and is willing to do anything for you.

Hello there!

I can totally see how you feel after reading your description!

First, you wrote in your description: "I have been with a love/do-i-feel-hypocritical-for-thinking-that-my-mother-is-with-a-married-man-am-i-right-12010.html" target="_blank">married man for a year. We used to be colleagues, and at that time he often asked me out to dinner and talked to me. I kind of liked him, but at that time I was more sensible and didn't give him a chance. During the pandemic in recent years, we occasionally exchanged greetings on WeChat. I knew he still missed me a lot. Until last year, we happened to be in Beijing for business and met. He bravely confessed to me that he had always liked me all these years and could not forget me. He is my type, and this time my determination collapsed, and I stayed with him." When you start to like the other person, you should give them a chance. You wrote in your description that you were more sensible before because you didn't give the other person a chance. It's not that you didn't want to, but the circumstances at that moment were such that even if you did give them a chance, it would have been limited to liking them. I completely understand! It's so hard to know what to do in these situations.

It's totally understandable that you're feeling this way. We're all in a state of turmoil right now because the epidemic has just started. What we all need most right now is comfort and consolation. You already have a good impression of the other person, and assuming there's less communication during the epidemic, then perhaps the follow-up story won't happen. This is the perfect time for you to give yourself some inner consolation and let your hope for a renewed past grow. The other person can also feel your attitude towards him. This confession is the perfect time to shatter your inner defenses.

Second, you wrote in your description: "At the beginning, I never expected that I would like him so much. He takes good care of me, always books the best hotels for our trips, and is very generous in every detail. I'm sorry to say that our bodies also have a special harmony, and he is the best man I have ever experienced, so I like him more and more. After we got together, I returned to the United States, and we agreed to meet the next time I came back. We had to use WeChat video to ease the longing during the six months when we couldn't see each other. This year during the Chinese New Year, we finally had time to get together again, and this time we lived together for more than a month. We both cherished every day and got to know each other better. When we left, we both fell deeper in love." It's so lovely when you fall in love for the first time! You described the feeling so well. When you're falling in love, every time you see your partner, you feel more and more in love with them. It's like you're falling in love all over again with every new moment you spend together. You can use a simple idiom to describe this: "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." When you're falling in love, every time you see your partner, you feel more and more in love with them. It's like you're falling in love all over again with every new moment you spend together.

And you have been influenced by the open-minded environment in the United States, while he has formed rebellious thoughts after being blinded by traditional concepts.

I think we can all agree that both sides have needs in their hearts that have led to this unfortunate state of affairs.

In your description, you wrote that his wife found some clues and asked him to write an undertaking. They had two children, and he was the main breadwinner of the family, so he was very proud. He couldn't divorce her. After a month of internal suffering, he said apologetically that we couldn't maintain this kind of relationship because he really couldn't leave his family. I didn't expect him to give up on me so easily because I never put any pressure on him and respected his relationship with his wife. I just wanted to love him silently and see him once every six months. I didn't want to destroy his family. This was my true intention because I loved him and didn't want to make things difficult for him. He said he was sincere with me, but if we didn't separate, his wife would definitely find out and it would be even more difficult for him. He hoped I would understand him. I had to let go, and then I fell into an abyss of pain. I couldn't believe that this man I loved so much could be so decisive. I couldn't believe that this man I loved so much could be so decisive. He was also extremely selfish.

I was really upset with him for provoking me and luring me into a gamble, making me look like a fool. He transferred 200,000 yuan to me as compensation, hoping it

As for compensation, I'm not sure that's the real reason. If you really can't live without your family, why did you provoke me in the first place?

I have a few suggestions for you!

1. It's totally normal to feel this way! You like him, you've invested a lot of emotion, and it's like your first love. He takes good care of you, and it's easy to get lost in the relationship. But you've come to realize the other person, which is great!

2. There have been so many real-life cases similar to yours! In my experience, the most effective way to feel better is to travel. It's amazing how a different environment can soothe your body and mind!

3. There's a concept called empathy in the process of emotional taboo. But since this method is called taboo, it might not be the best fit for you. Don't worry! If you use it properly, you can still find your own Prince Charming.

I just wanted to say that the above content is for reference only.

Greetings.

The couple has been in a relationship for approximately one year. However, the woman has been abroad for the majority of that time, with only a brief period of cohabitation. The couple has only lived together for slightly over a month this year.

Could it be that distance fosters a perception of beauty? Might the current period of infatuation be a reflection of the initial stages of a relationship, despite the relatively short time frame? Could it be that the couple has not yet had to navigate the practicalities of day-to-day life? Consequently, their memories may be characterised by a rosy hue.

The couple spent a significant amount of time together during the Chinese New Year holiday, which lasted for over a month. This period marked the longest time they had spent together. It was during this month-long period that the couple had their honeymoon. During this time, the man in question appeared to be almost perfect, exhibiting no discernible flaws.

One perceives only the positive attributes of the object of one's affections, while simultaneously failing to acknowledge any potential deficiencies. This perception is maintained until such time as the object of one's affections' spouse uncovers evidence to the contrary.

You remain in a state of reflection regarding the situation, neither exhibiting outward signs of distress nor exerting undue influence on the other party.

Even if he terminates the relationship, you are disinclined to create undue difficulties for him. You have conducted yourself in an exemplary manner, and it is reasonable to conclude that few individuals are so fortunate as to experience such a profound and enduring love.

Indeed, relationships, particularly those of an amorous nature, are comprised of elements that may be perceived as both genuine and as products of the imagination. What may be considered authentic are the images evoked by such relationships, particularly those associated with moments of joy.

The recollections of the affectionate experiences are genuine. The sentiments associated with these recollections are authentic.

The perception of beauty in another individual and the experience of words as sweet as honey are examples of illusory phenomena. Our sensory experiences are often influenced by a multitude of personal illusions, rendering them as mere illusions.

In cognitive psychology, there are numerous pathways for experiencing emotions. Due to external stimuli, the pathways for experiencing emotions such as joy and enjoyment have been activated, while the pathway for happiness is fully open, allowing these emotions to be experienced while blocking other emotions.

As a result of external factors, when we activate the emotional response associated with grief, resentment, and self-blame, we experience these emotions once more, while simultaneously inhibiting other emotional responses. These emotional triggers are within our control, and if we can regulate them ourselves, we may be better able to manage our emotions.

Upon proposing a separation, he stated that it was due to his inability to leave his family. He did not anticipate your willingness to end the relationship so readily. Throughout the duration of your relationship, you demonstrated unwavering affection and never exerted any pressure on him.

Given that you love him, you do not even reject his wife and are willing to share his love with her. Could it be that your love is not possessive?

It is also possible that you have suppressed your possessiveness. If you have deliberately suppressed your possessiveness, then this love is an abyss.

Your decision to remain in the relationship was predicated on your love for him. Similarly, your decision to end the relationship was also motivated by your love for him.

The abrupt dissolution of an intimate relationship during the fervor of passion can be likened to a sharp, painful incision. It is not difficult to imagine the immense distress and anguish this can cause, particularly given the significant impact it can have on one's diet and sleep patterns.

From a distance, I extend a gesture of physical contact in the form of a hug, with the intention of providing you with a sense of warmth and comfort.

He is only able to provide monetary compensation, yet you desire his affection. Your emotional state is characterized by a complex interplay of intense feelings, including love and hatred.

It seems reasonable to posit that a certain degree of self-blame is also at play here, with the individual experiencing resentment towards themselves for having believed the other person's assurances so readily.

Indeed, the love you have for each other is already skewed in his direction. You have been wholly giving, at the expense of your own needs and feelings.

A love that is entirely self-sacrificing and has already lost a great deal of self-identity is unlikely to have a positive outcome. If the relationship progresses to a deeper level and the couple remain together for an extended period, the dissolution of the relationship may result in greater distress than if it had ended earlier.

From an objective standpoint, it would be preferable to terminate the relationship at this time rather than in the future.

The relationship that has been established at the expense of one's own needs has provided the most exquisite experience, and it is likely that the process of letting go will be challenging and prolonged. Recollections of the time spent with the individual in question are likely to persist, and attempts to suppress these memories may prove ineffective.

It is important to accept that letting go of oneself may prove challenging initially and that one should avoid any deliberate actions that might be perceived as self-sacrifice or suppression.

The individual is of paramount importance, and their feelings are of equal significance, not those of another person. When one loves another, one cannot sacrifice oneself, cannot sacrifice one's feelings, and cannot deliberately suppress any part of oneself.

Given the pain you are currently experiencing, it would be beneficial to allow yourself to dwell in this emotional state for a period of time. During this time, it may be helpful to engage in self-reflection, asking yourself what the pain is attempting to convey. Is it attempting to remind you to recognize the unequal nature of this relationship?

You have made significant personal sacrifices in this relationship and have also experienced a great deal of emotional suppression. It is now time for you to embark on a process of self-liberation. This process of letting go is not about ending the relationship with your partner, but rather about allowing yourself to move away from the role you have been playing in the relationship and to reconnect with your authentic self. This will enable you to embrace your true feelings and to reclaim your central position in your own life.

The world and I love you, and you should embrace this love and extend it to yourself.