It's stressful to tell the truth to a counselor. Should I push myself?

Hello, question asker. I can see that you're facing some confusion. Please know that I'm here to support you.

I can see that you are experiencing some difficulties in psychological counseling. Please accept my sincere apologies, and allow me to give you a warm hug again.

If I may, I would like to ask you a few questions.

If I may enquire, what kind of expectations do you have of the counselor?

Secondly, could I ask why you feel that telling the counselor the truth might be a challenging experience for you?

Thirdly, could I ask who you think of first when talking to a counselor?

Could it be that you are experiencing empathy in psychology?

Could I ask you to define empathy for me?

If I might suggest a simple definition of empathy, it could be described as a process of projecting one's emotions from certain important figures in the past onto another person or thing.

(Please note that the above reference information has been sourced from the Internet.)

If the above situation occurs, you might consider trying a different counselor.

You might consider switching to the same school as your current counselor or to a different school.

It is important to remember that when you talk to your counselor, you should feel relaxed.

If you feel particularly stressed when talking to her, it may be worth considering whether the layout of the counselor's visitor consultation room, such as the position of the sofa or the arrangement of potted plants, might be a contributing factor.

You might consider mentioning to the counselor that you feel a bit pressured when talking to her. It might be helpful for her to switch to another room to counsel you.

If you still feel pressure to tell the truth to the counselor after changing rooms, it might be worth considering whether there's something about the counselor herself that's causing this.

If the above situation occurs, you may wish to consider switching to another counselor.

Perhaps it would be best to consider switching to a different counselor if you feel that this is the best option for you. It is important to ensure that you are comfortable with your counselor in order to get the most out of your sessions.

I truly hope that the issue you're facing can be resolved in a satisfactory manner in the near future.

I hope these suggestions are helpful.

I hope my above answer is helpful and inspiring to you, the questioner. I am the answerer, and I am grateful for the opportunity to learn from your question.

At Yixinli, we extend our warmest regards to the world and to you.

Dear Sir/Madam, I hope my answer proves helpful to you.

Firstly, it is beneficial to recognise your own behavioural patterns. This enables you to understand why you act in a certain way and to identify ways to make positive changes.

I advise you to:

Please continue to be aware of why you are afraid to tell the truth in person, but can tell the truth to a third party. If you tell the truth, what is the result you are afraid of?

From your description, I understand that you would be willing to discuss your concerns with your mother or a third party, but you are hesitant to do so. At that time, who do you think the counselor is similar to the people you have previously encountered? Is it your father?

Or was it your instructor? Or another individual who has had a notable impact on you?

Do you typically feel comfortable expressing your concerns to your father? Or do you tend to discuss these issues with your mother instead?

...

Through this awareness, you will gain insight into your true fears. It is important to note that your fear of the counselor is not the primary issue. Even if we were to change the person, we would still be hesitant to express ourselves directly due to concerns about how the other person might react. While the counselor provides encouragement, you still feel the need to face the other person's potential dislike and negative evaluation. This is because in the past, when you interacted with individuals in authoritative roles, you often received only criticism and negative feedback.

As a result, we have a limiting belief that prevents us from speaking up: "If I tell the truth in front of them, they will definitely hate me and reject me." Even if we do speak up and receive encouragement, we will still doubt it because the power of this belief is too strong. It will take time to loosen this belief and adjust it.

2. Provide the counselor with honest and accurate feedback regarding your feelings. A solid and stable counseling alliance is essential for effective growth and development.

You may disclose to the counselor any feelings or thoughts you have described, which will provide him with a more comprehensive understanding of your situation. During the counseling process, the counselor serves as a mirror that reflects your patterns and problems.

All individuals have aspects of their personalities that require growth and development. However, to achieve optimal growth, it is essential to be transparent about one's innermost feelings in order to receive the most effective and targeted guidance and support.

Please be assured that all information shared in counseling sessions is kept strictly confidential. The counselor is bound by the principles of confidentiality and value neutrality, which means that any information disclosed in the counseling session will not be disclosed to anyone else without your consent. The counselor's role is to facilitate an open and non-judgmental space where you can explore the reasons behind your behavior.

Please describe your thoughts on this matter. Is this comparable to your previous interactions with this individual?

Please share your thoughts and feelings. These methods facilitate self-exploration and enhance our understanding of ourselves.

Psychological counseling goes beyond addressing symptoms to uncover the underlying causes of psychological issues. This approach enables clients to gain insight into the root of their problems and facilitate positive change. To gain this insight, it is essential to present our true selves.

3. When we are willing to accept that we can be disliked and rejected, we will not be so afraid to express it positively.

My personal experience has shown that if I do not accept that I can be disliked or rejected, and I continue to dwell on the idea that I need constant affirmation and praise, then when someone dislikes or rejects me, I will be highly emotional and will be reluctant to express myself positively because I want to avoid this feeling of being disliked or rejected.

However, if I am willing to accept that I can be disliked and rejected, that I have shortcomings and flaws, then when others say things that displease me, I will be more calm. For example, my mother-in-law used to say that I didn't do a good job of housework and was lazy. I never accepted these comments because I didn't admit to myself that I didn't do a good job of housework and that I was lazy. So, I resented her comments. But in fact, compared to her, I did a very poor job of housework. And, I got up every day later than her, which to her was lazy. When I accepted and acknowledged these shortcomings in myself, I could deal with her comments calmly, without having to argue or fight for her approval and affirmation. Because I accepted these less favorable aspects of myself, I didn't care so much what others said.

It is therefore recommended that you become aware of what you are actually afraid of others hating and rejecting. You should then ask yourself whether you accept these traits or habits.

Or is it that you do not accept yourself? Frequently, our concerns are rooted in the potential feedback from others. The underlying cause is our inability to embrace our shortcomings. When we are able to accept ourselves, we gain the confidence to navigate challenges without fear of rejection or the need for external validation.

Please refer to the above for your information. Best regards,

Dear Questioner, From your description, I understand that you are currently undergoing counselors-at-the-same-time-21433.html" target="_blank">counseling and have some concerns about the counselor. You feel that you are not free to give feedback and express your feelings to the counselor, and you are worried about being disliked and judged.

Please describe the role you perceive the counselor to be playing in this situation. How would you characterize your own role in this interaction?

Please indicate whether you believe the relationship between you and the counselor is equal.

1. Be aware of how you view the relationship between you and the counselor. Some people see the counselor as a teacher, a wise person, someone with the function of guiding and leading the way, and an authority figure.

In Chinese culture, most of our relationships with authority involve a reluctance to directly express negative feelings due to an imbalance in the relationship. Some individuals view the counselor as a service provider and, when faced with discomfort, may directly confront and express their dissatisfaction.

Some individuals view the counselor as a partner and are reluctant to express dissatisfaction due to concerns about losing face. With time and rapport, some clients are able to gradually express their concerns.

Regardless of how you perceive the counselor's role, I believe that their inquiry about your feelings is intended to refine the counseling strategy and better assist you in achieving your counseling objectives.

It is evident that a secure, welcoming, and inclusive counseling environment encourages clients to feel more at ease and comfortable expressing negative emotions.

Are you unsure of the number of sessions you have had? How has your experience of the counselor changed as the counseling has progressed?

Please advise as to the number of sessions you have had with this counselor. How has your experience of the counselor changed as the counseling has progressed?

In order to ensure a productive and beneficial counseling session, it is essential to be able to express your needs and expectations in an honest and constructive manner. This could include requesting specific methods, analysis, or even leading the topic of discussion. It is also important to be clear about your preferences regarding interruptions and other aspects of the session.

During the counseling process, can you honestly express your needs? For example, you may wish to request certain methods, analysis, or a particular approach to the topic at hand. You may also have preferences regarding the level of interruption you would like to receive.

It is understandable to be concerned that expressing negative feelings honestly may result in the counselor developing an unfavorable opinion of you, given the ongoing nature of the counseling. Such apprehensions are not uncommon.

If you feel some loss and dissatisfaction, what is the rationale behind your insistence on consulting? Perhaps you trust the counselor a great deal and believe you need the counselor, but there are still negative aspects to his approach. You hope that he can see and meet your needs, rather than you having to tell him where he is falling short.

2. Gain insight into the root causes of this interaction pattern.

2. Gain insight into the underlying causes of this interaction pattern.

In your everyday life, can you identify any patterns of interaction where you are unable to express your dissatisfaction directly? You have previously mentioned that you are able to discuss your feelings with your parents and other third parties, which is relatively straightforward.

For instance, in a counseling session, it may be straightforward to convey negative sentiments towards classmates and teachers to the counselor.

For example, in a counseling session, you may readily convey your negative sentiments toward your classmates and teachers to the counselor.

Discussing negative sentiments towards an individual (A) with a third party (B) is not the same as expressing those sentiments directly to the individual in question (B).

In your daily life, do you discuss your negative feelings with your parents? Can you express them to your classmates or other individuals?

Please provide your impression of the counselor. Have your feelings in the counseling session changed as it has progressed?

Please provide your impression of the counselor. Have your feelings during the counseling session changed as it has progressed?

Please describe any changes in your impression of the counselor. It is possible that you may still find it stressful to discuss certain topics with a counselor with whom you do not feel close.

Please provide any additional feedback you may have.

Reflection on these matters may facilitate your ability to express your feelings.

Naturally, if you indicate that these emotions are too challenging to address, you are under no obligation to provide feedback. Instead, allow the counselor to proactively identify these feelings, engage in discussion, and facilitate your growth.

Best regards,

☕️Hello, question asker! From your description of the problem, it seems like you're ready to take on the challenge! You're like a visitor straightening his back, clenching his fists, and secretly cheering himself on.

☕️I'm not sure what problem the questioner went to counseling for, but it is really, really difficult for a visitor to completely open up and pour out their heart to a stranger (psychological counselor). This needs to be done slowly and gradually, and it is so worth it! I don't know how long you have been counseling, and whether you have established a sense of trust with your psychological counselor. If there is not enough trust between each other, forcing yourself to open up is a very dangerous thing that will cause you to suffer secondary and tertiary harm. But you can try to express your most genuine feelings to yourself. There are some parts that we cannot or dare not express or fully express because we will also have an evaluation of ourselves, but you can do it!

☕️I'm excited to learn more about your perception of the profession of a psychological counselor and what you hope to gain from psychological counseling. It's clear that you've experienced a significant journey after mustering the courage to express your true feelings to your psychological counselor. This is an opportunity to explore different counseling models and states. It's possible that you encountered a counselor who encouraged you to express yourself and receive praise, which led to a challenging but rewarding experience.

Psychological counseling is an amazing process! It's a journey where the counselor is right there with the client, supporting them as they navigate their thoughts and feelings. It's a journey of growth and discovery, where the client learns to overcome obstacles and challenges at the psychological level. It's a journey that helps the client function better in their daily lives. It's a journey that is warm, smooth, and comfortable. And it's a journey that allows the client to experience a range of emotions and feelings, including stress, difficulties, anxiety, and fear. But it's a journey where these feelings are all within an acceptable range and will be resolved over time.

☕️ So, if the questioner already feels the pressure of having to expend half of his life to bear it, then there's definitely room for improvement! You need to give your counselor honest feedback, and then you can try to find a counseling model and method that is acceptable and satisfactory to both parties.

☕️I'd also love to know if there's someone in your life who you feel is an extremely important family member or figure? When you're with them, you feel like you're the tiniest speck in the universe! You even feel like they can control your life and death. When you're with them, you work really hard and are super careful because you're afraid of ruining your impression in their mind. If there is, do you feel like the way you get along with the counselor is a bit familiar?

As a profession, a psychological counselor actually cannot escape the part of himself/herself that is human. So we are either on the same wavelength as someone or not. If it is really impossible to change the mode and state of counseling, then it is best to choose someone and a counseling method that suits you—and you're going to find the perfect match!

☕️Wishing you a fantastic day! Open your heart, embrace yourself, and welcome a wonderful life!

Greetings, esteemed questioner!

I am Yi Ming, a heart exploration coach.

I commend you for your proactive approach to seeking guidance and solutions.

One of the respondents has already provided an answer, and I would like to supplement it with a few additional points for your consideration.

1. It is not uncommon to experience a sense of obligation to be truthful.

In the majority of cases, when clients are dissatisfied with their counselors and have areas they would like to see improved, it is challenging for them to voice their concerns.

Similarly, in the context of interpersonal relationships, individuals may find it challenging to express their genuine opinions or feelings when interacting with authority figures, such as teachers or leaders.

"Although I consistently receive affirmations, I endeavor to perform to the best of my abilities. However, the pressure is considerable. I experience unease and caution, apprehension of being disliked and evaluated negatively." This is our instinctual and self-protective response.

Despite our intellectual understanding that the counselor will offer encouragement, we remain fearful of being disliked and judged.

It is therefore my personal belief that when one is not yet ready, there is no need to force oneself.

One may also attempt to communicate with the counselor in a forthright manner, stating, for instance, "Whenever you inquire about my sentiments regarding counseling, I experience a profound sense of distress," thereby enabling the counselor to gain insight into one's authentic emotions.

2. Gain an understanding of the characteristics of effective psychological counseling.

Psychological counseling must be service-oriented.

Services must be provided in accordance with the client's expectations.

A beneficial counseling relationship is one in which the client has confidence in the counselor.

The client must be able to trust that the counselor will not harm them.

The act of placing trust in a counselor to assist in the resolution of one's issues is indicative of a sense of security and efficacy.

What is your opinion of this counselor?

Such individuals may be reluctant to engage in the therapeutic process due to a fear of the counselor's evaluation or a negative self-perception.

Notwithstanding the encouraging nature of the counselor's remarks.

As clients, we do not immediately trust the counselor in the same way that we trust our friends. We must therefore allow ourselves to be vulnerable with someone whom we do not know. This process of building trust takes time.

You indicate that you can readily discuss your impressions of the consultation with your mother or another third party if you are dissatisfied with the counselor. In such instances, you perceive a sense of security, which allows you to express yourself candidly.

In practice, a significant number of clients cease consulting with a specific counselor after just one or a few sessions.

It is often unclear to the counselor why this is the case.

Consequently, some counselors inquire about the sentiments and expectations of the initial consultation to facilitate timely adjustments to the counseling process.

If a counselor inquires about these matters, it is likely because they are seeking to enhance the quality of their service, rather than evaluating the client.

Upon comprehension of this concept, clients may experience a notable reduction in apprehension when disclosing their emotions.

Subsequently, the focus can be redirected from the apprehension of being disliked and evaluated to the consultation itself. It is imperative to recognize that the counselor's role is to facilitate the client's well-being.

The counselor should adhere to a 70/30 ratio of following and leading with the client, respectively, and the pace of the counselor should be tailored to the needs of the client.

Should one be disinclined to discuss one's feelings, there is no obligation to do so.

3. Identify the underlying causes of discomfort.

Each time one reflects on and experiences, even discomforting emotions such as discussing one's sentiments regarding the consultation, which induces feelings of distress and exhaustion, one can examine the underlying causes.

For example, are we somewhat self-serving, or do we anticipate that others will offer more favorable feedback due to a fear of being disliked?

The question thus arises as to whether we possess a high level of self-acceptance, that is to say, whether we believe ourselves to be good enough.

Even in the event of external validation being withheld, self-doubt is unlikely to be experienced; instead, a rational and objective perspective is maintained.

If one were able to engage in discourse with these pressures and feelings of discomfort, what would they have to say?

To illustrate, if one does not yet have complete trust in the counselor, if one does not fully believe that

The counselor is always available to provide support and guidance, and is committed to working with the client to address the presented issue.

It is reasonable to posit that in the presence of a trusted individual, one would be more forthcoming with their authentic emotions and aspirations.

The process of inquiring about one's emotional state facilitates the counselor's understanding of the client and vice versa.

It is of the utmost importance to consider one's own feelings.

It is imperative to respect yourself, take your time to express yourself, and discuss with the counselor the pressure caused by his or her inquiries.

Naturally, the pace at which one engages in this process is entirely up to the individual.

It is important to note that the aforementioned considerations are not exhaustive and that other factors may also be relevant in this context.

Please feel free to share these.

Should you be interested, you are encouraged to read "Is it all my fault?"

I wish you the best of success!

Hello, I saw your question and remembered a thought I had before I started counseling. I shouldn't tell my counselor about *** because it's too personal and not relevant to my request.

If you don't speak up, you're being irresponsible. Two little men are fighting.

But you know?

By the seventh time we worked together, I told him everything. I was surprised.

I kept asking myself, "Why did you say that?"

I understand your conflict better now. Take your time. The point of counseling is to say whatever we want to say. We don't need to worry about whether it's useful or not. The counselor will try to help you as much as possible.

The teacher who answered earlier gave you a more comprehensive analysis and interpretation. I would like to share with you part of a reading excerpt I recently read that is related to this topic.

Fink says that the self is also the result of speech.

Foucault found that confession is an important way to express the self. It is an act of religious belief. It allows people to express their sins and take responsibility for their thoughts and desires.

People feel uncomfortable revealing secrets. This is part of our culture. In therapy, "tell me a secret" is a powerful new version of the ancient theme of confession.

Jung said his therapeutic model was his "unique confession."

I'm sharing this to hopefully offer you some relief. These problems have been discussed for centuries and are common to all of us.

We are normal. Give yourself time. You are already on a journey of self-analysis. It is not easy, so let's applaud your bravery and cheer you on!

And we're not alone on this journey.