I've been on 50 blind dates and only met one or two that I liked. What should I do?

What do you really think true love is? Do you know what kind of person you want to spend your life with, or are you still searching, hoping that someone will suddenly appear, fulfill all your desires, and then be with you?

Love is beautiful and pure. It's free from financial worries and the distractions of responsibilities. Love is spontaneous and emotional. It's an encounter where you're swept away by the moment and the outcome doesn't matter.

Marriage is a commitment and a responsibility, a legal relationship that both parties must stick to. It's about loyalty, unlike falling in love, which you can break up with whenever you want. But it also means responsibility, a rational union.

American psychologist Sternberg, who came up with the theory of love, says love has three main parts: passion, intimacy, and commitment. Passion is the sexual side of love, an emotional fascination; intimacy is the warm feeling you get in a loving relationship; and commitment is the decision to stick with the relationship or a promise.

Love isn't just a feeling. If it were, it would disappear when we face challenges because we can find that feeling in different people. The most common reason for infidelity is that we don't feel it anymore. But true love is more than a feeling. It's a responsibility, a mutual sacrifice, and a mutual achievement. True love isn't a moment of inspiration. It's a long-term commitment, a mutual sacrifice, a mutual achievement, and mutual respect.

These days, people let their emotions run wild, getting married when they fall in love and getting divorced when the passion fades. This kind of love is often a form of narcissism. Many people explore different lovers in search of love, only to feel increasingly lonely in the end. The reason is that narcissistic love can never last.

It's impossible to find someone who meets all your expectations. We all love someone who's cute, but if you still love them when they're not as cute as they used to be and you're willing to accept their flaws, then that's true love. And to do that, you have to have a forgiving heart.

If we want to find someone to love, we have to be able to love others and understand what love really is.

Hello, question asker!

From what the questioner has said, it seems that in the process of going on lots of blind dates, we only really meet a tiny number of people who like each other. As they say, you can't force things, and what is meant for us will naturally come to us.

So, the questioner, let's be clear about what type we want and whether the six or seven people we've met have any common characteristics. Are these characteristics things we lack?

It's totally normal to feel like our needs aren't being met right now. It's okay to ask ourselves: do these needs make us aware of our feelings, our desires, our inner voice, and how much we hope to meet someone who is compatible and with whom we can spend the rest of our lives?

So, the big question is, can we meet someone we like? The answer is a resounding yes! But, there might be a few bumps along the road.

Nobody's perfect, but we all just need a little help to find our way.

I'm not sure how old the original poster is or what kind of girls they meet in the dating market. Maybe there are many older unmarried people, maybe they come from average families, or maybe they are very well-off. If we can't meet the right girl in the dating market, we can try going to the library, the park, or even the mall. In fact, we can expand the scope of our search. We don't just have to rely on dating. We will inadvertently meet the right girl!

For example, we could even meet the right girl at the company!

And there's more! We can also learn more, improve our communication skills, and learn how to handle interpersonal relationships better. We can even learn how to understand the little minds of girls! And even if we don't meet them, we're already prepared.

Life is so many wonderful things all at once! If we can't find the right one for us right now, we can also focus on ourselves and think about how we can grow and improve in the present. Let your light shine! And don't get discouraged, take your time.

It's been a little while, but I'm so happy to be back! I've been reading One Psychology, World, and I Love You, which I'm really enjoying.

Hello! I'm Strawberry!

The questioner has gone on dozens of blind dates, which is impressive! It's natural to feel overwhelmed at first, but with each date, you'll gain confidence in your ability to navigate the situation. While it's tempting to go by your own standards, it's also important to be flexible and adapt to the reality of the situation.

Choose according to the criteria for choosing a spouse!

After dozens of blind dates, the questioner feels that there is only one or two people that she really likes. This ratio is obvious, which means that the questioner is relatively clear about her own dating standards, so she can find someone she likes among so many blind dates—and it's going to be worth it!

Maybe it's because of age, maybe it's because of the pressure to get married, or perhaps it's for other reasons that have made the questioner want to go on a blind date. This is one way to find a suitable partner, but when going on a blind date, you still get to choose according to your own criteria for choosing a spouse!

After dozens of blind dates, the questioner knows that she only likes one or two people. In other words, when others arrange blind dates, the questioner agrees to go without finding out more about the person. Blind dates require time, experience, and money. When we waste too much time on something and suffer setbacks, it makes us stronger and more determined internally.

So, on the next blind date, the questioner should be ready to dive in and clarify their own criteria for choosing a spouse. They should also be excited to find out if the other person meets their standards and then decide whether to accept the invitation. This way, they can make the most of their time and energy!

Follow your heart!

For blind dates, first impressions are key! (First impression: the impression a perceiver gets from a stranger after the first encounter or interaction.) Even if the other person doesn't seem particularly interested, it's still worth giving it a try to see if there's a chance for a connection.

From the very first impression, the questioner already has the answer in his heart. It's clear that most of the other person doesn't quite meet the questioner's criteria for choosing a spouse. This means that during their time together, the questioner's heart will tell him more and more that there seems to be a gap between the other person and the partner he wants in many ways. This is an exciting opportunity for the questioner to learn more about what he truly wants in a partner!

Our expressions, attitudes, and behaviors can tell us a lot about our interests. When we ask questions, it's important to show interest and enthusiasm. If the other person senses indifference, they may feel like they're wasting their time. So, let's make sure we're asking questions that show we're excited about what we're talking about!

? Seeing problems and facing them head-on!

During the blind date, the questioner also met someone they had a good feeling about, but that person didn't have a good feeling about the questioner. This is where it gets really interesting! Have you ever wondered what those people they have a good feeling about have in common?

It's important to remember that rejection doesn't mean you're unable to attract others. It just means that everyone has different standards for choosing a partner! For example, some people like girls with long hair. So, at the first meeting, rock that long hair and score some extra points! Then, as you get to know each other, you can decide whether you're a good match. So, at the first meeting, dress to impress and show off your best features!

It's time to conquer your fear of awkward silences! Before your big date, find out about your date's usual hobbies and favorite things through your introducer. Use this information to spark some great conversation and make a fantastic first impression!

And the best part is, in a blind date, both men and women are equal! It's a great way to meet new people. The blind date itself involves two strangers being introduced by someone else, and trying to see if they are a good match without any emotional foundation. It's a great way to find out if you're a good match for someone without any emotional foundation. And it takes time to get along and get to know each other, which also allows us to take the initiative.

I really hope my answer is helpful to the questioner! Best wishes!

Good day, questioner.

From your description, I can discern the anxiety and helplessness in your heart. At the same time, you were able to come here to discuss your problems and identify potential solutions. This is an important first step in effecting change.

You describe yourself as being in your 30s, having gone on many blind dates, and really liking only one or two of them. You believe you are okay, but if you are not particularly fond of someone, you will not be proactive. This is why, during the course of your relationship with that person, others did not feel your enthusiasm, and so the contact was broken off. As you get older, this makes you feel anxious and helpless. Is that correct?

Indeed, you have attended numerous blind dates, yet have not formed a strong affinity with many of them. This is a common occurrence, indicating that you have discerned your own preferences and expectations.

You have encountered numerous individuals since you were young, yet only six or seven have elicited a genuine interest. You are concerned that you may not meet someone with whom you are compatible, and others have advised that you must have a strong affinity for someone to pursue a relationship with them, which has led to feelings of despondency. Is that accurate?

I believe that love at first sight or true love exists, but it is more about our habits. We become accustomed to being with someone and gradually develop a fondness for them. I am unsure if you agree with this.

I am unaware of the specifics of your situation, but based on your description and my own experience, I would like to offer some general advice from a female perspective in the hope that it will be of assistance to you.

First, adjust your mindset and adopt a more positive outlook.

I must admit that I have not yet found a partner in my 30s either. However, I have found that the key to success is to adjust my mindset, calm myself down, believe in myself, and get myself in order. This is the only way to achieve happiness.

A positive outlook can provide the motivation and courage needed to achieve one's goals. It is also essential to believe in one's ability to attain the desired lifestyle.

Then, enhance your skills and abilities.

When we encounter setbacks while watching TV, it is important to recognize that we can take steps to improve ourselves. We can also travel to see the outside world, broaden our horizons, work harder to improve our living standards, read more books to gain experience, and enhance our personal attributes, such as reading, traveling, exercising, cultivating emotional intelligence, love quotient, etc. These actions will help us to exude male charm from the inside out. When you are good enough, you will attract your happiness.

Secondly, it is important to enhance your personal charm.

It is my belief that most people prefer humorous and interesting individuals. It is therefore important to pay attention to personal image and enhance personal charm. Learning to praise and appreciate others is also beneficial in this regard. In the process, you can gain the goodwill of others. Of course, you should also pay attention to your appearance to make yourself look relaxed and comfortable.

Ultimately, it is essential to be more aware and clarify.

Although men and women are equal in this era, and there are also women who pursue relationships with men, they remain a minority. Typically, it is the man who must take the initiative to create the conditions for himself. In this case, it is important to be more aware and clarify your intentions. Do you want to find a suitable partner with whom to marry, or do you want to remain single?

If your objective is to find the right person to marry, you must adopt a bold approach.

Ultimately, it is often necessary to take the initiative and take action. Individuals tend to think differently, with girls tending to be more emotional and easier to please, though they require patience.

It is essential to consider your desired lifestyle and the type of individual you aspire to be. Only when these aspects are clear can you continue to work towards your goals.

Good day, questioner. I am Jia Ao, your Heart Exploration coach.

I can see the issues and confusion you describe on the platform. Have you encountered difficulties in the process of dating? You say you have gone on dozens of blind dates, but you feel that you really like only one or two of them. The person you like does not reciprocate your feelings, and the person you don't like makes you feel very average. You are very passive when spending time with girls, and the other person simply does not feel your love. You are both indifferent to each other, until you stop communicating completely. This makes you worried, and you don't understand why you have rarely met someone you really like since you were young. Do you really have to remain single for the rest of your life?

If the individual in question does not reciprocate your feelings, and you are unable to force yourself to like someone you do not, and if there is not sufficient mutual interest, the other person will not want to spend more time with you. What should you do in the future?

It is evident that this situation is causing distress. Attending numerous blind dates, only to return with the same disappointing outcome, is a challenging experience. It is possible that you do not find any of the individuals you meet appealing, or that they do not reciprocate your interest. It is indeed a difficult task to meet someone you truly connect with. However, is hastily entering into a relationship the solution to this problem?

Is there a way to modify your negative psychology?

Let me assist you in analyzing and organizing your thoughts.

1. Please take a moment to calm down.

It is advisable to remain calm and relax. There is no need to rush into anything. If you are experiencing fatigue from the current pace of blind dates, you may wish to consider reducing the number of friends you meet or even suspending the process. It is important to recognise that meeting too many people too often can lead to feelings of overwhelm. It would be beneficial to pause for a while and adjust your mood slowly.

2. [Listen to your heart]

It is important to understand your own reality and avoid self-deprecation or arrogance. It is not necessary to take everything too seriously; rather, it is helpful to listen to your heart. If you like something, embrace it; if not, do not force it. It is not uncommon to meet someone you do not like. Relationships are often shaped by fate and destiny. When it is meant to be, it is; when it is not, it is not. Just as you are not currently experiencing a feeling of completeness, there is always a possibility that there is someone out there who is the right person for you.

3. [Get to know each other]

If you do not deliberately seek that "heart-fluttering feeling," you can still cultivate a future relationship with a girl you like. The more time you spend together, the more you will get to know each other. Ultimately, relationships depend on compatibility and comfort. You can only know if you are compatible and comfortable with each other after spending time together. You can only know if shoes fit by trying them on. If they don't fit, don't make things difficult for yourself. The same applies to relationships.

4. [Self-improvement]

Prior to any future blind dates, it is advisable to consider the type of person you are seeking. If you meet someone you do not like, it will have a negative impact on you. In the future, it would be prudent to avoid meeting this type of person. It is important to respect yourself, take care of your emotions and feelings, even if you have to live alone for a while. You can also work hard to improve yourself. As the saying goes, "If you bloom, the butterflies will come." When it comes to relationships, it is beneficial to work hard to improve your financial situation, earn more money, and recharge more often. If you become better, you will not worry about not meeting the right person. There is a possibility that the next one will be the right person!

It is my hope that the above analysis and advice will prove useful to you.

Should you wish to continue the conversation, please click on "Find a Coach" in the lower right corner to arrange a chat and discuss the matter further.