I've never been brave, and this time he said he wanted to break up... Do I always need an explanation?

Be there for the hurting, tangled-up, and vulnerable you.

Love should be a beautiful and sweet experience of two people appreciating, encouraging, and achieving each other. Since loving each other is so painful, why don't you separate as soon as possible? I know it's not easy, but you'll be doing yourself a favor in the long run.

First of all, from the way you write, it seems like you're going through a tough time in your relationship. It's natural to feel the pain of a misaligned relationship, especially when you're still longing for the love you felt during your adolescence. It's okay to feel this way. Take some time to think about it: is this how you should feel when you pursue intimacy?

I don't think this is how you should feel when you're trying to be intimate.

I think this is where you and he, or you and him, have gone wrong.

Secondly, you mentioned in the title that you feel you lack bravery, and this time you let him break up with you. You also said you're not satisfied with many things about him.

So, my dear, why stay together? What do you like about him?

I'm sure there are lots of things you admire about him! I think that's the original intention and reason for love, not all kinds of dissatisfaction with him, losing your temper at him, and then begging for tolerance and understanding, for reconciliation and comfort.

This kind of love isn't really love at all. It's more like punishing yourself and others, and then forgiving yourself and others.

Third, you said you feel like a victim. I'm here to help, so please tell me more about your thoughts and feelings. I'd like you to take some time to reflect on your situation and think about what you're feeling.

Is it the process of arguing, the hurt you cause each other, or the fleeting joy of reconciliation and forgiveness? I'm sure it's not what you mean, but ultimately, love is not what you describe. It should be beautiful and sweet, with setbacks and ups and downs, but they shouldn't be the main theme.

Parting quietly is a great time to think about it, to figure out how you feel and what you really want. What kind of person do you like? What kind of person do you want the other person to be? And what kind of love do you want?

Question author,

I'm Kelly Shui from Heart Exploration.

[I've never been brave, and this time he said goodbye]

After reading the original poster's words, I empathize with you and understand that you're facing some tough emotional challenges.

The pain you feel in love also makes you see your own lack of courage and realize that you're vulnerable too. You're a brave person because you're willing to admit that you're not courageous.

Let's discuss it further.

[Growing in a relationship]

You mentioned that you've been in a relationship for six months and have had a lot of disagreements.

When you first started dating, you were both really open and honest with each other. It's only been six months, and you want the way you think, the way you handle things, and the way you think about things to be satisfactory to you. In fact, this is indeed a bit difficult.

It can take a while for two people from different backgrounds and with different upbringings, and of different genders, to get to know each other and find a way of working together that suits them both.

It's the same for many couples who have been married for decades.

As we grow up, we start to show our own personalities, which might not make our parents happy.

Sometimes, we may not even be able to satisfy ourselves.

Our relationships can show us where we're not happy, and also where we're not happy with ourselves. We might even want someone else to be perfect.

[Know yourself and explore yourself]

The questioner is a kind and perceptive person.

You seem to feel that he's a good guy, very family-oriented, and works hard to take care of you. Have you ever told him about these good qualities? Maybe it's because you see it that he's willing to work hard for you.

Often, dealing with conflicts and communication requires learning. We all know our parents pretty well, don't we?

It's possible that communication doesn't always go as planned.

You can also explore yourself and figure out what you need to get the results you want.

When you catch yourself losing your temper, you feel resentful and lash out, getting worse and worse.

Have you ever exhibited these behaviors in the past?

Do your parents act like this towards each other?

Often, we don't really know ourselves. Maybe we can explore more. It could also be that our emotions have never been seen, so we feel aggrieved and angry.

We can learn more about our past, and if you're interested, you can also seek help from a professional counselor.

We understand ourselves better now, and we'll probably understand ourselves better in the future. We need to figure out what kind of relationship we want with the person we're going to spend the rest of our lives with.

We can start by trying to be friends with ourselves. Give yourself a hug, or just accept who you are right now.

I think it's fair to say that your angry self has experienced a lot of injustice and repression.

[Go with the flow and accept the present]

Psychology tells us that we can always change the past, no matter what has happened. So, what can we do now?

We're feeling depressed and out of control. Have you spoken to your doctor?

Give you a hug. You can see that he's hurting too. Maybe he loves you and also hates himself for being unable to do anything?

It's also possible that he'll blame himself.

Sometimes, two good people just aren't ready to become a qualified couple right away. They need to have enough trust, love, and courage to explore the unknown world and life together.

Give the other person some time to calm down and process everything.

It's important to remember to take care of yourself and accept your current emotions. This will help you understand your needs in a relationship and your understanding of love.

Have faith in yourself. You'll get through these relationships.

I'd also suggest reading Growing in Relationships, The Art of Love, and The Power of Self-Care.

Hello! I really hope my answer can be of some help to you.

From what you've told me, it seems like you two love each other very much, but you're just not sure how to show your love in your relationship, how to communicate effectively, or how to deal with emotions. These are all things you can work on together to improve your relationship. When you can open up the "two meridians" in your emotions, you'll definitely be able to cultivate your own true scripture of love.

I really want to help you, so here's my advice:

Try to adjust your expectations of him. We're all imperfect, and everyone needs to feel accepted, understood, and respected in order to change.

I totally get it. I used to be just like you. I had very high expectations of my husband, hoping that he could meet all my expectations and needs. And when he didn't, as you say, "I couldn't wait for the result I wanted, and I would lose my temper." When I lost my temper, I would ignore the cold weather and go outside without a jacket, just to make him feel bad. Sometimes I would refuse to eat lunch, making him call and call, but still I wouldn't eat... But this didn't solve the problem, and it didn't change him. It also caused a lot of harm to the relationship, and both of us suffered.

Later on, I came across a lovely saying in the book A Change of Heart: "There are only three things in this world – your own affairs, other people's affairs, and the affairs of heaven." It made me think about why people might feel troubled. Could it be that they're not in control of their own affairs and are worrying about other people's affairs and the affairs of heaven? What are other people's affairs, anyway?

It's so important to remember that the thoughts and behaviors of others are none of our business, including our boyfriend and our parents. This is because if someone doesn't want to change, it can be really difficult for others to change them. His thoughts and behaviors are not formed all at once, but are shaped by a number of different things, including his own personal growth, his educational background, his living environment, and other factors. In fact, these patterns are even a kind of protective mechanism for him. The ideas in his belief system are also deeply rooted, and they cannot be changed just like that.

When I understood this, I began to adjust my expectations of him and accept him for who he is. I found that I no longer get angry so easily at his many actions, because I know that even if I don't accept him, he will remain the same. It's so reassuring to know that he won't change because of my lack of acceptance. In fact, when I begin to accept, understand, and respect him, he becomes more and more trusting of me and more and more willing to make changes for me.

2. It's time to tweak the communication model in our relationship! We all know that fighting in emotions doesn't really work. So, let's learn to communicate effectively and rationally!

It seems like a lot of your communication in the relationship is happening on an emotional level. Right now, your emotional brain is really active, and your rational brain isn't as engaged. This makes you feel like you're in a state of the primitive "fight-or-flight" mode. All your irrational behaviors are in a state of fighting, and sometimes he will also be activated by your emotions. His own defense system, the corresponding response is either to fight (often impulsively strangling me, shaking me), or not to respond (evading). This makes it really challenging for us to control our impulsive behavior, and it's not the best time for communication. Not only is there no communication effect, it will also cause a lot of harm to each other.

It's so important to remember that two simple conditions are all you need to make sure you're communicating effectively. First, you and the other person need to be calm and in a rational frame of mind. Second, it's essential to follow the golden rule of non-judgment and non-accusation. If you attack or accuse the other person right away, they'll feel defensive and might even start to feel like they need to fight or flee. This can lead to intense emotions and arguments.

Once you've done that, you can have a really good, in-depth chat with the other person. You can tell them exactly how you feel, what you need, and what you want them to do. That way, you'll be totally unblocked when you start expressing yourself.

It's so important to communicate well in a relationship. That means listening to each other and expressing your needs and feelings. It's also about understanding your partner's needs and feelings, and what they want from you. When you do this, you can support each other and build a strong, happy relationship.

3. It's so important to be aware of the reasons and needs behind your emotions. When you learn to take care of yourself, you can gradually nourish each other in your relationship.

Maybe you think your emotions are caused by him, but from a psychological point of view, this isn't true. All our emotions come from within and are a way of showing that we need something. For example, if we lack the need to be recognized, we hope that someone will always recognize us. When we don't receive recognition from the other person, we feel emotional. But remember, the other person is also a real person, and they can't always be attentive to our needs. It's not easy for them to always revolve around us. If we keep placing this need on them, not only will they get tired, but we will also be very passive. We need to remember that our feedback on ourselves comes from their every move.

It's time to take back control of your emotions, my friend. When you feel an emotion coming on, just become aware of it. Then, say "stop" to yourself, take a deep breath, and ask yourself, "Why am I angry? What need of mine has not been met?"

Now, let's think about what you can do for yourself to feel better. How can you take better care of yourself?

When you see your own needs, it's so important to learn to take care of them. I used to get really angry all the time because I was being rejected, especially when it was my husband who was rejecting me. It was especially hard. But I learned to approve of myself. Even if my husband doesn't approve of me, I will reassure myself, telling myself, "That's just his opinion, not mine. I'm very satisfied with myself. I understand myself..."

When you meet your own needs, your emotions will naturally calm down. Emotions are just messengers, here to deliver a letter. Remember to open the letter and read it! When you understand the content and message, the emotion will be complete and will naturally not come to you again and again.

I hope this is helpful for you! Sending you lots of love and best wishes!

Hello, I am Xin Tan, and I am grateful for the opportunity to offer you some guidance.

From your written description, I can understand that you may find it challenging to accept when others have different views and things don't develop in the direction you want. You seem to want to be in control of many things.

Perhaps you've discovered that your emotions are the most challenging aspect of yourself to control, and you're unsure of the best way to handle them.

I'm genuinely pleased for you, as you've encountered a man who is remarkably tolerant of you. As a partner, he has been patient with your occasional outbursts, but it seems there might be some differences in opinion when it comes to his approach to things, his ideas, and the way he deals with situations.

Perhaps there are some details you could share about what happened? It would be helpful to understand the differences between your way of thinking and his. Does he tend to deal with things in a straightforward manner, or does he prefer to go around them?

Perhaps we can identify the root of the problem in your relationship and potential solutions by focusing on the areas of concern you have highlighted.

It is understandable that the result for the two of you now is that he has probably already proposed to break up, and you are feeling devastated. After all, he is sort of refuting your decision to make this decision. Have you had time to process this new information?

Perhaps because you always felt that he was the one who could tolerate any of your emotions and temper, you never expected that the day would finally come when he couldn't tolerate you.

You were very headstrong before and liked to express your true feelings. But let's take a look at him: the whole time, he's been suppressing himself. Some of your tantrums and smashing of things are actually expressions of emotion, but he has been trying his best to cope with your emotions.

It's possible that you may have said some things to him that were perhaps a little harsh, but he has put up with it. You may also have noticed that he has some impulsive behaviours, such as choking and shaking you.

It seems that you both tend to be quite straightforward in your approach, which can sometimes result in you saying what's on your mind and expressing your emotions quite strongly. He, as a man, wants to protect you, but he has found that being tolerant and nice to you again and again may not necessarily bring about emotional stability.

It's possible that he's tried a number of different approaches, but it's important to consider whether they align with your needs and preferences. At this stage, it might be helpful to inquire with him about his feelings for you and whether his decision was influenced by a difficulty in accepting your emotions in the moment.

If that's the case, perhaps you could ask him to find me and tell me a little bit about what he wants from your relationship. What might he be looking for from you?

I can assist you in analyzing and identifying the emotions and states that would be beneficial for you both to address in the next step.

It's great that you can recognize his positive qualities now. However, it's important to understand that the triggers for your emotional outbursts and the thoughts in your head are inconsistent, which is a significant challenge in your relationship.

If you'd like, you can write down your personal criticisms and opinions of him in detail. You're also welcome to click on my personal homepage to ask me questions.

I will analyze the specific incident based on the specific circumstances, plus the role of you as a girlfriend in the breakup. I'm happy to help you work out how you can recover, how you can change, or how we should talk to him. Would a short essay be useful?

Perhaps we could consider what tone would be most appropriate to use? Or whether we should invite him out?

Let's work together to find the best way to restore your relationship.

If I might suggest, I believe that is what you really want to pursue and achieve.

I will then await your reply and wish you all the best.

Hello, question asker! I'm Jiang 61.

First of all, thank you for trusting us and being willing to tell us about your confusion in order to get answers. It seems like you're asking whether you should always want an explanation.

"After reading your introduction and understanding the issues between you, I'd like to discuss them with you.

1. Introduction

1⃣️, boyfriend

You said, "My boyfriend and I have been together for six months, and we've had our fair share of arguments. I've always been unhappy with the way he thinks and deals with things."

He's a good man and takes good care of our family. He really tries to take care of me.

"But a lot of the time, he struggles to handle our conflicts well, communicate our problems effectively, or wait for me to get the result I want, which often leads to me losing my temper. Initially, I was disappointed, but then I started to feel resentful."

He's a good man.

From what you've said, it seems like you have a very considerate and caring boyfriend who treats you well, takes care of the family, and tries his best to take care of you.

There were disagreements.

When you have conflicts and disagreements, he tends to avoid communication, and you don't always get the results you want. You've also mentioned that you don't fully align with his way of thinking, ideas, and approach to handling things.

So, over time, you'll probably get frustrated and angry when you don't get the results you want.

2⃣️, The conflict intensified

You said, "I started to throw a fit and smash things, and it got worse and worse. The longer something remained unresolved, the more frequently we argued, and often, it started with me."

He couldn't take it either, and often lost his temper, choking me and shaking me. I became even more desperate.

"Afterwards, we often sympathize with each other. We can't stand being apart."

"We argued and fought, and after six months, my emotions became pathological, with depression and random thoughts. I couldn't control my pain and went a little crazy."

He was also hurting. This time, I dropped my suitcase, phone, and keys on the street and subway, and I went crazy kicking trash cans.

I was angry, reckless, and out of control. I was angry at him for not being able to communicate his feelings to me properly after all the times we had argued. I felt like the victim and always wanted an explanation.

"

He was quite emotional.

Your differences can't be resolved effectively, which causes you to fluctuate emotionally. You throw tantrums, smash things, and your arguments often start with you. His emotions are also provoked by you, and he even strangles you and shakes you.

Depression and mania

You've been together for six months, and you've been fighting the whole time. You've become depressed and have been thinking erratically, to the point where you've lost your luggage, phone, and keys on the subway. When you're manic, you go a little crazy and kick trash cans without thinking.

Complaints

You say he doesn't understand you and doesn't communicate well. You feel it's all his fault, that you're the victim, and that you always want an explanation. It seems he's also unable to do anything about your conflicts and is suffering.

3⃣️, Breakup

You said he helped you pick up your luggage, got you a new phone, and took you to the bus station.

When I got home, I was still upset and said that I wanted to break up, blaming him and saying that I was hurt. This time, he said that he wanted to break up.

"

Unforgiving

When you had a nervous breakdown, you lost your luggage, but he helped you get it back, gave you a new mobile phone, and took you to the station. When you got home, you were still being difficult and saying unkind things.

Breakup

Your constant nagging, complaining about your injuries, and blaming him for everything finally made him decide to break up with you as well. I guess this is the last thing you expected.

2. Reasons for conflict

1⃣️ Post-traumatic stress disorder

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

PTSD is a type of stress-related disorder with severe symptoms, a poor outlook, and the potential for brain damage. It refers to stress-related disorders that occur when someone faces a major psychological stressor, such as a natural disaster, traffic accident, sudden loss of a loved one, bullying, or other traumatic event.

If you've experienced

From what you've said, it seems like you have a serious emotional block that hasn't been resolved. Whenever there's a conflict, you're reminded of the past and feel aggrieved, so you don't let him off the hook.

2⃣️ The influence of family life

? Original family

The term "original family" refers to the family in which you were born and raised. The atmosphere in this family, its traditions and customs, the role models for children in terms of family roles, and the interactions between family members all influence how children will behave in their new family later on.

Influence

You tend to complain and lose your temper, and you often feel that the other person has a persuasive way of behaving. I think this may be related to your upbringing. Perhaps your parents were very dominant and liked to repeatedly demand that you give them an explanation when they thought you had done something wrong.

So, when you think it's his fault, you'll also demand an explanation. If you don't get one, you'll become depressed and then crazy.

This is down to your upbringing.

3⃣, due to personality

From what you've said, I get the impression that you're someone who is quite stubborn and tends to be accusatory and depressive.

People with an accusatory personality

People who blame others often ignore others, are used to attacking and criticizing, and pass the buck. They often say things like, "It's all your fault," or "What's wrong with you?"

Inner experiences for accusatory people usually end in failure, but they prefer to isolate themselves from others and maintain their authority. So, when you have a conflict with your boyfriend, you'll probably complain that it's his fault. It's likely that you're less likely to find problems in yourself and are used to blaming others, especially what your boyfriend does.

People with a depressive personality

Here are the key characteristics of a melancholic personality:

They're thoughtful, highly sensitive, idealistic, and in pursuit of truth, goodness, and beauty.

On the plus side, you're sensitive, loyal, talented, and insightful.

Weaknesses: self-centered, pessimistic, and passive.

At your core, you're a perfectionist, so you're pretty demanding of yourself and others. You often expect others to do things your way, or you'll get pretty fired up or get caught up in your own world, stressing how others should be.

3. What to do

When we're facing a problem, we want to understand why someone did something. To do that, we need to communicate well, be empathetic, and understand the other person's character. Once we understand why, we can change the situation.

1⃣️, Understanding others

?? Understanding others

Many of the problems we have nowadays come from not understanding the other person's temperament or character and expecting them to do things our way. This is pretty unrealistic.

So, the first thing we need to do to change the situation is understand the other person.

?? Accepting others

We understand others so we can grasp why they do what they do, accept their actions, and stop worrying about what they should or shouldn't do.

2. Empathize with others.

Empathy

Empathy is a way of communicating that involves understanding what someone is feeling from their perspective and then sharing that understanding with them.

Empathy lets us see things from someone else's perspective. It means putting ourselves in their shoes, so to speak, and imagining what it would be like to be in their situation at the same time and place.

Empathy

Empathy helps us understand others better. If we learn to listen, we can see things from the other person's perspective. We can then stop worrying about why the other person doesn't understand how we feel and just get on with things.

3⃣️, Effective Communication

We all face conflicts in life, and effective communication is a great way to resolve them.

Effective communication

Communication is basically the exchange of information. It's the whole process of sharing a message with someone with the hope that they'll respond in a certain way. If that happens, it's effective communication.

Communication includes both verbal and non-verbal messages, with the non-verbal component usually being more important than the verbal component. Effective communication is really important when it comes to intimate relationships and complex social relationships.

Here are the steps to effective communication:

There are four steps to effective communication:

Step 1: Talk about your feelings, not your emotions.

Step 2: State what you want, not what you don't want. Express yourself as angry, not as angry at expressing.

Step 3: Speak up about what you need instead of complaining. Don't let the other person guess what you want.

Step 4: Instead of complaining about where you are, express where you want to go. Focus on the end result, not on the event itself.

If you're feeling emotional or expecting your boyfriend to understand you, you can use effective communication to clearly express your feelings, mood, needs, and what you want the other person to do. If the other person understands the source of your emotions and mood, they'll also help you relieve your negative emotions, allowing you to have a healthy, good, and stable romantic relationship.

Topic master, we'll all face people and situations in life that don't align with our expectations. If we can learn to understand and empathize with others, we'll reduce our stress and build better relationships. We'll stop dwelling on problems, let go of our need for perfection in others, and focus on making ourselves and those around us happy.

It's easier to change yourself than to change others.

I hope the original poster has a happy life!

Greetings.

You indicate that you and your partner have been in a relationship for six months and are now contemplating a separation. Regardless of the underlying cause, the dissolution of a relationship is inherently a form of loss and a source of emotional distress. I offer you a gesture of comfort from a distance.

Over the past six months, numerous arguments have transpired, and a consistent dissatisfaction with his thought processes and problem-solving abilities has emerged. However, he is a devoted partner, provides exemplary care for the family, and endeavors assiduously to attend to the couple's needs.

Thus, despite experiencing disappointment, the subject displays a tendency to become increasingly irritated and resentful, leading to frequent arguments. However, the subject does not actually leave.

In this instance, the subject was unable to regulate her emotions. She proceeded to discard her belongings, including her mobile phone and keys, and engaged in a violent outburst directed at the trash can.

The reason for the dissolution of the relationship was not disclosed; the subject merely expressed the sentiment of being a victim. In the past, when the subject lost her temper, the male partner also lost his temper, even to the extent of strangulation on one occasion.

On this occasion, however, he was quite reasonable. He assisted her in retrieving her belongings and purchased her a new mobile phone. Nevertheless, upon her return home, she remained unrelenting, stating her desire to terminate the relationship.

On this occasion, the boyfriend also bade her farewell.

Regardless of whether this separation is definitive or there is a possibility of reconciliation, it is imperative to undertake a thorough examination of the underlying issues in the relationship.

If one is unable to find common ground with one's partner, regardless of the latter's positive attributes, it becomes challenging to maintain a peaceful and accepting relationship. The question, therefore, arises as to whether one can continue to coexist with a partner with whom one has fundamental disagreements.

In the event that the two parties involved in the relationship determine that they are not a suitable match and that it is not possible for them to coexist, it is essential to be able to terminate the relationship in a calm and peaceful manner.

The phrase "he can't handle your conflicts" suggests that the relationship is being managed by one party without input from the other. This implies a passive approach, where the other party is expected to resolve issues without taking action. However, conflicts are not something that can be solely managed by one individual. It is essential to engage in open communication to address and resolve differences.

When one begins to exhibit behaviors such as resentment, emotional outbursts, and destructive actions, it is often perceived that a passive stance is being adopted.

All individuals undergo a gradual process of growth in their relationships. Romantic relationships represent the initial stage of the formation of more intimate relationships.

Regardless of the circumstances that may arise over the next six months of your relationship, it is advisable to engage in self-reflection. This entails summarizing your experiences and learning from them, with the aim of fostering more harmonious future relationships, regardless of the individuals involved.

It is possible to reflect on the aspects of the relationship that were handled correctly and those that were not.

In the future, it is essential to understand the following concepts in order to maintain a healthy and mutually beneficial relationship:

Firstly, it is important to respond to the other person in a constructive manner and to control one's temper. It is desirable for the other person to communicate effectively and to respond to such communication in a similarly constructive manner.

Should either party become resentful, destructive, or unaccommodating, the relationship may become untenable. It is therefore important to consider how the other party thinks and acts, and to address any conflicts that arise.

It is also important to consider that the relationship is maintained by both individuals. One's own actions can contribute to the emergence of conflicts between partners. If one consistently maintains a passive stance, it can lead to a situation where one becomes a victim in any relationship.

It is essential to recognize that relationships are mutual. To foster positive outcomes, it is crucial to transition from a passive to an active stance. This entails proactively seeking one's desired outcomes and striving to comprehend the most effective means of attaining them, rather than relying on the other person in the relationship.

Secondly, regardless of the thoughts and behaviors exhibited by a romantic partner, it is imperative to recognize that they are imperfect beings. While perfection is an unattainable ideal, it is crucial not to perceive the other person as a flawed individual.

It is not desirable for the other person to unquestioningly accommodate one's views, to consider one's perspective and act in accordance with it. It is also important to consider the other person's viewpoint. Accommodation should be mutual. There should be a mutual recognition of value and respect between the two parties.

Given that we are imperfect beings, it is inevitable that conflicts will arise when two imperfect individuals coexist. The issue, therefore, is not our imperfections but rather how to effectively navigate and resolve these inevitable conflicts.

Thirdly, it is imperative not to compel the other individual to alter their behaviour and adopt a manner that is incongruent with their intrinsic nature. If a transformation is necessary, it must originate from within. Given the inherent impossibility of modifying another person, the process of change must originate from the self.

Even change begins at a gradual pace, incrementally. If one initiates a change in their own behavior, it can lead to a shift in the relationship dynamic. This, in turn, may prompt the other person to alter their own behavior, creating a ripple effect of change.

It is imperative to recognize that in relationships, there is no victor or vanquished; there is only a prevailing outcome.

A relationship that is well-managed, characterised by a high degree of intimacy and harmony, can be considered a perfect match. Conversely, a relationship that is poorly managed, characterised by frequent conflicts, arguments and clashes, and a tendency to fight, can be regarded as a total loss.

The experience of relationships facilitates gradual growth. As social beings, humans engage in a multitude of intricate relationships.

Intimate relationships have the potential to either heal or cause illness. It is evident that following a series of quarrels and disputes, the individual in question has developed a range of pathological conditions, including depression and delusions. Additionally, they have exhibited a lack of control over their own pain and mental instability. It is clear that their boyfriend is also suffering as a result of this situation.

Subsequently, the two individuals may attempt to separate in a calm and collected manner, or alternatively, they may pursue another method of relationship management. In some cases, separation may be a viable option for two individuals who are not compatible with one another and who may therefore benefit from pursuing their own paths and finding partners who are better suited to them.

Regardless of the circumstances, the dissolution of a relationship is inevitably a loss. It is, after all, a painful experience, and if one is struggling to cope, it is important not to bear the burden alone. Seeking the guidance of a counselor can be beneficial in such circumstances.

It is important to identify one's strengths and weaknesses, ascertain the type of partner one desires, and then make the necessary adjustments to oneself. It is my hope that in the future, you will find a partner who is a good match for you and who will contribute to a happy and harmonious life.

It is my sincere hope that you will embrace the world and yourself with love and acceptance.

Greetings, From your account, it appears that you and your partner have been engaged in a series of disagreements that have caused you significant distress.

Facing a breakup, regardless of the underlying cause, is undoubtedly a challenging experience. I extend my support and encouragement to you.

Secondly, it would be beneficial to address these issues collectively. The discordant aspects of the relationship appear to stem from communication difficulties. It seems that your partner is unable to meet your needs effectively. It may be the case that your boyfriend is not a communicative individual or that his communication style differs from yours, which may result in misinterpretations.

The ongoing accumulation of these factors will lead to the perception that communication with your partner is impossible. This inability to communicate and the resulting lack of appreciation will ultimately result in feelings of anger.

It is evident that there is a lack of comprehension and adjustment in the mode of communication between the two parties, which ultimately exacerbates the existing anger. Consequently, there will be instances where the anger is released in a manner that is similar to the aforementioned descriptions.

It is a challenging situation. Without further information regarding your current circumstances, I can only speculate that it is emotionally difficult for you to remain in the relationship. However, both parties appear to desire reconciliation, suggesting that you still hold a strong affection for each other.

However, it is evident that there is a discrepancy between what is observed and the communication pattern between the two individuals. One potential explanation is that their personalities are dissimilar, or that they have not yet had sufficient time to become acquainted with one another. There may be other contributing factors, and it is possible to communicate with him in an open and honest manner.

Regardless of the eventual outcome, it is possible that these issues can be resolved when both parties are in a more rational frame of mind. However, it is unclear whether this is a realistic expectation.

Additionally, the message you have provided, in which you seek counsel, indicates that you continue to value this relationship, including the fact that your boyfriend also does not wish to terminate it. However, it appears that you are experiencing difficulty in communicating your feelings to each other.

It is unclear whether your decision to terminate the relationship is an effective means of expressing your frustration, or if your partner exhibits similar tendencies. This requires further examination.

In the event of mutual anger, it is possible to engage in open and constructive dialogue with the aim of clarifying each other's intentions and formulating a plan for the subsequent course of action.

In conclusion, it is important to acknowledge that confronting emotions and intimacy can potentially evoke past traumatic experiences.

Furthermore, it is challenging to empathize with the experiences of others in an intimate relationship when our childhood happiness levels vary.

It is important to note that a qualified psychological counselor can provide insight into the client's emotional state and the underlying causes of their anger.

It may be beneficial for you to discuss your emotions at the time with each other.

Furthermore, it may be beneficial to discuss one's childhood experiences in order to enhance mutual understanding.

It is also possible that this will prompt a deeper and broader understanding between the two parties, which will in turn facilitate the repair and improvement of the relationship.

Winnicott posited that the essence of a relationship is its capacity for repair.

The aforementioned represents my response. It is uncertain whether it aligns with your expectations, given the potential limitations in comprehending complex concepts within a brief text. It is possible that the nuances of my argument may not have been effectively conveyed. I request your understanding.

In any case, I wish you the best daily outcome and hope you can maintain this positive trajectory.

Should you require further clarification, I kindly request that you pose your questions once more.

Dear Sir/Madam, I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to you today because I feel you may benefit from some advice. I understand that you are currently going through a difficult time in your relationship. It seems that there have been many arguments between you and your partner, and that your partner's impulsive behavior has caused you distress. I empathize with your situation and I want to offer you some guidance. Please do not hesitate to contact me if you would like to discuss this further. I am here to help.

I can appreciate the challenges you're facing and the confusion you're experiencing. In the six months of your relationship, there have been many arguments, and it often seems to start with you and end with his impulsive behavior and your despair.

It is natural to experience disappointment, resentment, and even emotional symptoms when we are in a difficult situation.

I would like to respectfully point out that emotional problems are not the responsibility of one party. In your arguments, you mentioned that you always expect him to communicate his feelings better, which shows that you want to communicate more smoothly.

However, it is possible that some of your emotional displays, such as smashing things up and losing your temper, may have prevented effective communication between you.

It's often the case that when problems arise in a relationship, it takes two to tango. It's possible that your reaction may have inadvertently contributed to the situation. In your relationship, your behavior may have played a role in his impulsive actions, which may have made you feel more victimized.

Now, he has proposed to break up, which has undoubtedly caused you a great deal of pain. However, it is important to remember that breaking up does not have to be a hopeless end.

It might be helpful to take some time to reflect on the relationship and identify any areas that could be improved. If you still have feelings for him, you may find it beneficial to seek the guidance of a professional counselor or coach to gain a deeper understanding of your relationship and your own emotions.

It might be helpful to remember that your value is not defined by a relationship. It's a good idea to take care of your emotions and health, and to seek support from friends or family if you need it.

Dear questioner, I understand how you feel. This is a painful and confusing time. You have struggled in this relationship, but you are not alone. We will always support you.

You're not born brave. You show bravery when you face difficulties. You've been trying hard to deal with your emotions. You're doing a good job.

Communication is important in your relationship. If you feel like you're not communicating well, try new ways to express your feelings.

For example, you can choose a quiet time and place to share your feelings and thoughts with your boyfriend. You can tell him what you need from him and what you think is wrong.

Also, listen to him and try to understand him.

Also, learn to control your emotions. When you feel upset, try to relax.

These methods help you relax and handle your emotions better.

I know this is hard. If you think breaking up is best, give yourself time to deal with your feelings.

Also, tell your boyfriend your decision and thank him for his support.

I hope you know you deserve love and respect. You have value and strength. Don't let this relationship make you feel otherwise.

You can solve your problems. Believe in yourself.

We're here for you. Stay strong!

Dear Sir/Madam, I have received your sincere question. I am ZQ, a heart exploration coach on the Yixinli platform. It is evident that the love story between you has encountered significant challenges in a relatively short period of time. The majority of your interactions have been characterised by disagreements and conflicts. Do you have an understanding of

The rationale behind the boyfriend's decision to propose a breakup can be attributed to the fact that engaging in heated arguments does not serve to intensify feelings of affection. Instead, it tends to foster a sense of disappointment and apathy in one or both parties involved. During the course of your relationship, it became evident that there were a dearth of positive interactions and displays of warmth.

Even if a man is a model family member and expresses a strong affinity for the individual in question, he may ultimately be unable to tolerate such behavior. Some extreme actions are particularly challenging to accept, such as throwing objects onto a public thoroughfare or engaging in a public display of discord.

Such behavior is also likely to be perceived as embarrassing by the individual in question. Furthermore, it represents a significant detriment to one's personal image.

Both individuals possess a multitude of internal emotions. When attempting to convey one's feelings to another, it is essential to first comprehend the other person's thoughts.

It is only through this process that a relationship can be sustained, as it is based on the fundamental principle of mutual equality between men and women. It is not sufficient to assume that the male partner is solely responsible for providing care and support; both parties must be prepared to contribute to the relationship in a balanced manner. If this is not currently feasible, or if the other person is unable to comprehend your feelings, it may indicate that your needs are not yet aligned.

It can be reasonably deduced that the two individuals in question have not yet reached a stage of compatibility, given that as people age, they are likely to gain a deeper understanding of themselves and their circumstances. If they have not had the opportunity to accumulate a significant amount of life experience, they may not possess the capacity to provide adequate care or to comprehend the nuances of others' perspectives.

Ultimately, our emotional experiences are distinct, and it is challenging to fully comprehend the nuances of another person's feelings. When we impose significant expectations on our partners and fail to acknowledge their individual emotional needs, it becomes exceedingly difficult to maintain a healthy relationship.

In the process of becoming angry, the other person will be hurt again, and the individual will feel very bad about themselves. In such a case, the love in question is not a beautiful love, but rather a kind of torture. It would be best not to recommend being together. The problem can be seen to be poor communication.

While I am unaware of the precise nature of the communication issue, I believe that a more detailed examination of the matter may prove beneficial. This could potentially lead to the identification of specific problems and the formulation of solutions to enhance communication. It may also facilitate a deeper understanding of the other person's perspective and the necessary adjustments to achieve a more effective resolution.

In lieu of a final emotional outburst, hysteria, and all manner of cursing and physical violence, such an outcome would be detrimental. Should the necessity arise, one may also pursue counseling to ascertain the viability of salvaging the relationship prior to its dissolution. Both parties may endeavor to implement minor alterations, strive for mutual tolerance, and extend well-wishes to one another.

Please clarify.

Hello, question asker. I'd like to have a chat with you because I can see you're feeling confused.

You mentioned that you've been through a difficult experience, in which you and your boyfriend had a disagreement that led to some intense emotions and actions on your part. It seems that you were seeking an explanation from your boyfriend, but it's understandable that he might not have provided the level of clarity you were hoping for. This can be a challenging situation to navigate, especially when emotions are running high. After the argument, you expressed that you felt like breaking up with your boyfriend. It's natural to experience a range of intense emotions in such a situation, and it's understandable that you wanted to process your feelings and consider your options.

I would like to suggest that he hug you. From what you said, it seems that you are also in a lot of pain. It seems that you are not quite sure what you want, which can be difficult for the other person too.

If others are unable to discern the speaker's desires, they may experience distress. Conversely, if the questioner is aware of his own needs, he is less likely to suffer.

The questioner has had a number of disagreements with her boyfriend over the past six months. While there are aspects of him that the questioner is not entirely satisfied with, there are also aspects that she finds infatuating. Unfortunately, there have been instances where he has become impulsive and caused her pain, which is understandably distressing.

In the recent disagreement, your boyfriend showed consideration by retrieving your belongings and returning your phone. This suggests that he may not be as heartless as you initially perceived.

The questioner said that he is not brave, never has been. Could it be that being brave is what causes the breakup?

Could it perhaps be that communicating well with her boyfriend is not seen as brave? Or is there something else at play?

From the description of the questioner, I hope the questioner will take some time to reflect on their needs when they calm down. What would be a positive outcome for you?

Given that you have indicated that you may become angry, resentful, and throw a tantrum if you don't get the result you want, this aspect is quite important. It would be beneficial for the questioner to be self-aware in this regard.

Secondly, regardless of whether you reconcile with your boyfriend or not, it is important for the questioner to focus on healing and self-care. Otherwise, the challenges you face in your current relationship may resurface in future ones. It is essential to take time for introspection, shift your perspective, and challenge your thoughts and beliefs. This process may initially seem daunting, but with patience and dedication, you can navigate it successfully.

The questioner might also consider contacting the instant listening service to discuss and express their emotions. It seems that you may have been holding back for some time, and this particular text is somewhat limited in scope. Alternatively, the questioner could explore the option of speaking with a psychologist.

You might also consider reading some psychology books, such as "Nonviolent Communication." It might be helpful to read it and practice a lot.

I hope these suggestions are helpful. I wish you the best and encourage you to keep smiling.

At Yi Xinli, we extend our love and support to you.

Greetings, I can fully empathize with your current emotional state. Your feelings are akin to the tumultuous waves of the sea during a storm, undulating and tumultuous, unable to find a tranquil haven.

In a romantic relationship, it is commonly held that individuals seek a partner with whom they can form a deep emotional connection and enjoy a harmonious relationship. However, the reality is often more complex and imperfect than the idealized portrayal in fairy tales.

It is evident that your boyfriend has endeavored to provide care and support in numerous ways, which exemplifies his strength, commitment, and value in the relationship. However, when confronted with conflicts, both parties appear to have become enmeshed in an emotional vortex, impeding effective communication and the resolution of disputes.

The pain, resentment, and pathological mood swings experienced by the individual in question are largely the result of an unmet desire for understanding and empathy. It is important to note that this is not a reflection of personal fault, either on the part of the individual or their partner. Rather, it is a challenge that many individuals face in intimate relationships.

Firstly, it is important to note that neither smashing objects nor self-harm represents a healthy method of expressing emotions. This approach not only exacerbates the tension between partners but also has a detrimental impact on both physical and mental health. It is essential for both individuals to learn more mature ways of dealing with disagreements and grievances. This can be achieved through calm and rational communication, as well as honest and open sharing of feelings. It is crucial to avoid covering up inner vulnerability with anger and aggression.

Secondly, his actions of choking and shaking you are wholly unacceptable. Regardless of the circumstances, violence is never an appropriate means of resolving conflicts. Such actions extend beyond the scope of normal arguments between partners and pose a significant threat to your personal safety.

Despite his assertion that he is ending the relationship, the fundamental elements of your bond remain intact. It is evident that a considerable amount of time has been spent in a state of profound romantic attachment over the past six months. It may, therefore, be beneficial to allow yourselves a period of reflection and personal growth, during which you can learn to better navigate the complexities of emotional intimacy.

Additionally, it is recommended that you seek professional psychological counseling to alleviate depressive symptoms and emotional out-of-control problems.

Every experience is a trial and an opportunity for growth. The meaning of love is not limited to the positive moments; it also encompasses the process of facing challenges together, providing support, and making progress together. It is my hope that you will draw strength from this experience, learn to love yourself, and develop healthier ways of loving others.

Even in the event of a final decision to terminate the relationship, it is imperative to maintain a forward-thinking outlook and self-respect.

Love is about mutual understanding and building a relationship together. I believe the OP is expressing regret, which is revealed inadvertently when reminiscing. In most cases, it is about not being understood or cared for, which has led to the decision to end the relationship, but the pain of letting go is still present.

Could your outbursts of anger be a sign that you have doubts about why you and your partner can't seem to get along? Have you had the chance to communicate well after an argument to gain a deeper understanding of each other?

It is important to remember that love is a two-way street and that the success or failure of a relationship is often a result of both partners' actions and inactions. It is also essential to recognize that the other person may have shortcomings, including a lack of understanding, communication difficulties, differing perspectives, and a lack of emotional intelligence. Pure love, like any powerful force, can often overcome significant obstacles. However, it is also important to acknowledge that love cannot be forced and that it requires mutual understanding and respect to flourish.

Painful moments can be valuable for reflection and growth. Just as an injury heals and scars, we become stronger. The OP may wish to become a "stronger" person, which would involve facing problems head-on. This is something both sides could improve. They may need to gain more control over their emotions in conflicts. Both sides could benefit from this approach. This could help to avoid sudden and regrettable losses.

I used to have a tendency to be quite hot-tempered, which often led to disagreements. In comparison, she often feels similarly, as though she is not being understood and has a sense of grievance and even "hidden resentment." While I empathize with her situation, I also believe that everyone should strive to find a balance between embracing the excitement of life's adventures and seeking a sense of stability and comfort.

While the past is a valuable learning experience, the future holds even greater promise. It is my hope that the questioner will embrace the journey ahead with courage and find a partner with whom she can deeply connect.