Junior high school is stressful, why am I sometimes so sad?

Good morning, host.

My name is letmefly, and I'm here to offer you my support and to hear your thoughts.

The original poster is currently a junior high school student. It seems that her parents and teachers are encouraging her to work harder, yet she feels that she is already exerting a great deal of anxiety/efforts-made-yet-still-unhappy-no-longer-want-to-heal-an-unhappy-childhood-12859.html" target="_blank">effort, yet this does not seem to be fully recognized. She is experiencing feelings of being misunderstood and is struggling with anxiety and irritability. I can relate to your situation and I want to offer you my support.

First of all, I'm not sure of the specifics of the original poster's situation. For instance, I'm not aware of their grades, how they compare to the class average, or what expectations the teachers and parents have for them.

It would be beneficial to learn to communicate with our parents. It is important to let them know what you think, where the difficulty of the current study lies, and how you want to solve it yourself. From my perspective as a parent, as long as you start thinking about these issues to improve yourself, your parents will immediately feel that you have grown up.

In that case, it seems that parents and you are on the same side. If the course is too difficult and you need someone to help you, parents or teachers are willing to help. However, they may not be able to help if you refuse to communicate with your parents and just tell them that you are trying hard.

It is only natural for parents and teachers to hope that you will do well in the exam.

If you feel that you need additional support, the school also offers free psychological counseling services. It's important to remember that you have the capacity to take care of yourself. I believe you can do it.

I hope I can be of some help to you. I would be grateful for any feedback, attention, or praise you could give me.

First and foremost, it is crucial for parents and teachers to recognize the efforts of the questioner. While they may feel compelled to supervise the questioner's studies, it is essential to recognize that they have chosen an approach that is not only ineffective but also burdensome for the questioner.

I have a child in the seventh grade at home, and I would like to share with the original poster my experience as a parent in the hope that it might be helpful to you.

It is a common experience for students to feel pressure to perform well in their studies, regardless of their circumstances. It is not uncommon for parents to feel the need to be involved in their children's academic journey, even when they have encouraged them to take ownership of their studies.

Most children and parents are ordinary people. Children have to pass the high school entrance exam and the college entrance exam, get into a good university and a good major, find a good job, and lead a stable life. Parents often feel that children need supervision, so they help their children find good tutors, and they sometimes feel that they should not get involved in anything except their children's studies.

Many parents are simply trying to do their best, believing that their role is to encourage their children to work hard, keep an eye on them while they study, and limit their access to phones and tablets. They hope that by taking these steps, their children will be more likely to concentrate on their studies and perform well in school.

When a child asks a question they don't know the answer to, if the parent doesn't know it either, they don't feel it's necessary to learn it with the child, and let the child figure it out on their own. When a child is upset with a friend and wants to complain to a parent for comfort, the parent may not fully understand why the child is upset, and feel it's not a significant issue. When a child wants to run for club president and asks for the parent's technical support, the parent may feel it will delay the child's studies and not agree to let the child do it...

It is also worth noting that many parents report a change in their children after they enter junior high school. They often report that their children are less compliant, more argumentative, and less well-behaved than they were when they were younger. However, many parents do not explore the reasons behind these changes. Is it simply a normal part of adolescence, or could there be underlying factors that the children themselves are not aware of? As parents, how should we view these changes in our children, and what different methods of communication might be more effective?

Exploring the reasons often requires learning and change, which can be challenging for adults. They may feel too tired or busy, or may have to face their own shortcomings.

It is understandable that parents may be inclined to choose a method that is familiar to them and does not require much thought. However, this can sometimes result in behaviors like nagging and controlling the child, which may not be the most effective approach. It is important to remember that children need to develop their independence and should not be forced back into a state of obedience.

As a junior high school student, the OP is already under a lot of pressure to study. It would be beneficial for the family to provide understanding, release, and support. Therefore, I respectfully support the OP's "rebellion."

It's not the kind of rebellion that involves arguing or running away from home. When people are under strong emotions, it can be challenging for them to express themselves or listen properly, which can make communication difficult.

It might be helpful to share your thoughts in a clear and calm manner when the questioner and parents are in a stable and relatively calm environment.

They have clear goals and plans for their studies and a reasonable arrangement of their time. They are aware that they sometimes use their phones, but they recognize that it may be for checking information, communicating with classmates, or taking a short break to relax. They are capable of controlling their time well. I hope they can have full confidence in themselves.

I'm not entirely comfortable with the current situation and the potential consequences it might have on them (such as a lack of trust and respect). This could have an impact on their emotional stability and might not be conducive to their studies.

It is my hope that they will feel free to do and say whatever they wish, and that they will be more open to their parents' opinions as a result.

I believe that today's junior high school students have a wealth of ideas and opinions. It would be beneficial for them to express themselves and for their parents to see them.

I encourage you to keep up the good work!

Greetings,

You indicated that you are "upset and tired." It is possible that your parents and teachers have not attempted to comprehend the underlying causes of your feelings of discontent, listlessness, and despondency.

The parents and teachers are anxious about your academic performance, yet they have never attempted to ascertain the root cause of this anxiety.

It is essential to have individuals in one's life who hold you in high regard and are willing to dedicate time to listening to you. Additionally, it is crucial to feel a sense of wholeness and transparency through open communication.

There are numerous methods for exerting oneself to the utmost, and the act of strenuous labor is a continuous process. To illustrate this concept, one might consider F. Scott Fitzgerald's novel The Great Gatsby, which portrays the awareness, persistence, and helplessness of adults striving against the prevailing current.

You fulfill your academic obligations, complete the assigned exercises, and demonstrate a commendable work ethic.

You engage in reading, pursue the acquisition of knowledge outside the conventional curriculum, and apply yourself to your studies with even greater assiduity.

It is also important to occasionally adjust one's body and mind and observe the scenery outside the window. Furthermore, it is essential to work hard to become a more reliable person who can perceive vitality more. Confucius said, "A gentleman is not a vessel," which signifies that people are not defined or stereotyped.

The journey ahead is lengthy and arduous, yet I am resolved to pursue it.

I perceive your capacity for tolerance and understanding of your parents and teachers.

It is my sincere hope that you will undertake each journey you desire to take with the company of good friends.

I wish you the best of success in your endeavors.