Lack of self-confidence and feeling inferior; is it related to a child's growth experience?

Topic Master, it seems that your current state of life may not be as fulfilling as you would like. Would you be open to a conversation about it?

You say, "I'm so scared right now, I'm afraid I won't be able to do anything right." Perhaps this thought, which is accompanied by strong emotions, is holding us back from taking action and moving forward.

It might be helpful to try to be as specific as possible and sort out the things we fear the most, the things we are more afraid of, and the things we are a little afraid of, from the "fear of doing everything badly."

Perhaps you could start with something you are a little afraid of and use a behavioral experiment to "prove" whether your fear is actually based on facts.

If I might make a suggestion, for example, according to your narrative:

Perhaps the thing you fear the most is being too lazy to even look for a job.

If something happens, you may feel impatient. "Treat this as something you are a bit afraid of.

If you feel like you can't get a word in edgewise, it might give the impression that the other person doesn't really want to talk to you.

We might consider starting with something we are a little afraid of to increase the topics of conversation, such as hot news or things that the public, especially female friends, may be interested in. Then we could look for a friend we get along with relatively well and invite them to have an in-depth chat.

It might be helpful to start by listening carefully, showing that you are a positive listener, and responding to your friend's emotions and words in a way that is non-verbal.

You might find these books helpful.

I would like to suggest Carnegie's "Human Nature's Weakness" as a further resource.

I would also suggest Nicki Stanton's "Communication Bible."

I would also suggest Peter Myers's "Effective Presentations."

I would also suggest Corey Patterson's book, Crucial Conversations.

It is my sincere hope that the above will prove enlightening and helpful, and that your future will be brighter than ever.

I hope the world and I can be of service to you!

I saw a video on a platform about a family entertainment center with a sauna, games, and a private capsule for people with social phobias. Each floor has a specific function, including eating, drinking, and playing.

Many people lack self-confidence and are full of fears. You can also see if you have already experienced discomfort. You are afraid of finding a job and even of being short-tempered.

Fear and impatience may be related to past experiences. It can feel like anxiety. You can take a test to understand your personality.

If people don't know how to respond after you say something, you can write a script to refresh your thoughts and improve yourself.

You can also look at your own childhood to see if your parents were neglectful or if you had no friends. This could make you feel isolated and unsure of yourself. As a heart exploration coach, I recommend reading books on self-esteem, thinking, communication, and relationships. Good luck!

ZQ?

Hello, original poster! It's like seeing you in person after reading your words!

After reading your description, I actually thought a little about myself in the past. Of course, I have now come through a similar experience as the one you mentioned in your description. And I am sharing this with you now because I want to tell you that your way of dealing with it is much better than the way I dealt with the same experience back then. It's so great that you were afraid of this matter and could think of releasing it here to ask for help! It shows your strong desire to grow, which is wonderful!

Okay, let's try to sort out and analyze the problems and questions you mentioned based on your description, my friend.

You said, "I'm getting more and more afraid of life, even afraid of finding a job." It's okay to feel this way! We've all been there. Take a deep breath and ask yourself:

a. I'd love to know more about what's behind this growing fear of life.

b. I'm really curious to know why you're afraid of finding a job.

You also said, "I have no idea about life, and whenever something happens, I get impatient and just do it without thinking." I actually felt a bit conflicted when I read this, because on the one hand you "have no idea about life," but on the other hand you "get impatient and just do it without thinking whenever something happens." Do you see the difference between these two actions? To put it more clearly, you do have the ability to act!

It's totally normal to worry about things that might affect your future. The thing is, life is full of so many different things that we can't always predict. Because of that, it's only natural to feel anxious sometimes. There's no one right way to have EQ. How comfortable we are communicating with others depends a lot on the kind of group we're in. And there are so many different kinds of groups! The best groups are made up of people who bring out the best in each other.

I can't say for sure if what you're feeling is related to your upbringing, but I just wanted to let you know that no matter what you've been through, it'll all be ok in the end.

Of course, we can and should keep the feelings we had at the time.

Please remember, we'll all grow up, but that doesn't mean we have to change who we are. It's okay to feel differently in different situations because we all have different experiences.

I hope you find a circle that makes you feel right at home. There, you can heal yourself and warm others.

You can do this, and I believe in you!

I wish you all the very best!

Hello there!

From what you've told me, it seems like you're going through a rough patch. It's totally normal to feel like your heart is weak and you're not confident in yourself, especially when it comes to work, love, having a girlfriend, or relationships. We've all been there! It's okay to feel like you're lacking in some areas. But it's also important to recognize that you're not alone in this.

It's totally normal to feel inferior and scared about all aspects of life. We all have our own unique growth experiences that shape who we are.

I think you're pretty self-aware and have a good grasp on your own situation. You've had some great experiences and made some good contacts along the way, right? But I get the feeling that you haven't had the best experiences and that you've been through a lot. Do you feel like you haven't been taken care of as much as you could have been? Since childhood, you've had to face a lot of challenges and have had to figure things out on your own. It's been tough, right?

You are exactly where you need to be to help the child within yourself who has been lacking along the way. Use your current strength to listen to him well, accompany him, and let his hand slowly reach out to the distance. In the process, you can gradually become brave and strong, slowly growing and growing into the self you want in your heart.

In this process, you can ask for help from a teacher if you need it, or you can be your own teacher, learning and growing at your own pace.

Dear question owner, It is a pleasure to read your words. From them, I sense a fear of your childhood, or a feeling of helplessness and confusion about your current environment. I will describe my point of view, and I hope that my answer will be enlightening.

If you have mentioned whether your own experiences after growing up are related to the experiences of children, you may have heard the saying that a happy childhood heals for a lifetime, while an unhappy childhood heals with a lifetime. Many articles have mentioned that childhood experiences can affect various relationships in adulthood.

These articles suggest that the harm we experience may be caused unconsciously by our parents. While every parent loves their child, the ways of love differ, and they have already given them the best they can. It's not reasonable to expect someone with only bread to give you cake.

Some psychologists have also observed that children who experience hurt as adults may exhibit qualities similar to those of ordinary adults, such as courage, strength, and a willingness to help others. These children may also demonstrate resilience in the face of challenges and a positive, optimistic outlook.

I hope it is helpful to mention these points, as they illustrate that everyone is constantly evolving and that everyone's personality is malleable, not set in stone. It may be beneficial to believe that you will get better and better.

You mentioned that you feel scared and fearful when things happen in your life, and that your emotional intelligence is low. When you talk to your friends, you feel that they don't want to chat. Could you please tell me more about how this situation came about?

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider that your feelings of insecurity may be influencing your perception of the outside world. It's possible that your fear of the unknown is rooted in an underlying sense of insecurity. When we embrace love and self-compassion, we tend to feel less afraid and more confident in our ability to navigate challenges on our own. It's also important to acknowledge that our upbringing can shape our perceptions and behaviors, including how we interact with the world around us.

As a baby, you may have cried to express your needs, but perhaps your parents did not provide you with the security and hugs and touches you needed at the time. This could have led to feelings of anxiety and fear. As you grew up, you may have gradually stopped seeking security from others and started focusing on yourself, perhaps rejecting others' contact or feeling that you paid too much attention to your parents' emotions, rather than the other way around. These are all things that could have happened as a result of your relationships during your growth process, and they may have caused some issues that you are still dealing with today.

You might find it helpful to read the psychology set "Beyond the Power of the Original Family." It could provide you with some insights. You can access it through the WeChat Reading app.

I wish you the best!

I would like to express my love for the world and for you.

Hello, host! I really hope my answer can be of some help to you.

Let's take a moment to understand why we might have low self-esteem.

From a psychological perspective, the period from the age of 3 or 4 to the age of 13 or 14 is the stage of social self-formation. During this period, we come to understand ourselves based on the way others perceive us. If we are constantly negatively judged by our parents, teachers, or others during this period, for example, if we are told that we don't look good, that we have a bad personality, and so on, it can be really tough. We might gradually internalize these negative comments, and when we grow up, we might find ourselves struggling with self-doubt.

We can't blame our parents or teachers, though. They're only human, just like us! They formed some of their evaluation standards and cognitive systems through their own growth experiences, living environments, and educational backgrounds. So, they use these standards to measure and educate you. They may think that pointing out your shortcomings and deficiencies is beneficial to you and promotes your growth, but they don't know that it will make you form a self-denying mindset.

The past is in the past, and we can't change it. What we can do is adjust our attitude towards it. When you know that it's not really your fault, and that your parents did their best to give you the best education they could, all you can do is accept it. Accepting our parents for who they are, they're not perfect, but we can't change them. We can change ourselves, though!

How can you change yourself, my friend?

The first step is to accept yourself, my friend. Accept your own character and your own imperfections. See your own shortcomings and inadequacies, but also your own strengths and values.

The first step to becoming more and more confident is to accept yourself, my friend.

It's okay if it's not easy to accept yourself. We all have shortcomings, but we also have so many strengths and so much value. You can bring your strengths into play and live a good life with your shortcomings. When you're feeling down, remember that you're worthy of love and acceptance.

When you accept yourself, you can live with your shortcomings. Your heart will become increasingly at ease and more and more powerful.

You're not alone! Many people are just like you, imperfect, but many people can live well with their own shortcomings. You need to see the complete, true, and comprehensive self, accept your own imperfections, and live a carefree life.

The second step is to recognize all the wonderful things about yourself and give yourself lots of positive, encouraging thoughts.

Affirming and supporting ourselves is the key to becoming more confident, my friend!

It's only natural that when something is missing inside us, we'll seek it outside. But, as we all know, everything outside is unstable and beyond our control. The good news is that the only thing we can control is ourselves, that is, our own actions and thoughts.

It's okay to need external recognition. It just shows that we don't recognize ourselves enough. So let's practice recognizing and encouraging ourselves! When we recognize and support ourselves enough, we won't care so much about the recognition and evaluation of others.

And when you accept and recognize yourself, it'll be like magic! Others will also increasingly recognize and trust you, because you'll exude your own charm and radiate confidence.

So, remember, you are the source of everything! Change yourself, and you'll change your world!

And don't forget to cultivate your self-confidence and sense of security, and to constantly improve your abilities and knowledge!

You know, confidence really does come from strength and hard work. And when we become someone we approve of through our own efforts, we'll become more and more confident and feel more and more secure.

You can set yourself some lovely goals and then work towards achieving them one step at a time. By achieving your goals, your abilities will gradually improve, your knowledge will accumulate, and your experience will become richer and richer. You will feel more and more secure, have a greater sense of control over your life, and naturally become more and more confident.

It's so important to find the right balance when setting goals. If they're too easy, you might lose interest and motivation. But if they're too challenging, you might feel overwhelmed and discouraged. The best goals are ones that are just right for you. When you find that sweet spot, you'll feel a sense of accomplishment and confidence.

So, if you're currently walking 4,000 steps a day, why not aim for 4,500-5,000 steps a day? That's a great place to start!

When you set goals that suit you according to your abilities, the most important thing is to persevere and take action. You've got this! Only action can help you overcome difficulties and truly experience your own value.

Please keep encouraging yourself, keep giving yourself positive mental suggestions, and believe that you can do it, and you really can!

It's also important to remember that you shouldn't worry too much about what others say. We can't control how other people think or act, so there's no need to fret over it. Their opinions are their own business. You just need to focus on doing your own thing, taking control of your actions and thoughts, and pushing yourself to grow. With time, you'll become more confident and better in all areas.

I'm rooting for you!

Hello, I hope this message finds you well. I came across this question three days ago and have been reflecting on it ever since.

I am currently taking a course related to the psychoanalytic school of psychology, and today I organized my notes with the hope of providing the questioner with some input.

"The interpersonal relationship school has a mental model. Sullivan believes that other people's reactions may contribute to feelings of anxiety. If other people's reactions are not very positive, it's possible that the baby may develop a negative self-perception.

It is thought that the acceptance and satisfaction of others will allow the baby to form a good self-image.

"When anxiety is very strong, babies may develop a sense of 'not me,' which could be a very strong defense."

"It could be said that the most vulnerable and helpless part of mental development can lead to a sense of not belonging."

Please find below a compilation of the notes I have taken.

The questioner mentioned "fear" on several occasions, including fear of finding a job and fear of dealing with people. Overall, it seems to be a fear of being unable to get along with others and ultimately establish a good connection with others through one's own efforts.

It is important to remember that childhood wounds are irreversible. Therefore, it is crucial not to blame yourself. Regardless of who is responsible, whether it be your parents or other relatives, it is essential to recognize that everyone has a role to play. If there have been failures along the way, it is vital to forgive yourself and to learn to cherish yourself and each day of your life.

If you awaken now, you will find love and hope.

If you are open to trying to change, you may find ways to learn and grow. As you become more comfortable with your own character and pace, learning may become less painful, and you may gradually become more at ease.

I would gently suggest that the questioner consider purchasing some books related to communication and listening. After reading them, it might be helpful to put what you have learned into practice and try it out when dealing with friends, and then read and revise again.

Ultimately, if you find yourself less attached to the ideas presented in books, it could be an indication that your knowledge base has grown and your emotional intelligence and resilience quotient have naturally improved.

It is important to remember that the strength of others can be trusted, and that adjusting your perspective and being able to distinguish between good and evil is key.

I hope that you will meet someone who can help you to overcome your difficulties. Perhaps you could even dance together.

Good day. The apprehension you feel about life and social interactions is influenced by your childhood experiences. However, it is also closely tied to your self-perception.

The experiences of children affect our self-perception. You are increasingly afraid of life, unsure of how to engage in conversation or what topics to avoid. You are afraid of doing everything badly, and this state of worrying about gains and losses is also affecting your emotions and behavior. If your fears are confirmed, you will be even more afraid. Hug.

1. In order to draw a conclusion, it is necessary to gain further insight into the specific experience that has led to this situation. At this stage, it is advisable to rely on your own perception and recall. When you were a child, did you experience rejection socially or in doing things? Or did you receive two different responses to the same action, leaving you uncertain about how to proceed?

It is possible to achieve all of this. Frustrations experienced in childhood may result in the amplification of thoughts that we are unable to achieve, which in turn leads to the formation of the perception that we are unable to achieve them.

2. Adjust self-perception. Core beliefs at the fundamental level influence our behavior.

In other words, when you feel that the other person is uninterested in further communication, it may be that the other person is occupied with other matters, but your core belief prevents you from initiating further discussion, so you conclude the conversation. You are apprehensive about seeking employment, and perhaps you are also concerned about encountering a challenge at work that you may not be able to overcome. All of this actually affects your perception.

It is now necessary to adjust your perception to be reasonable and objective. This should include an assessment of your skills, your abilities, your shortcomings, and how you might address them.

3. Accept yourself, and refrain from self-criticism. Our thoughts are reflected in our words. When we repeat a sentence, we are reinforcing that belief. Therefore, it would be beneficial to start by praising yourself. I achieved something today that I was previously afraid to do. I had a challenging conversation today, but I feel like I've made progress here. Focus on your own progress.

If you require a highly specific response, we advise you to consult with a psychiatrist at a conventional medical facility for an evaluation. Given the intricate nature of human beings, it is challenging to make generalizations about one's past or future based on a description alone. However, it is important to recognize that the past is immutable and that the most effective approach is to confront the future head-on.

I would like to take this opportunity to express my gratitude to the world and to you, my dear reader.

Susu is a heart exploration coach.