Lacking empathy significantly, struggling to comprehend others' feelings, what should be done?

Hello, questioner.

I applaud your awareness and introspection!

You realize you want to communicate with others.

You can empathize with others.

It's rare to emotionally support others.

Have you ever thought about it?

You have a kind heart.

This desire to empathize with others and this harsh demand you place on yourself is making you anxious.

How can I stop feeling stuck?

Think about why you value anxiety/lacking-empathy-significantly-struggling-to-comprehend-others-feelings-what-should-be-done-7899.html" target="_blank">empathy with others so highly.

Often, we empathize and pay attention because of our immediate family.

Or a friend?

You want to empathize with everyone.

Do you think about your own limits?

We need a little indifference in our relationships.

This is how we know who our close friends are.

If we over-empathize, it can make strangers feel uncomfortable.

He's so enthusiastic, he can't be thinking anything bad.

This makes us guarded and defensive.

You may even doubt that you're still human.

Do you overestimate the consequences of your lack of empathy?

This post shows your high standards for yourself.

From university to work, from patients to friends.

There's a standard way of communicating.

What shouldn't you do?

Finally, in summary, Freud said:

Your anxiety comes from your demanding superego.

Your sense of right and wrong comes from your parents.

How can I resolve this?

Lower your expectations.

We're not the Virgin Mary, Jesus, or the Messiah.

We can't take care of everyone's feelings.

Manage your own boundaries.

In relationships, know which needs to be involved with and which to keep at a distance.

Do we empathize with others because of their needs or our own?

Third, find the people around you you know best and see if they feel your empathy.

Often, we can't empathize with others because we make assumptions.

From self-deprecation and not accepting yourself. Reflecting helps us understand ourselves better.

The questioner has doubts about his empathy skills. This has led to a feeling of unease about losing part of his humanity. Here's some sharing for you. I hope it can provide support and broaden your thinking.

1. Think about what empathy means.

Empathy is the ability to understand others. It includes emotional self-control, listening skills, and showing respect.

(Definition from Wikipedia).

You gave two examples to show you're losing empathy. You focused on understanding others' emotions and thoughts. When you couldn't empathize, you doubted yourself.

Empathy means listening to others and showing respect and understanding. Your example shows you do this.

The kindness is obvious.

I can sense your high standards for yourself. I'm not sure if you also have high standards for empathy.

In normal life, you would also expect to empathize with others. Perhaps competition has reduced our ability to empathize, but our desire to understand and express goodwill has not disappeared. This is an important part of human nature.

Changing how we understand empathy can help us be more objective and think about what we're doing.

2. Be kind to yourself and try to understand your feelings.

Self-discipline is not about being driven by success. It's about being a human with dignity.

The questioner's sense of purpose is strong. He will adjust his direction through inspiration.

These can help us adjust and try new things in the "empathy" part of our empathy skills.

Start by empathizing with yourself.

If we focus on ourselves, we can feel like we're the only ones who know what it's like. But if we step back and look at things from a different perspective, we can see that everyone has challenges.

Be more tolerant of yourself, appreciate your difficulties, and treat your emotions with understanding and respect.

I'm a therapist who cares for the heart. I wish you well.

I'm not a human nature explorer. I'm a therapist who cares for the heart. I wish you well.

Hello, host! It seems like empathy is a bit of a challenge for you right now, and it's totally understandable! I can feel your desire to find a solution.

From what you've told me, it seems like a lack of empathy has caused you a few issues in three main areas.

It can be really tough to understand what patients are going through when you're trying to be logical and rational.

It's totally normal to feel this way! When communicating with your girlfriend, you might find it difficult to understand her feelings, and you may only be able to offer a little comfort and advice.

It's so easy to get caught up in the pursuit of success, isn't it? You feel like you're blindly chasing self-discipline and becoming a success-driven machine. It's so important to remember that we're all human, and that's something you shouldn't lose sight of.

So, I'd love to chat with you about three ways to solve this problem.

First, I really hope you can see yourself and accept yourself. ?

From what you've told me, it seems like you have high standards for yourself. I can imagine that in a competitive environment, you feel like you need to be at your best all the time. Having excellent professional skills is a great way to do that!

You are also a pretty self-disciplined person, which I admire! You may feel that a person must have the quality of self-discipline if they want to succeed, and I get that.

You might also be someone who doesn't feel their emotions very much. In work and life, you've spent all your energy studying, researching, thinking, analyzing, and so on. This means you've always lived in a relatively rational way, without paying much attention to whether you're happy, sad, depressed, or angry.

Your girlfriend might think you're a bit of a stone-faced person who doesn't show your feelings. You might not have had much experience with your own emotions, but you've got a good head on your shoulders and you know right from wrong.

So, if you can't even see your own emotions, how can you see those of the people around you?

So, first of all, I really hope you can take a moment for yourself. Just bring that energy you've been sending out into your own heart and soul. Let yourself feel what it's like to be happy, sad, helpless, and disappointed. When you've done that, you'll understand others so much better.

Second, accept your own character traits, speaking style, etc. We all want to be good at everything, but that can create pressure on yourself. I think the ability to "empathize" is a soft skill. Having it will add points, and not having it will not affect the essential problem. Take it easy and take your time.

Second, it's really important to understand empathy, know yourself and the other person.

Empathy is a special kind of empathy, but it's not quite the same as compassion. It's the amazing ability to experience the emotions and thoughts of another person, and to understand the psychological feelings of the other person's position and actions.

Let's look at an example together. The patient said to you, "I feel really sorry for you. I can see you're working hard and trying your best, but I'm afraid it's not enough. I've spent a lot of money, but I'm still not getting better." It's so sad to hear that he's feeling helpless and hopeless. It's so frustrating when things don't get better even though you've tried your best and spent a lot of money.

What the other person may need is a shoulder to cry on. We all understand the reasoning, but when something happens, they will still feel sad and grief-stricken.

Empathy is like this: I fell into a well, it's dark, and I'm scared and helpless. Just then, you climb down and stay with me, comforting me and saying, "I know what it's like to be scared and helpless, but you know you're not alone, right?"

And empathy is like this: I fell into a well, and you're at the edge of the well looking at me and saying, "Oh, you're so miserable, how hard this must be for you, you poor thing. Let me get you something to eat."

So, when we can put ourselves in someone else's shoes and see things from their perspective, that's empathy. If we start from our own perspective, that's compassion.

And now for the third and final step: how to improve your ability to empathize!

It can be really helpful to record your emotions about an issue in the form of a dialogue. For example, you might see that someone is physically stiff, emotionally tense, and feeling anxious. You could then ask yourself, "Am I feeling this correctly?"

Is that right? Just ask yourself questions and answer them until you feel good.

If you want to improve your empathy from a rational perspective, I've got a personal tip for you! When answering, start with emotions, then the facts, and finish with an open-ended question. For example, if your girlfriend says she doesn't feel well, you could say: "Honey, I can feel that you seem to be in pain. How are you not feeling well? Tell me what's going on?"

When we're communicating with others, our sincere attitude, good tolerance, unconditional acceptance, and so on can really help us to empathize with them. I'd highly recommend the book "The Power of Empathy," which goes into eight different behaviors that enhance empathy and also provides lots of real-life examples to illustrate the difference between empathy and sympathy.

I totally get it. Sometimes, you might feel like what you say to others doesn't have much impact. We all want to understand each other and help with problems, but it can feel like we're not making a difference. But here's the thing: if you can support someone emotionally, it can be a huge comfort.

I really hope this helps a little bit! Sending love to the whole world ??

Hello, question asker! I'm thrilled you're taking the time to reflect on your emotional state amidst your busy work.

Empathy is a vital part of any great interpersonal relationship. You've identified a few areas where you feel you could improve, which shows you're already aware of how important these skills are. I'm excited to share some feelings and suggestions based on your description, which you can use as a reference to take your skills to the next level.

First, let's dive in and accurately grasp the meaning of empathy!

American psychologist Carl Rogers made an excellent point: Empathy is understanding another person's experiences in the world as if you were that person. But at the same time, you also always remember that you are still different from him; you just understand that person, not become him.

Humans are social animals, and that's a wonderful thing! We need each other, and we need to recognize, see, and love each other.

It's so important to feel accepted, recognized, understood, respected, and appreciated by the other person. When you do, you'll feel a sense of existence! And when you give the other person the same acceptance, recognition, understanding, respect, and appreciation, they'll be able to maintain a better relationship with you.

Empathy is therefore an extremely important part of interpersonal skills. It can take you from guarding your own independence and autonomy to seeking common ground while reserving differences and accepting others. It can even take you from being an independent individual to moving towards a symbiotic relationship! And it can help you go further on the path of self-growth and self-improvement.

Second, let's dive into the reasons for poor empathy!

It is an incredible challenge to truly understand another person's feelings. We often have the amazing ability to project our own feelings onto other people.

The great news is that empathy is not innate. It can be cultivated in the environment! The important people and events in our growth environment will affect its formation. And while poor empathy may be caused by a variety of uncontrollable factors, we can take steps to improve it.

I believe there are a few key factors at play here. First and foremost, we have the satisfaction of needs during childhood.

The second is the upbringing in the original family, which is a great opportunity to learn and grow. The third is the social environment and role orientation, which can be a wonderful chance to explore and discover.

From the moment you're born until you're about four or five years old, everything you experience shapes your view of the world. It's the lens through which you see everything! Once you're older, you start living in your own world, seeing everything through that same lens. And it's so fascinating to see how our view of the world is shaped by two key issues: how we see ourselves and how we see others.

Once we decide on an attitude and perspective in childhood, it becomes the underlying structure of our existence, a choice that we consistently adhere to throughout our lives. And it's a choice we can be thrilled about!

If our family of origin and upbringing were not in a healthy, orderly, and safe environment, it would be a great opportunity to cultivate a social attitude of trusting oneself and others! With a sufficient sense of trust, one can understand and respond well to the emotions of others, establish good relationships with others, and achieve empathy.

And there's more! The social environment in which you live also has an impact. If you work in a profession that constantly faces or you often see negative situations around you, it is likely that you will accept the status quo and only do superficial work. But there is a way to change this!

Third, it's time to make some new changes!

You are ready to make changes! The first step is to understand yourself, see the root cause of the problem, and use effective methods to change your thinking and behavior patterns.

Understanding yourself is the key to finding a solution at the root of the problem! So, let's objectively analyze the influence of your family of origin and social environment.

Take a moment to think about your family environment when you were young. Could it be that it made you too self-centered? Or is it because you have difficulty trusting others? Or is it because the people around you are emotionally indifferent? Whatever the reason, understand deeply why it is difficult for you to empathize with others.

Now for the fun part! It's time to find a suitable solution based on the reasons you have sorted out. Some influences are deeply rooted and need to be changed from the bottom up. For example, learn to listen, try to hear the other person's pain points, simulate their situation, empathize, and then express your own point of view using effective language based on your analysis of the emotions. Or simply ask the other person how they feel and understand the reason for their discomfort.

Absolutely! This process will take some time, but it'll be worth it. After all, some thinking habits have been with us for decades, so we need to be patient and take it slowly.

Hi, I'm Cici Ai, an '80s-generation person who loves using psychology to heal myself. I'm really excited to share my tips and tricks with you!

Hello question asker! I'm happy to answer your question.

The questioner should be in a job related to medicine. Are you ashamed and guilty for not being able to empathize with your patients? First, give the questioner a little strength.

Then give the questioner a thumbs-up. It's great that the questioner can think about the patient's feelings at work.

I used to work in medicine, so I understand the original poster's situation. As a medical worker, we often have to face our patients' situations rationally. If you're in a bad mood, it will affect the patient.

This means that when we are dealing with patients, we often focus on their symptoms and lack empathy for their emotions. Since I am now working in the field of psychological counseling and improving my ability to empathize, I have some suggestions for the questioner.

When a friend shares their struggles, most people say things like, "Don't think like that," "I feel for you," or "Cheer up, everything will be fine." We want to help, so we try to find something to say to comfort them.

But trying to use logic to avoid feeling bad is a way of denying and not accepting other people's feelings. It must feel bad to be told a lot of reasons when you need emotional support the most.

Everyone can solve their own problems. When someone is vulnerable and helpless, they may not want practical help, but emotional support.

To improve your empathy, start by paying more attention to feelings.

If you don't know the words, learn them.

How can we empathize better?

I can't empathize. I've hurt people. I'm in pain. To empathize, you have to pay attention and learn how to communicate.

You have to keep practicing to get better. If you want to learn empathy, you can also learn to help others.

If you don't know the words, you can learn new words on Baidu.

How to practice empathy

To empathize, we must focus on others. It's not easy.

When you communicate with someone, you need to focus on them. After a few minutes, you might start focusing on yourself instead. You might think things like, "Is she interested in what I'm saying?" or "Did I say something wrong?"

"Did I hurt the other person by saying that?" What should we do?

If you can, stop what you're doing and look at the other person. Try to understand their feelings and ask questions. If the patient knows their illness can't be cured, you can show you understand their sadness.

It's upsetting that the illness hasn't improved despite the money spent. Repeat the patient's complaints to show you're listening.

Learning empathy on the internet.

If you see how something is done, you can learn it easily. A set of methods is useful. It will also make you more confident.

There are many ways to empathize with others online. If you want to learn, you can find out how others empathize. After learning, you can practice with people around you or your patients. This will help you become more empathetic.

Empathy is about understanding the other person, not solving their problems. You have to put empathy into practice to really use it.

I hope the questioner will learn to empathize.

I hope this helps.

It's not that you can't empathize, it's just that you may not know how to do it better yet!

Another possibility is that the dynamic workplace environment you're in requires you to adjust or reduce your emotional sensitivity in order to get the job done.

Let's explore the fascinating possibility of not knowing how to empathize!

I'll be frank: I can't really understand how she feels either.

Reading your article, I feel that you have not lost part of your humanity. In fact, your description shows us that the part you feel you have lost still shines with starlight! It's so inspiring to see that you hope it can illuminate the hearts of others.

In fact, when you want to respond to the patient's emotions, you have already felt her difficulties and hardships, but you are just having a hard time finding the right way to express them. When you said comforting words to the girl, you were already empathizing with her discomfort — and that's a great start!

You're doing great! Keep up the good work. Although you feel like you are speaking logically and skillfully, perhaps it is because your understanding or standards of empathy may be a bit too high.

Empathy is an amazing thing! It means that we can feel the emotional feelings of others, but it is difficult to truly empathize.

After all, we are not the other person, and that's a good thing! We don't have the other person's experiences and life experiences, and even if we have similar emotions, it is difficult to fully empathize with the other person's feelings.

But this doesn't affect our ability to empathize! A kind response and comfort are great examples of how we can show empathy.

It can actually be quite subjective, which makes it all the more interesting!

You may think you are just expressing empathy based on logic and experience, but if the other person can sense your goodwill, or if your words hit a certain spot in their heart, they will also be deeply moved and feel good!

Empathy is about so much more than just how you feel. It's also about how the other person feels. And that's something we can't control. But that doesn't matter!

In a different scenario, in psychological counseling, there is a similar opposite situation. For example, a counselor may empathize with a client's experiences and express empathy, but the client may counter that the counselor does not really understand their inner feelings.

Absolutely not!

This is just the subjective feelings of the client, which is totally normal!

This is why empathy is not a one-sided thing!

Let's dive back in and talk about defense mechanisms in the workplace!

An intense and prolonged competitive environment, and an excessive pursuit of work—it's a thrilling challenge!

If you're a duty-patient, then you're a doctor or you work in a hospital! You mentioned a fierce and long-lasting competitive environment and an excessive pursuit of work.

This is probably an unavoidable working situation that healthcare workers have to face—and they do it with flying colors!

Empathy is an invaluable quality in the medical profession. However, when you have to interact with numerous patients daily, even the most empathetic individuals may find their interactions becoming somewhat mechanical and automated.

So, adjusting your sensitivity to emotions and reducing your emotional response is a great way to ensure you can focus more on your professional work!

You have smiled before, haven't you? But if you are told to smile all day long, you will find that in the end, no matter how you look at it, the smile looks strange.

When we keep smiling, we will stop smiling!

The great news is that we can avoid this happening by remembering this simple principle. When we use empathy continuously over a long period of time, it can lead to fatigue. Just as people like to see smiling faces, but if you keep smiling at other people, it will not only cause aesthetic fatigue in the other person, but also lead to a stiff face and a twitching mouth if you keep smiling yourself.

Medical workers have the amazing opportunity to focus on using their professional abilities to help patients solve problems. While empathy is a wonderful quality, it's important to find the right balance.

For example, if a patient is in pain and needs surgery, and the family is worried and wants to cry, can we expect the surgeon to empathize and cry too? It would be a tragedy if they didn't!

So this may be considered a defense mechanism brought about by job attributes. It is a kind of self-protection of professionalism—and it's a great one!

Although I had some achievements in college, I was the only single person in the dormitory. This was probably because I had room to grow in my empathy skills. I could not understand how someone really felt, and I did not know how to talk to them. But I was excited to learn!

Absolutely! You can understand the emotions of others and express empathy.

I truly believe that your real problem may not be how to empathize with others, but rather the uncertainty about whether your emotional feelings are correct.

He was successful in college and is single, so why is this cause attributed to poor empathy skills? It could be explained as spending time pursuing achievements, so there is no time for romance, and that is why he is single. Is that not also reasonable?

Not knowing how to speak can also be explained by the fact that their minds are focused on studying hard to achieve good results, so they don't have much time to think about how to speak to the other person's heart. But there's no need to worry! Speaking skills are also a kind of ability. If you haven't spent time thinking about and practicing them, it's easy to remedy the situation. All you need to do is spend some time thinking about and practicing your speaking skills. Then you'll be able to gauge the right tone and speak to the other person's heart. It's possible that the other person is also fine with the situation.

But the last sentence you said was: "I can't experience someone's true feelings, and I don't know how to talk to them."

When you read these two sentences together, you'll probably find that they're the very thing that's really bothering you!

As mentioned earlier, it is difficult for us to truly feel the feelings of others. But don't worry! If you haven't taken the time to practice your communication skills, you can easily learn how to talk.

So, here's the big question: can you feel your emotions and are you sure of your emotions?

When we are doing psychological counseling, we will encounter this type of client. Even though they are clearly describing something painful and sad, when the client tells it, it feels like they are talking about someone else's business. This is an excellent opportunity for us to help them!

In this case, it may reflect a need for more connection and a way to protect ourselves from our emotional feelings.

This is an amazing opportunity for us to look back on our own experiences of growing up and see if we were often denied, ignored, criticized, mocked, or not allowed to express our emotions when something happened that made us feel a certain way.

And people don't like to be denied, ignored, criticized, or mocked, so they isolate their emotions as a way of protecting themselves. If you can't feel your emotions, you'll be safe, you won't need to express them, and you won't encounter these situations.

Growing up in such an environment, people become emotionally numb. But there's hope! When they experience something, they can choose to feel a certain way or express their emotions.

But here's the good news! Once you feel those emotions or want to express them, you can choose to let go of those bad experiences and feelings.

If that is the case, then you should definitely look into getting some systematic psychological counseling! It can really help you regain the ability to feel your emotions and learn how to express them better.

I really hope that's not the case!

I'm sure the people who read your words also hope to see the you who has light in your heart and is willing to illuminate others!

I'm Bo, sir!

Sending hugs to the questioner. I've been in the questioner's shoes, too.

It's a shame you can't always see things from someone else's perspective. I once saw someone sweating while sweeping the floor in the hot sun and it made me teary-eyed.

You won't feel any pain when your friend cries her heart out over a broken relationship. This era is developing too fast, and there's no time to be moved.

The questioner is overloaded with work in a competitive environment that is intense and long-lasting. The pressure must be great, and they're overwhelmed.

It's tough to stay calm and focused while trying to be super efficient. It's also challenging to fully engage with other people's stories.

You're always focused on the outcome, not the process.

It's tough to know how to help someone you're getting to know when they're going through a rough patch. You can only do your best to offer a few words of encouragement, but you're not always sure if what you say is going to be the right thing to hear.

The questioner has started to doubt himself, and at the same time, he should also be feeling a sense of loss. I wonder if the girl has given you any feedback.

I think you can find a good friend, someone you can stick with for a while, to talk about this with.

You've done well in college, but you're the only single person in your group. I'm not sure if the questioner is too focused on themselves. Or maybe you haven't had much exposure to society.

I'd recommend that the questioner get out more, head to the countryside, and soak up the many different aspects of life with an open mind.

I hope these thoughts are helpful to you.

Good day, I can see that you are experiencing some confusion at the moment. Please accept my best wishes for a speedy resolution.

You are currently experiencing interpersonal issues. I extend my support and encouragement to you.

The foundation for our initial empathy is established through interactions with family members.

Please describe your recollection of communicating your true feelings to your family members, such as your parents, during your childhood.

Should you ignore them and proceed with your usual activities?

My father exhibited this behavior when I was a child, approximately five years of age.

As a result, I gradually ceased empathizing and ceased expressing my feelings to him.

If you wish to learn to empathize, you may wish to consider seeking the assistance of a professional counselor.

Your current issue may necessitate a systemic approach and may fall within the purview of the original family. Consequently, I am inclined to seek the guidance of a professional counselor rather than an instant listener.

In a relationship, there may be a desire to empathize with the other person, but a lack of understanding of how to express it, which in turn affects one's ability to provide comfort.

In general, we are able to empathize with others because we can relate to their experiences.

If the family you grew up in was unable to empathize, how could you learn to do so?

It would be advisable to seek external assistance from a qualified psychological counselor at this time.

If you are unsure of the number of psychological consultations you require for your current issue, you may wish to seek assistance from the instant listener on this platform.

If necessary, the immediate listener will also refer you to a professional counselor.

I hope that the issue you are currently experiencing can be resolved as soon as possible.

At this time, I can only offer these suggestions.

I hope my above response is both helpful and inspiring to you. As the respondent, I am committed to learning and growth on a daily basis.

At Yixinli, we extend our best wishes to you and the world.

Haiyun Qingxin's analysis:

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1. You say that you have a serious lack of empathy. You can recognize your own shortcomings in order to better treat others and understand their feelings. This is a commendable courage. You say that you hope to become a person with self-willed dignity, which shows that you value and cherish human nature.

2. You must understand the problem before you can solve it. Never give a solution directly. Just as Zhang San does not prescribe medicine without first finding out what is wrong with the patient, you must first identify the cause of the problem before you can offer a solution.

3. Excessive self-discipline is one of the reasons for your lack of empathy. Self-discipline sometimes conflicts with human nature. If you use self-discipline excessively to suppress your ego, you will limit and fixate on your ego, just like a machine. You have become a competitive, working, and successful machine, and you say that you have currently lost part of your humanity.

4. People become machines when they get used to doing this: getting used to norms, getting used to picking and choosing, getting used to processes, getting used to machinery, getting used to following a set procedure.

It's clear that people are becoming more and more like machines, while machines are becoming more and more like people. Machines have artificial intelligence, and many workers work like machines every day, repeating the same thing mechanically.

Human nature is like water, and the self is like a vessel. Human nature is flexible and diverse, lively and fresh. The self is like a vessel that holds water. If the self is square, the water is square; if the self is round, the water is round. If the self is cold and mechanical, the water also freezes, without temperature, unable to empathize, unable to bring warmth to others.

Sea̶͜♥⁎: You will find the warmth of your true self soon.

This is it. The moment you've been waiting for. {@}

I am here to tell you that you will find the warmth of your true self soon.

I am here to tell you that you will find the warmth of your true self soon.

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I am here to tell you that you will find the warmth of your true self soon.

This is the way it is. There's no changing it.

This is the way it is.

I am here to tell you that you will find the warmth of your true self soon.

This is the way it is.

This is the end of this line.

Hello. Thank you for meeting me here.

I am confident that my answer will be helpful.

You are a medical worker, you are very self-disciplined, and you are motivated in your studies and life. You want to improve your empathy, and you will. You are a particularly responsible medical worker, and you are admired.

——Give you a warm hug——

I have some suggestions that I know will be helpful.

First of all, the doctor-patient relationship is complicated. You want to empathize with the patient, but a doctor's words can cause the patient to misunderstand. Doctors choose their words carefully. You did well by taking the initiative to comfort the patient.

Second: Don't be too hard on yourself. As a medical worker, you need to focus on developing superb medical skills.

You must empathize with patients if you want to comfort them. This requires a certain skill so that patients feel sincere and not perfunctory.

It must be learned and improved.

Third: The most effective form of empathy is to specialize in technology and effectively solve the patient's pain. This is a more convincing approach than any words.

Fourth: Being single while studying does not mean you lack empathy. It just means you've put more energy into your studies. When the time is right, a girlfriend who is right for you will appear. When that happens, cherish her and respect her, and you will create a happy family.

I wish you happiness! The world and I love you!

Dear questioner, I empathize with you when I read your words, and I'm also relieved to be able to help and support you.

The work in the hospital is both challenging and requires a lot of responsibility. Many patients will treat medical staff in various ways. When patients express gratitude for your hard work and responsible attitude, that is the greatest form of empathy.

The other person can feel it. You want to be better, and you also want to be able to handle all kinds of relationships with ease, respond to the other person with words, and be able to perceive this. This is also the beginning of your change.

A loving heart has the power to go beyond words.

In the midst of busy work, many people lose sight of who they are. They may think that they've given so much but haven't received anything in return, and they end up living in their own world.

If you don't love yourself, you'll only cause yourself pain and make it hard for you to connect with others. People who are grateful are happier and more open to growth.

You have love and kindness in your heart, but you can't express your suffering in words. This is because you were neglected by your original family, and your parents didn't see you, so you can't empathize with others. This kind of internal repression will restrict your ability to communicate with others and hinder your empathy.

When you understand yourself and care for yourself, you can empathize.

It's not that you can't empathize, it's that you've been neglected.

When you appreciate the amazing thing that is your life, and you've been working hard and running for so many years, and you're really good at it, first understand yourself, accept yourself, and appreciate yourself. Then you'll be able to understand the other person, enter the world of another person, feel the same way, know how hard it is for the other person, and understand the other person.

Often, when we're out and about, we're always thinking about what other people think and trying to live up to how other people see us. We lose sight of ourselves in the process and neglect our own needs. We feel unworthy and unable to face our true selves.

Nobody's perfect, and trying to be is a surefire way to mess things up.

? Be the source of love and love yourself.

If you love yourself, you can give that love to others. You can even share it with them with a simple glance or smile. That way, you can connect with other people on a deeper level.

Without words, the other person gets to see the real you. You are the source of love.

Love is energy, and gratitude is the conduit.

You can try some exercises: love is energy, and gratitude is the channel. Be grateful for this great life, and constantly strive to be the best you can be. No matter how difficult things get, you can always overcome them.

Be grateful to your parents for giving you life, and to your colleagues and friends for helping you see yourself.

When you're grateful, it'll help you see the beauty in others and feel their difficulties.

Then you'll be able to empathize with others, and you'll live a joyful life.

I hope this has given you some food for thought and that you will continue to improve.

Good day, host.

The host's assertion that "self-discipline is not about becoming a machine that pursues success, but about becoming a person with human dignity" is particularly noteworthy. It is evident that the individual who can articulate such profound and philosophical concepts is not devoid of humanity. On the contrary, it can be assumed that the host possesses a kind and humanistic nature. However, when confronted with the realities of life, we are compelled to make decisions that may not align with our inherent values.

The hospital is a frightening place. I once had an experience of being hospitalized in Beijing. I observed a mother and daughter crying loudly at night because there was no way to cure their illness. Since they had already come to Beijing and Beijing could not cure it, they were facing death or a more miserable fate in this life. It was late at night in the silent hallway, and it was this mother and daughter who were crying loudly. None of the patients and doctors who were staying in the ward went out. I believe that we all reflected ourselves in this mother and daughter who were crying loudly.

In light of this, it seems pertinent to discuss the topic of death. It is a fact of life that we all face the prospect of death, and it is inevitable that we will all die. Those who are facing death in the immediate future often display a stoic acceptance, but it is when they are sentenced to death that they experience the most intense emotional distress. This is characterised by a profound sense of love and longing for their loved ones and a desperate desire to live. It is likely that doctors will encounter this more frequently than the general public.

As medical professionals, we are not omnipotent beings, capable of solving every problem that arises. We cannot be expected to provide all the comfort and support that our patients require. However, in the case of Shujie, our actions have been beneficial. Even if our patients do not express their gratitude verbally, our mere presence and willingness to listen can be a source of immense comfort. It is important to recognize the value of our contributions and to maintain a positive outlook on the future. By fostering hope and working towards improvements in our society and healthcare system, we can collectively make a difference.

I extend my love and affection to the world and to you.

Greetings, host.

In light of the aforementioned inquiries, it is evident that you are driven by a desire to enhance your personal and professional growth.

The issue of poor empathy

Empathy can be defined as the capacity to adopt the perspective of another individual. Some individuals possess this capacity naturally, while others may require more effort to develop it.

It is not necessary to fully comprehend the feelings of others at all times, as empathy can be viewed as a form of consumption.

The two cases you presented do not indicate that your capacity for empathy is deficient.

[The patient talks to you]

You demonstrated attentive listening and provided a constructive response. This was of significant value to him, and what he required was simply to be heard.

Given the necessity of empathizing with a vast array of patients on a daily basis, it is implausible that one could fulfill this requirement and simultaneously perform the duties of their occupation.

The individual you are contacting is a female.

I am aware that your intention is to further develop the relationship.

She indicated that she was experiencing a heightened level of discomfort, yet you were unable to perceive the same level of heat.

This is not indicative of a lack of empathy; rather, it is a natural difference in temperature perception between the two individuals.

It would be prudent to consider the following: What recourse does a man have when surrounded by numerous female companions?

One might consider the possibility of opening a window or turning on the air conditioner.

One might suggest the purchase of ice cream.

[Deep interaction]

The university is of an excellent standard, but you are the only single person, which is related to your different focus.

The issue that you are currently facing may be that you need to attempt to engage in deep interactions with people.

It is only through deep interpersonal interactions that one can stimulate and engage with a range of emotional and cognitive processes.

In interpersonal interactions, it is essential to consider the emotional states and necessities of the other individual, as well as one's own emotional responses and requirements.

My name is Amy, and I extend my best wishes to you.

Hello, I'm Gu Yi.

Your description shows how low empathy has caused you distress.

Reflections on empathy.

Empathy is the ability to understand another person's emotions.

Empathy means understanding other people's narcissism.

People with high empathy have experienced a lot and understand others.

Empathy depends on talent and interests.

How to accept yourself if you have low empathy.

First, accept yourself. No matter what your empathy level is, don't blame or deny yourself. Then, improve yourself.

Second, we must be empathetic to patients who cannot afford treatment. This is normal. Even highly empathetic people can become numb, so it is fine to accept your own state.

In the stage of falling in love, we should enhance our empathy to win the girl's favor and be more successful.

Best wishes!

Could it be that there is some truth to the idea that "if you can't put yourself in someone else's shoes, you can't feel what they feel"?

What are your thoughts on this statement? I don't believe it's entirely incorrect, but I do have some reservations about it.

I may not be in a position to offer a more professional perspective, but I have experienced similar feelings, so I would like to share my personal insights on this matter.

I believe I may have glimpsed this feeling in myself at some point, which has given me some insight and understanding.

Currently, I am aware of my feelings and have begun to develop some empathy. In the past, I felt as though I lacked emotions, as if I were a machine processing things in a programmed way.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider whether this state of mind might be perceived as cold-blooded or inhumane. It would be interesting to speculate whether it might persist for an extended period and potentially impact my personal and professional life.

It might be the case that people who have only experienced happiness throughout their lives may not be suited to psychological work, as they may lack empathy.

If you're interested in learning more about this perspective, you can look it up yourself.

Human emotions encompass a range of experiences, including joy, sorrow, and fear. Consequently, individuals who have only experienced happiness may have a limited understanding of other emotional feelings.

Could I respectfully propose that we consider why some people may lack empathy?

It is also worth noting that genetic and physiological factors, such as a healthy brain and nervous system, a healthy endocrine system, and so on, can potentially influence empathy to a certain extent.

Factors of the growth environment – Research suggests that individuals who grew up with electronic products as companions may potentially experience challenges in developing empathy. It is possible that they did not receive the same level of emotional responsiveness as others, which may have led to a lack of emotional fulfillment, limited emotional expression, and a reduced capacity to be emotionally touched.

In more severe cases, there is a risk of developing a range of other psychological issues.

One's ability to empathize with others is often shaped by one's life experiences. If one has had few emotional experiences in their past, it can make it more challenging to understand the feelings of others.

It is not uncommon for people to experience difficulties in considering feelings when faced with a certain amount of pressure. In today's fast-paced and demanding environment, it is understandable that individuals may resort to automated coping mechanisms to navigate challenges.

Some people may have psychological patterns that manifest as narcissistic or defensive tendencies, which can result in the suppression of emotions. Empathizing with others may also involve experiencing a certain degree of emotional resonance.

Whether it is not feeling, or suppressing the self-feelings triggered by the other person at the moment, it is all a psychological problem that belongs to oneself and needs to be perceived and dealt with. How might one become more empathetic and warm?

Everyone's empathy is different, and it can be simply understood as the difference in a person's emotional intelligence. There is also no upper limit. It would be beneficial to strive for a certain degree of improvement, without exploiting the dark side, in order to enhance one's life and work.

You may find it helpful to refer to "The Power of Empathy" for more information. It may be useful to consider that empathy has two sides.

It is important to remember that everyone has different reasons for being empathetic. Take some time to reflect on your own experiences and try to gain as much insight as you can.

Sunshine, exercise, and hobbies are all beneficial.

It would be advisable to ensure physical and mental health.

It may be helpful to read books, attend lectures, or seek advice to gain a deeper understanding of the causes of your own actions and the mental models that shape your behavior. Reflecting on your upbringing and life experiences can also be beneficial in identifying emotions you may have not fully experienced or satisfied.

It is important to find a balance between the pressures of life and work. It is understandable that we all have different abilities, and while striving for improvement is admirable, being overly demanding can lead to difficulties. The "shoulds" and "musts" that we face may be influenced by external factors or personal expectations. It is valuable to approach these challenges with a realistic perspective and do our best within our capabilities.

It can be helpful to consider ways of balancing the pressures of life and work.

It may be helpful to seek professional advice as appropriate to gain a better understanding of your own mental model and to construct a new one.

Any change occurs gradually over time through accumulated actions. You may wish to consider practising empathy, avoiding demanding sudden changes, and allowing yourself to slowly acquire it. This could facilitate the change you desire.

Cognition is a valuable tool that can help us navigate many situations with greater ease. It also plays a crucial role in fostering positive interpersonal relationships. Empathy for others is another important aspect of interpersonal dynamics, as it can contribute to more harmonious work relationships and beyond.

It is my hope that each of us will gradually improve and develop the ability to empathize, and to face life and work with warmth.

Hello!

Host:

After reading the post, I could feel the poster's anxiety in the content. At the same time, I also noticed that the poster bravely expressed his distress and actively sought help on the platform, which will undoubtedly help him to better understand himself and adjust to meet a better self.

I'd also like to share some thoughts and observations that I hope will be helpful for the original poster.

1. You know, only by feeling yourself can you better feel others.

From the post, I can see that the poster mentioned that he has a serious lack of empathy and cannot appreciate other people's feelings. I can relate to that! It can be so hard to understand other people's feelings sometimes. It's natural to feel anxious and powerless when you can't do that.

I totally get where you're coming from. From what I've seen, it's great that you're asking questions on the platform. It's a big step forward!

You're doing great! You're getting better and better every day.

I'd also love to chat with you about how we can better understand other people's feelings. I think it all starts with understanding our own feelings.

It's so important to understand yourself before you can understand others. And it's only by feeling yourself that you can truly feel others.

I think the first thing the poster should do is get to know themselves, understand their emotions and feelings, and connect with them. After all, we can't give others what we don't have!

2. Pay attention to how your body feels!

Have you ever wondered how you can connect with your emotional feelings? Well, one way is to become aware of your body's feelings.

It's totally normal for our bodies to respond to our emotions. For instance, when you're feeling anxious, your heart might beat a little faster or feel a bit uncomfortable. You might even blush when you're feeling nervous!

Of course, everyone's physical manifestations may be different, so this is part of the process that requires the owner to become aware. Don't worry if you don't understand everything yet! We're all learning together.

So, how do you become aware of your body's sensations and connect them to your body? It's really simple! Just focus some of your attention on your body and observe yourself as an onlooker.

When you feel discomfort in any part of your body, just focus on that area and see what is happening there. If the area can express itself, what does it want to express? Then give a name to this uncomfortable feeling and see what kind of emotion it is.

This is a great way to help your emotions disappear! The more you practice, the more in tune you'll become with your body and the easier it will be to understand yourself.

3. Treat yourself to some lovely body relaxation exercises!

The more sensitive our body is, the more we can capture our emotional changes. So how can we become more sensitive? Let's find out together!

In addition to self-awareness, we can also do daily relaxation exercises, focusing on different parts of the body and relaxing each part in turn. We all have different ways of relaxing, and that's totally okay! Some people love yoga, some enjoy meditation, and some just like to lie down and relax.

The host can try to find out what method suits them best.

4. Writing exercises

Writing is also a great way to help us understand and recognize our emotions. We can record our feelings on a daily basis to see what kind of situations, expressions, and scenarios cause our emotions to change, even if we think they are embarrassing.

It's so important to remember that recording our feelings also requires expressing them. This can really help us to understand our emotional responses better. The most important thing is to just write, without worrying about whether it's good or bad writing, or whether it makes sense.

It's really helpful to write down your feelings and then observe what kind of situations you are prone to having certain emotions in. This can help you to understand yourself better.

At last, I'd like to suggest that you read Wu Zhihong's wonderful book, The Body Knows the Answer. My name is Zeng Chen, and I'm a psychological exploration coach. I really hope these ideas will be helpful and inspiring for you!

My name is Mu Rong.

I appreciate your comprehensive account. You indicate that you have difficulty empathizing with the emotions of others and attribute this to a sense of blame and regret. It is my understanding that you aspire to enhance your capacity for empathy and become a more proficient individual. Is this an accurate representation of your intentions?

From your description, it appears that you are employed in the medical industry. When confronted with patients who are unable to afford treatment, you seem to experience feelings of helplessness and anxiety, as well as some emotions that are challenging to articulate. Is there a rationale behind your decision to respond in a rational manner? If feasible, could you recollect the nature of those unexpressed sentiments?

Identify the area of the body that is experiencing a sense of immobility. Return to that sensation and envisage how you would respond if you were to hear the same question posed to the patient once more.

Secondly, you perceive a correlation between your deficiency in empathy and the competitive atmosphere and work context. I commend your discernment in identifying this link. It is evident that your pursuit of excellence is primarily driven by the desire to distinguish yourself from the competition.

Furthermore, the current work environment of the doctor-patient relationship has facilitated your realization of the significance of empathy, thereby motivating you to enhance your empathy skills.

The concept of empathy, also known as compassion, was first articulated by the founder of humanism, Carl Rogers. It refers to the ability to adopt the perspective of another individual and to experience their situation, thereby enabling the understanding of their emotions. Marshall B. Rosenberg further developed empathy and communication that empathizes with others' feelings through the concept of "Nonviolent Communication." The key to empathy is emotional communication, which is the process of perceiving and expressing one's own feelings and needs as well as those of others in communication.

From your statements, it is evident that you are cognizant of your own emotions and those of others, yet you have been unable to articulate them, leading to feelings of inadequacy. You may find solace in reading the book "Nonviolent Communication." Its expressions and listening techniques may assist you in processing your emotions.

In addition, you articulated your concern about the dearth of humanity. It is precisely through such introspection that I perceive your humanity. You aspire to become more empathetic and compassionate, so I encourage you to remain mindful and to further educate yourself about the techniques you are learning. With this knowledge, you may be able to effect positive change in your interactions with others.

It is my hope that the aforementioned information is of some assistance.