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By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024
Hello, question asker! Thank you so much for inviting me to answer! I could feel the depression, grievance, and sadness through the screen just reading what you wrote.
You are also curious about how you deal with interpersonal resistance. You have encountered such a major organizational restructuring, but when there is resistance at work, you choose to silently bear it, carry it alone, and even when you can't take it anymore, you still ask yourself to endure it. How was this way of dealing with interpersonal resistance formed?
I'm excited to hear more about your thoughts on "making mistakes"! I can't wait to hear your answers to these questions, but because this is a "question and answer" format, I won't be able to hear your explanations immediately.
I'm excited to keep talking about the topic of "making mistakes." I think I can help you take a fresh look at your long-held beliefs about "making mistakes" and find a new way to break the pattern you haven't noticed before!
✅ Are you ready to flip the script on how you see "making mistakes"?
Our attitude towards "making mistakes" is learned from the way our parents treat us. It's so interesting how our perception of "making mistakes" is shaped by our parents' first reaction!
Some parents are quick to jump in and ask if the child is hurt. They reassure the child and help them feel safe. Once the child has calmed down, they clean up the "scene" together. They explain that it must be cleaned up properly to avoid hurting themselves or others. They also talk about what to do next time to be safer. The core idea is that making a mistake has nothing to do with what kind of child they are.
Another type of parent reacts very differently, and it's fascinating to see how their approach shapes the child's perception of mistakes. They shout at the child who is scared or crying, constantly criticize, and say that "you" are someone who is not attentive, obedient, or thoughtful. The core idea is that making a mistake = being stupid.
It's so important to remember that different ways of dealing with and attitudes towards children's "mistakes" can make a child gradually afraid of making mistakes. If they make a mistake, they will keep blaming themselves and even deny themselves. But the truth is that "making mistakes" is a necessary part of growing up in the psychological sense, and there is no direct correlation between making mistakes and "who you are." From this perspective, how would you understand your own way of perceiving "making mistakes"?
Are you ready to find out if people who make mistakes have no right to speak?
If your best friend told you this view, you would probably correct her right away. You would say that even if there is a blemish, it does not mean that someone cannot express their opinions. But when this happens to you, sometimes we subconsciously feel that we are "in the wrong" and dare not argue for ourselves. Why is this so? Let's explore this together!
Let's dive into an example! Imagine a person who has made a mistake. In our minds, we might instantly label them as "stupid." But here's the catch: once this image is established in a child's mind, it's tough for us adults to argue for ourselves. Let's say the other person points out "past mistakes." We might unconsciously believe that we are a stupid person, that we have a stain, and that we are not worthy of arguing for ourselves. But here's the good news: deep down, we are torn by this conflict. And this conflict also belongs to the conflict between self-affirmation and self-esteem.
How do you feel now that you've read this? Even with a blemish (such as a criminal record, assault, being violated, etc.), every person has the right to defend their dignity and argue, and no one is qualified to deprive them of this right!
Absolutely! You have this sense of conviction within you. And you can rebuild/awaken this sense of conviction in yourself!
Take a step back from the events you described and connect with your true voice. I believe you will find a renewed sense of control and certainty. ? If you have time, you can find many articles and books on self-esteem on Yi Xinli. Learn and understand yourself while reading the book "Life Script" (with audio interpretation on Yi Xinli). Find the strength and courage to reinvent yourself! ?
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Comments
I totally understand how frustrating and overwhelming this situation must be for you. It's like everything you were familiar with has been turned upside down, and now you're scrambling to catch up while feeling the weight of unmet expectations.
It sounds like a really tough time at work. When everything changes so suddenly, it can be hard to adapt, especially when you've been doing things a certain way for years. The stress from not knowing how to proceed must be adding to your anxiety.
The boss's dissatisfaction is palpable, and it's disheartening when your efforts don't seem to meet the mark. You've always given your all, and now it feels like your past dedication is being overshadowed by these recent challenges. It's understandable that you feel lost and demotivated.
It's disconcerting when a minor error leads to such significant criticism, especially in front of everyone. It seems unfair that an honest mistake without real consequences would cause such a reaction. I hope you can find a way to communicate your concerns with the boss and clarify the misunderstandings.
Feeling as though you've let everyone down after being criticized for something that didn't even result in a loss must be incredibly hard. It's important to remember that mistakes happen, and it doesn't define your value or all the good work you've done over the years.