Lived together for seven years, got married for two months, husband secretly contacts his ex-girlfriend, should I continue?

Hello! I'm sending you a warm hug from afar.

I'm glad you've reached out for help. I'm here to support you. From your description, it's clear your husband is still in contact with his ex-girlfriend. This makes you feel misunderstood, disrespected, neglected, ignored, and betrayed. You feel aggrieved, angry, helpless, and powerless.

You've been living with your husband for seven years. What kind of person is he? How is his relationship with his ex?

You must understand that his ambiguous relationship with his ex started before you got married.

So, when you found out that he was in contact with his ex, what were your true feelings? What kind of attitude did you adopt in response to the feelings of being left out, ignored, not understood, disrespected, and betrayed?

Your husband's behavior in the early years of your relationship was out of your control. However, you can be sure that responding to his hurtful behavior in a certain way is important. This sets boundaries for your protection in the relationship and makes the other person aware that his behavior deeply hurts you and that you cannot be treated casually.

Don't dwell on how your husband treats you. Be aware of the moment you feel hurt. Treat yourself the way you want to be treated. Accept yourself, respect yourself, understand yourself, appreciate yourself, and know that you are good enough and deserve to be treated well by yourself and others.

If you are too self-loathing, don't accept yourself, or even feel that you are not worthy of love, you cannot expect him to cherish you and treat you well.

You must treat yourself in the way you want to be treated in a relationship. The way you treat yourself will guide and hint at the way others treat you.

Your husband still maintains contact with his ex-girlfriend after marriage because you allowed it. When you first learned that he had a relationship with his ex-girlfriend, you did not promptly and courageously express your true feelings and needs. This made him feel that you can be treated casually.

You must be aware that when you feel hurt, you cannot bravely and honestly express your true inner feelings and needs. This reflects your inner lack of confidence, your lack of acceptance of yourself, your low self-worth, and your sense of unworthiness. You need to improve this through your own learning and growth.

Intimacy is a relationship between two people, but it is also a relationship between us and our inner selves. Live in harmony with yourself to reap the benefits of a harmonious and nourishing intimate relationship.

I am Lily, the little ear of the Q&A Museum. The world and I love you.