Long-distance relationship, he used to not pay attention to the sense of boundaries between the sexes, and it has always been a concern for me. What should I do?

It's totally normal for girls to feel a bit hurt when they see their boyfriend socializing with other girls. It's natural to feel a bit jealous and insecure when we feel like our partner is being a bit too casual. It's not going to make us feel good, and it's important to remember that love is a two-way street.

Love is a wonderful thing, but it can also be a little selfish sometimes. It's only natural that we all want to share our intimate moments with the people we love the most.

I totally get where you're coming from.

I totally get why you're upset. In response to your protests, he's already made a lot of improvements and even reduced his socializing a lot.

Nobody's perfect, and we all make mistakes. If they've made a mistake and have already corrected it, they're still a good person. It might not even be a mistake, but just a result of their personality that has led them to cross some boundaries in their interactions with the opposite sex.

And you haven't noticed that in the past and present, he has crossed the emotional red line with other people. It's totally understandable to still hold a grudge over his past actions and have trouble letting go. We all have things we're not proud of in our past, and it can be hard to move on. But if you can, you'll have a better relationship with yourself and with him.

Even though you say you're emotionally clean, I think it might still affect your relationship a little bit.

I really do think there are other reasons for the ups and downs in your relationship.

For example, being in different places can really put a strain on a relationship. In today's fast-paced life, love also requires timeliness. When you are lonely and need company, it can be tough for your partner to be there.

This can really wear you down and make you feel like you're constantly waiting on him to change. It's totally normal to feel this way, but try to remember that he's only human too! It's easy to get impatient and picky when we're feeling down, but try to remember that your feelings are valid and that he's doing his best.

I just wanted to mention that it might be that you're not completely happy with his personality traits.

It's so important to remember that when you keep bringing up the past and he's at his wits' end, apologizing over and over, it's not the best way to respond. It's not the attitude you want to have, and it's not fair to him.

It's clear you're feeling pretty distressed, but you're struggling to break up. It's totally understandable! You're really unhappy, and he's shown this in your arguments or in your day-to-day interactions.

Maybe he'll get stronger and stronger each time, or respond in a different way. Perhaps this matter has long been forgotten and your relationship is as sweet as ever.

I really think that you should try to end the problem of living apart as soon as you can. That'll be the best way to start repairing your relationship!

Secondly, the more you interact with each other, the more you'll probably have a few disagreements. But that's totally normal! It's a great way to learn more about each other and figure out what you want from the relationship.

I can feel the confusion, pain-arguments-with-friends-differing-opinions-always-stuck-on-that-hurdle-1800.html" target="_blank">anxiety, pain, and suffering in the questioner's heart. The matter itself is not that big, and the boyfriend has also explained and corrected it, but the questioner just can't feel better. There is just this "thorn" stuck there. So, the questioner needs to think about it: Is this thorn in your heart the one that your boyfriend stuck and then removed, or was it someone else who stuck it?

The issue for the questioner is not the event itself. Her boyfriend's intimate actions with his female colleague were simply a trigger for her deep-seated "extreme unease." Despite her boyfriend's explanations and corrections, and even their subsequent breakup, the problem persists. It's likely that these feelings of "extreme unease" were already present before the incident, but so deeply suppressed that the questioner was unaware of them.

This pattern of interaction between the questioner and her boyfriend also reflects the questioner's extreme lack of security and confidence in her perception of intimate relationships between men and women. It is essential to consider the questioner's original family environment, particularly whether her parents' relationship caused psychological harm to her at the time and whether it is similar to her current relationship dynamic. If this is the case, the questioner is unconsciously using the pattern of interaction she learned from her parents to get along with her boyfriend, while simultaneously projecting her initial emotional feelings into her current relationship. This has shaped the way the questioner gets along with her boyfriend.

If this is not the case, the cause must be sought elsewhere. The most appropriate way to do this is to find a suitable counselor.

It's totally normal to face some unique challenges in long-distance relationships, like trust, communication, feelings of loneliness, and uncertainty about the future. And it's possible that different understandings and approaches to boundaries between the sexes might make these challenges a little more intense.

It's totally understandable that you're feeling uncomfortable and uneasy about your boyfriend's previous behavior. Even though he hasn't cheated or done anything really wrong, his actions have made you feel that way. It's clear that you both need to work together to resolve this issue.

First, it would be really helpful for you and your boyfriend to have an honest conversation about your feelings and concerns. It's so important to let him understand how sensitive you are to his behavior and how much it affects you.

At the same time, it's important to try to understand his position and explanations. It's possible that he's not aware that his behavior causes you so much distress.

Another great way to make sure you're on the same page is to work together to set some rules or boundaries. This will help you both understand what behaviors are acceptable and unacceptable in a relationship with the opposite sex, which will make your lives a lot easier!

For example, he can promise to maintain a certain distance and respect when spending time with the opposite sex, and avoid overly intimate behavior such as holding hands and heart signs. At the same time, you can also express your expectations that he pay more attention to your feelings and needs, which is totally understandable!

And there's more! To build trust and understanding, you can also make your communication more frequent and in-depth. Share your lives, work, and moods regularly to help your partner get to know you better.

In the meantime, you can also try some common interests or activities to increase the opportunities for mutual topics and interactions.

If you're feeling hurt or uncomfortable in your relationship, it's time to take a good, honest look at whether it's still worth it. Healthy relationships require effort from both partners, and if you're not getting what you need, it might be time to move on.

Of course, this is a very personal decision that only you can make. It's important to think about what you want and feel in your heart.

In short, long-distance relationships require joint efforts and commitment from both sides to maintain. When facing problems, it's so important to communicate honestly, understand each other, and build trust.

I really hope you and your boyfriend can find a solution that works for both of you and make your relationship even better!

Greetings.

The duration of your long-distance relationship with your boyfriend has been three years. This length of time is notable, indicating that the two of you have had ample opportunity to communicate and that your relationship is characterized by harmony and stability. Otherwise, it would be implausible to suggest that it could have endured for such a length of time.

Over the past three years, a strong bond has developed between you and your partner. While you may appreciate many of his qualities, this particular issue represents a significant challenge for you. You find yourself caught between your reluctance to let go of him and your inability to let go of this one thing.

Upon entering the second year of the relationship, it became evident that he exhibited a lack of clarity regarding boundaries with the opposite sex. For instance, he engaged in frequent conversations with female colleagues on WeChat, though the content of these conversations did not align with conventional romantic expectations.

For example, a video was once posted by her female colleague on TikTok. In the video, her boyfriend was seen in a physical embrace with a female companion, and they even took a photograph together with their hands forming a heart shape.

In summary, the subject displays a proclivity for physical contact with the aforementioned individual and other females.

Such behavior is intolerable within the context of a romantic relationship. The nature of love is exclusive and exclusive.

In your view, physical intimacy should be reserved for your romantic partner and other intimate relationships. You do not permit physical contact with colleagues or friends of the opposite sex that is more intimate than a handshake.

You adhere to a highly conservative stance regarding contact with the opposite sex and prohibit your boyfriend from engaging in these intimate contacts.

I also adhere to a fairly conservative perspective on these matters. Over the years, I have observed a considerable number of videos.

It has been observed that in recent times, a growing number of young people have begun to emulate Western norms, employing a greater degree of physical intimacy in their interactions, even in the context of polite discourse. This does not necessarily indicate the presence of infidelity or an extramarital relationship; rather, it reflects a heightened level of enthusiasm and intimacy.

Furthermore, I respect their habits.

In any marital or romantic relationship, communication is always possible. Your discomfort, and your boyfriend's willingness to compromise, are evident in his assertion that he would correct the situation in the future, which he did.

If one is always inclined to believe that one's own ideas are always right and unyielding, and if one is unable to tolerate one's partner's "differences," it could be perceived as a somewhat stubborn disposition.

In the past year, the video has been a recurring topic of discussion, causing distress for both parties and resulting in fluctuations in the relationship's stability. Frequently, it has led to feelings of doubt about the depth of his affection. This issue has become a source of significant emotional discomfort. While there are no other significant sources of conflict and the desire to terminate the relationship is absent, the inability to move beyond this state persists. The relationship has now become one where frequent outbursts and the tendency to revisit past events are common occurrences.

He is similarly uncertain. Do you not perceive that continuing in this manner is untenable? However, it is evident that you are discontented and distressed.

This has had a significant negative impact on the relationship and has resulted in a considerable rift between the two parties.

The contemporary era is one of unrelenting change, and traditional values are being challenged by the advent of new social norms. If your boyfriend is genuinely engaged in this form of uncomplicated relationship, and there are no plans for further involvement, then what is the underlying cause of this persistent emotional issue?

What, then, is the root cause of this predicament?

It is possible that these feelings are the result of unresolved complexes stemming from previous experiences. It seems that you have formed the impression that individuals who engage in intimate contact with the opposite sex are frivolous, which has led to some misunderstandings and an unresolved emotional issue. Could it be that you have a preconceived "stereotype" of these individuals based on past experiences?

It seems plausible to suggest that an individual may benefit from exploring and studying their own behaviour. It is possible that a similar situation may be occurring in the subject's family, due to the subject's own frivolous behaviour, resulting in unfaithfulness and fickleness, which has caused chaos and disunity within the family, leading to the subject holding a negative prejudice against this type of man.

Should one perceive their relationship to have reached a point of impasse and experience a profound sense of internal conflict, it may be beneficial to seek the guidance of a qualified counselor. Such an individual can provide a supportive and objective presence, facilitating a process of self-exploration and adjustment. This can assist in fostering a greater sense of acceptance and emotional release, ultimately leading to a renewed sense of inner tranquility.

It is imperative that you love yourself as well as the world and others.

Dear questioner,

My name is Liu, and I am a listening therapist.

We were saddened by the problems in the relationship. We were initially attracted to each other and spent time together, and after three years of emotions and time together, we felt reluctant to part. But it was also difficult to keep paying attention. We were torn between the relationship and these past events. Even though they are in the past, they are like a stone in our shoe, weighing on our feet.

First, romantic relationships are exclusive, and long-distance relationships are actually relatively difficult. Trust is an important issue, and it must be respected.

It is clear that when a man and a woman become lovers, they will have friends of the opposite sex. If one party shows that they mind, and the other party says that they are just friends and colleagues, you will be labeled as "not generous." There is no question that you will feel anxiety, disappointment, and unease.

From an exclusive perspective, I understand your feelings. You are in a long-distance relationship, and you see your boyfriend relatively infrequently. You have seen on social media that he is messaging a female colleague every day. You have also seen pictures of him holding an umbrella together with her, arm in arm, head on shoulder, heart shape, and posted on social media.

This kind of interaction is unacceptable.

It is, without a doubt, ambiguous.

We know the lover did not cheat. He explained he did not betray you, and there were other people present.

But it still hurt.

This kind of interaction inevitably leads to misunderstandings.

This is a discussion we often have with people in relationships: whether certain actions are intimate or crossing the line. Even if there is no betrayal, does this make the other person feel uncomfortable?

2. We will find out what the psychological issues behind "something that we can't let go of" are. If you keep trying to forget it but can't, you will go over it again.

(1) We have two conflicting voices inside us.

As previously stated, since he did not cheat, he explained. This pressure may be subliminally transmitted as a need for us to be "magnanimous," to understand and let go.

In many narratives, it will be labeled as jealousy, and others will say that you are thinking too much. We may also suppress our feelings because of this. We will tell ourselves that this is not a matter of principle, and that we shouldn't think like this.

But in your subconscious, you are full of confusion. You have not been betrayed, but you still feel disrespected. This triggering of a sense of insecurity will affect the subsequent trust between the two parties. It will also become a catalyst for various conflicts.

This grievance

It has not been presented fully.

It has not been seen for what it is.

(2) No two leaves in the world are exactly the same, and everyone's thoughts will be different. The core issue is that he, at the beginning, as I said at the beginning, believes that there is no problem with his interpretation.

Mutual adjustment is essential in relationships. It is crucial to constantly assess the boundaries of the relationship between the two parties, respect those boundaries, and strive to reach a consensus. If consensus cannot be reached, the relationship will inevitably end.

Your boundary is clear: in a romantic relationship, such behavior crosses the line. As a person with a partner, you should not interact so closely with other members of the opposite sex.

His boundaries are clear: "discussing the heart without discussing the traces." He would never have an emotional relationship with these women, and it would be fine even if there was such interaction. In your statement, he doesn't remember much of himself.

The reality is that two people can have completely different standards for boundaries. It's clear that he crosses yours without even realizing it at first.

3. Based on your situation, I am going to offer you the following suggestions, which are based on my personal opinions.

(1) Value your emotional feelings. Respect your own boundary standards. Express and release them.

Everyone has different standards for boundaries. If you feel a conflict of boundaries, it's important to recognize that your emotions need to be seen. Don't suppress this topic under the guise of principles.

When we are clear that this is not a trivial matter for us, we can truly understand ourselves.

You need to work with your feelings and accept yourself first. You're already doing this, which is remarkable. You're trying to express yourself, write about it, and hope that people will accompany you and look at it from different perspectives. This is a very important step. You can also try talking to a mental health professional to vent and relieve emotional anxiety, which may help you sort out your thoughts in the process.

(2) It is crucial for you both to be able to discuss this openly and honestly, with the intention of solving the problem together.

It is clear that there are psychological issues of boundaries and security at play here, and that this incident has been ongoing for some time. In addition to this incident itself, there may also be underlying issues with the patterns of communication and getting along. This is not something that one person can resolve on their own; it requires input from both parties.

The mode of communication in long-distance relationships is of the utmost importance.

Love is never a one-person thing. If you don't want to separate and you don't want to continue living together unhappily, you need to break this stalemate. You may need to adjust your mindset, and he needs to be involved in this process.

Find an opportunity to communicate with your partner. Find out if you didn't feel secure before or after this incident. What are your specific demands? You and your partner can find solutions to this.

It's only when two people work together that this will get resolved.

Love makes it possible.

(3) You are not dwelling on the past, but the psychological trauma caused by this incident has not passed. You have the freedom to choose.

We must consider how to approach the relationship if it cannot be resolved. After all, love is like drinking fish water—you know the temperature yourself. If you are pushed to your limits, it will impact your mental health.

You have a clear boundary in your romantic relationship.

I'll tell you where the boundary of self is.

If you're in a relationship that makes you unhappy and you've tried to resolve the issue but haven't made any progress, ask yourself: is this a relationship that consumes you or one that grows you? And is it a sustainable relationship?

This is something we absolutely need to think about.

In any case,

You have to love yourself before you can love others.

That's my answer.

Thank you for reading.

I am a psychological counselor at Yi Psychology.

I'm here to help. Get in touch.

Hello. I hope my answer helps.

You love each other and have no major problems in your relationship. It's just a matter of boundaries. You and your partner may have different interpretations of the issue, but you have basically reached a consensus through communication. However, you are still worried because you are in different places and you feel that you have crossed the line on this issue before. What do you need from him to re-establish trust in your relationship? You can also explore how to solve the problem of being in different places, increase your sense of connection and authenticity in the relationship, and ensure passion, intimacy and commitment in all three areas.

My advice is this:

Long-distance relationships are more difficult because you can only communicate through words or video. If communication is not smooth, it is easy to cause misunderstandings and harm your relationship. Therefore, we need to enhance communication and trust between the two of you.

My husband and I were in a long-distance relationship for four years. I was just like you. I was sensitive and would often get upset. The reality wasn't as bad as I thought. We added a lot of imaginary elements because we weren't by each other's sides.

Long-distance relationships have obstacles because you are not around each other, which can make both parties feel insecure. If you misunderstand, it is easy to fall out. If you don't communicate well and don't trust each other, the relationship will suffer. This is normal and nothing to be scared of. The key is to communicate well and build trust.

2. Find out what you need. Your needs are important.

What are your feelings when you see those videos and photos? Besides being angry, aren't you also a little envious? Don't you wish it was you, not them, in the photos and videos? You long for his company, closeness, care, and warmth.

But you two living apart makes this difficult. You need to meet your needs or you will feel insecure.

If you can see your needs, express them in a reasonable way, and propose ways for your partner to meet them, you will feel loved.

3. Communicate positively, set rules, create romance, and protect your love.

Positive communication is not about criticizing, but simply expressing feelings and needs. For example, regarding the previous incident, you can say: When you get too close to other people, I feel angry, especially sad. I especially need your love and care, and I also want your company. I hope that I am different from other girls in your eyes. In the future, please don't have physical contact with any other girls except me.

He cares about you but doesn't know how to love you well. You can ask for specific things. For example, three phone calls a day, sweet nothings before bed, and meeting up sometimes. You can surprise him and look forward to romance. Otherwise, we won't feel good.

Research shows that we need more good than bad in our lives to feel happy. So, check if your relationship has a positive ratio. If not, take the initiative to make it happen. You'll feel better in your relationship.

For your reference. Best wishes!

I appreciate the invitation!

The issue the original poster is grappling with is not a problem with the relationship itself, but rather a discrepancy in the way the two individuals interact with each other and with others on a personal level.

You are emotionally clean and single-minded in your intimate relationships. You require the other person to be the same as you.

Your boyfriend is a "lady's man" who gets along well with female colleagues and classmates and behaves in an intimate manner that makes it clear he has crossed the line.

Your boyfriend has explained that his actions are not what you think they are, but you still feel uncomfortable.

Exclusivity and monopolization are part and parcel of any relationship.

You may understand that he has not committed any cardinal sin and believe that his feelings for you are different from those for other women, but you will still be unable to let it go. Even if you have let it go in your heart, you may still irritate him with your words.

You can't let it go in your heart, and you hope that he will understand that the presence of other women in your relationship will make you feel unimportant, precisely because you love him so much. You may not say it out loud, but you feel it.

This is your feeling and your position!

When there is a conflict between two people, it is essential to understand each other's thoughts and feelings and work together towards a solution that satisfies both parties. It is counterproductive to try to force your views on the other person.

If you can't pull it off, the two of you will develop opposing forces, and the end result will go against your original intentions.

Let's analyze your boyfriend's situation.

If your boyfriend has no romantic feelings for other women but lacks boundaries in his relationships, he is likely more popular with women.

He is more gentle, understands and tolerates women, and tends to be a soft-spoken person.

He is probably an outgoing, enthusiastic, easy-going, joking person who treats women like buddies, and the women he is involved with may tend to be a bit more masculine.

If both personalities like and get along well with a group of women, then he undoubtedly has a close relationship with his mother and other female family members.

You can't tolerate any mistakes, so you don't like him hanging out with women.

Avoid getting emotionally involved. It's fine to just hang out.

However, it is challenging to implement a sudden change in patterns for intimate and other relationships that have been established over time.

He'll either draw a line and stick closer to you, which he finds uncomfortable, or he'll distance himself from you, which you find uncomfortable.

You have two options: let it go, take care of his feelings, and suffer a little yourself.

Either way, it's clear that you're both only thinking about yourselves and don't care what the other person thinks.

A situation like this will affect your relationship.

There has to be a way for the two of you to move closer together.

Yes, it is. It depends on whether you are willing to do so.

He can talk to you about it if his relationship with his female colleague really has no emotional attachment.

If you can blend into their relationship and hang out together, you'll feel more at ease. You won't need to force your boyfriend to change.

Your boyfriend needs to pay attention to his problems, tone it down a bit, and take you out to play. That will make you feel better too.

You saw videos of him with female classmates on TikTok before you met, right?

The past is the past. It doesn't matter what happened before you met your boyfriend. It has nothing to do with your current relationship.

If you can ignore your emotional cleanliness a little and allow your boyfriend to "walk through a field of flowers without getting any on him," he will be able to see flowers without getting "flowery."

Your boyfriend doesn't need to cut off all contact with other women. He just needs to pay attention to the issue of "degree."

I'd like to know your thoughts on this.

The above.

I am Yan Guilai, a psychological counselor, and I will guide you on your journey of self-discovery and truth-seeking!

It is evident that you and your boyfriend are engaged in a long-distance relationship, that you are experiencing difficulties in communicating effectively, that you feel insecure when you observe him becoming overly intimate with other women, and that despite your tendency to lose your temper, you have not yet reached a decision to terminate the relationship. However, you still possess a foundation of affection.

It is evident that you are reluctant to terminate this relationship. However, you are unable to regulate the negative emotions that arise within you, which results in significant distress. Your lack of security and stability contributes to the prevalence of erratic thoughts and doubts regarding your boyfriend's affection. Additionally, the ambiguity and uncertainty associated with long-distance relationships, coupled with your boyfriend's overly intimate interactions with other women, cause you considerable anxiety and restlessness.

A review of the provided description of the behaviors in question reveals that they are, indeed, somewhat inappropriate. While there is no ambiguity in the description, it is evident that the behavior in question has already exceeded the boundaries that should exist between ordinary friends. It would be beneficial to engage in open communication with your boyfriend to ascertain whether he is aware of the problem and willing to make the necessary changes.

If these actions are allowed to persist, they will inevitably lead to further deterioration. It is therefore imperative to intervene and halt this destructive pattern before it is too late. If the actions in question are of a similar nature, it is likely that they would also be unacceptable to me. However, rather than remaining silent, it is crucial to express one's discontent in a clear and assertive manner.

In the event that he is unable to implement the requisite changes or attempts to justify his actions, it would be prudent to disengage from the relationship and consider the possibility of dissolution.

It would be advisable to communicate with him and inform him of your genuine feelings. It is unwise to withhold such information, as this may result in further discord. If you are reluctant to terminate the relationship, it may be beneficial to attempt to salvage it. This could involve discussing the issues at hand and offering each other another opportunity. It is important to note that a relationship that has endured for three years is not easily dissolved. However, if it becomes evident that the issues cannot be resolved and the other party is unable to recognize their own shortcomings, it may be necessary to consider ending the relationship.

I wish you the best in your endeavors.

Dear author, I understand your pain. It's like a thorn in your heart. Long-distance relationships are challenging enough. With all these misunderstandings and uncertainties, you feel exhausted.

You are not alone in this battle. We will always be by your side, supporting and encouraging you.

We can look at his previous behavior from a different perspective. Everyone has a past, and he needs to realize that his actions caused you distress.

He has apologized and promised to correct his behavior, so give him a chance. Give yourself a chance to let go of the past and rebuild trust and understanding.

I'm going to give you some specific suggestions that you can try to help you handle this relationship better.

First, have an in-depth conversation with him and tell him how you feel. Communication is the key to solving problems, and only through open dialogue can you gain a deeper understanding of each other.

Second, you should attend some emotional communication workshops or counseling together. A professional counselor can help you find the root cause of the problem and provide solutions. This will enhance your understanding of each other and strengthen your relationship.

Additionally, you should change your mentality and use the shadow of the past as an opportunity for growth. Look at the relationship positively and believe that you can overcome the difficulties together and come to the end together.

Finally, don't forget to pay attention to your own inner needs. Do things you like to make your life more fulfilling and interesting.

This will improve your sense of well-being and show him your independence and charm.

Dear questioner, Relationships require joint efforts from both sides. You both have more than enough love and courage to face these challenges.

You will overcome this difficulty and bring new radiance to the relationship. All you have to do is love each other and work hard for each other.

You can handle this problem and make the relationship even better. Good luck!

You can overcome any obstacle. Believe in yourself and your love. You will find happiness!

Hello, I've been living apart from my boyfriend for three years. One day I discovered that he didn't respect boundaries with other people of the opposite sex. This made me feel hurt and angry. I wanted to break up with him but felt it was unnecessary. I couldn't accept it and move on at the same time, and I felt particularly torn and distressed.

You know your boyfriend doesn't have any problems with principles. It's just that you found out about him taking photos with a colleague. Why is this still affecting you after a year? You haven't taken this matter seriously and resolved it.

You may have argued, gotten angry, and apologized, but it didn't go the way you wanted. As for what you want, perhaps you haven't thought it through either.

So why do you let it bother you so much? If you hadn't found out by accident and if he had told you himself, do you think you would care so much? I think it may be because of your upbringing or family circumstances, or perhaps a previous relationship, that you lack a sense of security and are very self-protective, afraid of being hurt.

At the end of the day, you don't really want this. You want to let go, but you can't. You don't want to exhaust both sides like this, but you can't find a way to do it.

Regarding the photo-taking incident, I recently watched the League of Legends Spring Split. Each time the winning team wins a game, there is an interactive session with the fans. Each fan goes on stage to take a one-on-one photo with the player. They usually make a heart shape or use hand gestures to spell out hearts. This is not exclusive to couples, so there's no need to worry.

Why are you dwelling on the past? It seems like things weren't properly resolved. I think the solution is to bring up the problem and identify the source of the issue so we can resolve it.

First, you need to figure out what kind of solution will satisfy your sense of security, let go of your obsession, and give yourself a way out. Is it a good written promise?

You could buy him a gift or ask him to do something for you. It's best to think of a way to do it before you do it. That way, you can solve the problem.

Take some time to talk it through properly. You've been fixated on this for so long, so you need to approach it with the seriousness it deserves. I'm confident your boyfriend will work with you. From what you've said, he still cares for you and is willing to give you another chance. I hope you can resolve this issue soon. I hope the above is helpful!

Good day. I am Coach Yu from XinTan, and I would like to engage in a discussion on this topic with you.

Emotional perception is the capacity to recognize, regulate, and control one's emotions, which is also a manifestation of emotional intelligence.

In "The Plastic Me," Chen Jiejun posits that many individuals are unable to effectively process emotions and thoughts due to a lack of differentiation between these concepts.

The term "feelings" is used to describe the physiological and biological responses of the human body to external stimuli.

For example, if an individual is stabbed with a needle, they will experience pain, which is a feeling. Similarly, if the north wind blows in winter, the individual will feel cold, which is also a feeling. Feelings encompass not only reactions to external stimuli, but also reactions to internal stimuli.

As the questioner wrote, after three years of a long-distance relationship with her boyfriend, she discovered that he pays little attention to boundaries with the opposite sex and feels no restraint when it comes to physical contact with the opposite sex.

Emotion can be defined as a person's reaction to feelings.

To illustrate, consider the physiological effects of a hot environment on the body. In such a context, the palms of the hands may sweat, and the heart rate may accelerate. These are examples of emotional responses, which can be broadly defined as the feelings of annoyance or excitement that accompany bodily changes such as these. These emotional responses are generally processed through the peripheral nervous system.

As the questioner wrote, although there is no evidence of infidelity, the situation has nevertheless caused considerable distress. After viewing the video, I experienced a profound sense of emotional turmoil.

What are your thoughts on this matter? It can be defined as the manner in which an individual cognitively processes and interprets their emotional states and experiences.

As a result of the involvement of both understanding and interpretation, thoughts are generally not generated in the peripheral nervous system, but rather in the central nervous system.

As the questioner wrote, I am evidently perpetually discontented, and I have not yet resolved to terminate the relationship. However, I persist in the relationship in a state of considerable unease, which is highly distressing. I am uncertain as to the appropriate course of action.

Subsequently, the situation is re-examined to ascertain an understanding of the feelings, emotions, and thoughts involved, and to facilitate the management and expression of emotions, thereby facilitating self-knowledge.

What were our feelings and thoughts when we discovered that our boyfriend was engaging in frequent communication with female colleagues? How is it possible for him to allocate time to such interactions while neglecting our relationship?

One might inquire whether their partner is more extroverted in nature. Has he grown up in an environment where he has been in contact with the opposite sex more often?

What are our feelings and thoughts when we observe videos of our partner engaging in behaviors that appear to violate the boundaries typically observed between individuals of different genders? These behaviors seem to align with the types of poses typically performed by individuals in romantic relationships or by siblings.

Indeed, one might inquire as to the specific elements of the video that evoke such distress. Additionally, it would be beneficial to examine the underlying motivations behind the desire to hold one's partner accountable for their actions.

What is the underlying motivation for the desire to terminate the relationship?

What are our feelings and thoughts when we consider the instances in which our boyfriend has transgressed our personal boundaries? These actions have caused us discomfort and violated our sense of personal space.

One might also inquire as to the characteristics of an ideal romantic partner and the ideal intimate relationship.

What constitutes an optimal long-distance relationship? What are the boundaries that should be respected in such a relationship?

What recourse is available to me?

It can be reasonably deduced, therefore, that feelings, emotions, and thoughts are the result of a harmonious interaction between the nervous system and the brain. When this coordination is optimal, the individual experiences a sense of inner calm.

A heart-to-heart conversation with one's romantic partner can be beneficial when there is a mutual understanding and love between the two individuals. This allows for honest expression of thoughts and concerns, which can contribute to the establishment of a strong and enduring intimate relationship. In such a relationship, it is possible to address any dissatisfaction with the partner's blurred boundaries with other individuals, as well as expectations regarding how they can address this issue.

In the context of a long-distance relationship, it is also important to listen to the voice of one's partner and ascertain their plans for the immediate future and the subsequent steps they intend to take, including their expectations of the relationship. Effective communication can facilitate the release of pent-up emotions and enhance mutual understanding, thereby strengthening the bond between partners.

It is also advisable to seek assistance, given that overcoming such difficulties is often challenging. It is beneficial to identify a family member or friend who can provide positive support and guidance. If necessary, it is acceptable to seek the help of a counselor, as emotional release can facilitate the alleviation of distress and stagnation.

It is also imperative to empower oneself. Any change must originate from within. It is essential to cultivate one's own interests and hobbies, expand one's inner knowledge, and establish an independent evaluation system. When one's core is robust and stable, others will naturally feel a sense of intimacy towards that person.

It is recommended that the following text be read: "Intimacy, Achieving Soulmates."

Hello, question asker! My name is Evan, and I'm a counselor in the transpersonal school of thought.

From the questioner's description, I can feel the questioner's negative emotions, such as pain and confusion. But there's hope! In long-distance relationships, trust, understanding, and communication are particularly important.

It's totally normal for the questioner to feel a little upset about the way her boyfriend has not been able to set boundaries when spending time with the opposite sex. At the same time, the questioner also mentioned that your relationship has its good and bad times, and you often bring up old issues, which causes pain for both of you.

Trust and boundaries are super important in a relationship, especially in long-distance ones! We all have our own needs and expectations in intimate relationships. If you're too concerned about past events, then it's time to find out why you care so much about your boyfriend's experience and what feelings this experience brings up in you.

Often, in an intimate relationship, it's so important to express our inner needs and expectations to our partner. It's a great way to see if the other person can satisfy or make an effort for us!

Oh, the possibilities! What is the questioner trying to tell the questioner with this reaction? Or is the questioner worried about something else?

The good news is that the questioner can carefully observe how to manage intimate relationships and maintain their intimacy to a level that makes them satisfied. This does require effort from the questioner, but it's worth it!

Since the question was asked on a platform, we can't dive deep into the author's inner feelings. But we can still give the author some awesome advice on her question!

Open communication is the way to go! The questioner needs to talk honestly with her boyfriend about her feelings and concerns, and let him know how much these things affect her. The questioner has previously expressed dissatisfaction with his behavior and has proposed breaking up.

He said he would correct his behavior and that he had no other intentions with those girls, which is a great start! Communication is an ongoing process, so let's keep the lines of communication open and see where it leads.

It's time to tell him how you feel! Be clear about what behaviors make you feel uncomfortable. When communicating, try to remain calm and rational and avoid emotional expressions.

At the same time, you should also listen carefully to his explanations and opinions, and try to understand his position and thoughts. It's so important to communicate effectively!

It's time to establish some clear boundaries! Have a chat with your boyfriend and define the rules for him when he's around other girls. You can decide what kind of interactions you're comfortable with and how often you want to chat. Let him know where you stand and what you want!

This will give you a clearer understanding of each other's expectations and needs, so you can avoid similar problems from recurring and focus on building a stronger, more fulfilling relationship!

Rebuilding trust: The questioner has decided to give her boyfriend another chance after he made some mistakes in the past that crossed her boundaries. She's ready to move forward and rebuild trust with her boyfriend. It's a long-term process, but she's excited to see what the future holds!

He just needs to prove his change through his actions, and the questioner also needs to give him a chance to prove himself. The questioner and her boyfriend are in a long-distance relationship, which is an intimate relationship where trust is more difficult. I can see how difficult it is for the questioner, but I'm sure her boyfriend will cooperate. Then, they can try to let the questioner know about his actions every day. This is one way to ensure the continuation of the long-distance relationship, and it'll be worth it in the end!

Seek professional help! If you find that you cannot solve this problem independently, consider seeking the help of a professional counselor. They can provide more specific and effective advice to help you improve your relationship and solve problems.

With the help of professionals, the author can also help the author see why they care so much about this intimate relationship and this past—and it's a great thing to be able to do that!

Think carefully: Long-distance relationships are indeed difficult, but they also give you the opportunity to think about whether the relationship is really right for you. You need to ask yourself if you can accept his past, if you can truly trust him, and if you are willing to continue the relationship.

It's time for the questioner to think about the future of your relationship! If the questioner feels that this problem has seriously affected your relationship and cannot be effectively resolved, then perhaps it's time to move on to something new!

A relationship should be a happy and comfortable experience for both parties. If it has become a source of pain and dissatisfaction, then it may be time to reconsider. But don't worry! If you still value the relationship and are willing to work hard to improve it, then have faith and actively seek a solution. You can do it!

You've got this! No one can give you a definite answer on how to handle intimacy issues. You need to make a choice based on your heart. The important thing is to be patient, understanding, and communicate when facing problems. I know you can find a solution that suits both of you and bring your relationship back to life!

I really hope my answer can help the questioner!

I'm thrilled to recommend this amazing book!

I'm so excited to tell you all about this amazing book! It's called Nonviolent Communication, and it provides a brand new way of communicating that aims to help people connect emotionally and live in harmony. If you're struggling with communication issues in your relationship, this book could be your new best friend! It offers effective communication skills to help you better express your feelings and needs, reducing misunderstandings and conflicts.

"Love Doesn't Wear Out: Shaping a More Secure Intimacy" is an incredible book that focuses on the healing and enhancement of intimate relationships. The author provides a wealth of practical advice through real-life cases, offering a fresh perspective on navigating relationships. For the questioner's distress and insecurity caused by her boyfriend's past behavior, this book is a treasure trove of insights and strategies to rebuild confidence in the relationship and learn to better deal with emotional issues.

It is important for any couple to have mutual understanding, respect, and trust. Long-distance relationships can make communication and understanding more challenging, and the situation you describe may be affecting your relationship.

First of all, everyone has their own views and expectations regarding physical contact and intimate interactions with the opposite sex. It is understandable that you feel uneasy about your boyfriend's interactions with female colleagues, given your high expectations for his loyalty and exclusivity in the relationship.

It is important to remember, however, that different people may have different habits and ways of understanding, and that not all interactions are necessarily malicious or ambiguous.

It would be beneficial to focus on communication and understanding. It might be helpful to establish a channel of communication that is open and honest, so that you can express your thoughts and feelings.

Through open and honest communication, you can gain a deeper understanding of each other's perspectives and find common ground. At the same time, it's important to learn to tolerate and understand each other's shortcomings and give each other the space to grow and improve.

Ultimately, it is important to learn to let go and move forward. While the past cannot be changed, focusing on the future together is essential.

If you decide to forgive him and continue the relationship, it would be helpful to learn to trust and let go of your doubts. After all, love is based on understanding, tolerance, and trust. It's likely that supporting and cherishing each other will help you move forward.

In addition, it would be helpful to be clear about what you want from your partner. In a relationship, mutual respect, trust, and support are important.

It would be ideal if your partner could understand your inner needs, tolerate your shortcomings, and communicate with you honestly and openly. It would also be helpful if they could face problems and difficulties together with you. At the same time, you also have high expectations for loyalty and monogamy, and hope to maintain mutual exclusivity and loyalty in the relationship.

You are aware of your partner's intimate interactions with others and hope to be understood and respected in this regard. You believe that in a stable relationship, it is important to avoid actions that might cause your partner to feel uneasy or doubt. It is also important to respect each other's feelings and boundaries, as well as maintain an appropriate distance and respect.

It might also be helpful to consider whether you can accept a partner with unclear boundaries when spending time with the opposite sex. Although you are willing to look at your partner's actions and attitudes with tolerance and understanding,

It is also important to remember that everyone has their own past and habits, and that there may be times when we all make mistakes or misunderstandings. When we find ourselves in a situation with our partner, it is crucial to communicate honestly, express our feelings and needs, and try to understand if they are willing to make changes.

If your partner's behavior seriously violates your inner bottom line and values, making you feel uneasy and painful, it may be helpful to take some time to reflect and process these feelings. It's important to learn to rationally analyze the problem and consider your own feelings and happiness.

If you find that you cannot accept or change it, you might want to consider whether you would prefer to let go of the past and find your own path to happiness.

In short, it would be helpful to be clear about your expectations and requirements of your partner, and to face his behavior with a tolerant and understanding attitude. Love is built on understanding and tolerance. I hope you can be tolerant of each other and create a bright future together.