Long-distance relationship, I transferred my salary to my girlfriend, but she lent it to someone else and got angry?

Good day, I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to address a concern that has arisen. Kind regards,

It is understandable that the host feels distressed. After all, no one's money comes from thin air. It is therefore also understandable that the host is uncomfortable with the idea of letting the other person handle their hard-earned money without consulting them.

With regard to the matter of wage disbursement, each family and couple has a different approach.

It is essential that you discuss and make decisions together on important matters.

It is advisable to allow them to handle the minor details.

Financial matters are often considered sensitive. If one party exerts excessive control, it may be perceived as a form of pettiness.

These three principles remain the foundation for this matter.

1. Joint Management

This is done to provide the woman with a sense of security.

However, this is not the case in all instances. The fundamental principle is joint management.

If the amount of money in question is significant and not required immediately, it may be advisable to place it in a time deposit.

It is advisable to set aside funds for living expenses and to designate one person to be responsible for purchasing items on a regular basis.

2. Mutual trust

Additionally, each individual may set aside funds for their personal expenses.

It is not necessary to engage in face-to-face communication. The most important aspect is to establish trust.

3. Be clear and transparent in all financial matters.

It is important to note that disagreements are to be expected when handling financial matters. It is therefore essential that both parties discuss the matter in question.

All decisions should be made after a clear understanding of the purpose has been reached. If one party makes decisions without consulting the other,

It is important to be open and honest with each other, express any concerns, and move on from the matter.

In conclusion, I extend my best wishes to the host for a happy and prosperous future.

I would like to take this opportunity to wish you all a very warm June. On behalf of myself and the entire company, I would like to express our love for the world.

Hello, question asker!

I saw your question on the platform about your girlfriend lending you the money she transferred. I can see that this has really got your goat! It seems like she thinks you're making a big deal out of nothing and taking things too seriously.

I'd like to take a moment to help you out with a quick analysis.

1. You're in a relationship now, and it's so great that you're willing to hand over your long-distance-relationship-i-transferred-my-salary-to-my-girlfriend-but-she-lent-it-to-someone-else-and-got-angry-13508.html" target="_blank">salary to your girlfriend! It shows how much you care about and trust her. You're giving her money to give her a sense of security, and you want a long-term, stable relationship with her. You want her to be honest with you about everything because you have nothing to hide. The sincerity with which you hand over your salary says it all. When she borrowed money without telling you, your first reaction was to feel cheated. If she had told you in advance, you definitely wouldn't have reacted like this. It's a very disrespectful thing to do.

2. It's possible that your girlfriend didn't think much about it. You gave her the money, and she took it to mean that she could use it however she wanted. And since you only lent the money, she was sure that you would get it back, so she thought you were overreacting. That's probably why you disagree.

The best way to make sure you're both on the same page is to make sure your partner feels secure. You don't have to pay each other's salary, but you should be totally open and honest with each other. If you want to avoid any hiccups, you can set up a joint savings account that you can both contribute to and withdraw from. Being open and transparent is the best way to avoid any arguments. The most important thing is that you both agree to this. You should be honest with each other about big purchases, and you can spend as much as you like on other things. If you're feeling financially stretched, just tell your partner how you're feeling. There's no need to hide anything.

4. It's often said that long-distance relationships either end in failure or break up. But there's no reason why yours can't be different! The most important thing is to build a strong foundation of mutual trust. The first step is to communicate more. Don't keep everything to yourself — you need to be able to talk about your feelings and expectations. Second, you need to create more opportunities to meet up or end the long-distance relationship. Staying apart is not the best solution.

5. Whatever the problem is, if you two communicate well, there's always a way to solve it. It's totally normal to have different priorities, but it's important to be open and honest about them. It seems like you're doing it for her, but she's doing it her way for your own good. It's a tricky situation, but you'll get through it together.

I really hope my answer can help you. I love you so much, and so does the world! ?

Hello! I'm sending you a warm hug from afar.

He will feel your inner feelings of injustice and anger.

You give your girlfriend most of your hard-earned monthly salary because you trust and love her. You hope that she will also respond with trust and love. However, your girlfriend believes that when you give her money, the right to spend it is hers alone. She trusts you and knows that your money is her money. Your girlfriend's confidence in your love, acceptance, and understanding also extends to her decision to lend money to her brother and colleagues.

It doesn't matter if you give your girlfriend money or if she lends it to someone else. The starting point is always the same: love and trust. When you found out that your girlfriend had lent the money to your younger brother and a colleague, your attitude made her feel unloved, misunderstood, and distrusted. And the understanding and trust you longed for from her did not receive the response you expected. What do you think?

This has a negative impact on your relationship.

You have every right to feel angry and aggrieved when you learn that your girlfriend has lent money to your brother and colleague without telling you. You can tell her your true feelings and express what you want her to do, but you must do it without evaluating her actions. This will ensure that she feels respected and accepted, and it will give you the response and satisfaction you desire: understanding and comfort.

I am Lily, the little ear of the Q&A Museum. The world and I love you.

The questioner then proceeded to inquire as to the best course of action to take in order to resolve the issue at hand.

I can discern the essence of your predicament. Your girlfriend's assertive demeanor has led to a sense of disrespected, and you are grappling to convey your feelings to her, which has resulted in a pervasive despondency.

Given the constraints of a long-distance relationship, you provide your girlfriend with your salary on a monthly basis, thereby enhancing her sense of security. It is commendable that you are able to sustain your relationship, consider the needs of your partner, and demonstrate a willingness to take action.

Your girlfriend borrowed your salary without first consulting you. This behavior was a source of disappointment for you. You felt disrespected, which led to your anger. However, your girlfriend was also angry, resulting in a conflict between you.

I empathize with your situation. You have recently commenced employment and have accumulated a modest sum of capital. However, you have made an unintentional loan, which has understandably caused you distress. You are understandably concerned about the possibility of non-recovery. This is a normal emotional response.

You indicated that you attempted to reason with your girlfriend in a patient manner, with the hope that she would respect your views. However, she remained angry and perceived the matter as not requiring such gravity. It is possible that you were experiencing depressive symptoms at the time. The extent to which you were patient in your reasoning with her is unclear.

Did you become emotionally distressed when you learned that she had lent money to others? Did your anger affect her in a similar manner, causing her to become angry as well? It is possible that she may not be receptive to your suggestions.

What might be said to one's partner to facilitate a productive dialogue? One approach could be to say something like this:

1. It is imperative to accept the reality of the situation, the events that have transpired, and the emotional distress that accompanies it. Only through this acceptance can one achieve a state of tranquility.

2. It would be beneficial to gain an understanding of your girlfriend's behavior. Have you considered the possibility that she may have underlying motives or thoughts that you are not aware of? Have you inquired about these potential factors?

3. Women are more likely to display emotional responses when faced with challenging circumstances. It is possible to express one's thoughts in a constructive manner after gaining a deeper understanding and attempting to calm the situation. While the individual in question may not be acting unreasonably, their current emotional state may hinder their ability to engage in constructive dialogue.

It is possible that she has come to accept the situation emotionally.

4. One may gain insight into the differences in the way men and women think by noting that men tend to address problems by finding solutions, whereas women often turn to emotional expression as a means of coping. Additionally, the book "Nonviolent Communication" offers valuable guidance on effective communication and problem-solving.

The aforementioned observations are, in this author's opinion, worthy of consideration and may prove beneficial in providing inspiration. Sincerely,

I am grateful for your assistance.

Hello. I can see you're troubled. Before we discuss the problem, I'd like to give you a hug to show you I'm here for you.

You said you and your girlfriend are in different places. To show her you love her, you give her your entire monthly salary. You want to show her your feelings and make her feel secure.

You trust her, so you're angry when she says she borrowed 10,000 yuan from her brother but only told you about 5,000 yuan. You hope she'll understand and respect you more.

This affects your future relationship, so you need to communicate and agree on how to deal with these issues.

First, you need to know whose property the monthly salary you transferred to her belongs to. If it belongs to you, she can't dispose of it without your authorization. Only you can dispose of it, just as if you had deposited the money in the bank.

If it is property that belongs to both of you, you both need to agree on how to use it. If you say it is a gift when transferring it to her, she can decide how to dispose of it.

Once we've clarified these issues, we'll resolve the matter you mentioned.

This is just my opinion. Use it as a reference, but take care of yourself.