Looking older than peers affects self-confidence, how should one adjust one's mindset?

Hello! I'll give you the best 360-degree hug ever!

It's clear that you're interested in exploring medical aesthetics to address concerns about your appearance. It's an exciting decision!

Medical aesthetics can absolutely change a person's appearance! But remember, a person's state of mind may require more inner adjustment.

You and I are actually in the same situation, and it's great! When I go shopping with my younger sister, people also say to her, "This dress looks good on you."

Usually, I just pretend that the salesperson is blind and let it go!

Guess what! When I pick up my child from school, some kids even say to my daughter, "Your grandma is here to pick you up." I did have my child late in life, and I am 10 years older than some parents, which is pretty cool, don't you think?

The class had an activity that required parents, and the little one had to sign me up. The teacher said directly, "Your mother is too old." The little one was unhappy, but it didn't matter, so I let it go.

Guess what! They also told me that I wasn't the oldest mother, and that some of the other mothers were even older than me.

Absolutely! I am also trying my best to slow down the aging process, partly for the sake of my children and partly for my own sake. After all, it is still advantageous to look young in some situations!

At a certain age, age really is just a number! I often forget my own age, and if someone asks, I get to do some quick math.

When I was younger, I also cared a lot about my age. But now I've discovered something amazing! People you know don't care about your age. And I've also become more relaxed.

It's a universal truth that women want to look young. After all, no matter how old a woman is, she has the heart of a young girl! So, what can we do to make this happen?

First, insist on skincare! It seems you are already doing it, which is great!

Second, exercise regularly! It's a great way to improve circulation and feel fantastic. And of course, it can help you lose weight.

And there's more! Exercising regularly can also help you develop self-discipline. If you succeed in developing a small habit, it will be enough to motivate you to develop other good habits.

It just might change your life from now on!

And the third thing you can do to change your life is this: Every day, look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are beautiful and the most beautiful person there is. This trick really works!

If you're too shy to compliment, no problem! You can buy a related service on Taobao. There's nothing you can't buy!

A Japanese variety show called "Can 50 Days Change a Woman's Appearance?" featured four girls with average looks and even some self-doubt. Then they had people shower these girls with endless praise for 50 days! They even arranged for one of the girls to be with a 21-year-old Italian hunk, really handsome beyond belief, teaching this girl Italian and turning on the praise mode. It's truly a rainbow fart that doesn't cost money!

The girls can praise even the simplest T-shirt! The amazing thing is that after 50 days, the girls really are like two different people.

And there's more! You can search for related content.

In fact, this is a self-fulfilling prophecy for psychology students. I absolutely believe that if I think I am beautiful, I can really become beautiful!

Fourth, it's time for a change! Update your style with some simple, basic looks that are made with better quality. And don't forget to rock those heels! High heels can give you that extra boost of confidence and help you walk with more momentum.

And you can also talk to a counselor!

I am a counselor who is often depressed and sometimes positive. The world and I love you!

Good day, I hope this message finds you well. I just wanted to send a quick note to say hello and offer my support. Please don't hesitate to reach out if you need anything. Warm regards,

I empathize with your situation and recognize the discomfort you're experiencing. I frequently receive similar comments. I recall an incident from my junior high school days when a 17-year-old pointed at me and loudly inquired, "Are you 25?"

At the time, my mother was only 40 years old. The individuals in question were surprised to learn that she had a 25-year-old child. Even after my mother explained that I was only 17 and presented them with the relevant facts, they remained incredulous. It should be noted that at the time, I was relatively overweight and had a maturity that was not perceived as "cute."

I have a process for overcoming the perception of being "old," and I am eager to assist you in this endeavor. In light of your confusion, I would like to share some insights that I believe will be beneficial for us to discuss.

When others imply through various feedback that you are older than your actual age, I found the words "not pretty" and "confident" in your description. I would like to discuss with you the relationship between "old," "not pretty," and "confident."

Let us first examine the implications of each of these indicators.

It is generally undesirable for individuals to be perceived as looking older than their actual age or than another person. The term "old" has a number of meanings.

Furthermore, the interpretation of the term "old" can vary from one individual to another. Commonly, it is associated with attributes such as being unattractive, lacking vitality, not aligning with the typical characteristics of one's age group, being isolated from one's peers, and being excluded from the same age group.

Even some non-appearance connotations, such as outdated thinking, make this person appear dull and uninteresting.

These perceptions of "old" affect our emotional state when others comment on our age. They lead to a decline in self-worth, which in turn affects our confidence.

These words that evaluate us as "old" are, in fact, an invisible attack. They stereotype us based on our appearance, which is unfair. However, we cannot change other people's opinions.

If you have considered plastic surgery, I hope you will be able to look at the real, good version of yourself.

I did not opt for plastic surgery. The solution to this problem lies in understanding the relationship between "old" and "unattractive." To understand this relationship, we must first define these terms, which are commonly accepted.

The term "old" is defined as follows: 1. For some unknown reason, we look older than people in the same age group.

1. There is no apparent reason why we appear older than people of the same age.

2. Some unknown prominent features on our bodies resemble those of older people.

The second category is "Not Pretty." This category includes any appearance that does not conform to the evaluator's aesthetic standards.

1. Our physical proportions and facial features do not align with the golden ratio.

2. Our appearance does not meet the aesthetic standards of this particular evaluator.

3. Our appearance does not align with the aesthetic standards of the general public.

Upon closer examination, it becomes evident that there are numerous distinctions in the evaluation logic behind the terms "old" and "not pretty." However, we tend to perceive them as having a single, overarching commonality, which is a crucial aspect for us to consider.

For example, the terms "old," "senile," and "losing one's beauty" are often used interchangeably.

If we are unwavering in this conviction, we will remain trapped within this perception. However, when I inquire, "Are elderly individuals truly devoid of beauty?"

The following considerations may arise:

1. While there are individuals who are both old and beautiful, they represent a minority.

2. The individuals perceived as attractive are typically celebrities or a select few individuals who possess a striking physical appearance.

3. Concurrently, the mind begins to enumerate numerous individuals who appear older and less aesthetically pleasing, a number that greatly exceeds the number of individuals who are aged but physically attractive.

Another question for consideration is whether an individual who appears to be of a similar age to their peers is perceived as beautiful.

The following considerations may arise:

1. That is an absurd question.

2. However, it is my assessment that individuals who are younger than me appear more attractive than those who are older.

3. Individuals who appear younger tend to exude energy and vitality, which often leads to positive perceptions from their peers.

Finally, I have one additional inquiry. If you are perceived as young and beautiful, does your sense of self-worth increase? In other words, is being young and beautiful an important factor in your self-perception?

Please define what you understand by the term "beautiful." Is it merely a matter of appearance?

What advantages does being young and attractive bring? What is your perception of an older person who is not good-looking?

Once you have taken the time to reflect and formulate your own response, you will find yourself naturally moving away from the topic of "old."

I had a similar experience at the time. In my view, being old meant that I was perceived as unattractive, that I would not be liked and pursued by people of the same age, that I had to look older than I really was, and that others would expect me to take on responsibilities that did not align with my age. It also meant being subject to more rigorous and exacting standards of judgment.

After addressing these concerns, I came to recognize that I have certain expectations. I hope to be perceived as attractive, liked, and pursued by people of my age group. I hope to be seen as relaxed and happy. I hope that others do not evaluate me with a more harsh or higher standard. I also hope that others do not misunderstand me.

It would appear that these hopes have been thwarted by my age.

In fact, this is not the case. I attract well-rounded, athletic, and reserved young men who appreciate my maturity. I am a reliable partner, so others are willing to trust me with important tasks. While some endeavors are unsuccessful and others are not, the successful ones make me feel more valuable.

I am unsure what this means to the original poster, but I encourage you to consider it at your leisure. Everything is contradictory and unified, and established facts cannot be changed. When faced with many facts that are beyond your control, such as the opinions and aesthetics of others,

We accept the facts, leverage our strengths, and embrace them openly. You will find that your life is rich with opportunities.

Hello, I'm Strawberry.

I see you're going through a rough patch. I've been there, so I know it's easy to pretend you're fine on the outside, even when you're hurting on the inside. It seems like the people around you are reminding you of your flaws, even if they don't mean to. This can really affect your self-confidence.

The questioner knows why she looks older than her peers: she has gained weight, has nasolabial folds, and is often mistaken for her mother when going out with her younger sister. I'd like to ask: is there a big age difference between the questioner and her younger sister? If there is a difference of more than ten years, then it's not that this makes you look old, but rather that people find it normal to treat a younger sister of a few years as their daughter at this age. After all, no one knows your relationship.

I've also been concerned about my weight because it makes me look several years older than my sister's sister. Do I look that old? The fact is that my sister looks younger than her age, and coupled with the fact that she is thinner and smaller than me, people will think she is my younger sister, which isn't a reminder that I look older.

I'm not quite ready to make the adjustment just yet. What should I do?

It's important to understand the problem and find a solution.

The questioner knows what the problem is. It's been said that overweight people have the potential to become thin. I don't know how overweight the questioner is, but a well-proportioned figure gives people a boost. Exercising to make yourself thin is something you can stick with. You can also make yourself look younger overall by dressing well. It's not that you'll look younger by wearing clothes from a younger demographic. It's important to choose what suits you according to your figure and highlight the advantages of your figure through your outfit.

There are lots of ways to dress well nowadays. The questioner can read more about it. Products that claim to reduce the appearance of lines and wrinkles don't really work that well. Moisturise your face and don't use too much skincare product. If it can't be absorbed, it'll affect your skin. Don't exaggerate your expressions, as they can be eased. We know where the problem lies, so we can suggest ways to change it. If you want to solve the problem you care about, then taking action is the most important thing.

Don't be hasty or impatient.

Issues don't just pop up overnight, so don't just follow trends or use every method you see others using if you want to make a change. Everyone's different, and not everyone has the same ability to stick with it. Using too many methods can lead to a lack of motivation and an inclination to give up.

Look at how other people do it and choose the method that suits you best. Don't rush things and end up making yourself worse off in the process. Give yourself a time limit to achieve your goal. Accept that problems accumulate, so changes also take time to produce results. Women aren't judged by the smaller the number, the better they look. It's more important to maintain a good figure, so don't put too much pressure on yourself.

Don't worry about your appearance and accept that growing old is a normal thing.

It's true that some people are okay with changes in their appearance, but they can get sensitive when others act in certain ways. Maybe they lack confidence in themselves, so they're concerned about looking older than their peers.

When we were young, we saw some celebrities, and now when we see them again, they are also getting older. Some people will comment on how much they have aged. Can these people who comment on it remain ageless? They are also experiencing the passage of time. Perhaps when they reach a certain age, they will become even older, because they are too worried about others. Everyone is slowly growing old with age, which is a very normal thing. It is also very normal for people to grow old at heart. Your mentality is also an important factor.

I hope my answer is helpful to the questioner. Best regards.

Hello!

Everyone wants to be young and energetic! It's only natural to feel "old" compared to your peers. But what can we do about it? Let's sort this out together!

"Appearance" anxiety is all the rage these days, and I think the questioner has unconsciously adopted this mentality. The source of anxiety is the external environment, as described by the questioner: "being called a senior by peers, an auntie by children, having a girl's heart by colleagues, being treated like a mother when hanging out with my younger sister, etc." It's so interesting to see how external factors can affect our perception of ourselves. It's also great to see how the questioner is embracing their femininity and embracing their role as a mother figure in their family.

How do we perceive these external factors? It depends on our own needs for appearance and the added value based on appearance.

Our need may be to be treated equally with our peers and to receive the recognition, love, and attention we deserve!

Our appearance is determined by genetics and is totally unique to us! A round face makes someone look younger, while a square face looks dignified and mature.

Appearance is fixed, but our state of mind is something we can change! To do so, we just need to do some self-analysis and understand ourselves better.

Isn't it fascinating how the same thing can have completely different results for different people? It's incredible how our understanding of others' judgments of us often projects some thoughts within us, which may be:

(1) Cognitive fusion

We care about what others think, and we want to improve our appearance through skincare to reduce embarrassing situations. This shows that our perception of our appearance has been fused with others' opinions, and that others' opinions are also our own — which is great because it means we can make our appearance the best it can be!

(2) The heart may reject maturity, but there's no reason to!

Being young is great! It means being cute, being cared for, being loved, and not having to take responsibility. Being old is also great! It means growing up, taking responsibility for yourself, and more often than not, giving and showing care to others.

She may be 27, but her mentality is still young and full of life! She wants to receive more love and care, and who can blame her?

(3) The desire to be loved

Now that you've found the cause, it's time for the fun part: the corresponding method!

(1) "Fusion" and "dissociation" with cognition

"Dissociation" is a great technique for dealing with other people's judgments. Simply treat them as words, without assigning "semantics" to them and without relating them to age. When we hear words that make us uncomfortable, we repeat them over and over in our minds, as in the case of repeatedly saying "sister, sister, mother, mother, aunt, aunt." As we speak, these words become just noise and lose their usual meaning.

And when these words lose their meaning, they achieve the amazing effect of cognitive fusion and dissociation! The questioner can give it a try and see for themselves.

(2) Accept your appearance!

When you find yourself in an embarrassing situation again, say, "Oh, I look like an old person!" When we cannot change our appearance, we stop fighting it and instead accept it.

We will think of other people's comments in a positive way. They may think I am "mature," good at taking care of others, or that everyone feels safe with me. And that's a great thing!

(3) Find the advantages of your appearance!

For example, big eyes, sparkling eyes, a straight nose, a small mouth or a sexy mouth, white teeth, etc. Look for them with all your heart and you will definitely find them! Everyone has their own merits.

When we are confident in ourselves, we can stop worrying about what others think!

The above suggestions are for your reference only!

Wishing you the very best!

We need others in our work, study, and life. We also need feedback from others. Good feedback makes us confident and energetic. Bad feedback makes us feel bad about ourselves. We pay more attention to bad comments because we always try to do the right thing to fit in.

Judgmental standards of beauty

There are different ideas of beauty in different cultures and times.

In the past, different things were considered beautiful. Nowadays, people are more open-minded and accepting. Beauty is more diverse: mature, healthy, natural, and confident. Which kind of beauty are you pursuing? Which standard is limiting you?

Advice for you.

Shift your focus.

Focusing on one thing makes it hard to understand ourselves better. It's better to focus on our strengths, find our sparkle, boost our confidence, and free ourselves from narrow views.

Accept yourself.

We inherit our bodies from our parents. We cannot choose our appearance.

Everyone ages. Even the most beautiful face will lose its luster one day. Accepting yourself will make you more confident. You have a healthy body and an optimistic attitude, which are beautiful in themselves.

Keep up your skincare routine.

Don't feel sorry for yourself. Even if you're not as naturally beautiful as others, consistent skincare can slow down the aging of your skin.

You can also learn fashion styles to improve your look.

?

I love you!

Hello!

I saw your question and thought it was so cute! I'm a big fan of the national table tennis team, so I just had to reach out and chat with you. Sun Yingsha is such a cutie! She's a millennial, and she looks so mature. When I first saw her, I thought she was older than Chen Meng, who is from the post-90s generation.

?I'd love to know, does it make you look older? Is it the feedback you get from the outside world, or is it how you feel about yourself?

I just wanted to check in and see how you're doing, dear. How are your sleep patterns these days? Are you emotionally stable?

Is it tough to feel down on yourself? Or do you feel happier, more peaceful, and more joyful?

We all have days when we're not feeling our best. When you're in a bad mood and not at your best, looking at yourself in the mirror can make you feel ugly and old.

And don't worry about what others say about you. It's not important. If you're not happy with yourself, it's hard to be kind to others and give them praise.

Your body can sense your emotions and make corresponding changes. It's also true that anxiety and unhappiness can make you look a little less than your best.

What can a good appearance bring you, my dear friend?

Have you ever thought about what good looks and youthfulness mean to you at 27? It's natural to think that youthfulness is the most beautiful thing in the world. But, if we think about it logically, there's no comparison between the beauty of a 17- or 18-year-old or a young girl who has just started university. Each stage has its own unique beauty and state of being!

If everyone thinks you look young and good, how does that make you feel? You're still very cute and deserve to be loved and liked!

It's totally normal to feel anxious and depressed when you're not getting the feedback you want. It can feel like a headless chicken! Have you considered going to medical beauty? It can be expensive, and it can be hard to know what to do.

If this is really the case, then a good-looking skin is not that important. What you really need and desire is a sense of "I'm fine" and "worth being liked and loved." It is very simple to gain these good feelings about yourself. Learn to love and accept yourself, and you will slowly get better!

? Accept and embrace yourself, sweetheart!

True beauty is being able to accept that I am not beautiful. This is the power of acceptance.

A regular life, good sleep, a reasonable diet, and plenty of exercise can all help make our bodies full of vitality. All kinds of cells are full of vitality, and that means our skin will be fresh and glowing!

I'd also love to share with you an article by the wonderful Mr. Lin Qingxuan, called "The State of Life."

I'm so excited to share with you that there are three levels of makeup!

The makeup on the face is the lowest layer, which Mr. Lin believes is just a kind of disguise and appearance.

Spiritual makeup is the second layer. It's all about enhancing your temperament through reading and exercise. As they say, "The books you've read, the roads you've traveled, and the people you've met are ultimately hidden in your temperament."

The makeup of the soul is all about embracing the natural, abundant state of life. It's about letting your true self shine through. And the best part? It's totally natural!

I really think you'd enjoy reading Lin Qingxuan's "The Makeup of Life." You can find it online.

I really hope my answer is helpful to you! I love you all so much, and I hope you have a wonderful day! ??

Hello, question asker: I'm happy to answer your question. For women, age is always a concern. Staying young is a lifelong goal for some women. As we age, the years leave marks on our bodies. Some people have more noticeable marks than others.

Modern anti-wrinkle products help women look younger. You may look older than others because you have children or because you dress and act more maturely.

A person's age also has psychological indicators. To see if a person is young, it is more important to see if he is set in his ways and unwilling to change, and if he is facing challenges from work and life. Beauty and medical technology can only change us superficially. A vibrant, high-spirited mental state will make us full of energy.

People age as they should. At 27, you should look 27. Only when you are strong inside can you stay happy. I'm in Love with Happiness 1983. The World and I Love You!

Hi, I'm a heart exploration coach. I'm here to help you and listen to your story.

I get it. Your appearance is bothering you. At 27, you look older than your peers. The feedback you've received about your appearance has made you even more worried and self-doubting.

First, give you a warm hug. I believe that everything that happens is helpful to me, and I can see the positive side of even the worst things.

1. The idea that you look old is just in your mind, and your ideas determine your behavior.

If you change your mindset, you'll naturally change your behavior. Some people will describe a person's age using words like "mature," "steady," and "sense of stability."

What you see as "old" might be seen by others as "mature, stable, reliable, and trustworthy." This is judgment.

We're all used to evaluating people and events based on our own values and standards. Having values means having judgments, and judgments are beliefs.

There will always be differences in perception. Having your own values will lead to standards, and standards will lead to judgment.

Judgment is good because it can give us direction. But it also solidifies, and each fixation has a "limited belief." You could say that a fixation is a solidified obsession caused by limited perception.

A "fixation" will make life unfluid and can even destroy relationships.

So, there are two sides to every story, and wisdom comes from different points of view. When we look at problems from different angles, it helps us see more of the truth.

2. Why are you so concerned with your appearance based on what others think?

As you mentioned, you've put in a lot of effort to improve your appearance, learning about skin care and makeup. The lack of improvement has made it even more of an issue for you.

This brings us to the topic of self-confidence.

Self-confidence is how you assess your ability to successfully deal with a particular situation. It's a genuine sense of self-affirmation and belief.

Self-confidence is about having faith in your own abilities. It's about believing that you can do something well or achieve a goal.

Self-esteem is all about having self-respect and self-love, and feeling good about yourself based on how you see yourself. It's about having a good sense of self-worth and feeling like you're a valuable person.

There are two main types of self-confidence. One is based on external factors like appearance, height, material things like cars and bags, and the confidence of others like affirmation, praise, and recognition. This kind of self-confidence is false and a sign of inferiority because it stems from a lack of confidence in yourself.

That's why they're so dependent on the unexpected, material things, and other people. It's as if they think the value of their own lives depends on external material things to prove it. This kind of confidence is dangerous because it's based on things that could disappear.

There's another kind of confidence, too. This is confidence in yourself. It doesn't depend on what other people think. It's an inner belief in yourself. This is true confidence.

He doesn't need anything from the outside world to prove himself. He has confidence in himself and respects others.

Enhancing self-worth is key to improving self-confidence. You can start with the simplest thing: giving yourself positive feedback, affirming, praising, and accepting yourself consistently.

You can check out my article, "It turns out that the root cause of psychological problems is it," on my personal website.

I'd also recommend the book "Your image is worth millions." Image is not just about appearance; it's also about temperament and cultivation. Women are more beautiful because of their temperament.

I hope this is helpful to you, and I wish you all the best.

If you want to keep the conversation going, just click "Find a coach" in the top right corner or at the bottom. I'd love to keep chatting with you one-on-one.

You seem depressed about this, so I'm here to comfort you. I'm Jia Jia.

First, it's normal to feel anxious about changes in our bodies and even about growing old. Ultimately, it's about pursuing and realizing self-knowledge and self-worth. When we face the anxiety of looking older than others, we're actually pursuing and searching for the value of life.

You're 28. It's time to improve your self-awareness, accept yourself, and have a stable plan and expectations for the future—in whatever area you want to improve, whether it's study, work, love, or life.

I don't know about you, but...

Second, don't worry about what other people think of your appearance. It's normal for children to call you "auntie." They're not paying attention to your appearance or your heart, so don't worry about it. There's no need to stress about interpersonal interactions. The key is facing your inner self.

You must accept and mature yourself to resist internal struggles and external temptations.

Thirty. As a woman, it is understandable to invest in and pursue the external, but everything should be done in moderation. Too much impulsive consumption is the devil and causes unnecessary physical and mental burdens. Paying attention to the internal and the future is what matters most.

I can help you. I look older than my peers because I am a man. I had just graduated and started working not long ago. I was in the elevator on my way home when I met an older woman with a young child. She was much older than me, but she tugged the child's hand and said, "Come on, call me grandpa..."

I am a confident young man (ID: qingnianJIA2020) and I look forward to maintaining communication with you.

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