Married for a year now, I truly can't stand the view of the graveyard from the house, and I'm on the brink of depression. What should I do?

Hello, I'm a heart exploration coach. I'll listen to you with warmth and sincerity.

They sense your worries, which come from your wedding home having a view of a cemetery and a temporary communication gap with your loved one.

You feel troubled because your wedding home has a view of a cemetery and there is a communication gap between you and your loved one.

Let's look at what went wrong.

Let's look at what went wrong.

?1. Life has many psychological hints.

?1. Life has many psychological hints.

China has many traditions, like posting couplets and setting off firecrackers at New Year. These customs have been passed down for a long time and have some psychological hints.

China has many traditions, like posting couplets and setting off firecrackers at New Year. These customs have been passed down for a long time and have some psychological meaning.

Firecrackers are now used to celebrate, but in the past they were used to drive away bad luck. Putting up New Year couplets and giving red envelopes for good luck are also done for the same reason.

We usually judge people and things using our own values and standards. Values mean judgments, which are beliefs.

It's like a "tomb view room." It's hard for people in the Mainland to accept. But in Hong Kong and Macau, where "feng shui" is important, people like to live in such rooms. They're often very popular and sell at high prices.

Judgment is good, but it can also limit us. Fixation is a hardened persistence caused by limited perception.

"Fixation" makes life rigid and destroys relationships.

It's like a woman whose heart has been broken by a man saying, "All men are bad." This is a limited way of thinking. With this kind of perception, she will also miss many good relationships.

Within the scope of one's own understanding, judgment is biased. When there are values, there are standards, and when there are standards, there is judgment.

You can look at things from different points of view and see more of the truth about problems, which gives you more options.

Intimate relationships require effective communication.

Intimate relationships require effective communication.

You haven't expressed your anger, but you've avoided talking about it. It seems fine, but there's a hidden current and the crisis is dangerous.

Men want to be appreciated, adored, and admired by their partners. You want her to understand and support your ideas and actions.

A woman wants to feel secure, valued, and cared for by her man. She is not objecting to selling the house, but to the feelings behind it. She feels insecure and unappreciated.

Anger is caused by unmet needs.

Lack of communication causes marital conflicts.

Let's learn about effective communication. Words are not clear, and marriage is not guesswork.

Communication affects our lives. It's important in relationships. "Relationships are the point of life."

We often use communication to manipulate others.

We often use communication to manipulate others.

Control: trying to make someone do what you want.

Manipulation is getting what you want by controlling the other person.

Manipulation is draining.

Communication is sharing thoughts and feelings to reach a consensus or smooth emotional communication.

Communication is sharing thoughts and feelings to reach a consensus.

Effective communication includes:

1. Express your thoughts and feelings directly, but also try to understand the other person.

2. Emotional feedback: Communication is about solving problems, so keep emotions flowing.

2. Emotional feedback: Communication is about solving problems, so keep emotions flowing.

3. Keep an open mind. We're all in this together. The goal is to reach a consensus.

3. Keep your thinking unified. Discuss and negotiate together to reach a consensus.

4. Work together to find solutions based on respect, trust, and understanding.

4. Work together to find solutions to problems based on respect, trust, and understanding.

Communication is about expressing my wishes and needs while finding a way to reach an agreement.

Communication is about expressing my wishes or needs and finding a way to reach an agreement.

Control is about keeping the other person in line.

Men and women are different. "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" and "The Five Love Languages" are good for you. Don't be anxious. 1+1>2, the power of two is greater than one. The key is effective communication, full of love and patience.

Men and women are born different. Read "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" and "The Five Love Languages." Don't be anxious. Two people are stronger than one. Effective communication is key.

I hope this helps. I love you.

Click "Find a coach" to continue communicating. I will communicate and grow with you one-on-one.

Greetings!

I empathize with your situation, as you have experienced repeated difficulties in purchasing a residence, which has led to feelings of frustration and distress.

A house is a unique commodity, and there are numerous aspects to consider when purchasing one. It is evident that you have faced challenges in the process of buying a house on two occasions. Initially, you did not conduct sufficient research into the surrounding area, which led to your inability to accept certain aspects of the house after moving in. Subsequently, you repeated this mistake, paying a deposit of 100,000 yuan for a house that could not be constructed.

Purchasing a house can be a highly frustrating experience. How should one adjust one's mindset in such a situation?

1. Accept the current situation and address your emotions.

It is not uncommon to experience a range of negative emotions, including frustration, depression, self-blame, and anger, in addition to feelings of misunderstanding and complaints from one's spouse. These emotions can contribute to a negative mood. However, it is important to recognize that the intensity of these emotions can be managed through techniques such as relaxation and emotional regulation. It is essential to allow oneself to accept the current situation and provide oneself with explanations for one's feelings. This process of emotional acceptance and self-explanation can help to reduce the intensity of negative emotions and promote emotional well-being.

For example, one might posit that the sale of the house with the unappealing view was fortuitous, despite the resulting financial loss. The avoidance of residing in a house with such a view for an extended period would have negatively impacted one's emotional state. The fact that the house was not constructed, despite the initial payment of 100,000 yuan, is viewed as a positive outcome, as it allows for the potential recovery of losses through litigation.

This line of thinking will gradually mitigate the intensity of your emotions and facilitate your ability to accept these circumstances.

2. It is important to communicate with your wife in a clear and transparent manner. There is a possibility that the machine may misunderstand your intentions, assuming that you purchased the house solely to facilitate your marriage and subsequently sell it afterwards.

However, this is not the sentiment that truly resonates within your heart. You have the opportunity to elucidate your genuine thoughts and foster his comprehension. Additionally, you can divulge your inner anguish to your wife. You can provide solace and motivation to one another, navigate this challenging phase, and emerge with a positive outlook.

3. Identify and analyze the missteps made during the home-buying process to gain insight from these experiences.

Every experience offers an opportunity for learning. The purchase of a home represents a significant life event. The unexpected circumstances encountered during the two home purchases can be used to identify areas for improvement, which may have contributed to the outcome. For instance, there was insufficient investigation of the surrounding environment and a lack of thorough qualification review of the developer, as well as inadequate process control in signing the contract after paying the deposit. When dealing with complex matters that are outside one's area of expertise, it is advisable to seek guidance from professionals or experienced relatives and friends. Careful handling can help to reduce the likelihood of mistakes.

However, it is important to recognise that life is inherently risky. When faced with adversity, it is crucial to maintain composure and a rational outlook. It is unproductive to dwell on regrets or self-blame for circumstances beyond one's control. Instead, it is essential to strive for recovery and make amends where possible.

It is my hope that Hongyu's reply will prove beneficial to you. I am grateful for your inquiry.

In light of this incident, it is crucial for the questioner to take a step back and learn from the experience. They should strive to be more considerate in all future endeavors. In some cases, success hinges on seizing a rare opportunity, akin to the scenario depicted in the Romance of the Three Kingdoms. To achieve victory, one must align the right conditions, timing, place, and people. Hence, it is advisable for the questioner to be more deliberate and mindful in their future actions to increase the likelihood of success and mitigate risks.

2. Increase your patience and learn to adapt to your environment.

It is important to recognise that there are many factors beyond our control. While we cannot control the environment, we can adapt to it in order to better manage our lives. In this case, the key is to focus on the specifics. Given that the original poster has already purchased a house, it may be more prudent to consider a second-hand or existing property.

If there is no suitable property on the market, you can also wait until a suitable property is listed and purchase it. This process requires patience. The questioner has placed himself in an unfavorable position due to a lack of patience. Regarding the current situation, the questioner should not be overly concerned. While many properties are in a state of unfinished construction, they will often be resolved by the relevant regulatory authorities in the end. This is because a real estate company's broken capital chain will lead to serious economic problems. The relevant departments will not allow such a major crisis to occur, but it may indeed take some time to resolve such problems. Therefore, I hope the questioner will remain optimistic and wait for the outcome of the problem. If it takes time for the property to be built, the questioner should also consider it safe to purchase a new or second-hand property first and then resolve the deposit issue, as some properties take several years to build.

I hope the questioner can put his anxiety aside, maintain an optimistic outlook, and proactively identify the most optimal solution. There is always a way out of a challenging situation. Do not be discouraged; persevere.

After reading your description, I just want to say: "Oh, that's really something! You could buy a lottery ticket with that experience. It's hard to encounter a tomb view for the first time and then encounter a bad developer the second time.

Fortunately, my wife hasn't said anything yet. She's still angry and feels like you're cheating on her, but she hasn't complained to you yet.

I'm excited to share my views with you!

First of all, I don't really like the view of the grave either. I always feel a little uneasy, but I know we can find a solution that works for both of us! From your point of view, you also want a satisfactory new home, which is a common goal for the two of us. We just need to make a few adjustments to make it happen!

If you really want to sue, it may be more troublesome. But don't worry! You can consult a lawyer and join forces with other owners. There is strength in numbers! The result will be much better.

Next, communicate well with your wife. Tell her your thoughts and plans, and ask her what other solutions or ideas she has. It would be great if she could understand!

What a woman wants is this kind of care. She is willing to marry you, which means she is ready to walk the road of a lifetime with you. I believe she is not afraid of hardship, but she is excited to overcome your lack of understanding and communication together!

In the end, the most important thing when encountering a problem is to find a solution. And you have encountered it, so find a way to protect your rights!

Be prepared to stand your ground! You can also discuss the solution with your family.

Take it one step at a time and you'll get there! I wish you all the best soon!