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By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024
Hello!
From your story, I can feel your confusion and worries, but I also feel your determination to overcome them! Poor communication has brought you a lot of trouble in life, but you're ready to turn things around.
If your daughter-in-law is always arguing with you, it means two things: she cares deeply about her relationship with you, and some of her inner needs are not being met. Arguing is the way she chooses to communicate with you, and from your message, it seems that you two are not communicating effectively. This is an opportunity for you to work on your communication skills together!
"I've had a problem for four years since getting married: losing my temper over the smallest things." Marriage is an important moment in your lives, and your roles change in the most exciting ways! Then the birth of a child enriches family life and adds to your identities in the most wonderful ways.
Before marriage, a daughter becomes a bride, and a daughter-in-law becomes a mother. Each of these identities has its own social significance, and each bears its own responsibility within the family. And you also have multiple identities!
If you can't switch between identities skillfully, it will become entangled, creating many unmet needs, and thus emotional fluctuations. But don't worry! You can easily overcome this challenge. For example, you see "losing your temper over a trivial matter." When emotions accumulate to a certain level and a fight breaks out, the emotions of the two people are already intertwined.
We all know that arguments are often easily controlled by emotions. But here's the good news: we can choose to vent our emotions in a way that drowns out the true needs of our hearts. And that means we can avoid arguing altogether!
Listening is the absolute best way to communicate effectively! Listen not only to the other person but also to yourself. Listen to the messages conveyed by the other person's words, tone of voice, and body language, and interpret the content correctly. If you are unsure, check the information in a timely manner. At the same time, try to express yourself in a way that the other person can understand. You'll be amazed at how much you can gain from each other when you accurately understand each other's feelings and needs!
Home is a place where love is spoken! Interact with your daughter-in-law with love, understanding, and tolerance. When her need for love is met, the home will be much warmer!
I highly recommend reading the book "Nonviolent Communication." It's an excellent, easy-to-understand resource!
I absolutely love the rain! I hope you enjoy reading my message as much as I enjoyed sharing it with you. Warm regards!
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Comments
I can see how deeply this situation is affecting you. It sounds like there's a lot of stress and frustration on both sides. Communication seems to be the key issue here. Perhaps we could try sitting down with her when she's calm and openly discuss our feelings, without blame. We might also consider seeking couples therapy to help us work through these challenges together.
It's clear that you're feeling overwhelmed and it's important for you to take care of your mental health as well. Maybe finding a support group or talking to a counselor about what you're experiencing could provide some relief and guidance on how to handle the situation more effectively.
Your family's wellbeing is clearly very important to you. With your father's condition and your mother's demanding schedule, it's crucial that the household remains as peaceful as possible. Have you considered discussing the situation with a family mediator who can help all parties understand each other's perspectives and find a way forward that benefits everyone?
You've been trying to do your best in a difficult situation, but it's understandable that you feel at your wit's end. Sometimes, setting clear boundaries and expectations within the relationship can help reduce conflicts. You might want to talk about establishing a routine that works for both of you and ensures that responsibilities are shared fairly.
It's heartbreaking to hear about the strain on your marriage. It's important to remember that you're not alone in facing these issues. Many couples encounter similar problems and find ways to overcome them. Reaching out to a professional for advice on conflict resolution and anger management could be beneficial for both you and your wife.