Dear girl, From your question, I understand that you are an enthusiastic girlfriend who is concerned about your girlfriend's romantic and intimate issues. Your girlfriend is fortunate to have a reliable and supportive friend like you. You place a high value on your friendship and are eager to provide comfort and guidance to your girlfriend. However, due to your personal experiences in dating and your perspectives on relationships, you feel uncertain about offering the most constructive and helpful feedback. Consequently, when you are with your girlfriend and she shares her concerns about her romantic relationship, it can be challenging for you to respond effectively.
This matter can be considered from two different perspectives.
1. Your views on relationships. Despite lacking personal experience of romantic relationships, you observe your best friend expressing frustration with her partner for failing to respond promptly to her messages or to accompany her on routine errands. You perceive this behavior as indicative of a problematic attitude within the relationship. In other words, you disapprove of her tendency to exhibit worry and anxiety in the context of romantic involvement.
When one engages in a critical analysis of potential causes with a partner, they may perceive this as a lack of romantic or considerate behavior. Similarly, when one expresses discontent with a romantic partner in the presence of a friend, the friend may perceive this as insincerity. Even if one does not personally identify any shortcomings in their romantic partner, expressing discontent in the presence of a friend may still be perceived as insincerity. In such instances, it is possible that the friend may also feel a sense of insincerity when engaging in a similar expression of discontent. This perception may be particularly prevalent when the friend is already relatively secure and does not experience significant personal loss. In such cases, intimacy may be used to inspire, appreciate, love, and bring enjoyment and happiness to one's partner.
In comparison, you should be someone who feels relatively secure on the inside and who is independent and direct in their actions. Therefore, you do not perceive any issue with the man, but your best friend consistently makes a significant issue out of everything.
The second point to be made is to identify the reason.
2. The underlying cause of your best friend's situation remains her personality and attitude toward intimate relationships. It is plausible that your best friend is in a liminal period, lacking a confirmed relationship, which may contribute to her lack of confidence in the stability of the relationship. Concurrently, she has elevated expectations of the other person, anticipating that they will demonstrate the same level of care and attention she believes they should receive.
It is possible that children with insecure attachment patterns do have higher demands on intimate relationships when they grow up, regardless of whether this expectation is reasonable. For them, only in this way can they be sure that they are being noticed and loved.
Once this concept is grasped, it becomes evident that the expressions of discontent, irritation, and other negative emotions exhibited by one's intimate partner are indicative of their own internal struggles and insecurities within the relationship. In such instances, the individual may require a compassionate and understanding listener, rather than a partner who engages in complaining or analytical discourse.
To circumvent the current situation of unreasonable complaints and unreceptive analysis, it is recommended to adjust one's response by becoming a good, patient listener. Displaying increased eye contact and affirmation, as well as physical gestures such as a pat on the back or a hug, can help to soothe the emotions of the complaining party.
It is my sincere hope that the aforementioned information proves to be of some assistance.


Comments
I can see how challenging this situation is for you. It seems like your best friend is going through a lot of emotions right now, and it's tough to know how to support her. Maybe try being a calm presence for her, listening without judgment and offering comfort rather than advice. Sometimes people just need someone to hear them out.
It sounds like she values your opinion a lot, which is why she reacts so strongly when you speak up. Perhaps instead of directly agreeing or disagreeing with her, you could ask her questions that encourage her to reflect on her feelings and actions. This way, you're helping her think things through without taking sides.
Your friend might be experiencing heightened emotions because this relationship means a lot to her. Even if the issues seem small to you, they are significant to her in this moment. Try validating her feelings by acknowledging how important these matters are to her, even if you don't fully understand why. That might help her feel heard and less sensitive.
You're in a tricky spot because you want to be honest but also supportive. Maybe it's time to have an open conversation with her about how you perceive the dynamic between you two has changed. Share your observations gently and express that you want to continue supporting her in the best way possible. It's okay to set boundaries too.
Supporting a friend in love can be really complex, especially when you haven't been in that position yourself. It might help to do some reading or talk to someone who has more experience with relationships. That way, you can gain insight into what she might be feeling and find better ways to communicate with her.