My boyfriend is generous with his ex, and I feel unbalanced. What should I do in this situation?

Hello, question asker! I am the answerer Enoch. From the question asker's description, I understand that the question asker is happy to have met a warm-hearted boyfriend. However, during the course of their relationship, some misunderstandings have caused the question asker to feel aggrieved. At the same time, the question asker is very understanding, trying to convince herself to understand her boyfriend. However, she is still not sure whether her actions are appropriate and is unsure of the best way to proceed.

If I may, I would like to assist you in analyzing the root cause of this situation.

1. There may be some misunderstandings and conflicts between the questioner and her boyfriend because they don't fully understand each other.

From the description provided, it seems that the boyfriend is a sincere and open-hearted individual, willing to take practical steps to demonstrate his affection. Such qualities make him a commendable partner and a rare find. Additionally, the boyfriend demonstrated consideration for the questioner's feelings, initially responding promptly and purchasing a suitcase of equal value. When the questioner expressed a preference for something different, the boyfriend took the time to assist in the selection process. Both instances reflect a respect for the questioner's preferences. If the price had been a concern, the boyfriend could have easily chosen a more expensive option. However, the questioner's initial reaction was not clearly communicated, leading the boyfriend to believe that the questioner was uncertain about her desires. This misunderstanding led to the second purchase. It's understandable that the boyfriend might have felt uncertain about the situation, given the lack of clear communication from the questioner. In such a case, it's important to respect the questioner's wishes and allow her to make her own decisions.

Additionally, the questioner mentioned that her boyfriend was also very kind to his ex-girlfriend. It's possible that during previous interactions, the questioner learned that her boyfriend had purchased a suitcase for his ex-girlfriend. This may have prompted the questioner to compare her own experiences, as men's thinking is often relatively straightforward and they don't tend to make many associations. From this incident, it can be inferred that the questioner is someone who consistently considers the other person's needs and strives to give their all in a relationship. However, because such individuals are often too easy to please, they may also feel a sense of challenge to prove their own value, and at the same time, they may also be too concerned about living to satisfy and please others, which could potentially lead to neglecting their own needs and self-improvement.

It seems that the ex-boyfriend's actions may have been driven by a desire for self-satisfaction.

It is, however, a widely held view that the vast majority of men cannot forgive a woman for cheating. This may mean that the boyfriend will never love this woman again. There is an example of a bright star who was good enough for a Lu star, and he loved her enough. Although he once said that he would forgive the other person for cheating in marriage five times, in the end, they got divorced after just one time. Later, Liang Liang felt very relieved and gained a better perspective, because he was not the one at fault.

It is also likely that he will no longer have any lingering feelings for the other person, which would mean that the questioner's comparisons and anxieties are perhaps unnecessary. It seems that the ex-boyfriend will no longer occupy any position in the boyfriend's heart.

It seems that the boyfriend is simply being practical, operating under the assumption that the questioner is capable of purchasing the item on her own and does not require his assistance. He does not appear to be overly concerned with or preoccupied by the questioner's thoughts on the matter.

2. It is not uncommon for girls to be concerned about their position in the other person's heart and to experience some degree of psychological imbalance in relationships.

It's true that girls are born to be queens, and they often like to know their boyfriend's past. They also like to experience that queen-like feeling of being superior to other girls in various comparisons with their exes. However, boys often don't understand this kind of psychology in girls, so after honestly confessing their past, they often plant rows of landmines for their future relationship. That is, every time they encounter a similar plot, the current one will secretly compare themselves with their exes in their hearts, but they are oblivious to it. So it is understandable for the questioner to think this way.

3. She expressed her emotions to her boyfriend, but he was unsure how to respond, which led to a somewhat awkward impasse in the relationship. She was uncertain about the best way to proceed.

It seems that the girlfriend is using a method similar to that of Lin Daiyu's younger sister, which is to express her emotions by acting up to her boyfriend. However, it appears that the boyfriend is also as confused as Jia Baoyu, not knowing where he has offended Lin Daiyu again. This otherwise good scene is unfortunately ruined by some unnecessary associations. It is often the case that art comes from life.

It seems that the questioner is expecting her boyfriend to provide comfort, but he may not be aware of the situation. In my experience, such experiences often have the positive effect of strengthening the relationship.

I hope the following suggestions will be helpful for the questioner:

1. It would be beneficial to fully understand and appreciate your boyfriend, and to try to avoid misunderstandings.

It seems that the relationship between the questioner and her boyfriend is quite positive overall. However, there might be a few areas where there is room for improvement. It seems that the questioner may not have a deep understanding of her boyfriend's feelings and her role in his heart. This, combined with a few misinterpretations, has led to some confusion. I believe that with time and effort, the questioner will be able to gain a deeper insight into her boyfriend's feelings and clarify any misunderstandings as they continue to get to know each other better.

2. It might be helpful to let go of the past relationship with your partner and focus on your current relationship. You could try being the true queen of your boyfriend.

An outstanding woman is one who is confident in her relationship, not afraid to compare herself to others, always aware of enhancing her own value and charm, and who is always secure in herself and those around her. She is also a woman who will never worry about her boyfriend betraying her, and even if he does, she will be able to accept and endure it without being affected. It would be beneficial for the questioner to focus on making themselves better, rather than dwelling on an irrelevant ex. When her qualities in every aspect of life are leagues ahead of many others, she will naturally be the queen in her boyfriend's heart.

3. It would be beneficial to communicate with your boyfriend in a sincere manner, allowing him to understand your concerns and guiding him towards responding in a constructive manner in the future. Additionally, it would be helpful to demonstrate understanding and tolerance towards certain situations.

It might be helpful to remember that guys don't always understand girls' minds and are not always good at guessing them. Perhaps it would be beneficial for the questioner to tell her boyfriend directly what she is thinking, while also indicating that her thoughts may not be very mature. It's possible that she still hopes to receive more love and be treated seriously. It's likely that her boyfriend will understand the questioner's thoughts and pay attention to this aspect next time. However, it's important to remember that he might not know what she needs unless she tells him.

I hope that the questioner and her boyfriend will have a happy life together and that they will work together to build a bright future.

Hello, I'm Strawberry!

Seeing the questioner's confession and sadness, I think that her boyfriend did not treat her as well as he treated his ex-girlfriend. He was willing to spend more on his ex-girlfriend and buy her expensive things, but he seemed to be a bit stingy with her. The questioner compared many suitcases before choosing the cheaper one. She asked herself if she liked it, but her boyfriend bought a password box for more than 600 yuan without saying a word.

The questioner brought up her boyfriend's ex, which could be seen as comparing herself to the other person. If she were to tell her boyfriend her thoughts on the matter, it might not be the best idea. The questioner and her boyfriend's ex are two completely unrelated people. It's just that she met your boyfriend earlier. If she doesn't value your current boyfriend and chooses to cheat on him, it might be a sign that she has some issues with relationships.

The questioner has been with her boyfriend for more than half a year. They both recently graduated from university and are still financially strapped, so it's likely that the questioner's boyfriend has been responsible for her daily expenses during this time. When you moved house, the suitcase broke, and the boyfriend said he would buy the questioner a new one. This shows that the questioner's boyfriend cares for her very much. In this society that emphasizes equality between men and women, he is still willing to give more in your relationship, which is great!

My boyfriend is so generous to his ex-boyfriend! It makes me feel a little out of balance, but I'm sure there's a way I can make up for it. What should I do in this situation?

No comparison!

The questioner wanted a suitcase, and she linked it to the fact that her boyfriend bought a safe for her! This is putting herself on the same level as her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend, and she's thinking that the only way her boyfriend can show his love is by spending more on her.

Actually, these are two different things. The boyfriend and the ex-boyfriend are things of the past. The boyfriend bought her a safe without saying a word! How did the questioner know? Were you there at the time and saw it?

Otherwise, how do you know he bought it without saying a word? You were willing to spend money on your ex, and now you're willing to spend money on the questioner. This is equality, and equality is not measured in money — it's measured in love!

When the boyfriend was surprised that a suitcase cost more than 300 yuan, it's possible that he doesn't use such expensive things. But we know that you get what you pay for, and cheaper things will break more easily. So the boyfriend can only be interpreted here as trying to help you switch to affordable and economical items, rather than being penny-pinching about spending this money.

It's time to recognize the emotions you care about too much!

When we choose to be with our significant other, we accept their past. Your boyfriend had a relationship before he met you, and while it's still a bit painful for him to think about it, he's moving forward and embracing a bright future with you!

The questioner is upset that her boyfriend is treating her differently when buying a suitcase. From the perspective of an outsider, I see the person who wants to live a good life with you. He compares prices because he knows how to live a good life, and he is willing to spend money on you because he loves you.

The original poster came here to ask a question, perhaps hoping to find some comfort and see if other people also think that what her boyfriend did was wrong. If the two of you are spending money at the same time and thinking about such problems, then your boyfriend must be treating you differently. However, the things you buy are different, the value is different, and the time is also different, so there really is no comparison.

So, why does the questioner feel angry at her boyfriend's behavior? It's a great question! Let's think about how that past incident is affecting your feelings about buying something new. What's really got you riled up?

Express yourself more!

A suitcase has sparked a rollercoaster of emotions for the questioner, taking her on a journey of anger and frustration. It's likely that your boyfriend is blissfully unaware of the whirlwind of thoughts racing through your mind. After all, most boyfriends are a bit slow on the uptake when it comes to understanding the nuances of their girlfriends' emotions.

The questioner wants to buy a better suitcase, which is a great idea! It's high-quality and will last longer, which is still cost-effective. However, the boyfriend's behavior makes the questioner feel that he is just unwilling to spend more money on a suitcase for himself. But is that really the case? Because the situation I see is that the boyfriend usually pays for the expenses, and when he sees that your suitcase is broken, he also takes the initiative to buy you one. In this case, has the questioner misunderstood her boyfriend's intentions?

Here's another solution! The questioner can simply send the link to the selected suitcase to her boyfriend and let him buy it directly. This way, he'll pay for it when she spends money. This is a great way to let him choose what he thinks is right for her. Couples need to communicate more. Communication is a bridge that builds relationships. Lack of communication can lead to many conflicts in a relationship. But with communication, we can avoid these conflicts and build a strong relationship!

I really hope my answer is helpful to the questioner! Best wishes!

Frankly, your account suggests that you're jealous.

Your boyfriend is a nice guy. He bought you a suitcase, which shows he's thoughtful and attentive.

They want your opinion. If you say you don't like the idea of buying something for over 300 yuan, they'll find something else. They'll keep asking for your opinion.

From the way he acts, it's clear he cares about you. Does he always do what you say?

But you feel uncomfortable because his ex-girlfriend used a 600-plus model, and yours is not as expensive. As you said, you just graduated and don't have a strong financial foundation.

You understand him and feel he loves you less than he loved his ex.

This is not comparable in love at all. He loved his ex-lover more or less, and that's in the past.

You're with him now. You're in control of this relationship.

Men and women don't think the same way. When a woman speaks, there's often more to her words than meets the eye.

Men only focus on the surface meaning of your words. They pay more attention to actions.

As long as he treats you well in action, that's all that matters.

Nothing in this world is perfect. Even if he has a previous relationship, you can use your charm to make them stay in the past forever. You can be his current girlfriend. That is true happiness.

Good day.

It is not the suitcase itself that causes the imbalance; rather, it is your suspicion of his sincerity and devotion to you.

If we make comparisons with our former partners, even if we are more successful than them, will we not feel a sense of fatigue? The relationship with our former partner is already in the past for our current partner, and we should not concern ourselves with them.

Furthermore, it should be noted that your boyfriend typically assumes responsibility for your basic expenses. While I am unaware of his current financial situation, I am aware that he is quite generous when you are not married. If you have emotions, you can communicate with your boyfriend.

Continuously speculating and envisioning potential outcomes will only exacerbate your frustration. It would be prudent to also present your own requirements to him, for example, "My ex-boyfriend wants a safe deposit box."

However, I believe that both of you are just starting out in society and have limited financial resources. Therefore, it would be beneficial for us to put ourselves in each other's shoes and consider alternative options. It's not that he doesn't want to purchase the item, but that if he does, it will impact his ability to afford essentials like food.

I am aware that you are displeased with the way his former girlfriend has treated him, and that he was previously very generous with her. Consequently, you believe that he should treat you better. However, is the cost of this suitcase a reflection of how he treats you?

It is important to note that different situations affect people in different ways. Therefore, it is essential to analyse each situation individually. For instance, it would be beneficial to consider whether the individual in question is currently experiencing financial difficulties, whether they have recently planned to save money, and whether their spending habits have changed.

Should the two of you wish to proceed, it would be advisable to communicate more openly and honestly.

I hope you will find great happiness together.