My boyfriend taught me how to handle men, but I don't understand and I don't know why he told me.

Hello, dear landlord!

I totally get why there are some issues between the host and her boyfriend. It's so sad to see how she's feeling.

Hey there! I just wanted to share some interesting findings from a scientific study I came across. It looks like the average shelf life of true love is around 18 to 30 months.

It's so interesting how love is actually made up of the brain chemicals dopamine, phenylethylamine, and oxytocin!

It's like a "chemical cocktail," but it's not like old wine that gets better with age.

But, as time goes by, our bodies will start to produce antibodies to this substance.

After about two years, it either ends or turns into a habit.

After seven years with your boyfriend, it's always been a first love, which is totally normal!

Oh, you know, last year I found out that he was flirting online.

He promised he'd never do it again and also gave me something really special.

The poster and her boyfriend have been through seven years of ups and downs. Maybe she thinks it's become a habit?

But with her boyfriend, she might be feeling a bit tired of the same old routine.

So I thought I'd try reactivating dopamine in my brain by flirting!

Of course I still like him!

But you know what? When I talked to him recently, I realized that we have different ideas.

Guess what! Last night he taught me how to manipulate men.

And we had a lovely chat about what kind of woman men like.

And how a woman can make a man increasingly unable to live without her!

And that a girlfriend should flirt a lot!

While her boyfriend knows that flirting doesn't solve real problems, he still hopes that his girlfriend can provide him with the dopamine he craves.

And what he's saying is exactly what he wants. This doesn't mean you can blackmail your boyfriend for being

It's totally normal for people to be attracted to new things and seek excitement.

It's just that whether you two can make it long term together depends on whether your values are the same.

And then there's the question of whether the original poster should change her style to cater to her boyfriend's needs.

It really depends on what the host wants.

I'm sorry, I don't understand.

I just want to make sure I'm clear that I won't manipulate him.

I just don't understand why two people have to do all this weird stuff together!

A woman is usually happy to make a few changes for the one she loves.

For instance, a girl who doesn't usually dress up much might start dressing up for the other person.

A woman who is known for her loud voice suddenly becomes a little woman in front of the person she likes. It's so sweet!

It all depends on what style the other person likes. Of course, you're willing to make changes for them within the limits of what you can do.

Maybe this is what love is all about!

As long as I think of him, I'd be more than happy to do it!

If, in the process, the original poster feels that it's not you and you can't do it,

Then, just keep your own style and talk to your boyfriend about how you feel, sweetie.

At first, your boyfriend was really into the original look of the host.

If it has changed, then you can only accept the reality and not force the other person. It's okay, we all change and grow!

At the end of the day, a good love means accepting the imperfect other.

I just want to wish the original poster all the very best for the future!

I'm so happy it's June! I love you, world!

You're capable, decisive, and straightforward.

It's hard to understand your boyfriend. Just say what you want, do what you want, love each other, and be happy.

What a lovely girl! I like you. I hope you have a great life.

Let's see what happens.

Seven years of first love. Last year, you found out your boyfriend was flirting online. He promised not to do it again, but you still like him.

I was chatting with you last night, teaching you how to handle men.

"What do men like in women, and what do women need to do to make men fall more and more in love with them?" What a clear hint!

Let's try a different pronoun. Your boyfriend says, "What kind of you do I like? How can I be closer to you?"

"Act cute."

How does that feel? Don't you think your boyfriend is cute?

You were always the straight girl when you dated him.

What do men want in love?

Men need to feel valuable and secure.

Men want to be needed, recognized, and admired. This comes from the childhood dream of being a hero. Since this dream can't be realized by everyone, men feel this way especially in the presence of their intimate partner.

A man's sense of conquest is about giving, protecting, and dedication.

Therefore, in love, it is necessary to create a sense of novelty from time to time. A wise love is an interesting relationship with a sense of rhythm.

It will grow more intense with each passing day, and it will be difficult to give up.

Love ends in contentment.

Love in a man's heart is about belonging. It's about companionship in tough times and appreciation in good times.

Appreciating his strengths and accepting his weaknesses is what brings peace of mind.

When a man's hopes are dashed in love, he either daydreams or looks for answers. Your boyfriend goes online to flirt.

Do you want something you can't have?

Your boyfriend is trying to help you. If he were to teach you how to handle men, it would never be to teach you how to handle other men. He loves you and wants you to be happy.

We're used to being neat and tidy, so how can we suddenly become "little women"? Watch romantic dramas and rely on your boyfriend. Love may be even sweeter.

My son said to his friend, "If you can unscrew a bottle cap, how can you find a boyfriend?"

Dear, being a woman, being able to act coquettishly is innate. Let go of the burdens of life, unload the responsibilities, and be your true self in front of your loved one.

Be bold and be coquettish.

Hello! After reading your question, I believe I understand what you're saying. It seems like your boyfriend is indirectly telling you that he needs a girl who can act like a child to show off his strength as a man, and he's hoping that you can make a change.

From your description, it seems that there might be a difference in understanding between you and your boyfriend. It's possible that you're not used to seeing things from his perspective, which could make it challenging to understand his emotional needs. It might be helpful to try to understand each other's perspectives better.

I must say that your boyfriend's approach did take me by surprise. Rather than blaming you, he used a tactful and clever way to remind you. Why is it clever? Because many girls want to manipulate their boyfriends, and he hopes you can make some changes. Of course, he uses a way that he thinks you like, with the subtext being "come on, manipulate me this way."

From this perspective, I believe your boyfriend is quite intriguing. I would also like to suggest that this type of communication is often lacking in many intimate relationships.

If you can understand your boyfriend's needs for you, you may come to see that he is doing this because he cares about your relationship. Otherwise, he would not have reminded you. If you are aware of what problems you have in the relationship, you can try to change them, add some sweeteners to your relationship, and let your feelings flow again.

Perhaps it would be helpful to ask him why he's been flirting online. It might also be beneficial to try to understand his thoughts and feelings.

It might be helpful to communicate more and pay more attention to his needs. It's possible that you may have neglected some important things over the years.

It's important to remember that while love is a key ingredient in any intimate relationship, it's not the only factor. If you rely solely on that initial impulse, it might not be sustainable in the long run. To maintain a relationship, it's essential to cultivate tolerance, understanding, and empathy on both sides, as well as empathy for the other person's feelings. It's not just about loving their good points, but also accepting their shortcomings.

It might be helpful to consider that you have been together for seven years, whether or not you have encountered the "seven-year itch." This could be a time when your intimate relationship is undergoing a period of testing.

This period of trial is when your emotions have been tempered by time, the sweetness and happiness of life has become commonplace, and you are well aware of each other's shortcomings and inadequacies. At this time, if both parties are still willing to tolerate each other, continue to get to know each other better, share common ideals and expectations, and be able to go hand in hand, then your relationship will truly enter a period of stability.

It would be wonderful if your love for each other could grow beyond the simple "I need you, so I love you" to encompass a deeper "I love you, so I need you."

I hope this message finds you well. I just wanted to say that the world and I love you! I really hope this helps.

Hi,

Host:

I'm Zeng Chen, a Heart Explorer coach. I've read the post and I can see you're confused. You've also done a great job of expressing how you feel and asking for help. This will help you understand yourself and your boyfriend better, so you can adjust and find a way to get along better.

Next, I'll share my observations and thoughts in the post, which might help the original poster see the situation from a different point of view.

1. Listen carefully to understand what the other person is looking for.

In the post, the poster said he talked to me last night. He taught me how to manipulate men. He said men like certain types of women. He said women should be more submissive to men. That way, men will be increasingly unable to live without them. He said girls should be more coquettish. I don't understand why he said that. I don't know how to manipulate him. After reading this, I can understand why the poster is confused.

There's a big difference in the way men and women think. Let's take a look at what my boyfriend might be saying when he says these things.

Let's try to figure out what he really wants. For the sake of discussion, let's assume he wants us to treat him as he says.

I think there's a good chance that's what he wants.

Because when a girl acts cute, it arouses a man's desire to protect and be needed. So is that what he really means?

The host can try this out in real life, do what he expects, and see how he responds. You can also communicate with him more deeply and listen to him.

2. If there's something missing in the relationship, it's possible to look for it outside of it.

In the post, the original poster said that last year he was flirting online and promised not to do it again, and gave me something substantial. After reading this, I thought of the saying, "If there is an unmet need in a relationship, there is a possibility of seeking it externally." [I'm just providing the original poster with another perspective on the issue].

So, the host might want to look over the content of the conversations he had with others. This could be tough, but it could also help you understand him better and get to know him better. After all, relationships are based on needs, and he was flirting online, so those relationships online also satisfied some of his needs.

Looking into these needs can help us understand and recognize him better. If we can, we can even meet his needs ourselves.

So, if his needs are met, will he look for them elsewhere?

3. Be aware of and respect differences.

We all have this perception. We all hope that others will meet our expectations.

But we're not all the same, and men and women think differently. So we need to be aware of these differences and respect them.

And make the most of the differences.

Now that we've seen the differences in how men and women think, if we can communicate with each other in a way that makes sense to them, will it be more effective? Will it be more effective to meet each other's expectations?

Of course, we can also let the other person know what we're looking for and ask them to treat us as we expect. Will the relationship become more interesting at this time?

I hope these ideas will be helpful and inspiring to the original poster.

Dear Questioner, My name is Jiang 61.

We appreciate your trust in us and your willingness to share your thoughts in order to resolve your internal confusion.

From your description of your experiences with your boyfriend, I can discern that you question the rationale behind his actions. I also perceive your kindness and straightforwardness.

Despite the seven-year duration of your relationship, you continue to demonstrate a commendable degree of emotional purity. I will now proceed to elucidate the rationale behind my partner's influence on your decision to remain with a romantic interest.

1. Gain an understanding of what constitutes a healthy intimate relationship.

To gain insight into your boyfriend's actions, it is essential to grasp the concept of intimacy.

The fact that you and your boyfriend have fallen in love indicates your willingness to transform your relationship from that of strangers to that of friends and lovers. The fact that you have maintained this relationship for seven years demonstrates your commitment to continuing this romantic relationship.

Should you choose to continue dating, the next step would be to transform this romantic relationship into a marital one. Alternatively, you may decide that the relationship is no longer viable and end it.

The step-by-step transformation of your relationship from strangers to husband and wife involves not only an increase in intimacy, but also an integration of lifestyles, ways of thinking, and ways of behaving.

What adjustments are required to your intimate relationship during this transformation process?

1. Please define "intimacy."

In a broad sense, intimacy refers to the presence of a sense of closeness between two people. In a narrow sense, it refers to the relationship between a husband and wife or a partner.

2. What are the characteristics of an optimal intimate relationship?

There are six key aspects to intimacy: level of understanding, level of care, interdependence, mutual consistency, trust, and loyalty.

The Grant Study at Harvard University has been studying the importance of close relationships for 76 years. Their findings indicate that good relationships contribute to both happiness and health.

You have reached the point of mutual understanding, mutual concern, mutual dependence, mutual agreement, mutual trust, and loyalty, which indicates the establishment of a good intimate relationship.

2. Problem-Solving

1. What prompted your boyfriend to offer these words of advice regarding how to handle men?

You stated that you have been with your boyfriend for seven years, during which time your relationship has remained at a first-love level. Last year, you discovered that he had been flirting online. He promised to cease this behavior and gave you certain gifts. You stated that you still like him.

I understood your meaning without you completing your thought, and that you forgave him because you still held positive feelings towards him. Could you please explain why your boyfriend engaged in online flirting during the seven years you were together?

The issue at hand is the mutual dependence and consistency of the relationship. It seems that you are unsure of your boyfriend's love needs after seven years, which has led to a lack of emotional depth in the relationship.

He is seeking to further express his need for love, which you are unable to fulfill. Additionally, you lack the knowledge to further strengthen the emotional bond between the two of you, leading him to seek fulfillment outside the relationship.

2. Intimacy is defined as the understanding and expression of love.

You stated that during a recent conversation, you learned that there are some differences in opinion between you and your partner. During the conversation, your partner shared some insights on how to handle men. He suggested that men have certain preferences when it comes to women and that women should align with those preferences to foster a stronger bond. He also mentioned that girls should often act like little girls.

His outward-looking behavior prompted a strong emotional response from you. This indicates that you still value the relationship and that he is willing to continue investing in it. After recognizing his mistake, he adjusted his approach to better align with your needs. He began to focus on his own needs and expressed a desire for deeper intimacy.

His subtext is as follows: "I will inform you of my needs as a man, as well as my needs in general. However, you were previously unaware of these needs, so I will now provide you with this information directly."

If you grasp this concept, it will alter the way you interact and strengthen the relationship.

However, based on the question you posed and the preceding account, it appears that you have not yet grasped his thoughts and intentions. As you are still in the early stages of developing expertise in managing your own intimate relationships, you may not fully comprehend the rationale behind his words.

It would be beneficial for you to study hard and achieve mutual consistency before attempting to inject emotional color into the situation.

If you can respond effectively, you will be able to provide each other with the love you need to maintain a healthy, mutually beneficial relationship.

3. Understanding is a prerequisite for love.

You have stated that you are unsure of the purpose of this discussion and that you do not understand why you are expected to navigate these complex interpersonal dynamics in a romantic relationship.

Your assertion that "I don't understand why two people need to do all this weird stuff together" indicates a lack of comprehension regarding the essence of love and affection. It is probable that you are conflating the two concepts.

Love is a motivating factor in my decision to pursue a relationship with you. I am interested in having a physical and emotional connection with you. Affection is a natural consequence of a close relationship. It is not necessary for it to be a dominant factor in the relationship, and it can be expressed in a more distant manner.

When you say you don't understand, do you mean that you still require this in your relationship? Furthermore, your boyfriend desires interactive love.

The lack of consensus is a result of the incompatibility of your respective starting points.

Please consider your boyfriend's perspective. What he requires is genuine affection, the emotional bond that can be experienced in the intimacy of your relationship. It is the love of interaction.

Instead of remaining in a state of lifeless, awkward, repetitive, and enduring togetherness, your boyfriend's need for this is innate, natural, and a desire that emerges in adulthood.

It is also a process that you both must undertake in order to further your relationship.

I have provided a great deal of information, and I recognize that it may be overwhelming. Please take the time to review it carefully and ask questions if you need clarification. I hope that you will be able to apply the insights gained here to make positive changes in your relationship.

Hello, question asker! When I first read your description, I laughed because of your straightforwardness, honesty, and directness. From across the screen, it seemed to me that I could see a young, confused girl. You frankly expressed the fact that your boyfriend was flirting with other people, and you also frankly expressed that the other person's material apology was very useful to you. You also frankly expressed that you still have feelings for the other person. I guess that a straightforward girl like you would find it hard to hide a lot of complicated things in her heart, such as "manipulation" and other "weird" things—and you're going to be just fine!

As you said, you are both in your first relationships and don't have much experience in relationships or intimacy. You are wondering: if two people love each other, they should just live a good life together, what's the point of all the fuss? Haha! You're absolutely right! If you deliberately try to understand and observe couples who are happily married for a long time, you will find that the skill of getting along with each other is very important, but it is by no means the most important thing.

That's mutual trust, appreciation, and mutual need—and most importantly, spiritual need!

From your boyfriend's words, we can guess at his original intentions and intentions in several layers, which is really exciting!

You've been together for seven years, and I'm sure many people have heard of the "seven-year itch." It doesn't matter how many years it is exactly—it could be three, eight, or ten. The original meaning of this saying is to tell people that after spending a long time together, there will be a sense of fatigue, which is manifested in not being able to see things in a positive light, seeing something wrong with the other person, and a lack of novelty and excitement. But don't worry! Some people will become more active in their minds, such as your boyfriend, who has started to flirt online.

I'm not sure how far he's gone with his flirting, but it's a great sign that one of you is starting to feel a little bored and that you both need some help to improve your intimacy. So, if you look at your boyfriend's intentions of imparting his "grasping skills" from a positive perspective, he wants to improve your relationship. At least, he's also a frank person who doesn't avoid his true inner thoughts, telling you some skills that he thinks are correct, with the original intention of improving your intimacy, which has already become slightly tired.

He's eager to improve the relationship between the two of you, and he's definitely in love for the first time! He's got a lot to learn, though. He thinks he's sharing a "good recipe," but it shows he's still a bit naive and immature. Or, he may just be a little naive when it comes to knowing people. A woman who only knows how to flirt with him and manipulate him may temporarily win his favor and pleasure, but she may not be reliable. As the saying goes, "Time reveals the heart," and it's based on long-term observation and getting along with each other, not on temporary tricks. People who understand this truth are either mature in mind or have a wealth of experience, and I'm sure your boyfriend will get there! He's already discussed the "skill" level with you, and he'll soon understand the "principle" level. In this era of instant food and quick results, there are many people who know tricks, but very few people who understand people's hearts. The reason is that people no longer have the patience to observe and wait.

So, your boyfriend still has the chance to gain experience!

Your boyfriend's original intention is very good, which is to improve your relationship, enhance intimacy, and add a sense of novelty. However, his methods are a little immature. In fact, if you want to improve your relationship, you definitely can't do it alone. You must work together! He only sees the direction of your efforts, but not the direction he should work on. This is why I said he is not very mature yet. Of course, no one is mature from the start. The best partner is one who grows and progresses together!

So, at this stage, it's not just about him sharing his methods and techniques with you. It's also about you sharing yours with him! The best way to grow together is to share ideas and concepts with each other. This will help you understand each other better and deepen your mutual appreciation. So, go ahead and try it!

I really hope you two grow together and become a couple in the end!

I've been with my boyfriend for seven years, and it's always been my first love. Last year, I found out that he was flirting online, and he promised not to do it again. He also gave me some nice gifts. Of course, I still like him, but recently, when I talked to him, I found that our ideas were a bit different. That is, when he talked to me last night, he taught me how to manipulate a man, saying that men like certain types of women, and that women need to be more and more indispensable to men. He said that girls should always be coquettish. I don't understand, and I don't know why he said all this to me. He meant that I can't manipulate him. I don't understand why two people need to do all these weird things when they are together.

Dear questioner, I just had to pipe in and say congratulations! It's so great to hear that you have a boyfriend who knows how to live life, who understands romance, and who loves you! I have to admit, I do feel a little jealous. My boyfriend doesn't really know how to live life and doesn't love me very much. I guess I'm just a little envious!

My dear, you are so blessed to be in love. You have so many wonderful things in your life, and you and your boyfriend are still madly in love after seven years! That's truly a beautiful thing.

But, sweetheart, love also needs to be nurtured. It's not something you can do once and then forget about!

It's easy to fall in love, but it's not so easy to stay together. Once you get to know each other better, the mystery is gone. So, what can you do to keep the attraction going?

That's what your sweetheart has taught you about these so-called "weird things."

When a man and a woman get along, the man's sense of existence is to be needed and admired, and he needs to vent his "strength." As for the woman, her sense of existence is to be pampered. So, you see, can a woman's timely crying and coquetry not just meet the needs of both parties? Absolutely!

These strange things your boyfriend has taught you are very practical! It's so great that your boyfriend knows a lot about life!

Use these strange things well and live a happy life! I have to say, I'm a little envious and a bit sour, but I'm also really happy for you!

Hello! From your description, I can see that you have discovered some parts of your boyfriend's behavior that you don't quite understand when you get along with him. Before discussing this issue, if you allow, I would love to give you a big hug first, hoping to give you some warmth and support!

You said, "He talked to me last night and taught me how to manipulate a man! He told me what kind of woman men like, what kind of man women can't live without, and that girls should always act cute. You "didn't understand" what he said, didn't know why he was telling you, and felt that it meant you couldn't manipulate him. You were even wondering, 'Why do we need to do all this weird stuff when we're together?'"

Oh, absolutely! I think you'll find that, after being together for so long, there's no need to keep doing things the same way. It seems like you have different approaches to an "intimate relationship," and he's eager to try new things while you're open to exploring different options.

If possible, I really think you two should have a good, in-depth discussion about these views and patterns. It'll be so helpful for you to understand each other's expectations better! And then you can develop a positive and interactive relationship in the future.

I just wanted to share my personal views with you, in case they help! Take care of yourself, and have a great day!

Indeed, it seems plausible to suggest that the motivation behind these questions is a desire to avoid the dissolution of the relationship, rather than a genuine desire to understand the behaviour in question. It is, therefore, important to consider whether there are other aspects of the individual in question that are worthy of satisfaction.

It is unclear whether my presumptuous analysis is correct.

It would be prudent to shift our focus from the questions directed at our boyfriend to introspection. To gain insight into his true intentions, it is essential to communicate effectively with each other. However, this necessitates a reliance on personal experience or theoretical knowledge.

As previously stated, it is essential to focus on one's own feelings and motivations. This entails identifying the underlying reasons for experiencing distress, discomfort, and reluctance to comply with his directives.

One must inquire of oneself what one's feelings may be. For example, one might ask whether one feels disrespected or whether one feels that one is being treated as a possession.

It is advisable to organize one's thoughts before engaging in a discussion with the other party. Additionally, it is important to consider one's typical communication style, the extent to which the man exhibits male chauvinistic tendencies, and whether these behaviors are a source of concern for the individual in the role of a girlfriend.

If the two individuals in question share a mutual affection, they may consider the aforementioned suggestions as potential avenues for enhancing their communication. In other words, the unilateral perception of these actions as beneficial to the relationship is indicative of the individual's subjective experience. However, if there is a discrepancy in the perception of these actions as being beneficial to the relationship, it may be necessary to engage in a dialogue to address the underlying feelings and concerns.

As the two of you are the only parties involved, you are the most informed about the benefits and drawbacks of the relationship. If you value the aspects you previously mentioned, can tolerate his occasional distraction, but dislike it when he does, and feel that his demands are somewhat unreasonable and are not willing to accept them, it would be beneficial for you to consider your gains and losses in this relationship. If the benefits outweigh the losses, you may wish to reflect on how to communicate with him.

Hello, I'm interested in chatting with you about this topic.

You trusted the relationship and were able to handle it well when you found out he was flirting online. You also handled a disagreement well. I can see your consistent composure in the way you phrase this question.

What negative emotions do you feel when your boyfriend flirts online? What feelings do you have when he wants to chat with you about these "weird" things?

I'm worried about two things:

If we discuss why your boyfriend behaves the way he does, you'll feel safer and less angry, guilty or blamed.

You seem unaware of how you feel about his behavior when you describe it.

I look forward to hearing from the original poster.

You're unsure if you should let this part of your emotions exist. You could talk to your boyfriend or explore this part of your emotions in a safe environment.

You have doubts about whether to let this part of your emotions exist. You could tell your boyfriend or explore this in a safe way.

Hope this helps.

Hope this helps.

Hello, dear girl.

Listen to your story. This problem has been bothering you for a while.

You've invested your heart and soul into love.

In return, I get half-hearted attention.

Not even an apology.

But then she said something that seemed strange to you.

As your older big sister,

As a professional listener,

I'm going to hug you first.

I feel for you, girl.

Family ties, friendships, love, and teacher-student relationships are all forms of intimacy.

All fall within the category of intimacy.

In short, as long as we are close to someone,

It was an intimate relationship.

Both parties are in love, torn between love and hate.

I refuse to stop, I toss and turn, I love and I hate.

Karen Mok sang a popular song called "Love."

The lyrics read:

"If it weren't for loving you,

I would not still be wide awake at night.

Every thought is about you.

I miss you. I miss you. I miss you so much.

I would stop loving you tomorrow if I had to.

I refuse to feel uneasy.

Every day, for no reason at all.

I miss you. I miss you. I miss you so much.

Love is a tormenting thing.

I refuse to give up.

I even speculate about your psychology.

Is there my name?

I love you.

Why do you sigh so carelessly?

You feel incomplete.

I love you.

"I love you."

You're in love.

You are helpless and at a loss.

Girl, it's hard for you.

Huang Weiqiang, founder of Yixin.

In a live broadcast, co-founder Huang Qituan stated definitively:

"Intimate Relationships: Why is Love So Hard?"

In combination with my personal experience and as a psychology user, I can say with confidence that...

Give a good answer.

In an intimate relationship,

We must accept the person, but not their behavior.

It is the person's behavior that is wrong.

The person is not wrong.

We must adopt this attitude.

This is the attitude you should adopt: accept the person, but not the behavior.

Accept motives, abilities, emotions, and behavior.

You can't deny the person.

You may not accept it, but

You can't force others to do what you want.

Good or bad behavior is a myth.

Effectiveness is more important than reason.

In intimate relationships, there is no winner or loser. There is only a double win or a double loss.

If there's no conflict, there's no relationship.

Express your emotions, but don't let them control you.

A bad relationship has benefits.

There are benefits to being ill.

When we're sick, we rest and pay attention to our health.

You adjust your lifestyle to achieve the goal of good health.

You chose a relationship.

It fulfills your needs.

As you said,

Your boyfriend is two-faced in love.

You still like him very much.

And so the question is:

If there is a knife on the chair,

If the knife cuts you, don't blame the chair.

No, right?

The chair is not responsible for your injury.

You need to be more careful.

We must avoid getting hurt by a knife on a chair.

You need to see this problem, analyze it, and then take action.

You need to change yourself, and you won't get hurt.

A boyfriend in love is easily distracted.

This behavior has a motive.

From what you have described,

Your boyfriend is teaching you how to handle men.

He tells you what kind of woman men like.

A woman can become more and more indispensable to a man.

Girls should be coquettish all the time.

These behaviors have a motive behind them.

The boyfriend expects the girl to be gentler.

He needs her to act like a spoiled child.

If it cannot be satisfied,

And he did just that.

That's exactly what he did.

This is beneficial in any relationship.

You need to see the good in it.

Replace negative and inappropriate behavior with positive actions.

If your boyfriend is indecisive,

If it hasn't crossed the line,

If it's only flirting with words,

You still like him very much.

Have an in-depth conversation with your boyfriend along the above lines.

Love is a two-person dance.

Both partners must be equally strong to dance well.

Mutual adjustment is also required.

In love,

Affection and love are essential.

Good love requires wisdom and mutual nourishment.

A good intimate relationship heals.

A bad intimate relationship can also harm both parties.

Dear girl,

I am confident that my answer will enlighten you.

If it helps you, it will be a great relief to me.

I am certain you will find a good love.

Hello! I can see from your words that you feel helpless and confused about the way your relationship-for-four-years-broken-up-with-me-can-we-get-it-back-10262.html" target="_blank">boyfriend makes you feel like a man. I know this emotion has been bothering you for a while, and I can also feel that you have feelings for your boyfriend, which is why you want to resolve this matter! Be proactive for love: people who take the initiative to resolve problems are brave and powerful! I applaud you!

There are so many reasons why a boyfriend might say these things to you! I'm not sure which of the following applies...

#Possible reasons#

1. Boys and girls are born with different physical structures, and they also have different temperaments, family environments, and educations, which means they view things differently!

? 2. From the text, I can see your feelings for him, but what about his feelings for you?

Have you checked? What is the current state of your relationship? When there is more criticism, it could be a sign of a weakening relationship, but don't worry! You can fix it.

? What should I do?

If I were you, I would definitely consider how he felt when he told me this. ⛽️ If it wasn't good, I'd just tell him that comparing me to others hurts me...

? Second, after expressing and communicating, see if his reaction has changed!

If it has, then you're on the right track! If not, then you can consider the relationship a little.

? Finally, no matter what the outcome is, be aware! When I have this emotion, what is my emotion telling me?

What are my needs? And what can I do about my emotions?

Think about it: does he do these things to you, or to other people? I'm sure you'll find the answer!

A quality relationship is based on mutual respect and equality—and it can be yours!

You deserve a beautiful love! Believe in yourself!

I really hope this can help you a little bit!

? I and the world love you!

Hello, I'm Meng Xiaoxiao. Your words show confusion and bewilderment in your relationship with your boyfriend.

I'll try to understand you better.

You want to know why a woman has to put in so much effort when she's with someone. Your boyfriend's words show he's unhappy in the relationship.

He's basically telling you what to do in the relationship to make him happy. His way of expressing himself is confusing and makes you feel uncomfortable.

You don't want to listen to your boyfriend's advice. You feel disrespected.

It's like saying a woman flatters a man so he can't leave her. This makes communication counterproductive.

If you chose the Q&A platform to vent, I'm not sure if it helped.

If you still have questions about this relationship, you should see a counselor.

I hope this helps.

Hello, I'm Strawberry.

From your description, it's clear that both of you still have strong feelings for each other. You've been together for over seven years. Last year, you found out that he was flirting with other people online. He promised you that he would stop and gave you some gifts to prove his sincerity. You forgave him because you still care about him.

During a recent chat with him, I discovered that we seem to have different views on some ideas. My boyfriend and I discussed topics such as what kind of woman can control a man and what kind of woman men like. I was disgusted with my boyfriend discussing this topic because it was clear he was saying to me, "You need to change yourself to be like this, otherwise you won't be able to control me."

My boyfriend taught me how to handle men. I don't understand why he's saying this, but I know I don't agree.

The expectations of the two are different.

The questioner stated that she has been with her boyfriend for seven years, which is a long relationship. After so many years of getting along with each other, many couples feel that the other person is just going to spend the rest of their lives with them like this. This thought may arise before the relationship changes, and they are not even aware of it.

From the discussion between the questioner's boyfriend and the questioner, it's clear that the boyfriend has expectations of the questioner. He's hoping that through discussion, the questioner will realize that if she wants to maintain this relationship, she can probably attract him in this way. If the questioner is naturally like this, then of course she won't argue with her boyfriend. However, there's a gap between what she expects and what he expects, which makes her question why she should care about these strange things when she's with him.

This is where the expectations of the questioner and her boyfriend differ. The boyfriend wants the questioner to change according to his own ideas, while the questioner feels that the status quo is just fine. People's thoughts and views will change over time. The questioner can also ask herself, after so many years, does she still feel the same way about her boyfriend? We will all change, and so will our partners.

Change does not mean compromise.

In a relationship, if the current mode of getting along is wrong, it is crucial to maintain the relationship by gradually finding a suitable mode of getting along for both parties. While the questioner's boyfriend and the questioner are discussing, he is primarily expressing his current standards for choosing a spouse. The questioner did not provide further details about what the boyfriend said about what women should do to make men like them more and more, nor did he express that his emotions were completely unacceptable. This indicates that what the questioner's boyfriend said was not particularly excessive.

Everything has two sides, so I firmly believe that moderation can still enhance the relationship. For example, the boyfriend of the questioner said that some people who are not used to this behavior will feel very embarrassed because they are not used to this behavior. He also said that women who love to be spoiled are very lucky. This does not mean that we should always be spoiled. It depends on the occasion and the situation. Occasionally spoiling a man can make him feel dependent on his partner and also give him a sense of novelty. So sometimes changing doesn't mean compromising in a relationship.

We must decide whether we can bear with the same old routine.

A relationship cannot last without passion.

Let's solve the problem.

Maintain a sense of novelty. The thing you fear most when you are with someone is a lack of variety in your relationship. People's thoughts and perspectives always change with their environment and the people they meet. Even if someone is excellent, after seeing them for a long time, you may no longer find them attractive. Grow and improve together. This will allow the man to discover many different sides of you and maintain a sense of novelty.

The boyfriend was expressing his inner thoughts to the questioner, which is important to understand. We don't know if he meant to say that he couldn't control the other person, but that's how it came across. The questioner needs to listen to her boyfriend's needs. If she feels this is a difficult situation, she should respectfully tell him so.

Express love in your own way. Everyone expresses love differently. Some people prefer to express it directly in words, while others do it through actions. Love alone is not enough to ensure lasting happiness. It is easy to fall in love, but difficult to get along. Find a way to express your love that suits you.

American marriage expert Dr. Gary Chapman has gained the "five languages of love" through years of marriage counseling experience: words of affirmation, moments of intimacy, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. The questioner can learn these five languages of love with her boyfriend and find a more suitable way for the two of you to get along with each other. If you know how to properly manage your intimate relationship, you will achieve the happiness you want.

I am confident that my answer will be helpful to the questioner. Best wishes.

Good day. You inquire as to the meaning of your boyfriend's directive to "hold on to a man." You also express your confusion regarding the necessity of performing the unusual tasks you have been asked to do when you are together.

I appreciate your confusion. You've been together for seven years. Is a peaceful life not a worthwhile goal?

Psychological common sense indicates that love is a passion. Passionate feelings eventually subside.

Once the initial passion has diminished, it is essential to implement strategies to maintain the relationship.

The aforementioned methods of management are also the unusual techniques you have previously described.

It is important to note that men and women experience love differently. When a woman feels something for a man, it is more about security and stability than love at first sight.

It is important for men to experience a sense of their own power more often in their interactions with women. This is because, as the saying goes, most men have a hero complex.

It is important to ensure that your partner feels needed.

If you simply maintain a routine, there is no issue with leading a peaceful life. However, a man's passion can make him feel monotonous and boring. In such instances, he may require the inspiration of a woman to reinforce his masculinity.

What actions on the part of a woman can make a man feel more masculine? One of the most effective tools a woman has at her disposal is tears.

When a woman displays emotional vulnerability in front of a man, it signals to him that she is open to being protected, which in turn arouses his sense of masculinity. A woman's second weapon is coquetry.

A woman who is coquettish makes a man feel attractive and gives him a sense of importance. When a man feels important, it is also when he experiences his own value.

Your boyfriend is instructing you on how to interact with men, and he is indicating that you should be more feminine in your approach. This will enhance his masculine experience.

Furthermore, his willingness to be controlled by you indicates his appreciation for the relationship. He is open to guidance on how to handle you, which demonstrates his trust in you.

A man who is willing to be dominated by his partner is generally more reliable.

As a girlfriend, have you demonstrated your capacity for gentleness and delicacy at opportune moments, thereby fostering a sense of strength and responsibility in your boyfriend?

These are not unusual concepts, but they are common methods of relationship management. It is important to manage relationships with care.

It is not uncommon for relationships sustained by passion to change in character after the passion fades.

I hope this information is useful to you.

The boyfriend provides guidance on interpreting the signals a man gives off.

1. He is seeking a change in your behavior, specifically requesting that you become more coquettish, reliant, submissive, and accommodating to his male chauvinist vanity. It is imperative that you modify your interpersonal dynamics, demonstrate deference in certain situations, and respect his male self-esteem.

2. Address the issue directly. His needs are not being met, and he turns to online chat for immediate gratification, which indicates that the problem cannot be ignored and that both parties must communicate and adapt.

Furthermore, his communication style is ineffective. If you rephrase it to, "I would be very happy if you did this," it would be more constructive. Some of the methods you employ make me feel disrespected. Next time, we should... You may be more receptive. I hope the poster can use this communication technique.

The reasons for the host's lack of understanding are as follows:

1. First love. It is commonly understood that young love is pure and beautiful, and that each person is strongly attracted to the other. However, this attraction will gradually diminish over time. Any intimate relationship requires nurturing and maintenance. If initially your attraction to him was a full 10 points, then over the past seven years, every argument you have had has lowered this score.

2. Lack of vision for development. In an intimate business relationship, it is essential to make changes for the other person, understand their needs, and then find ways to satisfy them.

We are two independent entities that converge due to mutual respect and understanding. By aligning our goals and working together, we can achieve a balance between autonomy and collaboration. The host should consider modifying their approach to better align with these principles. Demonstrating care and consideration in managing a relationship is not a mere gesture; it is a strategic decision that yields tangible benefits.

It is important to recognize that no one stays in the same place forever. We all move forward with the tide of time, and this should also be reflected in our approach to relationships.

3. Being overly self-centered. From the landlord's statements, there is a perception of self-centeredness, questioning her boyfriend with a condescending tone about teaching her to handle men, rather than communicating as equals and reflecting on herself. This suggests that the woman may be more dominant in the relationship and provides context for the boyfriend's online flirting.

(This point may be somewhat one-sided. After all, there is insufficient information and no face-to-face meeting. I apologize if the expression makes the host feel uncomfortable.)

(This is just my impression of the one-sided information you have provided.)

The following advice is provided for your consideration:

It is important to communicate effectively in order to rekindle the excitement of your first relationship. It would be beneficial to ascertain what qualities he initially found attractive and to compare them to your current self. This will help you determine whether you are still the same person he fell in love with. (Please refer to the previous communication skills.)

2. Think independently. Observe and experience carefully, inquire about his current feelings, assess the veracity of the information, and determine whether he still holds the same affection for you. Evaluate whether the changes you have made for him are worthwhile.

3. Strike a balance between self-reliance and appropriate dependence. Distinguish between time and occasion. At home, you should address any shortcomings, be flexible to overcome resistance, and transform a challenging situation into a positive outcome.

4. Alter your perspective. Intimacy must be cultivated and sustained, not through artifices. Release your superior attitude. No individual can guarantee unwavering, unconditional love and support indefinitely. The other party also has needs that must be met.