My boyfriend treats me well and is very accommodating, but I always see his parents as imagined adversaries.

To the original poster, you're still the same person.

First of all, I want to congratulate you for noticing the conflict between you and for facing it head-on. This means that you will probably be able to successfully resolve the conflict and go even further.

From what you've said, it's clear that the questioner loves your boyfriend very much. But it's also obvious that they're very dependent on him and want to be with him all the time. I think the reason for this is that they lack confidence and trust in their own abilities. This then leads them to doubt the strength of their relationship.

The original poster wants to be the first priority in her boyfriend's eyes. I don't think that's impossible, but it's not necessary or desirable. Love shouldn't be a burden. What we enjoy is the process of us loving each other and the other person responding, not us...thinking of ways to uncover the other person's love for us.

It might be helpful to consider where our relationship with the other person is at, how strong it is, how much we love the other person, how much they love us, and whether the attitude of the other person's parents is really that important to the relationship between us. This could help us have fewer worries about our in-laws.

As individuals, we are independent and have our own dignity and freedom. We can support ourselves. We have our own unique qualities and don't need to depend on others to survive.

We depend on each other and cling to each other because we love each other and don't want to leave each other, not because we can't live without each other. So, when our dependence becomes a bit too much and makes the other person feel uncomfortable, it's only natural that we feel guilty for loving the other person.

We can also relax a little, trusting ourselves and the other person's feelings.

Hello! It's great that you feel so loved by your boyfriend. It's natural to want to protect the people we love, especially when we're facing challenges. It's understandable that you might unconsciously point the finger at his parents when things get tough. It's as if you're saying, "It's not my boyfriend's fault. It's his parents who want to take away his love for me." For example, you might feel that his parents are trying to take away his love for you by encouraging him to video chat with them instead of with you.

It's totally normal to feel a little bit of internal withdrawal when it comes to getting engaged. It's only natural to blame this on his parents. It's easy to think, "Because his parents don't like me, my hesitation is justified." But, you know what? That's just your own thinking.

As you mentioned, it's totally normal to feel scared when you have some "dark" thoughts. It's like there's a voice in your head telling you that they're not like that, and then there's another voice telling you that it's all their problem. Because of these thoughts, you may feel guilty towards your boyfriend from time to time, which can also create some distance between you.

Have a chat with your boyfriend about it. Let him know how you feel. Tell him you need his company, that you're worried his parents don't like you, that you're worried you're getting married too soon, and so on. When you can accept your boyfriend's flaws, just as you accept your own, you'll have taken a big step forward.

I really do wish you all the very best!

Hello!

The questioner is lucky to have met someone who is satisfactory, and now it's time to make the most of this good fortune! How can you build on this good luck and make your emotions more mature and lasting? Don't just grasp tightly, learn to relax and trust!

The questioner's love is expressed very directly, which is great because they like to rush together. They like it, they don't like to be shared, and they feel uncomfortable and unbearable when they feel something is wrong, which is a good thing!

Do you really need to torment yourself and indirectly others? Absolutely not!

Some people describe this type of person as "dare to love, dare to hate," while those who love with a steady stream of affection are described as "warm companions." But essentially, they are all together because they love each other. And isn't that wonderful? What makes them different?

First, it's about personality, and second, they know how to respect each other!

I'm straightforward and don't like to think too much, and my boyfriend loves and tolerates me, so I feel deeply loved. My boyfriend values his parents, which makes me feel that he is sharing his love and not putting me first. I'm eager to get married because I'm afraid of losing him. We've chosen to postpone our marriage because we're afraid that our personalities won't get along. This straightforwardness has omitted many of the stages of growth that need to be faced in a relationship, but it has also made me realize that I need to think deeply about things. If you don't think deeply about something, you will inevitably encounter problems that you have not thought about, and you will feel a sense of loss and deep disappointment and remorse. But if you do think deeply about things, you will be able to avoid these problems and feel a sense of loss and disappointment only when you've truly failed.

But if you make room for your personality to come to the fore every time you encounter a problem, you'll be able to see if there's anything you haven't considered yet. And you'll be able to deal with the problem without conflicting emotions! Because things are not perfect, but this kind of perfection is within the range of possibilities I have considered, we can often accept it gladly.

Next, the question encourages the main character to reflect on the rationality of his thoughts.

Is it reasonable for me to protest when my boyfriend talks to his parents because I feel like my love is being divided? How else would a good boyfriend fall from the sky? I'd love to know!

Absolutely! Parents are the ones that a boyfriend should be grateful to and respect. And if I love my boyfriend, I should definitely respect his parents together with him!

There are so many kinds of love! Parents love their children, lovers love each other, friends love each other, and people love flowers, plants, and pets. All of these are different kinds of love, but they are all equally wonderful! Filling a person's healthy life with this kind of different love gives the boyfriend the chance to experience a whole range of love, including the love of a parent. The boyfriend will feel the joy of this! Is this the kind of love the questioner is looking for?

And that means love can be rational love and selfish love!

Lovers who respect and cherish each other can live a truly wonderful, peaceful, and beautiful life!

How can I best handle my emotions and adjust my mentality?

"Seeing each other in real life and respecting each other" is a wonderful thing!

Spending every waking moment together is the ideal situation, but we need to understand objectively what "every waking moment together" means. Life is an amazing journey that requires us to take responsibility for our lives first, support ourselves, have an independent spirit, go to work, and manage our lives. While it would be incredible to spend every waking moment together, it's not always possible. That's why it's essential to learn to understand correctly, be realistic in our needs, not be harsh on our lovers, nor blame ourselves, respect each other's independent living space, and treat our lovers' lives correctly.

"Seeing the diversity and richness of life!"

Girls are born with less security than boys, which is a physical and psychological gap. But here's the good news: we can still fill our lives with abundance, rather than relying on our boyfriends to feel loved and secure. And here's another thing: compared to being in love, cultivating your own interests and expanding yourself can make you feel a sense of value and security.

The internet has opened up a whole new world of possibilities! It's now possible to explore all the amazing places, admire stunning scenery, and feel like you're reaching new heights. And the best part is, you can do it all from the comfort of your own home. Imagine having a rich and colorful lifestyle, filled with all the knowledge and skills you could ever want. You could learn how to paint, play music, or even become a technical whiz like a production expert. The possibilities are endless! But the best part is, you don't have to wait to start. You can start learning a new skill today, and feel the richness and energy of life in no time. You'll be amazed at how much more you understand about life when you broaden your perspective. So, go ahead and embrace the world of possibilities the internet has to offer. It's time to feel the love!

"Acquire knowledge and grow yourself!"

A thousand-mile journey begins with a single step! This is an unchanging philosophy. A passionate heart cannot withstand trials, but you can overcome them! When you see that your own opinions are wrong, you want to change. To do so, you need to acquire knowledge, read books, and listen to audiobooks. These are all ways to expand yourself. Without knowledge, you cannot understand the logic of life. The result is intolerance, but you can avoid it! However, human growth is necessary. You need to grow your cognitive abilities through the trials of life in order to better integrate into life.

Take your time!

I wish you all the happiness in the world!

Hello, question asker. I can sense from your writing that you have formed certain perceptions about the pattern of interaction between you and your boyfriend, and that you are worried that you might be rejected by others, which could affect your close relationship with your boyfriend. I will describe my point of view, and I hope that my answer will be enlightening to you.

From what you've shared, it seems there's a strong bond between you and your partner, but also a sense of concern about his close relationship with his parents.

It is understandable that feelings of jealousy can arise when we perceive that our relationship with someone else is under threat.

For instance, it is not uncommon to experience concern that a partner or friend may lose interest in us and form a closer relationship with someone else. Unlike envy, which can involve comparison, jealousy often stems from a perceived threat to a relationship.

From what we can gather, it seems that you may have acted out your feelings of jealousy towards your boyfriend's parents.

It might be helpful to remember that jealousy is a normal behavior. It is a normal emotion, like happiness, anger, sadness, and joy.

It might be helpful to view jealousy as more than just a feeling. It can also be a dominant factor that controls other people's emotions, feelings, thoughts, behaviors, choices, and decisions. Jealousy often arises from an obsessive pursuit of the truth because we have no way of knowing, and we often think the worst (although this may also be the truth).

It's natural to have a strong sense of curiosity and a desire for control. However, this can sometimes lead us to perceive fantasies and feelings as the reality we fear. It's important to recognize that this may not be the truth.

And you mentioned that you have formed certain ideas about how his parents might feel about you, as well as their stance on bride price and the engagement. It's possible that these ideas may not be entirely accurate, but it's understandable that they're on your mind.

Now that you have gained some insight into the nature of your feelings, I would like to suggest a few points that might help you resolve this situation and avoid similar issues in the future.

When we are in the mode of jealousy, our thoughts and feelings can become somewhat mixed up, like being caught in a tornado. We may feel scared, angry, confused, and in pain, completely caught up in a whirlpool of negative emotions.

It might be helpful to try not to try to get rid of jealousy. If you can live with it as long as it doesn't take control, you might find it easier to just let it be. It can be helpful to think of jealousy as an alarm.

It may be helpful to communicate with your boyfriend in a positive way while allowing the jealousy to exist. Communication can promote the flow of relationships and allow love to flow between you and him in your words.

Secondly, when you notice that you are feeling jealous, you might like to try allowing the jealousy to exist in the background and focusing on doing what you want to do in the moment, avoiding daydreaming about things that don't exist.

If you're still struggling to cope, you might find it helpful to try breathing deeply and using abdominal breathing to calm your emotions.

I wish you the best!

I hope the world and I can show you our love.

My name is Gu Yi, and I am characterized by modesty and consistency.

From your description, it is evident that you are dependent on your boyfriend and that you are concerned about being divided between the two of you. In light of these concerns, I offer the following advice.

I have been acquainted with my romantic partner for six months, during which time he has consistently demonstrated care and consideration for me. Our relationship has been perceived as a positive match by those around us. However, during video calls with his parents, I have noticed a pattern of me deliberately calling to interrupt the call and engage in conversation with him.

The ideal romantic partner should be a mature individual who is capable of understanding and supporting one's emotional needs. When a person meets such a partner, their friends often perceive them as having found the ideal romantic match. This can lead to feelings of joy and a fear of change. Consequently, the individual may begin to view the partner's parents as adversaries.

Those who are overly attached to a situation or relationship are more likely to experience a sense of loss when it ends.

It is challenging to encounter an individual who can treat you with respect at an appropriate age. When you meet someone who exhibits these qualities, it is important to recognize your own apprehension about losing them and to acknowledge the desire to maintain a close connection. However, it is crucial to exercise caution to prevent the situation from becoming overly intense. Therefore, it is advisable to prioritize spending quality time with your partner's parents. Addressing and resolving potential differences in personality can be a continuous process for both families, and it is essential to strive for mutual understanding and respect.

2. Relationship with Parents

It is an inescapable fact that parents are the source of one's existence, and thus it is only natural to feel emotionally dependent on them. This phenomenon also serves to illustrate the diverse qualities of men from an alternative perspective. It is not uncommon for individuals in romantic relationships to accept their partners' affection and to experience a concomitant fear of losing it, given that their level of care is typically quite high and their sense of security is often low.

It is important to recognize that parents will always love their children, as children represent a lifelong achievement and emotional support for parents. This concept may not be fully comprehended until one becomes a parent oneself. Therefore, it is essential to treat the other person's parents with the same respect and acceptance one would extend to one's own parents, demonstrating tolerance and integration.

Such an approach will result in an increase in positive affect.

However, upon reaching the point of engagement, I once again withdrew, perceiving a lack of compatibility between our personalities and apprehending potential ridicule for entering into matrimony after a mere six months. Recently, we have engaged in frequent debates regarding engagement, frequently speculating about his parents' sentiments, perceiving a lack of approval, and expressing concerns about the bride price. Additionally, we have resorted to verbal abuse directed at him.

It is not uncommon for girls to experience a range of emotions when confronted with this situation, particularly given its significance in the life cycle. The convergence of diverse sentiments, including excitement and anxiety, can contribute to emotional instability. It is therefore advisable to engage in discourse with one's partner to navigate this phase successfully.

In the future, there will be a greater number of individuals to be integrated into our lives, and the roles of our "imaginary enemies" may also become more complex. It is therefore important to develop a nuanced understanding of this relationship and to recognise that the world is not always as hostile as we perceive it to be.

I extend my best wishes to you.

Greetings! I extend a warm embrace from a distance.

Furthermore, it is commendable that you are conscious of the apparent inconsistencies in your behavioural patterns within the relationship, as this demonstrates a fundamental understanding of the situation. Awareness is the initial step towards initiating positive change.

From your description, it is evident that you lack confidence in yourself, exhibit a desperate desire to be valued and cared for, and harbor the hope that you can become the primary object of your boyfriend's affections. You appear to desire for him to always keep you in his heart and for you to occupy the most important position in his heart, so that you can say that he only has you in his heart.

This is, of course, an impossibility. Given your awareness of this aspect, you hesitated and declined when your family members agreed to your marriage, recognizing the difficulty in meeting your own needs and expectations. This is a challenge that requires personal growth and introspection, and external support may be limited in its ability to provide the necessary guidance.

Indeed, this seems to be the case.

If one's romantic partner is perceived as failing to meet certain needs, it may be because those needs have not been adequately addressed, or because the individual has not yet developed the capacity to respond to those needs in a constructive manner.

It is therefore important to allow and accept your own needs in an intimate relationship to be highly valued, cared for, and loved. This should then be conveyed to your boyfriend, who should be made aware of your true feelings. In other words, when he puts everything else to one side to fully accompany and take care of you, your needs are met. It is also important to express your feelings of guilt and shame, as well as your desire to be the number one in his life. This should be done sincerely, as you need his support and help to heal and grow yourself in this area.

Subsequently, it is advisable to engage in further discourse with your partner regarding your upbringing, particularly with regard to your family of origin. This will facilitate a deeper understanding of your background and enhance mutual trust and respect. When your partner feels a sense of security and importance, they will be more inclined to provide support and guidance as you navigate past challenges and heal emotional wounds.

It is imperative to maintain the conviction that one is deserving of affection and possesses the capacity to oversee the course of one's own nuptial union, contingent upon one's willingness to do so. The capacity to cultivate oneself and enhance one's aptitude for love can be achieved through active learning.

It is this author's recommendation that the reader peruse the book entitled "We Have All Been Hurt, But We Have a Better Life."

My name is Lily, and I am a regular listener of the Q&A Pavilion. I have a profound appreciation for the world and for the people in it.

It's so sad to see how many of us have been affected by the various warring mother-in-law and daughter-in-law dramas and melodramas we see on TV. These two words have become so deeply rooted in our hearts that many of us associate negative things with them. The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are originally one family, but they are described as being like fire and water.

This is a really unusual social phenomenon. It's possible that there are some cases in our society where the relationship between the two parties is very rigid and the conflicts between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are very intense. But even if that's the case, the father-in-law and your own husband can actually step forward to reconcile.

Your boyfriend has been so good and patient with you, which is wonderful! It's great that you're living a happy life together. There's really nothing to worry about. It's possible that you're still feeling a little anxious, though.

It's totally normal to feel confused and restless when you're trying to build a good relationship with your mother-in-law and a positive future. Some of your impulsive behavior might be making people feel your inner dissatisfaction, which is totally understandable. Have you noticed any restlessness in your heart?

It's totally normal to feel worried that you and your mother-in-law haven't settled in yet and that you've said some things that weren't very nice. These are all things that require an apology. It's so important to truly face your life and let yourself know what you have. I highly recommend that you seek the necessary psychological counseling, and you can also use the platform's "Meditation Planet" program to meditate and train to cool down your anger, while also allowing yourself to find a balance in your future life.

ZQ?