My boyfriend's grandmother has suddenly been hospitalized. Our first anniversary is in a few days. What should we do?

Hello!

He knows you care about the relationship and don't want to miss any days with him.

Your boyfriend's grandmother is ill. You're worried about him and don't know what to do.

Talk to you.

You may expect your boyfriend to take care of your grandmother while also remembering your anniversary and birthday. This shows he cares about your relationship. Even if he doesn't remember everything, you'll still be happy.

♥ The real situation: (1) Your boyfriend is sad and upset because Grandma is ill, and he forgets your anniversary. (2) He calls to say sorry and that he can't spend time with you.

In either case, you may have to accept and understand. Think about which is more important. If it were you, you would also put Grandma first, take care of her, and keep her company.

You can also take time out on these two days to spend with your grandmother. This will make your boyfriend value your relationship more.

I hope I understand the question.

Hello!

From what you said, I can tell you're confused and worried. You're also brave for coming here and sharing your feelings.

Your boyfriend's grandmother is in the hospital with suspected stomach cancer. In a few days, it will be your birthday and the first anniversary of your meeting. You don't know what to do. You hope he will remember this day and celebrate it with you.

I understand how you feel. It's normal to want to spend the anniversary with your boyfriend and to receive birthday wishes from him. But your boyfriend's grandmother is sick, with stomach cancer, and he may be busy. At this time, I have a few suggestions that I hope will help you.

You want to celebrate your birthday with your boyfriend, but we have to consider your boyfriend's situation. Don't worry or think too much because it hasn't happened yet. Your boyfriend's grandmother might take care of him when he calms down. So, keep a level head and do what you should do. Thinking too much won't help.

If you want to talk to your boyfriend about this or celebrate with him, watch his schedule and talk to him when he's relaxed. You can also tell him he's panicked and at a loss. We can express our feelings without emotions and say we know you have to take care of grandma. If you can, spend more time with me. When you're with me, I can comfort you. You can communicate with your boyfriend this way.

My advice is to not have expectations, even if my boyfriend is confused. We should talk to him calmly because he has a lot going on. The most important thing is to take care of our emotions. Xu Dong, your boyfriend will remember once his grandmother is discharged from the hospital.

Dear Sir/Madam, I am pleased to be able to respond to your query and hope that my suggestions will be of assistance.

We can certainly respond positively to him and express our gratitude for his love and consideration. We understand your ambivalence. You want to be considerate of your boyfriend, but you also feel that this is a relatively special stage in your relationship. We are currently in the honeymoon period, and it is both the anniversary and the birthday.

The advice provided is based on my personal views and should be considered in light of your own personality and emotional relationship.

In my view, all aspects of life are inconsequential, including birthdays, anniversaries, and other holidays. This is because the most significant matters are already addressed in the context of life and death.

In this world, everything can be postponed. Even the college entrance exam. We will say that there are more important things than the college entrance exam. However, for birth, aging, sickness, and death, we will never suggest that these things are not important and that you can put them off until next year. This is because for these things, there is no such thing as postponement.

In light of the circumstances, it is imperative that we extend consideration to our partner and provide him with sufficient space to prioritize the time he spends with individuals who hold significance in his life. For the elderly, particularly in the context of illnesses such as cancer, each day spent with them represents a day less. While we may not be able to celebrate our anniversary or birthday this year, we can anticipate doing so in the following years. The day will retain its significance and importance, and our partner will have the opportunity to commemorate it with us.

However, the situation is different for the elderly or those who are seriously ill. There is no guarantee that they will survive the year. For them, time is the most precious and most cherished thing.

Furthermore, if the elderly person does not survive, it would be inadvisable to resume celebrating anniversaries and birthdays with your boyfriend.

It is important to allow time for this matter to be digested. It is not feasible to immediately devote oneself to another happy event after the departure of a loved one. If the boyfriend takes the initiative to demonstrate his understanding of the situation and his ability to make up for the anniversary or birthday, a positive response is recommended, along with an expression of gratitude for his gesture.

In the event that the other party is unable to demonstrate the requisite level of appreciation, we have the option of proceeding with the planned activities as usual. Alternatively, we can opt to spend the birthday with our family or close friends and make up for the anniversary at the next available opportunity, which could be the Chinese Valentine's Day, Christmas, or another holiday.

I hope that by engaging in self-reflection, you will be able to identify an appropriate course of action.

Please accept my warmest wishes for your upcoming anniversary and birthday. I hope you will enjoy the company of your loved one on this special occasion and in the years to come.

I would like to extend my warmest regards to you and express my admiration for your contributions to our organization.

Hello, I'm Gu Daoxi Fengshou Slender Donkey, your Heart Exploration coach!

As a woman, I totally get why the questioner is looking for a sense of ritual. The first anniversary is still in the honeymoon period, and the questioner is hoping her boyfriend will give her a sense of ritual. It's totally understandable!

I can tell that the questioner is a thoughtful and kind person. I'm curious, though, about the relationship between the questioner's boyfriend and her own grandmother. If they have a close bond, it's understandable that the boyfriend might be feeling sad and therefore not fully present for the questioner. But that doesn't mean the questioner needs to be sad, too!

Life is long, and you have so much time to make up for your regrets in the present! But if your boyfriend's grandmother is really diagnosed with cancer, it may be difficult to accompany her for a long time. The questioner may also not want their boyfriend to leave a knot in their heart for the rest of their lives in order to give them a sense of ceremony, which will become a thorn in your intimate relationship.

The questioner might want to clear up some thoughts, which is a great idea!

Is the boyfriend of the questioner a person who values loyalty? Sometimes, valuing loyalty is a great thing! But at other times, it may not bring a pleasant experience. If the boyfriend really doesn't care about the questioner's birthday, will the questioner worry that this person is too cold-hearted and will let her down in the future?

This incident is a great chance to see how important the questioner is to the other person and to see how well the other person treats loved ones facing a major illness.

What is your boyfriend usually like to you? If he is usually very nice, and he just forgot your birthday or anniversary because of the current special circumstances, you probably don't need to worry too much. A sense of ritual in an intimate relationship is actually the icing on the cake, while daily care is the most essential. If you only give a sense of ritual and your attitude is sometimes cold and sometimes warm, that may be more worrying.

Think from the other person's perspective. If you are unhappy about something, you would prefer it if the other person understood you, wouldn't you? That's why you need to hold it together and explain things to the other person. This might help the questioner to reduce their disappointment in their boyfriend. Putting ourselves in other people's shoes will make us more tolerant.

The boyfriend didn't mention the anniversary or birthday, but I'm sure the questioner and her boyfriend have spent many other special days together over the past year! Think of all the holidays they've celebrated: Valentine's Day, Mid-Autumn Festival, Christmas, New Year's Day, Chinese New Year, and more! How did you celebrate those past holidays?

Oh, I'm so excited to see how the questioner will respond to her boyfriend's lack of response on special occasions based on his past behavior!

If the questioner is feeling particularly blue, but the other person brushes off their feelings, will the questioner feel like the other person is being a bit thoughtless? The questioner could try to give their boyfriend some emotional support at special times to cheer him up!

When we look at people, we're actually seeing the lowest point of human nature. But when we face each other's difficult times together and get through the hardest days together, I believe that everything else will go smoothly! The question asker should try to trust him.

As the saying goes, "love the house and its crows," the questioner might try doing something to show their care for his grandmother, so that he can feel the questioner's intentions. I absolutely believe that if you get through the current difficulties, you will get along better and better!

Give yourself a sense of ritual! While loving the other person, love yourself too! Politely tell him you have something to do one day and can't accompany him, so he can properly accompany his grandmother. You'll be doing yourself and him a favor!

I highly recommend reading "The Power of Empathy" and "A Change of Heart"!

Wishing you the very best!

Hello, Coach Yu here. Let's talk about this topic.

Emotional perception is how we recognize, control, and regulate our emotions.

In "The Plastic Me," Chen Jiejun writes that many people can't deal with things because they confuse feelings, emotions, and thoughts.

Feelings are the body's response to external things.

For example, pain and cold are feelings. They come from the environment and from inside us.

Emotions are how people react to feelings.

For example, when it's hot, you sweat and your heart beats faster. This is an emotion. Emotions and feelings usually happen in the body's peripheral nervous system.

Thoughts are how we understand and interpret our feelings.

Thoughts don't come from the peripheral nervous system. They come from the central nervous system.

My boyfriend's grandmother was hospitalized. It's our first anniversary in a few days, but he hasn't mentioned it. It's also my birthday in a week. How should I handle this?

We will look at this again to understand my boyfriend's emotions and manage my own.

I want to support my boyfriend and care for him when I learned that his grandmother was in the hospital.

We can ask ourselves what's wrong with my boyfriend. Is it his business, or is it something between us?

What do I feel when my boyfriend doesn't message me on my anniversary? What do I feel when I think about my birthday?

How can he forget that? Does he not care?

Ask yourself what you appreciate about your boyfriend and what he appreciates about himself.

Have these factors changed? What would I do if a family member fell ill?

What would I like my lover to do?

Feelings, emotions, and thoughts are a coordination between the nervous system and the brain. A smooth relationship brings inner peace.

We can be aware of our emotions, try to calm them, and when we feel tense, take a deep breath and watch the emotions come and go. You can also record what you are feeling.

Write about your feelings. This helps us understand our emotions and the problem.

We can talk to our boyfriend about our feelings. We can tell him to take care of Grandma and ask for help if he needs it. We can also remind him to take care of his health. We can tell him we love him and that we're excited for our first anniversary. Good communication can help you feel better and understand each other better.

If this bothers you, it's not easy to overcome it. Find someone you trust to talk to. If you need help, find a counselor.

We should always try to improve ourselves and understand ourselves better. We should also be open and honest with each other. This is important for any close relationship.

Recommended book: The Plastic Me.

Hello, dear questioner! I'm Jia Ao, your Heart Exploration coach. I'm here to help in any way I can.

I just wanted to say that I've read through all of your messages and I'm here to help in any way I can. It seems like you've been going through a lot recently, with your boyfriend's grandmother being hospitalized and your first anniversary coming up. I know it can be tough to navigate these situations, especially when there are so many emotions involved. I'm here to listen and offer advice if you'd like.

It's totally understandable that your boyfriend is in a bad mood right now. After all, his grandmother is sick and in the hospital. It just goes to show how much he cares about her and how strong their bond is. As for your relationship, that's something only you and he can decide. If he hasn't mentioned it, it could be because he's already prepared or because he hasn't had a chance to discuss it with you yet. But you can ask him when the time is right. Of course, you should let him take care of his grandmother's affairs first and remember to consider his current mood and feelings. There's still a lot of time between you, so try not to worry too much.

Let me help you take a deep breath and sort things out, my friend.

1. Try to stay calm and don't let your emotions get the better of you.

It's totally understandable that you're not sure how to ask. And it's so great that you want to comfort him! You're such a kindhearted person. Try to stay calm. If you have time, you could also go over and spend more time with the elderly. This way, you can see each other and try to take care of your grandmother. Actions speak louder than words. No matter what happens to his grandmother in the future, he'll be grateful for your company and your efforts. If he cares about you, he'll not ignore your feelings.

2. Take a deep breath and stop your own rambling thoughts.

Instead of dwelling on your own thoughts, do what you can to help him. Be there for him and take care of his grandmother. Of course, if you're close to the situation, you'll want your boyfriend's grandmother to recover soon. Try to understand his current mood and you'll know what to do next.

3. Be sure to communicate and interact more!

This is a great time to communicate and interact more with your boyfriend. You can also buy things for your grandmother, visit her in the hospital more often, and express your care and greetings more often. This is the most important thing you should do right now. I'm sure your boyfriend will be very grateful to see this. After all, this is a difficult time for him too. Your ability to understand, empathize with, and support him really means more than anything else.

4. Listen to your heart.

It's so important to be true to yourself, especially in front of your boyfriend. You have a right to voice your thoughts and suggestions, so don't keep them bottled up! It's so important to listen to your heart. Try not to bring up the topic of your grandmother's illness, but after you've taken care of her, you can casually ask about his plans and intentions. It's so important to handle your relationship well and avoid misunderstandings. This is more important than anything else! When things come up, communicate and discuss them. If you really can't do it, you can also choose to understand and sympathize with him. You can trust that he definitely didn't do it on purpose.

I really hope my answer helps you! If you need to chat some more, you can just follow me (click on my personal homepage), choose the Heart Exploration service, and we can have a little one-on-one chat. I love you all so much, and I'm here for you!

Dear Sir/Madam, I hope this message finds you well. I am contacting you regarding the upcoming anniversary. I understand that your boyfriend's grandmother is unwell, which may affect his ability to

It appears that you are anticipating the anniversary and your birthday, but given the circumstances with your boyfriend's grandmother, it is possible that he may not be in the right frame of mind to celebrate. Additionally, your actions may be perceived as inconsiderate and lacking understanding of the challenges associated with having a sick family member.

Grandma is unwell, and your boyfriend is likely to be concerned and distressed, and may have overlooked your feelings.

However, this is also the time when his loved ones are in the most danger, and he will be very vulnerable. He may also be under a lot of pressure. If you can communicate with him, he will undoubtedly feel a deeper sense of reliance on you, which will strengthen your relationship even more than celebrating an anniversary.

It appears that you value a sense of ritual.

It is my hope that there is a sense of ritual associated with anniversaries and birthdays.

If he recalls the occasion, that is to be welcomed. If not, there is no cause for concern.

As an alternative, you could simplify this commemoration, for example by kissing or saying "This year we've been together for one year."

This is, in fact, a commemoration.

From his perspective, her happiness may be perceived as a betrayal of her grandmother, as though she were attempting to evade the pain by sharing it with her.

If you appear overly happy, it may convey a lack of sincerity. Consequently, if you request a specific action from him at this time, even if he fulfills it, it may not be perceived as genuine. Additionally, he may become distracted or even resentful.

In the event that your partner fails to recall your birthday, you may wish to purchase a cake and make a wish. Alternatively, you may choose to celebrate with friends.

Should you wish to express your regards to your boyfriend's grandmother on his birthday, you may wish to consider making one of your own wishes come true and wishing her a speedy recovery.

I am confident that your presence and understanding will be greatly appreciated by your boyfriend.

Dealing with your anniversary-is-in-a-few-days-what-should-we-do-16440.html" target="_blank">boyfriend's grandmother's sudden hospitalization, as well as the upcoming first anniversary and your own birthday, will require careful consideration and empathy. Here are some suggestions to help you handle these important dates during this sensitive period:

1. Prioritize health. Your boyfriend's grandmother's health is the most important thing. You may need to reconsider how you celebrate your first anniversary and birthday to suit the current situation.

2. Communication and understanding: Openly and honestly communicate with your boyfriend. Find out how he is feeling and what he is thinking, and let him know how you would like to spend this period of time.

Show your understanding and support by letting him know that you are willing to adjust your plans to suit his needs and emotions.

3. Be flexible about how you celebrate. Adjust how you celebrate your first anniversary. Have a simple but intimate celebration at home, or postpone the celebration until the situation stabilizes.

4. Focus on emotional support. Your boyfriend may need more than just a celebration. He may need emotional support and companionship. Give it to him. Listen, comfort, and encourage. These are more valuable than material celebrations.

5. Respect his feelings. If your boyfriend hasn't mentioned the first anniversary, it's probably because he's focusing on the family and Grandma's health. Don't add pressure by celebrating.

6. Celebrate your birthday with friends and family, or have a small celebration with your boyfriend that suits you both.

7. Stay optimistic. You can get through this. Stay positive.

8. Record the good times. You can still celebrate this special period even if you can't do it on a large scale. Write letters, take photos, or use other means to record the good times.

9. Plan a future celebration. If now isn't the right time, plan something special with your boyfriend, like a trip or a date.

10. Stay grateful. Even if things don't go as planned, remember to be grateful for everything you have, including each other's love and support.

During this difficult time, you must remain empathetic, understand how your boyfriend is feeling, and provide emotional support. By communicating and flexibly adjusting plans, you can work through this challenge together and make your relationship stronger.

Dear Sir/Madam, I am honoured to be able to answer your question and hope that my sharing can bring you some help and support.

It would be helpful to express sympathy and understanding in this situation. It's possible that your boyfriend is experiencing a great deal of emotional stress and a sense of family responsibility, which might explain why he didn't mention the anniversary or your birthday.

It would be beneficial to demonstrate your concern and support for him and his family at this time.

We hope the following suggestions will be helpful in handling the situation:

1. Show concern: First, you might consider gently asking about his grandmother's condition and how he and his family are feeling. It might be helpful to let him know you are there for him during this difficult time.

2. Communicate feelings: When the time is right, you might consider sharing your feelings with him and letting him know that you understand that the current situation may be distracting, but you also hope that you can celebrate these special days together.

3. Be flexible: You might want to consider adjusting your celebration plans in light of his grandmother's health. Perhaps you could choose a simpler, more low-key way to celebrate your first anniversary and your birthday.

4. Offer to help: If it is feasible for you to do so, you might consider offering to help him with things like accompanying him to the hospital or assisting with daily tasks to provide some support.

5. Understanding and patience: In this situation, it might be helpful to try to understand and be patient with your boyfriend's situation. It's possible that he may not be able to pay you enough attention due to family emergencies.

6. Realism: While anniversaries and birthdays are important, they may need to take a back seat when faced with a health crisis in the family.

7. Consider facing this challenging period together as a couple. This experience may also have the potential to strengthen your relationship.

It is important to remember that everyone reacts differently to stress and difficulties. It may be helpful to maintain open communication, mutual understanding, and support. At this time, your relationship and personal needs may need to temporarily give way to more pressing family health issues.

If you put your minds to it, you can get through this difficult time together.

Please note that this is for reference only. We wish you the best of luck!

Hello, I'm Qiuqiu, the listener, and I'm grateful for the chance to address your question.

From your question, it seems that you care deeply about your relationship with your boyfriend and value the importance of rituals in life. Your first anniversary with your boyfriend and your birthday are fast approaching, but your boyfriend's grandmother is unwell, and you would like to celebrate with your boyfriend, but he has not yet mentioned it, which is causing you some concern.

Perhaps we could consider the situation from the perspective of the four roles.

1. Your own position. You would like to have a sense of ceremony for anniversaries and birthdays. In addition, you can ask yourself what a sense of ceremony means to you.

Perhaps what you really want is your boyfriend's care and concern for you, and a long-lasting relationship between the two of you.

Perhaps we could consider how these could be obtained in addition to through a sense of ritual?

2. Your boyfriend's position: If you were in his shoes, how would you view your relationship now?

Or perhaps you might be thinking, "I love my girlfriend very much and I really want to spend time with her, but my grandmother needs my company more right now. I'll make up for it by celebrating anniversaries and birthdays with her when she recovers. I'm sure my girlfriend will understand." If this was his thinking, would you understand him?

Could I ask you to consider whether you would be willing to understand his point of view?

3. The position of a bystander: If your best friend were to come to you for help with the same problem, how would you advise her to proceed?

If you were to take a step back and view this from an external perspective, what would you say to yourself? What advice would you offer yourself?

4. Where might you be in the future? Now, if we could take a moment to look ahead, say five years, to the present situation, what would you say to your boyfriend?

What decision might you make? What would you say to your current self?

I hope you find these different perspectives helpful. Finally, I want to remind you that love is not the only thing in life, and as adults, we have many responsibilities.

I believe that following our hearts is the best way to live a better life now and avoid regret in the future.

I wish you the best of luck.

Hello, I'm Strawberry.

When two people choose to be together, they must consider each other's needs and perspectives. Mutual tolerance and understanding are essential for experiencing the care, respect, and warmth of their love for each other.

The real situation presents some problems.

In a few days, it will be the first anniversary of the questioner and her boyfriend being together, and a few more days after that will be the questioner's birthday. It is normal for a romantic partner to want to spend an anniversary with a sense of ceremony, and for them to already be secretly preparing a surprise for their significant other.

If the questioner's boyfriend is not the romantic type and doesn't care about anniversaries, he'll be disappointed no matter what.

Furthermore, the questioner's boyfriend's grandmother has recently been hospitalized, and her condition may be relatively serious. Given these circumstances, it is likely that the boyfriend will not have the time or energy to celebrate.

Consider the situation and its importance.

Some people say the grandmother is important, the questioner is important, and the boyfriend must take care of both. They're wrong. Human energy is limited. The grandmother is the one who is sick. If it were a relative of the boyfriend who was sick, the questioner and boyfriend celebrating the anniversary would not be criticized. They would not be morally blackmailed by others.

If the questioner and her boyfriend still focus on celebrating the anniversary when her grandmother is not feeling well, then she needs to think carefully about whether such a boyfriend is the one she wants. If at this time she also focuses on the sense of ceremony, it will undoubtedly give her boyfriend and his family a bad impression.

Consider the reality of the situation.

What is the best way to handle this situation?

When two people choose to be together, they must choose to face and deal with relationship problems together. There is no better way to handle problems than to work together to find a suitable solution.

☀️ Direct communication: When it comes to meaningful anniversaries, the questioner wants her boyfriend to show his appreciation. She needs to know his thoughts to know what she should do.

The questioner and her boyfriend are lovers, and she understands his worries about his family member's illness. She can communicate directly with her boyfriend and ask for his thoughts. If he expresses that he feels difficult at this time, she can show understanding. They can have a sense of ritual every day as long as they love each other.

☀️Put yourself in the other person's shoes. People pursue different things, and everyone uses different methods to protect their relationships. Some people pursue romantic gestures, while others pursue practical actions. If the gap between what you want and what you're getting is too large and you cannot find a mutually acceptable level, it will affect the relationship.

You can understand the questioner's pursuit of a representative anniversary by facing the sense of ritual you want. If the result after communication is not what you want, the questioner should not be affected by their mood. They should put themselves in their boyfriend's shoes and think about his current mood and situation.

You can also celebrate in a more appropriate and low-key way. Don't wait for your partner to prepare a ceremony for you. Take the initiative and choose a nice place to celebrate by having a meal together. Show your boyfriend more care, understanding, and tolerance. Let him feel the love and care you give him at this moment. This will keep your relationship stable or warm it up.

Every relationship has its own pattern of getting along with each other. During the process of getting used to each other, you must find the right and suitable pattern of getting along with each other. Otherwise, it will affect the relationship.

Communication is the bridge that builds relationships. When you encounter problems in a relationship and cannot solve them yourself, you must learn to express yourself and communicate. This will make your partner, who has been ignoring the problem, see it too.

It is important to express your thoughts more often so you can understand each other better. Expressing your true thoughts is not about making your partner accommodate you; it is about considering the situation based on reality. Expressing yourself allows your partner to see your true needs.

I am confident that my answer will be helpful to the questioner. Best regards.

Dear question asker, I can perceive the confusion you are experiencing, and I extend my support to you.

It is not unusual for the subject to remain silent on the matter.

Currently, his attention is focused on his grandmother's illness.

My circumstances are analogous to yours, although I am married.

My husband's 50th birthday, which was to be a significant event, was overshadowed by the hospitalization of his brother, who was diagnosed with a pancreatic tumor, and the absence of his father-in-law, who was visibly distressed.

I did not, however, mention this in the family group chat.

However, I did procure a low-sugar cake for my husband to mark the occasion.

He expressed great satisfaction when he cut the cake.

In light of these circumstances, it would be advisable for you to visit the hospital more frequently to see your boyfriend's grandmother.

It would be advisable to present yourself in a favourable light to the grandmother.

Subsequently, when your grandmother retires for the evening, you may wish to make a brief mention of the matter to your partner. The following week marks the anniversary of your first meeting.

In the event that this does not prove effective, it would be advisable to send your boyfriend a message on the first anniversary.

Subsequently, it would be advisable to purchase a modest cake to mark the occasion.

It is my sincere hope that the issue you are currently experiencing can be resolved in the near future.

At this juncture, my thoughts are solely directed towards the aforementioned subject matter.

It is my sincere hope that my above answer will prove both helpful and inspiring to you, the questioner. As the answerer, I endeavor to provide thoughtful and well-researched responses on a daily basis.

Best wishes from Yixinli!

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