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By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024
Dear Sir/Madam, I am pleased to be able to respond to your query. I hope that my suggestions will be of assistance to you. Kind regards,
From your description, I understand that you are experiencing some confusion. Some of your partner's past experiences have caused you discomfort.
First, we must align our views on partner selection and love, particularly our definitions of intimate behavior.
In this section, we can also consider an additional question: whether you have any objections to your partner having had such an experience, or whether you have any objections to your partner having such an experience after being with you, for example, cuckolding you. However, if it is about some of your partner's past romantic experiences, then you have no objections.
It is important to distinguish between these two feelings.
One is akin to the virgin complex or emotional cleanliness, whereby the individual hopes that their partner will remain faithful to them from the outset.
It is also important to note that, provided there is no cuckolding or cheating involved, it is possible to accept a partner's previous relationships.
The next step is to evaluate the love process, including the circumstances of our initial encounter, and determine whether our partner has disclosed past romantic experiences or if we have initiated the conversation.
It is important to ascertain whether our partner is being untruthful with us.
For example, we have recently become aware that certain intimate behaviors exhibited by our partner in previous relationships are unacceptable to us. However, we have never discussed this topic with her from the time we first met until the present. Our partner is unaware that we have an issue with this, which means that there has been no deception on this matter.
There may be an alternative explanation. She may have provided a single answer, which did not align with the facts, indicating that there was cheating.
It is essential to ascertain the objective facts and our personal views on infidelity. Do we maintain a zero-tolerance policy towards such behaviors in our partner, or can we differentiate between situations and respond accordingly?
Once the aforementioned steps have been completed, we can proceed to the next stage, which is to resolve the issue at hand.
The issue that requires resolution is that we are married to two individuals.
One option is to accept our partner and maintain a romantic relationship with them.
This section addresses the importance of maintaining physical health for both parties. If concerns arise, it is recommended to schedule a medical examination and take necessary precautions during future intimate activities. This encompasses protection against infectious diseases and contraception, among other measures.
In the event that acceptance of the aforementioned behavior on the part of the partner is unfeasible, it is necessary to express personal views, effect a clean break, and address the relationship.
I hope that through self-reflection, you will be able to identify an approach that is more aligned with your needs.
I extend my warmest regards to you and the world.
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Comments
I can understand how devastating this must feel. It's important to consider what you value in a relationship and whether those values have been respected. Perhaps talking openly about your feelings, her motivations, and both of your expectations for the future could help clarify if there's a way forward.
This situation must be incredibly hard for you. Trust is such a crucial part of any relationship. You might want to think about seeking professional advice, like counseling, which can provide support as you decide on the best path for yourself.
Feeling lost in this scenario is completely understandable. It's essential to take time for yourself to process everything. Reflecting on what you want from a relationship and deciding if it's possible to rebuild trust might guide you toward making a choice that's best for your wellbeing.