My head hurts and I'm very disturbed. The year is almost over, what am I going to do next year?

Hello. I can feel your anxiety and helplessness through the words. I know you are under immense pressure in real life! You are hardworking and motivated. From your perspective, we will take our time. Haste makes waste.

Your distraction caused a headache, and the headache made it worse. From what you said, your distraction comes from two sources of stress:

1. I'm going to interpret this part of your statement for you. The leader is summarizing the work of 2022 and planning the work of 2023.

Let me be clear: there is no achievement in 2022, and we don't yet know the plan for 2023. Is that right? I don't know the nature of your company or your position. In most cases, employees will summarize the work of the current year and the work direction and plan for the next year. Leaders will then collectively deploy the overall plan and goals of the department. This will involve every position. We will follow the instructions of the leaders and work hard to complete and recreate according to our own positions.

You are eager to learn and have just joined a study group. The daily activities require completion on time, and your group friends have completed many plans and projects, which makes you feel anxious, fearful, and at a loss.

Let's sort this out.

You have limited time and energy, so it's difficult to complete tasks on time. You need to start with time management. If it doesn't work after a period of time, it means that this stage is not suitable for you to improve in this group.

(2) Your anxiety has been triggered by the high efficiency of your group friends, which has further affected your mood and progress. If you want to improve, you must be prepared for everything, including the psychological level. This is also part of our improvement. You have to leave the comfort zone and choose to rise up, even though it will cause a certain period of time of discomfort. It is a process that all self-motivated people must go through. Think of those people who seem to you to be completing project activities quickly. They too once experienced the same anxiety and confusion as you do now, at a certain time. However, they got through it and became the light in other people's eyes. You will also become the light in the eyes of yourself and future generations. It takes time and patience, but you can do it.

Success doesn't come overnight. You're already more motivated than most people. Keep improving yourself. Don't let anyone slow you down. You'll get there.

Hello! I'm a cognitive behavioral coach, and I'm excited to help you with your headaches. The year is almost over, so let's make next year your best one yet!

It's almost New Year's Eve, and the leader will arrange for someone to do a great job this year. I've got to make up for lost time! Recently, I joined a study group chat, where we do some activity projects every day and are required to complete them on time. This has inadvertently increased a lot of pressure on me, but I'm up for the challenge! My group friends have already made a lot of plans and projects, which makes you feel very anxious and scared. You don't know what to do, but I'm here to help! I'll try to answer your questions.

The subject's physiological response is a headache. If there are no physical problems, it may be caused by psychological stress. You are feeling very disturbed and anxious, but you can overcome this!

Your sense of stress comes from two sources. At work, you feel that you haven't done much this year, and every day just passes by. You feel like you've wasted the year, and you don't feel a sense of achievement or worth. But don't worry! There's plenty you can do to turn this around.

On the other hand, I can see that the questioner has recently signed up for a group chat about learning, which shows that the questioner has a positive and upward-looking heart. You want to improve your abilities and level through learning, and you want to enhance your sense of presence and sense of value through activities—and you're going to do it!

But after you signed up for the course, you saw that the learning requirements included doing activities every day and completing them on time. After work, you feel that you have added a lot of pressure to yourself, but you're excited to dive in! You see that other group members have made a lot of plans and projects, but you can't do it yourself, and you feel very anxious.

I can see that the questioner has high expectations of himself and is very motivated, which is great! I wonder what the questioner's needs are. Maybe it's to achieve results and be at the top of the class in both work and study. Or perhaps it's just to complete assignments on time. Or it could be that the questioner cares only about the gains in the learning process, and the results don't matter. Whatever it is, I'm excited to find out!

First, find your own goals and needs. What is your purpose for joining this study group? Work and study both involve completing tasks. Activity programs are designed to motivate everyone to learn, and the time required is also to test individual abilities. Completing tasks is both a learning process and a process of competing and testing oneself. This is not an easy task, but it's an exciting one!

The good news is that the questioner can find out their own cognitive model based on cognitive behavioral therapy.

Let's dive into the fascinating world of cognitive behavioral therapy! Here, we'll explore the connection between our thoughts, emotions, and actions. Imagine this: a situation arises, and our automatic thinking kicks in. This can lead to a range of emotional responses and behaviors.

For example, the situation is that everyone else has completed the learning activity project, but I haven't — yet!

Your thoughts: If I can't finish on time, I'll have to step up my game! I'm not incompetent, I'm just not the fastest.

Your emotional reaction: anxious, fearful

Your behavioral response: rush to complete the task/give up

I'm just giving an example. The great news is that the questioner can follow this model to find their own automatic thoughts according to their own situation.

The questioner can conduct a pros and cons analysis to identify the best possible outcome. They can also consider what the worst case scenario might be and what not completing the task means to them. Finally, they can ask themselves if they truly are incapable of completing the task.

What's the best possible outcome? What's the most objective and realistic outcome?

Now for the big question: What will you do next?

When anxiety arises, there is an AWARE awareness technique that the questioner can try and it is a great one!

A: Embrace your anxiety!

W: It's time to observe your anxiety without judgment!

A: When anxiety arises, act as if you are not anxious!

R: And now, let's repeat the first three steps!

E: Expect the best to happen!

The question owner can also do some amazing progressive relaxation breathing exercises to help you relax. When you're relaxed, you can think better, calm down, and do the task, believe in your abilities, and do your best!

I'm sure you'll be able to get rid of your troubles soon! Best of luck!

Hello, I see you have a lot of questions and concerns about 2023.

After reading your message a few times, I get the sense that you're not happy with yourself. Here's what I understand: You didn't do much in 2022. You spent every day going through the same routine. You joined a group chat for learning, but the other group members have already made a lot of plans and projects. It seems like you haven't started yet. All of this makes you feel anxious and worried. You don't know what to do anymore.

I just want to check with you: are these facts? Are you feeling dissatisfied with yourself, thinking that you haven't made any effort and that you've wasted your time day after day?

From what you've said, it seems like you've joined a study group and have some activities every day. So, it's clear that you have some requirements for yourself and are taking action.

It looks like you're setting the bar a little higher for yourself, though. What you see right now isn't just what you've given and gained, but also what you haven't achieved. If we keep going in this cycle, it'll take a toll on us internally, and over time it'll trigger more emotions and leave us exhausted.

You might want to ask yourself, "Is it okay if I achieve nothing and waste my time?"

You're not happy with the way you're being judged by yourself. Where did this kind of voice come from earlier? Who would evaluate you in this way?

Now that you've grown up, you can try to distance yourself from these voices. You might want to try writing down three of your own good points every day, the small achievements you've made, the moments that make you feel happy, the delicious food you've eaten, the happy smells you've noticed... Anything that makes you happy can be written down. From the little things in life, you can see the bright spots that belong to you and make you feel good.

You can also try setting your own 2023 plan goals using the following five steps for setting goals:

The first thing you need to do is decide what values you want to focus on. For example, I want to maintain my body in a healthy and fit state.

Next, set a goal for the day. Ask yourself, "What can I do in the next 24 hours?"

For instance, do 10 push-ups when you get home. This is an attainable goal that will motivate and inspire us to take action.

Step 3: Set some short-term goals. Ask yourself, "What can I do for my health in the next week?"

For instance, I'm going to do 10 push-ups at home every weekday evening at 9 o'clock for the next week.

Step 4: Set a midterm goal. Ask yourself, "What can I do for my health in the next month?"

For instance, make a point of doing push-ups every day. Try to eat nutritious meals you've prepared yourself, rather than ordering takeout four days a week.

By the end of the month, you should take a posture correction course.

Step 5: Set long-term goals. Think big and imagine what your physical condition and posture will be like in a year.

By the end of the year, we'll have all the indicators of the physical examination normal, and we'll have reduced the hunchback and round shoulders. That's the long-term goal.

It's especially important to set short- and medium-term goals in these five steps.

It's easy to achieve a daily goal, but sticking to a short- to medium-term goal is much more challenging.

The quality of a goal affects whether we can put it into practice and turn it into a habit. A high-quality goal should be specific, time-framed, realistic, meaningful, and adaptive.

Specific: This goal can have some specific numbers. For example, "I will do 10 push-ups," not vague "I will exercise" or "I will do push-ups."

A time limit means there's a clear point in time, like 9 pm.

Then, this goal has to be realistic. For my own good, I should aim to do 100 push-ups.

But for me right now, even if I do it that day, it's not realistic to make it a daily habit.

Don't be discouraged if you don't do it well. As long as you want to, you have the right to take care of yourself.

I'd like to wish us all the best in learning to accept ourselves as we are.

Hello, question asker. My name is Evan.

The questioner mentioned that due to work-related reasons, the leader arranged for them to perform their tasks well. Additionally, they participated in a study group that was also developing a work plan for the upcoming year. This resulted in feelings of anxiety for the questioner, as they had to balance studying with their work responsibilities and cope with the inherent pressures of work.

It is understandable that facing the pressure of study and work can lead to feelings of anxiety. It seems that the questioner is currently facing some challenges, and it is not easy to express oneself fully at work and school.

It's important to remember that everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses at work. We can't be perfect, and there are always things we can't do well. It's normal to feel pressure at work. It seems that the questioner's anxiety is more about how to present themselves to their leader as best as possible. If they can't make a good impression on their leader, it might affect their current job situation.

Have you perhaps set yourself up with expectations? It's possible that your performance is the only way you can feel good at work.

Perhaps a kind pat on the shoulder could offer a little strength. It is understandable to feel anxious if you are not able to achieve the level you expect at work.

It seems that these negative emotions are interfering with the questioner and making them doubt themselves. It might be helpful to learn how to detect and eliminate bad emotions and replace them with a positive mindset.

I believe that what cannot defeat the questioner will surely give the questioner more courage to face difficulties in the future.

As the question was asked on a platform, we are unable to communicate in detail about it. Therefore, I can only offer the questioner a few suggestions on how to deal with the negative emotions that arise:

It would be helpful to identify the source of the anxiety.

Could I ask what might be causing the questioner some anxiety? Is it perhaps concerns about work, or worries about studying?

This may require the questioner to take the time to carefully search for and identify the factors that are affecting their reaction, and to record them on paper.

It would be helpful to understand what might be causing the questioner to feel negative emotions. It might be beneficial to try to identify the root cause of these emotions. For example, it would be interesting to consider what might happen if the questioner felt that the work assigned by the leader could not be done well.

If you feel that this job is causing you too much stress, have you considered other job options? If you have more options, would that help to alleviate your negative emotions?

It would be beneficial for the questioner to identify the root cause of their negative emotions in order to develop a coping strategy that is tailored to their concerns.

It might be helpful to try to solve your own problems.

Once you have identified the root cause of your negative emotions, you can then begin to look for ways to address the underlying issue. For instance, if you feel that the work assigned by your leader is overwhelming, you might consider learning ways to manage your stress levels.

When facing negative emotions, it may be helpful to avoid dwelling on them and talking about them too much. Instead, try to focus on something positive. With time, this can help shift your mindset.

Please list the worst possible outcomes.

Could you please describe the worst possible outcome? What about the worst possible outcome for the questioner? Is there a worst possible outcome that the questioner cannot accept? Please list them all and see if you have any coping strategies or if you really cannot accept them.

It might be helpful to consider that dwelling on negative thoughts and worries is not the most constructive approach. Instead, it could be beneficial to identify potential challenges and develop a plan of action. For instance, it's natural to wonder what would happen if one were not as competent as they would like to be at their job. However, when faced with such a situation, having a strategy in place can help to guide the response. This could potentially reduce the anxiety that might otherwise be experienced.

It might be helpful to remember that there are often more solutions than problems. Many of our ancestors have taught us the value of identifying problems early and taking precautions.

It may be helpful to be aware of your own verbal habits.

It's not uncommon to find ourselves resorting to clichés when we're faced with challenging situations. We might say, "I'm so annoyed" or "I messed up again today." These phrases often reflect an exaggerated and emotional response to the situation. Unfortunately, they can also lead to a deeper negative mindset.

It would be beneficial for the person asking the question to avoid using this type of vocabulary. In order to help you turn negative emotions into a positive side, it might be helpful to replace this negative language with positive thoughts and praise. For example, you could consider replacing "terrible" with "unfavorable" or "there is room for improvement" and "disaster" with "challenge" or "inconvenience."

It may be helpful to look for the positive.

It's important to remember that nobody is perfect. Even the most capable person can make mistakes. It's therefore unhelpful to demand perfection from ourselves at work. When we find ourselves feeling negative or distressed, it can be helpful to stop and think of something positive instead.

For instance, if a game has been lost, it may be helpful to identify the reasons behind this outcome. This process can provide an opportunity to learn new methods that could help avoid similar mistakes in future games.

It may be helpful to seek external support.

If you feel that the above methods are not effective for you, you may wish to consider seeking external help from a professional psychologist or counselor for psychological intervention. These professionals can provide confidential support and guidance on how to manage your negative emotions. You can speak openly and honestly with them about your experiences.

Please describe how these feelings of anxiety typically arise and how you typically respond to them. If you feel it would be helpful, please continue communicating with these professionals until you feel more at ease.

I hope my answer provides some helpful insight for the questioner.

Good day, I am writing in response to your query.

From your inquiry, it appears that the pressure from work, life, and studies has resulted in physical discomfort and mental distress.

It is, in fact, quite common, and there is no cause for concern or distress.

I will endeavor to provide an analysis and offer guidance as follows:

[Understanding psychological stress]

Psychological stress is primarily a painful experience caused by specific events and cognitive biases in one's work, life, and studies.

As the questioner stated, "It seems like I haven't accomplished much this year. It's just that each day passes by." "My colleagues in the group have already made significant progress on numerous projects, which makes me feel anxious and uneasy."

If left unaddressed, psychological pressure can lead to negative emotional accumulation. Prolonged stress can impair an individual's work efficiency and overall quality of life, potentially resulting in significant distress. As illustrated by the questioner's description, "My head hurts and I'm very upset," such consequences can be severe and debilitating.

It is therefore important to relieve stress in a timely manner.

[One effective method for stress relief is through open communication.]

Discussing issues with colleagues can provide a sense of relief and help achieve a balance between internal and external factors.

It is advisable to share your concerns with a trusted individual who can provide a level-headed and empathetic perspective.

As the original poster did, you can use this platform to vent, find help and support, and get out of confusion sooner. You can also build self-confidence and courage, and ignite hope in your heart.

[Perform additional good deeds to mitigate stress]

Engaging in altruistic behavior has been shown to contribute to an individual's sense of well-being and emotional equilibrium.

You experience a sense of comfort and peace.

For instance, if you assist your colleagues more frequently at work and offer more praise in group communications,

Others will respond, you will be encouraged, and you will feel happy.

Providing assistance to others in a sincere manner can result in a positive emotional response. This can contribute to stress reduction and overall well-being.

[Adjust your expectations]

Excessive expectations are a common source of personal distress.

It is therefore important to set realistic goals and not to be overly demanding of yourself.

For instance, as the questioner notes, "I didn't accomplish much this year," but ensuring safety and stability is of paramount importance.

For instance, in a situation where other group members have already made significant contributions, it is important to recognize and affirm the value of your own contributions, even if they may seem limited in comparison.

Frequently, concerns arise from an inability to disengage and a lack of clarity in decision-making.

It is only when you are able to let go at the appropriate time that you will be able to fully embrace the happiness and joy that are rightfully yours.

I hope this information is of some assistance.

Hello, You seem troubled. Your troubles started after you joined the study group. The group is full of energy, which seems to have increased your stress!

There is no standard way to live. Our ancestors grew crops and hunted. They did different jobs because of their different genes.

We all have different backgrounds and goals. As long as we have basic needs met, we should follow our hearts and not worry about what others do.

Ask yourself if you want to keep learning. Some people are curious, which is good, but many people are happy to enjoy simple pleasures. If you enjoy learning and the results, keep doing it. Otherwise, why make things difficult for yourself?

Do you have the same amount of free time as your group friends? Many activists in learning groups are not successful in real life.

Some people have time on their hands and don't know what to do, so they study. Learning is not about these people, but the pleasure of enjoying knowledge.

If you were happy without plans, go back to a normal life.

Most people cannot achieve what they plan. Even successful people have benefited from the right time, place, and people.

Hello, I'm Xin Tan. I'm Coach Fei Yun.

You're troubled by your lack of planning and action. You feel like time is passing you by, and you hope to make improvements as the new year approaches, but you're also worried and afraid. You don't want to live like this.

Comparing yourself to others puts pressure on you.

It's New Year's Eve. Everyone is happy to move on from yesterday. You're sad about the past and wondering where the time has gone.

You've joined a study group, which shows you're ready to change. You want to live a meaningful life.

When you see that your friends have made lots of plans, you feel anxious.

There was an article called "Your Peers are Surpassing You." It was inspiring but made people anxious. Everyone has their own life path. The emperor inherited the important task of ruling the country before he was born.

It's good to have a reference and a benchmark to know where you stand and your goals. But if comparison brings you pressure, it's not worth it.

You joined the group to communicate, exchange ideas, and learn and grow. Now you feel intimidated and at a loss, and you have self-doubt. Is this what you wanted?

Anxiety is normal. Being aware helps us act respectfully and motivated. But being too vigilant drains our energy.

2. Live a planned and goal-oriented life to feel that life is full of meaning.

"Without goals, people drift aimlessly." Plan your work, then work your plan. You said, "Every day just passes by," showing you have your own rhythm.

On the last day of 2022, think about the year that has passed. What have you gained and lost? Gains are good, and so are lessons learned.

In the past year, you've seen your own patterns: confused or planned, self-pity or gratitude, positivity or negativity.

When we see our own patterns, we take responsibility. Focusing on the past makes you lose more.

Focus on the present and the future to gain hope and strength.

If not now, then when? Record your 2022 and plan your 2023.

I hope this helps you. I love you.

To chat, click "Find a Heart Exploration Coach" in the lower right corner.