My husband loves me deeply but always has a tendency to attract women from outside. What should I do?

If I might be so bold, I would like to offer the author some words of comfort from afar.

From the description provided by the questioner, it seems that there may be some confusion regarding the current situation.

My husband and I were relatively new to the experience of being lovers.

My husband has a tendency to present himself as single in front of other women, and he rarely displays our affection in his circle of friends. Additionally, he has a penchant for provoking other women and getting involved with attractive women.

The questioner seems uncertain.

I wonder if my husband still loves me. Is this how love is?

I would like to offer the questioner some words of comfort from afar. Description of the situation:

From the questioner's description, it seems that the questioner is currently experiencing a great deal of emotional instability in her relationship with her husband, who has been engaging in some questionable behavior.

From what we can ascertain from the current situation, it would appear that no substantive relationship has occurred. However, this does give the questioner a great sense of crisis.

I believe the best solution would be to...

1- It would be beneficial for you to communicate well with your husband and kindly ask him to minimize his ambiguous relationships with other women. From the beginning of your acquaintance until now, it seems that there has only been each other in your world. For men, it can be challenging to remain faithful to one person. This is a program that is deeply ingrained in men.

2-On the one hand, we need to remain generous and always remind your husband to maintain a degree of distance in certain relationships, which means not to go beyond the boundaries that should not be crossed in interpersonal relationships.

3-When your husband behaves in this way, we also need to give him enough space and trust that he will not do anything to hurt you or damage your relationship.

4-The third and fourth points are not contradictory. It would also be helpful to make plans for the future. If the other person accidentally crosses the red line, it would be good to think about how you would handle your relationship and how you would treat the other person. This is something the original poster might want to consider. If they say they can't think about this, perhaps they could talk to a counselor.

Take some time to comfort yourself in the midst of your confusion, doubt, and pain.

First of all, I'm not sure how long you've been together. I don't know when you started tolerating his behavior.

Did you get married or were you just in a relationship?

To be honest, I was surprised when I read what you said and found it difficult to believe.

Second, as the saying goes, you shouldn't let a small problem go unchecked. You should have stopped his thoughts and actions at the beginning, rather than tolerating them until now. If you keep tolerating him, he'll keep going.

It's possible there are other behaviors you're not aware of. Before you communicate with him calmly, you need to change your mindset.

Third, you have your own ideas about what love and marriage mean, and you're the best person to decide what's right for you. But your situation is a bit unusual. Take a moment to think about why you put up with your husband's behavior.

Are you worried about losing him, or are there other reasons? How can you make your relationship more like a normal romantic marriage?

These are all great questions to think about.

Best of luck. Given the limited information, it's important to keep communicating.

Public Zonghao: A young man with some big ideas (ID: qingnianJIA2020), looking forward to staying in touch.

Yi Xinli Answering Questions Hall is a supportive community where we love and respect each other. You can find us at https://m.xinli001.com/qa.

Dear questioner,

From your description, it is clear that you are disappointed, dissatisfied, in pain, and helpless in this relationship.

1. Your husband always says he is single in front of other women.

Your husband tells other people he is single. Why? It's possible he's immature and thinks there's nothing wrong with expressing himself this way.

2. You rarely show off your affection in your circle of friends, and your husband still loves to provoke other women and get involved with pretty women. You need to stop him.

3. Every time you ask him, he says he loves you. This isn't what you want.

Your marriage is built on tolerance, forbearance, and support. Your husband shows you that he loves you, and it is obvious that he trusts and relies on you. You are extremely stable (without any variables). This stability gives him a lot of room and allows him to release his own ambiguous nature without any worries.

In an intimate relationship, the one who is suffering more will change first. You have come here for help, which means you are suffering more. You must change first, and then he may change.

I'm going to give you two tips that I know will help you.

(1) Speak with him openly and honestly to convey your genuine thoughts and concerns about his actions. Clearly state your boundaries and differentiate between what is negotiable and what is not. It's essential to maintain a calm and composed demeanor when communicating.

(2) You need to enrich and diversify your life as much as possible. Socialize more, travel, and hang out with friends more often. Make changes in your dressing style. All of these are excellent ways to break through. Divert your excessive attention to him and make him feel that you are out of control. When he feels that you are no longer in control, he will have a sense of crisis. This will make him pay more attention to you. You will only feel safe when he feels insecure. Don't let your partner feel that you are too safe. If you are too safe, you will have difficulty making changes, and then you will be easily ignored.

Change yourself, not for the other person, not for the relationship, but for your own life to be richer and more colorful. This is the advice I wish I could give you.

I wish the original poster happiness.

Hello, question asker! I'm your answerer, Enoch, and I'm excited to help!

From the questioner's description, it seems that in the process of getting along with her husband, she feels that he does love her. But at the same time, she also feels that he is having an ambiguous relationship with other women, which makes her question whether he really loves her.

There are actually several reasons for the husband's reaction!

1. The questioner and her husband were each other's first loves, and they both adore their relationship! The husband has a true love for the questioner that is difficult to give up, like family love.

2. The two have gotten along very well since their first love and marriage, so the husband is very comfortable with the way he gets along with the questioner. At the same time, he has not tasted the pain of unrequited love, so he is excited to face the prospect of a new relationship. Therefore, he will do his best to maintain a good relationship with the questioner.

3. But here's the thing: because the husband in this question has only been in a relationship with the questioner, he will inevitably develop curiosity and interest in other types of women. This is totally normal! It's only natural that he'll always seek out new sensations and excitement by picking up other women.

In this situation, even if your husband treats you well, you should definitely help him establish a sense of boundaries! This kind of behavior on his part, if continued over a long period of time, will break the trust between you and cause harm to your family and marriage. And it won't do your husband any good either. While he gets a sense of freshness, he will also experience the pain caused by various emotional ruptures.

The questioner's husband may be more sentimental, and he will also take care of the emotions and give other care to other girls, but he is not dedicated enough to the relationship, which presents a great opportunity for growth and improvement!

If the questioner doesn't express her attitude towards her husband's behavior, I'm afraid the other party will feel emboldened. So let's make sure we do that!

Hello!

"Does my husband still love me?" I bet when you ask this question, you're filled with a little worry, but also a lot of hope!

"Is this what it means to love someone?" Such doubts seem to reveal the love you long for in your heart.

It must be tough holding on in the face of such doubts, but let's find some more powerful resources, shall we?

What does "first love" mean to you?

I'm so excited to hear more about your experience! How long have you known about your husband's behavior? And how did you feel when you first found out?

Have you discussed this issue with your husband? What makes you accept everything with a simple "I love you"?

Have you ever considered that perhaps there's room for tolerance and compromise in your relationship? It's possible that you've always been uncomfortable with this, or that it's something that you've only become uncomfortable with at this particular moment in time.

Absolutely! The relationship of "first love" is an extremely important resource for me.

I'm so excited to help you with this question! I'm going to help you see your true self in this kind of thinking. Are you ready to try?

Is that your true self? Absolutely! That's the way you want to be!

The "key" is in your hands!

Each of us has our own individual psychological needs, and these needs form our expectations and judgments of the world. You are asking, "Is this really how you love someone?"

Where is the key to unlocking this mystery? Do you think it's your husband who decides?

I think you are doubting his actions! I think the key is in your hands. How do you think you should love and maintain love?

So, what is your standard or bottom line? And are you willing to express this bottom line to your husband?

Tell him sincerely! Consider the strength of your love for each other over the years. Is it strong enough to prompt you both to make changes for each other? Absolutely! Protect your bottom line. This is your sense of boundaries, and the two people in love should respect each other's sense of boundaries.

? True love, forbearance, and submission are all happiness!

Absolutely! You can ask your heart! The one who watched her husband "intimating" with another woman, the one who had to face her husband saying she was "single," did such tolerance give you a sense of security, trust, and happiness?

True love is a two-way street! Take care of yourself, go to him, and let him come to you. Talk about your feelings together, so that this hard-won love can be nurtured or resolved. Is that okay? Absolutely!

It's not easy to fall in love, but it's worth it! And it's even harder to stay in love, but you can do it! Just accept it and face it positively. The world and I both love you, so go out there and show the world how much you love them too!

Hello, I'm Jia'ao.

I read your post. You said your husband loves you, but he still likes to provoke other women, says he is single in front of them, rarely shows affection, and is ambiguous with beautiful women. You want to know if he still loves you and if this is how you love someone.

Here's a detailed analysis:

You must be angry and helpless. But your husband loves you. What's unacceptable is that he doesn't love you and goes out to flirt with other women.

It depends on the situation. Is he always like this or did he suddenly become like this after getting married? You haven't said. But you are husband and wife, have you talked about this?

2. Men love to flirt. It's a remnant of ancient genes. Many boys still like to flirt with girls, whether they are single or not. They try to attract other people's attention to satisfy their own vanity. This may come from a desire to possess, conquer, and save face. Some men want to conquer all women. This is a problem that needs to be viewed from the perspective of certain physiological differences. Know your husband. Is he one of these types of boys?

You know best.

3. Will you be more balanced after understanding this?

Tell him you want him to be more responsible as a husband. Men can have friends outside the family, but there are some things you can't do. You have to maintain a safe distance from the opposite sex and guard your boundaries. You don't have to be soft and compromise. You're already married, so don't pretend to be single. Tell him if he keeps doing this, it will make you very unhappy. Let him understand and sympathize with you.

4. Be more observant in the future. Pay attention to the type of women he attracts. Improve your appearance and quality of life. Don't be lazy in front of him. Men are visual creatures.

5. If you have children, try to get your partner to spend more time with them. This will help you to stay in touch. Focus on your own life and interests. Meet up with friends more often and make new friends. Don't depend on your partner too much. Be independent.

6. Don't retaliate with something impulsive and regrettable. If you can find a peaceful solution, do so. If he's reckless, don't compromise. You can discuss anything.

I hope this helps. I love you!

Hello!

It's totally understandable that different people have different views on what love is. But if love is something you can share with lots of people at once, it's not really love, is it? Because true love is something you can't share with lots of people at once.

My husband loves me very much, but he has a habit of provoking other women. I'm not sure if I'm understanding this correctly, but is this what love looks like?

It's pretty clear that the husband's "hypocritical love" is pretty obvious here. Does he love his wife? Absolutely!

I wonder if he loves other women? After all, he can love too, so is his love real love?

He loves her passionately, but his love isn't as sincere or pure as it could be. Is he really in love with her, or is he just in love with himself? It's hard to say. Either way, it's clear that he doesn't care about her feelings, indulges in self-indulgent behavior, and lives life to the fullest without any respect for relationships.

How should we perceive love?

1. Love is about giving and growing. Lovers usually experience a period of intense love, and often mistake satisfying their own desires for "love." They see the other person's beautiful appearance and want to possess it, take advantage of their partner's strengths, and enjoy the sense of satisfaction in the relationship, calling it "love." They promise to wait for each other for the rest of their lives, but the moment they pass through the door of marriage, their mindset begins to change. Because they cannot abide by the principles of marriage and shoulder the responsibilities of marriage, they begin to look for an escape route. This is not true love. Love requires giving, trust, and nourishment. It involves caring about and paying attention to the other person, and knowing how to maintain and nurture a relationship. Only then can love be expressed proactively and extended.

2. Be loyal to each other and build trust. Unreasonable love always requires the other person to make compromises and sacrifices in order to seek self-gratification, disregarding the wife's feelings and indulging in self-indulgent behavior. Even if it will damage the existing relationship, he can still find reasons to coax his wife and tell her, "I love you, but there's nothing I can do about it." This self-deceptive love is nothing more than a pretext for love. True love is being questioned.

3. Mutual growth and nourishment. What kind of love is true love? Well, it's the kind that nourishes both people involved, and encourages them to grow and become their best selves. It's a love that respects and loves oneself, and also respects the other person's individuality. It's a love that cares for the other person's feelings, and rejects behaviors that damage the relationship. It's a love that disciplines oneself, and inspires both people involved to grow and become the best versions of themselves.

If your husband is saying "I love you" over and over again but also expressing his affection for other people of the opposite sex, you can directly ask him if this is how he understands love. You can even ask him if you can do the same to show your love for him! It's okay to question his so-called love and let him feel the weight of his "love." The answer is right now!

Wishing you all the best!

Hello, dear question asker! I'm here to help.

You say that you and your lover are both in love and it's your first love. That's so exciting! But you also say that your husband always says he's single when he's around other women, and he provokes other women and flirts with pretty women.

When you and your partner are trying to figure out why this is happening and whether he still loves you, he tells you, "I do love you..."

"Don't be paranoid, there's nothing between her and me." "Of course I love you."

I know it can be hard to hear things like this and not feel a little suspicious.

It's only natural to believe someone we trust or love when they speak with a high degree of certainty, especially if their words make sense or touch on our longing for love.

But when he always tells other women that he is single, when he constantly flirts with other women, and when he is always involved in ambiguous relationships, don't you feel a little uncomfortable and start to doubt your love for your husband? I totally get it!

That's why some of us might ask ourselves questions like, "Does my husband still love me?" or "Is this how you love someone?"

"doubts."

In your relationship, have you talked to your partner about how you're feeling? It can be really hard to feel comfortable in a relationship, especially when we're trying to change things for the better. It's natural to hope that our efforts will be met with understanding.

It's totally normal to feel like you've never really discussed things with your partner. It can be really hard to know what to say, especially when you feel like your partner is pushing your buttons. But it's so important to find a way to talk about your feelings and what you need. That's why you're looking for answers.

It's great that you've taken the time to reflect on your relationship. It's so important to understand whether you're in a distorted, uncomfortable, unequal situation.

It's so important to recognize that your partner is clearly dominant in this intimate relationship. Unfortunately, this means that they are exploiting your deep-seated concerns and even fears about being loved and understood.

Your noncommittal, evasive attitude, in turn, gives him room to push further and further, making his behavior increasingly unrestrained. I know it can be hard to know the right way to handle things, but I'm here to help!

If you feel uncomfortable, please don't hesitate to take a step back and find yourself again.

So what does true love look like? You can use the following points as part of the criteria to help you find out.

You deserve the chance to express yourself freely.

We can express ourselves freely, whether we're happy or not, without worrying that it'll affect the relationship or make us feel bad.

And when differences arise, we respect each other's opinions.

We respect each other's different opinions and don't try to convince each other of our point of view. We recognize that we have different attitudes, and that's okay! It doesn't damage the relationship.

It's so important to be clear about each other's bottom lines!

We all have our own boundaries, and we respect each other's space. We don't deliberately cross each other's boundaries, let alone ignore them and destroy established principles during an argument.

It's so important to try to understand and trust each other.

We can feel each other's attempts at communication and understanding, rather than one person talking about themselves while the other person just goes about their business.

It can be tough to change or end a relationship, but remember, true love is all about respect and equality.

It's so important to cherish the rare relationships around you, but don't forget to learn to protect yourself in love too!

I really hope this is helpful for you. Wishing you all the best!

Hi, I'm Strawberry.

The OP and her husband are each other's first loves. You like each other, and the OP loves her husband. However, the OP is confused because he says he loves you, but you still doubt whether he really does.

The questioner's husband says he's single, doesn't post about her, and likes ambiguous relationships. He may like her, but he's not exclusively committed. If he doesn't have protection from marriage law, he won't want the current life.

My husband loves me, but he likes to flirt with other women. What should I do?

Love isn't self-deception.

The questioner loves her husband, but his behavior makes you wonder if he still loves her. Some people are only for one person. Once they fall in love, they won't move on.

The husband of the questioner acts this way to make other women hope he'll change. He often has ambiguous relationships with other women. The questioner just asks if he loves her. His love has a purpose. Maybe he's used to her, or maybe she can bring him care.

If you don't accept the truth, you're fooling yourself. If the questioner is willing to accept her husband's behavior, why wouldn't he be happy to do so?

What is true love?

There's no one definition of love. How couples express love is different. The questioner's love may be seen as tolerance. But tolerance doesn't always mean love in return. Sometimes it's about humiliating yourself to accommodate others. The questioner's attitude seems to fit this description.

His behavior hurts him, but you believe in the love he speaks of. If you say love, he doesn't know love. If you love someone, you want to give your best and protect them.

The questioner didn't mention why her husband behaved this way. Maybe he saw people act this way in his upbringing. This is about his perception. If a person's perception is limited, it's hard to improve if they don't know they need to change.

Try professional help.

This problem with the questioner's husband is not just a one-off. He is unable to change, so the questioner has come to ask this question. It seems that the questioner's husband may need to change his behavior with professional help.

First, seek advice. Improvement is the only way to change. Otherwise, if the behavior persists, the problem will continue to trouble the questioner. Because you cherish your partner, you want to find a solution. You can only have more love and happiness by helping him change.

I hope this helps the questioner. Best wishes.

Good day,

Host:

My name is Zeng Chen, and I am a heart exploration coach. I have taken the time to carefully read the post, and I can sense your anxiety from the content.

I also want to commend you for being so open and seeking help on this platform. It's a great way to gain insight and understanding, which can help you and your husband make positive changes.

In the following section, I will share my observations and thoughts from the post, which I hope will help the hostess to look at the situation from a more diverse perspective.

1. It might be helpful to express our feelings.

From what I can gather from the post, it seems that both you and your husband are in your first relationships and that you both like each other very much. However, it seems that your husband may not be entirely forthcoming about his relationship status with other women, and that he may not express his affection as much as you would like in his circle of friends. Additionally, it seems that he may have a tendency to be somewhat ambiguous with other women he finds attractive. When you ask him about it, he says he loves you. This leads me to wonder if your husband still loves you.

From this information, I can appreciate your anxiety and empathize with your situation. Next, let's explore some strategies you can employ to support yourself.

From what I can gather, the host may be trying to express their feelings to their husband so that he is aware of how his actions make them feel and the impact they have on them.

It is not uncommon for husbands to be unaware of their wives' inner feelings because they do not express them. This is because there are often significant differences in the way men and women think.

It might be helpful to express our feelings in the first person, using phrases like "I feel..." For those who would like to improve their communication skills, you might find it useful to look into Nonviolent Communication.

2. Consider defining your own boundaries.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider your own boundaries. These are the limits you can accept and those you cannot accept.

It would be beneficial to share our personal boundaries with our partner so that they are aware of where we draw the line and what we find unacceptable. This can help to ensure a healthy and respectful relationship.

Some couples even discuss what the consequences might be if the boundaries are crossed.

Sometimes, it can be helpful to consider that raising the cost of making a mistake might be a form of restraint. There is a saying in psychology that suggests how others treat us is often a reflection of how we teach them.

It's important to understand that if we don't express our feelings after someone crosses a boundary, it can lead to them thinking that they can continue to do so.

It would be beneficial for us to be clear about our own boundaries and to guard them jealously. It might also be helpful to let the other person know what is and what is not okay.

It might be said that intimacy sometimes requires a certain degree of give and take.

3. Try to find an opportunity to have a good chat with your husband.

From a psychological perspective, our behavior is an external manifestation of our mental activity. I believe there may be a reason behind my husband's actions. It would be beneficial to find a suitable opportunity to speak with the host and inquire about her husband's motivations and the underlying needs driving his actions.

This approach may help you gain a deeper understanding and knowledge of your husband, which could potentially lead to more effective solutions to the problem.

Sometimes, it may be the case that some needs cannot be met in an intimate relationship, which could potentially lead to a search for fulfilment outside of the relationship. It would be beneficial to analyse the specific situation in more detail.

It might be helpful to find a husband and have a good chat. You could express your feelings and listen to your husband.

4. Perhaps it would be helpful to focus back on ourselves.

Perhaps it would be beneficial to focus some of our attention back on ourselves. It might be helpful to consider why we are feeling so restless.

Could it be that it's about more than just being apprehensive? Is there something else going on within ourselves?

We can take the time to explore ourselves. If we find that our perception is not entirely reasonable, we can adjust it accordingly.

If there has been some trauma, it might be helpful to seek support in healing. This could potentially enhance our personal charm and sense of self-worth.

It might also be helpful to learn some psychology in order to improve ourselves and become more confident. It is often the case that confident people are more attractive and more appealing.

For those interested in intimate relationships, you might also consider taking a look at the new book, "Intimate Relationships," by Huang Qituan, the owner of the Yixinli platform. This book offers insights from his thirty years of marriage.

I hope these ideas are helpful and inspiring for you in some way.

Hello, host.

The original poster said that you and your husband were each other's first love, that you like each other and are very affectionate. But the original poster feels that her husband is having an ambiguous relationship with another woman, so as the original poster, you

If you're feeling unsure, it might be worth giving your husband a warm hug to see how he responds.

It's worth asking whether different people have different definitions of love.

The original poster asked a question here, so I'll try to analyze it using psychological knowledge.

There's a well-known three-part theory of love put forth by psychologist Stenberg: "A perfect love should have three elements: passion, intimacy, and commitment."

I'm not sure what stage your husband and wife are at right now, or which of these three it fits. The following content comes from the search engine.

Liking: It's just about intimacy and feeling comfortable together, but there's no passion and there's no commitment. It's more like friendship.

It's important to remember that friendship and love are two different things. But it is still possible for a friendship to develop into love, although some people even lose their friendship because their love affair doesn't work out.

Infatuation is all about passion. You're drawn to the other person because they're very attractive, but you don't know much about them otherwise. You're not thinking about the future.

It's characterized by passion but lacks intimacy and commitment, like first love. First love is always full of passion but lacks maturity and stability. It's a kind of immature love that is guided by instinct.

Empty love is just promises. It's lacking in intimacy and passion. It's like love that's purely for the sake of getting married.

This type of "love" seems complete, but it's missing the essential elements. It's all appearance and no substance.

Romantic love: intimacy and passionate experience without commitment. This kind of "love" is all about the journey and doesn't stress about the destination.

Companionate love is about intimacy and commitment, but without passion. It's similar to the hollow kind of love. Can love be called love without passion? This is about a stable marriage, with only rights and obligations, but no feelings.

Fatuous love is when you have passion and commitment, but no intimacy. Passion without intimacy is just physical arousal, and commitment without intimacy is just an empty promise.

Consummate love is when all three elements are present, including passion, commitment, and intimacy. It's the only type of love we can truly understand.

Steinberg is smart. He puts "style" in front of these types of love because he thinks the first six types aren't really love. Only the seventh type is love. There are so many other types of relationships in real life that love with the three elements is seen as an ideal, but not the reality.

There's another type, which is basically the opposite of love. It's when none of the three factors are present.

Sometimes, we can't really know where we stand with someone else. I think love is best shown in actions, not words.

If you're not feeling well, you can always have a quick chat with your husband.

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Please feel free to follow up with me and keep the lines of communication open.