My job is unstable, so I enrolled in an adult college. I don't have the heart to study, should I persist?

Hello! I can see your confusion, but I'm here to help. You say that you have a low level of education, your job is not very stable, you took the exam for a social worker yourself, but the position requires a degree, so you enrolled in a degree enhancement course. A year has passed, and you find that you have no motivation to study. My sister is trying to persuade you not to give up, and she will encourage you, but you still feel anxious. On the one hand, you don't want to study, and on the other, you feel sorry for my sister's expectations. But don't worry! I'm here to help.

What if you just want to play with your phone and don't want to study? Absolutely, you should persevere!

It seems that you are very conflicted, which is totally normal! You feel bad about not studying, whether you feel that the tuition fees were paid in vain or you feel sorry for your sister, or maybe you are also worried about work. But don't worry, it's totally okay to feel this way!

Then what you need to do is reflect on why you don't want to learn. Is it because you think learning is too hard?

Is it because you find online courses too boring? Or is it because you don't have enough perseverance and can't force yourself to do it?

Or is it for some other reason? In short, if we don't want to learn, it's because we don't have enough motivation, and we may not feel that it matters whether we learn or not for the time being. But there's no reason not to learn! We can all find ways to stay motivated and make learning a priority.

If you really want to learn, you can do it! Set goals for yourself every day, every week, every month. You'll be amazed at what you can achieve.

That's all I can think of for now! From Yixinli, I love you and I'm rooting for you!

Greetings, I am writing in response to your question.

It is unclear whether you are genuinely interested in pursuing a career as a social worker or if you are merely complying with familial expectations. You have indicated that you enrolled in an adult college correspondence course but subsequently lost interest in studying and attending online classes. Instead, you proceeded to take the examinations without a clear motivation or direction.

Procrastination may be a means of avoiding the confrontation of unpalatable realities. It is possible that the avoidance is of a lifestyle that fails to meet one's internal expectations.

As previously stated, your sister believes that stability is a crucial aspect of the social work profession. However, this does not necessarily align with your personal perspective.

Indeed, each individual possesses unique characteristics and should assume responsibility for their own lives. It is not necessary to align one's actions with the expectations of others; rather, it is imperative to courageously pursue a life that aligns with one's genuine aspirations.

It is important to note that this does not imply that one should disregard the opinions of others entirely. Instead, it suggests that we should respect our own opinions while also respecting the opinions of others.

One might suggest that it would be beneficial to attempt to calm down and engage in a period of introspection to ascertain one's true desires. Is it a stable job that one desires?

Or is it a position that offers both challenge and excitement? Or is there another option that holds greater value for you?

What are the prerequisites for achieving your desired career path? Even if you do not become a social worker, it may be beneficial to complete your education first.

It would be beneficial to ascertain whether an advanced degree would be advantageous in the future. In the event that pursuing an advanced degree is not a viable option, it would be prudent to determine how one might develop in the future.

Furthermore, an opportunity may be found to engage in constructive communication with one's sister. It is essential to demonstrate patience and respect in such interactions. It is likely that the sister in question is genuinely concerned about the well-being of the individual, and is therefore offering advice. Regardless of the advice provided, it is crucial to listen attentively and refrain from interrupting or immediately refuting it.

Additionally, it is imperative to demonstrate respect for her opinions and ideas, refraining from trivializing or disregarding them.

Subsequently, it is advisable to articulate one's thoughts and feelings. It may be beneficial to inform one's sister of the confusion and anxiety experienced, thereby facilitating her comprehension of the circumstances and sentiments involved.

Additionally, it is beneficial to communicate some of your own plans and intentions, thereby demonstrating to your sister that you are actively engaged in pursuing your goals and have a clear sense of direction. This will likely contribute to a more relaxed and supportive atmosphere.

Once one's inner needs are fully elucidated, a robust internal drive is generated.

I extend my best wishes to you.

Dear friend, I can sense your current situation and mood. You are at a crossroads in life, facing choices and challenges. It is understandable that you feel anxious and uncertain.

You have made an admirable effort by enrolling in an adult college correspondence course, which is a commendable first step. However, at the same time, you are also experiencing some challenges with your studies and internal struggles, which may be contributing to feelings of fatigue and confusion.

You mentioned that after work, you just want to play with your phone. This is a very natural way to relax and a common way to escape stress in modern life. You may feel that this way you can temporarily forget your worries and gain some psychological comfort.

At the same time, your sister's expectations may be putting a bit of pressure on you. You don't want to let her down, but you may also find it a little difficult to find motivation to study.

Your efforts are worthy of respect. Everyone has their own rhythm and timing, and it's perfectly normal to take a little while to find your own direction.

You are not alone in this process. Many others have been in a similar situation and have found ways to move forward.

According to self-determination theory, people are more motivated to pursue goals when the three basic psychological needs of autonomy, competence, and relatedness are satisfied. It's possible that you may currently feel a lack of autonomy because you feel that you are studying to meet the expectations of others rather than your own internal motivation.

Additionally, you may be experiencing a lack of competence due to the challenges you're facing in the learning process.

You mentioned a longing for a career in social work, which may be a deep calling within you. It might be helpful to try to imagine yourself working in the field of social work. Could you feel a sense of mission and satisfaction?

If the answer is yes, then this career ideal could be a source of motivation for you to study.

You might find it helpful to break down your learning tasks into small chunks and set small, achievable goals for each day. This could make it easier for you to get started and might help you to feel more successful with each completed goal.

It might be helpful to create a reasonable study plan and try to stick to it. For example, you could try to finish your study tasks every day after work before playing with your phone.

It might be helpful to try to accept yourself as you are and not be too hard on yourself. Everyone has their own pace, and it could be beneficial to find a learning method and pace that suits you.

It might be helpful to talk to your sister about your feelings and difficulties. You could ask her to try to understand and support you.

If anxiety is affecting your daily life, you might consider seeking professional counseling. A professional counselor can provide effective strategies to help you better manage your emotions and stress.

Whatever you decide to do, it will be part of your personal growth. The most important thing is to find a way that suits you and makes you feel content and happy.

You have the right to explore, make mistakes, learn, and grow. Your value is not defined by your education or job, but by all the experiences and efforts you have made as a unique individual.

Please be kind to yourself and allow yourself the space to reflect and explore. You have done a commendable job, and now it is important to give yourself the encouragement and confidence to continue moving forward.

Hello! I really hope my answer can help you in some way.

Procrastination is a way of avoiding something. What are we avoiding? Perhaps we are avoiding a life that we don't want to lead.

Go and see if it is true that you don't like the work of a social worker that much. For you, what is more important: the content of the work, the characteristics of the work, the stability of the work...

Obviously, a stable job is great for your sister, but is that what you want for yourself? We are all individuals, and you certainly don't want to live your life to satisfy your sister's expectations. You need to make your own choices and take responsibility for your own life, don't you think?

I've got some great advice for you!

Forget about your sister's expectations and discover your ideal job!

You can go and see for yourself what your sister's expectations mean to you. I was once just like you. I made a lot of decisions to meet my family's expectations, but I wasn't happy and I lacked motivation. I did those things just to make them happy, but at the same time, I suppressed a lot of my own needs. But you can change all that!

When I explored why I wanted to meet their expectations, I made some incredible discoveries! I realized that I had been thinking that I would only be considered successful if they approved of me, that I would only be worthy of love if they approved of me, and that I would only be good enough if I met their expectations. I had tied my self-worth to being able to meet their expectations, but this made me realize that I needed to move further and further away from my true self.

Later, I had an incredible realization: a person's success, their worthiness of love, and their value don't depend on meeting others' expectations. It's about becoming our true selves and living our best lives! So, when I let go of everyone's expectations of me, set aside all the external voices, and returned to myself, I asked myself: What do I need? What kind of life do I want? And what are my expectations of my work?

I found my own answers gradually, and they were amazing! My current job may not be what they expected, and it may not be as stable or have as high an income as they hoped, but I am so happy with myself. I love my work and I love my life. I am living up to my full potential and I am happy! Now, when they see my state, they no longer say anything. In fact, from a certain point of view, they are even envious of me because they also hope to be so happy!

2. Learn to separate issues, make your own choices, and take responsibility for them. It's an amazing feeling when you do!

We can absolutely take our sister's advice as a reference, but each of us gets to choose, decide, and take responsibility for our own lives. This is called subject-object separation in psychology. Whether it's work, life, study, marriage, or choosing friends, when faced with various choices, other people's advice is only a reference. In the end, we each have the amazing opportunity to make a choice and bear the consequences of that choice!

So, for your current specific situation, it's time to examine, learn, and do what works! This is your topic, and you have the freedom to make your own choice. But remember, when you make different choices, you need to embrace the results. For instance, you can choose not to take the exam. In that case, you'll need to accept the consequences, which might include moving on from that work and dealing with your sister's disappointment. Alternatively, you can choose to meet your sister's expectations. In that case, you'll need to accept the results, which could mean enjoying your work and having your sister support you. You can also choose to do other work and explain your reasons to your sister. You can ask her to be understanding and supportive. In that case, you'll need to accept the results, which could mean communicating more and exploring things together.

In short, find out what kind of result you are more willing to bear, then make the choice you are willing to make, and you will become more and more independent and free in the relationship!

I'm so excited to share this with you! I really hope it helps. Wishing you all the best!

Hello!

I have unstable work and enrolled in an adult college, but I don't want to study. Should I keep trying?

The answer is up to you! You're looking for a better future, with more rights and security. But you have to want it.

The reason for being unable to make a decision is that the questioner has not realized the importance of enrolling in an adult college and is under pressure. My sister's expectations can also be a source of support or pressure.

You've chosen a more relaxed lifestyle because you're under a lot of pressure. You rest after work or check your phone. This relieves pressure but also avoids challenges.

Clearer goals and a clearer understanding of oneself will help you achieve good results.

Students taking the college entrance exam will think about why they have to work so hard. They know going to college is to seek a better future, but things that are too abstract cannot be connected to themselves. Smart parents will take their children to visit the campus of their ideal university. When the children see the difference between the real university campus and the relatively poor university campus, they will think about the future and thus have more motivation to study.

The current poster is in a similar situation. Life can be good or bad. If you could have had a better life but gave up or were lazy, you'll still regret it.

The original poster must decide. This is the best way to achieve success.

Find a way to learn that works for you. There are many ways to work hard to achieve your goals. They all involve perseverance and flexibility.

Push-ups are a lonely exercise because you may not have anyone to train with. But if you achieve them, you will have a fit body and good health. Many people set small goals: two a day, then five. They persevere, not caring whether they succeed. Gradually, they start doing 20 to 100 push-ups. This is a milestone. The same is true of learning. Set reasonable goals to gain motivation, accomplishment, and joy.

I hope this helps!

Good luck! Keep up the good work!