My mother never cares what happens to me, but should I care about my mother?

Hello, question asker! I'm Jiang 61.

Thank you for taking the initiative to seek help from the platform.

From your description, I can sense your reluctance. Put yourself in their shoes.

If you don't care about me, I certainly won't care about you.

There are two sides to every story.

First, understand your mother.

I understand my mother because I don't know the state of your mother's original family. Some parents lacked care in their original families, so they don't care about others and don't know how to love and care for you.

If you understand her family background, you will understand why she can't care for you.

Second, sensitive people are acutely aware of how others perceive them.

Sensitive people are acutely aware of their position, image, and evaluation in the eyes of others. You may be one of these people, so you are keenly attuned to your mother's attitude towards you and can swiftly discern her needs.

Your mother may be a strong person, born to be strong, and not considerate or caring about others, especially their feelings. This kind of personality makes you feel very hurt.

Do you understand that her personality is such that she simply will not care about you? Even so, you still feel hurt, don't you?

Third, tell your mother what you need.

Tell her your needs and let her know what you're thinking, just as your mother would tell you directly. Be transparent about your needs to avoid suspicion and misunderstandings.

I am confident that these suggestions will be helpful.

I wish you the best!

Good day, My name is Qu Huidong, a psychological counselor who employs imagery as a communication tool.

From the description of the issues you have outlined, it appears that you are engaging in a dialogue between an adult and a child.

One child states, "She does not demonstrate concern for my well-being, so why should I extend the same to her?"

Another individual feels culpable, stating, "After all, she is my mother, my closest relative, and I am unsure how I can simply ignore her."

It is possible that the questioner has received relatively little attention from their mother in the past.

Therefore, we elect to be self-sufficient in order to safeguard ourselves and enhance our independence.

As our mothers grow older and their strength diminishes,

Perhaps she has become somewhat more lenient in her approach.

This will, in turn, create an uncomfortable situation, as we have become accustomed to avoiding dealing with everything.

Please provide your thoughts on this matter.

One effective method for resolving conflict is to acknowledge it.

Indeed, merely documenting the issue is an effective first step.

The following section will address how to navigate the challenges and complexities that arise in the context of confrontation.

Our response to our mothers' needs is not driven by a desire to gain the approval or evaluation of others.

It would be more beneficial to focus on the situation with her body.

It is important to refrain from making external judgments and to listen carefully to your inner voice.

Have confidence in your ability to make decisions that will improve your overall comfort level.

It is also important to remember your own inner needs.

An individual with an "empty" heart lacks the capacity to provide support and meet the needs of others.

Best regards,

Hello, my name is Strawberry!

From what you've said, I can see that you're feeling a bit hurt. It seems like your mom doesn't pay much attention to you during the day, but when she hurt her foot, she sent you a WeChat message to check in on you.

From what I can see here, it looks like the questioner's mother does interact with the questioner, and she also wants to get the questioner's attention. So, if the questioner feels that his mother doesn't care about him, it's possible that the questioner is usually very sensitive and keeps everything to himself without telling his mother, so that his mother doesn't know that the questioner has worries.

When the OP's mother tells him that she has hurt her foot, he feels a bit hurt too. He thinks, "You don't care about me, so why should I care about you?"

In psychology, there's a helpful rule for relationships called the "Golden Rule." It's all about treating others the way you'd like to be treated. (This explanation comes from Baidu.)

I'm really struggling with this. What should I do?

It's always a good idea to communicate more often to avoid any misunderstandings!

From the outside looking in, it seems like the questioner and his mom have a pretty good relationship. It's great that she's reaching out to him! It doesn't matter if it's friendship, affection, or love — communication is always key in any relationship.

It's so important to communicate more to avoid any misunderstandings. From the start, try to contact your mum every few days or so, and then gradually increase the frequency of your contact. You'll soon see that your relationship with her is actually really lovely!

It's so important to acknowledge the limitations that your parents have placed on you.

From what you've said, it seems like your relationship with your mum might not be as happy as you'd like it to be. This might be because, when you were growing up, your parents didn't always respond to your needs quickly enough. This might have made you doubt your parents' love for you and made you feel insecure, which might have made it difficult for you to express your thoughts and emotions to them.

It's so important to recognize the ways our parents have limited us and acknowledge the emotions they've brought us. When we do this, we can start to heal and grow. We can become the best versions of ourselves!

You can change yourself through learning!

The questioner is going through a lot right now, and it's understandable that they're feeling conflicted about their own thoughts. It's okay to feel this way! The reason they asked the question is to try to solve their current dilemma.

The questioner can read more books about family healing in their spare time to detect the part of themselves that needs comfort, to embrace it, and to meet its needs. When we love ourselves enough, we can slowly learn to try to love others.

It's always a good idea to get closer to friends who have expertise in this area. They can teach you lots of useful methods!

I really feel for the question owner right now. They need to take a step back, find someone to talk to, and listen to other people's opinions and suggestions. I really hope they can look at this matter from a different perspective and mindset.

I really hope my answer helps the questioner. All the best!

Hello! You're confused, which is normal. Don't blame yourself.

"If you don't care about me, why should I care about you?" You're angry at your mother because she never cared about you.

It's normal for kids to want their moms to care about and for them. When this doesn't happen, kids get disappointed, sad, and angry. This is normal. So, the sentence you think is an angry reaction to not getting the love you want.

Your mother doesn't say much about her time with you. She may have been unloved as a child and is looking for love and attention. It seems like she's acting like a child and is hoping to receive affection from you.

You are also a child, mentally. It's like two children who lack love are demanding each other's attention and care.

What do you think?

You can try to improve how you get along with each other.

1. Tell your mother when you need her to respond to you. For example, "I'm sad or scared. What should I do?"

If you have good news, tell your mother. If she doesn't respond, ask her why.

Are you unhappy? I hope you'll respond when I share something with you.

"

2. If your mother wants comfort, show her you care. If you do this often, she may learn to care for you too.

If your mother can't care for you, it means she has little love in her heart and is stuck waiting for others to love her. Grow up with your mother and give her care and love from your perspective. See if it changes her.

3. While loving your mother, you must also learn to love yourself. Don't try to satisfy your mother in return for her love.

If you can't give your mother what she needs, you can say no.

True love has boundaries. You also know how to take care of yourself. Even if you are not satisfied, it is okay because you will give each other space. This is also important for love and respect.

I'm Mingyang. I love you!

Hello, my name is Xing Ying, and I'm a national level 3 psychological counselor.

When I read your question, I couldn't help but smile. I really hope this doesn't make you angry, but I just had to share my thoughts!

I also have a daughter. When I read your words, I could almost see the pouty lips and indignant expression of my 1.72-meter-tall daughter, and I couldn't help but laugh.

She has a lot of complaints about me, and we often have lively debates. She dislikes the fact that I am not as gentle and mature as she would like, and often says that I don't care about her. I would love to be gentler, but I feel so strange and awkward. In the end, I decided to let go of this unrealistic idea.

I thought carefully: Do I love her? Absolutely!

It's just that I'm not quite capable of doing everything she wants, and she's not quite capable of doing everything I want. So we always end up having a little disagreement.

But I still love her, and I'm always happy to do whatever she wants.

Because I love her so much, I'm happy to tell her what I expect from her.

Because of my love for her, I also allow her to fail.

She sent me a photo on WeChat saying that the first rain had hurt her foot and it had not yet healed. It looked like she wanted me to care about her, and I was happy to do so!

Have you ever thought about why your mother told you that? I bet you're the person she cares about the most, so she wants your love and care, right?

Have you ever thought about why your mom tells you everything? She cares about you so much! You're her most important person, so she wants to know how you're doing.

It's natural to want to tell the person you love and care about when you're feeling sad or hurt. Your concern and greetings might just be the medicine she needs.

But my first thought was, if you don't care about me, why should I care about you? Then I thought about whether my thought was too inappropriate, too unfilial, or just too bad. After all, she is my mother!

I can see that you care about your mother and that you love her, right? Is your self-blame simply based on moral judgment?

But you were also a little angry, so you were angry and yet couldn't bear to do it? I can see that you care about your mother and that you love her, right?

I can see that you cared about your mother and loved her. I can also see that you wished she would pay more attention to you, but she didn't, and that made you feel a little lost, which made you angry, right? I'm so sorry you didn't get the love you wanted. That must have made you feel sad and angry.

I can see that you cared about your mother and loved her. You wanted her to care more about you, but she didn't, and that made you feel a little lost, which made you angry, right? It's because you couldn't get the love you wanted that you feel sad and angry.

One day, I came across a sentence that really resonated with me: "Parents are also ordinary people."

This sentence really resonated with me. It was like a light bulb went off in my head! I suddenly understood myself and my parents so much better. I felt a lot of warmth in my heart.

When we were young, our parents were like gods in our eyes. Whenever we were unhappy, scared, or sad, we would turn to them because they could solve all the problems we had to face in life.

As we grew up, we realized that our parents were also ordinary people, with the same shortcomings, helplessness, and limitations as anyone else. It's possible that your mom doesn't care about you because she just doesn't know how.

As we grew up, we realized that our parents were also ordinary people, with the same shortcomings, helplessness, and limitations as anyone else. Maybe your mother doesn't know how to show you love, but that doesn't mean she doesn't care about you.

It's totally normal for us to want to be cared for when we see that our parents have limited abilities and have already done their best. So what should we do?

You can just tell your mom what she can do to make you feel loved and cared for, just like my daughter does with me. If she tells me what I can do to make her happy, I'll be more than happy to do it!

When you feel that you care about your mother from the bottom of your heart, you don't have to hide your emotions. Just tell her, "I'm worried about you. Call me if anything happens."

Words, hugs, and eye contact are all ways to allow love to flow. This flowing emotion will ultimately change the way we get along with each other and nourish us. It's so wonderful to see how much you've grown under your mother's influence! You're more thoughtful and have stronger learning abilities now. At least your mother, when she encountered a problem, might not have thought of such a way to seek an answer.

You know, when you ask this question here, you're already making a change. And you're going to become a person with the ability to love more than your parents!

Let love flow! The world and I love you!

Hello, I hope this message finds you well. I'm writing in response to your question.

From your description, it seems that your mother may not be as attentive as you would like. It's possible that she hasn't noticed this aspect. At the same time, your mother may be eager to share her situation with you and hopes that her children will be closer to her because motherly love and children are inseparable. Your mother doesn't need to get your attention by telling you these things. She may also want to share her feelings with you because you are the person closest to her.

It might be helpful to communicate with your mother about the areas in which you feel neglected. If you are unable to express yourself directly, you could also consider writing letters or text messages to her. You could say something like, "Mom, I feel that you don't care about me and ignore me. I hope you can care about me a little."

In the case of your mother, it would be beneficial for you to learn to express your love and concern for her, as parents do genuinely love their children. It may be that there are some deficiencies in the way they express their love, which could make you feel that they are ignoring your needs. When you feel that you are being ignored and unloved, it would be helpful for you to express your feelings and needs. Of course, it is important not to use emotions to have a dialogue with your mother, but it would be more constructive to use "I" to express your feelings and at the same time tactfully express your needs. I believe that if your mother listens to you, she may be open to making some changes.

It may be helpful to consider that, regardless of your perception of neglect, your mother has likely demonstrated love for you in various ways. It's possible that we sometimes overlook certain details, but taking a closer look at your mother's actions and feelings might reveal that she cares deeply for you.

I hope my answer is helpful to you.