My mother often insults my character and tramples on my dignity. Will the future be good?

My dear child, I admire you greatly for having survived your mother's constant verbal attacks until you turned 18. You even took the college entrance exam this year, which is a testament to your resilience.

While her grades may not be as strong as she would like, she has endured a great deal for 18 years. Now, she feels a sense of powerlessness and believes that she cannot continue living in this situation. It seems that your mother often takes her frustrations out on you because she tends to believe that others are in the wrong.

It seems that you have noticed that your mother often expresses her anger towards you. This can understandably make you feel angry and aggrieved.

It's only natural to feel this way. It's challenging when we realize we haven't done anything wrong and someone else is taking it out on us.

She is angry and aggrieved, but because she is your mother, you feel powerless and unable to resist in a drastic way. I hug you and really feel very sorry for you.

It's possible that your mother is simply accustomed to expressing herself in this way. It's important to remember that she may not intend to be unkind, but rather, she may have a tendency to manage her emotions in a certain way.

It's possible that behind her sharp tongue, she may also have a motherly heart. Even if this approach makes you uncomfortable and even causes psychological harm.

It is fortunate that you still have your father to support you. It is also encouraging to know that your parents still provide you with sufficient support in life.

It can be challenging to know how to respond when our mothers attack us emotionally. It may be difficult to change our mothers, but there are ways we can try to navigate these difficult situations.

Perhaps the most important thing we can do is to try to change ourselves.

First, when your mother has another emotional outburst, it might be helpful to tell her that you are saddened by her actions. Expressing your emotions to your mother honestly is not necessarily the same as arguing.

If you feel calm enough, you could say something like this: "I have grown up, and I feel personally insulted by this."

It might be helpful to trust your mother, as she does love you. Perhaps you could tell her how you feel, as she may be able to understand your pain and hardship.

Secondly, you are already 18 years old and have the right to decide your own lifestyle. After the college entrance examination is over, you might consider taking a summer job or something to keep a little distance from your mother.

In some cases, it might be helpful to consider the benefits of creating some distance to help find solutions.

You might also consider chatting with your classmates. It could be beneficial to expand the scope of your life.

If it is within your means, it might be helpful to seek the guidance of a professional who can assist you in navigating your emotions and learning effective coping strategies.

The life of 18-year-olds is a time of sunshine, and there are infinite possibilities in life. It might be helpful to believe that everything you endure now is an investment for a better life in the future.

I hope this is helpful to you.

I'm sending you a hug, dear questioner. I can imagine it's quite challenging for you to navigate such a complex relationship with your mother.

I empathize with you. It's important to recognize that parents express their love in different ways. You've also expressed your feelings. You understand that your parents have done their best to provide a better life for you and will meet your requests. From this perspective, they truly care about you. However, the pain caused by your mother's words is also genuine.

She may often belittle you in life. I understand you feel aggrieved and resentful, and you have argued with her before. However, in front of your relatives and father, she may say her piece and get them to agree with her, which could make you feel even more aggrieved and sad. It seems you are really sad, disappointed, and disgusted with her.

If I might offer you some advice, it would be this:

First, there seems to be a difference of opinion between you and your mother. Is she right to say that your problems are caused by your mistakes?

If we do make a mistake, we should be prepared to admit it and accept criticism. However, if she is being critical and insulting, it may be best to find another time to talk to her alone.

Perhaps not when you've made a mistake, as she may not be receptive to your thoughts and feelings at that moment. It might be more beneficial to find a peaceful time to communicate calmly with each other and express your thoughts and feelings.

It is possible that she may not accept it at first, but it would be beneficial to try to communicate as much as possible and to be prepared to try again and again. It should be noted that such communication will not be resolved in one go and that it will take a long time.

I would gently suggest that you make an effort to communicate as soon as possible. Even if you avoid it now, there will come a time when you have to face this problem and untie your knot.

Secondly, you mentioned in your statement that you have a better relationship with your father. Perhaps you could try expressing and communicating with him, and asking for his help with your communication problems with your mother. Sometimes fathers can also act as a bridge of communication between you and your mother.

It would be helpful to understand your father's perspective on your mother's approach to conflict resolution. From your description, it seems that when you and your mother have disagreements, your father may tend to support your mother's perspective. It's important to recognize that your father loves you both deeply and may prioritize his relationship with your mother-in-law over yours. However, it's also essential to acknowledge that he cares about you and wants the best for you.

For this reason, it might be helpful to communicate with your father in a more private setting to gain a deeper understanding of his perspective and to seek his support in reconciling with your mother.

I recall a scene from the TV series "Youth" in which the mother, played by Yan Ni, expressed her feelings in a rather harsh manner. Her daughter, in turn, likened her mother's words to a knife stabbing her. This scene, I believe, reflects a common tendency among mothers today to express themselves in a similar way, perhaps in an attempt to wake up their children and express their concern for them.

I would like to take this opportunity to mention that you are now 18 years old and are going through adolescence. It is possible that your mother may be experiencing menopause and may therefore feel anxious about your life and studies. This could result in her expressing her concerns in a way that is perceived as harsh, which may not align with your needs. In such a situation, it would be beneficial to communicate with her and suggest alternative ways of showing love and support.

It might take some time to reconcile with our family, so we'll express ourselves gradually and communicate with a little effort. I believe you are a very good child. You are also very smart and should be able to communicate well. I believe that with hard work, things will improve.

I hope these words can be of some help to you. I love you, and I hope the world can love you too.

Greetings, dear child.

I can imagine that growing up under your mother's verbal attacks over the years has been quite challenging.

I would be delighted to walk with you through this process, and I hope it will be a source of comfort and inspiration.

1. Consider offering yourself a kind gesture of comfort.

I believe you understand that your parents love you.

It's just that her behavior can be challenging to accept.

It is possible that a mother may not realize that her words are causing harm to her child.

I believe it is important to recognize that verbal abuse can be just as harmful as physical abuse.

Such treatment can lead a child to doubt their self-worth, feel pain, or experience feelings of powerlessness.

It is fortunate that you are finally beginning to mature and are aware that your mother's words can be hurtful.

Perhaps we can find ways to heal.

Perhaps it would be helpful to embrace your inner child who may be hurting and in need of comfort and love.

Perhaps it would be helpful to learn to always be with ourselves and be our greatest supporters.

This is what we often mean by loving yourself.

I believe this is something that needs to be learned.

It may be helpful to try to be understanding and loving towards yourself, while also believing in your own strength.

You were quite young then, and you have survived 18 years. You are even more powerful now.

2. It may be helpful to recognize your mother's limitations.

It might be said that mothers are not born mothers.

It is possible that despite her best efforts, she may not have had much experience with children.

Many mothers may not realize that their actions could be perceived as problematic by others.

On the one hand, there are instances when they may unintentionally mirror their own upbringing.

It might be the case that your mother's mother treated her in this way, which could explain why she unconsciously repeats past patterns.

Another scenario that may be more common is that she has some negative emotions that she may find difficult to express to others, such as her boss or colleagues. She may seek out someone who is more vulnerable than herself, such as you, and may not always deal with her emotions in the way she could.

It seems that whenever things don't go her way, she tends to attribute the cause to external factors.

If you continue to think this way, it may lead to feelings of discontent on her part, which could result in her becoming trapped in her own thoughts and unable to extricate herself.

As a result, you may find yourself becoming the receptacle for her negative emotions.

If I might offer a suggestion, whenever your mother begins to insult you or question your character, it might be helpful to remind yourself that these are her issues, not yours.

It might be helpful to remember that what she thinks and does is her own business.

It seems that you have become a convenient outlet for her pent-up frustrations.

I want to reassure you that just because of what she said, it doesn't mean that you are bad. You are still good enough.

3. Consider learning to grow yourself.

You may be concerned about the future. My dear child, I can assure you that when you start seeking help and thinking about it, you are already on the path to getting better.

As we mature, we gradually learn to take responsibility for ourselves and to differentiate between our personal challenges and those of others.

It is important to recognize that verbal abuse from mothers is a personal issue that they need to address on their own.

We would like to discuss how we can avoid being influenced by our mothers.

She tends to believe that others are often mistaken, which unfortunately manifests in her verbal abuse of you. Those who are able to analyze situations will likely not be influenced by her.

Ultimately, we are the ones who decide who we are, not our mothers.

You will likely grow up, attend college, and then enter the workforce.

With time, we will find that our own strength grows stronger and stronger.

With time and patience, we can gradually work towards healing our wounds.

It would be beneficial to learn to affirm your own value and identify with yourself.

It would be wonderful if our mothers could give us gentle encouragement and unconditional support.

If you are unable to obtain this support at the moment, you might consider seeking it from your father, your best friend, or even yourself.

It would be beneficial for us to learn how to make our hearts stronger.

When you feel hurt, you might like to consider that you are not necessarily like what your mother said. You may not need to refute her, but you could try to make yourself better and better.

Similarly, Guo Qilin also had to navigate a challenging relationship with his father, Guo Degang. He candidly shared that it was a difficult experience.

As he grows up, he learns that what others say doesn't matter as much as how he sees himself.

Dear child, I understand it is difficult.

If you believe in yourself, you will be able to move on from your hurt.

I believe that you are worthy of love and good enough.

If it is of interest to you, you may wish to read "Embrace a Wonderful You."

I would like to extend my love and appreciation to the world and to you.

I believe the world loves you.

My dear girl, congratulations! You aced the college entrance exam, and now you have the wings to soar through the universe. The sky is the limit for you. Your parents are more understanding towards you, and a life without pressure can lead to all kinds of possibilities.

From your description, it's clear that you're unhappy, too. Your mother's emotional instability, bad temper, and hurtful language have clearly taken a toll on you. But it's encouraging to hear that you have a supportive father who's been there for you and helped you succeed in your studies. You're still a fortunate child.

Your mother's short temper and sharp tongue are likely a result of her personality, past trauma, or the influence of her family of origin. Without knowing the full context, it's not possible to speculate. However, based on what you've shared, I can identify two key issues with your mother.

One option is to "take it out on you." Clearly, the anger isn't yours, so I don't know where it's coming from. Is it your marriage?

I want to know if the issue is the relationship between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Or is it that the mother is sick?

Secondly, she always blames others. This is a clear indication of an unhealthy personality.

Think about it. There must be a reason behind her anger.

There is no mother who hates her child from the bottom of her heart. There is a story she has not told you, and you can find out what it is. You have grown up, and you can try to understand your mother's life story, which may also lead you to different discoveries.

You are 18 years old and have become an adult. You have adopted a tolerant and accommodating attitude towards your parents, with whom you cannot choose to live. You have survived and found a new direction in life. As you gain social experience, broaden your knowledge and horizons, and expand your circle of friends, or perhaps after you fall in love, get married, and have children, you will look back on the conflicts between you and your mother and see that the pain was not worth it. Your mother may not be able to change her established language habits and attitude towards life, but you can. You have unlimited room for development. Don't dwell on the pain of the past. You have the opportunity to take off, to repair the family trauma on the path of self-growth, and to live your own wonderful life.

I'm excited to see you flourish like a phoenix! You're a great girl who is sensible, strong, and hardworking.