My parents divorced when I was 6 years old. For many years, I didn't go back to see him, for fear of making my mother angry.

Hi there,

After reading your question, I can see what you're up against and I get where you're coming from.

First of all, when you were a child, your family environment was pretty chaotic and unhealthy. You were still so young at the time that it was completely understandable that you were afraid to express your dissatisfaction. Even if you had said something, it may not have changed your father's behavior or decisions. The fundamental reason for your parents' divorce lies in your father's own problems, not your attitude.

Your father's current situation is disappointing and infuriating, given his past actions. It's understandable that you're angry and want to block him after you gave him money that he spent on other women.

You mentioned you're worried about upsetting your mother if you want to visit your father. You can find a good time to talk to her about your thoughts and feelings. Let her know you have mixed feelings about your father. On the one hand, you're disappointed in his past actions. On the other hand, you're still concerned about him because he's old and weak.

Let your mother know that visiting your father doesn't mean you've forgiven him for what he did, and it's not a betrayal of her. It's just because of the unbreakable bond you have with your family.

You could also think about approaching the issue gradually. For example, you could mention your father's current situation to your mother in a tentative way and then see how she reacts. Or, when you visit your father, try not to make it obvious and avoid telling your mother directly. Then you can wait until the time is right to tell her.

No matter what you decide, it's important to respect your own feelings and consider your mother's emotions. Try to find a balance between the two. I hope you can successfully resolve this dilemma and find peace within yourself.

Wishing you the best!

Your desire to see your relationship-with-his-father-and-feels-very-anxious-what-should-be-done-7353.html" target="_blank">father shows you forgive him. However, you say he "prefers sons to daughters, frequents prostitutes, married and divorced, and has no one to take care of him." You got angry and blocked him. He seems like just a name to you. Why do you love him so much or want to see him?

You need to clarify this answer.

You said you were too shy to express your dissatisfaction. How do you feel about your father trying to prostitute himself in the family? What was your father like to you? You only had a short time together. For a child under 6, they may not have understood things fully. Maybe your dissatisfaction came from your parents' confrontation, not the matter itself.

Do you still feel resentment? Do you have the courage?

Do you understand why your mother won't forgive? It seems like your father is consistent. You blocked him, but you still want to see him. Is there a reason?

You don't mention your mother much. It sounds like you grew up with her, and you want to visit your father, but she doesn't forgive. If you have a reason to go, and she won't compromise, you have to choose.

You don't know what to do because you feel they're equally important.

What do you think of your father? It's a bit confusing.

You still hope for reconciliation and don't want a divorce. Is this what you think and regret?

Do you want to find out what happened because you wish you had said something differently? Is that why you want to go and see for yourself?

This is about you and your parents. What you say won't change anything. Your mother is still determined to stick to her position. Most people will understand and support her. They will say, "Have you grown up yet? Do you still have such unrealistic expectations as a child?"

You need a clearer and stronger reason for any decision.

I wish you happiness.