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By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024
Hello! I'm sending you a warm hug from afar.
I am glad you asked for help. I am confident that what I have shared will provide you with the support and help you need.
From your description, it's clear that your parents' lack of understanding and acceptance has caused you a great deal of pain. They treated you this way not because you're not good enough, but because playing with your phone distracted you from your studies. This behavior may have triggered a traumatic experience in your parents' early lives, causing them to feel anxiety and panic. When they didn't recognize their own trauma, they unintentionally projected it onto you.
When you realize that your parents' emotional state and verbal behavior have deeply hurt you, you can bravely and sincerely tell them directly in that moment your true emotional feelings and needs. That is, you can tell them how you long to be treated. But you must not judge their verbal behavior. You must simply express the true emotional feelings in your heart at that moment. This way, they will clearly realize that their verbal behavior has deeply hurt you and that you cannot be treated this way.
Let's be real. You can't express your true emotions when your parents hurt you because you've internalized their treatment. You think you're not good enough. This makes you feel helpless and powerless when they're verbally abusive.
Write an emotional diary. Record your feelings of injustice and anger caused by your parents' lack of understanding. This helps you to better get along with this part of your emotions, to perceive, experience, and feel, and to sort out the real needs behind your emotions. Write a letter to your parents. Express the harm their words and actions have caused you, and how you long to be treated.
This is also a way for you to express yourself and make your emotions visible.
I am Lily, the little listener at the Q&A Pavilion. The world and I love you.
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Comments
I'm really sorry that you're feeling this way, but it's important to talk to someone who can help. Maybe we could find a way to explain your phone use to your parents and set some clear boundaries together.
It sounds like you're under a lot of pressure. Have you considered talking to a counselor or a teacher about how you feel? They might be able to offer some support and guidance.
Feeling misunderstood by your parents can be really tough. What if we tried to have a calm conversation with them and explained how much stress you're under? Sometimes they just need to understand your side too.
Your feelings are valid, and it's okay to seek help. There are professionals who specialize in helping teens deal with these kinds of issues. You don't have to go through this alone.
Life can be incredibly hard sometimes, especially when you feel isolated. Reaching out to friends or joining a support group might help you feel less alone and more supported.