My sister has been under a lot of stress in the past year and has suicidal thoughts. How can I intervene effectively?

Hello, I just wanted to say hello to you, my dear child.

You remind me of the little boy Tony from the movie "The Shining" I watched yesterday. He was so sensitive to danger and used his intuition to save himself and his mother from his deranged father. I applaud your thoughtfulness and understanding, your vigilance, and I feel for the pressure you are under. Your parents are not around, and you should be receiving the care of your sister, but instead you have to do things beyond your years.

In addition to seeking external support, it's also important to take care of yourself.

What can you do to help your sister?

I'm not sure how you ended up on the Yixin platform, but I'm happy you did. It seems like your sister could really benefit from counseling. Based on what you told me, she seems to be struggling with depression. It's important to remember that we're not experts, so it's best to leave professional matters to the professionals. I'm not sure where you are or what counseling agencies you're familiar with, but I'd recommend reaching out to your sister's school or classmates. This is a serious situation, so it's good to have a support system in place. While foreign counselors may have great technical skills, they might not be able to fully understand your sister's situation due to cultural differences. Yixin has a great selection of psychotherapists, so you're sure to find someone who can help.

Ultimately, it's up to you whether or not to tell your parents. If they're used to criticizing and evaluating and lack the ability to empathize, it might be best to keep it to yourself for now. I trust that you'll be able to weigh the pros and cons as you see fit.

[Helping my sister find her strengths and resources]

I came across an article by Zeng Qifeng today called "16 Ways to Limit Yourself." It really resonated with me. Mr. Zeng talks about how depression can limit us: grief isn't self-limiting, but it can be a temporary self-limitation; depression is self-limiting.

Depression is a diffuse sense of low self-worth, which leads to self-attack. In our culture, which isn't divided, there might be a performative aspect to all symptoms, such as filial piety.

People tend to view manic behavior as superficial and childish, while depression is seen as more mature and profound.

Your sister's performance shows she doesn't see her own advantages and resources. She also blames herself too much. You can participate in a challenge activity with her on the Yi Xinli platform. You'll discover the bright spots in yourself for 30 days without repeating them. You can express to your sister your need for her. This will help awaken her sense of responsibility. You can tell your sister that you especially need her encouragement and recognition. You can work together to discover the bright spots in each other every day. You can write them out, draw them, and post them on the wall. This approach will definitely work. Providing your sister with this kind of support will definitely help her achieve a transformation.

I'm a psychologist, Zhang Huili. I hope my answer helps. I want to say again how much I admire your kindness, courage, and sense of responsibility. Don't worry about being alone. The world and I love you.

Dear question asker,

From reading your question, it is evident that you have a profound concern for your sister and a strong affection for her. At the same time, it is distressing to observe the immense pain she is currently experiencing, as well as the unfortunate reality that you, at a relatively young age, are burdened with the responsibility of supporting her.

It is evident that you possess an understanding of the underlying causes of your sister's predicament. Your parents have set high expectations for her, and she has internalized these expectations to a similar degree. Your introverted personality has not been fully appreciated by your parents, and now she is facing the dual pressures of academic and professional responsibilities. It is noteworthy that you have developed such an acute comprehension of these factors at a relatively young age.

It is important to note, however, that such a significant burden should not be borne by you alone. Your anxiety is unlikely to be helpful to your sister. Given that your sister has expressed a desire to die, it is clear that she views you as her closest person. Furthermore, discussing these feelings can provide an outlet for her emotions. Research has shown that individuals who have spoken about their suicidal thoughts are less likely to engage in suicidal behaviors.

If feasible, it would be beneficial to allocate additional time for conversation, allowing the individual to express negative emotions and attempt to provide humor as a coping mechanism. However, it is crucial to avoid internalizing excessive negativity. Additionally, it is essential to identify strategies for managing one's own emotions.

As an alternative, one may consider recording one's emotions in writing, seeking counsel from a trusted individual, or engaging in online communication.

In regard to your parents, you may simply inform them that your sister is currently experiencing significant stress and request that they refrain from placing additional pressure on her. If communication with your parents is challenging, it may be advisable to limit interactions with them.

In the event that the individual in question resides outside of their country of origin, it would be prudent to ascertain whether there are any other trustworthy relatives or friends in the vicinity. Should such individuals exist, it would be permissible to seek their assistance as required.

It is unclear which country this is taking place in. However, if it is a developed country, then psychological counseling should be a relatively common practice. It would be beneficial to seek advice from your sister, express your concern and worry for her, and accompany her to the psychologist. This may be the most suitable method.

My name is Haru Aoki, and I extend my sincerest regards to you all.

Dear Classmate,

When you encountered such a situation while studying abroad and you couldn't discuss it with your parents, you suddenly found yourself in a position where you were the one who needed care, and your sister was the one who needed to be taken care of. This must have required a great deal of inner strength and resilience, which is something that those who are not in your situation may not fully comprehend.

It's not uncommon for people studying abroad to focus on the positive aspects of their experience. While this can be a natural aspect of independence, it's also important to recognize that there are times when your parents' guidance and support are essential. When something significant arises, it's crucial to allow your parents to step in and provide the guidance and support they're there to offer.

You might consider taking the initiative to take your sister shopping or out, as a way of creating opportunities for her to get out of her emotional slump. You've already done so much! Foreign universities or high schools often have psychological counselors who can accompany your sister to get professional help.

If it is only a temporary depression, we can generally self-regulate. However, you mentioned that your sister has been depressed for two months, so it would be helpful to find out if she has a tendency to depression. A psychological counselor can provide more helpful recommendations or psychological counseling. This way, you can also find out what has happened in your sister's life that has made her so depressed. In severe cases, your parents may be able to help you.

I hope this message finds you well. I just wanted to send you some love and remind you of the principles of companionship that you can try.

In a previous response to the question "How do I care for someone with depression?", I put together a few ideas on how you can provide companionship. You might find them helpful:

1. It would be helpful to try to understand your sister's true situation and learn to communicate in a way that is more supportive. For example, you could say something like, "You are very important to me," "No matter what, I will be by your side," or "Do you want to talk about it?" It's important to remember that your sister needs your support, not your solutions.

2. It might be best to avoid saying things like "I understand" or "be strong." These words may sound like they are meant to comfort the other person, but from the other person's perspective, they might hear "I'm not strong" or "she doesn't understand what pain I'm going through at all."

3. It would be helpful to be aware of any danger signals, such as signs of self-harm, self-injury or suicidal thoughts.

It may be helpful to seek the intervention of a professional counselor or psychologist in a timely manner. In some cases, inpatient treatment may be necessary.

4. It would be helpful to work on your own anxiety. It's important to remember that recovery from depression takes time. We may feel frustrated at times during the process of accompanying her. It might be best to avoid expressing your anxiety directly to her, as she may not be able to handle our emotions when she is in a depressed state.

It would be beneficial for the person accompanying her to learn more about ways to relieve stress, so as to avoid becoming overwhelmed.

5. You might gently urge her to consider seeking treatment. If she refuses to see a psychiatrist, you could perhaps choose a general practitioner who recommends seeing a psychologist or receiving psychological counseling and taking medication.

You might also consider asking your parents to look into the possibility of finding a psychological counselor in China who could provide online counseling and treatment. These are all ways to help your sister recover.

6. It may be unhelpful to repeatedly emphasise that she is sick. It might be more beneficial to encourage her to maintain and extend her normal social functions, social roles, etc., such as continuing her daily course of study, interacting with her classmates, teachers, and friends, etc.

You might like to try these principles, and with the help of a professional psychological counselor, your sister will gradually get better. It might also be helpful to pay more attention to whether your own stress level is overloaded, and allow your parents to take on the responsibilities they should in such situations.

I would like to extend my heartfelt congratulations to you.

Hello!

It's hard to give advice on your sister's mental state in just 400 words. I hope we can chat and explore more options together when you feel scared and helpless.

Tell the guardian what's going on.

Your sister has been in a bad mental state for several months. She has been having trouble sleeping, feeling like the days and nights are reversed, losing her appetite and interest in things, and thinking about suicide. This is serious, and you can't handle it alone. Tell your guardians abroad and your parents in China right away. Make a plan to support and help your sister.

You can also tell your sister what you're worried about and ask her what she needs.

Find local resources.

Your sister is introverted, doesn't like talking, and has no interests. It seems that her support system is weak. Therefore, when she is in a psychological predicament, it is difficult for her to find comfort.

Is there anyone else who can help your sister? For example, classmates, teachers, friends, or relatives.

You can also look up the local psychological assistance hotline and relevant institutions, such as a nearby hospital or psychological counseling institution, so your sister can get professional help when needed.

[How to handle stress]

Your sister is under a lot of pressure, and so are you. You have to go to school and worry about her. Eat well and sleep well. Then, go outside for half an hour. Do some meditation or listen to music before bed. Relax!

I hope you and your sister will take care of yourselves while abroad and do well in school!

Dear Question Owner,

As a minor and a student abroad, far from your parents, the feeling of being away from home is already distressing. However, you are now facing your own studies while also supporting your sister, who is about to graduate and find employment. I empathize with your situation and extend my support.

Your sister is currently experiencing significant stress, compounded by the expectation of perfection. Her responsibilities, including postgraduate studies and job hunting, are considerable. However, her ability to confide in you is a testament to the support she finds in you. The opportunity to discuss these challenges has likely provided her with a sense of relief.

I can discern your attentiveness and efforts in accompanying your sister. You have done an admirable job. You consistently demonstrate consideration for her living conditions, offer support, and endeavor to provide guidance, such as encouraging her to venture out and engage in shopping activities. Additionally, you have made a commendable effort to ascertain her interests. Your actions are commendable and sufficient.

In addition to the pain, I empathize with the pressure you are experiencing. It would be beneficial for your parents to be present in this situation. However, your parents lack understanding of your sister's circumstances and are not in the same country. Consequently, you are reluctant to inform them, fearing that doing so might exacerbate the situation. Your decision is understandable, yet I advise you to consider contacting your parents more frequently.

It is not necessary to divulge all of your thoughts and feelings about your sister to your parents. Instead, maintain regular contact with them and discuss your lives, meals, activities, and other typical topics. For instance, if your sister is unable to sleep at night and you have completed your homework, you can use this time to engage in conversation with your parents. This approach may be beneficial.

It is crucial to bear in mind that we either divulge our concerns to our parents or maintain communication with them about our lives. In my opinion, the current situation is optimal. Furthermore, if you are acquainted with a psychologist, you may consider consulting with one independently and requesting assistance.

It is presumed that you are aware of the appropriate manner in which to pose inquiries on this platform, and that you possess a vast reservoir of knowledge. It is also assumed that you are a sociable individual. Consequently, you may wish to consider leveraging your network to ascertain whether there are potential avenues for enhancing your life with your sister.

For example, one might consider visiting a friend when the opportunity arises, or perhaps watching a relaxing television program, or even singing a song. If the two of you are together, you could invite a friend to join you, or simply have a meal together. It is important to eat regularly, and discussing this with your sister could be beneficial. It is perfectly acceptable to engage in these activities with just the two of you, and incorporating some form of exercise into your routine on a regular basis can significantly enhance your overall well-being.

Following exercise, it is common to feel tired. However, if one eats well, this can lead to feelings of happiness. If these activities are perceived as burdensome, it is important to recognise that there is no need to feel negatively about this. Instead, it may be helpful to simply keep your sister company, which can be a positive act in itself.

It is important to note that the lives of individuals are not always straightforward. It is crucial for siblings to ensure that they are available to provide a supportive and empathetic ear when needed. By creating a safe space for open communication, siblings can facilitate a gradual and controlled emotional recovery. As the situation improves, it is likely that the individual's mood will also improve.

Ultimately, it is my hope that you will be able to utilize your wisdom to provide support to your sister and enhance the richness and diversity of your life in your adopted country.

I extend my warmest regards to you and the world at large.

Good day, question asker. My name is Evan.

The questioner indicated that his sister has depression/ive-had-suicidal-thoughts-since-i-was-a-child-and-now-that-ive-grown-up-i-self-harm-whats-wrong-with-me-10154.html" target="_blank">suicidal thoughts and is seeking to intervene. I would like to extend my support and commend the questioner for his consideration and concern for his sister.

The questioner is facing a significant challenge in supporting her sister, who is experiencing depression and suicidal thoughts. It is a complex situation, and it is understandable that the questioner is struggling to find the right approach. I empathize with the questioner's situation and want to offer my support.

What measures can be taken to provide comfort to my sister in the context of her depression, and how can her suicidal tendencies be addressed?

This necessitates a certain degree of expertise and the input of a qualified medical professional. Attempting to intervene without the requisite skills and resources is likely to prove ineffective.

As the question was posed on an online forum, we are unable to provide detailed advice on how to assist the questioner. However, we can offer some guidance on how to support your sister in overcoming suicidal thoughts. We hope this information will be helpful to you.

It is important to assess your sister's determination to commit suicide.

Has the questioner's sister attempted to discuss with her the idea of escaping pressure by committing suicide, and has she already acted on it or is she still planning it? These can be assessed based on certain phenomena, and in serious cases, the assistance of a psychologist may be necessary.

It is important to ascertain whether your sister has suicidal thoughts, whether she has had any suicidal experiences, who can support her, and what kind of pressure is mainly causing her suicidal thoughts.

If the questioner's sister has no plan and is just acting on impulse, then her suicidal thoughts are not particularly strong. It is important for the questioner to understand that suicide is a complete despair of life. Suicide is a complete despair of the current life, and one feels that death is the only way out.

It is important for the questioner to assess whether their sister is experiencing a sense of desperation regarding her life and her parents. If this is the case, it is essential to pay close attention to her behavior.

It is important to be open and direct when communicating with your sister about suicide.

If the questioner wants to help her sister, the simplest way is to communicate with her more, listen to her, and even ask her directly if she wants to commit suicide, without ambiguity. Inquire about her feelings, the reasons why she wants to commit suicide, and her current situation. Demonstrate understanding and empathy, and provide supportive statements. Avoid directly supporting her in committing suicide.

It is important to maintain regular communication with your sister, express your concerns about her well-being, and actively listen to her without forming judgments. Emphasize to your sister that you are now relying on her for survival in a foreign country, and that you are a minor and require her support and care.

If the questioner can identify a reason for her sister to continue living, it will help to mitigate the strength of her suicidal thoughts.

It may also be helpful to discuss suicide with your sister. This could include the pain of suicide, the shock of jumping off a building, the destruction of internal organs, and the difficulty of dying. In short, it is important to discuss with your sister the pain of death, regardless of the circumstances. It is a difficult topic, but it is important to be open and honest with your sister.

It is essential to be mindful of your sister's emotional state.

If your sister is exhibiting suicidal tendencies, it is imperative that you immediately persuade her that while the situation may be challenging at present, it will improve. Alternatively, if you are experiencing difficulties, it is crucial to emphasise that taking things one day at a time is the optimal solution. It is also vital to reassure her that you will always be available to provide support and guidance. It is essential to maintain consistent communication with your sister at all times. If possible, it is also beneficial to facilitate communication between her and a few of her friends. This ensures that you can consistently engage in positive and constructive dialogue with your sister, regardless of the time of day or week.

Some words may appear to be helpful, but they may actually exacerbate the situation and increase feelings of guilt and shame. For example, suggesting that "tomorrow is another day and things will change for the better" may not be the most appropriate response.

Some words may appear to be helpful, but they may actually exacerbate the suicidal tendencies of the questioner's sister and increase her feelings of guilt and shame. For example, suggesting that "tomorrow is another day and everything will change for the better then" may not be the most appropriate response.

"The situation is not as dire as it may seem. There are many reasons to be grateful for what you have. There are also many opportunities for positive change in your future."

"Please be assured that everything will be fine."

Please contact a professional hotline for assistance.

Should the questioner feel unable to alleviate their sister's suicidal thoughts, they are advised to call the national suicide intervention hotline for assistance. The suicide intervention hotline number is 400-161-9995, or the local emergency hotline.

Student Hotline: 400-161-9995, press 1 Depression Hotline: 400-161-9995, press 2 Life Hotline: 400-161-9995, press 3 China Crisis and Suicide Intervention Center Hotline: 010-62715275 The questioner may contact these hotlines directly or suggest that their sister do so. These hotlines are equipped to intervene effectively against their sister's suicidal ideation.

Should the need arise, be prepared to contact emergency numbers at any time and be ready to intervene by calling the police.

If feasible, the questioner should obtain consent from the sister and accompany her to a psychologist for psychological assistance. A psychologist can intervene directly in the sister's suicidal thoughts and help her overcome her current negative state.

I hope my response is of assistance to the questioner.