No one in the dormitory considers me, and I don't feel good about it. How can I let go?

Greetings. I extend to you a 360-degree embrace.

From the responses to the brief inquiries, it is evident that there are only three individuals residing in the dormitory, with the other two exhibiting a closer affiliation. It appears that you have become an outsider, which may elicit feelings of sadness and depression.

It is a common assumption that students are the most innocent of all social groups. However, school friendships are also a kind of social relationship, and for many people, these relationships are naturally complicated.

A recent news item reported on a female university dormitory with six residents and ten groups. Online commentators expressed concern about the stability of these relationships, suggesting that the situation was a real-life version of the historical Chinese drama Empresses in the Palace.

For someone like me, who lacked even a telephone in the dormitory during my college years, it is difficult to imagine the conversations of six people or ten groups. However, upon reflection, I recall the existence of small groups of eight individuals in our dormitory.

Upon reflection, it becomes evident that there have been instances where groups consisted of two individuals, groups of three, and instances where individuals acted independently, engaged in conflict, and experienced periods of estrangement. Additionally, there have been numerous instances of collective activities within these groups.

The situation you encountered may be more extreme. Additionally, there are only three people, so once two of them form an alliance, the other person will immediately be left out. According to the findings of psychologists, the optimal number of people in a stable small group is between five and nine. Groups with more or fewer individuals than this range are less likely to function effectively.

In many group-like TV dramas, the number of people in a small group is also generally within this range. For example, the five beauties in "Ode to Joy," the four-person group in "Pink Girls" many years ago, and the six-person group in "My Own Swordsman." Additionally, abroad, there are "Sex and the City," "Desperate Housewives," "Friends," "The Big Bang Theory," and "How I Met Your Mother," among others.

This is due to the fact that, in a larger group, if two individuals form an alliance, at least two additional individuals are likely to remain aligned. Similarly, if two individuals engage in conflict, there are often others who can facilitate a resolution.

This kind of team is more resilient. If there are three people, two will form an alliance, leaving the remaining person isolated.

It can be argued that regardless of the number of individuals involved, there will always be someone who is excluded from the group. This phenomenon is likely to occur in a variety of social contexts, particularly among young women, who are often perceived as being more difficult to understand and having more complex personalities.

It is not uncommon for a group of girls to gang up on one girl.

In light of the aforementioned, it can be stated that the situation in question is not uncommon. From a psychological and behavioral standpoint, a team comprising three individuals may exhibit greater rigidity than a team with a larger number of members in certain circumstances.

Such a team is not as resilient or flexible as a team comprising a greater number of individuals.

Let us consider how you should view this situation. I am unaware of your age, but I assume you have recently commenced your studies at the university.

It is necessary to discourage the assumption that other individuals are obliged to consider the emotional state of another person and assume responsibility for that person's sadness.

In other words, the emotional response to another's behavior is a personal matter. The responsibility for one's emotions lies with the individual, regardless of their source.

Furthermore, it is important to acknowledge that we often speculate about the underlying motives behind another person's actions. For instance, you have indicated that they were aware of your emotional state, yet there is a possibility that they were not, or that they were aware but did not consider your feelings to be a priority.

In either case, it is a matter that pertains to other individuals and, as such, is beyond our purview.

It should be noted, however, that this is not the complete picture. It is important to accept that such situations are common between people, that we have no control over the actions of others, and that the other person is under no obligation to meet our expectations.

Concurrently, it is important to recognize that there are no limitations to what we can achieve.

For example, one might joke or inform the other person in a casual manner that they will be invited to dinner next time, noting that it is an unpleasant experience to eat alone. One can also take the initiative to join small groups, rather than waiting for others to discover one's presence and extend an invitation.

Nevertheless, it is important to recognize that expectations are not always met, and that the other person may or may not agree. It is, therefore, essential to accept these situations.

Furthermore, one may choose to engage in social activities with other individuals. It is likely that there are other students in the same class, or one may consider joining a club or other extracurricular activity. In summary, there are alternative options available.

It is recommended that you schedule an appointment with the school counselor to discuss the matter further.

As a counselor, I often find myself oscillating between pessimism and optimism. Nevertheless, I maintain a positive outlook on life.

Everyone can help others by sharing their thoughts. This is our shared energy.

Hello, I'm Xin Tan Coach Fei Yun. You're hurt inside. The group hasn't taken care of your feelings, making you angry. You can't express it, which makes you sullen.

Hug me from a distance. Let's look at the problem that bothers you.

1. The need to be respected and noticed. When this need is not met, it hurts.

Everyone wants to be loved. When we were children, our parents loved us, and we learned to love others.

We bring our parents' patterns into our future relationships. You also have expectations of your roommates, and when they're not met, you feel emotions.

Distinguish between your pain and what you need: respect and attention. Don't suppress your emotions.

Think having emotions is shameful and others won't like it.

Feel your feelings, see your emotions, and allow yourself to have emotions while also seeing your needs fulfilled.

Our relationships with others are based on our relationships with our parents. We also have unmet needs from our parents.

Seeing gives you the right to choose. Love yourself and give yourself what you need.

2. Learn to express yourself, control your emotions, and take the initiative.

Asking for things from others always involves pain. You are handing over the choice to the other person.

No one can control our lives or our emotions. We need to be aware of our patterns. Look outside or inside, and see if you're blaming and complaining or identifying and being grateful.

If they're like this all the time, don't worry. If they're like this sometimes, you can express your feelings and joke around.

Happiness depends on how little you compare it to. The world is beautiful. Don't worry.

Dear child, be happy.

I hope this helps. I love you. ?

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