Not performing the task means no job, and performing it goes against my values, it's tiring what should I do?

Greetings. I am a mindfulness coach. Life is a beautiful journey, not for appreciation, but for growth and development.

I empathize with your predicament. It is analogous to the initial verdict in the "humiliation of the mother" case: legal but unreasonable. Adherence to the leadership's arrangements contravenes your values; non-compliance would contravene the leadership's wishes and affect your job security.

This results in significant internal conflict and disruption, preventing one from achieving a state of peace and tranquility in the present moment.

The brain's need to "rationalize" causes internal conflict.

There are two distinct voices within the individual: the voice of the ideal self, which represents the individual's aspirational self-image, and the voice of the actual self, which represents the individual's current, real-world self.

"Should be": should be honest, should trade fairly and compete fairly, etc. "Is": the boss is not honest, cuts employees' benefits, goes back on his word, implements PUA management, blames others, etc.

A conflict arises between the two, and it is as if there are two distinct entities within the individual's consciousness, engaged in constant conflict and preventing the individual from attaining peace. The brain has an inherent need to rationalize and justify its actions, which requires significant energy expenditure.

There is a finite amount of potential, and engaging in this contradiction depletes one's energy. Consequently, there is a lack of time and energy to pursue more important tasks. Therefore, it is essential to maintain awareness of this internal conflict.

This process of observation and acknowledgment can facilitate the cessation of internal conflict and, consequently, facilitate change.

2. Adopt a more nuanced approach to problem-solving by considering multiple perspectives, thereby increasing the range of potential solutions.

Let us consider the issue from an alternative standpoint. The poem "A ridge seen from the side is a peak; distance and height make a difference" illustrates that there is not a singular, absolute truth to a matter. Altering one's perspective can result in disparate outcomes and afford greater flexibility in decision-making.

You perceive this leader to have "worked his way up" without acquiring a high degree, admirable abilities, or a modern management style. His age and management style elicit strong emotional reactions from you.

If one focuses on the shortcomings and inadequacies of another person, one will inevitably become emotionally distressed, grumbling, complaining, and dissatisfied. Even the most unpresentable person has something to teach us. Even if someone stands on the podium grunting like a pig, it can still be helpful to us. At least I know that next time I stand on the podium, I will resolutely not grunt like a pig.

Given that this leader has attained this position, it is reasonable to conclude that he possesses certain attributes that may be beneficial to emulate. Even if he is not particularly professional, he may excel in defending the interests of his superiors and communicating and reporting. Even if he has poor interpersonal skills with his employees, he may be highly skilled in the art of "painting cakes."

By shifting one's focus and ceasing to dwell on the moral implications of one's actions, it is possible to gradually reduce and eventually eliminate the internal conflict and internal friction that may otherwise arise.

3. It is essential to maintain a positive attitude and utilize it as a means of facilitating self-growth.

"He who knows the times is a hero." It is undoubtedly beneficial to adhere to one's own principles and established standards of conduct, enabling an individual to perform their duties effectively while safeguarding their personal interests. It is imperative to refrain from engaging in any illicit activities, violations of established regulations, or actions that are contrary to the established disciplinary norms. Ultimately, one's life and future are their own responsibility, and it is crucial to ensure their own protection and well-being.

"Everything that happens is for my benefit." With an aware heart and a heart that is willing to learn, one can mature and grow from the people and events one experiences.

Individuals who challenge one's preconceptions and exhibit dissimilarities are likely to prove beneficial. They offer insights that diverge from one's accustomed perspectives, necessitating a state of vigilance to fully benefit from their contributions.

The capacity to hold two disparate perspectives in one's mind without impeding one's approach to a given situation is a measure of an individual's intelligence.

One's "should be" represents merely a past point of view. It is appropriate to cease attachment to one's point of view, and the "should be" is a product of the past. By placing "my point of view" in the past, one creates a space for the future.

One may attempt to situate two disparate perspectives within two distinct temporal frameworks, thereby transforming conflict into confusion.

The following scenario presents a conflict between two values: the desire to follow the leader's arrangements and the need to align one's actions with one's personal values.

The aforementioned individual's experiences, those of the company in question, and the relationship between the company and its customers are unknown to me. Consequently, it is impossible for me to ascertain how this individual formed his particular work model, management model, and approach to things.

It is recommended that you read "A Change of Heart" and "Lifetime Growth" in order to establish a growth mindset and accept a greater variety of experiences.

It is my sincere hope that the above will prove to be of some assistance to you. With best wishes, [Your name]

Should you wish to pursue this dialogue further, you are invited to follow my personal homepage, entitled "Heart Exploration Service."

I believe that the situation described by the original poster is something that many people in the workplace have encountered, including me. I was determined to do a good job, but my leader's arrangements and methods conflicted with my own values, and I felt conflicted and uncomfortable. However, I made a conscious decision to do what the leader asked, but in the process, I would make some of the key decisions myself. This way, I was able to reduce the conflict and discomfort in my heart somewhat.

I successfully avoided conflict with my boss and got to do what I wanted, and although the results were a little different, it was fine.

In the workplace, leaders have more decision-making power than subordinates. When a leader makes an arrangement, you must respond flexibly without hurting the leader's face or making the leader agree with your approach. This requires comprehensive thinking and action. The leader hopes the subordinate will do a good job, and the subordinate hopes the same. Both have the same goal.

Some of the detailed work mentioned by the original poster does not align with my values, and this situation is indeed difficult. However, I believe there are always more ways than difficulties. The key is whether you choose to stand from a personal or corporate perspective, or whether you weigh both equally. Working in such an atmosphere really drains people's energy, so I chose to leave when I really couldn't take it anymore. The reason I did this is also because it was so difficult to resign.

As soon as I walked out of the office, I felt completely relieved.

Everyone has concerns. The original poster cares about the salary and benefits. If you want to keep working here, you must cooperate with the leadership's work arrangements. There's no way around it. This is the rule of the workplace. You can either comply or leave. It's that simple.

In examining the narrative, it becomes evident that the management style and requirements of the leader who was replaced last year have made it challenging for you to adapt and navigate the situation effectively.

If one obeys the leader's directives, one may experience a sense of moral conflict and feelings of guilt and unease regarding the potential adverse effects on others. Conversely, if one chooses not to comply or attempts to alter the leader's approach, the situation may appear challenging, potentially leading to job insecurity.

This state of stagnation is particularly exhausting.

The presence of a "one-man show" and a leadership style characterised by blame and avoidance can indeed result in significant pressure for employees. The perception of being wrongfully criticised for any action, regardless of the circumstances, can lead to feelings of anger and frustration. This is particularly prevalent in situations where there is a perceived imbalance in power dynamics and individuals in relatively weak positions are subjected to unfair treatment. Alternatively, there may be instances where employees experience hidden dissatisfaction with themselves, leading to a sense of helplessness in safeguarding their own interests and needs, and a tendency to internalise the frustration.

In this regard, two perspectives warrant consideration. First, it is important to recognize the objective inequality of power and a certain degree of irrationality in the workplace. For example, individuals with outstanding virtues, abilities, qualifications, and communication skills are not the only ones capable of assuming leadership responsibilities. This phenomenon is not limited to a particular unit but is rather a common experience encountered to a greater or lesser extent throughout one's career. Consequently, when an unsatisfactory environment is encountered, it may be beneficial to interpret it from a universal social perspective and view it as part of the experience.

Subsequently, it is advisable to assess whether, in addition to the new leader, the remaining aspects of the role (e.g., professionalism, job content, compensation and benefits, colleague relationships, training opportunities, and development prospects) align with your expectations.

Furthermore, it may be beneficial to identify any shared objectives or priorities between this leader and yourself and your team. This could include, for instance, key performance indicators (KPIs). By focusing on these common ground areas, you can present your opinions in a way that demonstrates their value to the leader's goals.

Concurrently, it is advisable to document the leader's decisions and arrangements through written communication and confirmation, and to confirm your understanding of them after they assign a task. It is important to recognise that the leader's capacity to change and the specific actions he will take may not be within your control. It is crucial to understand that your working relationship with him is merely a phase in your career, and that your professional development goals and direction are ultimately in your own hands. Regardless of whether you choose to remain in your current position, or to change tracks or companies in the future, it is your prerogative, not his.

It is important to note that the individuals with whom one interacts at work are also confronted with the changes initiated by this leader, just as one is. They, too, will adjust and respond in accordance with their or the company's needs, and one need not bear the burden of these changes alone. There is no need to experience excessive guilt. One can explain the internal changes to suppliers or partners and coordinate within one's capabilities. In regard to other uncertain factors, it is advisable to request that these be addressed by the relevant parties.

Ultimately, it is crucial to maintain a balanced perspective on work. While it is an integral aspect of life, it should not be the sole focus. It is essential to identify sources of stimulation and energy outside of work, such as social support, hobbies, and the pursuit of new skills.

Hello! I can see that you work on an overseas corporate project, and that the company leader is older and has an outdated management style, which causes problems in managing employees and makes you feel uncomfortable. It seems like the leader's approach doesn't align with your values, which is totally understandable! I can see that you're worried about losing your stable job and are unable to make changes, which is completely normal.

I can see that this situation has caused you to feel lots of different, complex emotions and internal conflict, which has unfortunately affected your work efficiency. I can really feel the complex emotions of anger, guilt, helplessness, and confusion.

It's totally understandable to feel dissatisfied with your leader's management style. It can be really frustrating when you're unable to change the situation, especially when it makes you feel powerless.

It's totally normal to feel guilty about your actions in a work environment like this. It can lead to a backlog of negative emotions. Unfortunately, a leader like this is really not worth following, and meeting such a leader will really undermine your confidence. If you are in such an environment for a long time, it is easy to make you doubt yourself.

However, it's a good thing that your leader can assign you work. It shows that you're still very important to the company and that he trusts you. So don't doubt yourself because of his behavior, and don't become resentful of the job.

When we're feeling down, it's always a good idea to get some exercise or listen to some music to help us feel better. And when you're feeling tired and out of energy, it's a great idea to go for a walk to clear your mind.

When you're feeling angry, take a few deep breaths to calm down. You can also talk to your leader about your thoughts on their management style.

Think about how you can handle this situation. You might be able to find a new role that's a better fit for you. Stay positive and find joy in your work.

Wishing you all the best!

It can be tough when you have to do work that doesn't align with your personal values. Let me give you an example to illustrate the problem.

If you think in terms of an "ecosystem," you can find more balanced and sustainable solutions. Here's an example:

Let's say you're a food salesperson, but you have to promote certain unhealthy products with a lot of sugar at work, and you're all about healthy eating. In this case, you can use these strategies from an ecosystem perspective:

1. Think about the big picture. Look at the impact of promoting unhealthy products with added sugar on society's health, the environment, and so on. This can help you think more comprehensively and find solutions that are more in line with the overall interests.

2. Find a balance: When promoting sugary products, try to find a balance. For example, you could encourage the company to develop a healthier product line or launch a healthy eating campaign at the same time to balance out the negative impact of unhealthy products.

3. Get some outside help. Think about bringing in health experts and social organizations to talk about how to balance personal values and company interests in promotional work and find more sustainable solutions.

4. Continuous reflection and adjustment: Think about what you're doing and why, change your promotion strategies when you need to, and make sure you're following your personal health ideas at work while doing your work.

If you think about your work in the context of the whole ecosystem, consider the overall impact, and find a balance, you'll be better able to handle tasks that don't align with your personal values while promoting sustainable development of society and individuals.

On top of that, when you're dealing with a boss who has a pretty unreasonable management style, you need to figure out what you can change and what you can't. A leader's management style might be pretty set in stone, but you can still handle the situation by adjusting your own attitudes and behaviors.

First, we need to figure out what we can and can't control. We can't change the leadership management style, but we can deal with the situation by changing how we interact with others.

This means we need to change our mindset, stay positive and optimistic, and be patient and tolerant. We also need to manage our emotions and avoid letting negative emotions affect our work and relationships with others.

When dealing with others, we can let them know that this is a decision made by the company's leadership, express how helpless we feel, explain our position and mood, and avoid unnecessary misunderstandings and negative emotions. In communication, we can be proactive and try to maintain good communication and cooperative relationships with others.

This means listening to what others have to say, respecting their views, and staying calm and rational when dealing with conflicts and problems.

At the same time, you can also talk to your team members to help them understand your situation better and reduce any negative emotions. You can do this through regular team meetings, one-to-one chats, or team-building activities.

In these situations, we can talk about our work experiences and share our confusion, ask for help and support from others, and work together to solve problems.

We can also give some tips and suggestions within reason to let the other person prepare in advance, so you don't feel guilty and everyone can work well together. In this case, we need to pay attention to the way and attitude to avoid misunderstanding or causing trouble to others.

For instance, you can bring up potential issues and past examples to help them handle the problems caused by your leadership. This can improve your relationship with others and help the team work better together.

Dealing with the complex relationship with your leader and all that goes with it is tough. It's normal to feel drained. But if you can clearly analyze each issue and choose the best option to minimize losses, there's no need to feel drained.

It's important to remember that when it comes to your relationship with your leader, you need to think about the pros and cons and choose the best option to minimize losses and put yourself in the best position. This means that you need to carefully assess the impact of each decision, consider long-term benefits and short-term costs, and find a balance.

If you can do this, you'll have no more internal conflicts because you'll have found the best way to solve the problem.

I hope you can handle your relationships with your colleagues, stay positive, and keep improving your communication and problem-solving skills. This will help you develop your personal career and contribute to the team's success.

Good morning, my name is Strawberry, and I appreciate the opportunity to be here today.

During our formative years in school, we were taught that upon entering the workforce, we would be free to act according to our own volition. However, upon entering the workforce, we quickly realized that regardless of age, we are not always in control of our actions.

Real-world challenges

In today's business environment, ability is no longer the sole determining factor in career advancement. Individuals with substantial financial resources and influence can often secure positions of authority. The questioner noted that his leader is relatively advanced in age and lacks formal education, yet he has become a prominent figure in the company.

It should be noted that despite the lack of formal education of the questioner's leader, he has demonstrated remarkable abilities in interpersonal and practical matters. It is evident that the attainment of certain statuses cannot be achieved solely through prolonged employment. To gain the confidence of those in positions of authority, it is essential to possess a certain degree of strength and the ability to meet their requirements.

His management philosophy is outdated. The boss is primarily concerned with profitability and employee management, and is therefore reluctant to take a strong stance on issues. On occasion, he may even be aware of employee concerns but choose to ignore them.

This is the confidence of the questioner's leader. The upper level has not made a strong statement, and although the lower level has complaints, no one has actually rebelled against his actions. Even if there are a few people, he has his own way of solving it. After all, he usually knows how to deflect blame and circumvent PUA.

His behavior and approach to things are incongruent with the values of most people. The questioner is reluctant to follow his lead, but is compelled to do so due to class and other factors. The physical implementation and inner resistance have caused the questioner to experience internal conflict.

What is the best way to adjust?

Furthermore, there are numerous instances in the workplace where our actions are not within our direct control. When confronted with decisions that conflict with our personal values, it is not that we are disinclined to follow our hearts, but rather that, in practice, we must still consider a range of practical factors.

☀️Emotional relief: The questioner's lack of choice at work is not a reflection of their personal preference, but rather a consequence of the leader's actions and behaviors that contribute to an unfavorable work environment. In the current economic climate, the questioner's options are limited, and they are compelled to accept a position that does not align with their personal preferences.

In the event of continued employment, it is often necessary to confront the negative impact of a leader on an individual's emotional state, leading to internal conflict. It is essential to identify effective methods for emotional release in order to maintain a positive outlook and effectively address challenges.

It is important to find ways to release emotions and avoid prolonged negative states. This can be achieved through various means, including talking to someone you trust, singing and shouting, exercising to increase dopamine, going out and appreciating the beauty around you, and so on. It is essential to identify methods that suit you and facilitate the release of emotions.

☀️Transform yourself: The questioner stated that the leader is someone who does not consider other opinions, which indicates a lack of flexibility and openness to input. He believes that his decisions are always correct and that his subordinates are solely responsible for executing them. If they fail to meet expectations or encounter difficulties, he attributes this to their shortcomings rather than to any shortcomings in his leadership.

Individuals who do not reflect on their own actions and behaviors may be resistant to change from others. The workplace is not a place where emotions are a primary factor. The modern workplace is also very realistic. Even if you are capable, you may not necessarily be retained. It is also important to be able to read people's expressions and adapt to your leader's style.

The questioner is unable to alter the leader's approach or align with their methods, yet is compelled to adhere to them. However, the questioner has the option to modify their own perspective. As a professional role, the questioner can maintain a degree of autonomy when executing tasks assigned by the leader.

It is also advisable to maintain a certain distance from your leader, whether at work or not. This will help to ensure the stability of your position and financial security.

☀️Weighing up the pros and cons: The work atmosphere in the current position is rather unusual, and the leader's questionable moral character influences the questioner in terms of their values and emotions, creating a conflict between executing tasks and adhering to moral principles. This internal conflict, along with the negative emotions it generates, is a significant challenge.

It is important to consider the reality that the economic situation requires you to continue in this role. You are working towards a positive financial outcome, so in addition to the above, is there something motivating about this job?

If there is no alternative, it is important to consider whether maintaining financial stability or overworking yourself to the point of physical and mental collapse is the more important consideration. The best way forward is to follow your heart, believe in yourself, affirm your abilities, and find the option that suits you best.

I hope my response is useful to the individual who posed the question. Best of luck!

Hi Houpu,

We understand your problem: you can't do a good job in your current position, and you're emotionally drained. Let's explore together to see what ideas can solve this.

[The reality of the dilemma]

You don't think the work you're doing is right, but you have to do it.

You feel angry and resentful.

You think:

1. You are reasonable and correct. Breaking promises and being dishonest affects your credibility, the company's image, and long-term cooperation.

The leader is not competent. He is not well educated, has outdated ideas, is a one-man show, is not responsible for what he says, changes his mind, and does not listen to opinions.

You don't want to work for this leader.

You want to work with a leader who shares your values. You can't coordinate the conflicting interests of the various parties at work. You want to change leaders and jobs, but you are unwilling to take the risk of changing jobs.

Your underlying emotion is fear. Not trusting yourself can help you resolve conflicts, but you are afraid of the consequences of making a choice, so you are stuck.

You can choose to improve your coordination or change jobs.

[Psychological Dilemma]

Your conflict with your leader reflects your inner conflict. You can grow by dealing with this.

I hope this helps.

I'm your neighbor. Thanks for your attention.

Dear Sir/Madam, I hope this message finds you well. I am contacting you because I have a question regarding the matter you previously raised. Thank you in advance for your attention to this matter. Kind regards,

If you could spare a moment to offer a warm handshake, I would be most grateful.

I hope I can offer some insight into the situation you're facing. It seems that you work in an overseas project of the company. Due to a change in company leadership last year, the individual in question is relatively old and not very educated. However, with his seniority and time, he has also become the company leader. His management philosophy is somewhat outdated. Internally, he uses coercive management and makes all the decisions himself. He often scolds the employees, cuts costs from the employees in various ways, and goes back on his words. He sometimes forgets the decisions and arrangements he made himself and then blames the people who carry them out for doing it this way. In fact, he arranged it, but he just forgot about it himself.

Both the sales and purchasing sides of the company have very conservative ways of thinking. I belong to the purchasing department, and under his command, I am sometimes asked to do work that goes against my principles. I feel that it is not entirely consistent with my own values. I really don't want to do it, but because of the economic pressure, I don't want to lose this stable job. So I do it, but I feel very uncomfortable, and I wonder if there might be a way to find a solution that would be more in line with my personal values. The whole company atmosphere is very strange. I feel indignant inside, and my emotions are very complex when doing things: anger at the leader's arrangements, guilt towards others, and helplessness towards myself... All kinds of complex emotions lead to internal friction and affect efficiency. Over time, a lot of negative energy builds up, and I get especially low moods, feeling very tired and not wanting to move, doing things without energy.

"If it isn't an imposition, could you possibly offer some advice on how to adjust it?"

The questioner read your story. It seems that you have encountered a leader at work who is causing you some distress, and you are unsure of how to proceed. While psychology cannot provide a solution, I can offer some suggestions for adjusting your mentality. You may wish to try these out and see if they help.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider that things can be divided into three categories: your own business, other people's business, and God's business. Even though you work together, you can still have your own choices in the face of things. For instance, the leader might ask you to do something, and then in the process of doing it, you can also have your own choices. In TV dramas, it is often shown that a rich and powerful person asks a killer to kill someone, but the killer, out of compassion, exiles the orphan instead. This is in the face of a powerful environment, but still does not go against one's inner feelings. So in this situation, without being noticed by others, you also have the choice to be true to your heart. This is your own business. Regarding the boss's business, he might not be as competent as he could be, and he is more likely to pua others. When you think this is all bad, it is also what helped him get to the position of leader. Of course, I know you don't care about having it, but it might be helpful to know yourself and your enemy is the key to victory in every battle. Having such a leader, you could try learning how to get along with him, and learning to survive under his pua. You could still live better, and you could even surpass him in ability and become his leader. This is the direction you might want to consider working towards. Could giving up really solve problems?

In light of these considerations, it seems reasonable to conclude that while we are responsible for our own actions, the outcome of other events may be influenced by factors beyond our control.

As I mentioned previously, it is important to distinguish between our own actions, the actions of others, and the actions of a higher power. While the consequences of our actions may not be immediately apparent, they can have a lasting impact. I believe in the concept of cause and effect, and I respect that every action, regardless of its intent, has a ripple effect on our lives and the lives of those around us. Ultimately, each individual is responsible for their own choices and actions.

Secondly, it would be advisable to adjust your state of mind. In a dangerous situation, it is important to maintain control of your emotions, as a loss of composure could potentially lead to an unfavourable outcome. Engaging in activities such as exercise or meditation can help to calm the mind and facilitate more objective decision-making, particularly in high-risk scenarios.

I think that's everything for now. I hope the world and I can continue to love you.

Hello. From what you have shared, it seems there may be some conflict and feelings of helplessness.

As a psychological counselor, I would like to offer my understanding from a psychological perspective.

It seems that the main issue you're facing is your relationship with your current leader, which is causing you a great deal of discomfort.

Your leader displays some personality traits that could be perceived as narcissistic and paranoid. It seems that he tends to believe that his thoughts and abilities can control those around him. You seem to have mixed feelings about his leadership abilities, but you need the job and have to do things you don't like according to his wishes. How might you deal with and adjust your inner feelings in this situation?

It would be helpful to start by taking some time to understand yourself better. This might involve thinking about your character traits and how they affect your relationship with your parents.

It might be helpful to consider whether your colleagues have similar feelings about this leader's management style. Could there be a parallel between this and your relationship with your parents?

It might be helpful to consider expressing your repressed emotions, exploring the conflicts you're unable to express, and learning to navigate the different options for responding to these challenges, such as repression, aggression, or helplessness. Additionally, seeking psychological counseling can be a valuable step in understanding yourself better.

Secondly, it may be helpful to accept the facts. When it is not possible to change the current situation, it may be beneficial to adjust your perception, accept it, and adjust yourself accordingly.

Could I ask you to consider whether there is anything about your leader that you recognize and approve of? You might like to communicate with your colleagues, or discuss the current work conflict with your children. It might be helpful to express your inner feelings, communicate and exchange without judgment, and find a different or multidimensional understanding.

Third, do your job well. It may be helpful to change your perception and view your leader as an ally rather than an adversary. Working together to complete tasks assigned by your leader, showing respect, expressing curiosity, communicating more, and reaching a consensus with your leader can help you achieve common goals and enhance your economic value.

I believe that the world and I love you, and I think it's important to learn to love yourself too. In the workplace, it's also helpful to learn to restrain your individual characteristics, communicate better, and coordinate relationships with respect, empathy, and attention. This can help achieve a win-win situation. I think it's something we can all work on together.

1. Do what you can, including your work scope and your life scope, such as studying.

You will set clear boundaries and not be disturbed by unreasonable or unethical demands. When you are capable of doing something, you will not accept anything less than your best.

2. Spend as much time as possible on things that you know are worthwhile.

Invest your time in projects that you find useful. Invest your energy in learning from people who excel at work in certain units.

3. You can and should try to roughly judge the purpose of your leader.

4. Get the information you need before you're led.

5. Before your leader assigns you a task, find out what he needs and what the next step of the job requires due to the nature of the industry.

6. You're working, so there are bound to be things you don't know. You need to learn on your own. Think one step ahead and three steps backward. If you can deal with things in advance, you'll get the results you want.

People can become people of different occupations, people of different abilities, and people with different skills through long-term learning, due to their own cognitive abilities.

Your ability to be passive at work depends on your ability to learn and respond in advance. Before doing something, you must consider the effort you will put in and the return you will get.

You need to decide how much energy you are going to invest in achieving your goal.

8. You can't be influenced by your leader as long as you devote your energy to other things, including your work. Even if he's deliberately stirring things up, you'll be fine as long as you deal with it in advance.

Hello, I am ZQ, a heart exploration coach from the Yixinli platform. I can see that in your current job in the overseas project department of your company, you have encountered a lot of difficulties. The main source of these difficulties is your company's leadership. I want to know if your company has a reporting system of some kind.

If the leader has a problem or their decision-making is problematic, the employees below can give feedback and anonymous suggestions. This way, suggestions won't come from the immediate leader but from a higher-level leader who will pay attention to this matter.

You must also make critical suggestions to your immediate supervisor to make certain adjustments to the company's overall operations. This will allow you to give better suggestions than your employees. In this case, the conflict will no longer be with you, and it will no longer be about whether you can persuade and motivate this leader.

Ultimately, it depends on whether the higher-ups in the company can control this leader. You currently feel that if you don't execute the orders of your immediate leader, you won't have a job. However, if you do, you will always feel guilty because it goes against your values. This is because this leader is consistently inconsistent, never remembers the things he said he would do, and always shifts the blame.

This leader is irresponsible. He likely came to this position for a reason, and he has his own methods. He may say that these methods reduce costs, but they also have a negative impact.

It's clear that working under him does not instill much trust or a sense of security. There is also not much happiness to speak of. There's no doubt about it: under such a leader, the atmosphere in the entire company will be rather gloomy. Everyone may be trembling with fear that they may be blamed the next second.

Or you may have done some useless work, and such work is basically meaningless. If employees survive and work in such an environment for a long time, they will experience emotional problems, leading to boredom at work or a feeling of fatigue in life.

If you can't leave this job for the time being, you need to make some inner adjustments. Talk about it. Talk to a psychotherapist, counselor, or heart coach. Find solutions on your own, too, like anonymous reporting.

Don't worry about how this job actually works. Just do your job well. The specific orders will come from the higher-ups, so organize all the evidence and store it on a USB drive. This will show that you are someone who conveys orders.

You are just an ordinary person and employee who carries out the orders of your superiors. You are not the leader who made the wrong decision. If someone is ultimately going to be punished, then this leader is definitely the culprit.

Do your own thing in this job. You don't really want to do it, so just do your own thing.

You have convictions, and you should stick to them. Maintain your values and judgments, and decide if you can leave when the time is right or if you can replace him. Think about how to improve the company's operating system. Have your own perspective and an open mind. Good luck!

ZQ?

Hello. I am a heart exploration coach, and I am going to give you some advice.

From your written description, I can tell that you are a person who takes their work very seriously and values their sincerity and integrity. He may be fine with repeatedly changing his mind about the work assigned by his leader, but now he is affecting you.

As the one responsible for conveying information to others, you are the one who is affected by his changing ideas. It is clear that he has no regard for your feelings. If he comes up with one idea, he may change his mind the next second. It is inevitable that you will be the one who suffers.

In this kind of situation, there is one thing we absolutely must understand. Who is expressing this?

Let me be clear: who is the initiator of the event? Let's take an example.

Your leader asked the colleagues below to first do plan A, and you conveyed this at the time. However, in the afternoon he asked you to convey that the colleagues below should do plan B. This was an inappropriate request, and you were right to feel embarrassed.

You have already expressed your opinion once. In life, you have to be sincere and reliable when you speak. You are not satisfied with your leader's approach because he keeps changing his mind.

Your current leader may not be as good as you are or as good as the person in your mind who can be your leader, except for seniority and years of experience. You are not satisfied with him.

You are dissatisfied with him, and his outdated views and tendency to change his mind make everything he does cause you to feel uncomfortable, unhappy, and resistant. This is the fundamental reason.

As for the colleague below, you have repeatedly asked him to make changes and adjustments, and he will be unhappy. You don't want him to be unhappy because you know the problem comes from your leadership.

As the intermediary, you are like a sandwich in this case, which is difficult to handle. What should we do in this situation?

We must do a good job of attributing problems to the right person.

For example, if the leader repeatedly asks someone to make changes, we must look at the matter objectively. The leader wants to make adjustments, so we must do it that way. It's the leader's decision. We should establish a link between the leader and the colleague, rather than trying to digest the changes in the middle.

We are unsure if the colleagues below will be dissatisfied with the repeated changes made by the leader.

We may have prematurely defined some ideas for others and drawn conclusions. But let's think about it: many people are happy to do the work assigned by their leaders and understand adjustments.

We are in a different position from other colleagues. Even if other colleagues have complaints, the leader is the one who issued the order, not you.

As intermediaries, we do this through the arrangements of the leaders. We don't have to take on excessive responsibility; we just have to convey it.

If it involves communication between the two of them, let them communicate directly. Don't try to guess what the other person means and then relay it to the other party after processing it. It's not accurate.

You are responsible for making everyone feel at ease, but as a leader, our subordinates must follow.

As employees, we will inevitably have complaints when faced with the arrangements of our leaders. Some people will accept them with an open mind, while others will not. In this case, we should not try to guess other people's thoughts too much. We should simply convey them. This leader was recently replaced.

Also, do you have a rule that changes leaders every few years? If so, you'll be promoted or have a job change after a few years, and you won't be under his leadership anymore. Don't put too much pressure on yourself.

You should also consider whether you can make an adjustment to your current position. If possible, you can operate and adjust your position and move around a bit, which is also good for you.

I am confident that the above content will be helpful to you. While we can have opinions about the practices and behaviors of leaders, it is up to them how they do it, and we should not interfere too much.

We can put ourselves in the position of a leader to see how a leader deals with a certain matter and use it as practice. You will not be ruled out as a leader in the future.

Then you must decide how you want to treat your employees at that time, and what kind of leader you want to be.

You can learn a valuable lesson from his behavior that you find objectionable. You can avoid this in the future.

Look at it this way and you'll feel more open and optimistic.

I encourage you to bring your confusion and questions, organize your thoughts, click on my personal homepage, and ask me questions. I will help you alleviate your current emotions and give you advice on your future career plan.

I will then wait for your reply and wish you all the best.

As a career planner with 24 years of experience in cross-industry management consulting, I will provide a concise response to the original poster's inquiry.

Qu Jin is a physician with nearly a decade of experience. The technology in her field is rapidly evolving, and she is acutely aware that in the future, her expertise will no longer be the sole determining factor in her professional success. Consequently, she is experiencing a range of negative emotions, including burnout, and is grappling with uncertainty in this rapidly changing landscape.

The demands and pressures of the medical profession are considerable, and the tolerance threshold is low. For a period, she was unable to muster the strength to move forward, and she was uncertain about how to establish her own professional values. During this period of uncertainty, she came across my profile online and reached out to me.

The following is a summary of the feedback provided by the subject following the consultation:

Qu Jin:

In essence, the societal construct of the medical profession is predicated on the notion that advanced age confers prestige and experience. Consequently, the older a physician, the more patients they are presumed to have treated and the more expertise they are assumed to possess.

However, in the present era, this is not necessarily the case. For instance, if a physician has practiced for 20 years, it is commonly accepted that they possess 20 years of experience. Nevertheless, it is plausible that the same experience may have been utilized for that entire 20-year period.

The rationale behind this assertion is as follows:

To illustrate, consider a common disease affecting the elderly, such as age-related macular degeneration. Fifteen years ago, the prevailing treatment was a multi-wavelength laser. Upon application of the laser, the patient's vision was immediately impaired. However, there were no alternative options, and this was a "lose the pawn to save the rook" treatment plan. Ten years ago, photodynamic laser treatment became available, and the damage was significantly reduced.

Subsequently, five years ago, biological agents were introduced, and not only did the patient's vision not deteriorate, it actually improved after treatment. This represents a significant advancement in just 15 years.

The acceleration of technological progress suggests that doctors may no longer rely solely on experience. If the past was characterised by the "age of experience," we may now be entering a "age of evidence-based" and "age of precision" medicine.

For example, an elevated blood neutrophil count indicates a bacterial infection, while an increased lymphocyte count indicates a viral infection. It is imperative that we adhere to the evidence. In the era of precision medicine, this necessitates even greater subdivision. Testing for the novel coronavirus nucleic acid in the throat swab is an exemplar of precision medicine.

Vin posited that the essence of life is balance. During the latter portion of the consultation, it became evident that this concept is also applicable to the field of medicine.

Similarly, when the eyes are affected, the underlying cause may be diabetes or high blood sugar, which indicates a need for balance between the organs. However, in the case of glaucoma, for instance, individuals with Type A personalities are more susceptible, and they tend to be impatient, suggesting a necessity for equilibrium between the physical and the psychological.

A further consideration is the necessity for a balance between the human population, the natural environment, and society. A balanced perspective reveals an ever-expanding world.

A shift in perspective allows one to view medicine as a more holistic endeavor, transcending the technical, piecework nature of the activity. While the gratification derived from solving complex medical problems may be elusive, there is a profound sense of fulfillment that arises from delving deeper into the intricacies of the world and its underlying principles. This is a key insight gleaned from my consulting work.

These experiences have led me to conclude that a professional belief can provide a sense of inner sustenance in the face of uncertainty.

After reflection, it became evident that the future necessitates a dual focus: the introduction of advanced foreign technology to China and the undertaking of original scientific research to spearhead the development of the industry. The improvement of medical care, the popularization of science, scientific research, and the transformation of scientific and technological achievements must also be prioritized. Consequently, the planning of future goals must encompass these new requirements in all aspects.

It has become evident that regardless of the circumstances, a receptive and courageous approach is essential.

As Charles Dickens observed in A Tale of Two Cities, when individuals are unable to adapt to changing circumstances, it can result in adverse outcomes. However, when there is a willingness to seize opportunities, it can lead to positive results, as there are often numerous possibilities for advancement and growth.

Ultimately, with the assistance of Vin, I was able to engage in a period of introspective reflection, during which I was able to regain a sense of direction and purpose.

Vin's argument can be summarized as follows: there are three fundamental states that one encounters when engaged in work.

One perspective is to view one's career as a mirror. Negative emotions experienced at work will be reflected back, suggesting the importance of releasing them periodically. Another perspective is to regard one's career as a lens. Light enters and exits directly, with minimal impact on the individual. A third perspective is to view one's career as a spyglass. It can be conceptualized as a jigsaw puzzle, initially scattered but with the potential to reveal insights about humanity, good and evil, life and death, and other profound concepts. In this way, one's career can provide sustenance rather than consuming it.

To illustrate, I have been engaged in this profession for over two decades. Initially, one attains proficiency through a process of skill acquisition. Subsequently, one progresses to the art stage, wherein one's strengths relative to others become evident, fostering confidence.

At this juncture, I have developed my own knowledge structure. The third stage is the stage of reason, which is philosophy. Over time, I have come to recognize that life is fundamentally a science of balance.

At this juncture, I perceive my work as a form of cultivation. I have come to understand that skill, technique, and theory represent distinct stages of development, each of which has contributed to my current understanding.

In the process of consulting with customers, it becomes evident that each individual is not merely a point, but rather a living entity with emotions, families, stories, and opinions. Each encounter contributes to a more comprehensive and nuanced understanding of the world, leading to the formation of a self-consistent logical system.

The objective of this discourse is to illustrate that our profession is a reliable means of earning a livelihood. Doctors, journalists, teachers, engineers, migrant workers, and civil servants, among others, experience a range of sentiments when they select their occupation. However, as circumstances evolve, these initial sentiments may gradually dissipate.

In light of the observation that many individuals are driven to pursue financial gain as a means of supporting their families, it is worth questioning whether we must adopt a similar approach. As a case in point, consider the field of medicine. It is widely acknowledged that the primary objective of medicine is to save lives and treat injuries.

However, it can be argued that the concept of "injury" in the phrase "saving the injured" encompasses not only physical harm but also emotional distress. Similarly, the term "people" in the phrase "treating the sick and saving the injured" can be interpreted to include not only patients but also healthcare professionals.

The question thus arises as to how one might save another person's life while simultaneously saving one's own.

The fundamental purpose of medicine is to provide assistance, a principle that has remained unchanged since the earliest days of medical practice. When one considers the most fundamental aspects of human existence, it becomes evident that assimilation is not always a viable option.

Upon initial consultation, clients frequently present with depressive symptoms, including insomnia, anhedonia, and a sense of life's futility.

The indoctrination-style and examination-based education and mechanistic management models can easily result in individuals losing their sense of self-worth. It can be postulated that if an individual does not perform well on examinations and is unable to secure gainful employment, their life may appear to have no value, and they may even feel that they are a burden to society.

Or perhaps the individual in question perceives themselves as a burden to their parents, due to the perceived superiority of others.

As a result of the gradual loss of identity that occurs when individuals are constantly comparing themselves to others, it is imperative to recognize that what is lost in comparison must be found in existence.

It is imperative to ascertain one's most cherished values and discern one's unique essence. "How can I establish my own values?" It is not feasible to proffer a definitive response to this inquiry.

As previously stated, focusing on the present and utilizing one's career as a lens may facilitate the gradual identification of personal values and an evolving perspective on life, as reflected in the passage of time.

I wish you the best of luck!

I am Vin, a career planner with 24 years of experience in cross-industry management consulting. In the past, I have successfully assisted over 3,000 working individuals of varying ages in navigating various career development challenges through one-on-one case consultations.

Should you require professional guidance, you are encouraged to consult with me. Alternatively, you may wish to follow the WeChat public account: Career Planner Vin.

Hi, I'm Bai Li Yina. I hope my response can help and bring a bit of warmth to the situation.

The person who asked the question said that they had a boss at work who had very different values and a way of working that they found difficult to accept. However, because of financial pressures, they couldn't easily change jobs because of this. How should they deal with their overwhelming and depressed emotions?

[Situation analysis]

You're a person with strong personal principles who values integrity and hates taking advantage of others. You never expected to get a leader with a very different style of work, which has turned what should have been a normal job into a source of pain. The conflict and struggle within you has generated a lot of negative energy, and this feeling of helplessness always tortures you. Here's an understanding hug for you.

How do we handle unavoidable conflicts? This older boss seems to be a real challenge. Let's look at the reasons that are making you feel pain:

1. You can't say no to things you don't like.

2. You don't like the boss's authoritarianism and PUA style.

3. You have to put up with some pretty annoying people to get by.

4. I don't know how long you'll have to put up with this.

[Thought-provoking question]

1. Do you have any other expectations from your work besides getting paid? For instance, do you want to feel like you've accomplished something after finishing a project, or do you want your customers to be happy with your work?

2. Since you started working, have you faced any challenges? How did you cope when things got tough? Or are you still dealing with them now?

3. Is this boss's reputation in the company really bad? Have you heard of anyone who gets what he's trying to do?

Did the boss get what he wanted out of this decision?

Here are some recommended methods to try:

1. Remember that your boss's character is not your character. As an employee, the final beneficiary of your work is your boss, and they're also the one taking the risks. If they're unhappy with the company's actions, it's not your fault. Try to distinguish between the company and yourself to reduce your sense of guilt.

2. Find a better way to handle people who renege on their promises. For instance, in emails or messages, document the requests they make in a way that can be proven to avoid being held accountable. Sometimes the boss may seem to renege because he's old and has a poor memory or because of personal ability issues.

3. Find a way to relieve your emotions that works for you. Don't bottle up negative emotions. Do something you enjoy or talk to friends so you don't stay in a negative mood for too long.

4. Work isn't the only thing in your life. You've also got your own life and friends. Think of all the difficulties you face at work as challenges that life has given you.

If you don't have this difficulty, you'll probably find you have other difficulties. So don't be sad about it. Think of it as a trial you've grown through.

I hope these methods are helpful for you.

It'll take time, but you'll get there. Don't worry or be afraid. Many people are experiencing or have experienced similar problems.

You've got my support, and I'm here for you. I hope you find a solution to the problem you're facing soon, and that you're able to find your own most comfortable state of mind.

I'd like to thank everyone who has liked and responded to my posts. I wish you all peace and joy.

Hello, I see you.

I can relate to your experience, and I empathize with how you're feeling. When we encounter a leader like this, it can take a toll on our enthusiasm for work, emotional well-being, and even our sense of achievement and worthiness.

From what you've shared, it seems that you're open to exploring ways to navigate your emotions and perceptions in this role, and to giving yourself and this leader another chance. I've also tried to explore some points from an outsider's perspective, in the hope that it might offer some inspiration.

Could you please elaborate on what is behind the "high-handed" management style?

He could be seen as a dictator, a manipulator, saying one thing and doing another. It's difficult to know. Does this management style make you feel that the leader is strong or weak? I feel it shows his weak side. Sometimes the more insecure someone is, the more assertive they appear. Sometimes the louder someone's voice, the more they lack confidence.

You mentioned that he is older and not very educated, yet he has become the leader of the company simply through seniority and time. While these facts remain unchanged, it's worth noting that the psychological state of the employees, including yourself, seems to indicate a lack of conviction in his abilities.

There seems to be a lack of belief in his abilities and qualifications, and the perception is that he has become your leader simply through seniority. There appears to be some tension and opposition in this. It seems that he has adopted this high-handed management style because he is unable to convince others.

Could I ask what you think the leader needs behind this model? Perhaps respect?

Perhaps recognition would be a good place to start? Or is there something else that would be helpful?

For someone with average ability and education, it may be challenging to truly excel in the workplace.

Could his needs be met in a different way? Would his pattern loosen up? For example, when holidays come around, send him a carefully edited message of congratulations and express your gratitude for his growth. When you meet, be more polite and courteous. Ask him questions that he is good at answering.

I once had a very strong leader who required me to report to her every day after work before I could leave. At the time, I felt a bit resentful, but now I think that perhaps she just had a need to be respected. If I were willing to go to her office before leaving work and smile and say to her, "Ms. X, is there anything else you need me to do?

"If not, I'll go home first, and you should also get some rest early. Don't work too hard." Perhaps we could both benefit from a more balanced approach.

However, it is perhaps a little simplistic to make such a judgement in hindsight. We are emotional beings in the midst of it all, and it may be quite difficult to do. It is important to find a balance between expressing your emotions and maintaining a professional demeanor, unless you really value the job.

2. With regard to the conflict between values

It seems that you have a strong moral compass and feel uneasy about doing things that are dishonest or take advantage of others. It's important to recognize that society isn't perfect and that there are instances where people may not act with integrity.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider whether it is truly our responsibility to maintain the integrity of the entire industry, given that others may not fully recognize the nuances of ethical behavior and may not always have the capacity to accept this possibility.

I used to be a teacher trainer, and at the time I felt that there was a significant discrepancy between my inner values and the demands of the role. I felt that it was challenging to reconcile these differences and maintain the highest standards of education. Now I reflect on my capacity to navigate these tensions and uphold the integrity of the entire educational environment.

I have come to recognize that it is acceptable to not engage in actions at work that are contrary to one's personal values, to refrain from committing "great evils," and to approach certain situations with tact. I understand that we may not have the strength to uphold the purity and nobility of the entire environment, and that we are simply seeking our own space in the real world.

It might also be helpful to consider that showing some flexibility and lowering some of the demands of the superego could be a kind of gentleness towards oneself.

It is also possible to reduce the negative aspects of our actions. For instance, we can provide helpful guidance before taking advantage of others. I can also demonstrate more compassion and care when conducting training. This is a form of everyday heroism.

I am hopeful that I will continue to grow in this role.

I hope that the above perspective is helpful to you and that we can encourage each other.

Hello!

From your description, I can see that the situation is still clear. Here are some views for your reference:

If you're dealing with a negative-energy leader, it's a whole new challenge.

Try these methods to relieve your negative emotions:

First, you must understand how this negative leader makes you feel.

You feel angry, guilty, and helpless. Your emotions are complex. They affect your efficiency and motivation.

Knowing yourself is the first step to changing yourself.

Stay calm and don't let the leader's emotions affect you.

Look at the problem from a different perspective. The leader's boss knows about what the leader has done and believes that there will be changes.

To stay unaffected by the outside world, turn negative emotions into motivation and work hard at your job.

There may be other positive things about this team. Focus on those to feel more motivated.

If you can, talk to your leader about how you feel.

The leader may not know how their behavior affects the unit, or there may be other reasons for the negativity.

Set clear boundaries in your communication, remain professional, and ensure your rights and dignity are not violated.

If a leader's negative energy affects your work or emotional state, you can set boundaries and take action to protect yourself.

Deal with a negative leader by taking care of your physical and mental health.

Eat right, exercise, and get enough sleep to stay healthy.

You can also talk to colleagues, friends, or family for support.

If you can't deal with negative emotions caused by leadership or if your emotions keep getting worse, you can get help from a professional counselor.

If it's too much, look for a new job to protect your mental health.

Hope this helps!

Hello, I am Xia Fan, a listening coach. I can feel your inner conflict and confusion. Let me be clear: your leader's management style and the work arrangements are inconsistent with your values. This has caused resistance in your heart and made you reluctant to carry them out.

On the other hand, if you don't carry out the arrangements of the leader, you will lose your job. If you carry out the arrangements, you will feel angry and guilty towards others. If you don't carry out the arrangements, you will face financial pressure and feel helpless and confused.

Facing such a dilemma is stressful and draining. There are three ways to analyze and improve:

First, we must address the issues with the leader. From your description, it's clear that the leader's management style is outdated and often involves cutting costs on employees. It seems he doesn't approve of this management style. Additionally, he's going back on the work he arranged himself, taking advantage of others, and feeling aggrieved. This is because you're working against your own wishes and principles, which can generate complex emotions and affect your work efficiency and state.

Second, you may also be experiencing internal conflict and confusion due to financial pressure and the reluctance to lose this stable job. You have two options: go along with the boss's arrangements against your will or seek a job that suits you better.

We must understand that we need to solve our own survival problems before we can face the reality of our environment. Maslow's hierarchy of needs theory is clear: people need to satisfy their physiological and safety needs before they can achieve the needs of belonging, respect, and self-actualization.

We must try to be more understanding of our inner struggles and anxieties. After all, we feel the threat to our existence firsthand, so we must allow ourselves to worry and have concerns.

Finally, we must ask ourselves what our true needs and expectations are in a career. Is it limited to financial satisfaction, or do we seek recognition and self-fulfillment more?

Listen to your inner voice, respect your feelings, and trust your vitality to lead you to the answers you seek.

I highly recommend two books: The Art of Communication and Meeting the Unknown Self. They will undoubtedly be helpful to you. I wish you all the best!

Hello, my name is Coach Yu, and I would like to discuss this topic with you if you are interested.

Let's start by discussing emotions. Emotions are made up of unique subjective experiences, external manifestations, and physiological arousal. Each emotion may be an unmet internal demand. For example, when we miss the opportunity for a promotion or pay rise, we feel sad; when we lose a treasured possession we have had for many years, we feel angry.

As the original poster mentioned, there is a possibility that if you don't do it, you might not be compensated. Conversely, if you do it, it might not align with your personal values. You might have mixed feelings about doing it. You might feel frustrated with the arrangement made by your leader. You might feel a sense of guilt towards others. You might feel a sense of helplessness and exhaustion.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider the following questions: What are my thoughts and feelings about the leader assigning me to do something that goes against my integrity? What emotions and feelings does it bring you? The leader assigned me to do something that takes advantage of others. What are my thoughts and feelings about it? What emotions and feelings does it bring you?

Perhaps we could also consider what the underlying need might be that causes us to feel angry at the boss's arrangement. Similarly, we could reflect on what the underlying need might be that causes us to feel guilty towards others.

Could you please reflect on what it is about yourself that you feel helpless about, and what your inner needs might be?

Perhaps we could also ask ourselves what these anxious and tired feelings might say to us if they could speak at this moment.

It might be helpful to try to reconcile with our emotions. When such distressing emotions arise, we can quietly observe them without judgment, and let them come and go freely like clouds, drifting away slowly like fallen leaves in the water. You might also find it beneficial to record what you are feeling at the moment.

Please feel free to write honestly about your feelings in your writing, as it is for your own benefit. This will help us to understand the causes and effects of emotions and to identify the root of the problem.

Perhaps we could revisit the topic of boundaries. It's helpful to be aware of the boundaries of others and to know your own boundaries, as they help distinguish you from others.

The workplace is a small society, and interactions between colleagues and between staff and leaders are inevitable. However, colleagues are not friends, let alone family. Even with friends and family, we need to respect each other's privacy. It would be beneficial for colleagues and leaders at work to have a sense of their own boundaries.

Sometimes we are reluctant to offend others, sometimes we are hesitant to damage relationships, sometimes we avoid potential risks (such as losing our job), and sometimes we feel that we are "overthinking" and ignore signals that our boundaries are being violated. We are uncertain about establishing and maintaining our own boundaries and are reluctant to protect ourselves.

As the original poster wrote, they don't want to do it because it goes against their values. However, they also don't want to lose their stable job because of financial pressure, so they feel somewhat powerless to change.

It might be helpful to consider whether we have been offended by some of the leader's words, deeds, or work arrangements, and how we feel about them.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider how we would respond to these words and actions from our leaders if we were not comfortable with them.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider what the ideal relationship between superior and subordinate might be. What characteristics would an ideal leader possess?

It is not always possible to rely on others to protect us. In line with the principle of task separation, we cannot influence or control the words and actions of our leaders, and we cannot expect our leaders to know how to behave. It is therefore important for us to take the initiative to establish our own boundaries and to clearly express to others when we feel uncomfortable. If necessary, we can also take some warning words and methods.

While we accept the leadership's job arrangements and tasks, we may not necessarily agree with all of their instructions. In the workplace, we can have our own working methods and schedules, provided that we understand the company's goals and follow the team's requirements.

From a psychological perspective, individuals with an inferiority complex often seek respect and approval from others, and may be concerned about being perceived as inadequate. Consequently, they place a high value on the opinions and perceptions of others. To enhance their own self-esteem and visibility, they may resort to insinuating or fabricating information about others, which can potentially lead to feelings of resentment and distrust. This behavior may be driven by a desire to demonstrate their abilities and gain recognition, which is a common motivation in many individuals. In the workplace, this dynamic can manifest as a drive to prove oneself by discrediting or undermining others, which can ultimately impact the dynamics of the team and the overall work environment. It's essential to recognize that individuals with an inferiority complex may not always have malicious intentions, and that their actions can often be influenced by a complex web of personal and professional factors.

It is also important to consider the unique perspective of the leader. Given their position, it is likely that they possess abilities that exceed those of ordinary people. Therefore, it may be beneficial to identify an appropriate time to communicate with the leader. This could involve tactfully expressing our own conflicts with certain work methods and our own values and beliefs. It may also be helpful to engage in a lighthearted conversation about the discomfort we feel when our boundaries are violated. Additionally, it is valuable to listen to what the leader expects of us. Effective communication can not only help us release our pent-up emotions, but it can also provide insight into the leader's style of doing things and potentially enhance workplace relationships.

If I might make one more suggestion, it would be to love yourself.

The questioner is very good at noticing their emotions in time and seeking help. Perhaps we could start by caring for ourselves, taking care of our bodies and our feelings.

If this thing is bothering you, it might be helpful to ask for help. It can be difficult to overcome challenges immediately, so it's good to have a support system in place. If you feel the need, you can also consider talking to a counselor. Emotions can be released through counseling to relieve the heaviness and blockage in our hearts.

It would be beneficial to maintain a peaceful state of mind, without losing our temper or becoming angry. This will not only help keep our emotions stable and be good for our health, but also show your manager that you are in good shape. Of course, we must continue to improve in our work as usual, because this is an important aspect of the relationship between you and your manager.

It is important to remember that, no matter how busy and tired you are at work, you should try to make time to relax. You might like to try breathing deeply, calming your mind, going out into nature, listening to the frogs croaking, and smelling the birds chirping and the flowers blooming. It is also a good idea to try to feel the real you and experience real life, as you always have the right to choose.

For those interested in further reading on the topic, we suggest the book "Be Yourself."

Hello, question asker. I'm Evan, a consultant in the fine-tuning school.

From the questioner's description, it's clear that they're distressed and negative about some of the leader's practices. It's often difficult to know what kind of person our leader is, and we often have to adapt to their practices and style.

If the leadership style does not give subordinates recognition, it is inevitable that various negative emotions will arise, which are all understandable. This leader will undoubtedly assign the pressure of work to his or her employees, which will inevitably lead to even lower employee morale and an even less satisfactory working environment.

It is true that facing such a work environment and leadership can make people feel stressed and depressed. We must actively seek solutions to problems, protect our legitimate rights and interests, and also maintain professional ethics and the corporate image, guided by the core values of socialism.

It is clear that how you get along with and work with your leader reflects your own personal behaviour patterns and styles. As the question was asked on the platform, we cannot discuss the questioner's emotions in depth or help them find the root cause of their emotions. However, we can help the questioner regulate their emotions, reduce their stress, and maintain a positive work state as much as possible. Here are some simple suggestions:

Adjust your mindset.

Understand and accept the situation. Changing the culture of the leader or the entire company may not be achievable in the short term, but you can still make a difference.

View work as a process of gaining experience and skills, not just a means of making money. Every experience has value and meaning, even if the work you do doesn't fully align with your values.

You can face problems better if you maintain a positive attitude.

Set personal boundaries.

At work, you must remain professional and objective. Do not allow your leader's emotions to affect you.

Refuse requests that you consider unreasonable or unethical. If possible, offer your own suggestions or solutions.

Keep the lines of communication open.

In an appropriate setting, communicate with your leader in a positive and constructive manner to express your thoughts and concerns.

If you find it difficult to communicate directly, you can choose to convey your views through email or other colleagues as intermediaries.

When communicating, be clear and concise. Stick to facts and data, and avoid emotional responses. This will make your communication more effective.

Seek support.

Tell your colleagues, friends, or family members what's on your mind. They'll be there for you and help you cope. Find people in your team who think like you and work out solutions together.

Know your rights. Know the law. Know the company policies. If your leader violates the law or company regulations, report it.

If the situation is serious, you should seek help from a professional counselor or psychotherapist. Counseling teaches effective stress management and emotional regulation skills.

It is essential to prioritize self-care.

You must maintain healthy habits, including a good diet, adequate sleep, and appropriate exercise.

Relieve stress and anxiety through meditation, yoga, and other relaxation techniques.

Develop some personal interests to distract yourself and improve your satisfaction with life.

Make a career plan.

Use your spare time to improve your professional skills and education level to enhance your competitiveness.

Make sure your current job helps you achieve your long-term career goals.

If the current work environment does not align with your career goals, you have the option to seek other job opportunities and prepare for a future job change.

In such an environment in the company, the questioner should not be too demanding on themselves. Everyone's values and tolerance are different, and the questioner has the right to choose the most suitable working environment for them.

Any decision should consider the individual's and their family's actual situation, remain rational and calm, and make the choice that is in your best interests. While adapting and changing the status quo, you must also attend to your own inner needs and sense of well-being.

The questioner will undoubtedly find the solution that suits him best.

Read Stress Disorders under Patriarchy and Managing Up.

I am confident that my answer will help the questioner.

Hello. From the narrative, it is clear that the management style and requirements of the leader you replaced last year have made it very difficult for you to adapt and that you are at a loss.

If you do what he wants, you feel like you're going against your conscience and you feel guilty and uneasy about the possible loss of benefits for others. But if you don't do what he says or try to change him, it seems difficult, and you may even lose your job.

This "stuck" state is draining, period.

Dealing with a "one-man show" and a blaming and shirking leadership style at work is undoubtedly stressful. Employees may feel that no matter what they do, they may be wrong and severely criticized. They may then become angry at the unequal power in the workplace and the situation of people in relatively weak positions being aggrieved. Alternatively, they may also have hidden dissatisfaction with themselves, feeling that they are unable to safeguard their own interests and needs and can only bear the aggrievance.

In this regard, we can and should adjust from two perspectives. First, we must recognize the objective inequality of power and a certain degree of irrationality in the workplace. Not only people with outstanding virtues, abilities, qualifications, and communication skills can assume leadership responsibilities. This phenomenon is not limited to a particular unit. It is something that almost everyone encounters to a greater or lesser extent in their careers. Therefore, when we encounter an unsatisfactory environment, we can and should interpret it from a universal social perspective. We can see it as part of the experience.

Then evaluate whether, apart from this new leader, other aspects of the job (e.g., professionalism, job content, compensation and benefits, colleague relationships, training opportunities, and development prospects) meet your needs.

Furthermore, identify any shared objectives between this leader and you and the team. Begin with these common ground areas and offer your opinions, demonstrating that your feedback and opinions are valuable to achieving his goals.

At the same time, you can record the leader's decisions and arrangements through written communication and confirmation, and confirm your understanding to him after he assigns a task. You may not have control over whether the leader can change or what he will do, but you do have control over your own career. Your development goals and direction are in your hands. You are the one who decides whether to stay, change tracks, or change companies.

The people you work with are also facing changes brought about by this leader, just like you. They will adjust and respond according to their/the company's needs, and you don't have to bear all the pressure alone. You don't have to feel guilty either. Explain the internal changes to suppliers or partners, and coordinate within your capabilities. Ask them to come up with solutions for other uncertain factors.

Finally, remember that work is just one part of your life. Don't let it consume you. Find other sources of enjoyment and energy outside of work, such as social support, hobbies, or learning new skills.