Outside of home, I am quite reserved, but once I return home, I become a chatterbox?

Hello, friend!

I really like your objective perspective on things. I can see your doubts in your words, but you don't seem anxious at all. You seem to have a kind of attitude that says, "I accept and like myself no matter what," and I really like your wisdom and confidence.

So, which one is the real you? Let's talk about it together!

From the time you start school, you feel introverted when you get along with your classmates, and you feel uncomfortable when you chat. I totally get it! This is the "false you" at this time. This "you" is found in almost everyone, especially adults.

This "you" comes from our own baby selves. When we were little, our expressions and feelings were influenced by our mommies or family members.

As a baby, we were just so eager to get feedback from our mommies and family members when we did something new or expressed ourselves.

For example, did they let me be happy and afraid?

Did they know how to feed me?

Will they soothe me, comfort me, and kiss me?

Usually, they do, and this is a biological instinct. When this is the case, the baby knows it's okay to express itself as it really is in the relationship.

And you know what? After expressing myself, I feel more confident and empowered!

2. The truth is, family members aren't always like this. Sometimes they're busy making phone calls, cooking, working, dealing with their emotions, having conflicts with family members, or being sick.

It's important to remember that babies can't always be perfect, and that's okay! They need to learn to do things on their own and to be patient.

As long as they're generally happy, children will be just fine. They'll learn that their true self can only be satisfied in part by their family, which is a valuable lesson.

3. Of course, there are some things that we just don't do as parents. We don't feed our kids when they're hungry, we don't hug them when they cry for a long time, we ignore them when they're scared, we're cold when they're happy, we force them to stop crying, we take out our anger on them, we disappear without warning, and so on.

At this time, the child's true self will be damaged to varying degrees. They may feel like they're not allowed to cry, or that they can't be afraid, or that it's not right for them to be happy. They may even feel like they need to look after the feelings of their family. This is a tough time for them! Their true self is hidden, and a false self develops instead. They choose a way that either pleases their mother or doesn't offend her.

A false self is one that is based on catering to the wishes of others rather than obeying one's true feelings or instinctive needs.

In a nutshell, when you're around your classmates, you might be more worried about making them happy, so you might not speak your mind or do whatever you want like you do with your family. In fact, the you that shows up at this time is the "fake you."

At home, you are either a chatterbox or even a drama queen, and that's okay!

Haha, at home, you don't have to worry about anyone's opinions because you know they will be unconditionally tolerant and understanding. This is when your true self comes back! You feel very relaxed, comfortable, and enjoy this state.

We're all really similar, actually. When we're with our loved ones, we can be our true selves and express ourselves freely.

?

So, whether it's the "false you" or the "true you," they're both ways of expressing yourself. We can understand others through falsehood and feel ourselves through truth. It doesn't matter if it's false or true, we accept it unconditionally with understanding and support! And then, the true you will become more and more aware and stronger!

Let's wait and see together, my friend!

And finally, I wish you a life filled with joy, happiness, and hope, free from any disasters or difficulties!

I love you, world! And I love you, too, my friend! ??

Hello, question asker!

I'm Intern Meow, a listener at Yixin!

It's totally normal for folks to be super outgoing at home but then get a little shy when they're out and about. They might be the life of the party with their friends but then get a bit tongue-tied when they're meeting new people.

It doesn't matter what you look like on the outside, it's who you are on the inside that counts!

[Why do we have such contrasting personalities?]

In front of strangers,

It's totally normal to feel a little cautious when we're faced with strangers and unfamiliar environments. It's like we're on a little adventure, discovering new things about ourselves and others!

In front of our awesome family and friends!

It's so great when we're with our family and close friends! We can really let our guard down, become less suspicious, and be more naturally informal. It's amazing how easy and fun it is to just let the conversation flow!

What do psychologists say? Let's find out!

The great psychologist Carl Jung had an amazing insight: we live in two worlds! The external world is made up of the people, things, and environment around us. The internal world is made up of our emotions, thoughts, will, and experiences.

The external world is like an exciting, new environment with lots of new people to meet! The internal world is our family and close friends, and that is the world we are full of emotions.

[Interpreting introversion and extroversion]

It doesn't matter what kind of environment we're in! If our inner world is safe, we'll feel relaxed and eager to express and share our true feelings and emotions.

If the outside world is unfamiliar, it's a great opportunity to explore new things and grow! Without an inner sense of security, we can choose to be closed off, but there are also ways to protect ourselves.

And there's also the external world that we don't like or that makes us feel uncomfortable. But here's the great thing: we can choose to not let it get to us! We can choose to talk about it and share our feelings. And when we do, we become very extroverted!

So, embrace it all! Every part of you is a part of your amazing, authentic self.

If I may, I would like to give you a hug and talk through a few things with you.

At school, you tend to be quite reserved and are able to focus your energy on your studies.

It might be perceived as somewhat unusual to laugh and joke around at home and act like a showoff, but it can also be a sign of a full-blown hypochondriac. This could be seen as a positive thing, as it shows that you are completely relaxed at home, without any stress.

Perhaps the question we should be asking is not which one is the real you, but rather, how can we reconcile these different aspects of ourselves?

This is the multifaceted nature of people. As you grow up, you may find that in addition to these two sides, you will have other sides as well, such as being with a lover, which could be another side.

This is perfectly normal. There is nothing to be concerned about.

It is worth noting that our protective colors may shift depending on our environment. For instance, if we find ourselves in a school setting, we may unconsciously gravitate towards behaviors that align with the teacher's expectations, such as being quiet and excelling in studies.

When you calm down, you may find it helpful to observe your different states of mind. This could be a good time to calm down at school. You're doing a great job.

Home is where you grew up, where you have the love and protection of your family. You feel at ease and safe. In a way, you can say that all pretense and color have been removed, so the child within you is basically in a state of complete relaxation at home. Congratulations on having a home full of love and security.

Ultimately, it is up to you to decide which state you wish to maintain. There is no need to doubt the merits of any particular state; they are simply different states of being.

I would like to extend my warmest wishes to you and the world at large. May you find happiness in your endeavors.