Planned to get married by the end of the year after half a year of dating, but did I find out that he was cheating on me?

Hello, dear question asker. I can see you're feeling confused, so please give yourself a hug. You said you've been dating your boyfriend for six months and plan to get married at the end of the year.

But then, you found out that your partner has been unfaithful to you. It's a female colleague you've been seeing for about a month. You two chat, you comfort each other on the phone, and you even video chat in the early morning before going to sleep. You even slept together! On International Women's Day, you bought flowers for each other, went out to dinner, and he stayed at your place for two days and one night. You love him very much, but you just can't get over this hurdle in your heart.

I really want to leave this world. I'm so tired. I also really want to cry.

Maybe it's because your boyfriend knows that you love him very much, so he is acting this way. Of course, it's also possible that he is just like that. My advice to you, sister, is to leave. A short pain is better than a long one. Think about it: if he is acting this way even before marriage, what will he do in the future? He will definitely go even further, unless you allow him to. But you said that you can't get past this hurdle in your heart, and I totally get it.

There's absolutely no need to let such a person influence you. The world is so beautiful, and you deserve a better man. You may not be in love with your boyfriend, but you have a certain feeling about him that's yours alone. This is also known as the cost of silence. And it's only been half a year.

Leaving the wrong person is the only way to meet the right one. It's okay to cry if you need to, and you can still smile at the world after you've cried. ? I wish the original poster well. You'll know what to do. Those in the know are confused, and the outsider sees clearly. ?

That's all I can think of for now. At Yixinli, the world and I love you ???

Hello, I'm Yuefan 1. First of all, I want to give the original poster a hug. I can feel a sense of anger and resentment from the humiliation, and a sense of exhaustion from the heartache in every word.

Given the timeline of "getting engaged after six months of dating and getting married at the end of the year," the questioner has had to navigate a lot of unexpected twists and turns. The boyfriend's infidelity might initially trigger a sense of self-denial, a denial of your own judgment, the feelings you've invested, and even the plan to get married at the end of the year. There might also be a subsequent sense of low self-worth: Am I worthless?

Is it worthless? You got married at the end of the year, so why did you cheat on your wife?

You feel like you've been let down big time. And there's this sense of shame that doesn't belong to you: how could he have done such a despicable thing?

It's really painful!

If you can, find a safe space where you can have a good cry, release all that tiredness, and give yourself a hug.

At last, the original poster can give back what doesn't belong to you to the person who gave it to you: his cheating, his flirting, and his love for his female colleague. Then, tell yourself that these are the actions of others, not yours, and you aren't responsible.

You're not worthless, and you shouldn't be ashamed of yourself. You don't have to deny yourself because of other people's actions. All you have to do is love yourself and give yourself a better life.

Your future has lots of possibilities. Choose and love yourself.

The world and I think you're great!

Hello, I'm reaching out to you because I understand you have a question.

From your question, I understand that you found out that your boyfriend had cheated before the wedding, which made you feel very sad and upset, and you're not sure what to do. I understand your feelings.

From what you've told me, it seems like your boyfriend is genuinely sorry for what he did with that female colleague. I don't know how he'll react once you find out, and it's possible that he doesn't even know you found out about his infidelity. This is something we need to think about: what should we do? Break up, get married, or continue dating? You say you love your boyfriend very much, but I don't know what it is about him that you love, or whether he fulfills some kind of need for you.

Think about why your boyfriend cheated on you. If he's just like that, you choose not to see it because you want to forgive him. What action should you take to stop it the next time there's a problem? Is there a problem between you that you haven't seen? No matter what the situation is, there will be other women. We need to calmly analyze whether this person is really worth our love. We also need to see reality. If your boyfriend doesn't love you anymore, we need to learn to love and respect ourselves, rather than entering into marriage because of our love. A marriage without mutual love will only be suffocating and painful because no one will put up with it forever.

If he still does this after you find out and keeps on doing it, if you have doubts, I suggest you take it slow. If you have to forgive him, you need to know what he's like after you find out. If he's sorry after you find out, I think he's more worried about you leaving than he is about hurting you. If he was sorry before you found out, you might be able to give him another chance. You might even get along.

Ultimately, you have to decide if this person is worth it and can become a good husband. You also have to think about whether they're right for you. Take care of yourself, feel secure, and you'll find someone who loves and values you.

Hello. I'm going to give you a 360-degree hug.

From your question, it's clear you're hurt, angry, and helpless. You were happily getting married, looking forward to a happy, sweet married life together. Your partner cheated on you, and it's obvious they weren't trying to hide it. They're not afraid of being found out, acting as if you've destroyed their relationship.

You can't move past this obstacle in your heart. You love each other deeply, and this setback has made you angry, helpless, and confused. You need to figure out how to deal with the situation.

This kind of thing really takes people by surprise. You didn't say in your question what the purpose of the question is, and I don't think you've had time to think about it yet. My advice is this: first, cry if you want to.

You are the victim, and it is your right to cry. Find a time and place where you can do so in safety.

You need to find someone who is willing to accompany you quietly.

Second, after you've had time to process your emotions, you can engage in some aggressive sports, such as boxing. These types of activities provide a safe and constructive way to channel your frustration. It's essential to express your anger, but it's also crucial to ensure your safety.

Beating the other person up is also an option, but it's not safe.

Third, after crying and hitting, you need to decide whether to continue or break up.

If you continue, you will undoubtedly encounter similar incidents in the future. You didn't say what the other person had to say about the affair, but their behavior indicates that they are not afraid of you finding out. If they weren't afraid of you finding out before marriage, they certainly won't change after marriage.

You won't be happy if you get married, and you still love each other very much.

If you break up, you will need to deal with the end of a relationship and the self-doubt and loss that come with a broken heart. But this pain is short-term, and it will be easier to repair and heal than the uncertainty of staying together. Based on the limited information you've provided, I can also conclude that the other person is not a good match.

You need to break up now.

Take a deep breath and then tackle the problem head on.

I am both Buddhist and pessimistic, but I am also motivated and positive. The world and I love you.

I can see that this is a tough situation for you. It's not easy to love someone who doesn't feel the same way. I'm sure you've noticed that your boyfriend likes people who are married. It's possible that he's trying to satisfy a feeling of envy in his heart with the desire to dominate. This can lead to a sense of existence that can only destroy the relationship. He might feel like he's never belonged to anyone. In his love, he's always seeking proof of the identity of being abandoned in childhood. He loves someone who doesn't necessarily have a future. He knows that the satisfaction he gets in the relationship is all a sense of abandonment from not being loved. Every time he chats with that woman until he falls asleep, it's a reminder that if you leave him, it is actually his need to see you and his relationship exist to satisfy the trauma of growing up and prove it.

You're not wrong, and you haven't wronged him. But you have wronged yourself. Your relationship with him might be a bit rocky, too. You're super tolerant and forgiving, and then you get hurt. It's probably because you're constantly afraid of losing the relationship and being abused yourself. Maybe your childhood involved not being loved or even cared for with indifference by those who raised you. You were afraid to say no in the midst of your pain, and at the same time, you were unable to recognize who in the relationship belonged to you and deserved your love. Because you've never been truly responded to in the relationship, you can only rely on forbearance and suppression to deal with the unfair results of the relationship. You should learn to love yourself well in this painful relationship, learn to grow, and learn to improve your understanding of your own needs. You should also recognize who in the relationship is worthy of your love and the one who loves you. You can try to find a counselor or listener on the platform. Perhaps you can nourish your heart that has been patched up in their safe and warm company. May you soon escape from the sea of suffering and summon a better future for you.

Good day.

My boyfriend, who had planned to marry me, was unfaithful to me with a woman who was not yet divorced and had a child.

He feels let down and inferior, and would rather pursue an affair with a woman who is not divorced and has children than maintain the current relationship. You are experiencing feelings of anger and depression.

Could you please elaborate on how you discovered the infidelity? Did your boyfriend admit to it?

Please describe your boyfriend's current attitude.

From your description, it seems that your boyfriend is quite enthusiastic about this. You mentioned the word "flirting," which leads me to wonder if he has not experienced such excitement in your relationship, and thus is seeking it elsewhere.

In your view, two people in a relationship should be open and honest and work towards marriage. However, your boyfriend may have a different perspective, namely that he is seeking excitement in the relationship.

It is possible that you and your boyfriend are not an optimal match.

It is analogous to a situation where one individual has a preference for Huaiyang cuisine and another has a preference for snail noodles. While the former may be perceived as less popular in the context of culinary preferences, it is nevertheless a highly regarded dish. Similarly, while your boyfriend may have a strong affinity for you, there may be other qualities that you possess that he finds attractive. It is also possible that you and he have different preferences, and that he is simply more open to exploring other options. It is also likely that you will encounter individuals who are more compatible with you in other ways.

You indicate that you have a strong affection for your partner, but it is unclear whether he has the same level of attachment to you.

The decision to be in love is a joint one, while the choice to be together is made by both parties. However, the decision to part ways is made by one person alone. In this case, your boyfriend has already made his decision. He has chosen not to remain in the relationship with you.

Even if you are married, there is still a risk of infidelity after marriage.

Even if you were to leave this world, it is unlikely that they would experience significant guilt. It is also unclear how long it would take them to resume their normal lives.

Furthermore, individuals who have a genuine affection for you, such as your parents and friends, are experiencing a profound sense of sadness.

Is this a worthwhile investment for someone who does not love you?

It is impossible to predict who you might meet later in life. There is no guarantee that you will love your boyfriend more passionately than you do now.

Allow yourself to grieve in a private and controlled manner. Once you have finished crying, remove your tears and resume your normal activities.

The experience of betrayal can be extremely distressing. When trust is violated by someone in a position of trust, it can be challenging to regain trust in others. However, individuals who are resilient and capable of recovering from such experiences are often the most capable of forming and maintaining trusting relationships.

It is possible that the relationship has already been experiencing difficulties, which have been overlooked.

In comparison to discovering infidelity after marriage, you stand to lose less if you terminate the relationship now. It is only after you have released the unsuitable partner that you can reunite with the appropriate one. I wish you the best of luck!

It's totally normal to feel hurt and let down when you find out that someone you love has been unfaithful. It can really shake your trust and self-esteem, leaving you feeling helpless and desperate.

It's so important to take care of yourself emotionally and mentally during this time. Here are some suggestions to help you get through this difficult period:

1. It's okay to feel the pain. Give yourself time and space to feel these emotions. Grief, anger, and disappointment are all natural reactions.

It's okay to feel whatever you're feeling. Don't try to suppress or ignore these feelings.

2. Seek support: Talk to your friends and family about how you feel. They're there for you, and they can provide emotional support and practical help.

If you need a helping hand, don't be afraid to reach out to a professional counselor or psychotherapist. They're there for you.

3. Communicate: Talk openly with your boyfriend about what you've discovered and how you're feeling. Try to understand his point of view and what he's saying, but remember that it might not make you feel totally reassured or ready to forgive him just yet.

4. Make a decision: Think about whether you're ready to forgive him and move forward in the relationship. This will depend on what you want from the relationship, your personal values, and whether you think what he did was okay.

5. Take care of yourself: It's so important to take care of your physical and mental health during this time. Make sure you're getting enough exercise, eating a healthy diet, and getting plenty of sleep and rest.

6. Think about the future: It's also a good idea to think about the kind of life you want and what your future partner is like. After all, a reliable and loyal partner is essential for a long-term relationship!

7. Forgiveness and letting go: If you decide to stay in the relationship, try to forgive him over time. It's also a good idea to learn to let go and stop letting past hurts affect your present and future.

Self-worth: Remember that you are worthy just because you are you! You are an independent person who deserves respect and love.

At this time, it's so important to take care of yourself. Your feelings and happiness are the most important thing!

Before making any decisions, it's really important to make sure you have enough information and time to think about it. And remember, you are not alone! There are always people willing to help you through difficult times.