Procrastination, anxiety, Internet addiction, breakdowns, I'm sick of myself. What do I do?

Hello, I am Li Di☀, and I am grateful for this opportunity to connect.

Your parents invested a great deal of time and money to support your studies abroad, yet your current language scores present a challenge. You are motivated to study hard, but find it difficult to manage your emotions. Procrastination, anxiety, and self-doubt can be painful experiences. You give yourself a hug, and feel a lack of self-discipline, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy. It's a difficult situation. What can you do? While reading, I had some thoughts, which I hope we can discuss.

First, I wonder if I should consider the fact that your parents worked hard to earn money to send you to study abroad. This may be a factor in my decision-making process. Is it possible that my parents worked so hard and I would feel particularly guilty if I couldn't do it?

I believe that I may be afraid of disappointing them. As I reflect on the situation, I feel increasing anxiety and a desire to escape. Would it be beneficial for me to speak with my parents about my current challenges and pressures? I wonder if my parents might understand and accept me more than I imagine.

Secondly, I sometimes feel frustrated with myself for not wanting to study. I've even been known to slap my arm in frustration. However, I'm not sure if this is an effective approach. If it were, I would probably feel less bad about myself. Could I allow myself to stay in this negative state for a while?

Perhaps it would be beneficial to allow yourself not to study now, and allow yourself not to complete the plan?

☞ Third, perhaps I can also do a little self-grooming every day. If I have learned even a little bit today according to my learning plan, I should affirm myself instead of just seeing the part of the plan I haven't completed, which makes me anxious. After all, being able to learn a little is also not easy for me to do at the moment, right? I must give myself a little praise, and it's okay to reward myself a little.

The above discussion is just one possible way of thinking about the situation. If there is anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, you can choose to ignore it. This is just one hypothesis.

Perhaps we could explore the underlying psychological mechanisms behind your feelings and needs together, with the aim of better understanding and accepting yourself.

I can see that what you're going through reflects a deeper inner conflict. It seems that your desire to achieve your goal is in tension with your attraction to the game, which is causing you discomfort and a sense of helplessness.

It is possible that this feeling arises from a discrepancy between one's self-identity and expectations, as well as apprehension about the unknown future. Your rigorous standards and expectations of yourself may have led to a strong sense of self-reproach and frustration when you have not yet achieved your goals.

This inner conflict is a common experience among young people pursuing their dreams. You are eagerly anticipating the opportunity to study abroad, yet you also feel a certain degree of pressure from your family and society.

It's understandable that this pressure may make you feel anxious or even afraid of failure, which can lead you to temporarily escape it by playing games. This is a natural response, as the brain tends to avoid uncomfortable emotions.

I believe it's important to acknowledge that your feelings are valid and understandable. When faced with pressure and challenges, it's natural for us all to seek ways to cope.

Gaming may provide you with a temporary escape from reality, but it doesn't mean you are "unable to achieve anything" or "useless." On the contrary, you are fighting for your future and are aware of your current problems, which is in itself a form of growth.

You might find it helpful to try to gain a deeper understanding of your needs and find out what really motivates you. Perhaps you could ask yourself what makes you passionate about studying abroad?

It might be helpful to consider your life goals for studying abroad. Having a clear idea of your goals could potentially help you regain motivation and persevere even when faced with temptation.

Additionally, you might consider viewing minor achievements in your studies as indications of progress, rather than solely focusing on the ultimate outcome. It could also be beneficial to offer yourself positive reinforcement each time you complete a smaller task.

This may help you to build self-confidence and gradually reduce your dependence on games.

You might also consider talking to a counselor. Professional guidance can sometimes help you find a solution more quickly. Be patient with yourself and take your time to find a path that suits you.

You are not alone, and you have the strength to overcome this difficult time. I believe in you and your ability to overcome this challenge. You deserve every beautiful possibility.

I hope my answer is helpful. Please remember that you are a unique individual with inherent worth and the right to enjoy the good things in life.

Hello. It's clear from your description that the only thing stopping you from going abroad is your language score. Your parents have already taken care of the preparation in other areas, so it's now up to you to take the exam.

You feel pressure because you know what you have to do is difficult. It's human nature to avoid difficult tasks and distract yourself with something else.

There are often complex psychological causes behind procrastination, involving a variety of internal feelings. In many cases, procrastination is actually an attempt to avoid uncomfortable feelings, and is related to our personal experiences and situations. If you have not previously had problems with learning and addiction, but it happened during the period when you were preparing for the exam abroad, it means that going abroad was a great psychological challenge for you. You feel that if you do not do well in the exam, you will owe it to your parents, and you cannot bear this guilt. Alternatively, you may have subconsciously wanted to avoid going abroad and were afraid of being separated from your parents, but on the conscious level you were unable to recognize this fear.

If you haven't even set foot abroad yet and the language exam is just the first step, you can adjust or choose again according to the exam results. There's no reason to feel so much pressure and be unable to study.

Once you understand the stress mechanism behind procrastination, stop blaming and hating yourself. Show yourself understanding and empathy. You are facing enormous pressure and are scared and worried that you won't be able to do a good job. This is an emotional reaction, but it doesn't mean you are incapable of doing a good job. Then think about the possible options for the future. For example, going abroad. Is going abroad at this time the only option?

You could also apply for a deferral if you're running late. Or you could apply to go abroad and study at a language school for a while.

You should stay in China and develop your career here. This way, you'll see you have options and that you don't have to study with such a heavy burden on your mind.

For language learning, find a study partner or tutor. Devote time and energy to preparation. Don't be too hard on yourself. Results don't happen overnight. Find motivation and a rhythm for learning. Then, expand it.

Use intervention methods to reduce your dependence on games. Replace gaming with other activities when you want to play, such as going for a run or writing down your mood in English. If you need help regulating your gaming, seek the guidance of a counselor with relevant experience.

A counselor will show you that internet addiction can be improved and that it is not something you cannot overcome.

Greetings. It is my hope that my response will prove beneficial to you.

Indeed, your objective is to pass the language examination and achieve a commendable score. However, you find yourself continuously engaged in the game. Despite your desire to study, you find it challenging to refrain from playing. You experience a sense of frustration, prompting you to berate yourself. Nevertheless, it is important to recognize that self-criticism may not necessarily lead to the desired outcome.

I recall that I was in a similar situation when preparing for the postgraduate entrance examination. I was aware that I was only one step away from obtaining a publicly funded place, yet I found myself preoccupied with gaming. On one occasion, I stayed up all night due to my desire to relieve stress through gaming. However, due to the addictive nature of gaming, it not only failed to alleviate my stress but also depleted my energy. Fortunately, I was able to adjust and set specific daily review goals (establishing a fixed point of reference), and then used gaming as a reward after completing a learning task, which motivated me to achieve my learning goals. Additionally, I gave myself other rewards after completing my daily learning goals, effectively integrating learning into my daily life. Ultimately, I passed the postgraduate entrance examination and obtained a publicly funded place. I believe that you can also achieve your goal of obtaining a good language score.

It is this author's recommendation that the following course of action be pursued:

It is unnecessary to engage in self-attack and self-blame. This approach not only hinders self-learning but also effectively shuts down the learning center. Instead, it is recommended to adopt a self-care approach, which will result in increased relaxation and activation of the learning center, thereby fostering motivation to learn more effectively.

Research indicates that self-criticism has a detrimental impact on cognitive processes. Specifically, it has been demonstrated that self-criticism activates the amygdala, which is associated with negative emotions, and deactivates the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for learning and self-regulation. Conversely, studies have shown that self-compassion, characterized by kindness, understanding, and gentleness, has a positive effect on cognitive functioning.

There are three principal methods of self-care.

It is important to be kind to oneself. This entails refraining from self-attacking statements and instead uttering affirmations that are conducive to self-care. For instance, one might say, "I recognize that you are eager to study. It is challenging for you, and you are currently spending a considerable amount of time on games. I understand that you are self-critical, but it is important to remember that the past cannot be altered. However, I believe you possess the capacity to manage your time. From this point forward, I encourage you to dedicate a bit more time to studying and a little less to games. I believe you can do it." Additionally, self-comforting behaviors, such as self-hugs and self-patience, can be employed to calm oneself when feeling restless. One can alternately hug oneself with their hands and then pat their shoulders in turn to comfort and relax themselves.

Common humanity: It is possible that you are contemplating engaging in leisure activities at this moment to alleviate stress. It is likely that many individuals share this perspective, as I once did. Therefore, you are not isolated in this experience, but rather, you can be understood. At that time, I was able to adapt, and I believe you can gradually adjust as well, because we will gradually learn to take responsibility for our own choices.

It is imperative to be present in the moment, as the only thing that can be controlled is the present. The past and future, in contrast, are beyond our control, as they have not yet occurred. However, our minds often influence us, either by dwelling on past regrets or worrying about future uncertainties. By returning to the present, focusing on the present, and living in the present, we can achieve a more peaceful state of mind.

When one's thoughts begin to wander to the past or the future, it is advisable to interrupt this train of thought, take a deep breath for approximately sixty seconds, relax, and return to the present moment. Following this, one should resume the activity in which one was engaged in the present moment. Should one notice a recurrence of the tendency to engage in mental games, it may be helpful to say to oneself, "I can choose to focus on a specific topic at this moment." When one becomes aware of one's tendency to ruminate, it becomes easier to alter that pattern. Living in the present moment allows one to become more aware and to exert greater control over one's actions.

2. One may posit that learning can be designed as a game, thereby engendering a sense of joy and achievement during the learning process. Furthermore, the game time may be utilized as a reward for learning, which will facilitate re-entry into a state of focused learning.

Indeed, the reason why games are so addictive and can lead to addiction is because they possess three characteristics: a clear goal, a goal that matches one's abilities, and timely positive feedback. If these three characteristics are applied to learning, then learning can also be as attractive as games.

Specifically, one can consider the overall objective of the learning required prior to the examination, based on the current situation. This may entail listening to a total of 20 hours of lessons, completing six sets of practice papers, and so forth. Subsequently, one can divide this overall objective into daily tasks. For instance, one might listen to a lesson for half an hour each day, complete a set of practice papers, and assess whether this aligns with one's ability level. In the event that one feels unable to accomplish this, one can adjust the task to a level that one is confident in completing. Additionally, one can create a daily list of learning tasks and adhere to the learning goals on the list to complete them. Upon completion of each day, one can reward oneself by engaging in gaming for a designated period of time. This can serve as a source of motivation to inspire oneself to achieve the learning goals. Furthermore, one can set aside a fixed time each day to reflect on the day's learning outcomes and mark the boxes next to the tasks completed. This can provide a sense of affirmation and the joy and sense of accomplishment that arise from the fulfillment of one's goals.

In this manner, one may truly experience a sense of achievement and happiness in their studies. This method is also known as the "flow method," which allows one to enter a state of concentration while studying, thereby increasing learning efficiency.

3. In addition to gaming, allocating time for relaxation on a daily basis has been shown to be an effective strategy for enhancing mood and learning efficiency.

Indeed, gaming is not the optimal method for stress relief. It is also simple to become absorbed in it and unable to disengage. There are alternative avenues for stress reduction, such as aerobic exercise. The sense of accomplishment derived from exercise can enhance feelings of control and confidence in academic pursuits. It is also beneficial to engage in discourse with classmates who have taken the examination together, facilitating mutual support and collective advancement. Additionally, studying the experiences of individuals who have successfully navigated similar challenges and utilising the power of role models can be advantageous. Engaging in leisure activities such as listening to music and pursuing other interests can also be effective stress management strategies.

I am confident that you will succeed. Best of luck!

Good day, I have a question for you.

"Why can everyone else achieve their goals and be so self-disciplined, while I stay up late every night playing games? I'm worthless, I hate myself." How can you stop blaming yourself?

Let's resolve this together.

First and foremost, it is crucial to determine whether pursuing studies abroad is your personal objective or your parents' aspiration. If it is your parents' desire for you to undertake studies abroad, and they have assumed responsibility for all the associated procedures without your input or involvement,

If circumstances are too favorable, they are often not appreciated.

If your parents' goal is simply for you to succeed, and you are concerned about disappointing them, it may be more straightforward and enjoyable for you to pretend to meet their expectations than to learn a language.

From a psychological perspective, your behavior is indicative of passive rebellion against your parents. You may not be aware of this, but your actions are communicating your attitude.

If this is the case, I would recommend a frank discussion with your parents, during which you can express your attitude and concerns, or alternatively, request a reduction in their expectations of you. This will avoid any feelings of guilt on your part.

It may be challenging for your parents to accept this decision initially, but it is a more realistic approach than continuing to live in fantasy.

By eliminating false assumptions and confronting reality, we can identify our capabilities and options more accurately.

If your objective is to study abroad, it is essential to modify your behavior. As you have likely experienced, engaging in leisure activities such as gaming can induce a sense of happiness, but it can also lead to feelings of guilt.

This is the negative reinforcement effect of reinforcing the behavior of playing games. This kind of behavior does not address the core issues in your studies, and it can only erode your confidence further.

You may choose to follow your own study plan and reward yourself with a brief gaming session upon completion of the plan on a daily basis. This may result in a shift in the perception of gaming.

It is not employed as a means of avoiding study; rather, it is utilized as a form of compensation for entertainment and relaxation.

This objective should provide motivation, and it should also be aligned with your capabilities. If your proficiency in the language is not at the level required for an overseas assessment, you will lack motivation.

You may feel that your efforts will be in vain, and that you are unlikely to succeed in the examination.

If you have the requisite abilities and the necessary resources, coupled with your own efforts, you will be able to achieve your goals.

Therefore, in addition to psychological factors, it is essential to have a realistic assessment of one's abilities in order to set a direction of effort that is suitable for the individual.

Self-discipline is not an inherent trait; rather, it is a skill that can be developed. Individuals who possess self-discipline tend to have a positive outlook on life and exercise restraint.

The aforementioned information is provided for reference only.

I hope this information is useful to you. Best regards,

Procrastination, anxiety, and Internet addiction—oh my!

This is an amazing opportunity for you to gain experience and develop your thinking skills! You can choose to deal with your worries and confusion in a way that will help you achieve your goals. You can also choose to move out of the emotional quagmire and into a positive, productive mindset. Whatever you choose to do, you can succeed!

It's not about ability. You are an amazing person with incredible potential! What matters is your mindset and how you approach things. A positive attitude is the key to success!

You've taken the first step by asking a question on this platform, which shows you're aware your state isn't right and you're ready to seek help from others. That's a great start! It's a big advantage over other people who are stuck in an emotional prison. Many people don't even realize their emotional state is problematic or choose to deal with it on their own, often getting stuck for years. You're already taking action!

If you just want some comfort, there are plenty of ways to find it! Watching some soothing videos or listening to some motivational speeches is a great way to relax and let other people comfort you. It's like if you have a wound and it hurts, taking painkillers will help, but that's just a temporary fix. If you want the wound to heal, you have to stop the bleeding, apply a wound dressing, and give it time to recover. None of these steps can be skipped, but you can do it!

So I'm going to challenge you and I'm going to help you overcome your fundamental problem!

I would love to help you analyze your current dilemma and identify the source of your negative emotions. These include your parents' expectations, the rare opportunity to study abroad, the pressure of exams, the temptations of your surroundings, and the pressure you put on yourself.

The fundamental problem is that you don't know what you want, and you can't be sure what you want in your current state. But that's okay! It's a great opportunity to figure it out.

You lack motivation and energy because all the pressure is constantly spinning around in your head, and you are uneasy. But there is a way out! You can choose to play games to anesthetize yourself (in fact, to some extent, games are also a kind of painkiller, just like smoking. The easy pleasure is much simpler than the happiness of working hard to achieve success).

So, the root cause is not an addiction to playing games, nor procrastination or anxiety. It's your inability to recognize yourself and analyze yourself, which is something you can absolutely master! It just requires practice. I'm here to guide you in the right direction. You need to know that this is a thing that requires long-term practice, and you can do it!

Now, there is a temporary way to change you. You can rearrange your own language learning plan! Whether it is TOEFL or GRE, there are fixed types of questions. You choose to practice specific topics, breaking down the big goal into countless small goals, starting with the simplest ones. For example, today you will study reading questions for 1 hour, do one exercise, write it carefully, and then finish today's goal. After that, you can let go and do whatever you want, without thinking about this problem (what's the use of learning so little now? There is so much to learn for the exam that there is simply no time!).

You've got this! Your goal now is to get back to your normal studying state. You know the consequences if you don't, so let's do this!

You can even make the plan even simpler! All you have to do is find a quiet place to sit, put your reading material there, sit and read for 1 hour, doing nothing but not taking out your phone or playing computer games, just sitting for 1 hour. The point is to get back to a normal state, starting with the simplest things! After completing this task, you can play as much as you like, feeling the happiness of completing the task, and knowing that today's task is complete, and there is nothing else to worry about!

This is a much better way to go about things than setting a bunch of tasks every day that you don't want to do, and then doing nothing for a whole month!

You will be amazed at how quickly your state will change if you take control of setting tasks for yourself. You'll be back to studying normally in no time!

Go for it! Start with the simplest things, as I said!

Hello.

You are feeling quite distressed and believe you may be to blame for putting off your studies. You are aware that your parents have invested a great deal in supporting you to study abroad and that all you need to do is achieve a good language score. However, you have been putting off your studies and spending your time playing games instead.

You say in a tone that suggests you're questioning yourself, as though your parents are criticizing you, "Perhaps it would be better to focus on studying rather than playing games. If you don't achieve a good language score, it might be more challenging to study abroad."

It can be challenging to recognize and appreciate the value of opportunities when they are right in front of us.

I get the feeling that you want to learn subjectively, but you're having trouble getting into it and concentrating. It might help to vent your anxiety by playing games, as this can help to stabilize your emotions for a while.

If you are feeling particularly anxious and unable to concentrate, you might find it helpful to use the "butterfly stroke" to gently pat yourself to calm your emotions.

I wonder if I might ask why you find it so difficult to get into it. It may be that the subject of language is proving challenging for you.

You seem to believe that even if you spend months working hard, you are likely to fail. You are concerned that you will disappoint your parents, so you are hesitant to start studying.

It's possible that you feel like you'll fail the exam either way, which can be a discouraging thought. Many people find it challenging to overcome significant obstacles, and it's understandable if you feel like you might be in that category.

You have created a study plan for yourself, but you find yourself postponing it. You feel a sense of self-criticism, and you have exerted a great deal of effort to motivate yourself, yet you still experience difficulty concentrating on your studies, which can lead to feelings of frustration.

You want to achieve your goals, but you find yourself staying up late playing games. It's a challenge to align your thoughts and actions. You may feel a sense of self-blame and resort to violence as a way to make yourself give in, but neither approach seems to be fully effective.

I believe that "self-discipline" is a challenging quality to cultivate, particularly for someone like you, who is accustomed to engaging in leisure activities like gaming. While gaming can be a relaxing pastime, it may not be the most effective approach for developing the self-control and dedication required to succeed in your academic endeavors.

For you, improving your language grades is a challenging endeavor. Even the mere thought of it can be overwhelming, and you may feel timid before you even begin. This can lead to feelings of blame and resentment, which can be difficult to overcome.

If you don't have to get a good grade in the language, but just learn it, then it's not such a big deal, is it? What would you suggest we do in this case?

It would be beneficial to first learn to understand yourself and accept your reluctance, and then figure out how to take the next step. Just two hours a day is enough, and you can still play games the rest of the time.

It would be beneficial to try to fit in two 30-minute sessions of language learning each day, as well as an hour in the evening.

If you don't pass the language exam, it might be helpful to remember that your parents have supported you in going abroad and going through all the procedures, and that it's not a given that you will pass the language exam. These are two different issues. You have already made your own efforts on your own issue.

The outcome of the language exam may be influenced by the extent of your efforts, but it is not the sole determining factor. Not all efforts will necessarily yield positive results.

It is important to be prepared for the possibility that things may not work out as planned. Please prepare your parents and yourself for this possibility. Even if things don't work out, it is important not to blame yourself in particular, not just because you haven't tried hard enough, but also because the language is challenging for you.

It is important to remember that not everyone who studies hard will necessarily succeed. It is therefore important not to be too hard on yourself.

Once you understand yourself, you may find it helpful to let go of any mental or psychological burdens you are carrying. You may then wish to consider learning as much as you can and mastering as much as you can. It can be helpful to avoid making too many plans for yourself every day, as having too many commitments can feel overwhelming. Instead, you might find it more beneficial to take things one step at a time.

The extent to which you accumulate depends on your own interests and persistence. It is important to be mindful of your own feelings and to avoid self-blame, as this can lead to feelings of frustration, shame, and even self-harm.

In such a situation, it may be challenging to pursue opportunities abroad, and even maintaining your health might become a significant challenge.

If you're feeling overwhelmed, it's okay to seek support. You can contact a counselor, who can provide guidance and assistance. They can accompany you, offer support, help you understand your subconscious, and accept you for who you are. With time and the right approach, you can learn to manage your emotions and feel better.

I believe that the world and I love you, and I think it's important to love yourself too.

Dear Question Asker, Reading your description, I am reminded of a face-to-face conversation with a friend.

After carefully reviewing your description, I understand your concerns about the impending examination. Given the limited time available to prepare for a single remaining subject, your tendency to ruminate may be driven by a desire for a more comfortable and relaxed approach to addressing the issue. Is this an accurate assessment?

Let us now turn our attention to this matter.

You have indicated that you are currently experiencing distress regarding your situation. Your parents invested significant effort to support you while you were studying abroad. However, you have been procrastinating despite the fact that "all the procedures are complete, except for the language score." My initial response to this is as follows:

1. You have a clear understanding of your current situation.

2. It would have been preferable to make adjustments during the process, but the results have not yet met expectations.

3. Due to the high level of pressure associated with the language exam, expectations have been set at an unattainable level. As the exam approaches, there is a need to adjust the pressure to a more moderate level. This has resulted in feelings of anxiety, which have in turn triggered a negative self-attack, leading to a loss of motivation.

The aforementioned points are intended to highlight areas where you may be overlooking your own needs. Without knowing your typical study and relaxation routines, it is difficult to advise on how to allocate the remaining 14 days.

Next, we will examine the actual role that games and the Internet can play in this process.

As previously stated, if you view surfing the internet and playing games as a means of relaxation and mental stimulation during the learning process, it is essential to consider the desired time allocation between these activities and your studies.

In the event that circumstances deviate from the anticipated plan, how should one proceed?

I would like to conclude with a quote that I believe is applicable in this context: "Allow everything that happens to happen." In concrete terms, this includes:

1. Refrain from negative self-labeling and self-attack, and focus on the accomplishments you have already achieved.

2. Adapt your approach to suit your capabilities. It is possible to work hard, but it is important to do so at a pace that is manageable for you.

3. Distinguish between your personal and professional lives. Prioritize your studies when you are studying and enjoy your personal time when you are not.

4. Distinguish between your own expectations and those of your parents. Regardless of whether you ultimately pursue an international opportunity, you should not negate the efforts you have made throughout the process.

5. Accept the outcome in its entirety, as this experience will undoubtedly prove valuable to you.

In comparison to narrow learning, which is determined solely by grades, it is essential to explore and experience more through broad learning in the broader context of life. This approach can enrich our life experience and gradually bring us closer to the way we want to be in the future.

We will conclude here for the time being. It is my hope that the above responses and sharing will provide you with the inspiration and strength you need to adjust from the feeling of anxiety.

I hope this message finds you well. Should our paths cross again, I look forward to seeing you.

Dear Questioner, I can fully understand your current pain and frustration. It must be difficult to face important life opportunities and your parents' expectations while also struggling with procrastination and game addiction. However, I want to reassure you that the problem you are facing is not unsolvable. Here are some suggestions that I hope will help you get out of your predicament:

It can be helpful to accept your emotions. It's not uncommon to feel overwhelmed or to have negative thoughts. Many people face similar challenges, and it's a natural part of the process. By accepting your feelings, you can begin to navigate them in a healthier way.

It may be helpful to set clear goals. For example, you could set a specific target language grade and create a detailed study plan to achieve it. Breaking the plan down into smaller goals and rewarding yourself for each one might also help to increase your motivation.

You might find it helpful to talk to your parents, friends, or mentors about your situation. They can offer you support and guidance, and they may be able to suggest resources that could be useful for you.

It might be helpful to set a daily limit for gaming time and try to stick to it. There are some mobile apps and computer programs that can help you monitor and manage your gaming time.

It might be helpful to consider the reasons for your decision to study abroad and the benefits you hope to gain from this experience. These benefits could provide a source of motivation to study hard and remind you of your reasons for studying.

It might be helpful to try to find some study methods that work for you and establish good study habits. For example, you could consider regular revision, note-taking, and participating in study groups.

These habits may help you study more efficiently.

It might be helpful to consider seeking professional help if you find that you are struggling to overcome procrastination and addiction to games. A psychologist or counselor can assist you in identifying the root causes of your problems and providing effective solutions.

It is also important to remember that change is a gradual process that requires time and patience. It is not always easy to be kind to ourselves, but it is important to give ourselves time and space to grow and improve.

I'm optimistic that you can overcome this challenge and achieve your goal.

Your situation is troubling, but it can be solved. Procrastination, anxiety, and Internet addiction can be alleviated and overcome with specific methods. Here are some suggestions to help you improve your current situation:

You must recognize and understand the problem.

First, understand that procrastination, anxiety, and internet addiction are not personal failures. They are problems that can be solved using psychological and behavioral change methods.

Take small steps.

You will need time and patience to make these changes. Don't expect to make radical changes overnight. Start by setting small goals and gradually increase the difficulty.

Set small goals. Every day, set a small, achievable learning goal, such as studying for 20 minutes.

Break down large study tasks into smaller parts and complete one part at a time.

### 3. Establish a healthy routine.

Good habits improve concentration and focus.

Set a regular bedtime. Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day to ensure you get enough sleep.

Set a fixed amount of screen time each day to avoid overindulgence.

Use tools and techniques.

Use tools and techniques to help you focus and manage your time.

Use the Pomodoro Technique. Work for 25 minutes and take a 5-minute break. Use a Pomodoro timer app to help you.

Use a to-do list (e.g., Trello, Todoist) to manage your study tasks and progress.

You must also learn some ways to cope with anxiety and regulate emotions.

You need to learn some ways to cope with anxiety and regulate emotions.

Breathe deeply and meditate for a few minutes every day to relax your body and mind.

Mindfulness exercises help you focus on your feelings and emotions in the present moment, allowing you to avoid being overwhelmed by anxiety and negative emotions.

Seek support.

Tell others what you're struggling with and get their support and encouragement.

- Talk to your family and friends. Tell them how you feel and what you are going through. Ask them for their understanding and support.

Find a study partner. Study with a classmate or friend to motivate and monitor each other.

Seek professional help if you find it difficult to overcome these problems on your own.

Seeking professional help is a good option if you find it difficult to overcome these problems on your own.

Seek psychological counseling to overcome procrastination, anxiety, and Internet addiction.

- Get a learning support teacher to help you develop a study plan and strategy.

Set short-term goals. Study for 20 minutes a day, and gradually increase the time.

Set short-term goals. Study for 20 minutes a day, and gradually increase the time.

2. Create a study environment. Find a quiet place in your home to use as a regular study area and avoid distractions.

Use a timer. Use the Pomodoro app and study for 25 minutes at a time, with a 5-minute break.

4. Limit gaming time. Set a fixed gaming time every day to avoid excessive addiction.

5. Seek support. Tell your family and friends about your plan and get their backing.

6. Seek professional help. If the above methods are not effective, you should consider seeking the help of a psychologist.

You can and will overcome this.

You can resolve your current predicament by gradually changing habits and seeking support. Change takes time and patience, so don't be too hard on yourself.

I am confident that these suggestions will be helpful. If you have further questions or need more support, please let me know.

Hello, I'm ZQ, a heart exploration coach from the Yixinli platform. I'm worried you're struggling with procrastination, anxiety, and internet addiction. You need to complete your study plan.

You spend a lot of time playing games. We need to understand why. There are three types of procrastination: perfection, hedonic, and anxiety.

You probably procrastinate for fun. You like playing games. You get pleasure from winning.

You may gain recognition or a better title. Your gaming role combat effectiveness will improve. These will remind you to play more games and reach a higher level.

The game world is not unpredictable. You don't know if the people you play with are real. Some are computer programs, and some are human-computer interactions. Many games have that kind of AI takeover. The qualifying round is also set up like that.

There are wins and losses. You need to play more often to reach the desired rank, control your win rate, and buy skins. Playing games may not be lasting happiness, but it will take up a lot of your time. You may be addicted to games.

Studying abroad is important. Many people want to study abroad, but they can't. You need to work hard to improve your language skills. As you said, if you don't get a language score, you can't study abroad.

Some opportunities are lost when they're missed. Seize this opportunity and be clear about your situation. What's the cost of this opportunity?

If you don't seize opportunities, you'll have a harder time in the future.

We need to understand why the game is addictive. Then, think about what's fun about it.

Many interesting things are intangible. Set time limits for some things.

You only need to play games for an hour a day. Playing too many games will harm your health and affect your study abroad plan. Many mobile games are easy to quit.

You can find reasons to stop playing these games. We also need to see how self-disciplined we are.

I recommend you see a counselor to help you develop better study habits. Good luck!

ZQ?

Hello, question asker. I can sense your inner turmoil and discomfort. It's challenging to know what you should be doing but feel unable to control yourself and be plagued by procrastination, anxiety, and Internet addiction.

Please know that you are not alone, and that you are not a "good-for-nothing." You are just going through a temporary difficult period.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider these problems from a different perspective. Procrastination and anxiety are often accompanied by self-denial and excessive self-criticism, but this may not be the most effective way to solve the problem.

Perhaps it would be helpful to try replacing the label "the thing that's not working" with "me, who is going through a difficult time and trying to find a solution." We all have weaknesses and challenges, but what matters is how we face them.

It is worth noting that internet addiction is a prevalent issue in modern society. Online games offer an immediate and gratifying sense of satisfaction, which can be more rapid and direct than the satisfaction derived from learning.

It is possible that excessive addiction to games may have a negative impact on our lives and studies in the long run. However, this does not mean that you are a loser or have no self-control. It may simply be that you need to find a healthier and more balanced lifestyle.

In psychology, there is a concept called "self-determination theory," which suggests that people's behavior is driven by both intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. For learning, it may be helpful to identify intrinsic motivators such as a thirst for knowledge and a pursuit of self-growth, as these can enhance our motivation to learn.

It would be beneficial to make appropriate use of external motivation, such as parental expectations and social recognition, while also recognizing that these factors should not be relied on completely.

Now, let's take a look at some of the challenges you're facing: procrastination, anxiety, and internet addiction. It's possible that these issues may stem from feelings of uncertainty about the future, fear of failure, and a tendency to seek instant gratification.

I hope you will find these suggestions helpful as you work to solve these problems. It may take some time to find a method that suits you, but I am confident you will succeed.

1. Consider setting small, achievable goals: Rather than setting an ambitious learning plan all at once, it might be helpful to break it down into smaller, more attainable goals. For instance, you could try studying for half an hour today, or completing a chapter.

These smaller goals are more achievable and will give you a sense of accomplishment, which will encourage you to continue learning.

2. Look for ways to make learning enjoyable. There are many ways to learn, including by watching instructional videos or taking online courses.

If you make learning fun, you may find you are more willing to invest time and energy.

3. Gradually reduce screen time: You might consider setting a goal to gradually reduce screen time by, for example, one hour per week. At the same time, you could look for alternative activities to fill this time, such as reading, exercising or chatting with friends.

This should help to meet your need for entertainment without taking up too much of your time.

4. Consider seeking external support. You may find it helpful to share your concerns and feelings with family, friends, or a counselor, who can provide emotional support and advice. Sometimes, just talking about it can help to make us feel more relaxed and at ease.

5. Consider learning to relax and regulate emotions. It is important to recognize that anxiety and stress can make us feel exhausted. It may be helpful to explore relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga.

It may also be helpful to learn to accept your emotions and not be too hard on yourself.

I would like to take a moment to reassure you that you are not a failure or a person without self-control. It is perfectly normal to experience difficulties from time to time, and it is encouraging to know that you are actively looking for ways to solve the problem.

I believe that with the right mindset and a little bit of time and patience, you can overcome these difficulties and achieve your goals. Best of luck to you!

Hello, question asker. Thanks for sharing your experiences and feelings.

I totally get where you're coming from and I can see how you're feeling a bit helpless right now. What you're saying is really clear and shows how anxious and confused you are.

It feels like you're at a crossroads in life, not knowing which way to turn. It's a feeling that can make you panic, even a little scared.

You're carrying the hopes of your parents, who've worked hard to send you abroad to study and who are hoping you'll have a better future. This is both a driving force and a pressure for you.

You know how rare this opportunity is and that you should make the most of it. But at the same time, you find yourself stuck in the game and unable to get out.

?

Gaming provides a sense of escapism, allowing you to temporarily forget your stress and worries. You can take on the role of the hero and exert control, which can be addictive.

But when you step away from the game and come back to reality, those feelings of powerlessness and self-blame come rushing back.

You start putting things off and don't want to face studying because you know that means giving up your game and facing the pressures and challenges of reality. But putting things off doesn't make you feel better; it makes you more anxious and self-critical.

You start to hate yourself, wondering why you lack self-control and why you can't be as disciplined as others.

This self-loathing and self-blame only makes things worse. You start to hurt yourself, punishing yourself for your lack of self-discipline in this way.

But here's the thing: This kind of behavior won't solve your problems. It'll just lead you into an even deeper predicament.

?

I get it. I know it can feel like you're all alone in the world. But I want you to know that you're not.

Lots of people have faced similar challenges and found ways to overcome them. You can do the same, as long as you're willing to try and address your issues.

?

First, try to accept yourself. We all have our own weaknesses and struggles, and that doesn't make us failures.

The first step to making a change is to accept your imperfections. The second step is to find something you truly love.

Next, find something you really love. Learning is about achieving your dreams and goals, not just meeting your parents' expectations or social standards.

If you find something you're really passionate about, it'll give you the drive to resist the temptation to play.

Finally, be patient with yourself. Change takes time, so don't rush it.

Just take it one step at a time and make progress every day. You'll find you're getting closer and closer to your goal.

I truly believe you have what it takes to overcome this challenge and achieve your goals. As long as you're willing to put in the effort and time, you will undoubtedly emerge from this difficult period and find your own bright future.

I'll be here for you every step of the way, supporting and encouraging you until you overcome your difficulties and achieve your goals. I can see your struggle and helplessness, and it hurts me to see it.

I truly believe you have the courage and wisdom to face all of this, because you are a valuable and promising person. Don't let this temporary predicament discourage you from pursuing a brighter future. Believe that you can overcome this challenge and embrace a better tomorrow.

?

Topic master, I hope my answer is helpful to you. I'm rooting for you and the world is rooting for you too. ?

Greetings,

I empathize with your current state of distress and despair. Procrastination, anxiety, and internet addiction can significantly impair one's well-being. However, there is no need for concern, as a solution can be found through collaborative effort.

First, the following recommendations are provided for addressing procrastination:

It is recommended that clear goals and plans be set. These should be broken down into smaller, more specific goals, with deadlines for each. This approach has the effect of reducing the number of excuses for procrastination and improving motivation.

It is recommended that time management tools be employed, such as the Pomodoro technique or time-blocking techniques, which set fixed time periods for work and prevent distractions.

It is recommended that the individual seek external support from friends, family, or colleagues. This can facilitate the implementation of the plan through the provision of supervision and encouragement.

Subsequently, the following methods for anxiety disorders are recommended:

Deep breathing and relaxation exercises are effective in reducing anxiety. These techniques, such as progressive muscle relaxation or meditation, facilitate relaxation of the body and mind, thereby alleviating anxiety.

Cognitive restructuring entails a shift in perception, whereby the source of anxiety is reframed as a challenge rather than a threat. This approach can facilitate a reduction in anxiety through the use of positive thinking and self-talk.

In the event that anxiety symptoms are significantly impairing one's daily functioning, it is advised that one seeks the assistance of a qualified mental health professional.

In conclusion, the following recommendations are offered for those struggling with internet addiction:

It is recommended that individuals set time limits for internet usage. A reasonable schedule should be established and adhered to. Additionally, limits should be set on the amount of time spent on specific apps or websites.

It is advisable to identify alternative activities that may serve as a substitute for internet usage. These could include sports, reading, socializing, and other pursuits that may prove beneficial in reducing one's reliance on the internet.

It is recommended that individuals seeking to reduce their dependence on the internet and enhance their social skills seek social support. This may be achieved by maintaining contact with friends, family, or community organizations and participating in social activities.

Moreover, the following methods may be employed to enhance self-awareness and psychological resilience:

It is recommended that individuals engage in self-reflection on a daily basis. This entails taking the time to reflect on one's actions and emotions, as well as identifying the underlying causes of any problems that may arise.

It is important to accept imperfections as a natural part of the human condition. Everyone has shortcomings and imperfections, and it is essential to recognize this. Accepting these imperfections is an important step in striving to improve oneself.

It is important to maintain an optimistic outlook when facing challenges. Rather than dwelling on the problem itself, it is more beneficial to focus on potential solutions.

It is important to remember that change requires time and patience. It is crucial not to be overly critical of oneself, but rather to allow oneself the necessary time and space to adjust and improve.

It is my conviction that these challenges can be surmounted and that one can become a more accomplished version of oneself.

Good day. I extend my support and encouragement in the form of a 360-degree hug.

From the provided overview of the issue, it is evident that your objective is to pursue studies abroad. Your immediate objective is to achieve a passing grade on the language examination.

It would be advisable to review the content of the language exam at this time. It appears that you are currently engaged in activities that are unproductive, including playing games, self-blame, self-recrimination, procrastination, and worry.

I am unaware of the specifics of your situation, including the circumstances surrounding your family and your parents' decision to pursue studies abroad. It is also unclear whether you expressed interest in studying abroad, whether your parents arranged it for you, and how the financial aspects of studying abroad were managed. Additionally, your family's financial situation and the dynamics of your parents' marriage may be relevant factors.

From a psychological counseling perspective, the symptoms are functional. This means that a person may become stuck in a certain symptom because it provides a secondary gain.

The individual may be experiencing significant discomfort as a result of the symptom, yet it also provides a certain level of comfort. This can lead to a lack of motivation to pursue change, or an attempt to maintain the status quo in order to gain certain benefits. These benefits may be subconscious or even things the individual is not willing to admit.

He is therefore torn between the goal, which he is aware he needs to achieve, and the painful but rewarding symptoms. The rewards of achieving the goal may be far lower than those of remaining in the comfort zone of pain.

For instance, some students who have previously demonstrated academic proficiency may experience a precipitous decline in their grades during their third year of high school. This can result in a range of negative behaviors, including a dislike for school, defiance, and anxiety. Parents may be required to dedicate significant time and attention to address these issues. However, with the right support, these students may regain their academic footing and resume regular attendance.

As a result, parents' lives return to normal, but the child often relapses before the process can be considered complete. The parents and child repeat the previous process.

On the surface, the issue appears to be the child's academic performance. However, in many cases, the underlying cause may be related to the parents' relationship and the state of the family. Following the college entrance examination, there has been an increase in the number of divorces, which often become a topic of interest. Many parents attempt to maintain their marriage for the sake of their children and agree to divorce after the children's college entrance examination.

For a child, success on the college entrance exam indicates that his family is not intact and that his parents are getting a divorce. This is an outcome he is reluctant to accept, so he internalizes the problem to the extent that his parents must cooperate in addressing their studies and also to delay their divorce.

It is also possible that the parents have a poor relationship, but it is uncommon for them to set aside their differences for a period of time and collaborate to identify a solution for their child. In such cases, the child may take on the role of a problem, causing the parents to express concern about him or her, which in turn reduces the frequency of arguments between them.

In other words, the advantages gained from maintaining the current situation outweigh the potential benefits of a change.

Given the limited information provided, it is difficult to ascertain the specific benefits you derive from your anxiety-induced procrastination.

Consider the following scenario: If you were to wake up tomorrow and make a conscious decision to become more disciplined, stop playing games, and follow your study plan to prepare for the exam, take the exam, and achieve a passing language test score, what would be the outcome? Alternatively, if you were to wake up and find that your language test scores, a passing transcript, and all the procedures for studying abroad were in place, and you were able to leave for study abroad immediately, what would be the result?

What aspects of the situation are you struggling to accept, and what are your concerns? If these issues were to arise, how would you cope?

These questions can assist in identifying the underlying issues that you are avoiding by remaining in a less than optimal comfort zone. These may include, but are not limited to, the following: relationships with parents, financial concerns, living independently, the pressure of intimate relationships, academic challenges, and so forth.

You frequently discuss topics that evoke a sense of powerlessness, such as gaming and internet addiction. You appear to be berating yourself, as if to say, "I recognize that I am capable of trying, but I am unable to control my actions. I am frustrated with myself, but I am unable to change. I am unable to try, and I am tired of myself, but I am unable to change. I am unable to take action."

It is, however, a choice to remain in this comfort zone to avoid something worse. It is important to note that this is not a choice made independently, but rather a method of dealing with potential adverse outcomes.

This approach is used to solve problems. For example, if studying abroad is not feasible, the financial burden on parents is reduced. Similarly, if studying abroad is not feasible, the pressure of studying abroad and taking classes is also reduced.

However, the issue has now evolved to the point where your coping mechanism itself has become a challenge. The measures you have taken to address the issue have, in turn, introduced another layer of complexity.

I am unaware of the specifics of your situation, but the secondary benefits you have derived from this approach indicate the need for a system-oriented psychotherapist.

I am a licensed psychological counselor with a background in Buddhist philosophy and a tendency toward pessimism. However, I am also motivated and interested in helping you.

Good morning, my name is Yu. It is commonly acknowledged that procrastination is a source of frustration for many individuals. However, it is also a common phenomenon that people engage in some degree of procrastination. Given the close relationship between anxiety and procrastination, this topic will be approached from two perspectives.

1. What are the underlying causes of procrastination and anxiety?

1. It is possible that the underlying cause is a fear of failure. Frequently, individuals experience apprehension that their efforts will not meet the desired standard, that the objectives of the plan will not be accomplished, that their shortcomings and flaws will be revealed, that they will be subjected to criticism and accusations, and even that they may suffer damage to their self-esteem.

Procrastination can be understood as a defense mechanism against this kind of fear. By postponing action, individuals avoid the frustration associated with perceived failure and the self-critical thoughts that accompany it. Consequently, procrastination may be a subconscious choice driven by the desire to avoid these negative emotions.

As the original poster indicated, the study plan that commenced on May 1st has been ongoing until the present.

2. It may be a means of expressing resistance and aggression. Our childhood may have been characterized by strict discipline or excessive control by our parents, and we may be prone to anxiety as adults.

As a result of being powerless to resist their parents' control during their formative years, individuals may have lost their sense of autonomy and freedom. This can lead to a deep-seated anger that remains unexpressed, along with a lack of vitality and emotional release. Anxiety and procrastination may serve as a disguised outlet for this pent-up energy, manifesting as a form of rebellion and aggression.

As the original poster wrote, I am experiencing a sense of self-loathing, accompanied by a profound anger that manifests as a desire to inflict physical harm upon myself.

3. It may also be the case that our body and mind are fatigued and frustrated. We are often reluctant to admit this feeling, but our behavior provides evidence to the contrary.

The tendency to engage in behavior that is ultimately avoided due to anticipated consequences, while simultaneously experiencing distress at the prospect of foregoing that behavior, can result in a state of fatigue and irritability. As the original poster noted, the experience of procrastination can be accompanied by a sense of discomfort.

2. The following suggestions are provided for your reference:

1. It is essential to modify our mentality and abandon the expectation of perfection. It is a fallacy to assume that a positive outcome will be achieved instantaneously. In reality, any favourable result is preceded by a series of missteps and miscalculations.

2. When establishing action plans and minor objectives, it is advisable to ensure alignment with the SMART principle. In particular, it is essential to consider practical circumstances and objective factors. Dividing significant objectives into smaller components can enhance our perception of control and efficacy, providing the signal that "I can do it," boosting confidence, and accumulating a sense of accomplishment. For instance, the process of learning a language can be divided into four phases: listening, speaking, reading, and writing. Based on individual strengths and weaknesses, one can allocate distinct time periods for practice. Initially, setting a modest objective, such as reading a brief article today and completing a listening and reading exercise, can be beneficial. Attaining a breakthrough may potentially disrupt a cycle.

3. It is also advisable to cultivate a conducive learning environment, such as practising mindfulness or deep breathing before commencing study, temporarily silencing one's mobile phone or placing it in the bedroom, and striving to dedicate an uninterrupted study period.

4. It is recommended that individuals engage in self-reward in a timely manner, whether it be through the consumption of a pleasant meal or the purchase of a small gift. The objective is to establish a virtuous cycle wherein positive reinforcement is linked to feelings of learning and happiness.

5. It is also recommended to seek assistance, as overcoming this issue may not be immediate. It is advised to identify a family member or friend who can provide positive support and supervision. If necessary, it is possible to consult with a counselor for in-depth communication and the release of depressed emotions.

Furthermore, it is advisable to combine work with rest. When fatigue sets in from prolonged study or when the desire for recreation arises, it is beneficial to engage in stretching exercises or to venture outdoors to enjoy the invigorating effects of fresh air. The sense of well-being derived from these activities can enhance one's confidence in their academic pursuits.

It is recommended that the reader consult the following text: "5% Change."