Rebuilding Confidence - How to Eliminate Inefficiency Feelings

Hello, It's like seeing someone in person when you read their words.

Even though the description is short, I can tell you're very aware of what's going on. You know what you need to do, but you're stuck in a sense of powerlessness.

Let's talk about this situation.

You said you've had some setbacks recently. It seems like they're caused by not being able to demonstrate your abilities, but you also feel like you can't. I want to understand more about this.

1. When did this happen?

2. Can you tell me a bit more about the specific kinds of setbacks you've experienced?

3. What's the deeper reason for the sense of powerlessness in yourself, apart from not showing your abilities and feeling like you really can't?

The above three points are meant to help you see the child within you who hasn't yet fully accepted yourself. To put it simply, you haven't yet fully allowed yourself to be incompetent.

Let's shift our perspective and take a look at this.

If you feel like you're not up to the task when you face a setback, it just means that the feeling of incompetence is mostly present in those setbacks. But once you switch to something else, your feelings are likely to change.

Let me give you an example that might be easier to understand. Let's say a certain partner is really good at long-distance running. If he switches to swimming, he might not be as good at that as he is at running. So, we shouldn't ignore his specialty in long-distance running just because he's not as good at swimming.

In psychology, there are two effects: the "short board effect" and the "long board effect." When you combine them and adjust the direction, you get this: We should pay more attention to our long boards of abilities in life and then allow ourselves to have short boards while maximizing the long boards. Why? Because if we don't experience it, we won't know if we have partners to make up for it or even if they don't care about our short boards at all, while at the same time appreciating our long boards.

It's also possible that what you see as a drawback is actually a plus in the eyes of others.

So, I get where you're coming from with wanting to get rid of these feelings of inadequacy. But, if we're being honest, the best way to live a more genuine life is to embrace these feelings and accept them fully.

Confidence comes from being true to yourself.

I've got an important message for you: you only need to be yourself from start to finish.

I hope this sharing and the responses you've received will give you some ideas on how to rebuild your confidence.

I hope you're well and we'll meet again if it's meant to be.

Hello! I'm thrilled to answer your question and I truly hope my sharing can help you.

[The path to ability may require a method]

From never believing in yourself to being confident, the method you need in between is practice!

From complaining to taking responsibility, there are so many amazing methods in between! These include paying attention, following up on implementation, and constantly reminding yourself of your own beliefs, such as "I can be responsible for my own life," etc.

From "I can't do it" to "I can do it," it's a process, and the methods in between also vary from person to person. And it's a process you can do!

Absolutely! Through continuous exploration, experimentation, and fearlessness in the face of failure, you will find a way that suits you.

Focus on the method and practice it!

[Regarding setbacks, focus on what you have gained]

Every single step of your life counts!

Focus on all the amazing things you've gained from your setbacks!

It has definitely enhanced my ability to cope with stress!

Maybe it was the extra time I got to rest!

I think I've even come to understand some human nature!

Every gain is a pearl! When you collect them together, they form a unique necklace of your own.

[Small steps forward]

I'd love to share a personal experience with you!

Whenever I'm not feeling well, I write in my success journal, and behind every success, there are more than three thank-you lists! For example:

Guess what! Today I went shopping and bought some clothes that I like. I'm so grateful to my husband for driving and keeping me company, to the service staff for their patience, and to my child for being cooperative and not crying.

The feeling of being connected to others is an incredible source of empowerment and strength!

The best solution is in your own hands! I truly believe that the questioner will be able to explore a method that suits them and will be able to unlock their own potential. Best wishes! The world and I love you ??

Hello. You feel frustrated and powerless. You hope to break through this and rebuild your confidence.

Life setbacks can lead to depression and self-doubt. Thoughts like "Did I do something wrong?", "Do I lack the ability?" and "Am I not going to get it?" are common. This may be a reaction to a situation, but if it persists, it may be a deeper issue.

People need to feel competent. This is not the same as being able to do something. It is about feeling confident and capable.

Many people lack a sense of ability. They think winning is good luck and losing is because they are incompetent.

This is related to cognitive models. If it is a fixed mindset, it sees every action as a test of ability. Confidence comes from proving one's abilities to the outside world.

The growth mindset says that neither failure nor success is a good way to judge someone's value or ability. We can learn new skills and improve on old ones. We don't have to prove ourselves to others or rely on their opinions. We can just try our best to learn and grow.

Self-determination theory says that we gain a sense of competence from overcoming difficulties, not from easily achieved goals. When we overcome obstacles, it gives us a lasting sense of competence.

To find your sense of competence, think about your past experiences, how you learned, and how you felt after overcoming difficulties.

Good day, question author. I am Gu Daoxi Feng Shou Lu, the Heart Exploration coach.

The notion of a perfect deity is a construct of the human mind; there is no empirical evidence to suggest the existence of such a being. It is, therefore, unsurprising that individuals, despite their best efforts, may not achieve absolute perfection. It is, therefore, illogical for the questioner to experience anxiety.

The questioner indicated that they have recently experienced some setbacks and perceive themselves to be incapable. However, prior to this setback, were they capable in this area? Or was it due to a significant setback occurring in a relatively short period of time that dampened their enthusiasm?

Attempting to discern the fundamental nature of the issue may assist the inquirer in distancing themselves from their subjective sentiments and making an objective determination.

It is advisable to gain an understanding of one's strengths and weaknesses, to accept one's shortcomings, and to recognize one's strengths. This will facilitate a more objective evaluation on the part of the questioner and assist the questioner in directing their efforts in a constructive manner.

The question owner may attempt to implement certain methodologies to assist in the process of discernment.

Some argue that if one does not work in the correct direction, all efforts will be futile. Others maintain that one should build on one's strengths and avoid one's weaknesses. This suggests that it is crucial to leverage one's strengths to achieve results, as confronting one's weaknesses will not lead to progress and may even exacerbate confusion.

One must consider whether a lack of knowledge is due to the fact that the task is being attempted for the first time and the individual is therefore uncertain of the correct procedure, or whether it is simply a matter of ineptitude. Similarly, one must determine whether the experience of failure is a result of having exerted one's best efforts and being unable to accept the unsatisfactory outcome, or whether it is a consequence of having failed to apply sufficient effort and being unwilling to acknowledge this. Once the fundamental reasons for being unable to complete a task have been identified, it may be possible to reduce the confusion and uncertainty that accompany such experiences, and to gain a clearer understanding of the necessary steps to be taken.

It is important to acknowledge the impact of deliberate practice on the path to proficiency. All individuals must navigate a period of adjustment as they transition from unfamiliarity to familiarity. It is crucial to be patient with oneself, to cultivate a growth mindset, and to recognize that effort and time are essential for learning and skill development.

It is recommended that the questioner attempt to reconcile with themselves and allow themselves to be less accepting of their own self-perception. This will help to reduce anxiety and facilitate the development of a learning plan that is more aligned with their needs and capabilities in the future.

Life can be conceptualized as a series of discrete events, or "dots," that comprise a continuous line. A transient setback does not signify a definitive outcome. Instead, reflecting on and analyzing the experience following a failure can enhance its intrinsic value.

Some posit that failure is the mother of success. If one must learn this lesson, it is advisable to do so as soon as possible. By turning back sooner, one can avoid significant losses. Additionally, it is possible to review one's failures and learn from them more expediently, thereby increasing the likelihood of success.

One may posit that setting modest objectives in accordance with one's abilities would render the attainment of said objectives less arduous. Furthermore, such an approach would foster self-assurance and a sense of fulfillment with each incremental triumph.

It is recommended that the following texts be read: "5% Change," "Lifelong Growth," and "Grit."

The aforementioned opinions are intended for reference only. Best wishes!

Hello, I'm Coach Yu from XinTan, and I'm going to discuss this topic with you.

Emotional perception is our ability to recognize, control, and regulate our emotions. It is also a manifestation of emotional intelligence.

In "The Plastic Me," Chen Jiejun writes: Many people are unable to deal with things or emotions because they confuse feelings, emotions, and thoughts.

Feelings are the physiological and biological responses of the human body to external stimuli.

If someone stabs you with a needle, you feel pain. If the north wind blows in winter, you feel cold. These are feelings. They include responses to external and internal stimuli.

As the questioner wrote, I have recently suffered some setbacks. After analyzing the situation, I can confidently say that I have not yet shown my abilities.

Emotion is people's reaction to feelings.

For example, when the environment is hot, your palms will sweat and your heart will beat faster. Emotions are the irritability or excitement you feel when your body is enthusiastic and your heart is beating fast. Emotions and feelings generally respond through the peripheral nervous system.

As the questioner wrote, "But I feel that I really can't! Am I really incapable?"

The idea is this: it's how a person understands and interprets their feelings and emotions.

Thoughts originate in the central nervous system because they involve understanding and interpretation.

As the questioner wrote, I am incompetent. How can I eliminate this sense of incompetence?

Next, we will examine this process to understand our emotional changes and manage and express our emotions to solve the problem of emotional perception.

When I reflect on some setbacks, I recognize that my feelings and thoughts are caused by my own inability to demonstrate my abilities. I am learning to accept responsibility for my actions.

We must ask ourselves: What abilities do these recent events require? What conditions do they require?

We must also ask ourselves what we did that led to these setbacks and what we were thinking at the time.

I want to know what emotions and feelings this brings up in me.

When I feel that I really can't do it and doubt my abilities, I recognize that I'm inexperienced with these things for the first time. I know it shouldn't be that difficult. I just need to accept that I really can't do it!

Think back to your childhood. When you first started to walk or hold a chopstick, were you interrupted and stopped countless times by your mother's worries and anxieties and fears of dire consequences? Over time, we will judge ourselves when we are unsure about something, and that is, "I can't do it well." At this time, our self-efficacy will gradually become a problem, so that we become vulnerable as adults.

Therefore, feelings, emotions, and thoughts are the result of the coordination between the nervous system and the brain. A smooth relationship makes you feel calm.

It is important to be aware of our emotions and to record what we are feeling at the moment. Your writing is for yourself, so you should feel free to write about your feelings honestly and openly. This will help us understand the causes and effects of emotions and also help us identify the root of the problem.

We can and should evaluate our own strengths and weaknesses objectively. We can and should brag about our strengths and accept our shortcomings. In doing so, we will slowly but surely accumulate a sense of confidence.

When we take on a new task or deal with something, we can consider practical circumstances and objective factors and break down big goals into small ones. This increases our sense of control and efficacy, giving us the signal that "I can do it." At the same time, we should reward ourselves for each small goal achieved and connect the feeling of completing the task with happiness. This forms a virtuous cycle and positive reinforcement, which enhances our self-confidence and accumulates our sense of accomplishment. Start with the little things around you and achieve a breakthrough to break a cycle.

Seek help if this bothers you. It's not easy to overcome it immediately. Find a family member or friend who he trusts and has always given him positive support to talk to. If you need to, find a counselor. Emotions must have an outlet to relieve the heaviness and blockage in our hearts.

We must keep exploring the path of self-improvement and self-awareness. We will discover our own unique value and construct a self-assessment system. Read more to enrich yourself, exercise more to strengthen yourself. When you have a stable core, you will confidently show yourself and calmly face life.

Read this book: Know Thyself, Accept Thyself.

Good morning, I hope this message finds you well. I am contacting you today regarding a question you posed. Thank you for your interest in our product. Please let me know if I can be of further assistance. Best regards, [Name] [Position]

Kindly extend a warm embrace.

You have expressed concern that you have experienced setbacks recently. After conducting a thorough self-assessment, you believe that your lack of demonstration of abilities may be the cause. However, you are unsure if you possess the necessary capabilities to succeed.

"What should you do if you feel you lack the necessary competence?"

Good day, Mr. Tian. Your issue is that you have encountered some challenges, and you believe these challenges are a result of your perceived lack of ability. Initially, this perception was optional. What could be attributing this perception? Factors such as effort and stability could be contributing to this perception.

To illustrate, if an employee does not perform well in an evaluation, and if they believe that they lack the requisite skills, that they are inherently unqualified, or that their background is a disadvantage, then they will feel unable to succeed and may become demotivated. However, if they recognise that they did not perform well initially because they did not apply themselves sufficiently, and that they will continue to work hard, then every setback will motivate them to keep striving and they will become more capable.

The ability is composed of knowledge and skills. Knowledge refers to the knowledge acquired by an individual, while skills are refined through practical application. To gain abilities, it is essential to not only expand one's knowledge but also to engage in skills and techniques development. This requires a willingness to embrace failure as a learning opportunity and to invest time in practice to enhance abilities.

It is a fallacy to believe that one is born with superhuman abilities. We all grow gradually through the trials of the world. There is no need to worry; take your time. I will get stronger too. I can become capable too, as long as I believe in myself.

That will be all for now. Best regards, [Name]