Recent graduates, no longer wish to avoid life changes, what suggestions do you have?

Dear question owner,

Every profession has its challenges. When applying to university, there are many discouraging comments online about various majors, such as medical students saying, "Don't study medicine," and law students saying, "Don't study law." However, it's important to consider whether these majors are truly as unfavorable as they're portrayed to be.

It's also worth noting that people may sometimes discourage you from pursuing certain career paths. For instance, our tutors advised us against becoming tutors, and my cousin, who works in finance, mentioned that the job has presented some challenges. It's understandable that money is not easy to earn, and there are few professions that can guarantee a profit.

It is not necessarily the case that a job must be in the same field as your major. For example, I am a psychology major graduate, but neither I nor many of my classmates were able to find a job in our field. We all took jobs that were related to our field. So if you really don't want to do a job related to your major, you might like to consider other jobs and choose a job that does not require a strong specialty.

If you have overcome your fears about employment and have set a goal, it might be time to start taking action.

Firstly, it would be beneficial to adjust your biological clock and set a timetable. It is not necessary to be overly detailed, simply setting the times for getting up, eating meals and going to bed is sufficient. Additionally, it would be helpful to put your phone out of reach before going to bed, as this will make it easier to get up early if you go to sleep early. By setting the times for getting up, going to bed, and eating meals, the general framework of your life will be set, and it will be much easier to add tasks to the divided time.

Secondly, it would be beneficial to create a resume that represents your best self. You can leave the job application intention part blank for now and complete the other parts. You may find it helpful to seek guidance from some teachers or tutors, or to talk to your classmates about how to make your resume more effective. There are also many videos online about creating resumes that you may find useful. Taking the first step in job hunting is an important one: getting your resume right is a great place to start.

In order to find a good job, grades, comprehensive tests, CET-4 and CET-6, etc. are still very important. If you are graduating at the end of this semester, I believe you are not required to attend class at this time. Are you preparing your thesis?

With spring recruitment on the horizon, it might be a good idea to start planning the steps of your thesis. You could break it down into small steps, complete each one one by one, and give yourself a small reward for each step, such as treating yourself to an ice lolly. You could also look at some of the certificates you can take at this stage and get moving.

If you don't plan to take a certification exam, you might consider seeking an internship. Having internship experience could be an advantage when you look for a job in the spring.

I hope my answer is helpful to the questioner and I wish them well.

Change is the only constant in life. We must face it.

Changing majors is hard. You need to learn from the past year's courses and finish the current ones. Many university courses are set up in a step-by-step manner. If you don't study well before changing majors, you will fall behind and doubt your ability to adapt. It is easy to set up self-imposed obstacles to gain inner peace.

If you want opportunities, you have to be prepared. Don't let past experiences hold you back. Use them to grow. If you were lost before, change yourself so it doesn't happen again.

Graduation season will always come. You can make a difference. If you weren't prepared last time, it will be hard. This time, prepare well.

We will all reach the end, but it will be different for each of us. The past has left you feeling helpless. What will your future be? You can choose to face it, shoulder responsibilities, or be pushed forward.

To find courage, you must face your past, accept your flaws, and embrace your future.

The answer is in your heart. There is a big difference between thinking and doing. We have unrealistic expectations. But if you choose to do it, you will see something different. If you have made up your mind, you can accept the result.

There's a type of procrastination called anxiety-based procrastination. If you get too much information to process and there's too much to do, you'll be unable to do anything. This situation is also very worrying.

As a recent grad, you have a lot going for you, including the chance to try your hand at new things and make a few mistakes along the way. If you're looking for work, it's a good idea to take a look at what your potential counterparts do and whether you'd fit in with their team.

There will definitely be some negative feedback from the outside world. Nobody's perfect, and you're no exception. You need to think about all this. Your current results are not up to scratch, and your biological clock is also out of sync, which indicates that you may have recently experienced sleep and work disruptions and stayed up late.

You need to adjust as soon as you can so you can't stay up late. This will help you think more clearly. The best thing you can do is get a good night's sleep before 11 pm so you can enjoy the natural rhythm of sunset and sunrise.

It's clear that everyone is working hard for a living. Despite the morning rush hour, no one is avoiding it or giving up. We can receive a lot of information, but we need to take a reduction approach to filter out the less important information and get away from it as soon as possible.

ZQ?

Perhaps you could try living differently?

We all have to live at our own pace. When we compare ourselves to others, it makes us think about how we measure up, which can make us feel conflicted and hold us back.

When it comes to learning, it's important to have a plan but also to go at your own pace. In life, you might find yourself climbing uphill while others are laughing and gossiping, and you may even see people still struggling to climb uphill when you reach the top.

In terms of taking action, make a plan and then forget about it. The most important thing is to be flexible and adjust the plan as you go along.

Planning is meant to save time and improve efficiency, but there's always going to be some uncontrollable chaos along the way. It's like this: the goal is ahead, but the path to the goal requires us to have the ability to change course at any time.

This is where we really have to be flexible. We make plans to serve ourselves, not to let them defeat us. You are the master of the plan.

Be open to all possibilities. There's a lot of information out there, but remember that you only need one job.

If we avoid things, it usually shows up as pessimism and negativity—in other words, a refusal to consider other possibilities. This is particularly true of the second point about changing course.

Live in the moment and enjoy what's going on right now. Deal with what's happening now.

The here and now is your life. Don't get caught up in what might happen and get bogged down in endless possibilities.

Every moment is a chance to start over. There's no need to get stuck in a rut. Every moment is a new beginning, with new possibilities and a different path to follow.

Hello, dear.

You were also changing majors at the time, so you had to take a more indirect path and probably had to study harder than others. This process would be slower, but you have your own demands and expectations, and you would be afraid of not keeping up with others. You would have concerns about your studies, which would prevent you from fully committing to your current studies.

Later, I saw some career information that caused me distress. I avoided and escaped involuntarily, which caused me trouble in my studies and life.

You mentioned a key word: change. You are a person who doesn't like your life very much and is constantly changing. Just as your previous major caused you a lot of pressure, now you may have to face a change from campus to society when you graduate soon. There will be some changes from school to work, as well as a lot of interpersonal interactions, things to do, etc. You will make changes on your own. This is a part you are afraid of and anxious about.

On top of this, you have also seen some information that has triggered your anxiety. It seems as if all your fears and worries have come true, as if they have all become reality and the real situation you are about to face. You are undoubtedly feeling the pressure.

Hello!

I am a mindfulness coach, and learning is the treasure of the body!

From your description, I can feel your inner anxiety, worry, stress, procrastination, pain, and helplessness, and I'm excited to help you overcome them!

You are frustrated by the helplessness of avoiding changes in your life. I won't go into detail here, but I've got three pieces of advice for you that I think you'll find really helpful!

First, I suggest you try to understand yourself and give yourself a little comfort.

Doing so will make your heart feel slightly lighter, which will help you think about what to do next—and you'll be amazed at how much better you feel!

You say that since mid-2018, you've been feeling a bit scattered due to anxiety. Now that you're a recent grad, you're feeling the excitement of a new chapter in your life, but you're also feeling a little anxious about the job search. At the same time, you've also been a bit of a procrastinator. This state of avoidance makes you feel a bit helpless, but it also means you're open to making a change! Your state of mind is totally understandable. We all crave certainty and want to be in control of our lives. We tend to avoid harm and seek gain, worrying that we can't cope with uncertainty. At the same time, many people also become procrastinators due to anxiety and pressure because, at the moment of inaction, they feel a sense of control. But at the same time, the power of reason and the potential for internal improvement will prompt them to make a breakthrough. Just like you now, you want to change the status quo, so you have to try to understand and comfort yourself, and "see" the anxious and helpless self who wants to change but temporarily doesn't know how to do it. This will give you extra mental energy to think about other things, otherwise your mind will continue to be affected by various negative emotions.

And the best part is, when you allow yourself to understand and accept yourself, you can actually make changes in your current situation! It might sound a little strange, but it's true. Because when you allow yourself to embrace your current situation, you're actually allowing for change.

Secondly, I highly recommend that you take a rational look at your own state of mind.

Rational thinking is a great way to gain a deeper understanding of yourself and the world around you!

To gain a rational view of the situation, you simply need to do two simple things!

The first thing you need to do is embrace the truth that uncertainty is the reality of life!

In other words, life is an incredible journey of change and possibility! While we can't control everything, we can embrace the exciting unknown.

From another perspective, uncertainty is also a great thing!

As the great psychologist Adler said, "The uncertainty of life is the source of our hopes."

Think about it: every day is a brand new opportunity to make a change!

And of course, this doesn't mean we shouldn't pursue certainty. It just means we need to understand that certainty may be fleeting, and uncertainty is the norm. So, let's be prepared for it!

Second, it's time to get excited about action! It's one of the most effective ways to resolve negative emotions such as anxiety, helplessness, and procrastination.

In other words, you need to move, and I know you can do it! Once you take that first step, you'll be amazed at how quickly you can resolve the problem.

Absolutely! Action needs to be driven by ideas. You've come here for help, which shows you have the "will" to change. That's a great start! You've got to believe in yourself.

When you look at it rationally like this, I'm sure you'll find that some of the negative emotions in your heart will be resolved!

I really encourage you to focus on yourself and think about what you can do to feel better.

When you take a deep breath and think about your situation rationally, or when you know what to do, then you focus on yourself and give it your all!

For example, you can think about what the most urgent thing to do is. Do you need to graduate first? If so, you can try starting with the simple course assignments and get them done. When you finish, you will likely feel a sense of self-efficacy and be willing to do the assignments for other subjects. After that, you can feel at ease gathering information about job hunting. In this way, you will slowly get moving!

You can also ask your friends to urge you on! External motivation is a great way to get you moving and improve your mood.

You can also learn to establish a sense of responsibility and accountability to force yourself to stop procrastinating. Think about the amazing things you can achieve when you stop putting things off! You'll be able to graduate, find a job, make your family proud, and feel a sense of accomplishment. After thinking about this, you'll be inspired to take action, and your mood will skyrocket!

You can also think about how you dealt with anxiety before, because you said that since the beginning of mid-2018, you have had difficulty concentrating because of anxiety. So what did you do at that time? Were there times when you were able to concentrate? Then applying the good experiences from that time to your current state will most likely help you, and this will make you feel better. In short, you should know that as long as you "want" to change, you can do something to change the status quo, and it's going to be great!

Once you start taking action, you'll be amazed at how quickly those negative emotions start to melt away. It's incredible how action can be the best remedy for so many of life's challenges!

I really hope my answer helps you! If you want to chat some more, just click on "Find a Coach" at the bottom and I'll be in touch!

Hello. I'm Jinmu's little angel, and I'm here to help.

It has been four to five years since mid-2018. I don't know if the questioner is a fresh undergraduate or a fresh graduate student. During this period, the questioner has experienced changing majors, falling behind, anxiety, and now just going through the motions.

The questioner is currently experiencing the following distress:

1. Inability to concentrate.

2. Anxiety and confusion about the changes in life after graduation.

3. They are anxious about receiving negative feedback on their work.

4. Poor academic performance often leads to staying up late or even all night, which disrupts the biological clock.

5. Lack of confidence and courage to face the future.

6. People become lazy, degenerate, and unmotivated.

Many recent graduates will be able to relate to the situation described by the questioner. It's not uncommon for people to have not had time to plan for their future and to be unsure of what lies ahead when they leave school. It's only natural for this to lead to feelings of confusion and unease, along with anxiety.

If you're asking this question, you need to do some soul-searching.

1. Career planning

You're almost done with your studies, but there's still time to make a plan for your career. Start by creating a career plan for yourself.

(1) Get a job in your major.

You must take a day to study what you have learned in the past four years of college. You need to be sure that the things you have learned are enough to support you in finding a job in your field.

If you lack the necessary knowledge or skills, what do you need to learn? (This requires you to combine your own course of study with the job requirements of the employer and make a comprehensive judgment.)

The following case study will demonstrate the key points.

Take the "network engineering" major as an example. You will study a series of courses such as C language, C++, JAVA, compilation principles, website and web page design, etc. However, you will start to specialize according to your interests or abilities during the learning process. If you want to do back-end development, you will mainly study development languages such as C language, C++, and JAVA. If you want to do mobile development, you will study development such as IOS and Android. If you want to be a front-end engineer, you will mainly study web front-end development. Different positions have different focuses.

You must consider whether to pursue a position in your major based on your major. If you want to pursue it, you need to identify your strengths, weaknesses, and areas for improvement, and then find a job in a related field.

(2) Finding a job in a non-related major

If you want to find a job across multiple disciplines or work in a job that does not have a strong professional attribute, you must reflect on which job you are suited for, whether you like it, whether it meets your development needs, and what skills you lack.

I'm going to share a case.

(1) Entertainment-oriented work

1) Novel editor/operator

They must have extensive experience reading novels, be highly proficient internet users, and possess unique insights into novels.

2) Music Editor/Operator

Senior music listeners with excellent appreciation skills and unique insights.

3) Game operation/game testing

Senior game players who are active in the game community year-round.

4) Comic book artist

Draw the line art for the comics.

5) Internet anchor

(2) Operations-oriented work

1) New media operations

WeChat public account, Xiaohongshu, TikTok, Toutiao, Kwai account, etc.

2) Event operations

You must have experience planning online and offline interactions. (In school, this is organizing and planning club activities.)

3) Product Operations/Product Manager

College students should read the book "Everyone is a Product Manager" to learn more.

4) Community operations

Community operations for various BBSs on college student forums.

You can identify your weaknesses and learn the necessary software by studying the job requirements. Know yourself and your opponent, and you will win every battle.

2. Adjust your mindset and actions.

1) Slow down.

The original poster is caught in a vicious circle of not being able to keep up with the pace, becoming more and more anxious. The first step is to slow down. Don't compare yourself with others. Focus on yourself and be in your own state. Bring your mind back and make your own plan.

2) One step at a time.

(1-0.01) * N, the larger N, the closer it approaches zero infinitely; (1+.01) * N, the larger N, the closer it approaches infinity infinitely. This means that even if you only make a little progress every day, over time you will grow infinitely. So don't indulge in anxiety and indecision, just get moving. Even if you memorize one word a day, after a year you will have mastered 365 words. Lower your expectations and keep going steadily.

3) Reward and punishment

You can't go from zero to one thousand in one step. Even if you only do a little bit of something every day and make a little progress, you should reward yourself. Of course, in order to limit your laziness, you should also punish yourself if you make a little bit of a daily regression or slack. It's all for the better, so you have to learn to be a little bit strict with yourself, reward and punish clearly, and constantly motivate yourself to make progress.

3. Life advice: Learn to love yourself.

1) Give yourself a hug when you're unhappy.

Life is full of disappointments, and there will always be times when you are unhappy. You must learn to hug yourself when you are unhappy, and be your own strongest support.

Admit your own insignificance.

Admit it. You're an ordinary person. You're slower at learning and have a poorer ability to adapt than others. Don't feel sad. The slow bird catches the worm. Persevere, and you will reach the future you want.

I am Jinmu's little angel. I am here to help. If you are still confused and at a loss, contact me.

Good day, It is a pleasure to see you.

Firstly, approach all tasks with dedication and respect your own judgement as if it were a guiding principle. When you worship a Buddha, you are in essence worshipping your own heart.

If you are not focused, you will not achieve your objectives and your performance will decline.

The questioner has experienced difficulties in maintaining concentration and avoiding distractions over the past two years, which can be described as internal attrition.

Through deliberate practice, concentration can be developed. It is hoped that the questioner will be able to calm down, get rid of anxiety, and take things one step at a time.

It is important to note that not all information on the internet is accurate. I strongly recommend that you verify the information you find online before acting on it.

During my tenure at the university, I experienced a period of uncertainty regarding my academic major and future career prospects. At that time, the prevailing sentiment among my peers was that securing employment in the future would be challenging.

During the recent winter vacation period, I had the opportunity to participate in an internship program. This experience has reinforced my belief that the road ahead for young professionals like us is broad and that we have the energy and motivation to create our own success.

It is important to critically evaluate online information, pay close attention to reality, and have confidence in yourself.

It is essential to prioritize your health as a foundation for success. Understanding your physical condition and taking proper care of your body is crucial for optimal learning efficiency.

If you avoid it, the pressure on your shoulders will become increasingly intense. I believe you have the courage to face it. There are many possibilities for the unknown, but as long as you are confident in your abilities, you will be able to handle it.

It would be beneficial to focus more on the here and now, engage in more physical activity, prioritize self-care, avoid procrastination, and maintain a positive outlook.

I hope you will find these suggestions helpful.

Good morning. I am pleased to see that you have requested assistance.

I hope that my sharing can provide you with some support and assistance. I can sense your anxiety, unease, and helplessness at this moment, when you are unable to fully devote yourself to your studies. You desire to be understood and supported.

It is important to allow and accept your desire to escape, even if you are trying to prepare for the graduation season with all your might. Your body and mind cannot cooperate well, and you are easily influenced and disturbed by the outside world. Additionally, you lack motivation and initiative internally, which makes you feel troubled and helpless.

As you have observed, the reason for your lack of concentration is the change in the difficulty of learning after changing majors. To address this, you need to make appropriate adjustments in various aspects. This will require a certain amount of time, and of course the progress of learning will be slower. In the face of uncertainty and change, people will feel anxious, uneasy, and lack confidence. They may also feel afraid that they will not be able to cope well with and adapt to the new changes and uncertainties. Therefore, to a certain extent, everyone will feel anxious, uneasy, and distracted. This is also a person's instinctive self-protection.

It is therefore important to allow and accept these moderate emotional feelings and behavioral states. Moderate emotional reactions and behavioral states will, to a large extent, stimulate a person's internal motivation and enthusiasm, guiding them to seek better ways and methods to achieve their expectations.

However, if emotional reactions and excessive patterns of behavior occur, they may affect an individual's normal learning, work, and life to a large extent. For example, if you are instantly infected with their anxiety when you see negative feedback on a job search, it will be difficult for you to persevere in anything, and you will procrastinate, losing motivation to learn. You are unable to accept this about yourself, so you force yourself to relieve your inner self-doubt by staying up all night. However, staying up all night is against human nature and comes at the cost of depriving you of normal sleep and rest. Your mental state at this time will directly affect your emotions, trapping you in a vicious cycle of emotions and behaviors.

It is important to recognize that your emotional responses to others are often influenced by your own internal emotions. For instance, if you lack confidence and experience anxiety, it is essential to address these feelings and work towards growth.

It is important to try to understand your anxiety and the underlying needs that cause it, such as the desire to be accepted, affirmed, recognized, encouraged, and to have a sense of control. It is also helpful to identify the specific fears that cause your anxiety, such as the fear of being rejected or criticized. Once you have identified these needs and fears, you can begin to accept your anxiety. There are several ways to alleviate your anxiety, including taking deep breaths and finding a new way of learning. You can also break down learning tasks and difficulties and follow the laws of your internal biological clock to maximize learning efficiency.

It is also important to cultivate self-confidence. A gratitude journal can be used to record daily progress and growth. In addition, it is beneficial to cultivate interests and passions in daily life and studies to gain greater control.

My name is Lily, and I am the Q&A Center representative. I extend my personal regards to you, and I wish you well in your endeavors.

Good morning, My name is Qingqing, and I'm a social worker.

From your description, I understand your feelings of helplessness and confusion, as well as your desire to change the current situation. I hope that my analysis provides the answers you seek.

(1) First and foremost, the challenges faced by the questioner are also those that many graduates will encounter. Over time, this has even become a standard expectation for new graduates, so it is essential to have confidence in oneself and the resilience to overcome these difficulties.

(2) With regard to the question of collecting information on professional topics, I would like to present a simple example. I am curious as to what kind of mentality the questioner has when making online purchases. Many people are overwhelmed when making online purchases. Businesses disseminate a considerable amount of false information, which leaves us uncertain as to what to do. Reviews can also be contradictory, and sometimes we even question whether these reviews are genuine. Simple online shopping can be confusing due to the diversity of information. This requires us to take the initiative to sort out valid information and find more reliable channels to think and make decisions.

(3) For the remaining questions, I believe the questioner can find the answers within themselves. Finally, I would like to give the questioner two words: Be open and be brave. Being open will allow you to calmly face the difficulties and setbacks you will face.

Another point to consider is the importance of viewing anxiety in the correct light. It is a normal emotion that everyone experiences from time to time. There is no need to exaggerate it or allow it to become a cause for unnecessary concern.

Best regards, Yi Xinli, Social Worker