Recently, I've been very sad. My mother doesn't love us that much. She loves money more. What should I do?

Good day. I am a heart exploration coach, offering a free consultation and warm company while I listen to your story of emotions.

I empathize with your situation. You want to demonstrate your gratitude to your mother for raising you, but you also find her repeated financial requests difficult to accept.

Your mother's actions have had a detrimental impact on your well-being, both physically and mentally, and have also affected your marriage.

I would like to begin by offering you a warm hug. I would be interested to know your mother's marital status and the nature of the relationship between your family members.

Let us consider the issue from the following points of view.

What is the rationale behind the mother's persistent requests for financial assistance?

As previously stated, your mother consistently requests financial assistance for the purchase of a larger or more luxurious residence, expensive attire, and other similar items. These actions may have negatively impacted your relationship with your mother and also affected the lives of your immediate family.

Do you perceive what kind of need fulfillment the mother is seeking? It appears to be on the material level, such as a house and clothes. However, what is the underlying need?

It is possible that the mother is seeking to prove and reassure herself of your love and care in order to gain a sense of security.

When her needs are not met, she will repeat these behaviors. These needs can also be met in other ways, such as scheduling more frequent visits, allocating more time for quality interaction, and learning to communicate her emotions and feelings in a clear and constructive manner.

Similarly, the mothers in "Ode to Joy" and "Home Sweet Home" have both experienced difficulties due to their daughters' perceived need for constant attention. The underlying motivation behind their actions was to extract more from their daughters in order to provide for their sons. This behavior is driven by the mother's love for her son.

However, this distorted form of love has had a negative impact on your other biological child. "Seeing" is the first step towards change, and seeing gives you the right to choose.

2. Manage your own emotions.

From your statements, I can discern a pervasive sense of powerlessness. It appears that you have few options for responding to your mother's persistent requests for financial assistance beyond acquiescing to them. You have even contemplated compromising your marriage to meet your mother's expectations.

This is not an appropriate demonstration of filial piety; it is, in fact, foolish. The eldest son in "All Is Well" disregarded his wife's feelings in order to show his filial piety to his father.

"There are always more than three solutions to every problem." The source of your sense of powerlessness and helplessness is unclear, but it is a pattern that is characteristic of you. The inherent patterns of behavior, emotions, and thinking that we all have are brought into our various relationships.

"You teach people how to treat you." There are also patterns in how people interact with each other. It's akin to a dance: you advance and he retreats, he advances and you retreat.

To some extent, this behavior on the part of your mother can be attributed to the actions or inactions of your sisters.

It is important to achieve a psychological separation from your mother. Each of you has your own life issues, and her need for security must be addressed by her alone. You are doing your best to express filial piety and meet her needs.

Furthermore, your relationship with your mother offers valuable insights into key life lessons, such as self-love and courage. Our parents, like all individuals, serve as guides, imparting wisdom and lessons that help us navigate life's challenges.

The ability to love others is contingent upon first developing the capacity to love oneself.

As you navigate this exciting but challenging time, it is important to recognize that you have the ability to manage your emotions through various coping mechanisms. One such method is through the use of music, which can help to create a soothing ambience. Additionally, communication with your partner and seeking input from different perspectives can be beneficial. Most importantly, it is crucial to seek psychological support from your partner to ensure a healthy and positive journey.

I hope the above is helpful to you. Best regards, [Name]

Should you wish to continue communicating, please click on "Find a Coach" located in the upper right-hand corner or at the bottom of the page. I will communicate and grow with you on a one-to-one basis.

Hello, question asker! I'm your answerer, Enoch.

From what the questioner shared, it seems that his mother may have had several girls and no boys. After the questioner married his sisters, his mother would often ask him and his sisters for money to spend. She would be happy if they gave her money, but would be unhappy if they didn't. It seems like there's not much else the questioner and his sisters can contribute to this story.

I'm not sure if the questioner's mother has a son. It's possible that the questioner's mother is a little vain, wants to live in a big house, and wants her children to be able to provide financial support for her. The questioner's mother may also be a little insecure, and only feel at ease when she has enough money. The questioner's mother may also lack independence, and therefore rely too much on her daughters.

I'm not sure why the questioner thinks that not giving her mother money regularly will lead to her divorce. It might be that her husband doesn't like it when her mother asks her daughters for money all the time.

Once you're married, you start a new life and family. It's important to respect your parents, and it's your job as a child to help your parents when they're in trouble. But if you're living a comfortable life and still ask your kids for money after they get married, it can be annoying and affect their lives. So, it's important for the questioner and her sister to communicate with their mother properly. If their mother makes a mistake, they should help her fix it in time. They shouldn't use divorce to get their mother to change. This can be harmful to you and won't help your mother. It's important to find a solution that works for everyone.

So, what I think the questioner and her sister should do is help their mother manage her finances in a reasonable way while still being kind and reassuring to her. It's important not to let their mother's behavior affect them and their marriage. I really hope the questioner and her sister can talk together about how they can handle their relationship with their mother.