Reflecting repeatedly on the experiences 15 years ago (when I was 19), career confusion?

Hello there!

A little pat on the shoulder to show you're there for you.

Do you remember what it was like to be 19 and starting out in your career? I'm guessing you might have felt a bit lost at the time!

I totally get where you're coming from. Going through a period of career confusion can bring up a lot of internal conflict and pressure. I'm not 100% sure if I understand you correctly. You're 35 now, looking back on past career experiences, and suddenly feeling like you have no goals. That can really bring pressure and challenges in career choices, right?

In a nutshell, the person asking the question is actually at a crossroads in life and in their career. We all encounter crossroads, but some of us are more stable (not prone to job-hopping), while those who frequently change jobs will face new pressures to choose a career because they haven't had the chance to explore an industry for a long time.

People usually reach a career bottleneck at around 35. This is a great time to reflect on your career path and consider new opportunities. You may also have new demands for your career and desire more stable work. Of course, it's also important to consider changes in the external market. New people will continue to appear in the job market, and economic development or recession will all affect job changes.

So, choosing a career without thinking it through might still lead to a roadblock in your career later on. It could also lead to burnout and stress (10-20 years). That's why it's so important to take some time for yourself and really think about what you want. Just as the original poster is taking a moment to reflect on the present, it's also a great idea to think about what you really love and like.

It's so important to feel connected to our goals. When we feel this way, we can feel a sense of self-worth and accomplishment, and we can feel satisfied. As we mentioned earlier, we may not have previously valued the assembly line work, but now, with hindsight, we feel a sense of satisfaction. This is because our needs have changed. When we respect our own needs, our inner drive is better directed towards our goals.

Second, take a good, honest look at your abilities. Sometimes, our experience doesn't give us the edge we need to compete for every job out there. And sometimes, jobs that require experience also require other skills. So, it's important to assess your skills and work on enhancing them to help you land a better position. After all, the market is always changing, and we need to adapt to those changes.

It might be a bit tricky at first, but if we choose a career that really speaks to us and then take a good, honest look at the skills we need, we'll see that with a little hard work, our skills will keep getting better and better. That's when we've actually finished the process of reorganizing our new self-resources, broken through the bottleneck, and our feelings will be better because we've followed our inner selves. At the same time, there will be a constant internal drive, and we'll feel a sense of self-worth. The feelings of emptiness and confusion in our hearts will gradually disappear.

I really hope this helps!

Warmest regards!

Dear questioner, Hello!

From what you've said, it seems like you're at a crossroads. Career choice is a big deal for young people. It affects your future in so many ways. You want to find a job you like and are good at. You also want to make sure it'll provide you with a stable and lasting financial income.

You started working at 19 and have since changed jobs and companies.

You're currently between jobs, right? Are you thinking back to your first job because you miss it?

Do you regret leaving?

If you think this way, it's likely that stability is the most important thing you value in your career right now.

Given what you've been through over the past 15 years, you're the kind of person who has big aspirations and ideals. You want to see better development in the workplace and to realize the value of your life.

But this path seems to be full of frustration and disappointment.

We know that there's often a big gap between what we want and what we get. Otherwise, we wouldn't have the saying, "ideals are full, reality is skinny."

For now, the best thing you can do is "temporarily set your ideals aside and focus on reality."

First, an ideal is something you work towards in the future, while reality is what you deal with day to day.

If you're facing financial pressures and your current situation isn't protected, the most urgent thing is to find a job that fits your abilities to solve your daily problems.

Even if this job is something you previously looked down on and felt had no value, as long as it can give you a stable life, then it is worth putting in the work.

2. Summarize what you've learned from past experiences and gradually work towards your ideal state.

I'm not sure if you've taken a look back over the past 15 years and identified the things you've done right and the things you could do better. If you just sigh and regret in retrospect, it's not very meaningful and may even bring you some negative emotions.

We still need to take a realistic approach. Summarize the lessons learned from each previous job and identify our strengths and weaknesses. That way, when we look for a job next time, we can be more targeted, down-to-earth, and confident.

3. Keep it real and look up to the stars.

Only down-to-earth hard work can give us peace of mind. Having a vision is important too, as it gives us a sense of purpose, a driving force to strive for it, and a plan to grow and work towards it step by step. An unrealistic ideal can sometimes become a pipe dream or a daydream, which can lead to confusion.

On top of that, if you're not under financial pressure, don't need to find a job right away, and have the time and energy, you can create a comprehensive career plan and learn, enhance, and develop the skills you need for your dream job. That'll bring you closer to your goal.

I hope you can find a way out of this confusion soon!

I hope you find a solution to your confusion soon!

Hello. I appreciate that you're facing some challenges right now, including physical difficulties, job changes, and the difficulty of finding a job. I understand that this is an uneasy experience.

However, I would like to suggest that perhaps every challenge is an opportunity for growth, and that everything you experience now is paving the way for your future self.

You have gained a great deal of experience in a number of different roles, including sales clerk, production clerk, and materials clerk. This experience is very valuable and demonstrates your ability to work and adapt in a variety of settings.

However, in the job search process, it would be beneficial to consider how to better demonstrate our strengths and how to match them with market demand.

You might find it helpful to consider planning your career direction more clearly. It could be beneficial to reflect on what areas you really love, what your interests are, and what your long-term career goals are.

This may help you to better target your job search and avoid sending out resumes without much thought.

Secondly, with regard to your technical secondary school diploma and your concern that you feel "relatively stupid," I would like to suggest that academic qualifications are not the only measure of a person's abilities. It may be helpful to consider that your work experience, learning ability, and adaptability are also important factors.

At the same time, it is important to remember that everyone has their own strengths and advantages. One way to enhance your self-confidence is by constantly learning and improving yourself. This could include taking vocational training courses, reading relevant books, or seeking the help of a psychologist.

You might like to consider the following strategies during the job search process:

It would be beneficial to optimize your resume. This involves ensuring that your resume clearly and concisely showcases your work experience, skills, and achievements. It would also be helpful to highlight your strengths and experience that is relevant to the position.

It might be helpful to proactively seek opportunities in addition to relying on job boards or headhunters. You could also consider contacting professionals in the company or industry you are interested in to find out if they have any suitable job openings.

It might be helpful to expand your network by participating in industry events, social gatherings, or volunteering activities, as this could help you meet more people and learn about more career opportunities.

It is important to remain positive during the job search process, which can often be frustrating and challenging. Believing in your abilities and keeping an open mind to new opportunities is crucial.

Finally, it might be helpful to consider the advice of a psychologist. A psychologist can help you better understand yourself, improve your communication and coordination skills, emotional management skills, etc.

This will also help you to feel more at ease in the workplace and to better cope with the various challenges in life.

In short, it would be beneficial to believe in your abilities and potential, and to keep working hard to pursue your dreams and goals. You may find that the future will thank the present for all your hard work!

I encourage you to keep up the good work!

From your description, it is evident that you have consistently striven to adhere to the highest standards of conduct and to exert a commendable degree of effort in your professional endeavors. It is, however, important to recognize that we all confront our own unique challenges. In your case, the circumstances have led to a shift in your work environment, a detrimental impact on your health, and a recommendation from the company to pursue a different course of action. It is understandable that you are reluctant to leave, given the significant investment of time and energy you have dedicated to the organization over the course of your professional life. Additionally, you are not yet at the stage of retirement, which further complicates the decision. Your feelings of regret and remorse may be attributed to the realization that your personal value has been diminished, and that you are perceived as unlikable.

It is, in fact, a challenging endeavor, so it is advisable to provide yourself with a degree of emotional support.

It is an irrefutable fact that each individual harbors a unique set of regrets throughout their lifetime. These regrets are often discernible in the actions and behaviors of individuals. It is possible that upon introspection, one may come to recognize that their reluctance represents the optimal arrangement. It is, therefore, essential to address and confront one's discomfort.

If one experiences anxiety about quitting one's job and reflects on past experiences, feeling that one's existence has little value or meaning, it can be argued that a narrative is being constructed. This narrative may be seen as a representation of a child growing up without experiencing the care, support, or attention of their caregiver or parents. The accompanying regret may be seen as a manifestation of separation anxiety, which could be conceptualised as an ambivalent and passive attachment caused by the separation anxiety experienced during childhood. Passive obedience may be seen as relying on the underlying regret of thinking, that is, the idea that one is not good and will not be valued, to deal with the need for separation anxiety. However, it could be argued that this feeling is an idea derived from a growth experience. It could be proposed that everyone wants to be seen and valued, yet one has spent one's life verifying this experience with such regret. It could be argued that one does not see the value of one's existence, yet there are also people and things that love, see, and affirm one. It could be proposed that not being valued is an idea, but also a kind of real need that binds one. The resulting anxiety could be seen as forming a sense of shame, but it could be argued that this is just an expression of returning to the outside world that one did not experience during growth. In the past, anxiety was experienced when one did not see oneself. It could be proposed that one has always viewed oneself with suspicion, and that one's mind and thoughts are separated from one's real self. It could be argued that one is not the protagonist of one's thoughts. If one cries in anticipation of the once unseen self, it could be proposed that one also loses the strength one has now.

It is accurate to conclude that you have invested a significant amount of effort throughout your life, and that you have also been somewhat misguided in your self-perception. However, you have already demonstrated a capacity for growth and self-awareness with the assistance of a qualified counselor. In my observation, you have exhibited the courage to confront your own limitations and embrace your authentic self. Your actions are not perceived as foolish, but rather as a testament to your resilience and resourcefulness. It is evident that you have experienced distress, and that you have the potential to emerge from this experience with a deeper understanding of your true self. You have demonstrated the capacity to engage in a process of introspection and self-reflection with your counselor. This process allows you to explore the underlying meaning and value of your existence, and to gain insight into the motivations behind your emotions, choices, and adjustments. It also enables you to develop the courage to accept your emotions, choices, and adjustments, and to navigate the challenges and complexities of life with greater understanding and resilience. These are the most valuable gifts that you can bestow upon yourself.

Hello, I'm June.

I appreciate your courage and determination to gain experience in different fields. Everyone's career path is full of choices, and you have already made the best decision for you.

You want a stable job. You liked the simple quality inspection work. It gave you stability. The current job is challenging. It is also unstable.

This conflict in career choice is a common dilemma in the workplace.

I have identified some things to look out for in your career.

First, being forced to leave work in 2021 due to health problems has been hard on you. Faced with life's changes and the pressure of employment, you may feel less worthy, anxious, and even depressed.

You have chosen to take care of your body and emotions, which is a good thing. It will take time to recover from psychological trauma, but you are already taking steps in the right direction.

Second, when you were young, you had dreams and gave up a stable job to pursue new opportunities. This spirit of taking risks and being enterprising is unique to young people.

As your career progresses, you may gain a new understanding of your abilities and career prospects. When reality differs from expectations, you may regret and blame yourself.

Every choice is an opportunity to grow. They have shaped you into who you are today.

Finally, changes in your career can cause anxiety and confusion. Many people worry about past choices and the future.

But these challenges make us think, learn, and grow.

You regret leaving your job at the state-owned enterprise. But every decision has reasons and motives, which together form your unique career path.

In the days ahead, may you stay positive, face challenges bravely, and keep pursuing your dreams. When discussing career dissatisfaction and the desire for a stable income, we have to mention "counterfactual thinking."

This mindset affects future decisions.

Take a more positive and rational approach to your career path.

Your past experiences are valuable. They have shaped your professional skills and given you a unique perspective and problem-solving abilities.

Pay more attention to your strengths and achievements. A technical secondary school diploma does not limit your abilities. Your experience and skills are valuable in the job market.

Accept your past and believe in your ability to achieve your career goals.

To plan your career, decide what you want to do and what skills you need. Think about how you can get the skills you need through training or education. Also, think about how the job market and your own experience affect your career. This will help you adapt to your future career.

Your personal network is also important. Stay in touch with friends, family, former colleagues, and others. Let them know what you're looking for.

They may be able to help you find your ideal job more quickly.

Continuous learning and self-improvement lead to career success. Stay curious about new knowledge, skills, and industry trends.

Learning helps you become more competitive and prepares you for future career growth.

Stay positive. Find the good in your work and focus on your achievements.

Believe in yourself and your future. Finding your dream job may take time, but if you're patient and persevere, the future will be better.

May you succeed in your career and achieve your dreams.

I love you!

Hello. You have had a lot of difficulties at work and in life recently. You had to stop working due to illness, treatment, and recovery. Now you are having trouble finding a job, which is stressful and frustrating.

When life gets tough, we often doubt ourselves. We think about whether we made the right choice. The recent problems have made you think about the "stable" opportunity you had 15 years ago. You gave up that stability at the time. Now, you feel regret and blame yourself. You feel like your decision didn't bring the good results you wanted.

Such thoughts lead to frustration, feeling let down, a sense of no progress, and depression.

These feelings are normal when you're under pressure. Try to understand your own difficulties, but remember that it's wrong to judge yourself based on what you think might have happened. You couldn't have predicted what would happen in the future, so you made choices based on what you knew then.

It's normal that at 19 you don't want a simple, repetitive job. Would you really feel better if you did that job for 15 years?

You haven't earned much money or improved much after changing jobs. But you've gained personal growth and development. You've learned more about society and your own skills. There are many reasons why you haven't found a job yet. The job market has been slow for two years. Many people are facing pressure to find work. This doesn't mean you've done something wrong or aren't capable.

You can look at your experiences differently. Instead of staying in your comfort zone, you had the courage to explore. Despite illness and job loss, you started a new job after recovery. You left because the job did not suit you. You were able to make choices for yourself, which shows you can take care of yourself.

When you feel remorse or self-criticism, replace those feelings with neutral ones. For example, replace "I've been tossing and turning for so long and haven't made any money or improved my abilities; I've failed..." with "I've always had the courage to overcome difficulties and seek new opportunities. I hope to increase my income and have the resources to improve my communication and coordination abilities."

I will look at my efforts and strengths and be patient in finding the next opportunity. Taking care of my physical and mental health and feelings is important. I can do this now.

Hello, dear author! I'm absolutely amazing!

It sounds like you've had a really rough time, but you're going to get through this! Sending you lots of hugs and support!

I'm so excited to tell you that your health is the most important thing! It was the best decision you could have made to take the time to get yourself in shape, both physically and emotionally. Now that you're recovered, it's time to celebrate!

I totally get why you're feeling confused and anxious about finding a job. But I want you to know that your abilities and experience are valuable. You just may not have found the right opportunity and platform to show them yet.

In addition, from your description, it feels like you don't have enough confidence. But you can change that! Get to know yourself better, learn to accept your imperfections, and realize that everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses.

When you can look at yourself in a comprehensive and objective way, you will be more confident in facing your strengths and be brave enough to improve your weaknesses—and you'll be amazed at what you can achieve!

Every morning, say something positive to yourself in the mirror! You can say things like, "I can overcome any difficulty," "I have unique value," and "I deserve to be loved and respected." These words can subtly influence your state of mind and make you more confident!

Once you've updated your resume with a better, more comprehensive understanding of yourself, you'll be ready to take on the world! Carefully sort out your work experience and skills and create a targeted resume. Highlight your experience in sales administration and production documentation, as well as the achievements and gains you have made in these jobs.

Improve yourself! You are not stuck where you are now. You can improve your professional skills and comprehensive quality through self-study, training, etc.

Embrace the journey! The job search process can present some unexpected twists and turns, like a salary that's not quite what you hoped for or a job that's not exactly what you imagined. But that's okay! It's all part of the adventure. You can still find a great job to start with and then, with time, you can start looking for even better opportunities.

Your journey has been full of surprises and challenges, but it has also made you stronger and wiser. Believe in yourself, and the future will be brighter than ever! Best of luck! (ง ̀_ ́)ง