Reviewing your own interpersonal interaction patterns with others, and afraid of relationship breakdown?

I can see that the questioner is confused, so I want to reassure him and show some compassion. It is clear that he wants to have good relationships, but in reality, he has difficulty getting along with others and feels lost.

It is possible that the questioner's upbringing or early parenting situation may have contributed to this issue. In such cases, the caregiver may not have provided immediate feedback when a need was expressed, or may have sometimes failed to provide feedback at all. Conversely, the caregiver may have paid excessive attention to the individual, which has resulted in a lack of clarity regarding the nature of the relationship and its boundaries.

In a truly safe and comfortable relationship, both parties can trust and respect each other, with clear understanding of boundaries. Each individual is able to express their needs and receive respect in return.

In such a relationship, all parties will feel secure and at ease.

It should be noted that not everyone can achieve this state in real-life interpersonal interactions and relationship interactions. This is due to the fact that everyone suffers to a greater or lesser extent as a result of the parenting process, with the extent of this suffering varying from one individual to another.

It is possible to achieve this by maintaining constant awareness and pursuing personal growth. If the necessary conditions are in place, it may be beneficial to seek the guidance of a professional psychological counselor to facilitate healing and progress towards a secure attachment relationship.

In any case, awareness is the first step towards change. The questioner has already achieved a high level of awareness, and I believe that change is imminent.

Greetings,

It appears that you are experiencing feelings of anxiety, depression/after-falling-ill-confusion-about-academic-pursuits-i-feel-very-sad-15022.html" target="_blank">confusion, and depression. Together, we accompanied your younger self to gain insight into past experiences.

Please describe the manner in which your parents communicated with you when you were a child and encountered difficulties or interpersonal conflicts.

It appears that you feel unappreciated by your parents and that you are becoming increasingly reserved.

You exhibit a cautious demeanor toward yourself, others, and relationships, and you tend to avoid forming relationships with others. This indicates that you are in an avoidant attachment pattern.

When you are willing to allow others to gain access to your inner world, to listen to you, and to comprehend your perspective, you mentioned "control." This topic is often avoided by many individuals, yet you have chosen to express yourself and engage in a courageous investigation of the underlying reasons.

Such behavior instills confidence in others to make necessary changes.

Your reluctance to end the relationship leads you to make compromises and become subservient.

From both perspectives,

The fundamental aspect of your personality is a pronounced inclination to respect others.

However, in order to respect others, one must pay a significant price, namely the suppression of one's feelings. As a result, the relationship dynamic becomes less flexible, and both parties may experience a lack of natural ease and relaxation.

Psychology frequently references the nourishment that relationships provide for an individual's spiritual growth.

The questioner's nervousness about "relationships" can be interpreted as a statement of a strong desire for spiritual growth.

Given that relationships are inherently reciprocal, it is imperative to consider both perspectives. In the event of experiencing discomfort, it is crucial to express one's feelings.

Individuals who are able to comprehend the emotional nuances of another person will not evade or disregard their feelings.

In social relationships, positive and proactive responses will eventually emerge to compensate for the trauma of childhood.

I wish you the best.

Best wishes.

Hello, question asker!

??

First of all, the answerer wants to give you a big hug! When I read your words, I feel a little sad for you, but I also feel excited for you.

From what you've said, it's clear you're on the lookout for a great, long-lasting relationship!

It's not easy to enter a relationship, which is a good thing! It will not start easily, nor will it end easily, but it will be worth it in the end.

This shows that you are a sentimental person, and that's a great thing!

For others, they also want to be valued in a relationship. It is actually a blessing to have a friend like you!

??

At the same time, the respondent also sees that you are prone to controlling relationships and losing yourself. But you can change this! You can put the importance of the relationship above your own self.

This is an area that really needs some tweaking. Otherwise, in the long run, there'll be no way to improve the relationship, and you'll also miss out on being yourself and developing yourself.

It can be a lose-lose situation, but there's always a way to win!

??

Regarding the above-mentioned control, the questioner needs to have a new understanding that we and others are two different individuals. Everyone has an individual sense of self, which is something to be celebrated!

That is, the right of others to do and choose what they want. And if we want a relationship to work well, then we absolutely must respect each other!

Respect the other person's right to choose friends and establish personal relationships. When the other party in the relationship feels respected by you, you'll have a great relationship!

He or she will always want to be with you! All you have to do is take care of yourself and be yourself.

??

And now for the best part: separation!

We will face the closeness and distance of various relationships throughout our lives. If you are still relatively young, it's time to grow up! Sometimes we need to face the separation or loss of some relationships, but that's all part of life's rich tapestry.

Even if we have a great time together for a while, we may eventually find ourselves taking different paths in life, whether it's due to career choices, family commitments, or just the natural ebb and flow of things. Change is inevitable, and it's all part of the journey!

When faced with the separation of a relationship and the loss of emotions, we have the amazing opportunity to mourn this part! You can choose to talk about it, write a story, or mourn in other ways.

Embrace the sadness of letting go of the past. It's okay to take your time and create a space for this transition.

??

And for someone who values relationships as much as the OP does, when you encounter a bad relationship and you really want to maintain it, it must be a hundred times more painful. But you can get through it! In this situation, you should just let go and learn to let go. Don't look for reasons in yourself and try to make an effort.

We should put our efforts into things that will help us grow and improve! For example, respect and choice.

??

Write it down!

And the most important thing is to be good to yourself (●°u°●) »

After all, without you, what is a relationship? Without you, what is the point of a relationship?

Best of luck! (✪▽✪)